Nobody walks out of life unscathed. That fact is just a given. Now whether we're tarnished by our own hand or another is a different story. We all get ourselves into situations where we realize... "uh-oh, I'm screwed!" But then how many of us decide that going down alone is not an option. Often we tend to burn the building and it's inhabitants with us.
Redditor u/q6u8g2 wanted everyone to share shoot a warning to others in a 'just in case' scenario by asking.... People of Reddit what's your "If I'm going down I'm taking you with me." Story?
Into the Lake....
Super simple, but I am notorious in my friend group of having a fear of water. I'm okay in pools since you can (hopefully) see the bottom but even shallow lakes rivers and oceans are a no go for me. Some friends ended up renting a boat and wanted to take it out on the lake and beeeeegged me to come out. I kept telling them no way in heck would I ever willingly go out and sit in the middle of a lake.
Finally I caved because I dunno. They were friends and really wanted me to go. Someone said it could really help me face my fears. Even though I didn't plan on getting in the water, I'm not going to wear jeans to the sunny "beach" so I left my wallet, keys, and phone in the car. Within 10 minutes of getting to the middle of the lake, buddy who suggested I "face my fears" and I think his brother ask me if I got the time. I shrug and tell them I left my phone back in my car.
They both lunge at me and start throwing me overboard. I latch on for dear life and fight as if the river is lava because to me it essentially is. I eventually realize I'm 100% going over and there is nothing I can do. Except let go of the railing I was gripping onto and instead grab them both as I pulled back and forced all three of us into the water.
Getting back on the boat was easy, it had a little ramp and ladder for climbing in/out and you can bet your butt I was the first climbing back up. The brothers got mad at me because they had their phones in their pockets and I ruined them. But everyone quickly pointed out that they pushed me in the water knowing I hated it and that they deserved it. They argued that they intentionally tried to make sure I didn't have anything electronic on me but everyone shut them down.
They were allowed back on the boat when they apologized. My friend apologized and I actually did chip in to help him get a new phone later, but his brother swam back to shore and got even more upset and demanded I help him with his new phone since I helped his brother. But he didn't feel bad or think he did anything wrong so forget that guy. RedditWhileWorking23
My next door neighbor kept picking my plum tree dry when I would go out of town so I cut it down out of frustration. No plum jelly for anyone. foxglovingly
I had a group project I had to do with 4 other people. 3 out of the 4 were great, but there were roles each of us had to fill in the group for the project to work right. The final girl never once participated in the project, so her role was completely empty and it was dragging the rest of us down.
(We couldn't just fill in for her either because she kept her specific instructions to herself)
The other 3 and I did the best we could, but our instructor didn't seem impressed. He had a few questions about how we came to our conclusion and who did what in the group.
The other 3 were trying to keep focus on the roles they filled but the instructor was asking about the role that the one girl skipped out on.
I answered that we didn't have anything from that role because what's her butt didn't come to any of the project sessions. We just did what we could without her.
Until that point, the girl that didn't do shit was standing there acting like she deserved any of the grade we all got.
Once I said something, the other 3 girls confirmed that yes, Becky's butt did 0% of the work. She tried to say she was just really busy but another girl shut her down by saying she saw her at several parties the past couple weeks.
That girl got a 0 and the rest of us got like an 85 or around that number. I felt like a snitch, but forget that girl. Careless_Hellscape
"they need a better seat to view the board."
When you are in trouble at school, it helps that you're related to someone who works for the school district.
I had a math teacher my junior year of high school who was also the cheerleading coach and she worshipped every student who was an athlete. And she hated theatre kids. She would make theatre kids (or basically any non-athlete) trade seats with a student athlete because "they need a better seat to view the board." She basically told us that student athletes' education was more important than ours.
One day, the drama club was planning a field trip the same day of a really big math test. My math teacher was already fully aware of the field trip and said that the theatre kids are allowed to take the test at another time.
Well, the day of the field trip comes, and she pretends she is unaware of the field trip. She called up our drama teacher and threw a tantrum that the theatre kids were missing. We then got in trouble with the drama teacher, and we received a zero on the math test.
I told my aunt (a math teacher, AND the head of the math department for the whole entire school district) about this, and she looked into it. Teacher didn't get fired, but got in trouble. Well, she found out that it was my aunt that reported her, and now she was purposely failing me. I actually had no trouble in math especially since my aunt was tutoring me, and I was doing well, so there was no reason why I was failing except for the fact that the teacher wanted revenge on me for getting her in trouble.
So this time I tell my aunt, but in a different way. I say that my teacher's material is not making sense (which was actually true, she had no idea what she was doing) and my aunt called her up and asked her what she plans on teaching her students. My teacher was caught by surprise and didn't know how to exactly answer my aunt and kept giving bs answers. My aunt then looked into it some more, and confirmed that basically, the teacher had no idea what she was doing. And well, she got fired.
The Fourth Guy....Giphy
In a tech writing class I took there was a group project that saw all students separated into groups of four.
We figured out what sort of assignment we were doing and decided up responsibilities. It became obvious from day one that our forth team member had no interest in contributing and planned to just skate by on whatever grade we got.
Rather than accept that I went straight to the professor, told her what I thought was going on and asked to either be reassigned or even allowed to do the project solo rather than settle for a lesser grade due to one crappy team mate.
She offered a better deal for me to bring back to the two contributing team mates: we do a three man presentation and if our lame duck fourth doesn't have anything to contribute he would be graded singularly.
I tried throughout the duration of the project to get him on board and involved but he blew off every opportunity to contribute.
Presentation day came and the three of us who worked got top marks... then the Professor came up and called out our forth guy in front of the entire class.
"I told you all on day one I don't tolerate free-loaders in my class. <Fourth Guy> contributed nothing to his team's project so he will not receive his team's grade. Provide nothing, get nothing."
He never showed up for another class, but he also never withdrew. The fool ended up with an F in the course. Couple other folks in the class knew him, I learned later that he did this for multiple classes that semester and ended up getting kicked out the next semester. The5Virtues
Being a Newbie....
In one of my first jobs, a colleague who was threatened by me (the new worker, shy, inexperienced, learning little by little, just out of college), was slowly putting ideas in the head of my boss until I get fired.
The day after I was fired there was a meeting with the boss and other important positions in which I had been working hard to make a good impression. I knew who would take all the credit, the lazy bastard who had stabbed me in the back.
It turns out that one of the things that I knew how to do was synchronize the files on my personal computer to an internet cloud, in order to have my files available at home.
I knew that my partner was too lazy and would not thoroughly review the documents, so from the comfort of my home I modified the presentation. Some information here and there, nothing excessive and like the icing on the cake a hidden message after a photograph on the last panel that would only be visible during the presentation:
"Thank you for not paying attention to the erroneous data and not looking at the information that does not match in the least with what I exposed, I'm glad nobody will notice because they are not interested and will not ask any crap.
I would like to have been there, but as far as I knew the whole floor hear the screams of my boss.
I know, it wasn't very mature, but it was satisfying. CiusWarren
Out of Publix.
When I was a little kid, my mom made me hold her hand to cross the street out of Publix (ya know, as parents do). She slipped on a wet spot on the street, screamed "sucker!", and yanked me down with her. Then she had some kind of misfired reflex, and slapped her hand over my face to try to cushion my fall (I guess?). At the time, I thought my mom was randomly trying to assault me or smth right in the damn parking lot. TheWholeOfHell
Growing up my best friend and I got in trouble for cutting up brand new, expensive jeans to make shorts. Her mom was (rightfully) screaming at me, so I said, "what about [her daughter], she asked me to and handed me the scissors?" and got us both grounded so at least we could sit together in her room lol. Lockshala
Had an absolutely terrible boss at a hospital. She had been there for almost 30 years and was almost omnipotent. She was an absolutely horrendous human being in every way shape and form. She liked to pick one person everyday at random that worked with her and pick on them until they cried. She would then fake false feelings about how sorry she was, that she didn't mean to do it, and so on. Our department ran the Toys for Tots drive at our hospital. She insisted that all toys were kept in her office.
It didn't take me long to figure out she was stealing the toys. I took photographic evidence as well as writing down everything I could in the ensuing months about everything she was doing. I knew at this point she knew that I did not like her and that I had pretty much figured out what she was about so she turned her attention to me and made my life miserable. I finally did quit, however, I made it my mission to take her with me. Everyone in the hospital, including the CEO, we're somewhat afraid of her and we're just trying to get her to her 30 years so she could go out naturally.
After I quit I sent photos and all of my written documentation to the CEO of the hospital who I had tried to talk about all of this stuff with before I left but could tell he was not listening. I then wrote if she was not dealt with I was going to notify the local news channels about what I knew was going on with her. Needless to say she was forced to retire immediately upon her 30th anniversary, which was a week away. Ande64
I worked for a corrupt business owner for a business that had a reputation for being bad.
Anyway, I had to work for him because I didn't have another job.
After years of watching him rip off his clients, I finally caught him in the act.
I quit. He threatened to sue me for breach of contract and stealing clients (I hadn't stolen anyone). He went so far as to have papers served on me and my new employer.
I called his attorney and reminded him I knew what boss had done and would love to have the opportunity to ask him a few questions about his billing practices.
Lawyer said he'd call back. Half an hour later, the lawyer told me it was over. SouthernBoundandDown
When I was stationed in Korea my sergeant threatened to tell command I was drinking underage. Fortunately I had pictures of our squad drinking and he was present so I told I would show them to command if he told on me. Careaga57
Chewed Up/Spit Out!
I was rock climbing and this guy who was my belayer for the day was kind of a fool. Well no surprise, this fool spends most of his time flirting with a cute girl who is friendly but seriously not into him. He gets chewed out by our lead for not paying attention, which means he continues to not pay attention as he is incapable of picking up cues. Well, there's me, twenty five feet or so off the ground with my rope slack and feeling my hands slipping because I'm just running out of steam.
Now having told him three times to pick up the slack, I look down and see he's completely ignoring me to chat with this girl again. My mistake was looking down, as I reach to re-adjust my weakening hold and slip. The rope shoots out of his limp, sausage like fingers and I began to fall (I know a properly tied off rope shouldn't do that. I don't know how he f---ed that up too). My only thought is if I'm going to fall, I'll damn well land on him.
Well I did. I landed straight on his cushy body. I was barely injured. He was taken to hospital after having 80 odd kilos land on him from two stories up. I never happened to see him at that rock climbing club again. BlazingBeagle
Labor & Industry....
I once worked for a startup company, and they missed one of my paychecks. It wasn't a gigantic deal to me because they were a bit strapped for cash and we had a big release coming soon, and I was decently paid anyway, so I just said "forget it."
They then fired me two days before release, making it sound like I had been inadequate despite zero indication from them that I was such before that day.
So I made the proper legal arrangements to recoup my missing paycheck and told them I'd be going to Labor & Industry (I had already filed a complaint) because if they were going to fire me after I worked 70 hours a week for over a month to try and meet their deadline, out of nowhere, I sure as heck wasn't going to cut them the slack of an entire paycheck. I got my paycheck, they went out of business because they were corrupt and had been misusing investor funds for years before this unbeknownst to me, and I laughed my way to the bank. minigunman123
When I was in University I did a six month exchange program in Spain. I took 4 classes while I was there and all had an equivalent credit at my university in Canada. I was getting As in all of my classes except one class where I was really struggling and getting a failing grade on an assignment in that class finally broke me. The prof for this class was the worst. It was an intermediate Spanish class and he was marking us like he thought we should all be writing Shakespeare. Not only that but how he told us to complete assignments vs how he marked them would be completely incongruent. He expected us to be doing things that he never taught us and he should not have been expecting in the first place from an intermediate Spanish class.
I realized it wasn't just my problem when the girl from France, whose Spanish was far better than anyone else in the class, started crying one day after she got an assignment back and begging to understand why she was marked so poorly. He just pointed at her assignment like that was the only explanation required and then ignored her after that. There was no way to drop the class or switch into another because of the way it was built into the exchange program so I decided I would start emailing the teacher constantly after he gave us assignments, clarifying every little point, coming back with follow up questions to try and figure out what the heck it was he actually wanted from us, spending way more time on assignments than they deserved. That way if I failed I would have this record showing how hard I was working in the class to bring to administration if I needed to fight it and all the discrepancies between how he provided assignments vs how he marked them.
A couple of days before the final exam teacher evaluation forms came around and I could tell by how long it took all of us to turn them in that I wasn't the only one in the class unloading on this guy. This was his first semester teaching at the university so if his teacher evaluations didn't go well he wouldn't be invited back. If I failed this class then at least that ahole wouldn't be doing this to someone else next semester.
We get our final marks a week later and I've managed to pull a C- out of my butt. Great, just squeaked by. Then with final marks dispersed he's allowed to see his teacher evaluations. He sent an email to the entire class that night and lost his friggin' mind. We're talking sections with all caps, multiple exclamation marks, telling us how stupid we all are and how we don't know what we're talking about. He's the greatest teacher alive and we're all just bad students. Complete meltdown. The next morning I found another email, from the university this time, stating that professor fool is no longer with the university and will not be welcome back again followed by numerous apologies regarding his behavior. I inquired about our grades in light of what happened but I guess they weren't that apologetic because they refused to change them. Go figure. FantasmaEnLaMaquina
"Not a chance, she's royally screwed."Giphy
Current job, previous manager. I was on a team of 2, and when the lady I worked alongside with quit, they decided not to replace her. I have a young child, who as children so often do, gets sick a lot. Being the only person on my team (and the most important role for our office to function since it is literally the first step in all our processes), I had a very hard time whenever I used my PTO with short notice. I had given my manager multiple ways to fix the issue, but she never would hear any of it.
She also was in a remote office so she had 0 clue what I did with my day. She finally sent me a very angry email basically telling me I could not use my PTO for emergencies all the time when my son got sick. I wrote back a long, detailed list of every method I suggested to fix the issue, along with the fact that I was the only person in my position for months, and that our company policy states in bold letters that using PTO because you or your loved one is sick is not only acceptable, but encouraged. My manager responded to my email by stating she would forward my concerns to HR and that I should probably polish up my resume.
But HR was in our office that day. For the first time in 6 months. Great coincidence, right? So I went in, asked if I could speak about an issue concerning my manager, and explained everything as it happened. The HR rep had this look on her face like she was going to murder someone. She asked me to forward the entire email chain to her, which I did. Then she called me back to talk to her. A few people I talked to were aware that the manager and I had issues, and the lead of every team in our office basically told the HR rep that the entire office can't function without me and that I've been doing the work of 3 people for 9 months.
Later that day, my manager sent me a very angry message over email basically saying I was fired and that I was to pack my things immediately for failing to do my job and because I was causing a hostile work environment. I forwarded this to HR rep, and then walked to her office and asked if I should pack my stuff. She looked at me, and in a single, sweet sentence said "Not a chance, she's royally screwed." And that's basically how my manager went from making $80k a year to being fired on a Wednesday with no compensation, no benefits, and no way to collect unemployment. All around a productive day. tysquirt
Back in the 8th.....
When I was in 8th grade, we had to create a presentation on a book we had just read, including a skit from one of the scenes. Here's the best part- we were forced to work in groups. Being an introvert, I hate group work. What I hate even more is when your group mates don't do their work. The day we were assigned the project, we decided to divvy up the slides equally. It was a Google Slides, so we could all contribute to the same document. The class ended, and I had already finished one of my slides. One boy only changed the color of the title, and the other two didn't do anything. Two days later, I had finished all of my slides. Nobody else had done anything. I offered to start the script for the skit since I had finished, and asked for the others to contribute. Nothing. A couple more days passed, I had finished the skit as well, and all of the other slides were still empty.
Finally, the night before the assignment was due came. I had hoped that even a title had been added. The slides were still empty. I finally decided to just finish it myself. I was up until about midnight, and the slides were not the best quality. Finally, presentation day comes. Of course, my group mates felt absolutely no remorse for doing no work. It was our turn to present, and my group mates nominated me to present. I finally decided to show them the consequences of their actions. I told them that we were all to present the slides we were supposed to work on. They obviously didn't know what they were doing and were extremely unprepared. My grade went down, but theirs went down even more. bmay1310
My Grandma lived on a main road in Miami, she had grapefruit tress in her yard that grew HUGE grapefruits. When I was little, my older brothers taught me to roll the grapefruits out into traffic and watch them splat as the cars drove by. They couldn't see where the fruits were coming from because we hid behind the bushes to launch them. It was kinda like reverse frogger; the goal was to get a good splat.
When I was 15, grandma's health was declining, so my family stayed at her house for a couple days to get it cleaned out and ready to sell. I decided it would be fun to take my younger brothers out and show them grapefruit splat. After about 10 minutes of us hurling double digit grapefruits out into traffic, One of us rolled a big, fat grapefruit right in front of a cop car without paying attention. We all ran to the backyard, but when I looked out front, my youngest brother Barry was still out there. Apparently he froze up.
I come walking up hurriedly to the police officers and tried to play it off... "what seems to be the problem, officer?" I asked. "Who are you and where are this boy's parents?" he asked. I replied "I'm his older brother. My parents are at the grocery store, so I'm babysitting until they get back." The cop was super chill and goes "OK, well, your brother was rolling grapefruits out into traffic, so we just stopped to explain to him why that's dangerous." I looked over to Barry and winked to let him know that we were about to be off the hook and I said to the cop "I'm so sorry, I'll make sure to have a talk with him and it won't happen again." Well, Barry misread my wink as a taunt, so he looks up at the cops and goes "HE'S the one who showed us how to do it! He ran away when you stopped. And my dad's not gone, he's inside!"
The cop looks down at me with a huge grin and says "let's go see dad." I proceeded to get a huge butt-kicking for bringing my brothers into something dangerous, then grounded for lying to the cops. jerk-ohjerk-oh
"Wait! Yams is in the corner under the cart!"
In 7th grade my teacher decided to use process drama to teach about the Holocaust. He told us we can hide anywhere in the building and if we successfully evade him looking for us, we will get a bunch of extra credit. Conversely, if we are caught, we will get 5 points for each other classmate we rat out. I hid successfully in the computer class under a spare tv cart that barely fit me.
My soon-to-be-not-friend had chosen poorly in the same room and was easily found. Upon walking out I very clearly remember him yelling, "Wait! Yams is in the corner under the cart!" I can't remember being so mad at someone. Ratted out for a mere 5 points?! I yelled at him and def overreacted. The lesson being a process drama, that was kind of the point... To experience the fear and potential rage at your neighbors for ratting you out.
(For those of you who don't know, this lesson style is to give the student first-hand emotional connection to whichever content you'd like to teach. It's incredibly effective). Yams_Garnett
You're Not Gonna Do It!
My uncle used to own a hardware store in our crappy little town. He wanted to put up a cover between two buildings that he owned but the town council wouldn't let him. They never gave any real reason like, "we need to leave the area uncovered because of XYZ building codes." They just went on a power trip and said, "you're not gonna do it!"
Eventually due to some other power trips my uncle threatened to move his shop a few towns over. Town council went all, "you're not gonna do it!" in a "I dare you" way. So my uncle did just that.
If I remember correctly he paid the most in taxes so all the money the town was getting from him disappeared. Most of his employees were in high school and couldn't drive. When he moved the kids went with him. Since the parents had to drive their kids to their job they decided they would also pick up groceries and other things they needed while they were in the new town. So the cloth shop and grocery store went out out business. Since no one could get what they needed in our small town just about everyone moved.
Now the town is run down and there's barely anything here. My dad said it used to be a nice little town. Now hardly anyone lives here and everything is falling in. My uncle even warned the council, "if I leave I will take this town with me." But they didn't listen. iamliterallyinsane
Cities. Those things we live in.
What city would you never, ever, EVER live in?
These places, while inhabited by a good number of people, aren't exactly the kind of spots you would want to go back to on a repeat visit.
Transformed Into Something Unsettling
"For me, it's Mecca. It's beautiful, but it's just not for an openly gay Western dude like me."
"Same with Tehran."
"Im surprised you think Mecca is beautiful lol. I, along with almost every Muslim I know, hates what has happened to that place. The skyscrapers are extremely ugly (especially that goddam clock tower) and overshadow the beauty of the mosque. Almost all historical sites are gone except for the Kabah. I know they need infrastructure to handle all the people but they did it in the worst way possible."
"Mecca like almost every other Arabian city has turned into places for rich Saudis to show their wealth and almost nothing else."
"Irvington, NJ - My friend told me to run through every red light and not stop at any cost after I dropped her off at her apartment. Her wise words phased me as I stopped at the first red light. 3 seconds later a huge motherf-cker with a crowbar starts heading in my direction. 3 red lights all while screaming toward McCarter Highway."
"The following week my car was stolen while I was attending classes in Newark and they used my car to rob a liquor store in Irvington, NJ. Literally only owned my car for 2 weeks."
"F-ck Irvington, NJ."
The Literal Fast And The Furious
"Cairo, Egypt. 19 million people, 23 million cars, no stoplights. On a 3 lane road, you have 5 lanes of traffic, left shoulder, straddling first white line, middle lane, straddling 2nd white line, and right shoulder! When we visited, our tour guide told us we needed 3 things to drive there…"good brakes, good horns & good nerves!"
Cars are bumper to bumper, and then people are crossing the street in between the cars, walking, in wheelchairs, pushing baby strollers! Then along beside our bus, comes someone riding a donkey! Crazy. Soldiers with machine guns on the street corners, we even had an armed guard on our tour bus."
Then there are some cities, some you might never have visited, which have generated enough discussion and gotten enough publicity to be actively awful in your mind. You don't have to have gone there to know you never want to be there.
A Place To Skip Completely
"Mumbai. Even if I was financially secure, I couldn't stand seeing all the poverty and squalor all the time. It would weigh on me."
"A friend of a friend spent six months riding his motorcycle from London to Chennai. He recorded everything in his journal in excruciating detail except for Mumbai. There was only one sentence about Mumbai. It was about driving around Mumbai. He did everything you could imagine on the way, but decided to skip Mumbai completely."
Not All Of It. Just Some Of It.
"Paris. I used to hate all French people because of my experiences there, and then I met one who explained that there's basically two Frances; Paris and everywhere else, and then we bonded over bad mouthing the place and now my antipathy is more precise."
It's All In The Family
"LA, if you want half quality people, air, and living for double the price and problems, it might be for you"
"I have friends who live in LA, and swear it's awesome. But they actually live in Rancho Palos Verdes, in their parent's mansions."
And then there's cities like these.
Cities so bad an introduction isn't required.
What's Your Excuse?
"The Simpsons summed it up perfectly: "We were born here, what's your excuse?"
"I can laugh at this because I'm from Thunder Bay"
Booze. Sex. Sin. All The Best Family Values.
"Las Vegas. Fun to visit, but not where I'd want to raise my family."
"I think my first realization that people grow up and live in Las Vegas was at 16 or so when watching Criminal Minds and hearing that Spencer Reid grew up there. It was that record scratch moment. Wait, people LIVE IN and raise their babies in the city of sex, sin, and gambling? I felt stupid, of course, upon realizing that all the casino workers and strippers have to live somewhere, and might fall in love, and might marry and have kids."
"And then I had a second life-changing revelation when I realized people probably feel the exact same way about my home city, Miami. I was raised there and lived there for 2 decades. A lot of people have no concept of Miami outside TV and probably think my parents are horrible people who raised me in a den of yachts, Pitbull, cocaine, dirty money, bad boob jobs, and spring breakers. Meanwhile I actually lived in a very normal and boring suburb."
A Slow Decline Over Time
"Gary Indiana. Went through there when heading to O'hare & was not impressed. heard multiple gunshots when driving through."
"So I literally learned about Gary, Indiana from these threads where it always pops up as one of the worst places to live or be. Could you explain why it is so sh-tty?"
"Long story made short, Gary was a good place to live. Nice paying steel industry jobs. That went away. High crime rate, high poverty rate, and empty, falling down buildings everywhere. I used to live in Chicago and would avoid Gary when traveling at all cost."
Each city is different. What works for some might not be what works for others.
However, it does feel like some of these cities need to be at the top of your "Never Visit" list, don't they?
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Sex is fun. Sex is healthy. Sex should be enjoyed and always consensual. But often, sex can be dangerous, especially when you're trying out new things, like a new location.
Who hasn't thought about upping the adrenaline ante when it comes to sexytime? We've all been there. But some ideas really should just stay ideas.
Why break a hip or an arm just to make things a little more saucy? Just try a different room in the house, or the backyard, but bring bug spray.
And some areas in public are safety hazards for a reason.
Redditor u/playfulinvestment01 wanted to know about all the places we need to avoid when it's sexytime, by asking:
What is the worst place you had sex?
I can tell you from experience that airplanes are not a good idea. Don't ask me how I know. A lady never kisses and tells, but highlights are ok. There will never be enough room and the movies are lying.
Like Glue...Melissa Mccarthy Falling GIFGiphy
"I lived in Australia for a bit and our studio had this black pleather couch. It looked exactly like that casting couch meme so we tried it for fun once. My ex sweats a lot even when it's not 40C out, but it was and we stuck to the couch like glue."
"On a hike in a wildlife refuge. We went off the trail to a more remote area. Was all fun and games tell I got stung on the penis. Was after the event had ended when I was briefly exposed, the little moron went right at me. We joke about it regularly, I'd say it comes up monthly. Just out of the blue she will say "hey remember when you got stung on your penis?" Yes, I remember and will never forget."
Up a Tree
"A "treehouse" that was actually a plywood shack on 6' stilts. It was pretty old and the plywood was splintery, so he laid down an old towel for me (you know, like a gentleman.) Also it was too small for me to fit in any direction, so my head stuck out the door. I stared at the sky and just... And that's the story of how I lost my virginity! A close second would be the bed in his semi-abandoned house full of the semi-abandoned hoarded belongings of his mother. But that's a different story."
"Met a girl online and we tried to do it at the park. A cop showed up before we started and told us we had to leave. We went back to our cars which was at a small shopping mall. We went behind the shopping mall and got it on behind a dumpster. It worked out well so we met up there again a week later. Except that time, as we were walking away, a dump truck picked the dumpster to empty the trash. Was hilarious at the time but frightening looking back on it. This was about 10 years ago."
Keyed OffPiano Performing GIFGiphy
"I don't recommend on top of a piano. Very uncomfortable and not at all the experience we envisioned."
Scratchy...Screaming The Voice GIF by NBCGiphy
"Bottom of cliff next to the ocean. Turns out I have an allergic reaction to coral and my back was scratched the hell up from it. It was windy, wet, and itchy. Runner up is a movie theatre."
"In a literal smoke house... lost my virginity with about 50 rings of deer sausage hanging around to dry. My friend and his dad were gone and we were like "this seems like a great place!" At least when I went home I smelled like venison instead of sex."
"I'm not sure if this counts because we didn't get very far. But In a Burger King parking lot… He had a car, so we would park it someplace and hook up in the tiny little two-seater. I was sitting astride him and most of my clothes were off when he froze. I looked over my shoulder and the once abandoned parking lot was abandoned no more. A family of four were just staring at us through the windshield. We didn't know what to do so I just put my shirt back on and we drove away."
"we can hear everything"
"My childhood house had an enclosed porch that was level with my parents' bedroom window (it's hard to explain). You couldn't see into the porch from the window, but if the porch windows were open and the bedroom windows were open you could hear everything from either room."
"So my now husband and I were trying to have sex in that porch, having opened the windows cuz it was hot AH. My parents usually never opened their window and it was past ten, when they usually went to sleep. We weren't trying to be loud, but apparently we were."
"After we were done, I checked my phone and I had 5 missed calls and a text from my mother saying "we can hear everything" and "please at least use a condom". We didn't acknowledge it at the time but my mom got drunk a few years ago and told my aunt the story and said she was worried she was hearing the conception of her grandchild."
Ivy!jerry seinfeld help GIF by HULUGiphy
"After a drunken night on 6th st in Austin, girl and I were walking down red river st, she drags me in this bushy grassy area, we go at it, finish, call an Uber to west campus, continue going at it. The next day, we are super itchy, come to find later it was poison ivy, got it all over our genitals. Fun times. 10/10 would do it again though."
Also, be careful when and if you do it on a bus. You're never fully out of the driver's line of sight. Don't ask me how I know, I just do. Be careful out there but have fun.
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Being a parent is one of the greatest challenges you'll face.
What did your parents do to you that made you promise that you would never do that to your own children?
You won't be in charge of your child forever. At some point, they're going to go out into the larger world, interact with other people, and suddenly all those little tics and quirks they developed at home will start to hamper their social progress.
Never Able To Hit The Pick-Up Time
"They always had me late or last minute to everything. I'll never do that to my kids because, having it done to me, I know it's all the parents fault."
"That feeling, when you are the last kid to be picked up after a school event that they didn't attend, and my teacher asking if I called, and if she said she was on her way, and how far away we lived, and then a big sigh while we continued to wait, in the dark, outside school, after everyone else has gone home, and me just wanting to disappear."
Forcing Them To Miss Out
"I was never allowed to hang out with friends outside of school. I had to go straight home and couldn't stay and hang out or go over to friends houses after school or on weekends. This went well into my senior year of high school. It sucked constantly feeling like I was missing out growing up."
Definition Of Overprotection
"Isolate them from the world."
"Growing up I see now that they wanted to protect me from how sh-tty things were, but now I feel a useless idiot. If I would've known as a kid that I had violent gang-related family, addicts, or that we were on welfare I could've found a desire to do better."
Taking on the care and responsibility of raising another human being to be a smart, compassionate, and well-meaning member of society shouldn't be easy. It should be a challenge.
Downplaying Their Accomplishments
"My parents never thought anything I did was a big deal. I LOVED art class but I remember showing my mom artwork and she'd tell me she could make that herself, ok thanks."
"Ouch, this brought back a painful memory. I always loved to sing but I was shy. I was also bullied and made fun of quite a bit. In highschool I finally joined choir and it helped me come into my own. I won first place awards at State Solo and Ensemble competition, student of the year in choir and even the Directors Award which was the highest honor given. My mom came to none of my performances. Not until Senior Night when I was the only performer singing a solo. I did the cliche song...Memory from the musical Cats. I got a standing ovation!"
"People who would typically refuse to speak to me approached me to tell me that they never would've dreamed I had that big, powerful, voice in me. I was just about floating with happiness and pride when I walked up to my mom and asked her what she thought. Her face twisted like she'd bit a lemon and she wiped out all my good feelings with the words, "Well, it probably isn't a good song for you. You sound like you were ATTEMPTING to sing opera and it's not supposed to sound like that."
Saying They Don't Quite Stack Up
"Compare them to other kids!!"
"This needs to be higher up. It's soooo insidious. Undermines so much about you, engenders the tendency for you to compare yourself to others, makes you needlessly resent the people they compare you to, but most of all, creates a sense that you'll never measure up or be 'good enough', not just for them, but in general."
Unable To Keep Their Minds At Peace
"The amount of anxiety I have/had from money related things is ridiculous. We were never poor, we were broke they just made bad decision after bad decision putting us in a stupid amount of debt"
Perhaps the most important part to remember when raising a child some adults might forget: You are the adult. Deal with your adult matters and let your child be a child. Don't bring them into your petty squabbles or unresolved affairs.
"My parents refused to address issues between my sister and myself. They hate conflict, so it was easier for them to guilt me into doing whatever my sister wanted and then praise me for being "good" than to ever put her in line. Being praised for always giving up what you want can really mess you up."
Lashing Out At The Other
"My parents were divorced since before I can remember. They did not get along very well when I was a kid. There was one weekend in particular where on the way to drop me off my Dad told me "whatever you do, don't end up like your Mother." Get home to Mom, she tells me "whatever you do, don't end up like your Dad." Best advice either of them ever gave me."
Asking The Child To Be The Adult
"They made their problems into problems for the whole family."
"They pulled us into everything. That's not fair to a kid. F-ck, I was straight out asked to fix things between them sometimes. No kid should be even the remotest bit responsible for their parent's relationship or fixing things that are wrong between them. That's f-cked up."
"We all have problems. We're human. No one expects perfection. But if you have a problem with your wife/husband? Don't bring the kid into it. Don't make it the kids' problem. Don't make the pain of the household -- which they're going to feel anyway -- somehow the kid's fault."
Don't want kids? Don't have kids.
Want kids? Be prepared to do everything you can to make sure that child has a supportive, strong upbringing. Don't let the mistakes of the past become the present.
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Animated movies meant for children have been known to sneak in a few dirty jokes here and there. After all, the parents have to sit through the movies with the kids too.
These "Easter eggs" can be found in virtually every movie meant for kids. It may go over our heads when we watch at age 10, but years later when we re-watch to enjoy a bit of nostalgia, we realize just how raunchy the creators were.
It's not just old movies from the 90s or early 2000s, some movies as recent as Frozen 2 have some moments of adult centered levity.
Redditor Pooky135790 wanted to know:
"What are the best adult jokes that are hidden in kids movies?"
These scenes really had us rolling.
Shrek definitely has a few innuendos.
"In Shrek talking about Snow White:"
"'Although she lives with 7 other men, she's not easy.'"
"Gets me every time!"
"The whole Duloc opening scene with the singing puppets. 'Please keep off of the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your…….face.'"
"Also in Shrek: when they get to Farquuad's castle, they note the large size of it, and Shrek asks if Farquuad is compensating for something."
"Kids will think it's a joke about his height."
"Adults will think it's a joke about his other kind of height."Giphy
Cars had plenty of jokes.
"In Cars when the two Miata ladies flash their pop-ups at McQueen"
"I didn't realize for years that that was the connotation."
"Look at that scene again and look at the photographers behind Mia."
"It took me a second but I think the one directly in the middle is zooming in on their posteriors lmfao."
- -Paintlightning mcqueen car GIF by Disney PixarGiphy
"Also the Piston Cup. 'He did what in his cup?!' Funny enough 10 year old me got that and my dad didn't."
Robots had it's fair share of moments.
"In Robots the [father of the] main character and his wife get the parts for their robot child and exclaim, 'Making the baby's the fun part!'"
"Also the old lady bot, Aunt Fanny, has a lot of junk in her trunk."
"There is that one scene from Ratatouille, when Linguini is about to confess about how Remy is in his hat cooking for him, and says 'I... have... a little... tiny...' and right after he says tiny, Collette quickly glances down at his pants. I never even noticed it until someone pointed it out to me because it is pretty subtle and can be easy to miss."
"Seriously the best dick joke in a kid's movie."
"That and the time when the short lil chef guy catches linguini in the pantry and says, 'One can become to familiar with vegetables, you know!'"Giphy
Coco really went there!
"In Coco, everybody laughs when they say Hector died 'choking on chorizo.'"
"'Choking on chorizo' is Mexican slang for sucking d*ck."
"I mean the song Hector sings to his dying friend has the implied, but not spoken, lyrics: 'And her tits they drag on the floor...' (he says 'knuckles' but the guy shouts, 'those aren't the words!')."
What a forgotten gem Monster House was.
"'That's it's uvula!' 'Oh.... So it's a girl house....'"
"Rick and Morty gets a lot of hate around here because of the sh*tty fan base, but Dan Harmon is a genuinely funny writer."
"Could not BELIEVE Dan Harmon was a writer on this 'til I googled Monster House; your point is a good one lol."
Even in Frozen.
"'Foot size doesn't matter' - when Anna from Frozen talks about her fiancé."
"Frozen 2, 'I like you better in leather anyway' when Kristoff dresses up for Anna at the end."
"My boyfriend and roommate and I all watched it and all three of us spat our drinks at that and we all did the 'Did we just hear what we think we heard?' look. Then we laughed for like 10 solid minutes."
Not a movie, but still good.
"There was an episode of Dexter's laboratory where the father kept going on about Dexter's mother's muffin, and saying he only married her for her muffin. The whole episode was filled with innuendo."
"'Your father is a muffin fiend, a muff-o-maniac, just the aroma can make him crazy.' Lol. Had to see it for myself."
"Season 2 ep 18 The Muffin King."
"There was the episode about DeeDee and Dexter having decoder rings! DeeDee says Dexter's club is for big 'I-D-K-S-C' Dexter decodes it, gasps, and says he's gonna tell mom. Lol."Giphy
Children's shows may be for kids entertainment, but they're created by adults. No doubt they're going to slip in a few naughty jokes here and there.
Time to re-watch some old favorites and see what we missed when we were younger.