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People Reveal The Dumbest Way They Have Ever Injured Themselves

Sometimes walking and talking can be hazardous to one's health. Heck, just walking and breathing can be a detriment. We're not always on guard from injury 24/7, how can we be? Danger lurks around every corner. Some of us are just prone to falling down and causing a spectacle. The world is full of so many lovely distractions. I'm not able to see every step or car or person. I'm too busy updating my romance app. Hello.

Redditor u/itsoscilatingagain wanted everyone to fess to those moments that are shameful and oh so hilarious by asking.... What is the dumbest way you injured yourself?


Rinse. Lather. Repeat.

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Dropped a bottle of shampoo in the shower, bent over to get it, sneezed, slipped and gave myself a concussion. JimmyL2014

I did something similar when I was 10. Bent over in the shower, hit my head on the door handle on my way up. Knocked myself out and I fell through the glass door. Not my finest moment. CassyOoo

Not the Face. Never the Face! 

Assumed a stapler was empty because I saw someone attempt to use it, then they put it back (it was jammed) tried to trick my mate into thinking i was gonna staple my face... miraculously un-jams and to a group of people it looks like I just felt like stapling my face. vipervsrabbit

Swing Low! 

The only black eye I've ever had... I gave to myself while playing wii boxing. Won the game though! oogilyboogilytoo

I accidentally punched myself in the face/nose 2 weeks after a nose job, barely 4 days after I got the splint off. That was fun. eventhestarsburn

Broken Limbs....

I forgot that I had legs, so I slammed the car door while my leg was between. eipeif

I've posted this somewhere else, but when I was a kid I had the habit of closing doors on my arms and/or legs. So one day, I was super focused on ya know... not doing that, so I was paying a lot of attention to the location of my limbs. In the process of doing this, I forgot about this other really important thing - my head. Slammed my head in the door. Real slick. cloud_brick

Eyelid Fail!

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My eye was cold so I put a big round Christmas light that had been on for awhile on my eyelid and burnt my eyelid. My step sister was the only one who watched it play out and just said from across the room, "Um what the f**k!" blackmidianxiety

The car is like a coffin! 

Slammed my finger in the top of the door to my jeep. I was stuck and I couldn't pull it out, had locked the door, and dropped my keys at the same time. It was really hurting. I was just able to reach my keys and unlock the door. It hurt so bad. Nail turned black and blue and eventually fell off. eac555

Leave the Stick... you're not a dog! 

I found a big stick in a field and threw it like a javelin. I didn't think about the fact that it was L shaped so it hit me in the back of the head and I fell over. leest

I was pushing on a dead tree with a quad to try and knock it down for firewood and a branch broke off, skimmed my head, and tore my ear. That was a fun thing to explain at the ER. Rust_Dawg

Golf ids Risky! 

Watched my grandfather cut open a golf ball to show me what the core looked like. After he did it, 7-year old Ricky decided to replicate the feat.

Some Key differences:

1: he put it in a vise. I used my soft fingertips.

2: he used a power saw of some kind (I don't remember, I was 8). I had my dad's handsaw.

Needless to say, the shape of the golf ball and my inexperience with tools led to more blood than I had ever seen in my short life. RistaRicky

Beware the blade.... any blade! 

I was using a butter knife to scrape excess wax out of a little glass Christmas candle. The glass shattered. The knife went right into my palm. Blood everywhere. Yep, I stabbed myself with a butter knife. larebareblog

I cut my top thumb tendon via knife stab. They had to cut the wound bigger so they could reach the ends of the tendon. I remember that you could see the shape my tendon through my thumb skin because it got fatter due to the fact that it wasn't stretched out anymore. Like how a rubber band gets thinner when you stretch it. Anywho, pretty traumatizing but I do have a cool lightening bolt shaped scar now. _Mynameis_JUDGE_

A pop is never good....

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My dad tore his ACL putting on a sock. Was sitting on the bed, went to cross his legs to put the sock on, ACL just popped. tcguy71

See, this is what happens when you don't warm up first!! Licensedpterodactyl

Oil is a Weapon.....

I heated up my pan of oil and lazily plopped my steak in my cast iron pan. Sprayed hot oil all over my face. Thank God I have glasses, had some splotches right where my eyeball would be.

WHAT an Idiot I was right then. TabascohFiascoh

I Believe I can Fly!!

When I was 8 I was swinging on a swing and I had an idea to jump off it. I jumped too late, flew 2 meters in the air and landed on my right arm. I couldn't move this arm for a week. M1ODEK

My twin bro and I used to jump out of swings all the time! One time, we built sand castles to use as targets. The sand on our hands made it much harder to grip the chains. Twin Bro ended up falling backwards out of a swing, landing on his wrist, and breaking it.

We were then prohibited from jumping out of swings, which just meant we couldn't do it when Mom was around and we had to use other excuses to explain any injuries (usually scraped knees, because shorts). insertcaffeine

Getting Raked....

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Trod on a rake cartoon-style, so it stood up and hit me in the face. Twice. The same day. SpoonhorseNice

! I did this with a shovel, just once though. Got whammed in the face with the handle while climbing out of a ditch. ChipsAndTapatio

My sister did this to a pitchfork, she still has a scar on the top of her foot. I don't know how it happened. Trey5169

Don't use just anything! 

I was around 11/12 years old. I was in the "I wonder what stuff I can use to assist in jerking off" stage. So I was taking a shower and I see the different lotions and such so I figure I give it the old college try. So I take some shampoo and I start using that. It didn't work that well. "Oh well" I thought. Finished my shower and got out.

The next morning I wake up and go to the bathroom. OUCH. All the skin on my penis was BURNING. CRACKING. Severe pain all over. Peeing was not fun. Getting an erection was the worst. I had no idea what was wrong. But of course fear kept me from getting help. I did eventually asked my dad, he wasn't able to tell much other than nothing was seriously wrong. I showered again. I was fine.

The problem? I forgot to wash the shampoo off my penis. cricket9818

Never look down the Barrel! 

Back in the day when you pumped up nerf guns, I was in the toy store checking them out. I pumped one up until it wouldn't pump anymore. when it wouldn't fire, what did i do? looked down the barrel and pulled the trigger of course. caught a suction cup dart right in the eye, point blank. original_4degrees

Of all things... Scope?

I burned my urethra because I had run out of soap in the shower and figured I could wash my genital area with Scope Mouthwash... let me tell you something...I can still feel the pain 22 years later. It felt like someone poured Lava into my pee hole... don't know what I was thinking. GetaGoodLookCostanza

Getting Nailed... 

When I was like 4 or 5 I was at my babysitters ranch (I lived in Wyoming) and was hanging out with my sister and the 13 year old babysitters son. We always liked to climb up this shed with a wavy tin roof. It rained recently. I slid off. Landed on a rusty nail.

There was a large red gash on my thigh and I still have a (kinda) scar there to this day. lvl69bard

The Best Way Down.... 

In kindergarten our teacher took us to the park that was across the street from the school. In there she devised a contest about who could climb a tree the fastest (yeah... this wasn't a very good school). I won, and since all the rest of the kids were also on the tree I ended up being the highest one. We pretty much looked like this and then this incredibly talented teacher decided, once we were in that position, to do the same contest but this time to see who would get down the fastest.

She underestimated my genius. I won by jumping down and fracturing my arm. Transferred schools very shortly afterwards. Kypt

How are you alive?

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An old friend and I found this old refrigerator in his back yard. Had the bright idea to start hitting it with an axe and sledge hammer for craps and giggles. As it fell I part I attempted to pull the sheet metal off and sliced my the back of my hand. I some how didn't realize I cut my self and got bored so we started throwing a football. About 5 minutes later I felt my leg get all wet and looked down to see my hand wide open and about passed out at the sight of all the blood. 32 stitches later I'm left with a nice scar on my hand. We were like 15 at the time. uselesknowledgeadict

Good Ole Ivy League Fun. 

At a frat party I was so drunk I tried to slide down our two story stairwell and when I went to climb On it I fell off the other side. Somehow didn't break any bones but I couldn't walk right for a week and my entire right thigh was black and blue. Joonthedoomdood

So a normal university kid? green_bin_coon

REDDIT

People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley

Remember

"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt

Imagination

"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."

RedditbOiiiiiiiiii

"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."

monobarreller

Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."

– GTFOakaFOD

"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip

Yikes!

"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User

"Oh."

– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"

Sensations

Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."

PeachesnPain

Recovery

"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."

good_golly99

Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."

rayrayrayray

Free

The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."

TooReDTooHigh

This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.

Shocked

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"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."

Admirable_Buyer6528

The SOB

"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”

1-cupcake-at-a-time

Colors

"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"

Hannah_LL7

"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"

huntokarrr

The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."

Fluffy-Hotel-5184

Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."

Hot-Refrigerator6583

Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.

Shopping

"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.