This article is based on the AskReddit question "Haunted house actors, what's is the funniest thing you have seen while scaring people?"
[Source can be found at the end of the article]
1/15. I was working a tunnel in a haunted corn maze with a creepy mask on. I had a secret door I would come out of and appear behind people.
A couple walked through. The guy saw me and didn't jump so I held a finger to my lips and sneaked up beside his girlfriend. She reached her hand to hold her boyfriends hand. So I grabbed it and laced my fingers and we walked slowly forward together. A couple steps later she started to turn and say "I'm so freaked ou ... " we made eye contact and she screamed murder, and then passed out. Me and the boyfriend erupted in laughter and helped her to her feet. She was hitting him while screaming obscenities at him. Funniest job I've EVER had.
-samwise1st2
2/15. I was a talking head on a table. A group of five people led by a girl comes into my room and when the get close to me I say "Hello" fairly nonchalantly. The girl in front screams and falls backwards with a domino effect taking everyone else in her group with her.
-VikingRabies
3/15. Was a faceless hood trying to scare people from behind the curtains, but didn't hear them approaching, so I didn't manage to pop out to scare them. They pulled open the curtains and asked me which way the exit was. It was both humiliating and amusing .
-Darrenyankj
4/15. My brother worked at a haunted jail in my town. He said it was all going well until like an hour before it ended. Nobody was showing up and he had to take a leak. So he decides to piss in the corner. As he unzips and starts, he hears talking and commotion. Of course, he couldn't stop. So by the time that large group of people reached the cell and looked in expecting a scare, they saw a wolf man pissing in the corner. And he says, the only thing he did was turn his head and growl at them while pissing.
-Mishful_Thinking
5/15. I was the guy who opened the door when a group went from one room to another. I wore this black cloak that had a hood that almost entirely covered my face (was thin enough I could see through it). These two kids (13-15 years old) came around the corner as I was moving my head back and forth looking at people and one of them said "dude these animatronics suck". I took a single step forward and he screamed in a really high pitch and jumped so far back he smashed into the wall. His friend stopped moving for a solid minute to laugh at him.
-Scribeykins
Continue reading on the next page!
6/15. I got to work in the special VIP attraction last year at my local place, it's basically a really dark trail in the woods, but the actors are allowed to touch guests. Grabbing and pulling people off into the woods and whatnot. Hiding kind of sucks, I had to lay in the mud and grab at people's ankles and then chase after them, but the funniest goddamn thing is the world is the lanterns. We give them little electronic hand-lanterns as their only light source, and two guys have remotes that can turn them on and off. Every time, without fail, the guy's girlfriend is yelling at him to stop turning the lantern off. It's even better if you have a really dark costume because then you can walk up behind them, lay a hand on their shoulder and say "Yeah jerk, don't turn the lantern off!
-JustLetMeComment
7/15. I volunteered at one for a few years in high school. The best thing that happened was that I saw a girl from grade school going through the room. She obviously couldn't recognize me so as she passed I whispered her name. She got a huge fright and the next day she asked on Facebook who was working in the haunted house. I never told her who it was.
-brendan685
8/15. My costume was vaguely like the girl from The Ring, a year or two after the movie came out. Pink little girl's dress, long black wig over my face. I was pretty tiny back then and quite flexible, so I could contort myself in pretty creepy ways. Add a strobe light and you've got some terrifying movements. Without fail, it was always the huge football players in letter jackets who would absolutely lose their minds in my room screaming, trying to climb the walls to get away, breaking and running, the whole works. Usually their girlfriends would be standing by calmly. One guy's reaction was especially delicious. Once he saw me in the corner, contorted but slowly uncurling to drag myself across the floor, he screamed "Oh HELL no!" and ran through the nearest wall. Just took it right out (made of plywood, plaster, and some dry wall). Someone else ended up having to take him to first aid because because even once I was out of character he still couldn't stand to be near me. I won an award that year for Best Scarer.
-riotous_jocundity
9/15. I was a psycho chainsaw clown that chased people out of the exit of the haunt and I'd say the funniest thing is when people lose their minds and just fall all over each other. Also some people have literally zero survival instinct and when I jump out and chase them they don't run they just immediately cower into a corner. I would yell well isn't this awkward to make them laugh and usher them out. Girls throw more punches than guys do too.
-Wolfxskull
Continue reading on the next page!
10/15. I worked the last couple years volunteering at a haunted barn. Last year I was a nurse in charge of the insane asylum room. I wore scrubs and had my hair in weird pigtails. Lots of white makeup with dark circles under my eyes. I stood right where people walked in and I just stood still, no blinking, no head turning. I'd just follow them with my eyes. Many people thought I was one of the anamatronic. While people were focused on me trying to figure out if I was real or not, another guy would jump out of the coffin in a straight jacket and scare the crap out of people.
One night he scared a girl so bad she fell in the coffin with him and had her crotch in his face. He couldnt get her out because he was in a straight jacket so I had to go help lift her out, but I was laughing so hard it took longer than it should have.
-eternaladdictions
11/15. I was an actor at The Haunted Hotel (located in the basement of this huge building downtown San Diego) and one season, we had half a car attached to a track that can be pushed quickly forward, complete with a real working horn and headlights. So when people walk threw the pitch darkness, a staff member would shove the car into motion, blare the horn and the headlights simultaneously, blinding the guests and making them shit themselves.
I have never laughed this hard in my entire life at anything. People's reactions where absolutely horrified on a debilitating level, their faces were indescribable, Im talking 'preparing for death' faces. People would fall over backwards, men would push their dates in front of them... I couldn't breathe and my abs constantly hurt from barreling over laughing every night. Most incredible job I've ever had.
-BreezieDahlia
12/15. My friend and I worked in a room as crazed mechanics who were operating power tools on a dead woman. We used air compressed drills and acted out drilling into this dead woman. Ripping her head off and such. Now, like most places there's a no touching rule. However, the attachment bit to these drills are just cylinders so we could run them along surfaces to make metal grinding noises/ scare people. The wooden floor would vibrate violently if the drills were used on them.
Well, we had a group of teenage girls come in that were so scared of these drills and that we were going to "kill them" that they ran into the corner of our room, climbed a shelf and stayed up there in pure panic. We couldn't get them down for about ten minutes and had to act out the scene a few more times because other groups were sent in.
-crocoperson
Continue reading on the next page!
13/15. One year I worked as a tiny doll girl and talked in creepy child voice, asking them if they wanted to meet "Mr. Giggles," my favorite doll. Giggles is a 6.5' man with a chainsaw in a closet. Everything from flapping to screaming ensued, but the best was when some girl literally jumped into the baby crib in the room to escape himshe got stuck, he lifted her out, then picked up the chainsaw and chased her out while she screamed "I'm gonna piss my pants!" We still talk about it.
-bringingspicyback
14/15. I was stationed in a room in a costume that was way too tall for it. The costume sits on your shoulders, extends your arms by a couple feet, and towers over people. The entrance was in one corner, and the exit was in the corner right next to the entrance, so people really only had a fleeting glimpse at a dark room and a little motion before they were already out again. I got pretty bored, so I left my corner and blocked the exit.
A group of girls came through, and the one in front bumped into me. That's when I throw the arms out to the sides and start screaming. She starts screaming in terror, beating me in the face (creature's chest) and runs right into the corner I was supposed to be hiding in. So I chased her and boxed her in. Now she's punching me as hard as she can to try to escape, but I don't let up. She finally pushes me back with all her might and yells out "I just peed my pants!
-ChrisFRKNRogers
15/15. Oh a great number of things, as I've worked and ran haunts for nearly 20 years.
Some of my favorite moments:
1) Four gangsta wanna-be guys, late teens or early 20's. Acting all big and tough, we let them on through into the haunt. Minute later when they hit Regan's Room (we had a lifesize doll of Regan from Exorcist that would spin it's head and then squirt water on you from it's mouth) and we hear a bunch of 12 year old girls screaming.
"I didn't think there were any girls in that group?"
"There weren't..."
"Oh! haha! come on, we're missing it!"
These four gangsta wanna-be's screamed like little girls the entire way through, and by the end were running out of there all back to back to back to back spinning like a gawddam top so nothing could sneak up behind them.
2) Little old lady, had to be 80 dragging her two 60 year old sons by their hands into the haunt, telling them in the sweetest little old grandma voice you can imagine "Now now boys, don't be scared." She gets into the last room which was dressed as a movie theater where the entire screen would break open as a giant monster jumped out. She sat front row centre. (Continued)
Continue reading on the next page!
My friend literally got his phone out and dialed 911 and was waiting to hit Send. Monster jumps out 2 inches from her nose, she shrieks, and then just collapses. We all rush in, she turns and looks at us and starts laughing. "We have movement!"
3) Family of five pulls up to the haunt one year when me and a buddy are working the lines. Mom, dad, middle sister, younger brother all get out. Oldest daughter refuses to leave the SUV. Dad comes up to us, hands me the keys to the car, and says "Go get her and bring her in."
My friend and I look at each other, back at him, I stop and take my mask off. "Excuse me, I just want to make sure I heard this right. You are giving me the keys to your car and telling me that you want me to go drag your daughter out of your car, kicking and screaming?" "Yup." "YES SIR!"
We both jog over there, she sees us coming and locks the door and looks all smug. I hold up the key fob and click unlock. Her eyes go wide as she hits the lock again. We do that a couple of times before I walk up and put the key physically in the hatchback lock (auto lock won't function if the key is physically turning the lock to open it). We start crawling into the SUV over the back seats as she is scrambling reverse crab walk over them up between the bucket seats, where she actually goes into full blown hysterical paralyses and completely loses the ability to move or do anything.
We decide thats enough and go give the keys back to dad with "I think we broke her."
4) Any of the boyfriend/girlfriend couples where the boyfriend starts yelling "Take her! Take her!" or literally throwing their girlfriends at us so they can get away. It has become our standard response to catch the girlfriend, make sure she's steady, then yell after him "Dude, you're not getting any tonight after that stunt!" They suddenly look mad, and she usually starts yelling "Hell no you aren't, you threw me at the monsters!"
5) One year I'm doing the autopsy room. Body parts everywhere, a basket of intestines hanging from the ceiling, blood everywhere, you know the normal stuff. One night early on I had missed dinner, so I raided the candy bowl and grabbed a bunch of those fun sized Snickers and hid them in the gut basket. Group comes in faster than I expected just in time to see me take the candy bar out of the basket and pop it in my mouth.
A woman screams "Oh my GOD HE'S EATING POOP!"
She swears she saw me squeeze a big old lump of poop out of one of those intestines (which can't be true, they were made out of expanding insulation foam and painted, they were all solid). After that I started working that into my routine. Made more than one person vomit that year...
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
Giphy
Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
Giphy
See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
homer simpson episode 23 GIF
Giphy
Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
Giphy
Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
Disney World GIF
Giphy
The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.