Sometimes, no most of the time, an argument isn't worth the stress. It can take a lot of will power and quiet strength but we all have to weigh the options. There are just some minds we will never change. And some people we will just never see eye to eye with, even though we share DNA. So personal sacrifices have to be made in order to continue with peace. And often, many of us must swallow a bitter pill so we don't have to participate in drama.
Redditor u/splashingseal wanted to discuss all the times we've let things go for one reason or another by asking.... What's the worst thing you've tolerated to avoid confrontation?In the cupboard....
My flatmate will put my earphones in my food cupboard to tidy them away, but then leave all his dishes about the kitchen and living room
Not the worst, but so needlessly infuriating.
On the Edge....
An emotionally abusive relationship where I was constantly on edge because almost every single conversation resulted in an argument or me being put down. One night he had a huge fight with my mother, and I still went home with him. I immediately texted her to say he was being an ahole and that I actually agreed with her, but I didn't want to deal with the stress of him picking a fight with me about it.
That was probably the defining moment that made me start to reflect and realize the relationship was unhealthy.
As of Tuesday.....
My current work situation as of Tuesday. As part of my job I handle the timesheets for my office and my coworker checks them to see if everything is recorded correctly. If I make a mistake, I understand i need correction but the way she's been handling it lately has been too much. Now instead of calling me over to her desk, she just lectures me in front of the entire office. Then sometimes she complains to sups about me within earshot, pretty much repeating what she said very loudly to my face.
She's even made me cry once, but that was more frustration honestly (I'm an angry crier).
I say as of Tuesday because the last blow up over a timesheet error (that I handled on my own) was one too many. I finally had too much and told my sup it was bothering me. I'm hoping she can meditate between us so I don't start to panic every time I hear my coworker sigh a certain way.
The Chair...
GIF by Kim's Convenience
Giphy
My MSc supervisor taking 6 months to return drafts. By repeatedly doing this, he extended the time it took by 3 years.
Eventually the department chair got wind of this and kicked his butt into gear. I wish I'd approached the chair sooner (well, at all.)
Fredo....
I used to have a roommate and all she ate was fettuccini alfredo for all three meals a day. And she'd only eat half of it and just leave the bowl sitting there. So there were just bowls of half eaten pasta scattered around the house and if we asked her to clean it she'd get upset and yell at us for "making her do all the work".
Yet if anyone else in the house had even a speck of dust near them she'd come in screaming, calling us lazy, telling us how horrible it was for her to live in such a mess. Once she tried to have me kicked out of the house for leaving a half full can of pop lying around that she knocked over and spilled. It was half full because I'd just opened it and was in the middle of drinking it. Meanwhile there's f*cking fettuccini everywhere.
Dad's day....
My fathers wedding. Absolutely hate his wife, her kids. She's a witch and that's not even biased, she's the type to go out of her way to lie in court in a case she has nothing to do with to make people miserable.
He basically blackmailed my sibling and I to come to the wedding ( which we were informed of a week prior as "an important event" and the night before as his actual second wedding) or he would never come to ours in the future.
Yeah, kinda wish I was a confrontational person, just this one time. It would have been glorious.
Oh and then he didn't inform my mother of it. So we kept the secret for another 2 years until he slipped up. Not my story to tell, and that was a conversation I didn't want to have.
Health Issues....
"You guys shouldn't be allowed to become NICU nurses unless you've had a premature baby yourself." Obviously from a mom in the worst moment of her life.
We get a lot of horrible comments or tongue lashing from parents who are just scared, frustrated or mad. I can't retaliate or say anything I might want to say, so we just sit quietly and say we're sorry they're in this situation.
On and On....
90s beauty GIF
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An Uber driver who rambled on and on to me that women shouldn't work, should cook and raise kids. Said repeatedly how his engineer daughter was a disappointment because she works and has his grandkids in daycare. This was shortly after I, a woman, told him I was traveling for work. I just nodded along praying my hotel was closer.
I Hate You....
Right now I'm tolerating an ex roommate treating their gf and my close friend (separate people) like absolute crap, emotionally abusing and manipulating them. It's terrible and I hate.
However, they live quite a ways away from me and as things stand confronting him about it will only make things worse for the people I care about.
So for right now all I can do us my best to be there for them and support them until they find a way to get away from him. It's terrible, and I hate it, and I wish I could just rip him a new one, but I've dealt with people like him before and I know he'll just take it out on everyone else and they wouldn't be able to handle that right now.
Off the Road....
driving rush hour GIF
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My Driving Instructor used to debate me on Islam Vs Christianity (though I'm not sure why - I'm agnostic).
Of course I was completely fine with this, in fact as a Welsh born and bred village lad living in a big multicultural city for the first time, I found it fascinating. He was a fantastic instructor and clearly a good dude. But at one stage he tried his best to convince me that the Charlie Hebdo shooting was justified.
I've never been so glad to be in a situation where eye contact is actively dissuaded.
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But sometimes, the wisdom imparted by friends isn't always helpful or relevant to the situation.
Curious to hear from strangers online who could do without specific knowledge, Redditor Saibotnl1 asked:
"What life advice can just f'k off?"
These Redditors have a problem with how certain people have on outlook on life.
Time To Rest
"Sleep when you’re dead."
"Cool, but you’re going to be dead a lot sooner."
– Tag2graff
Irrelevant Sadness
"People have it so much worse than you so don’t be sad!"
– notrachelmar
"To that I like to say, 'people have it so much better than you so don't be happy!'"
– ___jupiter____
Your Life Path
"Almost anything relating to what age you must be in order to buy a house, have children, marry, have a profession, or do anything else. Seriously, everyone's life is different from everyone else's. Make your life the way you want it to be. If you so desire. Up to you."
– Frn071
On The Contrary
“Cheaters never prosper”
"Yes, they f'king do."
– waqasnaseem07
People can get out of any situation they find displeasing.
But others feel people should just "stick it out."
Ignoring Bullies
"Just ignore bullys or get someone else to handle it for you. I have never seen this work, only makes it worse. The only effective way I've seen to deal with them is by not making yourself an easy target and make them scared to f'k with you again. If going psycho on their a** is the only thing they'll respond to that's their fault. Also want to add in schools they will punish you for self defense but that punishment is only sitting around a few hours in detention or sitting around at home with a suspension. The punishment is temporary boredom, it's absolutely nothing compared to being bullied and when it's over the important message will still stand that you will not tolerate being a victim."
– User Delted
Remain to be Miserable
"Stick it out"
"Whether that's sh**ty jobs, shi**y relationships, shi**y living situations..."
"By all means don't just give up on things when you face challenges, but if something feels wrong or is wrecking your peace then take some control and change it if you can!"
– petitezoey
"Easy for you to say," might be an auto-response to these suggestions for many people.
Invitation For Recklesslessness
"Live like everyday was your last"
Yall know what people do when they learn they have a single day left to live?"
– LimeGrass619
A Possible Consequence
"I did that as a teenager and ended up homeless and addicted to heroin. Didn’t pan out for me too well."
"19 years sober though today."
– Open-Section-7263
A Practical Approach
"If I knew with certainty that I had one day left, I'd double-check all my financials, my will, and my insurance policies, make sure my wife had all of my passwords and knew where all the money was, spend the rest of the day with her and the kids, then call the medical examiner and ask to lie down on the gurney so that when I die they won't strain their back moving my remains out of my house."
– Asteriad
Nose Stuck In A Book
"Work while they sleep. Study while they party"
"That's not a recipe for success, that's a recipe for a lot of white hairs, burnout syndrome and a stroke before your 40s..."
– Khomuna
Doesn't Apply To Everyone
"Do what you love and money will follow"
"I love walking my dogs and grilling food for my friends but That sh*t doesn't pay the bills as well as my engineering degree!"
– Elons_android
While people's intentions are good, they're better off keeping their two cents in their own pockets.
Not everyone likes to hear platitudes.
Sometimes, people just want to know they're not alone with their problems over listening to unlikely solutions that are nothing more than superficial pick-me-ups.
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