When most people think about a patient lying, they assume it's because they're looking for drugs - but doctors will tell you that's not always accurate.
People will fake illnesses for all sorts of reasons, and it's not always easy to tell when it's happening. That doesn't mean doctors can't tell, though.
Reddit user JawaanTaylor asked :
Doctors of reddit what was your "this person is obviously f*cking lying/faking" moment?
Seriously - people come up with some of the absolute BEST methods of faking it. Interestingly, a few people chimed in with moments doctors thought they were faking, but they weren't. So here's what we learned, if nothing else. Guys - you can NOT fake a seizure. Even if you pee on yourself. Just don't try.
Seizures Are Hard To Fake
Patient came in with "seizures", non specific weakness, light-headedness, and numbness/tingling in her hands and feet. She gets admitted because of some electrolyte issues (not related to the neuro symptoms, these were corrected later and symptoms persisted). Sure enough on the second day she "seizes". As soon as the diazepam is pushed (before the flush is even in) she stops seizing.
This happens again 3 hours later. The third time while she was seizing we took her hand and tried to drop it on her face twice. Both times she moved her hand out of the way so it wouldn't smack herself in the face. We just stood there until she got tired of shaking. It took about 5 minutes. She left AMA a few hours later.
- ericchen
Claimed she had seizures. Then she got on the ground, started rolling back and forth shouting "LA LA LA" at the top of her lungs. Legitimately thought she fooled people.
Had a patient start seizing in front of the cops after they were pulled over for possible drunk driving. We get there and patient is still on and off seizing. We get them on the stretcher and in the back of the ambulance, surprisingly the cop joins us. As I take their arm, the shakes start up again, so I tell them, "yo if you want this medication, I need you to stop so I can start and iv real quick..." patient stops to let me start the line, and once I say I'm done, they start back up.
- g_host7
A women was "having a seizure" when the attending looked at the other doctors and said "she's faking." The women stopped mid-seizure, glared, said "no i'm not you f*cking b*tch" the continuing her seizure.
"High Up On The Lifeguard Chair"
Giphy
Funniest story of my medical school career. We were rounding on the wards for a teenage son whose parents were in the room.
Dad: "Uhh, we saw our son tested positive for marijuana, this is clearly incorrect."
Attending: "There are some false positives but the test is pretty accurate."
Dad: "My son is a life guard, he would never smoke."
Son: "Yeah, I've never ever smoked" (looking scared AF)
Attending: "We can order a more sensitive test that will give a more accurate answer"
Son: "WELL..... I do sit really high up on the lifeguard chair and I think some of the kids around the pool smoke, so maybe I breathed in some of the smoke while working."
Team: Frantically ends conversation to leave the room and laugh hysterically.
They're Not Always Faking
My mother was an ER doctor, and her favorite story about an "obviously lying" patient ended up with a total plot twist.
Scruffy guy, mid-50s, comes in looking for nonspecific help. Confused, smelly, dressed in ragged mismatched thrift store suit -- clearly homeless and just looking for a bed or a fix, right? Keeps muttering something about quantum, obviously a little off his rocker.
Mom decides, might as well give him a workup and use the case to teach the residents. Turns out the guy's in near-total renal failure, so they give him dialysis.
Snaps to. Suddenly coherent. Suddenly sane. Suddenly talking about real actual quantum physics.
Turns out he's a math professor. Some organ problem sent him into a mental tailspin on his way to a conference a month earlier. In his confused state he got off the train in wrong city and had been wandering the streets ever since, missing and presumed dead.
They're not always faking.
Ruptured Pregnancy
Had a pt fake a ruptured ectopic pregnancy to get narcotics. Says she was diagnosed with an ectopic at another hospital and given medication to end it. Came in to our hospital in extreme abdominal pain, rolling around, yelling, had vaginal bleeding, the whole nine yards. Gave her a bunch of pain medication so we could get an ultrasound. Ultrasound showed nothing. Urine pregnancy test showed nothing. Beta HCG was 0..... Turns out she was conveniently on her period which made the whole thing very convincing.
Got records from the other hospital, patient had been there yesterday but was not pregnant for them, nor was she diagnosed with an ectopic pregnancy. Definitely was a "wow she just made up this entire thing"
We had a lovely conversation about all the results. She ended up screaming at me, threatening to sue me for all I'm worth and stormed out. Jokes on her I'm worth -$200K of student loan debt.
Comcast
I'm an EMT.
I had a woman that claimed she couldn't get up after a fall in her house. We arrived to her entire house being locked, so we called through a window that was cracked to see if there was any other way inside besides breaking through her screen.
She proceeds to stand up, go to the front door, unlock the door, walk back to where she was and lay back down. We did a generic checkup and there was clearly nothing wrong.
When she said she didn't want to go to the hospital and we were about to leave, she stopped us and asked us to call Comcast for her since we "are the EMS and are a higher priority."
- 1Darude1
Horse Sh*t
Not a doctor, but I am a patient who lied. Before my sobriety I did some "doctor shopping."
After that got hip I'd have to go around to urgent cares and stuff. I ended up "needing" something badly so went to my GP. I've been going to him for YEARS. Like since I was 18.
I told him I was sober and had tooth pain and back pain and other pains and had tried everything. Against what he was supposed to do he looked me dead in the eyes and said "both of us know what you're saying right now is complete horsesh*t."
Turns out my doctor was in AA. I ended up leaving after crying for 30 minutes. Got sober within the next 6 months. He goes to my home group and is still my doctor.
"Non-Organic Hearing Loss"
Had a patient come in for a hearing test; young guy in his mid twenties which is already unusual. Main issue is that he's getting noise complaints about his music. Huh.
No issues with his ears physically, so I do the hearing test - basically ends up with a profound hearing loss. Weird because that's basically sign-language territory there.
I walk behind him and ask him what his plans are for the evening, to which he responds appropriately.
Definitely what we call a "non-organic hearing loss". He was trying to get the results he wanted to justify being a d!ck of a neighbor.
A Scrambled Mess
3 year old having tonsil surgery, I run through my usual pre-op evaluation, history, and physical. Parents ensure that she hasn't had anything to eat or drink since the night before. Get her back to the OR, drift her off to sleep, and when I go to place the breathing tube, she vomits basically solid/completely undigested scrambled eggs and aspirates.
Surgery is canceled, we take her to the ICU. Parents obviously fed her breakfast less right before they came in. Confront the parents and they basically say they thought we were just being too mean not letting her eat for 8 hours. There is a reason we ask you not to eat for a period of time before surgery. It is not because we just like being d!cks. Listen to us, please.
- USMC0317
The Explosive Injury
I was getting the rundown on a patient once and the nurse said something about back pain and C4. Okay, he has some injury to his neck and it hurts. Nothing special.
Then I talked to the guy and nope.
He claimed someone had wired the explosive C4 into his back and:
1. It hurt.
2. He was afraid it would explode.
He wasn't a psych case. I don't know why he thought lying about explosives in his spine would be more believable than saying he was moving a couch or something, but whatever.
Code Blue
Giphy
EMS here
I had a patient who was pretending to suddenly be paralyzed. Very dramatic, on the floor, saying she couldn't feel anything below her neck. After assessing her, we had her stand and get on to the stretcher. Which she did without difficulty. Despite being "totally paralyzed".
In the ambulance, she told me how she "sometimes goes code blue". And how if she "goes code blue", I must NOT rub her chest or cause her pain. The best way to revive her was to turn the lights low, and talk softly and soothingly to her. She told me all about how she "went code blue" in the hospital over a dozen times last time she was admitted, and how the doctors were so scared they almost couldn't revive her.
During transport, I asked her for her birth date. Her eyes fluttered shut and she didn't respond. We drove in silence for several minutes (while I worked on documenting the very detailed and unrealistic history/story she had been telling me).
Eventually her eyes fluttered open and her hand went to her chest. She says "oh! I think I went code blue there for a minute!"
I replied "nope! No worries, you didn't! You're totally fine and your vitals were pristine! You don't have to worry, you're safe! So what's your birth date?"
She looked super annoyed.
Non-Smoker
"No. I don't smoke!"
"OK, the results should be back within the next 10 minutes, please hang out in the waiting room"
"Can I go out for a smoke?"
Tragic Falls
My aunt and my uncle are both nurses and worked in the emergency room.
Apparently, a lot of people "accidentally" fall on things and get those things stuck in the butt.
Central Line
We had an inmate in the hospital who had a warning posted on his chart. He would go in the bathroom and come back out claiming to have vomited (I think? Maybe it was diarrhea) large amounts of blood. After a while someone found an empty, bloody syringe in his sock. He had been drawing blood from his central line to fake a bleed. So much for all our efforts to keep the central line clean.
- anngrn
Back Spazm
Not a doctor, but I was being diagnosed with what ended up being bronchitis, and the dude across from us was trying to convince his doctor that he still has excessive back pain. The dude was able to sit through reception just fine, walk with the doctor, but the second he sat down he starts complaining.
"Ah, yeah it really doesn't feel any better"
"Ooh.."
Etc etc. the doctor starts lazily talking to him and after some X-rays the doctor says nothings wrong with him and that he can transfer him to a more specialized doctor
Well, that would cost him more money, so instead of taking the high road he starts trying to convince the doctor he's hurt.
After about five minutes the dude "collapses"
"AH, AH DOC MY BACKS SPAZZING HELP! I TOLD YOU I NEED MEDICINE!"
(At this point it was blatantly obvious this dude was just flailing on the floor in an attempt to get Percocet)
The doctor starts to laugh, and the man kinda just slowly stops and starts going off on him.
"Dude, get the f*ck out of my office"
the patient went f*cking berserk
He starts walking with the doctor, cussing him out and jumping around him like he's trying to latch onto his forehead.
The doctor calls security, they take him away screaming.
Hallelujah
Corrections Officer here.
I spend a lot of time in ER's with inmates, so I've seen some pretty crazy stuff...but the best "he's totally faking it" story was from a guy who fell down the stairs in a cell block and said he couldn't feel his legs. I take him up to the hospital and the doctor is going through all sorts of tests. Guy says he can't feel anything. So finally, as the doctor is standing at the foot of the bed he gives me a sly wink and then proceeds to quickly jab this dude's foot with a long metal needle. The inmate screams, pulls both his legs back towards him and starts swearing at the doctor.
Cool as a cucumber, the doctor then says "Hallelujah! I'll get started on your discharge paperwork so you can get him back to the jail." The whole time I couldn't stop laughing!
- Ayodep
Forgetting Symptoms
I shadowed a sleep doctor who had this pretty fake patient one time.
She came in for restless leg syndrome which seems quite legitimate. Then the doctor started to question her and she kept bringing up all of these symptoms she had that clearly were not tied to RLS. She was talking about things like arm pain and chest pain and snoring.She not only started manufacturing new symptoms but suddenly when the doctor asked about the old ones again she was incredibly inconsistent in recalling them. Finally, the doctor asked one more time, "Why are you here? and she couldn't answer him.
- PlushKar
Everyone Was On To Me
This thread is mortifying to read... as a teenager I frequently faked "fits" I have no idea why just one of those attention seeking idiot things. Always thought I was convincing. This has made it abundantly clear that everyone was on to me.
- Flikapea
Virgin Birth
Giphy
I'm a labor and delivery nurse. A young woman, early 20s, came to our main hospital's ED with her Mom complaining of stomach cramping. That is when she learned she was 9 months pregnant and in labor. Got sent over to the women's hospital, L&D. This young woman continually denied ever having sex - oral, vaginal or otherwise. Even after delivery she claimed it was immaculate conception. Very, very weird vibes from both her and her Mom.
We asked questions like: "Have you ever woken up and not remembered the night before?" and "Have you ever drank so much that you don't remember what happened?" because we were worried about her having been raped or assaulted. But she said she has never drank or done drugs.
It seemed like a young woman who was sexually active but didn't want her Mom to know. But her being college-aged, it seemed weird to be embarrassed about that.
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
Giphy
Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
Giphy
See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
homer simpson episode 23 GIF
Giphy
Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
Giphy
Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
Disney World GIF
Giphy
The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.