Some of us are just born with brains and beauty... and some of us lack in one or more of those departments. That is just how the brain cells crumble. There really are people running around without common sense or logic that God gave a goose. And what is most frightening? Some of these people are in political positions of power. Now, you know we've all personally come across a person or six that left us shook by a few things that fell out of their mouths. Let's compare notes.Redditor u/your_neighbor420 wanted to hear from everyone about certain people in their lives that may be missing a few marbles by asking... People of reddit, who was the dumbest person you met?
After working in the food service and hospitality industry I can tell you, humanity is in trouble kids. I'm not trying to be mean, but some of the actions I've witnessed, and some of the conversations I eavesdropped on left me stunned. Stunned is the purest way to describe it. Like, how do some people survive everyday without a care giver? Let's discuss...
Stop Typingdumb and dumber GIF Giphy
I know a woman who bragged on Facebook that she scored 84 on her IQ test.... She thought it was out of 100. 🙄.
For the Jordans
A customer who thought he should be able to get the Jordan Bred 11s for 90% off because of 2 "coupons" he had. One of these coupons was a print out of a 70% off clearance promotion from Nike's website and the other was a 20% off coupon from Payless that expired in 2017. I've never been more confused, frustrated, and exasperated than I was during the 10 minute interaction where myself, two managers and a customer tried to explain to this man why this wasn't going to happen.
Numbers are Hard
I was put in charge of training a girl at a coffee shop I worked at. She didn't know how to make coffee, I literally had to tell her "ok, now pour the coffee in until it reaches this line, no, pour it slower don't dump the whole pot over the cup." When trying to train her on register I don't know if she couldn't or just refused to count.
A total would be $5.98 and she'd tell the person it was $6, when people gave her anything but bills she'd stare at the change and ask me how much that was or she'd say "that's $2 right?" And there'd be like 50¢ on the counter in dimes and pennies. I tried training her on sandwich station, she would pack the food frozen into the bags and just hand it out. On her breaks I'd have to constantly remind her that 15 minutes means 15 minutes, not 20, not 30, not an hour.
We were allowed to have food at work for free within reason and only in the back. She would reach into the pastry case with her bare hand, pick up an item and just eat it at register or right next to the case. There was a lot more she'd do wrong and it got to the point where I thought she was trying to purposefully get fired.
No Day But TodayJudge Judy Reaction GIF by Agent M Loves Gifs Giphy
A girl who agreed on time changes but disagreed I was talking to her on my Sunday when it was her Saturday. I lived in Australia at the time.
During college I worked at a 7/11 for a few months and one time had to train a girl to use the register and she didn't know how to count coins. She had to give someone change and she turns to me and asks me what coins and how many of them make 43 cents or whatever the amount was and both the customer and I were speechless.
All I can do is shake my head and pray. Half of those aren't even that shocking. To be fair, math can be a stumbling block for many of us. In this day and age basic change can be an issue with younger generations as coins become obsolete, thanks to the power of plastic. That is a big part of the problem... the lack of basic life educations disappearing. Let's keep reading...
We were in history class, taking a pop quiz. one of the questions was "where is pearl harbor?" someone raised their hand and asked "who is pearl harbor? and why would I know where he is?"
It's me. I had trouble focusing in school and thought pearl harbor was a person.
My first girlfriend, about 20 years, I showed her one of those newspapers at the time that had made up stories about alien abductions etc, Weekly World News I think it was. One of the headlines was "Belgium Destroyed By Giant Asteroid And No One Noticed For 2 Months" and she thought it was real. Thing was she wasn't actually dumb, just really innocent and naive.
Ex-girlfriend. I once said out loud "I wonder how dolphins have sex?" She said, with conviction "There aren't boy dolphins and girl dolphins. They're just dolphins." You know, like magical.
And she argues with me for about 2 hours.
You Are Where?
For months, I've been dealing with a client who doesn't get their bills.
Every month, they call and ask where it is, we confirm their address and the expected arrival date, I manually generate a new invoice, and e-mail it over.
Today, when confirming the address for like the 6th time, they said "oh, no, that's not my town or zip" and submitted an address change.
How the hell do you not know where you live?
Bless Her...Confused Threes Company GIF by MOODMAN Giphy
My ex-gf thought rhinoceroses were dinosaurs. Then, we were watching King Kong and toward the end of the movie she asked if it was based on a true story.
Worked at a bank for a (blessedly) short time. Had a 60 year old woman that asked, "What do you mean my account balance is negative?? I still have checks, so I still have money!"
Had a friend in HS that could predict rain by looking at the stars... if the big dipper was upside down "the water would pour out and it would rain tomorrow" She was 17.
Holy crap, I'm ready...
Let me tell you about this woman that my uncle dated for a while. She was really a special kind of dumb. I'm just gonna go ahead and list the top 3 that I can remember, but I'm sure there's more. These were all relayed to me years later as I wasn't around at the time. It's a running joke between some family members.
- Thought pork chops came from horses.
- Met a guy who had lost a portion of his ear in some kind of accident. Upon meeting she just asked him with no class at all: "Hey, what happened to your ear?" His response: "I turned my head too fast and bit my earlobe off." She was totally cool with that answer.
- Went grocery shopping and assumed that whatever number of chicken legs came in a pack was how many legs that chicken must have had.
There was also something to do with a moose, but I can't remember the specifics on that.
A girl in my class in high school asked the teacher where the sky was. Like she genuinely had no idea and when we tried to explain to her that the sky was above us outside she was like "no that's the ceiling".
"At night it's called the moon!"
"No like SUPER thick glasses."
In fourth grade we had a motivational speaker come in and talk to us who was completely blind since birth. At the end they had time for questions and a girl asked why they didn't just wear super thick glasses. When the person replied that they cannot see ANYTHING, so there would be nothing to magnify, the girl said "No like SUPER thick glasses." We were only in fourth grade but we all were looking at her like holy shit how do you not get this. The blind dude just shook his head.
A friend's partner said she was vegan. Another friend jokingly said 'you're not vegan, you eat corn on the cob, which is actually the spine of a cow'. Aforementioned friend's partner started crying about how much she loved eating cow spine and was really upset, genuine tears of sorrow at how she wasn't a vegan at all.
From that day forth, corn was known as Cow spine on the cob and their relationship didn't last for too long, probably a week after she asked why Mel Gibson didn't just phone the English King to negotiate in Braveheart...
Uncle telling us about a guy he worked with. Guy buys a nice, new car. Car comes with cruise control and built in GPS. Guy wrecks new car. Apparently he typed in an address and set the cruise control. He thought that he didn't have to drive after setting in where he wanted to go, the car would just take him where he wanted to go.
Falling DownFalling Down Fall GIF by Julian Frost Giphy
I worked a security post with a guy who didn't understand the concept of gravity. I thought he was joking at first, but he was serious. To be fair to him, he did pick it up pretty quick when I taught him.
True story. Kid in my neighborhood. Someone must have told him that if he shone a flashlight in one ear, light would come out the other ear. He didn't know i was looking. He held a flashlight to one ear and his open palm at the other. He turned on the light and tried to turn his head real fast to see his palm. He did this several times. Never caught the light. I was in awe at his stupidity.
Human race? You in danger girl. Yes some people are just... "special." And that can be just as endearing as it is dangerous. I guess it depends on the person or the situation. Let's just try to not give any of these people the nuclear codes. Ok?
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Sometimes friendships don't last forever. Especially when they exist within a big group of friends--that's when things can get messy, especially when you're young. Eventually, you grow up and realize that the drama just isn't worth it, and part ways.
This seems to be a universal experience. 606hound asked:
Why did your friend group break up?
This phenomenon seems to happen the most after high school. It can be tragic, but sometimes it just doesn’t make sense to be friends anymore.
It’s a lot of work to stay in touch as adults.
“Time and distance means both parties have to work at it to keep it going. There are a lot of people I thought I'd remain friends with all my life who are now people I will always remain in contact with, and if they ever want to try and reconnect, my door is open, and I hope the same offer is open to me should I want to reach out.
I think there's also something to the idea that what made us friends back then isn't who we are today. The friends I am still friends with from my high school days or my university days or my first job days have grown up with me and like me for who I am now, not who I was when we first met, and vice versa. There are people I stay in touch with for the sake of shared history who I am confident we will never make new memories together. That's okay. I care about them to the extent that I like to know they're doing okay, and that's enough for both of us.”
It’s best to avoid people like this.Tim And Eric Smile GIFGiphy
“It was three of us and we were inseparable back in high school. Then, when the girl I was crushing on started hanging out with us more, one of my friends started acting different. At first, he was going out of his way to look good in front of her and like a really good/funny guy. It was annoying. Then it moved to him lying to me and talking sh*t about me to her and other people. And finally, he started to flirt her under the thinly veiled excuse of "wrestling."
A dozen talks and all of them ending in him threatening suicide later, I told him to f*ck off and broke it off."
Gotta grow up at some point.
“Everyone was really fun as a group for the first couple years, but as we got older some grew up and others didn't. Which led to some people doing some sh*tty things to others in the group that brought on some fights and arguments which eventually split everyone up.
There are a few members of the group that I stay in contact with but we will likely never hang out as a group again.”
They had to learn their lesson twice with these folks.
“Girl A told girl B that this boy was cheating on B. B called A a liar and physically fought her. All my friends took different sides. I remained neutral like Switzerland. I am now the one with no friends since those backing A were angry I was still talking to those backing B and viceversa.
Edit for answers:
- The guy was cheating but made B think she was crazy for believing A. He was abusive and toxic. They are still together 15 years down the line and have 2 children.
- I sort of took A's side as she was right but my best friend (C) took B's side. A had no problem with me talking to B and the ones on her side. My then best friend C got jealous I was also talking to A and got the girls on A's side to stop talking to A.
- Whole group rekindled about a year later, apologies were exchanged. B never joined any plan as the guy didn't want her to see her friends.
- When me and A started uni (we were the only two from the group that went to university) everyone stopped calling us as we were broke students and didn't have money for clubbing. We tried to organise free plans but no one was interested.
Lost the same group twice. Better off without them. Girl A is still my best friend.”
Unfortunately, there are common traits between people in a friendship that one might outgrow, like partying, drugs, or other reckless activities.
Drugs can tear apart any relationship.comedy central GIF by The Jim Jefferies ShowGiphy
Steve always had a coke problem and so did Shane. Then I got one and it was bad. All the girlfriends blamed Steve and Shane for what happened to me as they introduced me to it.
Then Steve got too coked out while I was at rehab and beat the sh*t out of Shane.
I still talk to Shane occasionally hoping he's ready to quit drinking but the rest of them are long gone.
Growing up means losing friends.
“I think most of my group still hangs out. But over the last five years, I've just stopped talking to them.
I used to be a huge partier, but had a major health event that has effectively ended it. I no longer drink or do hard drugs.
I just lost interest with them since it all revolved around getting messed up. I used to go out maybe a few times a year, but after the social distancing this past year, I lost touch even more. On top of that, my longest friend unexpectedly died due to drugs earlier this year. I'm glad I got out when I did because I was on track for the same fate.
On top of that, I stopped doing Facebook and that has contributed as well. I recently saw they all got together for some 100 days celebration of my friend dying but nobody invited me and I found out after the fact.
Sometimes you just grow up and leave it behind."
All went in different directions.
“I was part of a group of 6 that hung out the summer after high school graduation. This is what happened.
One liked drugs.
One became a cop.
One got sent to jail.
One moved to Oregon.
One is still getting his Masters.
I'm just working.
I still hang out with the guy getting his masters and the guy from Oregon will come back home sometimes.”
Sometimes we just outgrow people. It’s a part of becoming an adult.
Don’t bang your band mates.band jamming GIFGiphy
“Not as much as a friend group, but a band. I was in a pop punk band in high school, and we were together for about 2 years just playing local shows and sucking at writing songs together.
My junior year, I (vocals) started dating the guitar player. Turns out, the bassist and the keyboard player also both had the hots for me. Bassist and Keyboard player dipped, other guitar guy and drummer awkwardly backed out, and me and girlfriend/guitar player did acoustic covers together for another year and a half before she cheated on me and we broke up.
Moral of the story, don't bang your bandmates.”
“Some friends had very clear mental health issues. One decided to lash out and cut contact for seemingly no reason, another just straight up ghosted everyone and we never found out why.
One of my good buddies from highschool has problems with alcohol and also wants to be a cop despite being racist and sexist. He made a sexual comment to my wife while blacked out and refused to take responsibility. Another friend freaked out months later screaming at us for daring to hold him to account and said a bunch of awful things, we haven't heard from her since.
Growing up f*cking sucks sometimes.”
Something I wish I learned when I was younger was that if a friendship is toxic, it’s more than ok to let them go. It’s no use clinging to people who don’t value you, or are just plain problematic. You’re allowed to leave.
It’s honestly better to just have a few close friends anyway. Friend groups are too dramatic.
What is it about "Dad Jokes" that's grown in popularity as of late?
Reddit user, u/20davidtocommandcode, wanted to get a good chuckle when they asked:
Fathers of reddit, what is you're favorite dad joke?
The simplicity, and quick, "Ohh, I get it," nature of a well-formed Dad Joke is what makes them special. Take notes, add them to your phone, and make sure you have these in your back pocket to bust out at any time.
"Puts car in reverse gear"
"Wow, this really takes me back."
Raining Medical Jokes
"Dogs can't operate MRI machines."
Duh. It's Science.
"Which animals can jump higher than the Eiffel tower?"
"All of them, the Eiffel tower can't jump."
Say It Out Loud...
"Have you heard of Murphy's Law? It is "Anything that can wrong will go wrong"
"How about Cole's Law?"
"It is thinly sliced cabbage with a creamy dressing."
No Relish, Though.
"A Buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog cart, says: "Make me one with everything."
Watches, Chocolate, Jokes, They Can Do It All
"What's the best thing about Switzerland?"
"Well, its flag is a big plus…"
They Wanted To Wipe Their Slate Clean
"Did you hear about the criminal who stole all the toilets from the police station?"
"He didn't leave any evidence. Poor cops have nothing to go on."
Please Pick Up Your Amphibian At The Nearest Lot
"What do you call an illegally parked frog?"
That's An Academy Award Winning Joke, Right There
"Did you hear about that actor that got stabbed? Reece something...."
"No, with a knife."
So really, what is it about dad jokes that tickles us so much? For some, it might have something to do with connecting the person who told them it in the first place.
It's The Long Pause. That'll Seal The Deal.
"The only time I remember my dad making a pun.
He planted vegetables in a small plot in our suburban backyard.
I asked what he planted.
"Summer squash," he said.
"And some aren't."
One of my favorite memories."
Shut. Up. Filled With Love.
"When I was a kid I was riding in the car with my Dad and the gum I was chewing tasted like bananas, but it wasn't banana flavor. So I asked my Dad "Why does this gum taste like bananas?"
"He turned to me and pretending I was telling a joke said "I don't know, why?" So I responded with "Shut up." and he said "That joke isn't very funny.". Then we both laughed."
"It became a running joke through his life, he would ask some random question and when I responded with "I don't know" he would tell me to shut up. And we would laugh."
"I miss him every day and that joke still makes me laugh."
Comforting Dad Pranks
"Not really a dad joke, but I told my grandsons that my new car's back window wiper was voice activated on rainy/snowy days. We picked them up from school for a long time (pre-covid.) They get in the car on a rainy day and I'll hear "ON!" from one of them (I turn on the wiper) and the other will shout "OFF!!" (I turn it off...) this goes on all the way home and I started it back in 2018!"
Forging Memories To Last Forever
"I just did the 'ol "Hi hungry, I'm dad" joke to my son for the very first time ever a couple weeks ago, been waiting so long to pull that one! Definitely my favorite!"
"What was your son's reaction[?]"
"He actually laughed! I thought he might be slightly too young to get the joke, but he's pretty quick witted for 3-1/2 years old!"
Now get cracking with the laughing.
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Truth is stranger than fiction – which is why documentaries are so fascinating to watch.
Even some fictional movies are stories derived from real-life events or people, past or present.
In my humble opinion, Michael Moore makes excellent documentaries about social injustices and he fearlessly reveals the cracks and corruption within our government.
But some topics are meant to be explored beyond the two-hour-plus running time in movies. Which is why Netflix brought Tiger King as a docuseries, and it left audiences completely dumbfounded.
"What is the most insane documentary you've ever seen?"
People with unstable minds do the unthinkable, and our eyes are glued to the screen.
The Tragedy Of Timothy Treadwell
"Grizzly Man by Werner Herzog. It's a documentary about Timothy Treadwell, an environmentalist who spent 13 summers in Alaska camping out with grizzly bears and eventually gets eaten along with his girlfriend. And it was caught on tape, because he filmed everything. Dude was clearly not all there, just a sad story, but fascinating."
Devils In Our Midst
"Evil Genius. It's about the aftermath of a bank robbery in which the bank robber was a captive who had a bomb collar strapped to their neck. It's definitely one hell of a watch."
"There's an excellent documentary on an incident during the Troubles in Northern Ireland called 'No Stone Unturned'. It's an investigative journalism piece about British forces' collusion and coverup of the 1994 Loughinisland Massacre, when six people in a bar watching Ireland play in the World Cup were murdered by masked paramilitary gunmen with assault rifles."
"The methodical, step-by-step investigation and laying out of the (very incriminating!) evidence makes for a truly fascinating watch. Two of the filmmakers were later arrested by the PSNI and then released."
"Not an easy watch, but highly recommend it."
These are apparently psychologically riveting.
Leaving The Past In The Past
"Tell me who I am was the most heartbreaking documentary I've ever seen. It's about these twin brothers and one of them gets into a bad motorcycle accident when he was 18 and doesn't remember anything from before. His brother has to decide whether to tell him everything or let him live in ignorant bliss."
"It's the story of this kid who went missing when he was 12 or 13 and then reappeared something like 10 years later. It documents him getting back to and reuniting with his family. But get this: it wasn't the actual missing kid, but instead a French scam artist who did this sh*t serially."
"Now what makes the doc crazy is the story is told with interviews from the family and the f'king scam artist. He obviously a sociopath so he just calmy explains his motives and justifications for getting this poor family's hopes up. There's footage of all this as well as reenactments with the guy. It's super creepy."
"I haven't seen too many but so far Dear Zachary."
"On top of being one of the saddest movies I've ever seen, that reveal was immensely f'ked up. Not to mention f'king terrifying with all that red light and screaming sounds."
And these films are considered completely wackadoodle.
Kink Takes A Turn
"Tickled. Thought it was going to be just a fun and weird look at a goofy sport but it was so disturbing and wild."
Deadly Amusement Park
"Class Action Park. It's about this old amusement park in New Jersey called Action Park that had an insane number of injuries. Former employees and guests talk about each ride and what made it fun and unsafe. There are animations of people getting hurt so those parts aren't too hard to watch. It also includes interviews about a specific fatality so I do want to make that clear as a trigger warning. But mostly it's a fascinating look at how kids grew up in the 80's and 90's and whether that was the best thing. There's a lot of nostalgia but I don't think anyone wants their kid to be the one who's fatally electrocuted on a kayak ride."
"The McDonald's monopoly scam documentary, McMillion$. I'd never heard of it before, so it was really interesting and pretty insane."
Good Time Country
"The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia! Produced by Johnny Knoxville, it's about backwoods toe-dancer Jeaco White and his hillbilly family. Wildly entertaining - seen it 4 times."
"I watched one about fyre festival."
"The sh*t that went down was insane."
"Internet historian does a good take on things."
One docuseries that stayed with me was Don't F**k With Cats.
It was a Netflix doc about how amateur sleuths of the internet managed to lead a manhunt looking for Canadian pornographic actor, Luka Magnotta – whose penchant for torturing cute kittens for fun and posting his cruel acts on social media led him to murder Chinese international student, Jun Lin.
At the end of the series, I didn't know what I just saw and it took a while to process the absolutely bonkers turn of events.
And it's not for the faint of heart to watch.
Whether the person delivering the remark is joking or dead serious and miserable, chances are that we'll be insulted plenty of times in our lives.
And the worst thing that can happen is to freeze.
Nobody wants to be a dear in the headlights when someone decided to bully them. Instead, it's best to be prepared.
A recent Reddit thread asked people to pool their best comebacks to insults they could come up with. Thanks to them, we can walk around stocked with some return fire on the occasion we do fall prey to a person's put downs.
Redditor Concert-Extra asked:
"What is your go-to comeback when insulted?"
Of course, there were plenty of witty one-liners proposed. The hope here is that wittiness of the comeback trumps the intelligence level of the insult that provoked it.
It's all math.
" 'I've been called worse by better men' " -- Atbunyar
"Stealing that, thanks" -- GSavvage
Saying It Without Saying It
"Let's play horse: I'll be the head and you be yourself."
"If they say 'fu** you.' I say 'not even if you paid me.' "
"I say, 'I'm not that desperate, and you're not that lucky...' " -- webjocky
"If the insult is funny / good, laugh with them. If it's bad, laugh at them, and just go 'you know what buddy, we'll give you another crack at that one if you'd like.' "
Others advocated against getting into the weeds with a counter-insult. Instead, they advised a response that, above all, thrived on its absurdity to leave the insulter as puzzled as possible.
"Complete silence… let the uncomfortable sizzle and sink in. It's debilitating to the ego." -- LivingBeneficial3814
"That's what I do. Insults only have validity if the issuer thinks it worked." -- trenchfootflyfisher
Annoy, Annoy, Annoy
"Ask them to repeat themselves. Then do it again." -- Global-Ad404
"This is the best one because a good insult relies on timing. Having them repeat it makes it sound dumb and mean." -- Elephinker
"i just say 'and then?' and i keep saying it after every insult until they run out of insults." -- snodnif
"and theeeeeeeeeeeeeen?" -- Ninkaso
Finally, some advocated the "kill them with kindness" approach.
Opening Things Up
"When somebody is insulting me without any purpose, I just tell them 'bad day, huh?' "
"I swear, 90% of the people almost immediately calm down and even apologise to me, beacuse they seriously had a bad day and they just had too much bad energy without a way to let it go."
"There's no need to fight back, sometimes we need a good approach to end the argument and calm down the attacker."
"You doing alright, bud?" -- 7788445511220011
"Oooo the condescending use of 'bud.' Nice touch." -- Kuli24
"noooooooo not the BUD!!!! he's to evil to be left alive" -- Kbirt24
Wind Out of the Sails
"I don't get insulted often but the odd chance when it happens I say 'God Bless You' It either enrages them or they look confused for some reason."
Here's to you leaving here with 10 comebacks in your back pocket.
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