Mom's Blistering Rant About Why Men Are To Blame For All Unwanted Pregnancies Goes Viral 🔥
Author Gabrielle Blair is causing some serious waves online with a Twitter thread that puts the blame for unwanted pregnancies squarely and solely on the shoulders of men. What makes the rant interesting is that it's not like others. Gabrielle doesn't insult anyone, she doesn't rant with anger or indignation, she just comes at the situation with calm cool logic — and it's got people a little bit shook.
Here's the thread - it's a long one but worth the read.
If you want to stop abortion, you need to prevent unwanted pregnancies. And men are 100% responsible for unwanted p… https://t.co/ztGZExHbsD— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536876946.0
But ALL unwanted pregnancies are caused by the irresponsible ejaculations of men. Period. Don’t believe me? Let me… https://t.co/ypIdVs096m— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536876946.0
That makes 24 days a year a women might get pregnant. But men can _cause_ pregnancy 365 days a year. In fact, if yo… https://t.co/Ie0pll50Rc— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536876946.0
And though their sperm gets crappier as they age, men can cause unwanted pregnancies from puberty till death. So ju… https://t.co/hMzyFQvEsj— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536876946.0
But what about birth control? If a woman doesn’t want to risk an unwanted pregnancy, why wouldn’t she just use birt… https://t.co/v7u0VbXQZL— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536876946.0
Modern birth control is possibly the greatest invention of the last century, and I am very grateful for it. It’s al… https://t.co/ye8WAHAOrZ— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536876947.0
… because of the side effects. And the list of side effects was about 1/3 as long as the known side effects for wom… https://t.co/nWnHuE56kU— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536876947.0
There’s a lot to be unpacked just in that story, but I’ll simply point out (in case you didn’t know) that as a soci… https://t.co/bg4Ddv4a8V— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536876947.0
But good news, Men: Even with the horrible side effects, women are still very willing to use birth control. Unfortu… https://t.co/5P8F7mjFSw— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536876947.0
In fact there are many people trying to make it more expensive by fighting to make sure insurance companies refuse… https://t.co/tL3JmI3oDN— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536876948.0
If we’re talking about the pill, it requires consistent daily use and doesn’t leave much room for mistakes, forgetf… https://t.co/t88w88SkHV— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536876948.0
I’m just saying women's birth control isn’t simple or easy. In contrast, let’s look at birth control for men, meani… https://t.co/WwTkdorQlR— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536876948.0
Men can keep them stocked up just in case, so they’re always prepared. Amazing! They are so much easier than birth… https://t.co/d2w41pciAi— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536876948.0
… or prevent us from climaxing. And the best part? Clean up is so much easier — no waddling to the toilet as your j… https://t.co/e2G3iNUltw— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536876949.0
Oh. I remember. Men _don’t_ love condoms. In fact, men frequently pressure women to have sex without a condom. An… https://t.co/GAeEp6MYeF— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536876949.0
Why would men want to have sex without a condom? Good question. Apparently it’s because for the minutes they are pe… https://t.co/kxMU50M3ed— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536876949.0
So… there are men willing to risk getting a woman pregnant — which means literally risking her life, her health, he… https://t.co/TaQ7fYQqsG— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536876949.0
So it’s not like sex with a condom is _not_ pleasurable, it’s just not _as_ pleasurable. An 8 instead of a 10. Let… https://t.co/YqixY1UgBy— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536876950.0
Now keep in mind, for the truly condom-averse, men also have a non-condom, always-ready birth control built right i… https://t.co/lYFSdwFmYP— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536876950.0
So surely, we can expect men who aren’t wearing a condom to at least pull out every time they have sex, right? Nope. And why not?— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536876950.0
Well, again, apparently it’s _slightly_ more pleasurable to climax inside a vagina than, say, on their partner’s st… https://t.co/eXRq1DR6wz— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536876951.0
It’s mind-boggling and disturbing when you realize that’s the choice men are making. And honestly, I’m not as mad a… https://t.co/T0amaNx8FZ— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536876951.0
While we’re here, let’s talk a bit more about pleasure and biology. Did you know that a man CAN'T get a woman pregn… https://t.co/ikMSaxstYD— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536877016.0
But did you further know that men CAN get a woman pregnant without HER feeling any pleasure at all? In fact, it’s t… https://t.co/Y9FWAlsbfT— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536877031.0
In contrast, a woman can have non-stop orgasms with or without a partner and never once get herself pregnant. A wom… https://t.co/g0s19fhCwr— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536877044.0
No matter how many orgasms she has, they won’t make her pregnant. Pregnancies can only happen when men have an orga… https://t.co/KZ9ZoV6iT2— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536877057.0
What this means is a women can be the sluttliest slut in the entire world who loves having orgasms all day long and… https://t.co/qcNRXz6L7S— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536877070.0
Women enjoying sex does not equal unwanted pregnancy and abortion. Men enjoying sex and having irresponsible ejacul… https://t.co/EYvr5VAaVz— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536877084.0
Let’s talk more about responsibility. Men often don’t know, and don’t ask, and don’t think to ask, if they’ve cause… https://t.co/8FQ6Tx9h34— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536877098.0
If the woman decides to have an abortion, the man may never know he caused an unwanted pregnancy with his irresponsible ejaculation.— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536877110.0
If the woman decides to have the baby, or put the baby up for adoption, the man may never know he caused an unwante… https://t.co/6sXRtSE7jq— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536877119.0
If the woman does tell him that he caused an unwanted pregnancy and that she’s having the baby, the closest thing t… https://t.co/i7JKUxsqVQ— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536877128.0
61% of men (or women) who are legally required to pay it, simply don’t. With little or no repercussions. Their cred… https://t.co/sG4PMzo1Hy— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536877138.0
When the topic of abortion comes up, men might think: Abortion is horrible; women should not have abortions. And ne… https://t.co/8zo2gRyQ0H— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536877155.0
Stop protesting at clinics. Stop shaming women. Stop trying to overturn abortion laws. If you actually care about r… https://t.co/RNyOh4sHqL— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536877166.0
What would that look like? What if there was a real and immediate consequence for men who cause an unwanted pregnan… https://t.co/4RoHtBMJHG— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536877188.0
… as forcing a woman to go through a 9-month unwanted pregnancy?— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536877196.0
In my experience, men really like their testicles. If irresponsible ejaculations were putting their balls at risk,… https://t.co/wzfK66fVod— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536877386.0
But is it worse than forcing 500,000 women a year to puke daily for months, gain 40 pounds, and then rip their bodi… https://t.co/9kdBC0rg9S— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536877386.0
Put a castration law on the books, implement the law, let the media tell the story, and in 3 months or less, tada!… https://t.co/Pkqtaa4djo— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536877386.0
For those of you who consider abortion to be murder, wouldn’t you be on board with having a handful of men castrate… https://t.co/Gvyoy6hXlz— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536877386.0
And if not, is that because you actually care more about policing women’s bodies, morality, and sexuality, than you… https://t.co/N3ff2dVMcZ— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536877386.0
Hey, you can even have the men who will be castrated bank their sperm before it happens — just in case they want to… https://t.co/KzYMpRrEW4— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536877387.0
Can’t wrap your head around a physical punishment for men? Even though you seem to be more than fine with physical… https://t.co/k0rVimwsyP— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536877387.0
Vasectomies are very safe, totally reversible, and about as invasive as an doctor's exam for a woman getting a birt… https://t.co/o6xaF0Sp63— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536877643.0
(So much better than The Pill, which is taken by millions of women in our country, the side effects of which are we… https://t.co/AC6BySW5mZ— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536877644.0
If/when the male becomes a responsible adult, and perhaps finds a mate, if they want to have a baby, the vasectomy… https://t.co/pWWXPsKy2f— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536877644.0
It's not that wild of an idea. 80% of males in the U.S. are circumcised, most as babies. And that's not reversible.— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536877644.0
Don’t like my ideas? That’s fine. I’m sure there are better ones. Go ahead and suggest your own ideas. My point is… https://t.co/SH1gizEExp— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536877644.0
If you want to stop abortions, you need to prevent the “disease" - meaning, unwanted pregnancies. And the only way… https://t.co/fEtZ8FW87w— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536877644.0
If you’re a man, what would the consequence need to be for you to never again ejaculate irresponsibly? Would it be… https://t.co/yQNsc0OJUW— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536877927.0
Ask yourselves: What would it take for you to value the life of your sexual partner more than your own temporary pleasure or convenience?— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536877927.0
Are you someone who learns better with analogies? Let’s try this one: Think of another great pleasure in life, let’… https://t.co/4XuF4x1qza— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536877927.0
What if you found out that every time you indulge in that favorite food you risked causing great physical and menta… https://t.co/BCo2JaBTeS— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536877928.0
Well, you’d probably be sad, but never indulge in that food again, right? Not worth the risk!— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536877928.0
And then, what if you further found out, there was a simple thing you could do before you ate that favorite food, a… https://t.co/kGQUKWN3wE— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536877928.0
BUT the simple thing you need to do makes the experience of eating the food slightly less pleasurable. To be clear,… https://t.co/RtrRTjteYS— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536877928.0
Would you be willing to do that simple thing, and eliminate the risk of causing pain to someone you know intimately… https://t.co/yiuue65O4p— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536877928.0
Condoms (or even pulling out) is that simple thing. Don’t put women at risk. Don’t choose to maximize your own plea… https://t.co/hyK0zX2H8D— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536877929.0
Men mostly run our government. Men mostly make the laws. And men could eliminate abortions in 3 months or less with… https://t.co/R597yxiLfz— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1536877929.0
WHEW! That was a long, but important read.
Discussing the topic of birth control and unwanted pregnancies can be a minefield. There isn't really a way to have the conversation without having to also discuss related topics that people are both passionate about, and incredibly uncomfortable with. Things like misogyny, feminism, rape culture, morals, religious beliefs, privilege, male entitlement, female sexuality, and social obligations all come if you're going to try and talk about this subject.
It's hard enough getting people to talk about any of those subjects without getting all worked up, so trying to talk about something that combines all of them and more is typically pretty messy. Gabrielle obviously understood the arguments she'd be up against, so she hit her readers with a hard and heavy dose of facts, references, and analogies. That doesn't make the topic any less difficult to navigate for some people, though.
As can be expected with this sort of thing, the responses were intense.
Some people absolutely agreed, even if they didn't like it.
@designmom The only thing I would add is that even in wanted pregnancies, sometimes there still needs to be an abor… https://t.co/y2fiItynbW— Janet (@Janet) 1536887100.0
@WeAreBokTV @designmom @SunCityDiane I just wanna say thank you, thank you for reading it all the way through, for… https://t.co/Gd7FHsLD9M— 🦁⚔️Anna Hawkins⚔️🦁 (@🦁⚔️Anna Hawkins⚔️🦁) 1536974173.0
@kiltannen It's true IUDs seem to work for some woman, but not for all. Let's remember, both condoms and vasectomie… https://t.co/BRvi9dbnfK— Gabrielle Blair (@Gabrielle Blair) 1537169434.0
@andys1960 @designmom And to think, not only have I always been responsible about my ejaculation, I've also always… https://t.co/GmI19MJ7fC— Joseph Musniskey (@Joseph Musniskey) 1537119902.0
@designmom @soulshine_raine My thought process (as a man) reading this thread: https://t.co/ttG1k28vii— Jake Walker (@Jake Walker) 1537147263.0
@designmom I'm pretty moderate in my beliefs and wanted to think you were going a little overboard with this, but..… https://t.co/zpLLqTwJs1— Carrie (@Carrie) 1537128048.0
The men's responses were particularly interesting - and divided.
@Justin25671135 @designmom It's the men who are not responsible for their actions who cause the problem, so let's f… https://t.co/EXm9RjkM3h— Alyn Adams (@Alyn Adams) 1536940358.0
@James_Mathewson @designmom @kit1811 So a man has to be a father have to a lot of interest in and care for women an… https://t.co/GPdcsSoMeL— Laura Rashley (@Laura Rashley) 1537022981.0
@designmom I don't even understand her argument and her theories are based on generalization. There's no study, no… https://t.co/Vkt7RUKuMY— Kene (@Kene) 1537174427.0
@designmom I read every single tweet and I haven’t heard anyone say it better. If men had to deal with the issues f… https://t.co/clKFFQ5ETS— Nate (@Nate) 1537161693.0
@designmom @krmercier Just say no to penetrative sex if the guy doesn’t wear a condom then? Like I said before, men… https://t.co/fzDUrFidu4— V || 532 hrs (@V || 532 hrs) 1536905741.0
@TownsendForNV @designmom From a dude who’s focused on solutions, we might expect better than deflection, no?— Steven Kabachia (@Steven Kabachia) 1537127634.0
@vincerCFO @designmom No, @designmom is not wrong. She’s so right and you’re so obviously in denial, I’m surprised… https://t.co/wd6W0yi9cz— Eric Morin (@Eric Morin) 1537112370.0
@designmom I find it funny (not) that all the responses that are "not all men" and "youre wrong" and generally disa… https://t.co/dsFIu8EAim— 🎄jingleboots🎄 (@🎄jingleboots🎄) 1537121447.0
Gabrielle's posts, her points and her rhetorically-posed solutions still have people talking. At the point of this article, her post has been shared over 70 thousand times and has more than 6,000 replies. We want your thoughts too, so sound off in the comments section.
And there are just as many grievances for which we are not at all sorry.
Curious to hear about people's track record of their questionable behavior, Redditor NanoPKx asked:
"What is something bad you have done with no regrets?"
Is it petty theft or flat out stealing? You decide.
The Parting Gift
"'Forgetting' to bring back a company ipad after they forgot about me having it. Actually they never asked for it back so I still have it and use it."
– Koetjeka
Furry Companion
"I stole a barn kitten while delivering packages for FedEx. He kept climbing my legs and getting into the van, sitting under the wheel when I tried to back out (it was a steep driveway, no way to swing the van around). I called the number on the package, looked the name up on facebook, called the local non-emergency to get contact info, all failed."
"So I took him. Now, if you're not from a rural environment, you might not understand that barn cats like that are 'no-man's-cats.' For all the owners know, he got sick or got got by a coyote. And he would have died, because when we got him to the vet he had a nasty upper resp infection and some other nasties."
"Now, one deformed nasal passage and the cutest snore later, we have a bonkers little orange cat with the heaviest penchant for snuggling I've ever seen (his name is Monty btw)."
"Edit: I forgot to pay my Cat Tax: https://imgur.com/a/HIXS4us"
"Edit Part 2: Monty loves the attention. Thank you for loving him as much as we do :3"
"MmmmMMMMRrrrrrrrrrrAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW" -Montgomerey Valentine, 2022
– SonOfSkinDealer
The Dirty Treat
"A housemate of mine kept eating mine and my girlfriends food and even though I asked him to stop the only thing he would ever say is 'I thought it was mine' then keep eating it."
"Well I bought my girlfriend some ice cream she really enjoys and she put the half she didn’t finish back in the freezer. Well when she want to get the rest it was gone and it made me madder than I think it probably should have."
"The very next time I saw him and somehow keeping a straight apologetic face I told him how he accidentally ate our sex ice cream and that bits of it had been on our parts etc. I told him I felt guilty not to tell him and that I had to apologise for him to eat such a thing."
"I will never forget the face he made when I told him. A face of pure self disgust and shock to which all he had to say was 'I wish you never told me that' and proceeded to move out around a month later."
"Although he didn’t actually eat sex ice cream, like why the f'k would you put it back after use anyway? Sometimes I wonder if I went to far but in that moment I just did not care at all. He still doesn’t know it isn’t true and I’ll probably never see him again."
"F'k you Vitas buy your own food."
– SpicyDolphin74
Vengeance is sweet.
Payback Time
"A drunk driver hit my parked car, left a huge dent in the front driver’s side door, and then drove away. I happened to be looking out the window at the time and saw the whole thing, including his plate number. Cops got there not long after and took my statement. After a couple days and a couple phone calls, I found out nothing was going to come of it because he was the son of the sheriff the next county over."
"Fast forward a couple months, I see his car parked behind a local bar within walking distance of my apartment. I got out my hunting knife and sliced all four of his tires, and made a couple trips around it destroying the paint job. Yellow Pontiac Sunfire, and I still remember the goddamn plate number even after almost 20 years."
– IgnoreMe304
For The People
"I was a GM for a retailer that was going out of business. During the liquidation I let my employees that worked until the end store product they wanted to buy in a closet I claimed I didn't have a key to. Oh the final days I sold them all the items they requested for 95% off. 70" tvs, ipads, gaming laptops whatever they requested."
– Midnights606
Surreptitious Swap
"Years ago I worked for a wealthy dude who was married to someone semi-famous. He would waltz in every morning and talk about the fantastic dinner he had the night before, how he hung out with some other famous person or whatever else."
"He paid me peanuts. I had a hard time making ends meet."
"I was the office assistant and IT guy. So it comes time to get a new computer for one of the designers. I spec something out, and show it to him. It was a ripper of a machine for the time (early 2000s). But it wasn’t expensive enough for bossman."
"So I added a really high end graphics card. Boss was happy then. The card added nothing for the designer: they only did illustrator and photoshop."
"So I came in that weekend and swapped the graphics card for my aging one from home."
"No one ever knew. Or cared. And I got a new graphics card."
– Dudeinairport
When times are tough, people had to do what it took to survive.
T.P. Crisis
"In college I was so poor I would steal toilet paper from the supply closet in our major building."
– Business_Loquat5658
Hungry College Buddy
"I stood watch for a college friend who was going hungry because he’d been disowned and his roommates had made living with him intolerable after he came out."
"I was loosely affiliated with an off campus program with local churches that gave free student dinners on Thursdays. We would go to church to eat, then bring dishes into the kitchen."
"Anyway, he would go in there and steal stuff like peanut butter, literal bread (not an allegory), granola bars etc. while I watched out for the pastor."
"Eventually we both got caught, the pastor for the college students got a bit mad because he was responsible for us while we were there to eat. And I think it was offensive on some level to steal from church. But then he saw what my friend was taking, and asked him if he had enough to eat. My friend shamefacedly said no, not usually."
“'Okay, fine. Put the food back, and come with me.' Took my friend grocery shopping instead, got him connected with the food pantry and community garden at church instead."
– SchnarchendeSchwein
Based on these examples, people didn't twice about their actions in the heat of the moment.
Within reason, we all gotta somehow get by.
But do you think their actions deserve punishment?
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
When a person sees someone they care about going through a struggle or crisis, their instinct is to uplift them with positive advice.
But sometimes, the wisdom imparted by friends isn't always helpful or relevant to the situation.
Curious to hear from strangers online who could do without specific knowledge, Redditor Saibotnl1 asked:
"What life advice can just f'k off?"
These Redditors have a problem with how certain people have on outlook on life.
Time To Rest
"Sleep when you’re dead."
"Cool, but you’re going to be dead a lot sooner."
– Tag2graff
Irrelevant Sadness
"People have it so much worse than you so don’t be sad!"
– notrachelmar
"To that I like to say, 'people have it so much better than you so don't be happy!'"
– ___jupiter____
Your Life Path
"Almost anything relating to what age you must be in order to buy a house, have children, marry, have a profession, or do anything else. Seriously, everyone's life is different from everyone else's. Make your life the way you want it to be. If you so desire. Up to you."
– Frn071
On The Contrary
“Cheaters never prosper”
"Yes, they f'king do."
– waqasnaseem07
People can get out of any situation they find displeasing.
But others feel people should just "stick it out."
Ignoring Bullies
"Just ignore bullys or get someone else to handle it for you. I have never seen this work, only makes it worse. The only effective way I've seen to deal with them is by not making yourself an easy target and make them scared to f'k with you again. If going psycho on their a** is the only thing they'll respond to that's their fault. Also want to add in schools they will punish you for self defense but that punishment is only sitting around a few hours in detention or sitting around at home with a suspension. The punishment is temporary boredom, it's absolutely nothing compared to being bullied and when it's over the important message will still stand that you will not tolerate being a victim."
– User Delted
Remain to be Miserable
"Stick it out"
"Whether that's sh**ty jobs, shi**y relationships, shi**y living situations..."
"By all means don't just give up on things when you face challenges, but if something feels wrong or is wrecking your peace then take some control and change it if you can!"
– petitezoey
"Easy for you to say," might be an auto-response to these suggestions for many people.
Invitation For Recklesslessness
"Live like everyday was your last"
Yall know what people do when they learn they have a single day left to live?"
– LimeGrass619
A Possible Consequence
"I did that as a teenager and ended up homeless and addicted to heroin. Didn’t pan out for me too well."
"19 years sober though today."
– Open-Section-7263
A Practical Approach
"If I knew with certainty that I had one day left, I'd double-check all my financials, my will, and my insurance policies, make sure my wife had all of my passwords and knew where all the money was, spend the rest of the day with her and the kids, then call the medical examiner and ask to lie down on the gurney so that when I die they won't strain their back moving my remains out of my house."
– Asteriad
Nose Stuck In A Book
"Work while they sleep. Study while they party"
"That's not a recipe for success, that's a recipe for a lot of white hairs, burnout syndrome and a stroke before your 40s..."
– Khomuna
Doesn't Apply To Everyone
"Do what you love and money will follow"
"I love walking my dogs and grilling food for my friends but That sh*t doesn't pay the bills as well as my engineering degree!"
– Elons_android
While people's intentions are good, they're better off keeping their two cents in their own pockets.
Not everyone likes to hear platitudes.
Sometimes, people just want to know they're not alone with their problems over listening to unlikely solutions that are nothing more than superficial pick-me-ups.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Kids start going to school from the age of five, and for the most part, they spend more time at school than at home. Because of that, teachers can become very important figures in the lives of their students.
Some students don't have the best home lives. Some keep it to themselves, but others confide in their teachers.
Curious about various situations, Redditor Delicious_Mastodon83 asked:
"teachers of reddit what is the saddest thing you found out about a student?"
In Need of Parents
"Not a teacher but was a school-based therapist. Had a student (7 -8 y/o) I didn’t know knock on my office door and ask if I’d adopt her and “if you have room, my brother too, but if not, that’s ok, we can be split up. We’re split up now. And I don’t take up space. I just need a sleeping bag”. Broke my heart."
– secretkpr
Heartbreaking, But Industrious
"My mom taught at a school in a bad neighborhood in Chicago in the mid 90’s. There was a second grader that would save his milk and ketchup packers from lunch for his mom so she had something to eat when she got home from work."
– PowerstrokeMe
Big-Hearted Mom
"Not a teacher but a parent with a 9 year old son. Every day I pack extra in my sons lunch because he tells me he has a friend that never has anything to eat. It's winter and my son came home and told me his friend was turning up with shorts and shirt and holes in his shoes. So I sent in a jumper and long pants for him to wear and some slightly used but good condition shoes. I have been up to the school recently and the teacher pulled me aside and thanked me profusely for helping this child. Apparently teachers are not allowed to aid kids they teach here in Australia and they have already reported the issue 3 times to child welfare without results so I was the only one helping this child. The teacher told me before I started sending in more food and clothes, this child would steal others food from their lunches and look through the bins because he was so hungry. They doubt he gets fed at home. So now I make sure to always send an extra lunch and some school clothes/supplies when I can. I can only hope child welfare eventually does something but it breaks my heart."
– spetzie55
Amazing Big Sister
"It was right after winter break and before class started I was just talking with some students and asked if they got anything fun for the holidays. One girl said on no, I don’t ever get presents, my mom is a drug addict. But I went out and got some stuff for my little sister so that she can have a real Christmas."
"She just said it so matter-of-fact. She was so used to being the parent to her little sister that she didn’t even care about her own childhood. It totally broke my heart."
– tonydanzascaulk
The Importance Of Human Affection
"Second hand story from my mom, elementary teacher for 30ish years. She had a hug or a handshake out the door policy, just some small contact and a proper goodbye, and had this young boy who always picked the hug. She wondered why he always went for it, most kids would go back and forth depending on their mood that day, so she asked him why he was always so excited for the end of day hug? His answer, "It's the only one I ever get.""
– needsawholecroissant
Coming Out The Other Side
"Two teenage boys (16/14) with learning disabilities were on my caseload, they never missed school but often ditched class. They were homeless mid-year after they went home from school to find the locks changed, their Mom had abandoned them for a new boyfriend. She didn't leave an address for them to find her."
"*Edit: both eventually dropped out, however a couple of years later the younger brother came back to visit. He and his brother were both working construction, and his brother had gotten married, had a child, and was living with his wife’s family."
"The younger had roommates and was saving for a car. He told me it was a shame I didn’t have kids, because I would make a good Dad."
"People often persevere, even with the odds stacked against them."
– Kursch50
True Parentification
"Not me but my daughter is a teacher, she has lots of stories but one that stands out for me is one of her kindergarten kids saying she was tired and her asking why, the little girl explained that she had been up all night with her mums newborn baby. She did this every night, fed her bottles and everything."
– lb47513343
Luckily, He Was Resilient
"This year I had a 17 year old kid enroll at my school. He was sitting in my math class and I could tell he was struggling. After class I took some extra time to go over a concept with him. I asked him to read the question to me, and he sat there silently. He then looked at me and said “I’m not going to lie to you, I cannot read. I have no idea how to say these words""
"Turned out at age 17 he was illiterate and had been kept out of school by his very religious, controlling parents. Over the past few months he has worked very hard! Now he can finally read at an 8th grade level and he is STILL improving!!"
– User Deleted
A Heroic Teacher
"I worked in an inner city charter school. One of my students (`M10) had a sib (M8) in a lower grade. The mom was there every day in the beginning of the year encouraging them, helping them and generally being very supportive... until a CPS agent spoke to me asking about her behavior. After CPS left things went downhill. The boys showed up late to class even though they lived a half block away from school. When in school both boys were tired from sleeping in the car while their mom "went fishing". She also had two very young girls which she dragged around making the boys take care of them. One day the boys didn't show up and their teacher walked over to the house to find the mom had loaded up the fridge, paid the rent for the month and abandoned them. The teacher (a candidate for sainthood btw) took them in, adopted them and grew them up to be great men."
– mopedarmy
This is really heartbreaking stuff! Luckily, teachers aren't just another adult in your life; they can be your saving grace as well.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
TRIGGER WARNING: This article contains sensitive content about depression and mental health.
As the stigma around mental health lessens (however slowly), people are more forthcoming about the problems they are facing. One of the most common mental health issues is depression.
Depression can affect many different types of people. Factors such as gender, race, nationality, and even age have no bearing on whether someone suffers from depression or not.
According to the World Health Organization (WHO), globally, "...an estimated 3.8% of the population affected, including 5.0% among adults and 5.7% among adults older than 60 years..."
Depression displays in certain patterns, such as mood changes, physical difficulties, and social isolation. However, depression manifests differently in different people and feels different to different people.
Reddit users divulged what depression felt like to them when Redditor iodineseaspray asked:
"What does depression feel like to you?"
Some of this is sure to sound familiar.
The Worst Kind Of Boredom
"Like being more bored than you could imagine but also not wanting to do anything at all, even breathe. So you want to do something, but you can't imagine anything that you would like to do so you're just sort of stuck."
– BuddhistSlater
"So you then spend literally hours staring at a blank wall hating yourself, your life, and everything around you. Well, as much hate as you can summon in the absolutely mentally numb state you find yourself sat in day after day."
– merryman1
Lack Of Motivation and Energy
"Complete lack of motivation."
"Ignoring people that I love, and who are trying to help."
"Just sh*t"
– HatFromStraw
"I feel it extra at work. Letting things slide until you either get into trouble or trying last minute to prevent it."
"Funny those times when I'm working to save my butt, the depression goes away and i feel super focused and motivated."
"I try to carry that energy over but no, it's rinse and repeat."
– ExtraBitterSpecial
Powerful Insecurity
"Insecure about absolutely everything, no hope for the future, dissociation from society and not knowing how to “act” anymore, feeling like I’m not as good at the things I always thought I was good at or that the “talent is wasted on me”, only food cheers me up and sometimes even that doesn’t work"
– tenamonth
Loss Of Creativity
"This. It's like some numb fuzziness you feel in your brain. It's the worst thing ever for an artist who just wants to create but your brain comes up dry with a dense fog that wants to just lie down for a few hours"
– FinnProtoyeen
A Mental Inability To Breathe
"For me, it feels like I’m in a lake with a ball chain tied to my feet, desperately swimming up for air, the only problem is the chain isn’t long enough. I can only get an inch of my head out of the water to breath, and as soon as a high tide comes, the water just floods over me and I feel like I can’t breath again. I live like this, constantly feeling like I’m struggling to breathe, weighed down by my own mind. It’s a struggle and I can’t really describe it in any other way, I’m jealous of people who don’t worry about depression"
– DrowningInBrokeness
"Like suffocating under a heavy cloak"
– kmartfreak
"Like being crushed. Like if the air was crushing my muscles and bones and I can’t breathe because I’m being crushed…"
"Kinda like that."
– Afreshnewsketckbook
Listlessness
"Scrolling thru your steam library. Thinking you want to play something, either not settling on anything or not wanting to put the effort into the game. Going back to the scrolling."
– Aistadar
"It feels like you're forced to play a game of Monopoly (represents life) and your just rolling the dice to appease everyone but you genuinely don't care about where you go, where you land, what you pick up, what you pay, what you gain."
"You kind of just watch it happen without interest and while people are cheering or oh no-ing for you, you genuinely don't care. Everyone is a piece on this board that hardly matters and you feel like we're all just running in a circle over and over again and it's boring and disinteresting as hell."
"You lose all curiosity for everything and just let everything happen and pass by you. No motivation, hardly any love, hardly any care. Feels like the world is in black and white and your waiting for the game to end became it's so absolutely boring and disinteresting, but it never does."
"You come to resent the game and eventually hate it because it feels like you're being forced to play it and suffer it's consequences when you never asked to play it in the first place."
"That's what depression felt like for me. Since then I've been medicated and recieved therapy. I'm doing a lot better now and I don't feel this way anymore, thankfully."
- KnlghtLlghts
A Relation To Fantasy
"You know that scene in the Lord of the Rings where Bilbo is describing to Galndalf what having the Ring all those years felt like? "I feel thin. Like too much jam spread over too much bread." That's honestly the best way I've seen to describe it."
– Electrical_Age_336
"I always say the closest thing to compare it to is a dementor in harry potter. It sucks every ounce of happiness out of you until there is only darkness left."
"Side note: chocolate always helps"
– sunfacer
Fear Of Lack Of Justification
"Like someone close to you died yesterday. Expect no one has, and nothing has happened to justify how you feel."
– AlterEdward
A Physical Pain
"Physical pain in my heart, will start crying just by attending to the physical sensation in my body."
– sagieday
Help Yourself
"I've always described it as having a shadow fixed to your brain which fuels things like indecision and negativity. You can do things to temporarily help but you can't truly shift it. Previous normality is forgotten. But it's amazing how much you can mask it."
"I found I didn't realise how bad I was until I started to get better"
"For anyone suffering with depression. Please, please speak to someone. Best thing I ever did"
– DavosLostFingers
Depression isn't something you can just deal with or get over. Learning to cope is not easy. However, as Redditor DavosLostFingers pointed out, talking to someone can literally save your life.
If you or anyone you know is struggling with depression, contact the American Psychological Association by phone at 800.374.2721 or 202.336.5500.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.