Sometimes love isn't forever, and more often than not the end is closer to the beginning of the story than many would like to admit. The end of a marriage is no fun for anyone involved. It maybe a long time coming and a long awaited satisfaction but never fun. And the reasoning behind the severing of ties can be something only a fiction writer wishes they could think up. It may not be fun, but it's certainly never dull.
Redditor u/xancanreturns wanted to hear from lawyers about all the crazy, most bizarre reasons love fades by inquiring.... Divorce Lawyers of Reddit, what's the most outrageous reason someone filed for divorce?
How Law & Order....
Pleased Law And Order Svu GIF by SVUGiphyTo avoid prison. Guy came in saying he was going to be indicted for many things (the list would have been impressive if it wasn't also sickening). So, he wanted to marry his accomplice because he saw on TV that your spouse can't testify against you without your permission and the accomplice had cut a deal. He just needed to get this pesky marriage to his current wife dissolved.
They're both happily remarried.....
One straw really can break a camel's back. I'm related to a couple for whom the last straw was him laughing at a joke about how to light birthday candles.
Important context: things had been rocky for a while, and they'd gone back and forth with trial separations, counseling, renewal retreats, reconciliations that didn't quite last, etc. But then they were at their son's birthday party, and another relative started lighting the candles from the left side of the cake.
Wife: Why didn't you start from the center and light outward?
Relative: I thought about it, but I was worried you'd have nothing to complain about.
Husband: chuckles
Wife: storms out in tears, files for divorce the next week
Obviously, it would be dumb to say they divorced over the birthday candles, or over a joke. To her, him laughing at a joke that was made at her expense was a sign of the lack of respect between them. And she just couldn't take living with him if things were going to be like that.
They're both happily remarried and stayed civil as coparents.
"other wife"
Guy came in and wanted to divorce his wife because he found out that she was still married to some other guy. He then asked me if he needed to tell his "other wife" that he was married to this wife.
"Aah"
Billy Porter Tea GIF by Pose FXGiphyA man filed for divorce because he couldn't stand listening to his wife make the "aah" sound after every drink. Apparently it got to him over the years.
Oh Boy.... lemme tell you....
Oh boy I've been working at a family law firm for 3 years and I have seen/heard some crazy stuff.
For example:
- We handled the divorce for an older man (70s), bc he was cheating and wanted to be with his mistress. Two years go by, he comes back to divorce the mistress bc he's been cheating on HER with his first wife.
- Wife found photos of her husband dressed up as a ballerina.
- Husband files for divorce bc wife does cocaine. He brings us photos of her with coke on her bare boobs. Then admits he took the photos. Then admits he's the one with the coke habit.
- Wife filed for divorce bc she didn't want to relocate to a neighboring state for his promotion.
- Couple with "open marriage" both end up jealous and call different law firms, and file separate complaints for divorce within hours of each other. beloved_wolf
Woof....
Because she bought a $3500 dog as a surprise and when she sent him the picture he responded with "this kind of impulsive nonsense is why your family is poor."
He was very harsh, but damn, I have to agree with him. Don't waste your money, ladies and gents.
The Pics...
Overheard in court one day a woman wanted to divorce her husband because he likes taking pictures of trains, and had been doing so for years before.
If he was a major foamer, i can totally understand that. Some of those people drag their families around the country, chasing heritage units or trains that are hauling neat crap. Literally every Saturday i used to see the same dude in his minivan full of family, happily snapping pictures of us going by while his kids looked bored to tears and his wife (probably) contemplated pushing him in front of a train. I couldn't handle wasting all my free time with someone who just wants to foam at the mouth in excitement over trains.
No Crusts!
gordon ramsey idiot GIFGiphyHe a woman who made his sandwich wrong. Well, she made it with an end piece. So he divorced her.
We never.... you know....
I had a woman call and say she needed an annulment but couldn't find her husband, and hasn't seen him in years. I corrected her that it would be a divorce, not an annulment. She told me they never consummated the marriage so it couldn't be a divorce. I told her that hasn't been the law in a long time, and she fought me on it. I asked her how exactly she intended to prove to the judge - with evidence - that her marriage wasn't consummated, and that got her upset enough to hang up on me.
Jealous Much?
Saved By The Bell 90S GIF by PeacockTVGiphyShe saw him in bike shorts and said she could never be sexually attracted to him again.
I practically live on a bike path and let me tell you that some people shouldn't wear bike shorts. Or anything with spandex. Ever.
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"What is a NOT fun fact?"
Consdider Putting A Newspaper Down First...
"Bus seats are designed so that you cannot tell how dirty they really are."- SmallAndScarred
Alone in The Ocean...
"There is a whale called 52 Blue that only sings at their frequency meaning it can't communicate with other whales."
"It is nicknamed the loneliest whale on the planet."- TheLegendaryJet
Definitely Not Dry As a Bone...
"Your skeleton is w e t."- Genesis-Bae
Dance Halloween GIF by aurelGiphyPuts The Movement in Bowel Movement
"Your intestines will 'wriggle' themselves back into the correct position."
"Doctors who do any type of intestinal surgery don’t have to worry, too much, about how they put the intestines back in."-H010CR0N
Body And Soul Is An Understatement
"A certain type of angler fish reproduce via the Male burrowing into the side of the female, eventually fusing."
"The Male life is lost in the process."- Allceleatial
Never Actually Free
"People who survived the Holocaust and get Alzheimer's often think they are back in the camps."
"So they escape one of humanity's greatest horrors only to die in it 50 years later."- digitaldavegordon
One And The Same
"If you are an identical twin it is possible that you and your siblings identity’s were swapped and your parents never caught it."- m00n-b4b3
shining stanley kubrick GIFGiphyYou're Not Fooling Anyone
"Sometimes you're the bad guy."- StrenuouslySexy
Worth The Pain And Discomfort?
"When you get a sunburn, it's actually your cells dying so they don't get tumorous." - Reddit
Lasting A Long Time Might Be Cause For Concern...
"The reason you’re supposed to contact a doctor if you have an erection lasting longer than four hours is because prolonged priapism can lead to gangrene of the penis."
"Blood goes in, deoxygenates, but can’t leave, so there’s no way for fresh oxygenated blood to come in, causing the tissue to turn black and die."
"Don’t worry, though!"
"This can be treated by using a big syringe to suck the trapped blood out."- boopbaboop·
someone erection GIFGiphyWhen sharing a "fun fact" with a friend, it might be worthwhile to think about the information you're about to share.
And whether or not it is, in fact, "fun".
Instead, maybe share a tidbit, or "info"?
Even if neither roll of the tongue quite as easily...
"What’s an industry secret in the field you work in?"
Literal Money Grabbing Machines
"I design slot machines for casinos."
"Don’t play slots."- psychfan5
Speak When Spoken To!
"I'm an attorney."
"The secret is shut the f*ck up."- --IIII--------IIII--
They Are In Good Hands
"Managed boarding and grooming kennels for 8 years."
"The secret is that the employees actually do love your pets too."
"Even the difficult ones, most of us realize they just miss their people."
"The number of times I’ve weeped when a pet died, or spent way too many hours comforting a dog with separation anxiety, or spent hours off the clock with a boarder who needed to be rushed to a vet office, wouldn’t trade it for the world."
"Some pets just suck though, not gonna lie."- breadandbirds
Dogs Stripping GIF by Artero Professional LineGiphyThey Just Want To Go Home!
"I'm a server."
"No matter how much we insist it's 'okay' that you are keeping the entire restaurant open after we've closed, please know we are 100% lying."
"We will get fired if we deviate from anything other than pure delight that you are keeping us from going home."
"We dread it."
"Please don't believe us."- MorddSith187
Don't Be Fooled By The Price
"I used to work in jewelry."
"Most of the prettiest gemstones are also very affordable."
"Tanzanite is a beautiful purple and looks nicer than amethyst."
"Topaz comes in lots of colors, including a pretty blue color which can be as nice as aquamarine."
"Opals aren't as brightly rainbow hued as they look in pictures."- rubicks56
What Are You Looking At?!?!
"Almost every hairstylist gets the heebie jeebies when we shampoo your hair and you just stare up at us."
"CLOSE. YOUR. DAMN. EYES at the shampoo bowl!"- picklemetimberzz
Hair Wash GIF by ALLBLK (formerly known as UMC)GiphyYou're More Qualified Than You Think!
"Used to screen resumes for small companies."
"Job 'requirements' are more of a wish-list situation."
"Never let some unchecked boxes deter you from applying, you have no idea what the applicant pool is like."
"The biggest boon, especially at small companies, is someone who legitimately cares."- TwoPesetas
If You Wonder What Makes It So Delicious...
"There is way more butter than you think in almost every dish you eat at fancy restaurants, and that is usually the reason you won't see the amount of calories in each dish."
"5 years as a chef in Italian cuisine head chef, 8 years in an Italian kitchen."
" f I could recomend one guide book for you all to have in your kitchen it would be Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat: Mastering the Elements of Good Cooking by Samin Nosrat."
"Yes there are a plethora of others but this one is my personal favorite."- BackslashR
That's Why It Smells So Familiar!
"Former bath and body works associate here."
"The scents they 'discontinue' will come back with a different name and new marketing."
"They’re just recycling the scents."- xyenz08
Bath And Body Works Perfume GIF by Bath & Body Works Asia AustraliaGiphyNothing Wrong With A Second Opinion
"Some therapists/counselors are on the wrong side of the couch, so to speak."
"If you feel your mental health provider is unhinged, they may very well be."- FriktionalTales
Hearing secrets about certain industries divulged can be a blessing and a curse.
No one would complain about not wasting their money away on slot machines.
Though, health conscious people might not want to know what really goes into their food when they go out to eat...
"How do you feel about a 4 day work week?"
Improve Mental Health
"Working a 5 day work week just makes life seem so much more pointless."
"By the time I get the other things I need to do, grocery shopping, appointments, etc., done, it's Sunday night."
"A 4 day work week might give me time to play the piano I bought to combat depression."- IHateCarShopping123
It Works, As Long As You Go All Or Nothing...
"My employer gives us every other Friday off."
"We work 80 hours over 9 days (M-F, M-Th)."
"It’s really helpful to have those Fridays to schedule appointments, and I have less desire to burn PTO throughout the year just to take a much-needed Friday off."
"Through the end of October, I had only used 2.5 PTO hours for the year, mostly for doctor’s visit.
"The only real downside is that on the Fridays that we do work, nobody wants to do anything."- MuppetHolocaust
No Downside Whatsoever
"My company switched to 4 10 hour days."
"We are diesel technicians and work 7-5:30."
"Half of us work Monday through Thursday and the other half work Tuesday through Friday."
"We have did this for over two years and we all love it."
"It is so nice to have a three day weekend every week."
"Another thing about it that is nice is if you doctors appointment or something I can make it on a Monday and don’t have to miss any work."
"Plus I forgot to mention having a two month this helps out a ton."
"More time for me to be with my wife and daughter."
"And if there is a lot to do I can just come in on Monday and boom 10 hours of overtime."- skatermofo101
Working For The WeekendGiphyBut Would You Hate Tuesdays?...
"I would probably hate Mondays less."- tonksdc
So Much More Time To Devote To House And Home!
"Life would be that much better."
"I would have somewhere around 50 extra days a year to do all the yard work and home projects that I don't want to spend all weekend doing."- forman98
Yet It Still Hasn't Caught On?
"They talked about this in the 70s."
"Yay everyone said."
"My dad did it."
"He worked 4 12+ hr days and took off Friday."
"Everyone else was like, if I work the 12 hrs the 4 days plus another 12, I can make even more money!"
"Yay!"- implodemode
Excited Jonah Hill GIF by MOODMANGiphyShow Me The Money!
"Provided there's no drop in salary, f*cking brilliant."- PM_ME_CURVES_OR_TOES
A Weekend Could Actually Feel Like A Weekend!
"I would gladly work 4 ten hour days to have an extra day off."
"2 day weekends are too short."
"They’re gone just as soon as you start to feel comfortable."- witdaSlime
When companies and organizations were forced to regroup and restructure when the global pandemic first hit in March of 2020, several companies also took the opportunity to re-evaluate their operations in the long term.
With all the evidence suggesting an overall improvement to everyone's mental and physical well-being that a four day work week provides, one can only hope it becomes more commonplace with each passing year.