At one point or another, many of us had to cohabitate with strangers.
It was a small sacrifice to pay in order to save money for tuition or to acclimate after moving to a new city.
But finding the perfect roommate is like winning the lottery.
One wrong pick would leave you with a Single White Female situation, and we all know how well that ends.
Complaints included a roommate who had a tendency of borrowing underwear; a woman who drank excessively and brought men home; a brother who spoke loudly on the phone at night; and a guy who practiced his saxophone – completely naked.
Do any of these roommates fit the description of someone who made your life an absolute nightmare to be with?
The Man Who Wore My Undies
"My first college roommate was the worst."
"He hated doing laundry and would 'borrow' my underwear, even though I told him not to in the clearest possible terms."
"Worse still, he'd wear my undies for a date, then return them used (unwashed). After he'd do that, it felt weird wearing them again - as if they were now his and no longer mine."
If Your Name Is Mindy, Proceed With Caution
"My first college roommate. She was a doozy. I should have known she would be awful."
"She insisted that she was going to bring everything to furnish the apartment because she had received it as gifts. The only thing she didn't have was a microwave. Cool. I brought one and some cooking stuff, along with my bedroom stuff. She then lorded over me that she supplied EVERYTHING for the apartment and I only brought a microwave."
"She had two boyfriends. One the 'safe' guy her parents liked and one not liked by parents. They didn't know about each other. If I answered the phone I was not supposed to say anything about what was doing."
"She had one matching set of panties/bra. She showed me and acted like it was a big f'king deal. She wore them for days at a time so each boyfriend saw her on them. And if she went out, she wore them."
"She was an alcoholic. Everyday day around 1 she brought back a 12 pack of Natty Light. It would be gone by evening."
"She brought men home from bars. I locked my door if I was home. I mostly ended up staying with friends or my boyfriend because I didn't feel safe. One time I got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. There was an old naked man in the hallway."
"I left after one semester. My boyfriend helped me move out while she was out at a bar. The lease was in her name and I didn't care."
"Mindy from SIU - if you're reading this f'k you."
My Nude Saxophonist
"My first roommate in college- we lived in the room below his girlfriend, and he'd call her every morning around 6 am and every night around 9 pm. Dude. Just go talk to her."
"He also was naked in the room. Like.. a lot. I'm not weird about that kind of thing, but he absolutely never wore clothes unless he needed to. It was strange."
"The nudity was made weirder by how needy/social he was. I'm a relatively reserved guy and did my best to keep to myself. If I was working on something for a while and didn't acknowledge him, he'd tap me on the shoulder and I'd have to turn around and have a conversation with a naked guy about why I'm avoiding him. I was never 'avoiding' him- I just never felt the urge to talk to him constantly."
"Also, he played the saxophone and practiced in our room (naked, of course) until I put a stop to it. Put yourself in my shoes for a moment. You're doing homework at your desk and are interrupted by a hairy naked guy playing the saxophone in our dorm room (very close quarters)."
"For those of you who aren't aware, the saxophone is not a quiet instrument."
Get It Together, Bruh
"My brother always is on his computer when im trying to sleep and talks to his friends loudly, bangs his desk, and watches videos on his phone with the sound on. Good sleep isn't a thing for me."
The Liar And A Thief
"Brent: both a liar and a thief, continually used my food, toothpaste, laundry detergent and most anything he needed. Drank my beer and when I asked, he denied it, I showed him the bottles in the trash and he still denied it."
"Tired of it, I switched my powdered detergent with powdered bleach and placed it back on the shelf. After several weeks, he ruined all of his clothes and never touched my detergent again. When he moved stole a bunch of tools from me too. He was and is a total a-hole, and the reason i lived alone after that."
These Are A Few Of Their Not-So-Favorite Things
"Not going to name him out of the sake of anonymity, but here are some of his offenses:"
- Leaving dirty plates and take out food containers in the living room with rotting food.
- Always had sex with the door open/cracked on purpose so people could hear.
- Walked around naked in the apartment.
- Constantly asking to use my car for like 20 minutes, but ended up being like 4 hours.
- Asks for you to spend all day at the apartment in case a package comes.
- Asks to cut his hair (I'm not a barber).
- His girlfriend moved in for a month without asking or splitting bills.
- Constantly forgot to pay the water bill, so shutoffs happened about once a month.
"After that I was done with roomates. Unless we're family or in a longterm stable relationship, then that's going to be a 'F'k no' for rooming together."
When Friendships Sour
"6 years ago, had moved out with a so called friend. I was pregnant and working two jobs (retail)(Walmart) had my son and still worked my a** off. Anyway she decided to let a mutual friend bring a guy over so the friend could use her room for you know what. I told her that's a bad idea and I would never allow anyone to have sex in my bed if it ain't me lol. She decided it's okay. She didn't come home that night so our mutual friend came over with her bf, they did their thing and stayed the night. Roommate decided to pop up back home around 6am.
Mind you I had a baby 3-4 months old, just got off work so I was asleep. The audacity of this heiffa to come in the house mad with her kid seeing the mutual friend laid up in her bed with the guy pissed her off(but she had agreed to it) she starts yelling ain't nobody sleeping in here, swung my mf door open telling me I was a bad roommate for letting it happen etc. I told her I'm not your momma and you allowed and okayed her to do it."
"Long story short she had to sign off so I can get off the lease that day to which she did, then she got mad at me for calling to tell her I would cut off all utilities on this date so get your money up so you can put your name on them. She expected me to leave my name on the utilities but the bi*ch never wanted to pay on time and felt like I should've paid her half because my kids father which was overseas at the time would send money for his child. She called me to tell me she wanted to fight but be friends again and I told her we're not friends nor will we ever be in this lifetime or the next. That was years ago and I wiped my hands with that situation, learned my lesson."
You Don't Want To End Up With This Guy
"Guy I lived with my first two years of college. Got put in a 6 man suite and he wasn't bad at first but slowly unveiled his inner sociopath. Stink like dogsh*t because he was from a wealthy family and never had to do laundry before so he just wore dirty clothes all the time. Joined a frat at a non-party school so thought he was a big man on campus even though the frats are a joke here. Left his dirty clothes and food just lying around."
"Bullied his awkward sheltered roommate by 'purposely' trying to be as gross as possible so the kid would drive home every weekend and made fun of the kid for lying about where he transferred from (the bullied kid went to community first but claimed he had gone to Syracuse) when I just found out this year the bully hadn't played basketball at the school he had gone to before transferring like he'd claimed. He'd just straight up grab girls at the bar and start making out as his method of hooking up which worked occasionally but was generally just him borderline assaulting women. Guy manipulated people into thinking he was their friend but really just used people and convinced 4/6 of us to stay as a group to join with 4 other guys for the next year where he just got worse and worse and we all decided to not live with him for our last year."
"He's basically a pathological liar who feels the need to try to one-up everyone at every single possible chance but the cracks just keep popping up. A few weeks ago I was at the house of the other 4 people we lived with our second year (totally outside to avoid corona) and he just drunkenly showed up and tried to wrestle me because he knew I wrestled and always tried to prove he could beat me up. So he attacked me when I wasn't paying attention by going for a knee I'd torn back in March and I f'king hate this guy so much at this point I had to take him down and then he tried to tell everyone I actually attacked him randomly until someone called him out that he tried to sneak attack me. Dude is a total scumbag grasping at straws to be the 'big man' on campus."
Scratch That, THIS Is Who You'll Want To Avoid
"Told me he wanted to kill people to know what it felt like and dissect them, and that he had no sympathy or sorrow for death, then told me he wanted to manipulate me & was actively trying to find ways to do so. There were a lot of red flags leading up to this. but this casual conversation sent me into a two month dissociative state. I'm no longer mentally able to live with someone besides my mom for more then 3 days without getting overly paranoid and going down a horrible mental health rabbit hole."
Dude, Where's My Funnel?
"I had a funnel I kept in the cupboard that I would use when I made barbecue sauce. My roommate and I shared an apple TV and I could see his YouTube search history. One day I found 'How to give yourself a coffee enema with a funnel.' I looked in the fridge and found a half full pot of french press coffee and my funnel was nowhere to be found. Needless to say I never went looking for it."
Move Over Karen, And Meet "Taryn"
"I had this roommate in college named 'Taryn.' We were renting an apartment together because I had just moved to the area and our boyfriends knew each other."
"Unfortunately, Taryn was controlling and obsessed with being an 'adult.' I moved in a week before her and she wanted me to wait to buy anything without her. Seriously, she got mad when I told her I was shopping for a shower curtain. She made me send her pictures and nixed all of the ones I wanted (beach themed, polka dots, wavy lines, etc.) because they were 'immature' and in the end told me I could only buy a white one. With my own money!"
"We were supposed to be splitting rent evenly, but after the first month Taryn said she couldn't afford it and asked me if I would cover for her for a few months. She was in an unpaid program but would start getting paid in 4 months, so we agreed I would play an extra $100 for 4 months then we would switch. She never kept her end and never paid me back while bragging about all the things she was buying. She claimed that I should pay extra anyway since my room had an extra closet. Her room had 1 walk in closet and my room had 2 standards, so it was still the same size."
"The final straw was when she told me I had to get rid of my ESA because her boyfriends sister was allergic to cats. This was a cat that I got shortly after moving in, with her permission. I had a note from my psychologist and the landlord was aware and approved it. Taryn thought that her boyfriends sister should be more comfortable in our home than I should be."
"She did a lot more and I ended up leaving the moment my lease ended. She told me to take all my crap with me. So I did. All of the pots and pans were mine, the table and chairs were mine, the sofa was mine. Even her desk in her room was one she had 'borrowed' from me. And yes, I took the white shower curtain."
The Definition Of A Slob
"I lived in an apartment with several people, but the guy in the room next to mine was bad. We cook our own food, and he'd leave dirty caseroles in the sink. He'd take his food into his room and just stack used plates and such on his desk, eventually he had his own colony of fruit flies in his room. He'd excercise a lot, which I'd say is a virtue, except he left his dirty laundry on the floor, which developed an odor. He had a condition which required him to take medication at regular intervals, so he'd set an alarm for maybe 2 am. He did not wake from his alarm, I did. When I knocked on his door he did wake and take his medication. I also believe he stole from me, i.e. stuff I had in the fridge would go missing. He moved out, fortunately, and the guy who moved into his old room was a good guy."
Love 'Em Or Hate 'Em
"Children, hands down. They're demanding, messy, don't contribute, and you can't throw them out."
Horrible Zoo Keeper
"Rented a cheap room from an older lady for a few years. She was nice but house was cluttered and dirty. But the worst part was when her grown daughter moved back home. She was immature and entitled, absolutely loved herself. She wouldn't help out, left blood and pubic hair in the bathroom for others to deal with, and wouldn't take care of her pets. One time her mom went out of town for a week, and I realized after a few days the girl wasn't feeding/watering her birds... two of them were dead. But she loved to brag about her 'zoo'. She also would sneak her boyfriend over all the time even though her mom didn't want him there. She would even leave the bedroom door open while she was giving him a bj when me and her brother were home. I was so glad when I could afford to move out. You would think 20 years and 4 kids later she might have matured. But her sister tried to help her out and let her live there- she and her kids were rude and trashed her house, and wouldn't follow covid rules even though the sister has health issues. She finally kicked her out, and the girl cut her out of her life and made the kids do the same."
The key to any successful relationship is communication.
The ability to be open and receptive to what a significant other has to say, as well as the ability to be able to convey something weighing on one's mind, can be healing.
But depending on the circumstance, some things are better left unsaid.
Curious to hear examples of what those might be, Redditor FamiliarFarmer8356 asked:
"What's something you wish you could tell your partner without upsetting them?"
If there is conflict, there is a way to discuss and address the issue in a civil and respectful manner.
Things Just Happen
"Every bad thing that happens doesn't require someone to be blamed for it. And that someone doesn't always have to be me."
A Cornerstone Of A Successful Union
"One of the cornerstones of a good marriage, is knowing how to argue. I’d actually say that before a couple get married, they should check how their potential partner behaves in an argument. What are they like when they get angry. It’s important because no two individuals are going to agree all the time. And on those occasions, it’s important to remember not to belittle the other. Deal with the issue at hand. And especially, don’t argue in front of the kids. You have no idea how much lasting damage this causes."
"All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest - never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principles of equal partnership."
It's Not That Deep
"please stop complaining about everything."
"If you keep seeking out reasons to be miserable, you will find them."
"I'm tired of being dragged down with you."
There's no need to get defensive when there's something to discuss.
It's Not About You
"That some days I’m just tired from class and work and just want some me time, it’s not that I hate you my social battery is just running out."
"Her first reaction to something adverse doesn't have to be anger."
In The Words Of A Pirate
"In the wise words of captain Jack Sparrow sometimes:"
'the problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude toward the problem.'
It Takes Two To Tango
"That I wish she’d be more independent so she didn’t need my help for everything outside the house."
"That it’s a little disturbing how aggressively he drives when he’s grumpy… heavy on both gas and brakes, zooming in and out of traffic, swearing at people who make mistakes… very unlike him."
Sometimes the truth hurts when talking about members of the family.
A Real Assessment
"That her mother is not a good person."
"I told my husband that it's not that his family is nosy and overbearing, it's that I hate watching him cave and negotiate as if they have a right to behave like this, and I really hate when I'm the bad guy for wanting reasonable limits."
"It got worse, then it got better, FYI."
"His parents are greedy, selfish people and treat him like an atm."
There's definitely a fine line between withholding your thoughts to protect the person you love and being brutally honest.
If coming clean isn't going to resolve an issue, then it might be better to suck it up and deal with whatever frustrations you have about the other person.
It's up to you, but make sure the delivery doesn't come from a place of rage if you do decided to be totally transparent about your negative thoughts.
Every family has a black sheep or every family in its entirety are black sheep.
What is a "black sheep" anyway?
It used to mean a person who brought shame or embarrassment to a family, but it's more often used now to mean the member who is just very different from everyone else—sometimes in a good way.
Redditor Frozen_yoghurt123 asked:
"Who is the 'black sheep' of your family?"
I'm the black sheep or at least I'd like to think so.
"Probably my dad's cousin, who went to prison for murdering his lover's husband."
DW_555Oh My Wow GIFGiphy
"My Dad. He is the only one of 6 siblings who wasn't a huge f**k up. And yet, before my Grandma died she stated that he was her 'biggest disappointment.' He is estranged from his surviving siblings... not by his choice. It honestly blows my mind."
"Toxicity is often a group mindset thing; people don't want you to leave because they are dysfunctionally co-dependent on each other and need each other to justify their own shortcomings in life. A lot of the 'family loyalty' stuff is typically shouted loudest by those who are the least good idea to stay loyal towards."
"My great uncle who stole my great grandfathers identity, stole a couple million dollars, and ran off. No one even knew he was alive until my great grandfathers funeral in 2009. No one has seen him since. My grandma started to cry because she honestly thought he was dead."
"Everyone else just kind of nodded on his direction and went on with the rest of the funeral. I just remember being very confused because I was 9 and I had never met this guy who my dad pulled me aside and told me he was my great uncle. It was a few years later that I got the full story."
"According to my mean aunt, the 'matriarch' in her own mind, it's my twin brother because "he doesn't care about family now that he's a doctor." (He's a resident. Chief resident. He works ridiculous hours and spends the rest of the time recovering from work.)"
"According to my ex-MIL (who still counts because she's Son's grandma), it's me, for divorcing her son."
"According to everyone else, it's Mean Aunt. The rest of us are warm and caring and compassionate. We have our moments; all of us have been accidentally thoughtless or done something selfish once in a while, but we're not deliberately mean and snarky all the time."
"My immediate family are the black sheep of the entire family."
DarthDreganJohn Stamos Cheers GIF by GrandfatheredGiphy
Sounds like everyone has a little black sheep in them.
"By now, my brother for cutting off everyone because he prefers his rude, selfish, paranoid, narcissist wife over all of us."
"My wife is the black sheep of her family in the sense that she's the only one who isn't a rude, selfish, paranoid narcissist."
Lvcivs2311Joe Dirt Brother GIFGiphy
"Me. My granddaddy told me 'I’ve only had the sheriff knock on my door two times in my 80 years, and both times he was looking for you! 'I did some dumb sh*t, caused a little trouble, burned a few bridges but always managed to stay out of jail. Partly because my sister has kept an attorney on retainer for me since I was 16."
"My younger brother (2nd of 4) is a compulsive liar and it got him in a lot of little trouble as a teen, then he told his wife he graduated a big college when we're not even sure if he got his GED because he failed to graduate HS, went to some GED school and eventually just stopped going."
"IF he graduated college, he never mentioned he was going in the 4+ years it takes nor mention graduation or have a diploma. He's not a bad dude, but now family time is super awkward when he and his wife are talking about 'their' college team."
The NOT good girl...
"My aunt's daughter. She’s been in jail for drugs, stolen money from my aunt and other family members to use on drugs and physically abused my aunt. My aunt has tried getting her help, but nothing has worked. She’s just not a good person, and everyone in my family, except my aunt, doesn’t want anything to do with her. I haven’t seen her in 8 years now, and I’m happy about that."
"A former nun - my great aunt - left the religious life and got married. She called herself 'the black sheep of the family' because her habit was black."
Back2BachExcited Julie Andrews GIF by The Rodgers & Hammerstein OrganizationGiphy
Well the black sheep sound like the most interesting family members.
Sex is great, but there are more ways than one to accomplish that euphoric feeling without sex.
There are so many small, ordinary aspects of life that can just send a person and we come across them daily.
A good steak.
A home repair.
The things that make you say...
"I tingle all over."
Redditor OldAboba asked:
"What is the best non-sexual physical feeling you’ve ever felt?"
Adele. Adele live. She sends me.
FloatingRelaxed Exit Strategy GIF by Hannah Bronfman Giphy
"I got a professional full body (everything but my man parts) massage a few years back for the first and so far only time at a spa after the recommendation from a coworker. I felt like I was floating on a cloud for the next few days."
Through your nose...
"Sneezing when you're sick. Then you get that about 20 second feeling of breathing through your nose again and you like ahh that's what I aspire to at the moment."
"Or the very last sneeze of your illness. During a fire drill in high school, I was ambling out after fighting a head old for a few days. The alarm was killing my head which was already throbbing from the sinus pressure."
"I was nearing the field, well away from my classmates, when I cough/sneezed out a huge, green loogie - cleared it about three feet, no icky trail - and by the time I was walking back to the building I was feeling pretty much back to normal. No more head cold after that. Never had something like that ever happen again where there was such an abrupt end to the head cold."
"Right after a migraine goes away. It's almost a spiritual experience."
"This was going to be my answer. I was in the ER one time for a really bad migraine. They gave me what they called a 'migraine cocktail.' When they pushed it through the IV I could feel the cold liquid make its way through my body, up to my head. Once it hit my brain, the migraine was gone. It was pure ecstasy. Even better was that cocktail had Benadryl in it so I fell asleep not long after and slept so good."
"That stretch til you shake when you wake up."
"I once stretched too hard in the morning and got the worst calf cramp ever... it looked like a prune and I thought I would die from the pain. Couldn't stretch in bed for months afterwards out of fear it would happen again."
"When you move over 50, it turns into that stretch til you put your back into a muscle spasm that lasts days."
The ItchScratching Feel Good GIF by 60 Second DocsGiphy
"I had a cast and splint on both my legs for 2 months. When they cut it off, they scratched my legs for me and the itch was just top notch! Yeah."
Itching an itch can change a life.
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"When you're starving all day and devour a bomb a** meal."
Sleep for Life
"When you’ve been up for 20 hours+ and finally get into bed and you just know it’ll be the best sleep of your life."
"But man, after 36+ hours, the body sort of aches and it's hard to fall asleep despite being completely exhausted. Then the restless legs kick in... ugh. I do agree that a 20hr-ish stint is amazing to cuddle into, especially if you don't have to get up at any specific time the next day."
"Makes it better when you’ve been sleep deprived for weeks and know you have NO PLANS tomorrow and can sleep as much as you need."
"When you're absolutely busting for a pee and you can finally go!"
"Apparently there’s a thing called a 'pee-gasm' that people (usually women) have that causes an orgasmic feeling when you pee after holding it for a while! I’ve definitely experienced this and I’ve intentionally waited a while so I could have that good feeling... lol."
I Can Hear!!
"The feeling of water leaving your ear after being there all day."
"I had some impacted earwax for a week in one ear, and when it finally got removed it was the best feeling in the world. Initially it was like having a tv or radio in my ear that only had static, but then I could hear. Good god, I could hear. It was amazing."
"Oh man, and it’s WARM from being in your head, and the warmth makes the sensation of leaving even better."
A Good Restdog puppy GIFGiphy
"Sleeping in a warm blanket in winters."
"Or sleeping in a cold blanket in summer."
I am enthralled by all of those things.
People need to stop throwing out unwanted advice.
And when it is requested, think before you speak.
People with mental disorders don't need everyone telling them they have a fix like "exercise" or "herbal supplements."
Redditor Gold-Ad-2827 asked:
"People with mental disorders: What do you hate being told the most?"
I hated being told to just smile. You smile and go away.
Duhseth meyers GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy
"It's all in your head. Where else would it?! My colon?"
"Everybody goes through that."
"This saying makes my blood boil. Or the 'I was that age once too ya know' yeah no sh*t you were that age once. And just because you were that age once doesn’t mean we have the same experience."
"They try to minimize it."
"You're worried? Just stop."
"You're sad? Just don't be."
"You're compulsively binge eating? Eat less."
"Thanks for that stellar advice."
"Or even better, 'Just do it!' As if ADHD paralysis can be stopped with a can-do attitude."
"I get so frustrated when people treat the idea of 'holistic medicine' as some kind of woo. How does it escape so many people that the body works holistically? Even a lot of doctors seem to ignore this. It's very frustrating when you have 2 or 3 or 4 illnesses that are all affecting each other, and your 'physical health' is held distinct from your mental health, and nothing anyone is doing to treat you works because no one's looking at the whole system."
"I just got a lecture from a psychiatrist I am seeing about nutrition, and he apologized to me for doing so but I told him, 'No, I appreciate it. Do it for all your patients.' because it told me he's trying to look at the whole picture and actually fix what's wrong. It gave me faith in him."
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"You need to calm down."
"Never is the history of calm down has calm down ever caused anyone to calm down."
Calm down. I hate that one. You calm down.
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"When they try to give me tips on what to do, like bruh as if I didn't already try that."
"You don't look sad. No crap... that's so I can avoid having this conversation. Also depression isn't 'being sad' like people think."
"God, I hate this. It's because saying 'I'm depressed' has been standard for people expressing that they're slightly unhappy about something dumb like not getting enough croutons on their salad or some crap. Now that's just what everyone assumes you mean when you say you have depression."
"'Stop being lazy.'"
“'Lazy' is when you don’t want to do anything at all. 'Executive disfunction' is when you can do everything at all, but that one easy quick thing that you do want to do just makes you and your brain freeze completely days ahead. I’m tired of people not understand that even when I explain and look at me like I’m bullshitting instead."
Ways to Cope
"Maybe you should try praying harder. I did, He prescribed medication."
"Praying is a way to cope for a lot of people, I think. That's totally fine, but insisting on praying in lieu of getting real help or actually addressing the issue is when it is not only unhelpful, but dangerously detrimental."
"Religious people will bypass everyone’s cultures, identity, views, and feelings just to be right and make a point. it’s disgusting. I read somewhere that real so called Christianity is all wrong. The real faith is from the Aramaic history and all the meanings were misinterpreted and the stories and all were made up by Catholics wanting to control their people. Yuck."
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"As someone with OCD with a lot of attention to 'contamination', having someone try to explain contradictions in why I'm doing something that is technically unclean when I wouldn't do something that is technically clean due to OCD. There are a few doorknobs that I will not touch no matter how much you clean them in front of me and I know it makes no sense, if it made sense I wouldn't have OCD i'd just be cleanly."
Stop trying to be an armchair therapist. Be empathetic to people first.