But why be racist, when you could just not be racist? Sadly, the country doesn't seem to grasp that ideal tradeoff. We have a tragedy on our hands. u/Allentow laid it out for us:
My (23m) girlfriend (20f) of 2 years broke up with me because she didn't "see herself with a black guy long term." I'm so messed up over this and can't get my stuff together. What can I do here?
Obviously i'm black, GF is white. We met in college and I've since graduated and have a really good job. I was with my GF for just over 2 years.
Over the past few weeks she's been acting strange and finally this weekend she broke up with me. To me it came out of the blue because on labor day I took her on a vacation to Florida and I don't remember the exact words but she told me something like "I want to do stuff like this with you forever."
So she broke up with me Sunday. I did my best to just chill and get over it but I broke down early this morning and called her and asked her what the hell was really going on. She said she didn't want to tell me so I kept pressing her and finally she said "the truth is I love you so much but I never saw myself with a black guy long term." This was devastating because I can work on other sh*t, but I can't change who I am.
I still love her so much it f*cking hurts and my heart is literally breaking and I've called into work the last two days and missed two huge commissions, now my boss is threatening to write me up and that could mean getting fired.
This sh*t is ruining my life.
What can I do about this? Is there any way to convince her that her thinking is racist and she's wrong and that we can be together?
Here was some of the advice he got.
You probably won't believe this now, but this is a fantastic turn of events.
You're a young man, lots of life and potential partners out there who aren't just f---ing around with you like some taboo fling.
One day you will be with a woman who accepts you as you and you will smile thinking about the bullet you dodged.
These are things i should have done before to hasten the moving on process:
- Exercise - like regularly going to the gym. Even if your mind and body doesn't want to. Even if your mind is telling me to stay in bed and get wallowed in to the sadness you feel. Go to the gym!
- Make a list of all the things you don't like about her or the moments where she didn't treat you right - your mind is your worst enemy now. You're going through changes that your mind have not coped yet. It's like being addicted to something then you suddenly stop and going through withdrawals. You'll relive your "happy" memories in your mind just to have its fix. Recognize these moments and read through your list.
- Occupy your mind - study more or get a job. The less your mind gets to wonder, the better.
If she's that narrow minded she can't see past skin color, there's nothing you can do but honestly, do you want somebody who is like that in your life? Go to work, see your friends, pick up hobbies, try not to think about her. That's all you can do and you'll meet a girl who doesn't think twice about your skin color and is in love with everything underneath it. I really feel for you.
I'm going to be a little blunt here. I'm a parent and this is what I would say to my own son if this happened to him.
Relationships can be very messy and complicated at times. You still have to live your life. Sitting home and breaking down isn't going to help you. Work will actually be a good distraction for you. Keeping busy will be good for you right now. Please do not miss any more work over this or get fired. That would just make your life so much worse.
You cannot ever really convince ANYONE to be with you. If this is how she feels deep down, thank goodness she told you so that you can see what kind of person she is, and move on with your life. You should NEVER try to convince someone to be with you.
If she never meant to be with you long term, she could have stated that up front, but obviously never did - for 2 years. You obviously love each other, but what she told you would be pretty unacceptable to me going forward. How would you ever honestly trust her intentions again??
Breakups can hurt very badly, but you are clearly an adult and need to handle it like one. That means, mourn the relationship but continue your life in as positive a way as you can muster. Get up every day, go to work, and try to keep yourself healthy and active.
I'm so sorry to hear what happened to you. As a white woman dating a black man, this really hits home. I've been in a situation where a black guy I was dating didn't want to be serious with me because he thought his black friends would judge him for dating a white woman. That sh*t hurt deep and on a tremendous personal level.
My current partner (black) sure does get looks for dating a white woman and the occasional comment. And so do I, but reversed...But... race has never been an issue between us. Racism doesn't belong in a relationship... hell... it doesn't belong ever!
Don't try to convince her that the reason for breaking up with you are racist. She knows... because she IS racist. Why would you want to date someone who is racist? Racism comes in different levels and dosages. From crazy aggressive outward attacks to subtle micro aggression that can fly under the radar for a while.
Again, I'm so sorry for you to be in this position. She rejected you not for who you are, but for what you are. You will never be able to change this. It is out of your control. Nor should you ever need or want to change what and who you are. And certainly not for her.
Stay proud of your heritage, culture and reflection in the mirror. You are beautiful and an amazing person to date. This is totally her loss. Don't try to get back with her... and deep down you know that ultimately you don't want to date a racist. Keep your head up my friend!
At that young age, it would have been rare that any thing long term would have developed.
Maybe she got freaked out about thinking about "long term" because she is 20 years old, not even old enough to drink and she is has to think about the rest of her life?
Yeah, I'm black too and Ive been with women who love me then leave me because a interracial relationship does come with some bullsh*t from other people. I was really hurt by it too, but then I saw that relationships end for many different reasons. The only thing they have in common is the hurt of a lover of the past.
Don't sweat the racial component of the relationship, you can't change that and she wasn't going to be able to hang with it long term. Better now than a divorce 5-7 years from now.
And don't let this color your future relationships, this was her problem, your next GF doesn't deserve to be punished for her mistakes.
Bruh. She ain't the one. I can only imagine the hurt you feel. But day by day, little by little, you will get over it. Thankfully you didn't have kids or anything else to permanently tie you. Even if her reason is not the truth the only thing that matters is she doesn't want you long term. So in the meantime take time to yourself. Enjoy time with family and friends. Don't rush to replace her. Grieve the relationship. Mourn for the person you thought she was. Enjoy the little things in life. Eventually you will wake up one day and not have a thought of her. And you will smile. Best wishes.
From one black man to another (I'm in my late 30s), what I'm about to say is going to sound rough, but it's true.
You're 23. You've spent your entire life thus far going to school and college, where all your fellow peers are constantly being told to treat people fairly and kindly. Now that you've finished college and entered the work force, what happened to you is the start of the "real world." It's going to be a shock.
Life is only going to get tougher from here.
When you apply for an apartment, but there's 10 other people who are also interested, most of them white maybe an asian person, who do you think the manager will rent it to? Be honest.
When you go to a job interview, and they have 5 other equally qualified candidates who are white, you are at the bottom of their choices no matter how impressive your resume is. They'll find any reason to not hire you even if you're the best possible person for the job.
This is only the beginning of a massive sh*t storm that's going to last until the day you die. So you have to develop a tougher skin than this.
I was also in a relationship with a white woman, and I think she genuinely loved me too, but she was under a lot of pressure, and my ethnicity was too much of a liability to her. She was worried about what her parents would say, how her family would react, and what her co-workers and friends might think of her. She didn't leave me because she was just a dumb a** racist who wanted a fling with a Black guy but had zero genuine feelings about me. No, not her. She was beautiful and had a kind heart. However, she couldn't handle the potential stigma that the rest of society and her family would assign her. THAT'S WHEN IT HURTS THE MOST. But yes, I know what it's like to be dumped by a loved one because I am Black. I am not mad at her. I still love her and still think about the years we were together. I hope she is safe, happy, and has what she wants in life. Maybe one day, in the future decades from now, she will be in contact with me again.
Being angry... or hating white people, or hating yourself for being Black, or hating how society is so f---ing racist... is really not going to help. It will consume you. Just like how you see all the poor white people who live in trailers and bitterly blame Black people for all their life's problems, etc... That's what racism turns people into. Don't let it do that to you.
Break ups suck, especially yours. Hold your head up, soldier through this, and be prepared because it's probably going to happen again. And again. And again. Even if you date a Black woman, it can still happen, and THAT would be so bad it takes racism to a whole new level. But there are people out there who will treat you fairly and give you a chance. You will notice them eventually. Keep those people in mind, not the racist sh*theads.
It is really up to her to think over and deal with - likely that no external intervention will change her feelings. Too bad she didn't signal you earlier.
To me this stuff is often linked to geography. Through the years I (white guy) have had serious relations with two Black women - very little static but most of that coming from Black guys when we would go out to eat or whatever. But we lived where mixed race couples were very common. The ladies and their families were fine with me. I ended up married to an Asian which in some places can be weird. In Hawaii for example it seems most everyone is coupled with a different race person. But in the US South I got stupid stuff like "oh - so you're screwing the maid?"
Point being that maybe a geographic change would help her, but from your post it seems too late for any adjustment. I hope that you can use it as a tough lesson learned if you fail to resurrect it. Check people out early in relationships to be sure that you can proceed "on the same page."
Give yourself the rest of the day to mourn your relationship and the future you imagined. When you go to bed tonight though you are done just mourning. Sunday when you wake up you are now moving on. Clean your house, go hang out with friends, whatever chores, errands or fun stuff that needs to be done - it doesn't matter how you feel do it anyway.
Monday you go to work. Again it does not matter how you feel. Put on your work face and get sh*t done. If you need to cry it can be done after work.
You're only allowed to fall apart at home after work and everything else is checked off the to-do list. You will get through this. You will have a great life. You can do this.
Being woken up suddenly is not very good for our health.
Especially for the elderly, it's not something to make a habit of. Sleep interruption can increase blood pressure, cause a worsened self image, and cause a day filled with irritation and confusion.
No one wants to be woken up, but there are definitely some reasons for being woken up that are worse than your alarm clock.
We went to Ask Reddit to find out some of the worst reasons people have been woken up.
Redditor Toothpiicxxk asked:
"What's the worst reason you woke up?"
These truly are the worst.
We love our pets, but sometimes not so much.
"My cat was throwing up right next to me."
"She brought you breakfast how cute."
"I was just about to answer that my cat threw up right on me, specifically my hair, which I had just washed..."
Some horrible news hits you.
"Being woken up to be told someone you know died certainly qualifies."
"Or when you already know, but you wake up in that ignorant bliss that lasts for about a second and then it hits you. And this goes on for a long time."
"It's been about 15 years and I still will wake up on occasion thinking I have to tell my older brother something cool that I know he'd love to hear about. Or have a vivid a** dream about how it was all an mistake and he's still here. Happens less often then it used to but oof does it ever still hurt."
"Woke up at about 3am to a cop repeatedly ringing my bell. my mom had accidentally drowned in the tub. she was really weak from chemo."
"Woke up to a phone call telling me my incredible brother-in-law had been hit and killed by a drunk & high driver, his wife was also expected to pass as her neck had been broken, and their kids were both in surgery. My husband and I were in the will to get the kids, so we needed to fly to Chicago right away. As I sat there in shock, I hung up the phone, turned to see my sleeping husband snoring away, and knowing I would now have to wake him up to tell him the worst news he would ever hear."
2018 false missile alert.
"I live in Hawaii, that time we got the missile scare."
"Oof at least it wasn't real but I would have definitely panicked if that was me."
"Damn, I slept straight through it. My mom literally woke me up, told me; and I still went back to sleep."
"What were you supposed to do? Go outside and witness your annihilation?"
"I think it's the right thing to do to inform people even if there isn't necessarily anything that can be done about it."
"Some people would appreciate being able to conduct prayers, get one last hug with their loved ones, etc."
"Cockroach walking on my lips with no shame. I brutally murdered it as soon as I yeeted it halfway across the room."
"I had a weird dream about a cockroach somehow paralyzing a friend then walking towards me in that same room. Then I awoke to find this a**hole cockroach slowly creeping on my lips."
"When I threw it away, what startled me was it did not panic AT ALL. It even slowly headed towards me!"
"I also mouth washed and brushed my teeth and even disinfected my lips with alcohol. It was a surreal experience."
"I seriously loathe roaches and there's no other way to ensure its death than a brutal one."
Screams in the night.
"One time I got woken up by a blood curdling scream in the middle of the night. I live alone and it also woke up my dog who was freaked out the rest of the night. Searched everywhere including outside and didn't find anything."
"Well that was lucky. Imagine what would have happened if you had found it..."
"Hopefully a fox, coyote, cat, or cougar."
"Being clearly asleep, and then someone wakes you to ask, 'Are you asleep?'"
"Bruh my mom be like [this]."
"The only correct answer to this question is 'yes.'"
"I woke up to my mom calling me sobbing because she thought I had died, I was 10 hours away and my blood sugar was severely low and wasn't answering any calls, that was horrifying."
"We've learned what does and doesn't work for waking me up in a medical emergency."
"Blood sugar can be a b*tch, found my mum having a really bad hypo while sleeping when I was a toddler and for years and years after would wake her up to check she was okay without realizing I was doing it for that reason. Glad you're okay!"
Something so relatable.
"My alarm rung. It's a daily struggle."
We've all been there.
If you're not a morning person, waking up in the morning can already be a challenge, but no one wants to get woken up to horrible news or an emergency.
In fact, we should be waking up naturally with our own personal sleeping patterns.
We all know that's easier said than done.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
People have a habit of excusing crap behavior - honestly because it's often easier in the short term. Long term = flaming dumpster fire.
The excuses people use to dismiss behavior range from mundane and meaningless to the sort of leaps normally reserved for kangaroos and Olympians. It's sometimes amazing that these excuses work - but they do.
Some of them work so well that they're just sort of "accepted." That, obviously, kind of sucks and is something we should avoid - so let's talk about 'em.
Can't swerve around what you don't see, ya know?
Reddit user TMTtasmachine asked:
... and away we go.
" 'That's just how they are.' "
"One of the biggest enablers for tantrum throwing, bullying, etc. is that they get treated with kid gloves to avoid dealing with them." - alexrt87
"Oh my God you hit the nail on the head. Whenever someone says 'that's just the way they are' I say:"
" 'Yes, that's the point! Glad you noticed too! Now is it okey-doke for them to be jerks they have special jerk privileges? Or maybe they are just people and should treat everyone else as such?' " - notatrumpchump
"It depends on how it's said."
"People are the way that they are, and you shouldn't be surprised when they continue to be that way."
"This, obviously, doesn't excuse it - but people also shouldn't be surprised when a bad person continues to make bad decisions. Neither should we waste space in our minds being bothered by it." - unlawfulfoxy
Harassment Isn't Humorseason 2 lol GIF by ShamelessGiphy
" 'It's just a joke, bro.' Harassing people isn't humor." - loading__99
"A guy who says/does offensive things and decides whether he was joking based on the reaction of people around him." - Eatsleeptren
"Dude, legit had someone come up to me and start shouting in my face, calling me Madison, pretending I was cheating on him. Literally the most crowded location outside a theater, everyone staring at us, looking at me like I was some horrible cheater while I was out with my then fiancé."
"I started hyperventilating, my fiancé nearly decked the dude, and then someone shouts 'CUT' like this is some big 'YOU'RE ON CANDID CAMERA' moment and everything's supposed to be okay."
"I burst into tears."
"It was the most humiliating moment of my life, and thank god my then fiancé, now husband is not the type to overreact or jump to conclusions, or be abusive. Imagine how bad that could have been for someone with an angry or abusive partner."
"Prank videos are a plague on the internet and there is a REASON so many of them are fake, or involve actors." - Darkovika
Stay Sober, Then!Drunk Drinking Beer GIFGiphy
" 'I was drunk / high / etc.' "
"Then don't drink?! Stay sober if you can't NOT be an a**hole!" - BasedBenjamin
"Alternately, I hear a lot of 'I'm a happy drunk!' "
"Yeah, according to your drunk a$s. That doesn't mean you're not an ahole. Not remembering is not an excuse either." - PepeBabinski
"I was also loud, obnoxious, and I wouldn't remember sh*t the next day."
"Quitting drinking has been one of my best choices of my life." - TTungsteNN
"Help"new girl coach GIFGiphy
" 'I'm just trying to help you' " - Miserable-Air1234
"Every time I've heard this, they're manipulating me while helping only themselves." - mykittenfarts
"My Mom to a T. Everything she does is better than anyone else's and she always gets pissed that people don't praise her for 'helping.' "
"She's now a certified (by herself) psychic and I have come to the conclusion that she's not a covert narcissist but an obvious one. I really wish I was joking." - Silent_Discussion657
Parenting ProblemsLeave Me Alone Run GIF by TLC EuropeGiphy
"Any variation of 'I'm a Mother/parent.' "
"Had some lady cut me in line at a coffee shop and she hit me with 'I'm a single Mom of 3!' as her excuse."
"Ok? And? I was still here first." - maid-for-hire
"I'm a single mom and I f*cking haaaate when other single moms/parents pull that sh*t to get special treatment."
"Last week, I was having a rough morning, my kid was being difficult, and I was running late. I was rude to a cashier over a minor inconvenience."
"Not only did I apologize for my shitty behavior, I wrote corporate to let them know how professional and patient she was while I acted like a f*cking toddler."
"Was being a parent part of the reason I was frustrated? Absolutely. Was it an excuse for that behavior? HELL no."
"I acted like a b*tch, and I called myself out, and I apologized. I still feel bad about that - I rarely let things get to me to the point I snap at others." - ClusterfckyShtshow
"Wow. I'm a Mom as well and tired but it doesn't give anyone a right to use it as some sort of ploy to get away with stuff."
"Like, mice become Moms about 12 times a year. You're not special 🤣" - SpoonLoops
Believing Your BossThe Office Monday GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy
"I had a boss say some really racist sh*t around me one day and the next day, out of nowhere, he says:"
" 'Don't believe half the things that come out of my mouth!' "
"It was not really an excuse, more like trying to cover for himself after the fact, but still stuck with me." - sirlongbottom441
"Report them to HR. Seriously." - kokichi--ouma
"Looking past the racist stuff for a bit, that's not a very encouraging thing to hear from a boss…" - WonderfulBlackberry9
Bad Day AgainBad Day Reaction GIF by Schitt's CreekGiphy
" 'I'm having a bad day/week' "
"Okay, so you decide everybody that you interact with deserves the same fate? Get out of here, dude." - myordinaryexistence
"We all got stress, don't take it out on me. I get some people have stress bad enough for it to be passable every once and a while (family member passing, etc) but general, stress should not lead to you being a jerk to me." - willsimpforfree
"Damn, I'm definitely guilty of this. Usually I remember to apologize after but at this point I've learned to just avoid the situation in the first place by minimizing my interaction with people if I'm in a shitty mood." - nozzzrul
"Reminds me of when that White boy went on a murder rampage and killed a bunch of Asian women & that a-hole sheriff gave a press conference telling the media that the 'poor boy had a bad day.' "
"My idea of a bad day involves going home after a rough day at work and just staying in the house."
"Apparently, I should change my ethnicity from Asian to White and go on a murder rampage, see if my @ss gets a sympathetic sheriff to say on my behalf that I had 'a bad day.' " - kingkazul400
It's Not An ExcuseSeason 2 Reaction GIF by FriendsGiphy
"This won't go down well, but using depression as an excuse. As someone who suffers from it, it's still not ok to treat others like sh*t" - Rainbowwallstickers
"Could not agree enough. My partner has a 'friend' who treats everyone like sh*t all the time, has no consideration for others and openly mocks people in public."
"She gets so much grace from those around her under the guise of her 'mental health.' It's so infuriating watching an adult woman never have to take responsibility for her actions." - 34boor
"I get there are some things you can't control, but you are still responsible for keeping that sh*t in check and if you're aware of your mental illness, you should be aware of how you approach people and situations."
"I'll admit I used to be guilty of using my mental illness to be an @ss, but now I'm trying to better myself" - VeeSquibbles
Florida Gonna FloridaLooney Tunes Florida GIFGiphy
"People are letting Florida off the hook way too damn much. And I live in Florida."
"Just because it's hilarious doesn't mean it isn't still completely f*cked up." - AlphaWhiskeyOscar
"The phrase 'Florida Man' is almost always followed some heinous way a Floridian is being an a$$hole." - PepeBabinski
"I'm also originally from Florida, and that state has serious problems. We need to pay attention to it." - [Reddit]
Moment of honesty ... as a Floridian ... yeaaaah, I'm gonna have to agree with that last one.
We live in a time where we are critically re-examining how we pay workers. After a two-year-long pandemic where some low-income and "unskilled" jobs were deemed "essential," we now must put our money where our mouth is.
For too long in the world have incredibly important jobs been overlooked or else outright maligned. Teachers in the USA make some of the least money, career-wise, and have some of the hardest jobs. Dancers pay to put their bodies through hell with no guarantee of paid work after training.
So how do we fix this problem? By naming it, of course.
Redditor u/NightReader5 asked:
"What professions are severely underpaid?"
Here were some of those answers.
Our Elderly Deserve Better
"I worked as a CNA in a nursing home and I loved it. It's such hard work for such little pay and that's why I had to leave."
"Not only that but I was a rare person in that I LOVED caring for the residents. Nothing was beneath me such as changing a dirty diaper or spoon feeding."
"Everything helped their quality of life. Sucks they can't keep people that genuinely enjoy it cause I couldn't make over $10 an hour."-Dancer9d9
"Came here to say this: Emergency Medical Technicians. I will never not be just a bit salty about this."
"My husband is one of those people who does this job because it's his passion and he loves helping people."
"It would be nice if he earned more than the kid who just got hired at McDonald's this morning."-ThePotterheadHobbit
High School Bathrooms....
"The janitors at my high school. I walked in the men's bathroom there once and there was a mega-giant steaming pile of crap and diarrhea right in the middle of the floor."-satanic-sex-god
"Anyhow. Are you sure that was a high school? We're talking grades 9-12 here, right?"-VoicedVelarNasal
"Unfortunately yes. Other highlights of my oh so great high school men's bathroom that contains teenagers from 14 to as old as 20 are:"
"A dude bringing a sledgehammer to school and smashing a sink, the toilets being blown up, the toilets being frequently clogged with trash..."
"Smashed beer bottle glass covering the floor, and a centimeter of pee flooding the bathroom whenever you walk in. I hate it here."-satanic-sex-god
You know immediately YOU might not want to do this job--so why is someone else getting paid next to nothing to do it?
The More You Help Others The Less You Get Paid
"Statistically speaking, any job that provides significant social benefit to others, the less you will get paid, something that David Graeber discusses in essays and his work, Bullsh*t Jobs."
"This is so sad. I'm currently in a job that pays very well, I just dont find any meaning or fulfillment with it. I want so badly to do something where I'd be helping others- something with purpose- but I honestly dont think I can afford it."-mko0njo9
"Social workers. Dealing with negligent, abusive parents while trying to help the children while in an underfunded, low-paid system is a travesty."-ZRX1200R
"Can also confirm. I like working with my family's but I don't get paid enough to deal with their crap or most of the bureaucracy."-Altowhovian93
Minimum Wage To Go Against FIRE
"Entry level wildland firefighters. They start them at $15 an hour."-NuclearEyedSquirrel
"I live in a small town in Ohio and I think the lowest starting wage I've seen was 11."
"That's the low side and those places are having trouble hiring because there's so many places paying higher. McDonald's here starts at 13 or 14 an hour."-rjoh4459
One Kid, One Para
"Paraprofessionals. Yea, my town increased the pay rate for paraprofessionals to get more people to apply since they have a shortage but the pay increase was not that good IMO."
"For that job, I think you need to be compensated for the physical and mental demands of the job."
"It's a hard job and they should be paid for the work, the pay rate in my community for the job with 60 credits is $14.50 but I think it should be more than that."-YourQueen2Bee
The question then becomes, why won't the people who HAVE money do something to help the quality of these jobs, and make sure that these people get paid?
"Everything in veterinary medicine. Kennel technicians, Veterinary assistants, Veterinary technicians, Veterinary receptionists, and Veterinarians."-aIsiduous
"Veterinary interns/residents, too. I work 70-120hrs+ per week, am on call about half the days per month, have to pay for my own board exams and accreditation fees out of pocket, and all for ~$33,000 per year."-WyrdHarper
"It's bullsh*t. There's nothing on this planet I want to do more than be a veterinarian, but I simply cannot afford the debt. Hopefully one day we'll get the recognition deserved. Stick in there, I know you got this!"--aIsiduous
In The Classroom
"I work in a special school, I love it but I really don't think we get paid enough for all the times we get yelled at, punched, kicked, bit, spat on, cursed at, have our classrooms trashed, have things thrown at us..."
"And then we also have parents making demands and admin telling us their 'simple' solutions to all of it that we have to carry out while they have zero clue on what it's actually like to spend a day in the classroom."-Sajiri
A Morbid State Of Affairs
"Funeral directors/embalmers/funeral professionals. We didn't get days or holidays off to begin with. Now the pandemic has stretched us to working double overtime, which we are exempt from getting paid for under Florida statutes."
"And forget hazard pay for being exposed to COVID multiple times a day every day via the deceased, the deceased's family members, the general public attending funerals, and the hospital/nursing facilities we remove decedents from."-Lesscute
So why are we holding off on giving these people a raise? Their jobs involve dangerous, mentally and emotionally taxing situations, and yet, we treat them as if society could function without them. The truth is it couldn't.
And society had best learn that as soon as possible.
What causes a small town to die?
Honestly, there can be quite a few factors, but perhaps the biggest one is that small towns often lack the upward mobility opportunities that are more available in urban areas.
As a result, many towns around the United States for instance have lost tens of millions of people as their populations seek jobs and opportunities elsewhere.
And what remains of these places can be pretty sketchy.
People told us more after Redditor RadicalizedSnackWrap asked the online community,
"What's a super sketchy US city that we never hear about?"
"Daytona Beach, FL. Imagine a bunch of alcoholic high school kids who came for spring break in 1984, and never left, and never grew up."
Oh, I don't have to imagine it.
I've seen it!
I lived in a neighboring town for a while and bodies would always turn up in farmer's fields that the cartel in Yakima had dropped off there."
Sounds like Netflix needs to get its hands on Yakima, a new show to go against Ozark.
"I remember a story..."
"Guntersville, Alabama. If I were to ballpark it, over 80% of the population are meth addicts and traffickers.
I remember a story where a man walked into the Walmart, took all the supplies and equipment required to cook, and proceeded to cook meth in the bathroom."
"A run-down town..."
"Reading, PA. A run-down town that is mostly used as a central point to run drugs between New York and Philly."
I am writing this from right nearby actually, and I can smell it from here.
"Small town almost entirely..."
"Butte, Montana. Small town almost entirely comprised of violent meth heads."
"More of a town than a city..."
More of a town than a city, but it's such a weird place, bordering on Twilight Zone. You'll see a meth house right next to a youth theatre."
According to a friend I have who spent a lot of time in Arizona, this sounds about right.
"Used to have..."
"Gary, Indiana. Used to have a prosperous steel economy, but now it's just home to abandoned buildings, failing infrastructure, and lots and lots of crime. Just look up pictures."
"I always said..."
"Amityville. Yes, that Amityville.
I always said the "Amityville Horror" house is for amateurs. You want something scary, put on a nice watch or a gold chain and wander around downtown Amityville after dark."
I went there once.
I have not been back.
"It looks harmless..."
"Harrisburg PA. It looks harmless and maybe a little boring but holy hell that place is a giant puddle of corruption just waiting for someone to step in it. Not just state government, there's a bunch of layers you can use to crawl up the corruption ladder."
"Used to be..."
"Natchez, Mississippi. Use to be the headquarters for the KKK. Not much there besides crackheads, plantation homes, and European tourists. Don't own a nice place if you're black, you'll be stopped by the police and questioned."
It doesn't look any of these are changing anytime soon, and that's sad.
Have some small towns to tell us about? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.