They say it takes a village to raise a child, feels more like you need the world. Child rearing is one of the most rewarding yet difficult journeys in life. It's amazing parents male it through.
Redditor u/CatoPUA wanted the parents out there to discuss a few fun facts by asking.... Parents of Reddit, what were you not prepared for when raising a child?
It's not Me!
GiphyHow much and how quickly they become their own unique person, both like and totally unlike their parents. You think you're going to be raising a version of yourself but, nope! You have to figure out how to parent someone totally new. EleanorWasRight
"That" Talk.
Just how fast they hit puberty. I was a teenager when it started with me, my kids were both 10. elgiesmelgie
And how damn early they learn about sex and all sorts of things, mostly misinformation from their friends too 😑 You go to have "the talk" with them and they're like yeah yeah we already know this, and you're like what?! WreakingHavoc640
Hairy Beast.
Babies are hairy when they are first born. My beautiful daughter came out and looked like donkey Kong the first day. I was like uhhh dang she's gonna have a hard time in high school. crackerjeffbox
Seriously. I thought my little boy looked like a gorilla. He had a full head of hair along with hairy ears and back. This, coupled with the fact that there was goo smooshed in his hair that we couldn't wash for two days, meant that he definitely wasn't as cute as he could've been. Goddess182
Imperfection....
The anxiety that comes from the thought of saying or doing the wrong thing. You are going to be most of the reason they are the way they are when they're older. They totally depend on you to help them through everything and they don't even know it. I am pretty much constantly afraid that I'm handling things poorly, that I could be doing better for my kid but don't know how. It's rough sometimes. breadbirdbard
So many legs....
GiphyYou can have twins without a family history. I have identical twin girls, the ultrasound showed one. I brought up to the doctor that I feel two babies kicking before he said "that's because it has two legs." In delivery when I heard "there's another one" I wasn't actually in much shock. samatha1995
I Gots to pee...
The urgency of everything. I need to pee means "I felt the urge 20+ minutes ago but was busy playing now I'm about to pee my pants." I'm hungry means "my mood and behavior has progressively gotten worse for the last hour and you haven't noticed.
"If you don't feed me now I'm going full exorcist." I need help with homework means "I got an assignment months ago but I didn't want to do it it's half my grade and is due tomorrow." Everything is urgent because children are the worst procrastinators in the world. brettwvcut
No Time...
My baby was born, then about a week later was teething, then a week later was sitting up and crawling, then a week later was cruising, and now she is trying to stand and take her first steps.
It has actually been 9 months, but I swear to God it has only been these few couple weeks. Time just flies by so fast. If I didn't have video to prove that I was cuddling a little scrunch-faced potato all those months ago I would have sworn on my life she hadn't grown almost at all, but she is nearly triple the size! Reddit
Finding Confidence.
The anxiety that came with him going to school. He's been bullied, doesn't have many male friends, isn't very athletic, etc.
I take comfort in the fact that he does have good friends, he's passionate about being a school librarian, in the media team and being a part of the orchestra. He's starting to be more confident and he stays out of trouble. But God, it hurts so much when he's sad or upset or gets anxious in social situations. TITLE_OF_YO_SEXTAPE
Who are you?
I'm gonna be honest here. I'm a single dad and only have the one. I got lucky. Super lucky. My 5 year old is a damn rock star. From 6 months on he slept his nights through, never cried, eats everything, bed time is a breeze every single night. It's almost like he's too perfect to be real.
That's 99% of the time.
There are the very rare days where it's almost like a switch flips and he just has the worst day. These are incredibly rare though and getting rarer. Usually it comes after a poor night's sleep.
I guess for me personally the biggest thing I wasn't ready for was the sudden and polarizing change. Times I want to ask myself: "Who is this kid?" Theearthhasnoedges
The Hard Days.
GiphyHow much time and energy I'd have to put in to keep them from killing themselves.
Two teens — aged 14 and 18. Anxiety, depression, panic attacks, medications, therapists, hospitalizations, two suicide attempts. Trying to help them with this has been a huge part of our lives In the last 2 years.
I think we have a pretty "normal" happy household — husband and I happily married for 21 years, middle class, lots of love and laughter and support in our house. Yet our children are really struggling. 😰
It's hard being a teen now. I have fun memories of being in high school and I wanted that same experience for them. It was a real surprise to realize how dark things are for them. I was prepared for sleepless nights and terrible twos and all that. No one prepared me for this. SegoLil
SPLAT!
We didn't even have the nursery set up yet when my oldest was born. My husband was working like crazy to get extra hours so he could take 2 weeks off for the birth, and my parents were planning on coming out the next week to help set up the nursery and everything.
Then I went into labor 6 weeks early and had to have an emergency c-section.
Also, the projectile poop. I was definitely not expecting the violent, shoot all the way across the room and splat the wall like a power washer projectile poop that newborns have. Squirrelgirl25
The "Splat"....
GiphyThe purpose of your life becomes very simple yet endlessly stressful. I think what shocked me was how my job became accidental suicide watch 24/7. Not a joke. Children don't know anything and have very little comprehension of danger or risk.
Even after falling 100 times and hitting their heads on things that are very obviously in their way also 100 times, they continue essentially the same behavior, which is to be somewhat oblivious to their surroundings. Now daycare, where in my first week, the "teacher" covering from the actual daycare staff was found passed out on the ground next to my daughter, who was soaked in pee crying because she was embarrassed about trying to go potty (never has accidents), and when my ex woke her up (it was nap time), she BLAMED my daughter.
I'm surprised that woman is still alive after she said that to her mother only the 3rd day of daycare. Anyway, now I have to worry about other people who care a lot less about her to take care of her. It's lovely... airman842
No Preparation!
I was prepared for everything. I read baby and parenting books non stop for 9 months. I've had insomnia my whole life so not sleeping wasn't gonna be an issue. I wasn't prepared for the traumatic birth. He got stuck on my wife's pelvis and they nearly had to do an emergency bed side c section, but they got him out.
My wife was pouring blood, he was barely moving, the whole room was chaos with nurses and doctors everywhere. He was having trouble breathing and they kept him in the nursery overnight to monitor him. He had nerve damage in his right arm from being stuck and he could barely move it at first. It was a rough experience.
Then 2 weeks later we find 2 small blisters on him. Take him to the DR and they run a test and find out he has hsv-1. Most people have it by adulthood but it can be fatal to babies so we had to rush back to the hospital where he spent 3 weeks in the nicu getting treated. Wasn't prepared for that either. iiitsbacon
Adults Only!
How many fights I would have to put up with from adults. All these people who know what's best for you and your kid, willing to go to crazy over it. NANDINIA5
The Stool....
Toddler diarrhea- this is when your toddler has diarrhea, and you've been to the pediatrician multiple times, and they've been tested for all the food allergies, and you've had to take a stool sample to get checked for all kinds of parasites that could possibly be causing it, only to have everything come back negative and have the pediatrician tell you that some toddlers get massive diarrhea for MONTHS and there's no explanation and here's some prescription burn cream to use instead of regular diaper cream because the rash really is that bad even though the diaper is changed far more often than average.
Someone told me, when I was pregnant, that having a child is "like having your heart walking around outside your body," and it really is true. I fear bad things happening to him far more than I fear bad things happening to me. KLWK
Truth...
GiphyLearning my child has a number of disabilities and the difficulty in getting them diagnosed in the first place. bonkette
I'm Awake!
Chronic lack of sleep. My brain function plummeted for the first couple years with each kid. I was brain-foggy and volatile. It felt like I was sacrificing things that I didn't know I could sacrifice when I signed up for this, and it took a long time to adapt. I would absolutely do it all again but it was hard. Threeormorepeople
Needing a Recharge....
That they would be different from me. I think often when we have kids we think about all of our traits (by default the more positive ones) - and think about how our kids will be this and this, just like us.
My son is the total opposite of me. An introvert raising an active, extroverted, loud, all eyes on me - let's be seen son, with ADHD.
I recharge by quite moments and isolation while he needs to practically sit in my lap. It has been challenging because our needs are so different, and he is still too young to understand why.
This is a type of growing pain I didn't quite expect but I am learning to appreciate the journey. It will make both of us more empathetic and understanding people in the long run. dearDem
Being a Protector!!!
When the first old lecherous pervert ogled my 12 year old daughter and grunted in approval. I've never felt my blood boil more than that moment. Shadybeach
FREEDOM!!!
GiphyWhen I had my 1st baby, i was completely unprepared for the loss of autonomy. It's something no one told me about or mentioned in anyway. The feeling is profound and I grieved over it. You go from being your own person physically and mentally, but after a baby you're physically and mentally tied to the most needy and helpless of creatures.
Things like running to the grocery store aren't simple anymore. It gets easier the older they get, but I'm guessing it never truly goes away, because even when they move out I'll still worry about them. mr-the-cat
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.