At one point or another, many of us had to cohabitate with strangers.
It was a small sacrifice to pay in order to save money for tuition or to acclimate after moving to a new city.
But finding the perfect roommate is like winning the lottery.
One wrong pick would leave you with a Single White Female situation, and we all know how well that ends.
Complaints included a roommate who had a tendency of borrowing underwear; a woman who drank excessively and brought men home; a brother who spoke loudly on the phone at night; and a guy who practiced his saxophone – completely naked.
Do any of these roommates fit the description of someone who made your life an absolute nightmare to be with?
The Man Who Wore My Undies
"My first college roommate was the worst."
"He hated doing laundry and would 'borrow' my underwear, even though I told him not to in the clearest possible terms."
"Worse still, he'd wear my undies for a date, then return them used (unwashed). After he'd do that, it felt weird wearing them again - as if they were now his and no longer mine."
If Your Name Is Mindy, Proceed With Caution
"My first college roommate. She was a doozy. I should have known she would be awful."
"She insisted that she was going to bring everything to furnish the apartment because she had received it as gifts. The only thing she didn't have was a microwave. Cool. I brought one and some cooking stuff, along with my bedroom stuff. She then lorded over me that she supplied EVERYTHING for the apartment and I only brought a microwave."
"She had two boyfriends. One the 'safe' guy her parents liked and one not liked by parents. They didn't know about each other. If I answered the phone I was not supposed to say anything about what was doing."
"She had one matching set of panties/bra. She showed me and acted like it was a big f'king deal. She wore them for days at a time so each boyfriend saw her on them. And if she went out, she wore them."
"She was an alcoholic. Everyday day around 1 she brought back a 12 pack of Natty Light. It would be gone by evening."
"She brought men home from bars. I locked my door if I was home. I mostly ended up staying with friends or my boyfriend because I didn't feel safe. One time I got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. There was an old naked man in the hallway."
"I left after one semester. My boyfriend helped me move out while she was out at a bar. The lease was in her name and I didn't care."
"Mindy from SIU - if you're reading this f'k you."
My Nude Saxophonist
"My first roommate in college- we lived in the room below his girlfriend, and he'd call her every morning around 6 am and every night around 9 pm. Dude. Just go talk to her."
"He also was naked in the room. Like.. a lot. I'm not weird about that kind of thing, but he absolutely never wore clothes unless he needed to. It was strange."
"The nudity was made weirder by how needy/social he was. I'm a relatively reserved guy and did my best to keep to myself. If I was working on something for a while and didn't acknowledge him, he'd tap me on the shoulder and I'd have to turn around and have a conversation with a naked guy about why I'm avoiding him. I was never 'avoiding' him- I just never felt the urge to talk to him constantly."
"Also, he played the saxophone and practiced in our room (naked, of course) until I put a stop to it. Put yourself in my shoes for a moment. You're doing homework at your desk and are interrupted by a hairy naked guy playing the saxophone in our dorm room (very close quarters)."
"For those of you who aren't aware, the saxophone is not a quiet instrument."
Get It Together, Bruh
"My brother always is on his computer when im trying to sleep and talks to his friends loudly, bangs his desk, and watches videos on his phone with the sound on. Good sleep isn't a thing for me."
The Liar And A Thief
"Brent: both a liar and a thief, continually used my food, toothpaste, laundry detergent and most anything he needed. Drank my beer and when I asked, he denied it, I showed him the bottles in the trash and he still denied it."
"Tired of it, I switched my powdered detergent with powdered bleach and placed it back on the shelf. After several weeks, he ruined all of his clothes and never touched my detergent again. When he moved stole a bunch of tools from me too. He was and is a total a-hole, and the reason i lived alone after that."
These Are A Few Of Their Not-So-Favorite Things
"Not going to name him out of the sake of anonymity, but here are some of his offenses:"
- Leaving dirty plates and take out food containers in the living room with rotting food.
- Always had sex with the door open/cracked on purpose so people could hear.
- Walked around naked in the apartment.
- Constantly asking to use my car for like 20 minutes, but ended up being like 4 hours.
- Asks for you to spend all day at the apartment in case a package comes.
- Asks to cut his hair (I'm not a barber).
- His girlfriend moved in for a month without asking or splitting bills.
- Constantly forgot to pay the water bill, so shutoffs happened about once a month.
"After that I was done with roomates. Unless we're family or in a longterm stable relationship, then that's going to be a 'F'k no' for rooming together."
When Friendships Sour
"6 years ago, had moved out with a so called friend. I was pregnant and working two jobs (retail)(Walmart) had my son and still worked my a** off. Anyway she decided to let a mutual friend bring a guy over so the friend could use her room for you know what. I told her that's a bad idea and I would never allow anyone to have sex in my bed if it ain't me lol. She decided it's okay. She didn't come home that night so our mutual friend came over with her bf, they did their thing and stayed the night. Roommate decided to pop up back home around 6am.
Mind you I had a baby 3-4 months old, just got off work so I was asleep. The audacity of this heiffa to come in the house mad with her kid seeing the mutual friend laid up in her bed with the guy pissed her off(but she had agreed to it) she starts yelling ain't nobody sleeping in here, swung my mf door open telling me I was a bad roommate for letting it happen etc. I told her I'm not your momma and you allowed and okayed her to do it."
"Long story short she had to sign off so I can get off the lease that day to which she did, then she got mad at me for calling to tell her I would cut off all utilities on this date so get your money up so you can put your name on them. She expected me to leave my name on the utilities but the bi*ch never wanted to pay on time and felt like I should've paid her half because my kids father which was overseas at the time would send money for his child. She called me to tell me she wanted to fight but be friends again and I told her we're not friends nor will we ever be in this lifetime or the next. That was years ago and I wiped my hands with that situation, learned my lesson."
You Don't Want To End Up With This Guy
"Guy I lived with my first two years of college. Got put in a 6 man suite and he wasn't bad at first but slowly unveiled his inner sociopath. Stink like dogsh*t because he was from a wealthy family and never had to do laundry before so he just wore dirty clothes all the time. Joined a frat at a non-party school so thought he was a big man on campus even though the frats are a joke here. Left his dirty clothes and food just lying around."
"Bullied his awkward sheltered roommate by 'purposely' trying to be as gross as possible so the kid would drive home every weekend and made fun of the kid for lying about where he transferred from (the bullied kid went to community first but claimed he had gone to Syracuse) when I just found out this year the bully hadn't played basketball at the school he had gone to before transferring like he'd claimed. He'd just straight up grab girls at the bar and start making out as his method of hooking up which worked occasionally but was generally just him borderline assaulting women. Guy manipulated people into thinking he was their friend but really just used people and convinced 4/6 of us to stay as a group to join with 4 other guys for the next year where he just got worse and worse and we all decided to not live with him for our last year."
"He's basically a pathological liar who feels the need to try to one-up everyone at every single possible chance but the cracks just keep popping up. A few weeks ago I was at the house of the other 4 people we lived with our second year (totally outside to avoid corona) and he just drunkenly showed up and tried to wrestle me because he knew I wrestled and always tried to prove he could beat me up. So he attacked me when I wasn't paying attention by going for a knee I'd torn back in March and I f'king hate this guy so much at this point I had to take him down and then he tried to tell everyone I actually attacked him randomly until someone called him out that he tried to sneak attack me. Dude is a total scumbag grasping at straws to be the 'big man' on campus."
Scratch That, THIS Is Who You'll Want To Avoid
"Told me he wanted to kill people to know what it felt like and dissect them, and that he had no sympathy or sorrow for death, then told me he wanted to manipulate me & was actively trying to find ways to do so. There were a lot of red flags leading up to this. but this casual conversation sent me into a two month dissociative state. I'm no longer mentally able to live with someone besides my mom for more then 3 days without getting overly paranoid and going down a horrible mental health rabbit hole."
Dude, Where's My Funnel?
"I had a funnel I kept in the cupboard that I would use when I made barbecue sauce. My roommate and I shared an apple TV and I could see his YouTube search history. One day I found 'How to give yourself a coffee enema with a funnel.' I looked in the fridge and found a half full pot of french press coffee and my funnel was nowhere to be found. Needless to say I never went looking for it."
Move Over Karen, And Meet "Taryn"
"I had this roommate in college named 'Taryn.' We were renting an apartment together because I had just moved to the area and our boyfriends knew each other."
"Unfortunately, Taryn was controlling and obsessed with being an 'adult.' I moved in a week before her and she wanted me to wait to buy anything without her. Seriously, she got mad when I told her I was shopping for a shower curtain. She made me send her pictures and nixed all of the ones I wanted (beach themed, polka dots, wavy lines, etc.) because they were 'immature' and in the end told me I could only buy a white one. With my own money!"
"We were supposed to be splitting rent evenly, but after the first month Taryn said she couldn't afford it and asked me if I would cover for her for a few months. She was in an unpaid program but would start getting paid in 4 months, so we agreed I would play an extra $100 for 4 months then we would switch. She never kept her end and never paid me back while bragging about all the things she was buying. She claimed that I should pay extra anyway since my room had an extra closet. Her room had 1 walk in closet and my room had 2 standards, so it was still the same size."
"The final straw was when she told me I had to get rid of my ESA because her boyfriends sister was allergic to cats. This was a cat that I got shortly after moving in, with her permission. I had a note from my psychologist and the landlord was aware and approved it. Taryn thought that her boyfriends sister should be more comfortable in our home than I should be."
"She did a lot more and I ended up leaving the moment my lease ended. She told me to take all my crap with me. So I did. All of the pots and pans were mine, the table and chairs were mine, the sofa was mine. Even her desk in her room was one she had 'borrowed' from me. And yes, I took the white shower curtain."
The Definition Of A Slob
"I lived in an apartment with several people, but the guy in the room next to mine was bad. We cook our own food, and he'd leave dirty caseroles in the sink. He'd take his food into his room and just stack used plates and such on his desk, eventually he had his own colony of fruit flies in his room. He'd excercise a lot, which I'd say is a virtue, except he left his dirty laundry on the floor, which developed an odor. He had a condition which required him to take medication at regular intervals, so he'd set an alarm for maybe 2 am. He did not wake from his alarm, I did. When I knocked on his door he did wake and take his medication. I also believe he stole from me, i.e. stuff I had in the fridge would go missing. He moved out, fortunately, and the guy who moved into his old room was a good guy."
Love 'Em Or Hate 'Em
"Children, hands down. They're demanding, messy, don't contribute, and you can't throw them out."
Horrible Zoo Keeper
"Rented a cheap room from an older lady for a few years. She was nice but house was cluttered and dirty. But the worst part was when her grown daughter moved back home. She was immature and entitled, absolutely loved herself. She wouldn't help out, left blood and pubic hair in the bathroom for others to deal with, and wouldn't take care of her pets. One time her mom went out of town for a week, and I realized after a few days the girl wasn't feeding/watering her birds... two of them were dead. But she loved to brag about her 'zoo'. She also would sneak her boyfriend over all the time even though her mom didn't want him there. She would even leave the bedroom door open while she was giving him a bj when me and her brother were home. I was so glad when I could afford to move out. You would think 20 years and 4 kids later she might have matured. But her sister tried to help her out and let her live there- she and her kids were rude and trashed her house, and wouldn't follow covid rules even though the sister has health issues. She finally kicked her out, and the girl cut her out of her life and made the kids do the same."
It's another ordinary day in America.
So of course that means we've already had a mass shooting or two before brunch.
And aside from the mass shootings, the number of single gunshot wounds or deaths is too high to count.
So let's discuss the aftermath.
Let's hear from the people who have faced the barrel of a loaded gun, or were just a casualty going about their day.
What happens after the bullet lands?
***CAUTION - SENSITIVE MATERIAL AHEAD - TRIGGER WARNING***
Redditor notaninterestingacc wanted to hear from the people who have lived the nightmare. They asked:
"Gunshot survivors of Reddit - What does it feel like to get shot?"
Guns are not a joke. Please educate yourself before you purchase.
Then the pin hit...
"I took a 7.62 to the stomach in Afghanistan. Felt like somebody had smacked with like, I dunno, a flyswatter or something. A short sharp smack. Didn’t feel much until I tried to come out of cover and I just... couldn’t. Couldn’t make my body listen to me. Then the pain hit. I’d put it at like, I dunno, an 11/10. Bullet blew off half my liver."
Thank you EMS...
"Chest, .357 magnum, through sternum, lung, ricochet off of rib, through scapula. Still have half under my shouldblade. Felt like I was stabbed in the chest with a hot fire poker mounted to the bottom of someone's foot when they drop kicked me. Was not expected to survive (severe blood loss), of course. Very good EMS team kept the liquids where they were supposed to and great doctors and nurses kept me going."
"I didn't really feel either of mine until about 10 minutes later. Took a grazing shot off my left arm and one in the right hip that went out my back thankfully missing my kidney. The arm felt like a bee sting the hip knocked me back a step the adrenalin at the time masked the pain."
The Masked Men
"I was shot during a home robbery. I’m probably one of The luckiest people alive. The bullet no joke scratched my cheek and then went through the top of my ear and also a bullet grazed my wrist and opened it up. I didn’t feel anything but just liquid running down my face and my wrist was burning."
"Scariest night of my life and RIP Christian. Miss you so much buddy. Here is proof. We... https://www.chron.com/neighborhood/katy/crime-courts/article/Man-charged-in-attempted-burglary-apartment-6236325.php Authorities said Burke and Brandon Fries, 21, fought the suspects for their guns, which were fired during the struggle."
"The two masked men fled, and investigators initially did not have any information about which direction they went or whether they escaped from the scene by car. Both Burke and Fries had been shot and were transported to Hermann Memorial Hospital in Katy. Burke was pronounced dead upon arrival at the emergency room, less than four miles away.”
Like a Rock
"I got shot in the ankle when I was 10. Honestly I thought a rock hit me. Just a slight stinging feeling. Didn't really hurt, I even kept running with my bike. Later at the hospital was a different story. The doctor tried to remove the bullet without putting me under."
"He said the pain medicine would make me forget everything. He gave up after a few minutes of hell. And, whatever he gave me didn't work as described, but it did oddly make everyone look purple from what I remember. So maybe it half worked? lol."
People really? How in the world do y'all get firearms?
"Right thigh, 9mm, grazing shot across the front of the leg about 4 inches above the knee. It plowed a channel of skin and some flesh off the front. It felt searing hot like someone had laid a hot piece of metal on my leg for a second. Then, the pain went away for a while until the adrenaline wore off. It honestly hurt worse 6 hours later than it did when it happened."
A slight pinch...
"I was randomly shot while walking down the street with my girlfriend in 2013. I didn't fall to the ground or anything like that. Walked into a store and told them to call the cops. It didn't hurt too bad at first. A slight pinch. The heat builds up and the pain comes in. Some throbbing as the blood pumps out. I was extremely lucky as the bullet lodged between my lower right ribs in the back just above my kidney."
"The aftermath was a really achey back. What I remember most was how everyone around me except for my girlfriend just walked around us like nothing happened. I was suffering and potentially dying and everyone just ignored it. 'Not my problem' I suppose. I lost a lot of faith in people that day."
Not the Head
"I accidentally discharged my 9 and I was hit in the head. While it was going on I honestly did not feel any pain but everything slowed way down. Healing and recooperating was the hardest. My mouth and jaw was wired shut for several months. Had to have complete facial reconstruction surgery."
"Had to take a piece of bone from my skull and graph it to my nose just so I could have a nose. I also had to have a feeding tube for almost a whole year. I've recovered fully and I'm very lucky. I remember mostly everything. Something's from the incident I don't remember, but for the most part, I have my memories in tact."
"My gf was shot, not me, but she said it felt hot and like impact but not particularly painful until much later. She was in shock and went to the hospital, after hours she said it started to hurt."
"This was my response too. It feels incredibly hot. It's like getting hit with a bee that's on fire. It burns like hell. But then, and only later, does is f**king hurt. The part two is that you might think you understand pressure, but get shot. It doesn't just hurt, it mashes into you."
"A good friend of mine got hit with a ricochet from a 9mm that hit his calf, there was drive by about a block down. He was outside of the bar smoking a cig when it happened, ran inside and felt his leg burning but decided to keep drinking. He had about 3 more drinks before someone mentioned he was bleeding… went to the ER absolutely hammered and was fine after surgery."
Please stay sober when handling a weapon. Please be careful in general.
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It's never attractive to gloat.
Nor does superiority ever come off as a particularly attractive attribute.
But, consciously or not, some people speak or behave in a way that immediately suggests that they think they deserve to be treated differently, i.e better than others.
Or that they believe they simply are better than other people.
A recent Redditor was curious what sort of behavior struck other people as elitist or arrogant behavior by asking:
"What screams "I am entitled"?"
Where's the fire?
"Impatience in situations where it should be just universally understood that you need patience".- c7hu1hu.
Positions of power.
"I will have you fired!"- Vergo27.
"Generally just leaving something for someone else to deal with."- Splatty_boi_420.Season 3 Reaction GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
Sorry, but I was here first.
"People who cut in line."- Chad_Farthousse.
"People who ignore lines and cut in the front, like their time is more important than every other person patiently queueing."- ofsquire.
"Do you know who I am!?!"- ThoriumLad.Organized Crime Nbc GIF by Law & OrderGiphy
No one loves a tattletale.
“I’ll call my dad and tell him what you did!”- ROAM300.
Ever heard of quid pro quo?
"When they do something to you and think it’s fine but when you do it in return and they freak out."- Silvero129.
Name your price.
"I work as a ticket seller for a ski resort."
"My favorite entitled person is the guy who, upon finding out that the kid's ski lesson was sold out, offered to pay extra if I would kick someone else's kid out so his kid could have a spot."- Floranagirl.
"People who brag about their parents’ money."- SpecialExamination41.Hustling Music Video GIFGiphy
Perhaps one of the most obvious ways to unwittingly show off your entitlement?
By being oblivious to how entitled you are.
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There's something about the woods that creeps me out. Listen here, people: I'm a city guy. The idea of getting lost out there freaks me out. No thank you. I wasn't made for that. The rest of you who like to go camping and stuff? You do you. I'll stick with my running water.
But maybe I've seen too many horror movies. After all, if I saw some creepy stuff in the woods I'd definitely run in the other direction. And so would you, right? Right?
People shared their best stories with us after Redditor shantics asked the online community,
"What have you seen in the woods that you can’t explain?"
"I stepped on what I thought was a small rock but it turned out to be weird and gelatinous. I've also seen tombstones in the woods."
You just suprised it. Rocks are soft and squishy, they just tense up when you touch them! /s
"I was hiking through the remnants..."
"I was hiking through the remnants of a remote, long-abandoned town and the surrounding area. To get to as far into the woods as I was, you had to cross fallen trees over a creek three times. I had just crossed the third "bridge" and was about five miles in and something blue caught my eye just ahead of me."
"There was a man, in his sixties at least, wearing blue satin pajamas, sitting in a tree. The closer I got to him the louder he laughed; it wasn't a maniacal laugh, but it set off all the alarms in my head nevertheless. He also wasn't wearing any shoes and looked well-groomed/cleaned."
"I gave him a friendly nod as I passed and he just kept laughing. Then it stopped. I turned and he was gone. There was no branch cracking, plants rustling, nothing... He was just gone."
"Still rubs me the wrong way. The area I was in was a pretty rough hike, very secluded. Not very many people venture as deep as I was that day. No idea what was going on there."
“Over the Third Bridge” would be a great title for a spooky book or movie.
"Neat as a pin..."
"Fully decorated Xmas tree. Middle of summer. Neat as a pin it was, as if it had just been finished. Who ever did it came back at some point and cleaned it up, because it wasn't there next I did that trail a week or so later."
This one’s not that uncommon actually. Lots of folks will decorate a tree in remembrance of someone out in the woods. Sucks when they don’t clean them up though.
"It's an interesting..."
"In Japan. A hotel was abandoned before it was ever finished being built. It only became a cement skeleton, about 5 stories high. It was left that way to eventually mold back into the forest around it."
It’s an interesting small building to explore. There are halls that are unlevel to the point of hitting your head on the ceiling (think: Willy Wonka)."
"There are stairwells that lead to nothing and one that leads to an unintentional hole in a cement wall. And on the top floor (but “inside” - as in, under the “roof”), is an old car - all smashed up - with seemingly no reason or method to have been up there."
This reminds me of those old abandoned amusement parks that pretty much exist to destroy me mentally.
"I once walked..."
"I once walked through the undergrowth (i.e. off the trail) with my then-girlfriend when we came across this spot where a few empty plastic bags were lying on the ground (strange because the woods are otherwise super clean), a pair of gloves and, most confusingly, the official ID card (= passport) of a young woman."
I would freak out and call the cops. That sounds like a murder scene.
"Many plastic bags..."
"Many plastic bags with nothing really in them but random odd things tied to trees. Sure, it could have been a homeless person but us kids att (like 12+) of us lived in those small woods behind the church every single day. We never saw anyone like that, ever. Passing through I guess, but why so many bags...still wonder."
Do we want to know what was in them? Probably not.
"When I was a teenager..."
"When I was a teenager, I worked at a fireworks stand that was run by my friend's family. It was in a rural area: they owned a few acres of land, had the fireworks tent at the front of the property and the house towards the back, but no lights in between. My friend's mother would prepare dinner for all the workers and we'd take turns going back to the house for dinner."
"One night, I was going to the house for dinner by myself. I felt something on my arm. I thought a bug might have landed on me, but it was really dark so I couldn't see anything. I stopped walking for a second. Then I started hearing this low, raspy breathing right next to me."
"There weren't any people around me and it didn't sound anything like a bug. It was like a slow, asthmatic wheeze."
"I started getting really freaked out. I reached my hand down to my arm and felt... something larger than I expected. I furiously rubbed my hands all across my body to try and dislodge whatever this thing was, then ran as fast as I could to the house. When I finally got to the safety of the house, I could see a small red mark on my arm, but that was it."
"To this day, it's probably the most freaked out I've ever been."
Chills reading this! Nooo thank you!
"Several very large holes..."
"Really big holes. Several very large holes, fairly close to each other, that seem to serve no purpose. Ten feet wide, deep enough that if you jumped in you’d have to have help getting out. Was someone preparing to bury a bunch of people? Was someone punishing their kid by making them dig holes? Did they hear there was buried treasure out there?"
"We’ve never figured it out."
How far apart? How neat were the holes? In a plantation or natural wood? Accessible by a small excavator?
"I once saw a huge pile of cat and dog skulls and bones about 100m from my cabin so we sold the cabin as soon as we could. It was creepy."
This definitely sounds like the beginning of a horror film. Did the ghosts follow you? Please report back.
"There's a small patch..."
"There's a small patch of woods where I live. You could walk across it in less than an hour. It's entirely safe and has marked trails. People somehow manage to get lost in there and I can't explain that."
Did they stumble across the bounds of time and space? That might explain it. But you might be underestimating how many people lack a sense of direction.
None of this makes you want to go out into the woods, huh? Yeah, we thought so. We'll pass the next time we get an offer to go camping somewhere.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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We're all not geniuses.
Everybody has varying degrees of knowledge and brain power.
And that is ok.
Though some of us are really lacking in any sense and every once and awhile people like to sugarcoat that fact when they call us out.
"Bless your heart."
That's a big one in the South. Means... "I like you, but Lord are you missing marbles."
Redditor MrMadJoker wanted to know the most creative ways to describe people who lack a few IQ points.
"What's your favorite euphemism for a dumb person?"
"You're missing a few pieces of the puzzle."
Said to me from my Geometry teacher. Now I know what he meant.
And... he was right.
"I could give them a penny for their thoughts and I'd get change back."
hopefulsite126tyler labine penny GIF by HULUGiphy
"He's got 2 brain cells left, and they're fighting for 3rd place."
"One more neuron and he'd have a synapse."
"The wheel is spinning but the hamster's dead."
"My old english teacher used to say 'I can smell the hamster burning.'"
"Bruh how u gonna do hamsters like that. Im dead 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣"
"You're the reason we have warning labels."
"My bosses comment about my non-too bright coworker 'you can’t get mad at her- she’s the reason shampoo has directions and she probably still f**ked it up…'”
"You see? Because of me, they have a warning label."
“The lights are on but no one’s home.”
Lovemesomecarrotsseason 1 s1 GIF by Dream Corp LLCGiphy
Ok... some of this is some good comedy.
"I'm an American, but I love when British folks call people Muppets. For a long time Europe has led the way in insult innovation, and I think it's time we caught up."
JonSnow31391The Muppet Show Muppets GIFGiphy
"Less useful than a chocolate teapot."
"My Physics teacher used to say 'more pointless than a chocolate fireguard' whenever we had pencils that were too blunt for graph drawing hahaha."
"German version of that is 'dumber than a piece of bread.'"
I Like Turkey
"Shouldn't be left in charge of a ham sandwich."
"I had a college professor who had met Gaddafi (God have mercy on him), the late dictator of Libya, and his impression was 'it would've been a shame to put that lunatic in charge of 10 chickens.'"
"Lol... for some reason this reminds me of Gordon Ramsay saying on Kitchen Nightmares that he wouldn’t trust a guy to run his bath, let alone his restaurant 😅."
No Top Floor
"Your elevator doesn't go to the top floor. You're as sharp as a marble. You'd be stuck for an answer at hello (that's from Classy Freddie Blassie you pencil necked geeks)."
"People tell me my elevator doesn't go the whole way to the top floor but I don't even HAVE an elevator."
"People tell me that too! We should go buy one~"
"My grandpa says: 'A lot of space between them ears.' Which is my absolute favorite, because a lot of people don't get it at first and just enforces the meaning."
Blobfish_BluesExcited Aww GIF by TikTokGiphy
Not all of us are going to break IQ records. That's ok. But these descriptions are funny.
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