Define "Upper Class."
Everyone wants to be it, but who can really say what defines it?
Money can't buy class, we know that thanks to celebrity and all the Real Housewives.
But so many people believe they belong to this sacred group of privilege.
So let's figure out how we all get there.
Redditor rethinkwhatisthere wanted to discuss just what exactly are the benchmarks to becoming society's best by asking:
"What screams 'I am upper class'?"
GROSS EXCESS.
I do a lot of cable and fiber-optic work in an extremely affluent neighborhood in the FL panhandle, called Alys Beach. I'm talking GROSS excess when it comes to these houses. But the look on their face when I call their multi-million dollar villa a "townhouse," is priceless.
GiphyI Aspire.
Honestly I don't know, I do security for upper class neighborhoods and condos and its the upper middle class people that absolutely do the crazy things for status. There was a guy who didn't have a barcode, so he came through the visitors lane everyday. He had a messy car, greasy hair, wore holey t-shirts. He was the nicest guy, but he did seem out of place. One day he was upset people were talking sh!t about him and I let him vent and he appreciated that. He came in the next day so happy and was like "Remember that b!tch I was talking about yesterday? Well l, I bought her business! Who's laughing now!"
So he was I can buy your business out of pettiness rich, which is what I aspire to be.
Rumor has it.....
Knew a rich kid in college. Rumor has it, dude ended up owing hundreds of thousands of dollars to bookies for betting on NBA games. For that amount of money, the syndicates financing the bookies in my country go after you and your family to make sure you pay.
Night before pay day, dude went to his parents allegedly crying, telling them he had a problem. Parents were obviously concerned. Dude told them what happened and parents breathed a sigh of relief.
They thought he got a chick pregnant. They gave him the money to pay the bookie, relieved.
Swim Deep.
I taught swim lessons at a pretty expensive summer camp, where parents paid upwards of $200 per day for kids, and around $350/day for tweens. Swimming, hiking, paddle boards, rock climbing, horses, etc.. nothing too special these kids couldn't find at another camp. Lots of celebrity kiddos though.
I would charge $50/hr to guard private pool parties because I didn't want to work weekends and didn't really like guarding as much as I loved teaching, but these parents didn't care. I once made $400 in an afternoon guarding a pool that nobody swam in and $100 tip because the dad felt sorry for "wasting" my time. $500 to eat catered Kogi Korean bbq truck food and chat about cars for a few hours; no complaints.
It felt like I was just on display for the parents to show that they could afford a guard. I miss it sometimes.. I was dumb with the money and didn't save much, but enough for some tattoos, a flat screen, and to put 35% down on my first car.
Transport Issues.
Frequency of travels. I work around a ton of upper class people and many of them travel so much they are practically locals at some restaurants. They also focus on lesser known, yet elaborate spots.
The Steinway....
A wealthy couple I know has twin Steinway concert grand pianos in their ballroom-sized living room.
Neither of them plays a note on these elegant pianos that are worth about $185,000 each (Steinway model "D" - 9').
So they hire me to play for special occasions. In the interim, the 2 grands just sit there as part of the room's décor.
Having a nanny 100%.....
Having a nanny 100%. Taught at a dance school in a wealthier area. Not only did all the kids attend a private school but their nannies would be the ones dropping them off. Being that i am not upper class my first few weeks I was pretty confused as to why so many white children seemed to be adopted by asians. Than when I finally met the parents of one of my students i realized they were ALL Vietnamese nannies.
So Quaint.
My friend's parents have a lot of money and I went to a Halloween party that his family friends were having a couple years ago. I distinctively remember hearing the following two sentences (both travel related):
- "We only have five trips booked next year so we're going to try to sneak in a little visit to Egypt in April."
- "Yeah, we were just offered another expenses paid trip to St. Lucia but we turned it down. It just gets boring when you've been so many times."
To the second one, I said "I had to downgrade to one-ply toilet paper this month. Can I have the trip?" They all laughed at my "quaintness."
Add it up...
Being enormously more concerned about how long something will take to get done, rather than how much it will cost.
While we may not have nailed down what upper class is, it seems like classy isn't necessarily part of it.
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Curious to hear from fans online, Redditor Nickster1619 asked:
"Who is the best SNL cast member of all time?"
Repertory cast members from earlier seasons get a shout-out.
Known For Eugene–The Anal Retentive Chef
"Quite possible! It's Phil Hartman."
– Jaoxpax
The Larry King And Burt Reynolds Impersonator
"Idk about the best, but Norm McDonald was always my favorite."
– Burgerpocolypse
Memorable Sketch
"Norm did a skit where he played a police sketch artist who wasn't any good at eyes or hair so everybody had a giant hat and sunglasses. It was a rip on the Unabomber sketch with the hood, bandana and glasses. It was so dry and hilarious."
– tuenthe463
Best Weekend Update Host
"Norm was by far the best weekend update. No question. Seth Meyers and Tina Fey were second. I'm a big fan of Michael Che because I've been following him since he was doing stand-up. Who else? Dennis Miller, meh. Collin Quinn, I like the guy but he wasn't my favorite weekend update by a long shot. Norm was the perfect person for that gig."
– arcaneresistance
The "Beverly Hills Cop" Star
"Eddie Murphy. He carried the show when he was on it, and it probably would have been cancelled if he wasn’t there to do so."
– ovid10
Iconic Characters
"Seconding! Murphy was at a career peak during his time with the show, and his characters - Gumby, Mr. Robinson, Buckwheat - were iconic."
– Brilliant_Tourist400
The Church Lady
"Dana Carvey was incredible in his time."
– Iwannascream2
The 2000s boasted these greats.
Now Starring In "Barry"
"Bill Hader"
"I dont really watch a lot of SNL so my knowledge is limited. He just always appeared to be having a really good time on the show and he's one of the ones who could make me laugh sometimes."
– adios-b*tchachos
The Giggles
"I loved it when he’d get the giggles at something he was going to say and he couldn’t deliver it because of his laughter. That was as good as the joke."
– opossumonmyporch
Love To The Ladies
"Gotta send love to my ladies, it’s Tina Fey for me. Amy Poehler is also a goddess but I don’t remember her as much until Parks and Rec. Also Kenan Thompson? He had such a long run!"
– __nothankyou__
Kiss Me, Kate
"Kate McKinnon. She is the most versatile cast member of modern times."
– Guest8782
Longtime Cast Member
"Gotta give some love to Kenan. He is often the center and driver of the sketches. So consistent and has been there so long now."
– Naes422
No one made me crack up harder than the great comedy legend, Gilda Radner.
In 1975, the SNL alum was one of the original "Not Ready for Prime Time Players"–the freshman cast of the show's first season.
A character of hers I'll never forget was the know-it-all Weekend Update advice expert, Roseanne Roseannadanna. YouTube clips of her hilarious turn as the wacky consumer affairs reporter show her comedic timing and delivery brilliance.
Unfortunately, Radner left us too soon in 1989 having died from ovarian cancer. She was 42.
"What makes you instantly question someone's intelligence?"
One Shouldn't Always Be So Confident...
"Being confidently ignorant."- Tattooed-Tango
amanda tanen catwalk GIF by HULUGiphyLearning Is An Eternal Gift
"An unwillingness to learn new things."- Electrical-Bid-9577
Don't Be Fooled...
"Interest in a pyramid scheme."- GameCox
"When people are really into a MLM scheme."
"I’m not taking about 'I’m a bored house wife so I decided to start selling makeup, leggings, whatever it may be, because I’m bored and this gives me something to do'.”
"I’m talking about the people who consider it their career and are huge into the Boss Babe lifestyle."- Milehighcarson
Talking Season 3 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphySpreading Garbage
"When they post one of those things on Facebook saying 'only a few will share!' or when they comment on one of those clickbait 'God has a blessing for you today say amen!' posts."- se7ensquared·
Do You Even Know What I'm Saying?
"Arguing without listening."- dezx156
angry daffy duck GIF by Looney TunesAnd Now For Something Completely Different
"When you prove your point in a discussion and the other person explains that it doesn’t even matter because their REAL point is something that’s an off-shoot of that subject in a 'gotcha!' manner."- No-Mud-5854
Loud Is Almost Never Right
"People who can only argue by raising their voice."- malkumecks
driving eric cartman GIF by South Park They Have No Idea What They're Missing
"Active hostility to books (as opposed to simply not reading them)."- Manganela
"Being proud of never having read a book."- peppermintcreams
Nice Try
"When they repeat a certain statement word for word I get the impression that they memorized something to sound more intelligent than they are."- Armedes369
Talking Nigel Thornberry GIFGiphyHow Much Proof Do They Need?
"They aren't open to changing their beliefs when given new information."- Pretengineer_825
What Are They Trying To Prove?
"Oddly enough, when they try and tell me their IQ."- manwithoutcountry
It is often the people who try to prove how smart they are who end up doing just the opposite.
A truly intelligent person would know better than to do that.
Redditor broadway96 was eager to hear the juiciest information people learned about their former workplaces which they weren't supposed to know, leading them to ask:
"What's a company secret you can share now that you don't work there?"
Off The Books, But With Good Intentions
"This isn't a company secret, but:"
"I worked part-time at a Domino's franchise in college."
"The owner was, at first glance, a short-tempered, critical penny-pincher who did everything he could to save a business money, right down to watching over your shoulder to make sure you didn't put too much cheese on a pizza."
"Cheese is called 'white gold' in the pizza industry, even back in 2002."
"But after working for him for a while, you realized why he was so specific about the margins."
"Twice yearly, he would send out generous bonuses (in the form of money orders made out to his employees from his own personal savings account) to the college students working for him."
"the checks/money orders contained the memo line 'keep learning!'"
"The amount of the money orders would be directly correlated to the profit margins of the stores he owned. The dude did legit profit sharing."
"After I graduated, I heard a rumor that he was trying to start up a small education grant trust that would benefit applicants of the Farmer School of Business at Miami University, but I don't think anything ever came of it."
"This owner also played favorites when hiring."
"Every single one of his managers was a former employee."
"Three of the four managers at his stores when I worked there had graduated from my college with business degrees."
"All four of them had a small portion of their education paid for by Marvin Covington."
"Marvin Covington, Oxford, Ohio Dominoes owner from Vevay, Indiana, died in 2017."
"That dude knew how to do business, and do it right."- sunward_Lily
Season 1 Netflix GIFGiphyIt's all in the branding
"I worked at L’Oréal."
"The cosmetics from L’Oréal and Lancôme are practically the same."
"But Lancôme costs like $20 more."- BayBel
A Literal Comic Book Villain
"I worked at a comic book store that offered a service where you paid a small premium to have sent in rare comics to have them graded at CGC."
"A few months later we had many customers coming in to check the status of their comics."
"We contacted the owner to see what was going on, and he would always claim that there was some distribution problem."
"Fast forward a few months, we found out he was taking customers graded copies and selling them online while trying to return back issue versions of their original comics."- ZealousidealWay1139
The American Healthcare System Everyone...
"Health insurance dude."
"When you file a claim, it is often denied because they're counting on you not escalating it."
"Once you do, your case goes to a 'medical management group' which ought to be called the 'we don't wanna pay' group."
"Keep escalating and involve your doctor."
"Fight for the insurance you paid for."- theUttermostSnark
Pop Culture Politics GIF by PBS Digital StudiosGiphyWow.
"The vehicle modification shop at Chillicothe Correctional Institution in Chillicothe, Ohio dumps waste coolant from the machine shop into a storm drain that empties directly into the Scioto River, because the chemical disposal tank is a 55 gallon drum in the paint shop, and that's much too small.
"They can't throw me into solitary confinement for complaining anymore."
"This happens about once a year, when the machine's coolant reservoirs are emptied and the coolant replaced."
"It's not on a schedule, it's one of those things that you do when work is slow."
"Each machine holds 15-20 gallons, and usually you just add more as it evaporates, but eventually it gets nasty and needs replaced."
"It's supposed to go in a waste tote to be disposed of safely, which is what every non - government machine shop does."
"Being able to prove this is being done would require knowing when they're going to do this, and that's a decision that's often made spur of the moment - hey, work is slow, let's have a clean up day."
"There aren't any phones in the machine shop, either."
"A container to store the waste properly costs $200."
"Why waste taxpayer money when we can just poison the taxpayers instead?"- Pariahdog119
Neat Freak! But It Paid Off...
"I don't think it's a bad secret at all."
"But back in college, I delivered pizzas for Papa John's."
"The store manager must have had an undiagnosed case of OCD or germaphobia or something."
"Because every night, he would assign someone to do the cleaning duties (mopping floors, double checking expiration dates/throwing away expired stuff, etc.)."
"And every night, he would absolutely lose his temper and berate whoever was doing the cleaning."
"They were going too fast, they weren't cleaning everything, whatever."
"After that, he'd always take over the cleaning himself."
"He was amazingly picky about the cleanliness and food quality."
"'Expiration date is three days from now? F*ck that, I'll order more'."
"Throw that sh*t away, we're not serving it'."
"He would also go out of pocket to buy special cleaning products 'because that worthless bullsh*t that corporate wants us to use doesn't get the job done'."
"He also went out of pocket to hire some kind of specialist to clean out the fountain drink dispenser, ice machine and all that stuff."
"'The machine needs to always be as close to brand new as possible!'"
"One stand out moment for me was when he reduced a cashier to tears by hollering 'Would you eat off this floor? No? THEN IT'S NOT CLEAN ENOUGH!'"
"He wasn't telling her to eat off the floor."
"He was just making a point."
"After we'd closed the store, he'd kick all of us out, lock up behind us and stay until something like 2am cleaning the place."
"You always knew when he closed because you could smell the chemical scent still lingering in the air."
"The end result of this was the store, the food, the equipment and the facilities were always in squeaky clean condition."
"Customers (somehow) picked up on what a perfectionist the store manager was and bought from us all the time."
"Because there's a lot of peace of mind that goes in with knowing your food was cooked by someone willing to throw ingredients away BEFORE the expiration date, stay in the store until God knows when cleaning everything, etc."
"The true irony was how much the boss hated himself because he didn't think he was doing a good enough job to run a clean restaurant with fresh ingredients."
"It didn't matter how many compliments he got from customers or how many service industry veterans said they'd never worked in a place as obsessive about freshness and cleanliness as his Papa John's store, he was convinced his store was still a filthy barn."
"Eventually, he got promoted to some kind of higher level corporate position (district manager?) that required him to visit other stores and make sure they were all up to spec."
"The end result of that was a LOT of stores in this area all improved seemingly overnight."- EponymousTitular
Season 10 GIF by FriendsGiphyEasy Way To Get Attention
"If you pick up a wall phone at Home Depot and push '7' it activates the store wide intercom."
"This works in every store in my province afaik."- _Zoko_
Be Careful What You Say...
"If you were on Live Chat with Customer Care, I could see what you were typing before pressing send."
"I watched people work through grotesque, racist, sexist statements, fraudulent lies and mistruths, meticulous grammar fixes, and their whole range of emotions in real-time before deleting and typing 'ok'.”- BariatricPressure
2 Secrets For The Price Of One
"Ford parts from Mexico are way more reliable than Ford parts from Detroit, or at least they were before 2020."
"I worked in Detroit and we had some customers who were fussy about us always doing repairs with Michigan parts, but when we had a problem that wouldn't stay fixed we would always secretly switch to the Mexican parts, which did solve things."
"I was a prison guard a decade ago and we installed some facial tracking software in the surveillance cameras."
"One of the inmates panicked while cleaning the unused solitary confinement cells--which is usually a desirable job, it's easy as f*ck and nobody pays attention to you, and he insisted that he be moved out of that job because there was a ghost."
"The ranking officers decided to check the new cameras, and the security software claimed it saw a face behind the inmate at the same time as he was visibly startled in the camera footage."
"We're all aware there are mundane reasons why a new facial recognition system would think it saw a ghost, but since the inmate and the security software both thought there was a ghost it was decided that the inmate should be immediately transferred at no penalty."- NoAnTeGaWa
season 9 GIFGiphyIf some walls could talk!
Then again, any jilted employee will likely do all the talking for them...
Redditor SheemieRayVaughan wanted to know how we could have some fun with a major windfall, so they asked:
"How would your life be changed by winning $20,000?"
Please someone send me $20,000!
I'll even take $10!!
Living
Kisses GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy"Replenish my emergency fund that was depleted from my cancer bills this past year. My out of pocket max + deductible was 5k and now just paid 1k to get a prosthetic (had salivary gland cancer which left a hole in my soft palate). Hopefully part of that will be reimbursed from either dental or medical insurance."
stepheli88
Juicy
"As I'm homeless ATM it would mean a whole f#*king lot! I'd buy some fruit first tho! The biggest pineapple I could find! 😂."
"Umm about £2 so like $3, ah you've very kind thank you! But it's ok I don't even have a knife or anything to get into one and I've no Venmo or PayPal or anything like that. Really do appreciate the very kind offer all the same! ❤️🙏."
Marchogdu
"If you find a way to receive it I will also Venmo you pineapple money. I’ve not been homeless but I’ve been 'no money for fruit and veg or literally anything to bring light to my life' poor. $20k would still be life changing but I have enough pineapple money to share now."
TheLastEggplant
Finally!
"I'd literally be out of debt for the first time in my entire adult life 😅."
SnooTangerines5325
"Same 40 this year and I've just given up on the idea of owning property. Settled for a council house in the sticks in Scotland. Gonna make this house our home, try to clear the debts and just try be comfortable is the aim."
"Actually doing it on the other hand is near impossible when my outgoings of just rent, food and power take my entire wage. At the moment bankruptcy is looking like my only way of actually ever achieving being comfortable let alone buying property."
Nelly32
Same Ole'
"It wouldn't change."
mythoughtsfortheday
"I’m in the same boat that it wouldn’t change much. 1/10 of my student loans would be kinda nice I guess, but when I’m drowning, I prefer they just drain the whole pool instead of 10%."
Schleeeeeem
"Same. It would just get rolled into a current or future investment."
SevenTheTerrible
"I'm with you. Would split it up between Roth and savings. Excitement would last just a moment. I know that sounds spoiled but the question was asked. I answered."
Va0utdoor
Timeless
Episode 9 Hug GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy"$20k would cover rent, bills & food so I could take time to spend with my dying parents."
-qqqwwweeerrrtttyyy-
Time is precious.
HELP
Cartoon Network GIF by CNLAGiphy"I'd be able to get the medical treatment and dental work I've been avoiding. I'd probably be a lot happier being able to chew more things."
asianinindia
Bad Ideas
"I would lose my disability and be more f**ked than helped, honestly."
"If I spent it incredibly under the table, then yeah. But if I did anything noticeable with it, it's still a risk. I borrowed money from a friend once to buy a cheap a** van (to live in, yay, leeching off the government is so profitable /s) and they drilled me about where I got the money to buy it."
"To get them off my back, I even drew up a contract stating that I was never in possession of the money and was on a payment plan to pay it back. It can be hell to get disability, but they'll rip it away in two seconds."
odd_ender
A little here and there...
"I have $54k left on my mortgage. No other debt. Don't need a car. So almost no change."
SteelTumbler
"Same pretty much. I don't 'need' anything and the one thing you could argue I could use, you can't buy that for $20k. So literally would not change my life at all. Maybe someone else would be a better recipient."
descendency
"I mean, it wouldn’t change my life, but I could park it somewhere for my son later on."
not_a_droid
It Works
"My mom died and had an insurance policy that paid out about this amount. It allowed me to buy my first ever new car. Everything works in it! Especially thrilled to have heat and defrost. Reliable transportation really does make life easier."
Cate_in_Mo
The Everyday
Bugs Bunny Money GIF by Looney TunesGiphy"It would help immensely, I'm living paycheck to paycheck with $12 in savings. I get by, but the fear of an unforseen expense is crippling at times."
xanarchy69
Debt be Gone!
"Pay off some consumer debt and the rest of my car loan. It would basically just push the timeline for my wife getting a new car up by a year, granted that would mean that the debt we paid off would be replaced by a new car payment. Aside from her no longer driving something questionably reliable (we've had major issues), nothing would change."
duffman13jws
Money isn't everything... but it certainly helps!
What would you do with the money? Let us know in the comments.