SPOILERS: Cats are weird. Who knows what goes on inside their mind? Definitely not their owners, who might walk around their house late at night and hear the soft rustle of their cats launching an all-out assault on a loose dryer sheet. However, it's a point of pride for cat owners to finally catch their kitties in the act, doing something weird, so they can take to the internet and share it with people.

Reddit user, u/TakeToTheSkys, wanted the most curious cat stories when they asked:

Cat owners of reddit, whats the weirdest thing your cat has done?

Taste It. Taste It Good.

I have had too many cats over the years, so I'll put one my newest, Dobby the Housecat, here.

He likes to sleep with me, preferably on my legs or snuggled up close to face. He also happens to wake up before I do and tries to wake me up to let me know he has to be fed.

Apparently, I had been sleeping with my mouth open and I woke up to Dobby, his whole front paw in my mouth and he's giving me the most evil of cat glares. I was two hours late for breakfast.


Show Them Who's The Boss


My cat eats the dog's food to assert dominance.


That's A Cat Toy None Of Us Considered

I used to have a cat that had an obsession with chinese food.

The amount of times she trotted along with an egg roll she secured was too numerous for me comfortably admit.


If The Cat Was German It'd Be "Gesundheit!"

Every time I sneeze, my cat comes out from wherever he is and meows at me with concern.

I choose to believe he's meowing "bless you".


When I Want In, I Want In Now

Walked to the end of the driveway, turned around, then ran as fast as he could to the front sliding door, launched himself at the flyscreen and used the momentum in the swinging weight of his body to slide the door completely open and walked on in like the MF boss he was.


I Just Want To See It Hit The Corner

My kitten will wait for me to turn on my computer after work so he can watch my moving background I have, and looks at me when I open chrome or something if hes still watching the background


What A Power Move.

He meows for attention and only stops if I pick him up and carry him around.

I've had to learn the difference between his "I'm hungry" meows and his "I need attention" meows and his "I don't need anything, I'm just messing with you" meows.


A Continuing Trend Of Oddities

I had a few cats over the years.

Cat 1: If you are leaving for a trip she will sit on your suitcase for hours to try and prevent you from leaving.

Cat 2: He clawed a towel and ended up getting all four of his claws stuck in it. Moments later he was wrapped in the towel crying pathetically because he failed to get free.

Cat 3: When I worked evenings he would sit on the couch near the front door waiting for me to come home. As soon as I walked up the porch he would curl up and pretend that he is asleep.


A Lot Of Craziness All At Once

What's the weirdest thing my cat has done? Let's see..... He's jumped into my drop ceiling a few times, once in the middle of the night, while I was sleeping. His favorite thing to do after we refill his water jug is to jump on top of it, and then jump down quickly to make it gurgle.

He doesn't let anyone but me touch his collar. He follows me around the house, while I mow the lawns, going from window to window to window. He figured out how to open the pantry's pocket door by jamming his arm under it, and moving it to the side.

We have a dog food feeder for the cats in the house, and the cat food doesn't work so well, so we have to shake it to get it to fill the bowl. But because we often forget, and some times there's at least a 4 hour period of time when no one is home, he figured out he could take his paw, and drag out enough food to eat. He's not the strangest cat my family has had, but he is the current strangest cat in the house.


Irrational Hatred

She's obsessed with hair ties.

She loves to fling them across the room and chase them. She be sound asleep and the second I take my hair out she's eying the tie up. Sometimes she'll even start batting at the back of my head when the tie is still in my hair.


Love Those Smelly Pits

Late to the party. My cat is obsessed with my fiance's BO.

She will dig at him until she can get her whole head into his armpit when he's sweaty and rub her face all over it before falling asleep like that.


You Deserve To Drown

He dunks his favorite toys in his waterbowl.

One time he dunked a squeaky mouse in it and caused the thing to not stop squeaking until the battery went out.


Strange To Take An Anti-Bread Stance

Well my cat Sarah had a weird phase in her life where she would beat the sh-t out of any bread products we brought into the house.

She wouldn't eat the plastic, she wouldn't eat the bread she would just shred entire loaves while they were still in the packaging. (and she would only do it on bread still in the pack.) We had to start hiding bread if we didn't want it reduced to crumbs. This phase stopped just as suddenly as it started but In all my life I've never seen such a strong hatred for bread.


Sharing Is Caring

She used to love a little Tigger toy. Carried it around all the time.

One day I found it alone with its face in the food bowl. So cute she shared her food.


Fruit Fanatic

Woke up in the middle of the night and went down to get a glass of water. Found my cat Dean sitting on the kitchen table licking a watermelon.

Another time I ate some sort of breakfast involving fresh fruit, including bananas. Left bowl of fruit on table, later returned to find my cat Sinatra sitting there with the banana slice stuck on the middle of his forehead. Idk how it got there, everyone denies placing it there.


Olive You

The first time he found an empty olive can in the recycling bin he smelled it, puffed up and danced around it all spooked. After that we couldn't keep him away from olives.

He always wanted to lick the can or the jar.


Best Question Cat Owners Ask Themselves, "Why?"

Hates any and all love and affection of any kind unless its 3 am.

He will wake me up at 3 am just for pets.

Any other time i get nipped at.





My cat will literally parkour off of my back onto the furniture.

The first time it happened I thought my partner came up behind me and shoved me, but no.


Don't Kink Shame Her!

Took my cat, Lassie, to the vet for her annual checkup. She was high strung, did not like being touched by strangers, and hated the vet.

Knowing this, the vet's assistant held her down firmly while the vet inserted the thermometer. Except Lassie didn't resist. On initial penetration, Lassie relaxed and raised her butt into the thermometer until it was fully inserted.

Then she purred.

The vet looked at me. The assistant looked at me. All I could do was shrug and say, "I have no idea".

Brooke Cagle/Unsplash

Remember way back when the internet wasn't a flaming dumpster fire?

Yeah, us either.

The internet has always been a mess, but it's also always been beautiful.

Keep reading... Show less
Photo by UX Gun on Unsplash

No one wants war.

Keep reading... Show less

So let's talk about how a dog owner on Facebook learned her dog's "adorable" behavior was, in fact, furious masturbation.

Readers, if you know anything about me you know I love a good plot twist and I love chonky puppers.

Yesterday, life combined my two great loves in a hilarious and inappropriate way.

I was mindlessly scrolling through my dog groups on Facebook when a video with a few hundred laugh reacts but almost no comments caught my eye.

The still from the video was a pudgy little Frenchie, so obviously I had to read and watch.

Keep reading... Show less
Photo by Jason Leung on Unsplash

Have you ever fantasized about what it would be like to win the lottery? Having money for the rest of your life, as far as the eye can see, to cover your expenses.

And have you thought about all the things you would buy if you could really afford them? Are they ALL practical things, or are some of them silly?

We always love to fantasize about what life would be like if money were no object. And you are not alone!

Keep reading... Show less