Its that time of year again. Time to get scared and get spooky. Covid be damned, we can still find ways to enjoy Halloween. One of the staples of this time of festivity is Haunted Houses. In any given non-pandemic year they'd be everywhere. Over the last few decades the planning and launching of a House of Horrors has become an art form. In fact there are houses you have to sign waivers for in order to enter. So has to make one wonder, what sort of tales do the actors and people behind the scenes have to tell. They've seen it all.

Redditor u/thotthebot wanted to hear from the thespians who partake in creating spooks for the masses by asking them to chat about.... Haunted house workers, what is something that a guest had said or done that made you break character?

"Oh, HELL No!"

be quiet the walking dead GIF Giphy

I was an actor at a haunted house years ago. We had separate rooms connected by hallways for guests to walk through (like, there was a murder room, a haunted house room, a circus themed room, and a zombie room). I worked in the zombie room, and played a zombie.

The room was made up to look like a living room of a house that had been broken into by zombies-- furniture toppled over, lamps laying on the floor, the door hanging off the hinges, a broken window, blood everywhere, and a half-eaten body lying on the floor. I was to be hunched over the dead body, pretending to munch on it when the guests walked in. And I'll say, our make-up crew was skilled. I looked like something from The Walking Dead.

Well, this dude walks into my zombie room, he sees me hunched over the dead body, and I did this creepy thing where I slowly look up at him and stare with my mouth hanging open. He goes "Oh, HELL No!" and stumbled backwards onto the couch, tried to scramble off the couch, only to trip over the lamp that was on the floor, and wound up falling facedown on the floor.

I have to admit, I broke character and laughed. I couldn't help it.


"well I guess we don't go"

One night this couple comes in with a 3-4 year old girl. She is throwing a huge fit, kicking, screaming, crying, the whole 9 yards, she doesn't wanna go in.

Now, a logical human being would see this and say, "well I guess we don't go" but not these two idiots. They keep trying to force little girl to go through the house, but she won't budge. This is causing a bit of a scene as well as backing up the line. Myself and one or two other monsters tell them "look, you gotta either get her to go in, or you gotta leave, you're holding up the line" but they are adamant that she has to go through and she is not having it.

Now were pissed off because, why the hell are you trying to make this small child go through when she is obviously terrified and scared out of her freaking mind? We realize something has to happen, so we seek out one of the girls from further down the house who was a witch we called Baba Yaga since she was the most human looking of us. We told her the situation and asked if shed help walk the girl through the house, and she agreed.

So we bring Baba to the little girl, and she goes into this cartoonish Russian accent "HellO leetle gorrl, I am Baba Yaga the gOod weetch! I am going to heyalp you scare all the mon-stors awaY!" She takes the little girls hand and off they go. We run off through the house spreading the word, "If you see Baba with a little girl, let the little girl scare you". Sure enough, whenever they got to where one of the monsters was hiding, the little girl would yell "BOO!" and whoever was there would lose their marbles. Screaming, running around in circles, falling all over the place.

Sometimes there'd be more than one monster and they'd run into each other like the Three Stooges, all to the delight of the little girl, who was now giggling and jumping up and down, clapping her little hands, it was adorable. The adults that were with her look annoyed, but f**k them, the rest of the group that got lumped in with them were having a great time as well watching this tiny child scare the mean ugly monsters away.

I've never seen an entire house break character like that, but it was fun to be a part of.


Falling Back!

So I was stationed in a small room just off to the side of a long hallway with a strobe light at the end. It made it hard for guests to see down towards me, but very easy for me to see them. So one evening a group of a five teens come through; four girls with one guy leading them.

Just as they enter the hall, the guy turns around to talk with them. Having just been handed a golden ticket here, I sneak up right behind this guy. The girls all go stone silent and when the dude realizes they're looking at something beyond him, he turns around and finds me standing within inches of his face.

I give out the most guttural scream I can, and in response, the guy LEAPS backwards and knocks down all four girls behind him like they were bowling pins, leaving them all a tangled pile on the floor.

I literally could not hold it together. I had to run off into a staff only area because I was laughing so hard and could not stop. Easily one of my favorite memories from that place.


".... That's.....awful."

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As a haunted house customer...

My Type 1 diabetic girlfriend and I were waiting to enter and begin the actual house. This was after the line to get in and the holding area for parties to be able to go together. There was this big demon tree thing that had an actor actually talking to us.

"Tell me, mortals. What do you think your souls taste like?"

I looked to my girlfriend. Just a sheepish grin and a shrug. Then I chime in and respond

"Well, I don't know about me, but her soul would be pretty sweet because she has diabetes."

".... That's.....awful."

Still one of our favorite memories but that whole evening was just lovely and pleasant.


"is he real?"

Used to work in one years ago. I worked the crowd - but mainly by standing at the entrance in a coffin that was fitted with an undertaker. I walked in the undertaker's feet but my upper half was in the coffin. One night I was standing there. Bone still. I did my own makeup and frankly it was good. Made me look "fake".

I'm standing there completely silent and still. Some German woman; drunk (because you can smell the beer on her) goes "is he real?" Cue me to kick the back of the coffin as a jump scare. She then proceeds to back hand me across the face.

She did not get to go through the haunted house and was not refunded her money.


Hear Me!

I said "I'm gonna skin you b***h!"

She replied, "no you're the skinny b***h!"

I broke character and told her what I really said.

Maaan, I was there to scare not body shame.


The Reaper....

I (M) was playing a grim reaper statue that comes to life and lowers my (fake) scyth blade in front of guests from behind. This college age girl walks up to me and, convinced I was just a statue or a prop, grabs my parts to prove to her friends it was safe. I looked at her slowly and asked "So do you take me to dinner now or..." that was the best scream we got all night.


In the Hay...

season 1 hay GIF by Outlander Giphy

Worked a haunted trail/hayride when I was younger. When we see someone clearly not into it we'd ask if they were okay and if not we had a codeword we'd pass down the line to let them just go through. Not sure if others worked like this though.


Not Here!!

Not a worker, but as a customer, my sister and I once took a wrong turn in the haunted house. We were cornered by a dude in a hockey mask who was revving his chainsaw as he approached and we were screaming in terror...

Then he took his mask off and said in exasperation, "guys you're not supposed to be back here." Then he shooed us back into the main hallway. Lol


The Autopsy....

season 1 GIF by Twin Peaks on Showtime Giphy

Not a worker, but I got to witness it. The worker was dressed as a crazy doctor.

We enter the room, and the worker says "Are you ready for you autopsy?" in a really creepy voice. My friend responds "...Yes?" The worker's face just changed from menacing to complete confusion, then she dropped the act and asked "Do you know what an autopsy is?" My friend did not know, so we had to explain it to her.


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Image by Clker-Free-Vector-Images from Pixabay

Have you ever been reading a book, watching a movie, or even sitting down for a fantastical cartoon and began to salivate when the characters dig into some doozy of a made up food?

You're not alone.

Food is apparently fertile ground for creativity. Authors, movie directors, and animators all can't help but put a little extra time and effort into the process of making characters' tasty delights mouthwatering even for audiences on the other side of the screen.

Read on for a perfect mixture of nostalgia and hunger.

AllWhammyNoMorals asked, "What's a fictional food you've always wanted to try?"

Some people were all about the magical foods eaten in the magical places. They couldn't help but wish they could bite into something with fantastical properties and unearthly deliciousness.


"Enchanted golden apple" -- DabbingIsSo2015

"The Minecraft eating sounds make me hungry" -- FishingHobo

"Gotta love that health regeneration" -- r2celjazz

"Pretty sure those are based off the golden apples that grant immortality. Norse mythology I think?" -- Raven_of_Blades

Take Your Pick

"Nearly any food from Charlie and the Chocolate factory" -- CrimsonFox100

"Came here to say snozzberries!" -- Utah_Writer

"Everlasting Gobstoppers #1, but also when they're free to roam near the chocolate river and the entire environment is edible." -- devo9er

Peak Efficiency

"Lembas" -- Roxwords

"The one that fills you with just a bite? My fat a** would be making sandwiches with two lembas breads and putting bacon, avocado and cheese inside. Then probably go for some dessert afterwards. No wonder why those elves are all skinny, eating just one measly bite of this stuff." -- sushister

Some people got stuck on the foods they saw in the cartoons they watched growing up. The vibrant colors, the artistic sounds, and the exaggerated movements all come together to form some good-looking fake grub.

The One and Only

"Krabby patty 🍔" -- Cat_xox

"And a kelp shake" -- titsclitsntennerbits

"As a kid I always pretended burgers from McDonalds were Krabby Patties, heck from time to time I still do for the nostalgia of it all. Many of my friends did the same thing." -- Thisissuchadragtodo


"The pizza from an extremely goofy movie. The stringy cheese just looked magical lol" -- ES_Verified

"The pizza in the old TMNT cartoon as well." -- gate_of_steiner85

"Only bested by the pizza from All Dogs Go to Heaven." -- Purdaddy

Get a Big Old Chunk

"Those giant turkey drumsticks in old cartoons that characters would tear huge chunks out of. Those things looked amazing, turkey drumsticks in real life suck and are annoying to eat."

-- Ozwaldo

Slurp, Slurp, Slurp

"Every bowl of ramen on any anime, ever." -- Cat_xox

"Studio Ghibli eggs and bacon" -- DrManhattan_DDM

"Honestly, any food in anime. I swear to god half the budget no matter what the studio goes into making the food look absolutely delicious." -- Viridun

Finally, some highlighted the things that aren't quite so far-fetched, but still far enough away that it's nothing we'll be eating anytime soon.

That tease can be enough to make your mouth water.

What's In It??

"Butter beer" -- Damn_Dog_Inappropes

"came here to say this. i was pretty disappointed with the universal studio version which was over the top sweet. it was more of a butterscotch root beer. i imagine butter beer to be something more like butter and beer, which wouldn't be crazy sweet, but would have a very deep rich flavor" -- crazyskiingsloth

Slice of the Future

"The microwave pizzas in back to the future two" -- biggiemick91

"I've been fascinated with those for years! They just look so good!" -- skoros

As Sweet As They Had

"The Turkish Delight from Lion Witch & Wardrobe. The real ones I had weren't bad but nothing special." -- spoon_shaped_spoon

"Came here to say this. I know it's a real thing, but I always imagined that it must have been amazing to betray your siblings over." -- la_yes

"You're used to freely available too sweet sweets. For a WW2 era schoolkid, it would have represented all the sweets for an entire year." -- ResponsibleLimeade

Here's hoping you made it through the list without going into kitchen for some snack you didn't actually need.

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