Foster Kids Share What Their Foster Parents Could Have Done To Improve Their Quality Of Life
If you can't parent.... don't!
Raising a child is life's most difficult and rewarding challenge. A lot of kids are taken in by families and fostered because their birth families weren't up to the task. All kids need love, no matter if they share your DNA or not. Now no parent is perfect but there are somethings that foster parents should take into account and learn in order to make sure the children they are choosing to help are receiving the best care possible.
Redditor u/animalsaremyfriends reached out the to the foster kids on the net to ask... Foster kids of Reddit, what do you wish your foster parents would have known so your experience would have been better? If you're going to foster, listen up.
Your foster kids are your real kids!
Your biological kids were mean to me.
I had that experience and I'm sorry that you had it too. The first foster home that I was in, they had adopted daughters and the older one of the two would constantly terrorize Me by hitting me in the head and pulling my hair and pushing me and just all kinds of terrible stuff. And her younger daughter saw it and even went with me to the Foster mother and backed up my claims of what was happening but she still had me shipped off to another foster home and when she sat me down right before I left and asked me do you know why I'm having you moved? I said no and she said because I can't have you telling lies about my daughter.
I said I'm not lying and she said well I think you are. Well I never saw her again thank God. I also wish that they knew terrifying it is to be away from home no matter how bad your home situation was. And to live with the knowledge that just as you start to get comfortable and get used to your living situation you can be moved at a moment's notice. Also how hard it is to have to constantly switch schools and make new friends and try to keep up with the old ones. And to have your things thrown in a garbage bag in a quick move. It makes you feel like you're worthless and that you're garbage and that no one will ever really love you like they love their own children.
Family Dog
My third foster parent said to me that she would care more if the family dog or a stranger on the street got hit by a car and died than if I did. I think it was in the context of telling me her kid was priority. I was removed from that home a bit later.
I choose not to give that woman power over me anymore, either through anger or pain. But for a long time it sucked. She was a teacher at the school I continued to attend as well...
The great thing is we get to move on and choose not to be miserable people like they were.
Kids aren't generic.
You didn't need to lock up the brand name foods from me. You didn't need to lock me out of the house any time you weren't home.
First Fam
First family I was placed with, I did not care for. They liked to punish you, and make you sit in your bedroom all day and all night. My sister and I were together at first, then she was causing problems so they put her in another home. Months later my social worker asked if I was happy where I was, I said no. I was about 6-7 at the time. They put me in a new home, where the family was huge, and everyone was awesome. They wanted to adopt me but my dad took me out after about 3 years cause the state said he had to pay for me or something like that. Then my life went to hell with my step mom, and I spent summers with my foster family because they were loving, caring and just all around good people.
Don't give up so easy!
Try to remember that they were taken away from their homes for a reason, and there might be an enormous amount of "culture shock" for them in a normal household. My first foster family kicked me out for leaving a tissue on the floor and forgetting to replace the toilet paper roll twice in a row. I came from a hoarder crack house with no running water. For the first several years of my life, I had to use a coffee can to do my business and often times all we had to wipe with was old socks that then went into the trash. So... yes I was in the wrong there, but I still think sending me to a group home was a bit of an extreme reaction. In their defense I was their first foster kid though.
Return To Sender
That threatening to "send me back" when I acted out, was really messed up. Also that I don't take threats idly, as you found out.
How about we stick you?
You didn't have to beat me with the sticks you broke off the bushes because I didn't eat the veggies. I never had them before.
Socialize
I wish they had understood that not letting me around other kids (I wasn't allowed to socialize outside of school), telling me I was a rude kid, and making me stay in a dark room with nothing to do (they owned a mattress store, and when they were working and I wasn't in school, I was sitting in the storage room on top of the mattresses (don't worry, they were wrapped)), was really horrible for my health, and I have had lifelong medical issues because of it, which began while I was living there.
Talk to me...
Someone should have asked me questions. Everyone laid back, letting me talk about things if I wanted to bring them up. Only I was never allowed to bring things up before and I thought their lack of questions meant I wasn't supposed to talk about any of it. So I didn't. This extended to other areas too. Once my parent's rights were terminated, for example, I was free for adoption. They thought if wanted to be adopted, I would ask. But I couldn't ask something like that, there was no way.
Obligatory not me, but my parents fostered probably twenty kids in ten or so years. They treated every kid that came into our home exactly as they treated their legal children: as family. The things we heard about other foster homes was horrific. One memory stands out most: we had siblings, a boy and girl come for a few months after severe abuse and neglect.
About a week in, we discovered that the girl was only eating half her food at mealtimes and hiding the rest in her room for her and her brother, which we learned is common for foster children. They aren't always sure where their next meal may come from in an unstable home so they stock up just in case. Well my mom gathered her and her little brother up, marched them into the kitchen, opened up the pantry and fridge and told them that they could eat whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted so long as it was eaten in the kitchen or dining room because she wanted to make sure it wasn't going to go stale or attract bugs in their bedrooms.
I was maybe ten at the time, the kids were seven or eight and six. They both were just stunned and kept asking, "even this? Even these?" And my mom kept assuring them that anything they wanted was theirs to eat whenever they were hungry. Both kids cried and hugged her. I never realized how privileged I was until I saw children crying over cereal and granola bars. They had literally never been in a home where they were able to eat when and what they wanted. She even made sure that they went shopping with her so they could choose foods they liked.
Both kids were significantly underweight when they moved in and when they left to live with family out of state, my mom was thrilled to tell the case worker that they were both now in a perfectly healthy weight range. After that, when we'd have new kids come in, we always gave them a tour and made sure they knew the kitchen would always be open for them. Around half of them were surprised or even shocked and "tested" my parents by eating things at weird hours to make sure my folks were good on their promise. They always were. I guess my point is that there are some things that seem super obvious to people who've never been in a dire situation aren't as obvious to someone coming from a broken place.
A Note From Then To Now
If you can, send them a card from time to time. You have no idea how much they wonder how you turned out and what you are up to. My parents have fostered for ages and that type of stuff is what drives them.
My mom had one foster child pulled from our house right before Christmas because the child exhibited some serious violent tendencies at school . That kid's wrapped Christmas presents have been stored in a closet for about twenty years now. Kind of think mom expects her to come calling one day so she can still give them to her.
Parents and good foster parents never forget and always want to hear from you.
Sadistic
My parents had one foster kid whose birth parents evidently made him smash his own toys to bits when he got in trouble. Was a serious wtf for all of us. Kid did something wrong and you had to watch him to make sure he didn't destroy something. And I am not talking being mad and pummeling it. I mean being quite and weeping while pulling something apart bit by bit. One of the saddest things I have ever witnessed.
People Are Roasting Trump Over His Mind-Numbing Observation About The Wetness Of Water 😂
Donald Trump thanked the first responders who came to the aid of victims of Hurricane Florence. The storm devastated portions of North Carolina, dumping massive amounts of rain and damaging millions of dollars in property. Many natural areas were destroyed, some farmers lost everything and more than a few people have been left homeless. The first responders after this massive storm were literal life savers, and Trump was absolutely right to thank them. Unfortunately, the sentiment of his message was lost for many people because he didn't seem to put any effort or preparation into what he was saying. Then, in the middle of his off-the-cuff message, he confused everyone by talking about the wetness of water.
As Trump described the storm and the importance of first responders he told the world:
This is a tough hurricane, one of the wettest we've ever seen from the standpoint of water. Rarely have we had an experience like it and it certainly is not good.
The Tweet went out in the middle of the day on Tuesday, September 18th. At the time of this article, it hasn't even been up for 24 hours and already has over 13,000 comments. Many of them pointed out how Trump didn't even seem to try...
and how asinine his description was.
We don't know if Trump will continue to address the public by releasing these kinds of videos, or if they will continue to be as unrehearsed as this one is. We assure you, if they are, Twitter will have plenty to say about it.
H/T: Huffington Post, Twitter
Disheartened Young Boy Calls 911 To Ask For Homework Help, And The Dispatcher Doesn't Miss A Beat ❤️
When you're a kid stuck on a really difficult math problem, what can you do? It's not like you can dial 9-1-1 and get help, right?
Right?
Our dispatchers never know what the next call might be.They train for many emergency situations, homework help is n… https://t.co/3t8eT975at— LafayetteINPolice (@LafayetteINPolice) 1548447263.0
While it's not an endorsed solution, an Indiana boy did just that. On January 14th, he called emergency services due to difficulty with his homework.
The call was answered by Antonia Bundy, a dispatcher with Lafayette Police. Despite the situation being a little less dire than their typical call, Bundy assisted the boy.
The boy starts off the call explaining he "had a really bad day" because of his homework. Bundy asks about the subject he's having difficulty with. As she works through the problem with the boy, Bundy is very patient, not giving him the answer, but instead helping him come to it himself.
It's a really sweet clip to hear.
Boy calls 911 for homework help. So very sweet. https://t.co/RGcyWzbfHN— Randy #RESISTS (@Randy #RESISTS) 1548714991.0
@merrythedog @LafayetteINPD @PoliceOne @apbweb @WLFI @WTHRcom This melts my heart, that little boy overcame an obst… https://t.co/RYNCdqrTij— Mindy reinhardt (@Mindy reinhardt) 1548635286.0
My heart goes out to this kid...sounds like he could have used a hug, too....... 911 dispatcher helps student with… https://t.co/49wUeANFjp— Elizabeth Llorente (@Elizabeth Llorente) 1548793518.0
Again, the department's statement on the situation stresses that 911 services are not for homework help. However, at the time the call was taken, the queue was sparse, and Bundy could see if anyone was on hold. She'd have been ready to help anyone else who called if necessary.
"She's very much a dedicated employee, it doesn't surprise us that she goes above and beyond on a regular basis,"
Said Sergeant Matt Gard of the Lafayette Police.
"They do receive some oddball requests, but this situation of calling asking for homework help — I've been in law enforcement for 13 years and I don't know I've ever heard of this happening."
Bundy most certainly stepped up!
@LafayetteINPD @PoliceOne @apbweb @WLFI @WTHRcom I love this! I'm so happy this struggling child was not chastised… https://t.co/eoJEQcScp2— Gail Burchette (@Gail Burchette) 1548700530.0
@Onlyabrit @LafayetteINPD @PoliceOne @apbweb @WLFI @WTHRcom So true.— Helena Caesar (@Helena Caesar) 1548671811.0
Solid proof of good humans in this world https://t.co/H17OgFVCfd— Jenny Lougheed (@Jenny Lougheed) 1548782808.0
@BichonMom3 @LafayetteINPD @PoliceOne @apbweb @WLFI @WTHRcom I was a latch key kid and it can get lonely. Thanks for helping this guy.— Chris Fox (@Chris Fox) 1548696327.0
Though, if it were someone else, they might have shut this question down due to the fractions alone!
@_shireenahmed_ Couldn’t agree more! (PS I hated solving fractions too)— James Tyler FC (@James Tyler FC) 1548783401.0
@nonfamousbot @LafayetteINPD @PoliceOne @apbweb @WLFI @WTHRcom poor kids!!— Nawali ❄☃ (@Nawali ❄☃) 1548685742.0
@LafayetteINPD @PoliceOne @apbweb @WLFI @WTHRcom Fractions suck, but always ask for help.— 𝑽𝒊𝒅𝒂 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑹𝒆𝒔𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆 (@𝑽𝒊𝒅𝒂 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑹𝒆𝒔𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆) 1548734529.0
@LafayetteINPD @PoliceOne @apbweb I couldn't be a 911 operator for various reasons but this is the worst case scena… https://t.co/DFsOak7QS1— Julie Ann (@Julie Ann) 1548692353.0
At the end of the call, the boy apologizes for calling saying he "really needed help."
While Sgt. Gard is happy that Bundy was able to help and brighten this boy's day, he does want to stress the importance of when to call emergency services. Maybe the school can educate the kids on local homework help lines instead?
The Kids From 'Stranger Things' Wrapped Presents For Superfans—And Did A Delightfully Terrible Job 😂
When it comes to giving gifts, not all celebrities are as crafty as Taylor Swift, but that didn't stop the adorable stars of Netflix's Stranger Things from giving it a try.
In a recently released video from Netflix, actors Millie, Finn, Noah, Caleb, Gaten, and Sadie got together for some holiday cheer and to wrap gifts for fans. But kids will be kids, even if they star in a hit television show. Watch as chaos ensues.
Fans loved every moment, even if the kids weren't the greatest wrappers.
@Stranger_Things I love seeing them mess around with each other.— Abby! (@Abby!) 1545318707.0
@doublejoywilson https://t.co/qgFgkZpTxQ— Stranger Things (@Stranger Things) 1545318849.0
@realrevella https://t.co/G5Er8pydg5— Stranger Things (@Stranger Things) 1545318801.0
@themallratss we do what we can https://t.co/POBMVbXfZS— Stranger Things (@Stranger Things) 1545319099.0
@Stranger_Things They’re a cute mess 😂— Janet ⁷✜🪐 (@Janet ⁷✜🪐) 1545318854.0
@minseokjin94 https://t.co/Dr4Y4xFYyM— Stranger Things (@Stranger Things) 1545318939.0
@Stranger_Things Thanks for the gif...they’re a MESS mess https://t.co/cG5ODdPDf0— Janet ⁷✜🪐 (@Janet ⁷✜🪐) 1545319571.0
@pvladins AH THE SOUND OF HOLIDAY CHEER— Stranger Things (@Stranger Things) 1545318737.0
@Stranger_Things HAPPY HOLYDAYS TO THE DEMOGORGON https://t.co/BpB1ZixUK5— 𝑣𝑎𝑙 ⚯͛ (@𝑣𝑎𝑙 ⚯͛) 1545318680.0
@edwardistheman @netflix ok here https://t.co/UwOLIa1T1C— Stranger Things (@Stranger Things) 1545318880.0
We just can't get enough of these talented kids!
Macaulay Culkin Is Having Fans Vote On What He Should Legally Change His Name To—And The Options Are Bizarre 😮
Have you ever wanted to help your favorite celebrity reach their potential by giving them a new name? Fans of Macaulay Culkin will be able to do just that, as he's allowing them to vote and pick his new middle name.
The choices are beyond strange.
Thanks for having me @jimmyfallon @FallonTonight !!! I'll let you know how the name change works out! https://t.co/iIkTC8OyXH— Macaulay Culkin (@Macaulay Culkin) 1543452222.0
In a segment on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, Culkin announced his desire to change his middle name to something else. He allowed people to submit names for the last month, and narrowed those down to the top five.
Some of the suggestions were interesting, to say the least.
@DevonESawa Weird. I'm about to change my middle name. Any good suggestion? Go to https://t.co/BYXGIWJK3g— Macaulay Culkin (@Macaulay Culkin) 1540529059.0
@IncredibleCulk @FallonTonight @jimmyfallon It should be "Culkin, Macaulay" as a middle name. Will be read as: Mac… https://t.co/xRo5AiR8jd— carmineenimrac (@carmineenimrac) 1543469371.0
@IncredibleCulk @jimmyfallon @FallonTonight How did you miss "Macaulay Skulking Culkin"?!— Caleb DAVIS (@Caleb DAVIS) 1543487990.0
@ComicBook @IncredibleCulk Pls add Cacaulay Mulkin as an option— Matt Michler 🌹 (@Matt Michler 🌹) 1543603411.0
@ComicBook @IncredibleCulk Kevin! Obviously.— Andrew 🐼 🐝 (@Andrew 🐼 🐝) 1543603516.0
The official choices: Shark Week, The McRib Is Back, Kieran (submitted by his famous younger brother), Macaulay Culkin, and Publicity Stunt. That last one was suggested by Culkin's girlfriend, actress Brenda Song, and gives away the game.
Fans are still excited to vote for his new name.
@IncredibleCulk @jimmyfallon @FallonTonight Macaulay “Shark Week” Culkin has a nice ring to it.🐰 Vote on… https://t.co/AS5ce275jl— Shark Week (@Shark Week) 1543526453.0
The moment of joy that hopefully comes to us all during the day just transpired for me and funny enough, it took le… https://t.co/stOVPePmpy— Sia Brooks (@Sia Brooks) 1543606608.0
Macaulay Culkin Needs A New Middle Name https://t.co/HO9ZMUM1O1 via @bunnyearsweb @IncredibleCulk I voted for "Kier… https://t.co/jnVAa6NTlp— Stetson (@Stetson) 1543815411.0
I voted for @IncredibleCulk new middle name, what did you do today?— Catalina F 🇨🇱 (@Catalina F 🇨🇱) 1543801274.0
@IncredibleCulk @jimmyfallon @FallonTonight I like Keiran— Melissa (@Melissa) 1543517677.0
McAuley Culkin is allowing fans to vote on what is legal middle name should be, two of the final 5 is “Macauley Cul… https://t.co/KUPTU0HnKR— YOUAREDEAD (@YOUAREDEAD) 1543620499.0
@IncredibleCulk @jimmyfallon @FallonTonight Just for you to know, I voted Macaulay Culkin!— 🍀 Maria (@🍀 Maria) 1543495868.0
This is all a publicity stunt to drive traffic to Culkin's website, Bunny Ears, launched earlier this year in March. The site bills itself as a lifestyle and holistic health brand, similar to Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop. However, the articles are jokes or satirical.
Good luck finding the site if you tried to go there right after the Fallon segment.
@IncredibleCulk @jimmyfallon Look at the bunny ears website now after @jimmyfallon voted on @IncredibleCulk middle… https://t.co/PFAwxsRB8E— Charles John Kelly (@Charles John Kelly) 1543485190.0
With articles like "A Tour Guide Of The Places Where Men Have Dumped Me" in their 'Travel Guides' section, or "Meditative Things White People Can Do While Black People Attempt To Explain White Privilege" under 'Spiritual Wellness,' it's difficult to imagine the site is wanting for traffic.
Time will tell what Culkin's new middle name will be, but as of this writing, it's looking like he'll be known as Macaulay Macaulay Culkin Culkin. Which is a shame, because Macaulay Shark Week Culkin had such a nice ring to it.
H/T: Huffington Post, Bunny Ears