Husband Goes On Chore Strike While His Wife Is Pregnant, And The Internet Has Feelings
You need to do your fair share.

A pregnancy will lead to massive lifestyle changes. Creating a baby is no easy feat, so diets, work schedules, and sleep schedules all need to shift accordingly. Typically, if both parties involved in the pregnancy are on board and understand that it's a difficult transition to build a human eyeball in a stomach, the 9-month endeavor can go smoothly. If not? Well, then we get a situation like the one below.
Reddit user, u/Anonwife139, raised a few eyebrows when she told her story entitled:
My (30f) husband (36m) has gone on a chore strike
While strangely uncommon for a husband to go on a chore strike, perhaps it's for an understandable reason. Maybe it's to help redistribute the wealth or maybe he has a big project at work coming up and needs to really buckle down. That wouldn't change the fact he's a jerk, but still. It wasn't that, though, as Anonwife139 described:
My husband and I have been married for 6 years. We both work and have usually done a decent job of dividing the chores. I am 7 months pregnant with our first child.
Since becoming pregnant, certain chores have become really tough for me. For example, I have a lot of trouble doing the laundry because I can't bend/lift like I used to. I also struggle with things like cleaning the bathroom because I have to get down on the floor. The doctor has recommended that I cut way back on physical activity as it is.
I sat down with my husband and told him that we need to redistribute the chores and he got very upset. He said that I'm using the pregnancy as an excuse to be lazy and that he shouldn't have to do my chores. I suggested that we swap some chores because his usual chores (cooking, doing dishes) would be much easier for me to handle. He refuses to listen and said that he likes his chores and doesn't want to do mine.
Now I am trying to keep up with my responsibilities but have been falling short. My husband decided that since I'm not doing my half of the chores, he won't do his. Now I feel like I have to do all the essential housework because he refuses to take care of himself, me, or the house. With this on top of the job and the pregnancy, I'm not sure how much more I can handle. How can I address this and help him see how unreasonable he's being?
TLDR my husband refuses to swap chores to accommodate my pregnancy and now won't do chores at all
People most definitely had words for her layabout husband.
Let The Professionals Do Their Jobs
Dear god...
Well, I guess if I were you my next step would be to bring him to an OB/GYN appt and have the doctor explain why the chores need to be temporarily swapped. But wow OP. I really, REALLY wonder how your husband is going to handle midnight feedings and such.
Best Start Talking It Out Now
Good heavens, how's he going to be once you've actually given birth and need time to rest and heal?
I'd insist on marriage counseling, starting right now. For better or worse? Sickness and health? What the actual f-ck is he thinking?
Take It From Someone Who's Been There
My (soon to be ex) husband said almost those exact same words to me - that I was using the pregnancy as an excuse to be lazy. This was in the last couple weeks of pregnancy and I was miserable. He never did very much to help around the house or with our children. I spent another 11 years like that (there were other issues in our marriage, but this was a big one) and it was awful. Don't be me, OP. Set firm boundaries, go to couple's counseling, and if things don't change, leave. I'm sure it's scary to think about that since you have a baby on the way, but I was a single mom with my first child and it was easier than having my second child with my husband. Be strong- you got this.
Maybe A Big Change Is What You Need
Hey Op, do you live close to your parents or family? I'd suggest given your husband's petulance and lack of support that you move home for a while.
Cuz chores aren't an employment contract. They're the basic things you do to maintain your home and doing more because your spouse is pregnant and can't keep up is an absolute basic thing to expect from your husband.
Given his petulance, it sounds like you two need counselling. But given his current behaviour he's going to say nothing is wrong.
Not to mention physical labour is a bad idea at certain stages of the pregnancy. Basically, that's very little you can do about your husband at the moment (if at all). So move out and go home. Get some help from family or your parents or friends.
And hopefully this is the short, sharp shock he'll need to raise you guys need to talk to a relationship therapist and actually work at it.
(personally his refusal to do chores to begin with in the relationship would have made me dump him all those years back. Ugh. But well I assume there are reasons you want to stay married)
Walk A Ten Feet In Their Shoes
Maybe he should strap a 15-20 lb weight around his stomach and then try and complete his chores!
Fatherhood is going to hit him like a ton of bricks.
Edit: I was told 30 lbs would be more accurate.
Have The Signs Always Been There?
We both work and have usually done a decent job of dividing the chores.
hes always been touchy about the housework. It took a lot of time for me to convince him to do the chores he has now.
Uh huh.
How can I address this and help him see how unreasonable he's being?
At this point? By telling him he can either go with you to a marriage counselor or a divorce lawyer.
He's not just failing to do his chores through negligence. He is actively refusing to be a partner, or a member of your family. It honestly sounds like he doesn't care about you, or the pregnancy, at all.
Honestly, what was your relationship like before you got pregnant? Did you feel loved, cherished, emotionally supported?
Form A "Reality Check" Intervention
Time to call in the troops for a good old fashioned shaming.
Anyone from his side of the family, friends of his, your doctor, etc. They need to come together & get him to see he needs to cowboy up on this shiz.
You're seven months preggos. You're already doing extra work just by virtue OF GROWING A NEW HUMAN. He can scrub a toilet for a few months. Jesus.
Also, mother of 2 myself. I just read your post to my husband & he had some serious not-nice words for him which I will not repeat here but yeah, your husband/apparent first born is being a dingle. Call in whoever you have to to get him to see reason because what happens AFTER the baby arrives & you're stuck dealing with 4th trimester crap and TWO babies.
Find Solidarity In Those That Have FIxed Their Situations
I'm currently 9 months pregnant, found out I was pregnant at 4 weeks. Ever since then my husband has:
- done most of the cooking, dishes, and other kitchen stuff
- done almost all of the cleaning, especially anything laborious
- put together the nursery (painting, furniture, fixing the moulding, etc.)
- attended all of my ob/gyn appts with me
- run out to buy things for me when I need/want them
- generally been attentive to my needs
I'm not saying this to brag or be a jerk but because it is what I would expect a father to do. I'm carrying our son--he understands the toll that is taking on my physical and mental health. He loves me and is kind to me. Again, that seems like the bare MINIMUM you should expect from your life partner.
This is not going to get better when you have a baby in the house who cries all the time, needs feeding and changing on the hour, and deprives you both of sleep.
I strongly suggest you go to a counselor now to talk about expectations after the baby is born. And if he can't make some significant change and show some damn empathy.
The Beginning Of The End
This truly is the beginning of the end. This ball of yarn is eventually going to unravel. But, because of everything, naturally, you are going to try to make it work for a while longer. But always keep it in the back of your mind being married to someone that selfish is a house built on sand. Take every step and measure to protect yourself when it ends. Make sure you have income, a job, saving socked away, and your own separate attorney. I know you think we're all crazy for saying stuff like this.
But it is just one of those things that is obvious from a mile away but invisible when up close.
Escalation
Pregnancy is hard on your body and uses a lot of energy and resources... does he debate this?
You physically can't take laundry out of the washer at this size... what's his solution?
Your doctor believes your level of physical activity is harming the fetus... does he care?
I think you should move in with your mother for now. He has escalated his "response" by going on strike. Your ONLY OPTION here (other than doing all his chores) is to show him you are also willing to escalate.
Shutting Down
I agree with many people here who are saying marriage counseling. However, if he's been great for five years and is just now freaking out, then it's probably because he's freaking out about a lot more than chores. I bet he's the type of guy that likes routine. I would bet that he's scared of how crazy life is going to become after baby is born and this is him acting out.
This is a lot of speculation but I would bet this hits close to home. I would bring this up when you go to marriage counseling. However, he has shut down and you need to talk to someone soon. I don't think you should hit the object button though. Impending fatherhood is terrifying and I don't think everyone remembers that.
Maturity
This seems like a case of you ignoring what he tells you. You shouldn't have to convince your husband to do those work, I understand if you did. But are you truly surprised that he didn't want to do any more housework? Especially when he didn't want to do it in the first place?
While you're saying he's married a lot since you met him, that doesn't mean he's anywhere near mature enough for a baby.
Simple logic says, you are 7 months pregnant, n bending over is hard. Someone who refuses to see that isn't mature.
You have a long battle ahead of you, please open your eyes and prepare yourself to take care of that baby 24/7, because you won't have the energy to convince your husband to take care of your baby with you, you'll be doing that alone and he will barely lift a finger, I've seen it so many times.
Omen
Sounds like husband plans on being a Kodak Moment Father. I hope you're ready for him to just abandon you when it comes to baby maintenance and assume that you'll still do the housework in a timely manner even though you haven't slept in a week and you're still in pain and oozing god knows what from the birth.
This is an omen, OP. Husband thinks chores are women's work and you know it. If you still want to roll with this, have your doctor tell him face-to-face.
More Harm Than Good
My mother has a lifelong hernia because my father refused to lighten her burden after she'd just had a C-section. He said she was being lazy. I was so glad they eventually got divorced because it was indicative of exactly who he f***ing was in every way.
What would a person who loved you do?
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Time-Lapse Video Shows What A Rocket Launch Looks Like From Outer SpaceโAnd It's Dazzling ๐ฎ
We've all seen videos of rockets launching from the ground, but what does the event look like from space?
European Astronaut Alexander Gerst, on board the International Space Station, managed to capture time-lapse footage of the Russian Progress MS-10 cargo spacecraft flying through Earth's atmosphere on its way to delivering supplies to ISS.
Very few people will ever have the chance to see an event like this in person.
Russian Rocket Launch Seen by Space Station - Amazing Time-Lapse Video youtu.be
Gerst created the video by setting up a camera to take regular photos through the wrap-around Cupola window of the station, which resulted in a video roughly 16 times faster than real life. Watching the rocket launch in person took 16 minutes but, in Gerst's video, the launch, stage one re-entry, and escape from the atmosphere all occur within one minute.
@_TheSeaning @Space_Station That's awesome!โ Scott Waby (@Scott Waby) 1542898886.0
The rocket in the video, known as Progress 71, was on its way to delivering 5,652 pounds of supplies to ISS. The next flight, pushed back to December 3 after a sensor malfunction resulted in the cancellation of an October 11 liftoff, will bring replacement personnel for NASA astronaut Serena Auรฑรณn-Chancellor and Russian cosmonaut Sergey Prokopyev. Both have been in orbit since June).
If all goes according to plan, the Canadian astronaut David Saint-Jacques will take off from the steppes of Kazakhsโฆ https://t.co/o0LpNWTsJQโ CTV Vancouver (@CTV Vancouver) 1543800600.0
People online were amazed by the footage from space.
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@_TheSeaning @jasonrdavis @Space_Station SO COOOOLโ Justin Foley (@Justin Foley) 1542908365.0
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@BadAstronomer I watched this 5 times with my jaw on the floor... And then made everyone around the Thanksgiving taโฆ https://t.co/iMbSm8nvIOโ Marc Leatham (@Marc Leatham) 1542990342.0
@BadAstronomer @LongDogSecurity https://t.co/Yv3YZQI9Oeโ MO News DAilY (@MO News DAilY) 1543001454.0
@BadAstronomer I think thatโs the most beautiful photo of Earth Iโve ever seenโ Ben Migliore (@Ben Migliore) 1543092741.0
@freak1ngawesome Reverse of shooting starโ Shivani Jadeja (@Shivani Jadeja) 1543667552.0
@AntonioParis What an inspiring way to begin my day! Thank you! ๐ซ๐โ๐ปโ Heather Call-Me-Elf-One-More-Time Hartley (@Heather Call-Me-Elf-One-More-Time Hartley) 1543492212.0
Videos like these are a nice reminder that space truly is the final frontier! If ISS is looking for a soundtrack to put behind their video, we have an idea:
Star Trek: The Next Generation Intro HD youtu.be
White Supremacists Used App To Trick Brett Favre And Soulja Boy Into Recording Messages Supporting Anti-Semitism
White supremacists are truly a scourge. Every time they think you can't go lower, they find a new way to burrow underground and prove you completely wrong, as they did when they targeted two celebrities over the internet and tricked them into spewing garbage.
Brett Favre, star football player, and Soulja Boy, recording artists, were approached by a group claiming to be "a U.S. veterans organization for Cameo, a company that enables consumers to book personalized video greetings from celebrities."
Favre recorded the message, assuming the "request stemmed from [his] interest in veterans affairs" and recorded the message, a service that the perpetrators paid $500+ to complete.
Later on, Favre found his request was appropriated for the agenda of an anti-Semitic hate group.
"I was distressed to learn that the request came from an anti-Semitic group that reposted my video with comments implying that I endorsed their mission. Nothing could be further from the truth. I am therefore donating my $500 Cameo fee to Charities supporting their fight against hate and bigotry."
I'm on Cameo & kinda jealous they didn't request me. Maybe I need to lower my price? Most importantly Brett Favre dโฆ https://t.co/8hsC292nRsโ Tom Arnold (@Tom Arnold) 1543784713.0
@TomArnold How do you not know something is anti-Semitic. #ComeOnโ keith lyle (@keith lyle) 1543785859.0
@BuzzFeedNews Log everyone off everything nowโ Zinskฤ (@Zinskฤ) 1543635691.0
The organization refers to itself as the GDL, or Goyim Defense League. "Goyim" is the Hebrew word for a non-Jewish person.
According to BuzzFeed News, the group is run by two YouTubers who go by "Handsome Truth" and "Sway Guevara."
"Brett Favre here with a shoutout to the Handsome Truth and the GDL boys," they tricked Favre into saying. "You guys are patriots in my eyes. So keep waking them up and don't let the small get you down. Keep fighting, too, and don't ever forget the USS Liberty and the men and women who died on that day. God bless and take care."
The coded phrases here include "small" for "small hats," a slur for yarmulkes, and the USS Liberty:
"The USS Liberty is a dog whistle referring to an incident in 1967 where Israeli forces fired on the US spy ship, killing 34, during the Six-Day War. In the aftermath, Israel said that its pilots had thought the ship was an Egyptian vessel, and apologized โ the government eventually paid out $6.7 million in reparations to the survivors and families of the dead. Ever since, there have been unproven conspiracy theories surrounding the circumstances that question whether the attack was intentional. Both the Israeli and the United States governments have said that it was a case of mistaken identity."
Soulja Boy was also tricked by the group, recording a video saying "Shoutout to Handsome Truth and Sway at GDL," and "GDL for life, b*tch."
The head of the group, Handsome Truth, admitted to the deception in a Livestream on Wednesday:
"Here's the deal, guys, they can reject it if they don't like it, right, so we were trying to get it, like โ we wanted to be cryptic enough to where they would say it."
@BuzzFeedNews Sellebrities. I feel bad for people who are forced to treat themselves as products.โ TomCat (@TomCat) 1543635593.0
@BuzzFeedNews Only in America...way to go potus, maga sadly ๐๐ฅ๐ !!!โ S Johnson (@S Johnson) 1543677369.0
@BuzzFeedNews This is what happens when youโll do anything for money and fame...โ gwyn (@gwyn) 1543641284.0
@BuzzFeedNews What a load of garbage!โ Klopezdranat Tagor (@Klopezdranat Tagor) 1543682300.0
"Soulja Boy was unaware that the video on Cameo was tied to a group that promotes hate," said a Soulja Boy spokesperson. "The promo video was what the Cameo had directed and in no way supports his personal beliefs. He greatly apologizes to anyone who may have been offended."
The malice of this particular incident runs deep.
"On or about November 22nd, Cameo talent received requests that appeared to be aimed at supporting the American military. After recording the videos Cameo learned that the request came from an anti-Semitic group and contained content that could be interpreted as anti-Semitic," Cameo said in a statement to BuzzFeed News.
"This was a blatant misuse of the Cameo platform and a violation of Cameo's terms of service. This is the first incident of its kind in more than 93,000 Cameos and a gross misrepresentation of the talent's political beliefs," the statement continued. "Cameo immediately removed the videos from the website, requested YouTube to remove the content and created new filters to prevent this from happening in the future. The user has been banned from purchasing Cameos."
But will it quell the hate speech? Racism, anti-Semitism, homophobia, and misogyny have become commonplace since the election of Donald Trump, and it seems there are weekly incidents of that bigotry. Patrick Little, profiled by the Anti-Defamation League for spreading anti-Semitic hate speech, ran for State Senate in California, winning less than 2% of the vote and being barred from all California Republican events for his gross anti-Semitism. He greatly endorsed the white supremacists' actions.
If historical signs are correct, this sort of speech is likely to be misunderstood and catch fire, thereby inspiring even more hatred. The fight against bigotry must get stronger.
It only costs $500 to get Brett Favre to say something on video. So white supremacists used him to endorse anti-Semโฆ https://t.co/VdkFnujxrKโ Gabriel Snyder (@Gabriel Snyder) 1543780513.0
Alexa, show me 2018 in one headline. https://t.co/7HtmwySIU4 via @mashableโ Will Greenwald is still spooky in November (@Will Greenwald is still spooky in November) 1543754183.0
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H/T: BuzzFeed News, Mashable
This Store Clerk's Reaction To A Stolen Sneaker Prank Should Earn Him Employee Of The Month
Twitter user @HarvinthSkin decided to give a sales associate as his local shoe store a heart attack with a silly prank. All over the internet, people are sharing the prank and sending their well-wishes to the poor worker who experienced a moment of pure panic!
I had to give it a try? ๐๐คท๐พโโ๏ธ Instagram : @harvinthskin https://t.co/Am45kGWYLQโ Harvinth Skin (@Harvinth Skin) 1543237039.0
Don't worry too much about the unfortunate sales employee, howeverโit turns out he was given a raise as a consolation shortly thereafter!
I apologised and gave man like Martin a hug after that! ๐๐๐ JD Sports, give him a raise! ๐ต Do not try this unless youโre Zizan โ๏ธโ Harvinth Skin (@Harvinth Skin) 1543238141.0
The owner of the shoe store made clear to Skin that his employees were not to be messed with.
IM SO HAPPY THAT MAN LIKE MARTIN IS SEEN HERE WITH THE BOSS OF JD SPORTS ASIA AND IS GETTING A RAISE FOR HIS VALIANโฆ https://t.co/vL5QO2xCB5โ Harvinth Skin (@Harvinth Skin) 1543300966.0
The Big Boss of JD Sports MY! Fuck me ๐๐๐๐๐๐ https://t.co/nq3O0bdS92โ Harvinth Skin (@Harvinth Skin) 1543239495.0
On Twitter, people loved the sales clerk's reaction to Skin running out of the store.
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Some thought they may have reacted differently in the same situation...
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But everyone got a good laugh out of the innocent prank.
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The incident also gave us some priceless reactions!
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Remember, everyone: it's important to try before you buy!
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High School Administration Under Fire For Breaking Into A Bathroom Stall While Transgender Student Was Using It
Cece is a 16-year-old transgender girl from Maple Grove, Minnesota.
She is a student at Osseo Senior High School and recently had a traumatic experience at school.
On Wednesday, Cece posted two videos, one of which is very disturbing, to her Facebook regarding an incident she experienced.
While Cece was using the bathroom at school, staff forced their way into the stall she was in.
Again, Cece is 16 years old.
Her post reads:
"SCHOOL OSSEO SEINOR HIGH ๐จ
I Guess I Can't Use The Girls Bathroom Just Because I'm Transgender ๐ Share This & MAKE IT GO VIRAL โผ๏ธ I Been Violating By Principal and Admin and Hallmonters
This Was Today 11/28/18 ๐ Ms Smith Had Nothing To Do With This"
One video showed all of the school officials she wanted to publicly name who participated in the incident.
The other showed the actual incident.
Cece's self-recorded video shows her sitting on the toilet with her pants down while a school official uses a makeshift device to reach over the stall to unlock the door.
A spokesperson for Osseo Schools stated:
"Social media posts are significantly misrepresenting the incident and that staff works very hard every day to help ensure an inclusive school where all students feel welcome, respected and safe."
They refused to comment further saying:
"We wish we could provide additional details about this incident but are committed to protecting the student's right to data privacy."
Some reports claim that Cece had previously been told not to use the women's restroom.
However, in 2017 the Minnesota Department of Education (MDOE) ruled in favor of students like Cece.
MDOE guidance states:
"Transgender and gender nonconforming students should be afforded the opportunity to use the restroom of their choice."
People also can not help but note the fact that at age 16, Cece is a minor.
Adults forcing themselves into her stall while she used the bathroom is even more appalling.
Moriah Skai Kiskaden (Facebook)
Look, guys, when a kid is in the bathroom stall with their pants down, and you pry open the stall, exposing them toโฆ https://t.co/rzMktZEkEBโ Thomas Page (@Thomas Page) 1543690840
This should be sexual assault assault of a minor. Anyone involved should IMMEDIATELY be relieved from their positioโฆ https://t.co/M5ByUSBvBPโ CrystalshineMarie (@CrystalshineMarie) 1543626160
Regardless of the unknown circumstances, the internet is outraged over the adult school staff's actions.
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Transphobic adults literally busted the bathroom door open on a trans high school student today in Minnesota bc theโฆ https://t.co/rojArsFW9Qโ mother sister (@mother sister) 1543465561
Look at the face of the woman who has unlocked the bathroom door!Arrogant assholes https://t.co/X98JSgHgMxโ Teresa Culhane (@Teresa Culhane) 1543698568
Cece's video and story has indeed gone viral. But what happens now remains to be seen.
H/T: Pink News, Facebook, Daily Dot, Bring Me The News