Even though there are literally thousands of published works about how to effectively parent, once you're in the thick of it you'd be surprised how fast all that information goes out the mental window. Fortunately, a solid method for guiding your parent path is remembering the mistakes your parents might have made before you.
Reddit user, u/wetbreadstick, wanted to know:
What is something that your parents did that you swore never to repeat to your own kids?
Give Them Pure Energy
Really poor food choices
Same, I was raised on hot pockets and those instant lunch cups.
Every Child Is Their Own Entity
Never blame them for the fears or insecurities of their siblings. It causes deeper insecurities in the children when you do that. If my child is extremely paranoid I should be there to help them not tell my other children it is their fault.
Let Them Mess Up
I'm definitely going to let my kids make mistakes. Growing up my parents always told me "Don't do this because [this will happen]" which in some cases is a fine way of parenting, but if the consequence will have a greater impact on my decision making after said incident than my parents' word, let me do it! It's true what they say... pain is an excellent teacher
Tell then you didn't want them.
My parents never planned on having kids, I was an accident, and they had my sister so that I wouldn't be an only child (I had an older cousin who was and my mom's sister told her that we would be able to keep each other company and they wouldn't have to pay as much attention to us. Dad was a massive asshole, Mom had a ton of mental issues). She told me at a young age that she wanted to get an abortion but my grandma wouldn't let her. They got a lot happier and their marriage improved after my sister and I moved out, but they used to use us as a pawn in their petty games. My dad never came to events because he didn't care about us and my mom blames us for ruining her life, but then puts a ton of pressure on us to be perfect so that maybe he'll start loving us... it was awful and I still can't stand being around my parents.
Party Ovah Here!
Not allow their friends over because kids are too loud..... I now have 5 kids and an open door policy. You want to invite Jack the Ripper over to play, and the 8 kids from next door, and your friends horse? no problem. Everyone is always welcome whenever.
Children Are A Gift, Not A Burden
Repeatedly telling my children how much I sacrificed for them.
My mum gave up her life in Myanmar to come to the UK so that my sisters and I could get a better education. She likes to remind me every time she gets upset (which is often) and though I really do appreciate what she's done for me, I wasn't the one who made that choice. I love her so much but it makes me feel really guilty whenever she reminds me and feel like I disappoint her if I don't do too well in school. I never want my children to feel like they burdened my life so if I ever make a decision like that, I'm keeping it to myself as much as I can.
You Learn And Gather From Their Mistakes
Something that I once said I wouldn't do but have now 180'd on. Dad was military, mom was a paramedic and volunteered a lot. Lots of moving, lots of extended periods of time with only one parent in the house. Swore to myself that I'd get a stable job that had had lots of free time. Although painful as a child, I eventually realized most of the qualities I like about myself were probably thanks in no small part to that type of childhood. No kids yet but I think I'll focus more on being a good example and quality of time spent rather than quantity.
Let It Fit The Crime
Using reasonable punishments and sticking to them. I remember i got in trouble for something as a kid, and my parents took away my PlayStation for 6 months (or so they threatened anyways) i can't remember what i did, but it wasn't that bad. They only stuck to their guns for about two weeks and honestly that didn't teach me all that much.
I really think having a private discussion with your SO before deciding on a punishment (or even in some cases letting them off without one, maybe a warning) is the logical and most beneficial course of action when trying to correct misbehavior. Also insuring clear boundaries helps a lot, too. If it's clear beforehand that missing curfew means you can't go out for a week afterwards, then they can learn more about the consequences of their actions.
Shots Shots Shots Shots Sh-Shots!
My parents refuse to vaccinate me. I'll say now, being unvaccinated hasn't caused me too much trouble, and I hope that trend continues until I'm old enough to get immunized, but if I ever even think of having kids I'm going to make sure that they'll have the security of knowing they won't get polio or the measles.
Always Be Allowed To Help
When I was little, when my dad was doing anything out in the yard my brother and I would ask if we could help.
The answer was always "You can help by staying out of the way."
My kids are always allowed to help, and so feel they can contribute, grow a sense of self worth, and an appreciation of group effort.
This has been the hardest thing for me as a parent, but I'm working on it. My four year old wants to help me do absolutely everything, but sometimes I just don't have the time to spend doing something in 30 minutes that should have taken 5. He loves helping with the laundry and dishes though, I'm just leery about cooking.
It's All Important
Minimize anything they pursue.
My mother would absolutely burn down any dream I had as a kid. Singer? Well, that's nice, but it will never happen." Gymnast? "We can't afford that." (But she never went without beer, weed, or smokes.)
I was 12, of course it wasn't gonna happen, but jesus woman, a little support!
Give Them Their Personal Space
Not spy on them cuz I don't like the friends they hang out with. Because of this it made me wanna pick sides and a chose my friends because they liked me for who I was, while my parents wanted me to be something I wasn't.
I feel like most of these (that aren't physical or sexual abuse related) are similar. Maybe our parents generation jus did things this way, it's cool to think we can change this and our children's generation can be better then we are :)
On And On And On
Lecture.
My mom could go on for hours for even small misbehaviors. Somehow, it usually looped around to how I didn't keep my room clean, even though the rest of the house was just as much of a mess or worse.
When I need to have a stern or serious discussion with my kids, I force myself to make my point in five minutes or less. I've even said stuff like, "Look, this is taking way too long, just don't do [disallowed thing] again, okay?"
I also apologize if I yell, as soon as I am emotionally able to after an angry outburst. I don't remember Mom ever doing that.
Stepping Over Your Work
Redo things they've done because it's not the exact way I would have done it.
My mom would re-fold the laundry or remake my bed. Drove me nuts and made me feel like why even bother trying?
I sometimes wonder if I was affected by this same kind of thing. Not exactly the same, but essentially, when I was a kid, my mom would tell me to clean my room and make my bed. I'd do exactly that to the best of my ability, then I'd go get her so she could tell me if I was done. It almost never failed, she'd tell me that my room wasn't clean enough and my bed wasn't made enough. Then I was left to try to figure out what I was missing. I would try straightening things more, then get her again, and she'd tell me the room still wasn't clean enough and the bed not made enough.
I would just feel baffled because I had no idea what more I could do before it was enough. I felt like there was some invisible mess that she could see but somehow I couldn't. I couldn't understand what I was missing and it would never be explained to me exactly what still needed to be straightened up, or what part of my bed still needed to be made.
So now as an adult, in just about any context, I often have this underlying self doubt that I am missing something, somehow, and I can't trust myself to know when I've done enough.
Put The Shoe On The Other Foot
Constantly comparing myself to other people's kids and belittling my own achievements
That's just the equivalent of comparing your parent's wages, house or job with other kid's parents
my parents always did this to me and then got really offended if i tried to do it to them. like if i dared mention a friend going on vacation they'd be super offended at the "comparison" when it wasn't even that. it really sucked :(
Come To Me With Everything
Be unapproachable.
Come talk to me any time about anything. Everything can be fixed.
My son hides things from his mom and waits until he can tell me because she won't respond appropriately. He lost a video game, and was lying to her about having lost it, but was so scared that she would find out he was lying. He told me in the car when I picked him up, and I told her I needed to look for something of his that he wanted. All he ended up doing was having it wedged in his game case where he couldn't see it. My six year old was giving himself anxiety because of a stupid Nintendo switch game because his mom would have belittled and spanked him instead of helping look for it. It breaks my heart.
Never Be Afraid To Admit
Refuse to admit I was wrong.
The only semblance of an apology I've ever received from my mother was, "I'm sorry you feel that way."
I don't think she's ever actually apologized or taken blame for her actions in my 30-odd conscious years.
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk him about it.
It's highly believed that it is important to learn history as a means to improve our future.
What is often overlooked is that what is taught in history class is going to be very different depending on where you went to school.
And this isn't just internationally, even different regions of the United states will likely have very different lessons on American history.
This frequently results in our learning fascinating, heartbreaking and horrifying historical facts which our middle or high school history teachers neglected to teach us.
Redditor Acherontia_atropos91 was curious to learn things people either wished they had learned, or believe they should have learned, in their school history class, leading them to ask:
What isn’t taught in history class but should be?
The Irish Troubles
"The troubles."
"Too many people in America do not understand why a wall straight through Ireland would be a BAD idea."
"I’m referring to the Brexit referendum and possible outcomes."
"If people were wondering why we were talking about walls through Ireland in the first place."- CLCVS.
Forgotten elements of World War II
"What the Japanese did to the Chinese during WW2."
"Unit 731."- CaptainMcBoogerJew.
"Japan gets off easy for their war crimes in WW2."
"They killed an estimated 16mil Chinese civilians and another 8mil soldiers"
"Also, Pol Pot."
"Didn't know who he was until I was like 25."
"Worst dictator all time (in terms of percentage of population he decimated)".
The truth about the American Revolution
"That the American Revolution was part of a wider cold war type of conflict with France."
"The American Revolution was basically the UK's equivalent of the US version of Vietnam."- vinsant7.
The Dark side of Swedish history.
"As a Swede, I'd like to know more of all the horrible sh*t my country has done throughout history."
"It's a damn shame we're trying to hide our history."
"For example, Swedes killed a metric sh*t ton of all Polish people when we were at our strongest."
"That's the kinda sh*t we don't get to learn."- mogwandayy.
Colonization
"Basically what Belgium did to the Congo."
"A lot of people are telling me that they are taught about this actually."
"I'm glad to hear it because I wasn't taught about this in the USA during my public school days (1995-2008)."- EconArch.
The truth about "heroes".
"While teaching about historical Heroes they should also tell students about the unspeakable things some of them did."
"Many famous figures throughout history who are pillars of morality actually did many terrible things." - User Deleted
Intolerance for Mental Illness
"The dark history of mental illness treatments."
"I think it's worth learning about."- 7dayexcerpt.
Slavic Mythology
"Slavic mythology in Slavic countries."
"Don't get me wrong, I love both Greek & Roman mythology and as a person from the Balkans both of those cultures are part of my country's history and had great influence over not only my region but the entirety of the continent & the western world but I wouldn't mind knowing more about Slavic mythology as well."- ShorsShezzarine.
The truth about the CIA
"How the CIA was made and all the shady things they did over the years."- ALargeChip.
There is a lot about the history of our world, not to mention our own country which shouldn't be ignored.
And it's from learning from our mistakes that we really improve our future.
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So apparently we are in the endemic phase of this nonsense.
We have light at the end of the tunnel.
So what now?
Where do we go from here?
Normal seems like an outdated word.
How do we get back to normal though?
Is it even possible?
What are reaching back to?
Life pre-Covid.
Those were the days.
If only we could bring them back.
Redditor hetravelingsong wanted to discuss our new normal in this hopeful "endemic" phase. So they asked:
"What’s something random you miss about pre-COVID times?"
I miss people being sane. Though that maybe election cycle issues not COVID. We'll never know.
I thought I was Alone...
"Being able to grocery shop after 11 pm."
Reading_Rainboner
"Hell yes. I miss the days where the Walmart across the street was open 24 hours."
Small_Tax_9432
let's just go...
"I miss spontaneity... everything now seems to have a barrier of difficulty."
iidosee
"I live very close to Disneyland so I have an annual pass. My friends and I would just go there after work and hang out and grab a bite to eat."
"Now, we have to reserve a day to go. And most of the time, the days are at 'full' capacity so we couldn't even reserve. I don't want to schedule to hang out at Disneyland for a couple hours for July. So yeah, I definitely miss the 'lets go eat at Disneyland tonight?' texts."
mymymissmai
Not til 24-25
"Functioning global supply chains. Ah, the product you want has got microchips in it? 9 month wait."
richard-king
"Minimum, I'd been saying for a while now that I wouldn't expect a true return to normalcy in terms of electronics prices till 2024-2025. Although Crypto crashing through the floor really took some of the pressure off graphics cards which I really appreciate."
statiiic
WTF?!?!
"How affordable everything was!"
Disastrous_Hour_6776
"Yep. Today I was bagging up my things at the grocery store and I heard the cashier say to the lady behind me 'thats $78.12.' She had -- 2 boxes of Kellogg's corn flakes, a carton of 12 eggs, milk, strawberries, raspberries, blue berries, a small cheese cake, English muffins, coffee, and a small whole frozen chicken that could maybe feed 3 people if the meat portioning was small."
SnowyInuk
Sushi
"My favorite sushi place. It was good quality, close by, kid-friendly, and not too expensive."
InannasPocket
All of this... it was a simpler time.
NASTY
"As a retail worker, just how f**king NASTY some people have gotten."
DmitriPetrov*itch
"They applauded you for being an essential worker but won’t vote for policies that’ll raise minimum wage while insisting a wage cap for heavily paid employees."
sketchysketchist
CHANGES your DNA...
"Some of the people closest to me became very bitter and petty over the last 2 years. So many people have the 'crazy eyes' now."
__--__7
"So true and holidays with the family is like who has the biggest tinfoil hat building contest. How many jumps does your brain have to go through to think that the Covid vaccine CHANGES your DNA into the patented DNA so that the government now controls your body."
"So like vaccinated people now have a singular DNA set. I feel like I still have a chunk of my brain just broken off due to that comment alone. I was also told by same family member that I could never donate blood again due to the vaccine. I guess it is so my patented DNA doesn't affect people?? FYI my vaccinated butt just donated today fine and multiple other times after the vaccine."
tyreka13
Homeward Bound
"House prices."
adrianinked
"I'm resigned to never thinking I have a chance on owning property where I live. I'm 30 and just can't imagine it anymore. And I don't want to live anywhere else so, whatever."
Osdab2daf
"That didn’t happen because of the pandemic. That was already happening regardless."
CH11DW
Oh Mickey
"All Day Breakfast at McDonalds."
hutch2522
"It was honestly hell to do, and not very popular. ITs margins aren't anywhere dinner and lunch specials. ON top of that, the temperatures are such that They require its own grill, meaning that if you have 2 grills in shop, you are down 50% of lunch capacity."
Freyas_Follower
Way back when...
"Hanging out with friends. And I mean waaaaaay before Covid. Like 2006 back when I had some friends."
LoocsinatasYT
I miss the old days. Maybe we'll get back there.
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What do you believe?
Is there a GOD in the sky?
Is he guiding us and helping us?
Life is really hard. Why is that is a big entity is up there loving us?
Atheists have taken a lot of heat for what feels like shunning GOD.
What if they've been right all along?
Maybe let's take a listen and see what they really think.
Redditor __Jacob______ wanted to hear from the people who don't really believe all that "God" stuff. They asked:
"Atheists, what do you believe in?"
I'm waffling between G-O-D and nothing. So please give me some education.
911
"We need to look out for each other because help isn't coming."
cknipe
Peace Out
"More than 2 decades ago, a priest was giving a sermon in my church and he said 'our faith requires you to believe without question. Why call it faith if you have to ask questions?' I haven't returned to church. Not until my wedding day but you know what I mean."
asiangontear
Delusion
"When I was young I used to think that after death you would have access to a PC that you could see absolutely anything about your life. Stats, any question you had no matter how obscure, replays of moments, perspectives of others in relation to you. No matter what you wanted to know, if it was relatable to you, you could see it. I know it's silly, but as time goes on I just want it to be real, and I don't think I'd have any issue allowing myself to fall into that delusion."
eggwardpenisglands
I think nothing happens...
"Realistically, I think nothing happens. We literally experience nothing after death. Same thing that we experience before birth. We don't exist, so it's nothing. I think the tenant that we should follow while living is to try to be happy and healthy while minimizing the damage we do to each other."
"What I would LIKE to happen after death is whatever you believe in, exists. I think Christians should get to go to heaven if they truly believe in it, Hindus and Buddhists get reincarnated, and everyone else also gets to experience what they believe they will experience."
"'I would still experience Nothing. Maybe it's one of those things where at the moment of death their brain makes them experience what feels like an infinitely long moment in time where they experience their afterlife. I just think it would be neat for everybody."
Better_Meat_
Shrug
"Best advice I received from a dear senior on their way out. 'You win some, you lose some' shrug. Nothing divine, life is that simple and wonderful, accept it and move on."
Tune_Kindly
It all sounds pretty simple. Why are people so up in arms about Atheists?
Whatever
"I believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people that do."
imCIK
Cool with Empty
"Nothing. [Serious]."
rumblingtummy29
"I feel this way about death. When I was 5, my grandfather died and my cousin simple said, he is dead, that means you are gone forever. Everything ends up dying, even plants and animals. I'm now in my 40's and still have this simplistic view of life and death. People think I'm ambivalent to life and death but it's just what it is."
thepigfish82
puppet-masters...
"I think a lot of religious people struggle with the fact that we are all just swirling units of chaos. There is no grand plan or great orchestrator. I think that’s why people who are prone to religion are also susceptible to things like Q anon and the Cabal and all that. They REALLY want to believe that there is some almighty puppet-master who determines all of humanity’s fate."
Lngtmelrker
“we’re living in a society!”
"Just be a kind and empathetic person not because you’re worried about some cosmic justice, but because it’s the right thing to do. If there is some being that created us there’s no way they actually care about believing in it or adhering to some rules from over 2000 years ago."
"Also a big thing for me is that I find the idea that you need religion or the Bible in order to have morals and ethics pretty dumb. It’s pretty f**king clear that most evangelicals have neither. But my main thing is being a good person simply because, as George Costanza once said we’re living in a society!' If you’re only a good person in order to make it to heaven you probably aren’t actually a good and moral person."
conservative_genius
That's All
"You're born. You live. You die. That's it. After you die you cease to exist, the same as before you were born."
serefina
Believe what you want. We're all here together. So let's focus there.
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The list of what irritates me is endless.
I mean... breathing too loud or dust can set me off.
I'm a bit unstable, yes.
But I'm not alone.
So let's discuss.
Redditor Aburntbagel6 wanted to hear about all the times many of us just couldn't control our disdain. They asked:
"What never fails to piss you off?"
I feel like this article can go on forever. Let's get some highlights.
Wasted Time
"Meetings that could and should have been an email."
Sirena609
Lotto People
"Getting stuck behind people playing the lottery at a corner store."
thenuggetlover
"I also used to work in a gas station and you’re SO right. I f**king hated the lottery people. Especially since my store had a small staff and there was usually only one of us working at a time, which meant that I couldn’t get any of my other work done as long as they were there."
"And you’re right, it’s also pretty sad to watch. I had one lady who used to come in every day and spent hundreds and HUNDREDS of dollars on scratch tickets. One day, she won $200 after spending probably around $600 and she was so excited and saying she can 'finally pay her bills.'"
i-am-your-god-now
Aware...
"No situational awareness. Job, home, shopping, driving. Think for one minute and go about. OBSERVE!!"
Dizzy-Foundation8122
"My mom is one of those people who leave the shopping cart in the middle of the damn aisle and proceed to walk twenty feet away. After correcting her a million times to no effect I just walk away now so people don’t know I’m with her."
OutrageousEvent
Shut Up!
"Endless barking in the middle of the night, I love animals but that sh*t I can't stand."
Acceptable-Lemon2924
"Endless barking in general drives me up a wall. One of my friends dogs was barking almost an entire gaming session the other day. I wanted to reach through the computer and smack him for letting it go on."
bangersnmash13
Kindness
"People being mean to service workers, especially if the workers are very young."'
scaryboilednoodles
All of these things. I hate them all.
Admit It
"People who never accept fault when they mess something up. Like, why blame a million people when it was clearly you who did it???"
Quirky-Area-8978
From Above
"My upstairs neighbors."
lutzow89
"I had terrible neighbors at my previous apartment. It was a one person studio for students, but her boyfriend was clearly living with her illegally and he was loud."
"One night we knocked n the door at 3 AM because of the loud music and an unknown girl opened the door. I just thought they were having a little party. But the next door I saw the girl living there come home with a suitcase after having been away for the weekend... Her BF was cheating on her in her own apartment."
Th3_Accountant
Move Away
"People who sit directly next to me at the airport, movie theater, any other place where you can choose a seat when there is PLENTY of other seating."
BacardiPardy33
"I can’t YES this enough and the ones who can’t park for crap so they park so close you can’t open doors on one side of the car or the ones who park directly behind when you pulled through so the door won’t open to load groceries."
BacardiPardy33
It's Over
"People who try to restart old drama. Like I'm done with you, just leave me alone."
Tired_Potatos
"Yep, half the reason I've basically quit playing one of my favorite online video games. People keep bringing old crap up or sh*tting on on someone who used to be our friend. I got tired of it so I just ejected the game out of me."
CaucasianHumus
AHHHHH!!!
"People walking too slow in front of me with no way to get around them. It’s even worse if it’s a couple or group taking up the whole sidewalk. HAVE SOME SPATIAL AWARENESS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!"
_-v0x-_
Life in general pisses me off. I'm easy.
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