Even though there are literally thousands of published works about how to effectively parent, once you're in the thick of it you'd be surprised how fast all that information goes out the mental window. Fortunately, a solid method for guiding your parent path is remembering the mistakes your parents might have made before you.
Reddit user, u/wetbreadstick, wanted to know:
Give Them Pure EnergyGiphy
Really poor food choices
Same, I was raised on hot pockets and those instant lunch cups.
Every Child Is Their Own Entity
Never blame them for the fears or insecurities of their siblings. It causes deeper insecurities in the children when you do that. If my child is extremely paranoid I should be there to help them not tell my other children it is their fault.
Let Them Mess Up
I'm definitely going to let my kids make mistakes. Growing up my parents always told me "Don't do this because [this will happen]" which in some cases is a fine way of parenting, but if the consequence will have a greater impact on my decision making after said incident than my parents' word, let me do it! It's true what they say... pain is an excellent teacher
Tell then you didn't want them.
My parents never planned on having kids, I was an accident, and they had my sister so that I wouldn't be an only child (I had an older cousin who was and my mom's sister told her that we would be able to keep each other company and they wouldn't have to pay as much attention to us. Dad was a massive asshole, Mom had a ton of mental issues). She told me at a young age that she wanted to get an abortion but my grandma wouldn't let her. They got a lot happier and their marriage improved after my sister and I moved out, but they used to use us as a pawn in their petty games. My dad never came to events because he didn't care about us and my mom blames us for ruining her life, but then puts a ton of pressure on us to be perfect so that maybe he'll start loving us... it was awful and I still can't stand being around my parents.
Party Ovah Here!
Not allow their friends over because kids are too loud..... I now have 5 kids and an open door policy. You want to invite Jack the Ripper over to play, and the 8 kids from next door, and your friends horse? no problem. Everyone is always welcome whenever.
Children Are A Gift, Not A Burden
Repeatedly telling my children how much I sacrificed for them.
My mum gave up her life in Myanmar to come to the UK so that my sisters and I could get a better education. She likes to remind me every time she gets upset (which is often) and though I really do appreciate what she's done for me, I wasn't the one who made that choice. I love her so much but it makes me feel really guilty whenever she reminds me and feel like I disappoint her if I don't do too well in school. I never want my children to feel like they burdened my life so if I ever make a decision like that, I'm keeping it to myself as much as I can.
You Learn And Gather From Their Mistakes
Something that I once said I wouldn't do but have now 180'd on. Dad was military, mom was a paramedic and volunteered a lot. Lots of moving, lots of extended periods of time with only one parent in the house. Swore to myself that I'd get a stable job that had had lots of free time. Although painful as a child, I eventually realized most of the qualities I like about myself were probably thanks in no small part to that type of childhood. No kids yet but I think I'll focus more on being a good example and quality of time spent rather than quantity.
Let It Fit The Crime
Using reasonable punishments and sticking to them. I remember i got in trouble for something as a kid, and my parents took away my PlayStation for 6 months (or so they threatened anyways) i can't remember what i did, but it wasn't that bad. They only stuck to their guns for about two weeks and honestly that didn't teach me all that much.
I really think having a private discussion with your SO before deciding on a punishment (or even in some cases letting them off without one, maybe a warning) is the logical and most beneficial course of action when trying to correct misbehavior. Also insuring clear boundaries helps a lot, too. If it's clear beforehand that missing curfew means you can't go out for a week afterwards, then they can learn more about the consequences of their actions.
Shots Shots Shots Shots Sh-Shots!
My parents refuse to vaccinate me. I'll say now, being unvaccinated hasn't caused me too much trouble, and I hope that trend continues until I'm old enough to get immunized, but if I ever even think of having kids I'm going to make sure that they'll have the security of knowing they won't get polio or the measles.
Always Be Allowed To HelpGiphy
When I was little, when my dad was doing anything out in the yard my brother and I would ask if we could help.
The answer was always "You can help by staying out of the way."
My kids are always allowed to help, and so feel they can contribute, grow a sense of self worth, and an appreciation of group effort.
This has been the hardest thing for me as a parent, but I'm working on it. My four year old wants to help me do absolutely everything, but sometimes I just don't have the time to spend doing something in 30 minutes that should have taken 5. He loves helping with the laundry and dishes though, I'm just leery about cooking.
It's All Important
Minimize anything they pursue.
My mother would absolutely burn down any dream I had as a kid. Singer? Well, that's nice, but it will never happen." Gymnast? "We can't afford that." (But she never went without beer, weed, or smokes.)
I was 12, of course it wasn't gonna happen, but jesus woman, a little support!
Give Them Their Personal Space
Not spy on them cuz I don't like the friends they hang out with. Because of this it made me wanna pick sides and a chose my friends because they liked me for who I was, while my parents wanted me to be something I wasn't.
I feel like most of these (that aren't physical or sexual abuse related) are similar. Maybe our parents generation jus did things this way, it's cool to think we can change this and our children's generation can be better then we are :)
On And On And On
My mom could go on for hours for even small misbehaviors. Somehow, it usually looped around to how I didn't keep my room clean, even though the rest of the house was just as much of a mess or worse.
When I need to have a stern or serious discussion with my kids, I force myself to make my point in five minutes or less. I've even said stuff like, "Look, this is taking way too long, just don't do [disallowed thing] again, okay?"
I also apologize if I yell, as soon as I am emotionally able to after an angry outburst. I don't remember Mom ever doing that.
Stepping Over Your Work
Redo things they've done because it's not the exact way I would have done it.
My mom would re-fold the laundry or remake my bed. Drove me nuts and made me feel like why even bother trying?
I sometimes wonder if I was affected by this same kind of thing. Not exactly the same, but essentially, when I was a kid, my mom would tell me to clean my room and make my bed. I'd do exactly that to the best of my ability, then I'd go get her so she could tell me if I was done. It almost never failed, she'd tell me that my room wasn't clean enough and my bed wasn't made enough. Then I was left to try to figure out what I was missing. I would try straightening things more, then get her again, and she'd tell me the room still wasn't clean enough and the bed not made enough.
I would just feel baffled because I had no idea what more I could do before it was enough. I felt like there was some invisible mess that she could see but somehow I couldn't. I couldn't understand what I was missing and it would never be explained to me exactly what still needed to be straightened up, or what part of my bed still needed to be made.
So now as an adult, in just about any context, I often have this underlying self doubt that I am missing something, somehow, and I can't trust myself to know when I've done enough.
Put The Shoe On The Other Foot
Constantly comparing myself to other people's kids and belittling my own achievements
That's just the equivalent of comparing your parent's wages, house or job with other kid's parents
my parents always did this to me and then got really offended if i tried to do it to them. like if i dared mention a friend going on vacation they'd be super offended at the "comparison" when it wasn't even that. it really sucked :(
Come To Me With Everything
My son hides things from his mom and waits until he can tell me because she won't respond appropriately. He lost a video game, and was lying to her about having lost it, but was so scared that she would find out he was lying. He told me in the car when I picked him up, and I told her I needed to look for something of his that he wanted. All he ended up doing was having it wedged in his game case where he couldn't see it. My six year old was giving himself anxiety because of a stupid Nintendo switch game because his mom would have belittled and spanked him instead of helping look for it. It breaks my heart.
Never Be Afraid To AdmitGiphy
Refuse to admit I was wrong.
The only semblance of an apology I've ever received from my mother was, "I'm sorry you feel that way."
I don't think she's ever actually apologized or taken blame for her actions in my 30-odd conscious years.
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk him about it.
We all know the job interview butterflies.
We sit outside the office or wait for the phone call and our foot taps at rapid speed. We run through some rehearsed answers, but worry that they'll ask a slew of things we never even considered. We try not to sweat too much.
Often, it turns out alright. We may not get the job, but we're respectable, give solid answers, and learn a lot about the place we're trying to get hired.
Other times, however, all of our far-fetched worries seem to come to life.
Curious to hear just how bad an interview can go, Redditor UIGrimsen asked:
"What was your worst job interview?"
Plenty of people had some truly bizarre stories to share. Part of these train wrecks were bad luck, and part were the insane antics of the people giving the interview.
But for us, they're simply hilarious.
"I applied for a job in a Planetarium, the interview was conducted in a big dome."
"Problem was, another part of the Planetarium staff was doing fire alarm tests during the interview. The dome amplified the sound so much, it was deafening. The interview staff acted like nothing was going on. We had to shout so we could hear each other."
"My mom raises chickens … and during COVID one of them got sick (not COVID). She had it inside to feed water hourly to try to nurse it back to life. My mom has to run an errand so I'm in charge of this chicken for the afternoon."
"I was on a phone screening with a candidate for a position in my office and this chicken starts having a seizure and dies on the middle of this phone call. I look over and it's laying almost like it was crucified."
"The candidate heard the commotion and asked if everything was ok … Which I relied 'yeah, the chicken just died.' "
"She withdrew her application the next morning."
"1.) I walked in as the HR lady farted"
"2.) it was a small office with no windows"
"3.) I asked her questions about their employee retention rate that she couldn't answer"
"4.) the fart stayed the duration of the interview"
"5.) I hope the fart got the job, because I didn't want it"
A Very Instructive Moment
"Applied to work at a vet clinic. Veterinarian did the interview while spaying a cat, apparently one of the cleanest and quickest surgeries they do. I fainted."
"Was not offered the job (after I woke up)."
Others shared moments when their excitement was deflated instantly. They encountered such closed-minded interviewers that there was almost no need for discussion.
That Bus Perk
"As an interviewee It was when I applied to a job as a Junior programmer and in 5 minutes the guys goes 'look, I'll be honest, there is no job, you can get an internship, no pay, we offer the bus pass' "
Plains, Trains, and Automobiles Later...
"I took vacation days to interview, bought my own plane ticket, and paid for my own hotel. First thing the interviewer said was, 'I have no intention of hiring you. This is just a courtesy because I knew your brother.' I had 8 more hours left in my interview day. It was painful."
"They ended up offering me the position many weeks down the road because they couldn't fill the position. I politely declined and got a very passive aggressively worded survey to fill out explaining why I passed."
There's a Right Answer??
"Wanted to work at H&M, got interviewed by the worst person ever."
"One question was and I am legit not lying, 'What is your favorite color and why?' "
"I answered 'baby blue because it's calming and not too harsh to the eyes.' My interviewer then said Oooh, sorry! Red is what we were looking for. And then proceeded to show me the exit."
Last, some shared the times they arrived for the interview excited and enthusiastic, but quickly learned how out of their league the position was.
These interviews looked more like brutal interrogations from the FBI than job interviews.
All the Principals
"Fresh out of college, I was looking for my first teaching job. I applied at a small district for an elementary school position."
"I walked in, expecting the principal and a few teachers. Instead I had the superintendent of the district, some high-level admin, and every single elementary school principal in the district. Probably 15 people in all. They peppered me with questions for 45 minutes."
"I had zero experience, just my student teaching. I did not get the job."
Shove Your Masters
"Finished up a masters degree in physics. Got a phone interview and was was told it would be an introductory chat. Was confronted with a technical interview panel (over the phone) of 6 PhDs, 4 of which had graduated from the research group I had just left. We walked through my research project in about 10 minutes."
"Then the pain began... felt like I'd only learned kindergarten physics."
An Extremely Intimidating Position
"Got an interview for a job as a floor manager at a gigantic steel foundry. I have some background in metallurgy so I thought it'd fit. It paid $90k and I was qualified resume-wise. I got there, turned out it was a group interview with three other applicants, to hear the pitch."
"If something messes up, the company loses $100,000 (some shockingly high amount, I don't remember if it was exactly 100k) per hour and it's your sole responsibility to fix it. They said you'd have to be on call 24/7 to handle anything that comes up."
"I got to the solo part out of curiosity and the interviewer they put me with said something to the effect of 'I know this job sounds bad, but actually it's even worse.' I was desperate for a job because I didn't land one straight out of college, but I was glad not to hear back from them after the interview..."
Here's hoping you don't have a job interview scheduled and this just amplified your anxiety 1000%. The nice thing to remember is that these horror stories are few and far between.
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Believe it or not, Canadians don't live in igloos or freeze to death all year round. If you go to Germany, it's highly unlikely that every German you meet will be cold and uninviting. Hop over to the United Kingdom and you're not going to run into tons of people with terrible teeth and bad hygeine.
These are called stereotypes, my friends, and it's best you leave them at the door. People were more than willing to strike down some stereotypes about the countries they know and love after Redditor HelloThere577 asked the online community,
"What are some false stereotypes about your country?"
"When most folks envision Scotland, they think of kilts, whisky, bagpipes, and red hair.
All of those things exist (and are common) here.
People might also imagine verdant hillsides, rocky bluffs, and skies that randomly switch between clear and cloudy.
Once again, that's completely accurate.
However, one stereotype which has absolutely no foundation, in reality, is the assumption that Scotsmen are constantly hunting haggis. In fact, haggis-hunting only takes place in February (which is the season for deosil haggis) and May (which is the season for widdershins haggis). For the rest of the year, the haggis is more or less left alone."
"I am originally from Portugal and moved to the United States. Around 80% of the people that I have met thought Portugal was either in South America, owned by Brazil, or a part of Spain. When I first came here it made me really sad."
"If the wildlife hurts or kills you in Australia, it's generally because you are f***** stupid. You are 10000 times more likely to be injured or killed in a car accident in Australia than by anything in nature."
This is likely very true, but knowing me, I'd probably be easy pickings for one of those huntsman spiders.
"That we end every sentence with "eh" and drink maple syrup by the gallon and have moose and igloos in our backyards."
You mean... you don't?
Just kidding. Canada is lovely––visit sometime. It's a lovely place.
The United States
"That we always have a shotgun at the ready. A shotgun is a home gun where a pistol is your everyday gun. Your revolver is your dress gun, for special occasions. Then of course your assault rifle is for when you're kicking back and cracking open a cold one with the boys."
"Anything related to The Sound of Music."
Probably gets annoying afer a short while. Great movie, though. Still dreaming about a trip to Salzburg.
"A lot of Americans seem to think we're inbred because we're an island. This is dumb, because it's a very big island (10th biggest in the world), and it's not isolated, we've been invaded, invading, and trading with the mainland for thousands of years."
"That we are car thieves. Crime was widespread in Poland in the 90s but today crime (including theft) rate in Poland is low."
"We do gesticulate a lot, but we definitely don't yell like crazy."
It seems Italian Americans are the ones who could learn a thing or two about being more reserved.
"Iceland. We're not some utopian Disneyland filled with quirky superstitious people that all believe in elves."
Remember: The world is an enormous place filled with people from all walks of life, and they don't take too kindly too stereotypes. Expand your horizons by having conversations with as many people as possible. You'd be surprised how quickly your preconceived notions will vanish.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
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Why are people so dumb? Ok, maybe that's harsh. Maybe some of us just speak dumb.
I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt when in conversation, but I'm consistently disappointed.
So I've come to three conclusions... people really don't think before they speak, brain farts are more frequent then we'd like to believe or... people are dumb. And maybe hearing isn't a gift, but a curse.
Redditor u/Away_Television9221 wanted to discuss the things we've heard that made us want to stab our ears repeatedly by asking:
What's the stupidest thing you've ever heard someone say?
I've lost track of the amount of times I've been asked outrageously idiotic questions. I have literally been frozen in disbelief. Sometimes I get asked if I'm having a stroke. I'm not, I'm just paralyzed with shock. Let's see who can relate...
Ask Nemofinding dory GIFGiphy
"How do fish breathe when they are eating cabbage underwater?"
"Coming from the new guy in the class to the bio professor in HS."
"A girl in my class genuinely thought the sun was the size of a basket ball and "the stars" were the size of golf balls. She failed to grasp how heliocentricity worked despite being shown a model and having it explained to her very slowly and deliberately."
"She failed to understand indoor plumbing and seemed to believe that some water just naturally existed in a state of "hot" since she expressed agitation at the tap water being cold and asked if "anyone can refill the hot water or something." She sincerely believed that all cats were female and all dogs were male, no she didn't have an explanation for how they reproduced and implied it happened via divine means despite the fact that she wasn't religious."
"She didn't understand how wages or loans worked and genuinely thought people could just withdraw as much money as they wanted from the ATM and that poor people were just too lazy to go to the ATM. She said something new this dumb every week, these are just some of the more memorable ones. Oh, and she was around 15-16 at the time."
"Was star gazing with a mate one night out camping. He said dead serious (and sober) "do you think there are like, other planets up there floating around in space?" I didn't know how to reply."
In the Bed
"Used to work maintenance for college student housing. Every unit has its own parking directly off the street in front of it. Tenant complains he has 6 yeti coolers stolen. I say "oh no, how terrible. Those clever criminals, however did they break into your home? I never noticed a work order for a broken door or window here?" Tenant: "... uh... they were in my truckbed..."
Deep Breathesbest friends vegan GIF by Mercy For AnimalsGiphy
"Cow is the only animal which not only inhales, but also exhales oxygen."
"--Rekha Arya (Minister of Animal Husbandry, Uttarakhand, India, 2018)"
"Edit: There are quite a lot of dumb comments made by politicians but I chose this one because it is not as problematic yet definitely very stupid."
I don't even know where to begin. I'm again frozen in my shooketh state. How do human beings survive with every breathe we take? It's a miracle we've made it this far. Shall we continue?
SNLScared Saturday Night Live GIF by HULUGiphy
My wife : "What day is Saturday night live on?"
Hot and Cold
"The sun is cold, otherwise the universe would be super hot."
"Relative to the rest of the universe, sure. Relative to other stars, my understanding is that the sun isn't particularly hot (not particularly cold either, I believe it falls somewhere in the middle if you are comparing how hot all stars are.)".
"Had an Australian intern at our Cape Town ZA office a couple of years back. For context, out of the 29 of us working there, all but 4 were African. This lady felt the need to declare (on more than one occasion) that a) she believes poverty in the African continent is due to a lack of faith in God and the widespread practice of voodoo witchcraft and b) that she would never go to a hair salon in CPT because she was concerned about catching HIV. Didn't even blink and I honest to God believe she didn't intend any offence, she was just really that dumb."
"This woman has a master's degree as well as a decade's worth of experience as a social worker at that time. Blew my mind how someone can be that idiotic and so completely unaware how deeply offensive they're being and still manage to get that degree and work that job."
"I don't believe in outer space. If there was outer space all our air would be gone." My new neighbor said this awhile back. I GTFO and have been avoiding him ever since."
And Toes?josh holloway sawyer GIF by The Paley Center for MediaGiphy
"If someone loses their finger, their child will be born without a finger."
I really thought I had heard it all in my days as a waiter, but life never ceases to amaze. I tell you if you really want to hear some nonsense that will follow you forever, work as a waiter for one week. You'll never see people the same way again. I gotta get earplugs.
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Films are a great art form because they rely entirely upon interpretation, but the director can really control the outcome. They are an extremely visual medium in addition to being a storytelling one: so the way a director deals with their movie can really change the tone.
Ever seen Mulholland Drive? The deep existential dread caused by that film is very much a hallmark of David Lynch's style. It rarely makes sense, but you know exactly how you feel after.
Here were some of those answers.
The Sociopath Angle
"Nightcrawler. Not the kind of mindf*ck that the Nolan-ish films induce, but made me warier of the people around me. Jake Gyllenhaal really sold the eerie sociopath."
"Think it's called Buzzsaw or something?"
That Nolan Vibe
"Inception and Shutter Island are my top 2. The departed the first time I saw it, especially since some of the scenes were flashbacks with no indication til certain things happen"
"Watched inception with my cousin in the theater and he walked out halfway because he couldn't understand what was going on. Watched interstellar in the theaters and the dude sitting in front of me walked out while loudly proclaiming the movie made no sense. Watched tenet at home and I'm still confused."
Neon Genesis Huh?
"Lots of people seem to have their own interpretations on what exactly the f**k happens in the end of evangelion."
"My personal idea is that the ending of the show (strange dream hallucinations and congratulations) is what Shinji is seeing as he's melding with the rest of humanity in the tang, and he agrees to be melded forever."
"In the movie, I believe Shinji begins to meld, but ultimately chooses to NOT become tang with the rest of the world, and is released...with Asuka for...some reason <_<"
"The rebuild movies start the same as the series but VEER COMPLETELY OFF TRACK around the middle of the second movie, and are just as confusing as the originals were :/"
These are the kind of movies that will leave you so dumbfounded at the end that you will never really recover.
Horror In Broad Daylight
"Midsommar. By far the creepiest horror movie I've seen because it felt so real and different."
"I really love this movie. It's creepy but beautiful at the same time. And there's so many little hints and details shown throughout that add extra depth to the story."
The Ending To End All Endings
"Ex Machina. The way it ended just stayed with me for days."
"The creator was right all along, he wasn't a nice guy by any stretch but he called it from the start, very good film."
The Twins And Clones Thing Is Quite Confusing
"The Prestige. Magician couldn't figure out how antagonist does magic trick so he gets Tesla to create him a teleportation machine but instead it doesn't work."
"He finds out it duplicates items instead so he re creates the antagonists trick but every time he does, he dies and another version of him is created."
"At the end it was revealed how the antagonist did his trick. He had a twin. They took turns and carefully lived the same life, one at a time while the other is in hiding. So each time the trick was done, the twin came out and the other stayed in the box."
Strange And Outlandish
"Tenet. I was lost at the beginning. Final battle scene reminded me of training except backwards and forwards."
"I just cracked up laughing in the theater so hard people were turning to see if I was choking to death on a popcorn kernel or something."
Sometimes not making sense in a movie really is not a good thing.
Existential Dread As Told By Donnie Darko
"Great film! Been awhile for me but as I remember Donnie Darko was stuck in a tangent universe. At the point you see in the film he had been stuck in the cycle of the universe ending and resetting for quite some time."
"You know this when Frank tells Donnie in the theater that he should know by now what is going on. (that proves this was not Donnie's first attempt to escape the universe) So the very first time he would appear in this universe there would be no frank and no help."
"As he repeatly fails he also moves closer to success by the other people trying to help him do what he needs to."
"Take for example the teacher seating Gretchen next to him (that was a deliberate but almost unconscious move by the teacher to help him further things along)."
"Eventually with enough time and help he is finally able to get Frank killed. This now allows Frank to return next cycle as a spirit that can guide him better to freeing himself and everyone else from the universe."
"Of course this is not a perfect theory as Frank woke Donnie in the first place which saved his life but I think it is more of a paradox issue of time traveling than anything else. There is so much more to the film but the director's cut helps explain most of the story"
The Worst Kind Of Unsettled
"Aguirre, the Wrath of God"
"Not because it was confusing, but because watching it felt like going slowly insane over 90 minutes."
"Klaus Kinski was an absolute monster of a human being, but an absolutely mesmerising screen presence. He draws you into his madness and leaves you feeling shattered at the end."
Von Trier Headache
"Melancholia. I love Lars Von Trier's work and love his artistic his movies generally are. I love all of the Depression Trilogy."
"But even Antichrist didn't mindf**k me as much as Melancholia."
"There's something just so so strange about that movie. It's just so depressing, in a hopelessness kind of way. It's something I've never felt watching any other movie."
These films are meant to be seen and to make you feel a little stressed out and crazy.
Be warned should you go into watching them, though--these are not fun ways to pass the time. They will take brain power to focus on, and they will take up your emotional energy.