<p>One Reddit user asked: </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jf7qpo/what_was_the_longest_5_minutes_of_your_life/" target="_blank">What was the longest 5 minutes of your life?</a></p><p>Some of these answers are heartbreaking, some are beautiful, some are awful. But they're all pretty relatable. </p>
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These Awkward Concerts
<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDU1OTQ1MC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyMTAyMzg3M30.6_tcAEMperYaPjLUrMQhUmsXcke8kgGMCfmG_mNVYV4/img.gif?width=980" id="0fa89" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="cc1aa11444cfdaa6b33d07489bf5248d" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />
schitts creek singing GIF by CBCGiphy<p>Having a grown man sing a song he wrote himself about love and friendship while playing his acoustic guitar and giving everyone in the small living room perfectly rationed eye contact.</p><p>There's a fine line between sweet and cringe when you play an instrument and sing to someone who didn't ask you to. The line is crossed when you stare directly into their eyes while doing it.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jf7qpo/what_was_the_longest_5_minutes_of_your_life/g9iq8nr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">mantrakid</a></p><p>Oh ! just laughed and cringed so much at this. You brought back a memory I have tried to suppress for years. Same situation but with a guy singing <em>Ain't No Sunshine</em>. Except he somehow slowed it down 4 fold its natural tempo and it isn't a fast song to begin with.</p><p>The guy couldn't hold a note and also kept leaving dramatic pauses in weird places and making his own percussion noises. Aint no......................sunshine when she's..........gone......bom bom........... bom. The entire room nearly popped their spleens trying not to laugh for the 9 minutes it took for him wail through the song.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jf7qpo/what_was_the_longest_5_minutes_of_your_life/g9iqx4a?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">nightmarename</a></p>
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A Few Weeks Early
<p>Our baby was born at 28 weeks (17 years ago)</p><p>The doctors immediately took him away from us.</p><p>We waited.</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jf7qpo/what_was_the_longest_5_minutes_of_your_life/g9ip5lg?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">alterperspective</a></p><p>Glad he made it! 😌 I know one born at 24 weeks 5 days. He's 20 now. NICU nurses, doctors, orderlies, even volunteers are the best in medicine. ♥️</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jf7qpo/what_was_the_longest_5_minutes_of_your_life/g9iticz?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">winedogmom88</a></p><p>I was born at 29 weeks 35 years ago, just under 3lbs. Dr said 50/50 shot I would survive the first night.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jf7qpo/what_was_the_longest_5_minutes_of_your_life/g9ki67j?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">its_its_not_its</a></p>
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Everything After The Intro
<p>Freshman year of college I took an introductory social psych course (the reason I included the course is to give you a scale — it was a large class with about 200 students). We were put in groups and had to deliver short presentations on papers, about 5 minutes in length.</p><p>I got lucky — or thought I did — when my group assigned parts. I was given the introduction, so my slides comprised of the names of our group members, the title of the paper, and a short summary of the abstract (which is already a summary of the paper).</p><p>My other group members filled out the method, experiment and discussion sections, and we came to an agreement that we would each present the slides we wrote, and answer any questions the professor asked only for our sections.</p><p>So, naturally, as a college freshman, I didn't read the other slides. And I definitely didn't read the whole paper (after all I read the abstract!).</p>
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<p>As I'm sitting in class the day of our presentation, I notice I can't really see my group members. Meanwhile, I dragged myself to class while feeling pretty sick, so I ignore this thought while digging for tissues. After a few minutes, I hear my professor repeating "If someone from group 5 can't come up and present you'll all get a zero." I leap up, my laptop in one hand and a collection of tissues in the other, and get to the front of the massive lecture hall.</p><p>And that's when I realize I'm alone. My group didn't show. I told the professor, and she says that I'll just have to present. Let me tell you — I absolutely killed my slides. I read the title of the paper like a pro. Then came the most excruciating and longest 5 minutes of my life.</p><p>I read off the slides, for every slide, occasionally misreading and having to go back. I stumbled. I tried to make it less obvious by expanding on points, but each time I just restated them using different words. The longer it went, the worse it got. And my nose got runnier and runnier, until I was forced to blow my nose in front of 200 classmates — except my tissues were missing, and so I simply sneezed snot onto my computer, said "oh gross" and moved on. Towards the end, I felt like I had been up there for an hour. So instead of including the last few slides (arguably the most important ones) I said "well, you get the gist of it" and skipped to the end. The professor only asked one question: "did you even try to do the assignment?"</p><p>When our group got our grade back we got a C (generous, but an easy A class). The professor's comment read "In future courses you will be expected to read the slides to yourself before reading them to the class. Presenter was not prepared."</p><p>Those five minutes still haunt me, but for what it's worth, in the years since I have always made sure I understood the <em>entire</em> presentation.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jf7qpo/what_was_the_longest_5_minutes_of_your_life/g9is9ws?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">MiggyTripleCrown</a></p>
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While Also Maybe Singing
<p>Sent my 4 year old daughter to a 1-week musical theater camp. So on performance day, they have a song they all sing together.</p><p>The song, which one of the teachers wrote, doesn't have any chorus or repetitions, like you would have in a song written for f'ing 4 year olds to sing. It's a 5 minute wall of text, which they're reading off of poster-board cue cards.</p><p>Seriously it's 4 year olds, the song should be like:</p><p>"I like to dance! I like to dance! I like to dance all day!!"</p><p>"I like to dance! I like to dance! I like to dance and play!!!"</p><p>But no it's like:</p><p>"The woods are filled with many creatures, and nature and other things. I walked along the river and found some rocks and stick and twigs. I saw a bird fly high in the sky and a fish swim in the lake." And another 4 minutes 50 seconds of kids who can barely read trying hard to read off a hand written cue card while also maybe singing.</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jf7qpo/what_was_the_longest_5_minutes_of_your_life/g9j1dub?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ebbfsharpee</a></p>
Shock Is Shockingly Awful
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elton john help GIF by RocketmanGiphy<p>Anaphylactic shock.</p><p>I had eaten something that had a <em>trace</em> of peanut (to which I am severely allergic) in it, and once we were aware of it, we figured if I took Benadryl I'd be fine.</p><p>Absolutely not.</p><p>The whole reaction lasted about an hour, from onset until complete stop, but at its worst (about 5 minutes), I wanted nothing more than to die. I specifically remember begging whatever god was out there to kill me and to make it stop. I lost my airway for about a minute and a half, and the next thing I know, I was in the hospital. Thankfully I lived to tell the tale, but those five minutes felt like years.</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jf7qpo/what_was_the_longest_5_minutes_of_your_life/g9iqtaj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">bagelpilot_</a></p>
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<p>Came here to tell my allergic reaction too! I was working as a mobile dog bather with my sister. We were grooming 3 golden retrievers and at the end of it I was wheezing really bad and my whole face and chest were turning red, my sister too said we'll get you some Benadryl from the store and it'll be fine. Less than 2 min down the road and she said I kinda started to turn bluish... and she called 911. Then it happened, I went to take a breath and NOTHING. People who haven't experienced it... it is the scariest thing. Your body knows you need to breath and you just get nothing.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jf7qpo/what_was_the_longest_5_minutes_of_your_life/g9jtdll?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">-kkmonster-</a></p>
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Lance Corporal J
<p>I was in the the Marines, random unit formation one morning.</p><p>The night before my best friend, J, had stopped by my place to grab some stuff I'd bought for him for the Marine Ball that coming weekend. I'd just got a new place with my new wife and we made plans for him to come over after the ball.</p><p>The first thing my Commander did was announce that he had bad news. Last night Lance Corporal J had died in an accident.</p><p>Trying to hold it together in that formation after finding out my best friend had died was the longest 10 minutes of my life.</p><p>Then came the next longest. </p><p>You can't talk about someone dying in the military until after the family has been officially notified. So our CO put us on a gag order about J's passing until he'd been notified that the family had been told and had time to break the news on their terms.</p><p>I was good friends with his fiance. She called me a hundred times that day trying to find out where J was and if he was okay. J had been on his way to see his fiance when he died , which is why she was calling me so soon after the fact. And I couldn't tell her sh*t. </p><p>That was the next longest 5 min in my life, except it was spread out over an entire day.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jf7qpo/what_was_the_longest_5_minutes_of_your_life/g9j6puy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">AlmightyLeprechaun</a></p>
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After Being Hit By A Car
<p>It might not have even been five minutes, but the time where I was on the ground after getting hit by a car not knowing if traffic had stopped, if anyone knew I was there, or if I was about to be run over too. I couldn't see through the blood and knew I was hurt so all I could do was scream.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jf7qpo/what_was_the_longest_5_minutes_of_your_life/g9is7tm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Sporkicide</a></p>
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A Brain Tumor Or Something
<p>I went to the ER because I had a headache so severe I legitimately thought my head would explode, and I have chronic migraines. After the meningitis test came back negative, they did a head CT. The resident doctor came and said they found something and her attending would be there shortly (don't know if that's standard or not?) </p><p>I thought I had a brain tumor or something. Turns out I have a Chiari malformation and my brain stem had become compressed. Not the worst diagnosis, but I was 20, had just moved to Seattle by myself, and was all alone in an ER thinking I was maybe going to die.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jf7qpo/what_was_the_longest_5_minutes_of_your_life/g9iuvx4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">aigret</a></p>
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After We Shut The Machines Down
<p>Waiting for my dad to pass after we shut the machines down that were keeping him alive. My mom and brother went into the room to be with him but I couldn't do it. Brother later told me I made the right decision.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jf7qpo/what_was_the_longest_5_minutes_of_your_life/g9j4biv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">BunnyBunny13</a></p><p>My dad unexpectedly was in the position where we had to shut the machines off. And honestly the sound that happens when they pull the ventilator out haunts me. The last Image have of my dad is him dying. It's not pleasant and I don't blame anyone for not wanting to experience that.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jf7qpo/what_was_the_longest_5_minutes_of_your_life/g9mdnf6?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">KelsasaurusRex21</a></p>
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How's Katherine?
<p>One of our twins was born with the cord wrapped around her neck. There was a gasp from the doctor and then what seemed like minutes while the NICU team got her breathing properly, all the while my wife who drugged for the c section kept asking 'how's Katherine?'</p><p>That cry was life changing.</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jf7qpo/what_was_the_longest_5_minutes_of_your_life/g9j64uv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">JHarrigan07</a></p>
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The Best And Worst Part
<p>Can I make it my longest three minutes?</p><p>I used to be a hospice nurse. As such I was often called to a client's home after they already died. Regardless of the timeline, we were required by law to assess for heart sounds and breathing for a full three minutes in order to officially pronounce the person dead. The scenario was always the same: Loved ones surrounded the bed, but at a slight distance as I'd enter the room. We would have a short conversation then I'd move to the bed, place my stethoscope over their heart, and listen for heart sounds while watching for signs of breathing. It never mattered how long the person had been dead, I could FEEL hopefulness oozing out of the family and loved ones. They knew in their brains there was no life there, but for every second of those looooong three minutes their hearts held out hope that somehow they might have been mistaken. The stories I was privy to after the pronouncement we sometimes beautiful, sometimes funny, but always heartwarming. Those times, when I had to pronounce a patient became simultaneously the worst and best part of that job.</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jf7qpo/what_was_the_longest_5_minutes_of_your_life/g9jo7sv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">gramosaurusflex</a></p>
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