'Don't You Know Who I Am?' People Share The Biggest 'Dick Move' Moments They've Ever Witnessed.

We've all had moments in our lives that we look back on and cringe at how much of a jerk we were. But not all of us are willing to share those stories online...
Here are some of the worst "dick move" moments people have either seen or done.
Many thanks to the Redditors who posed these questions. You can check out more answers from the sources at the end of this article!
1. Bartending once, I picked up a table so a server could go home early and the guests at the table were super rude to me. They wouldn't call me by my name just kept calling me different racial slurs.
I smiled and gave them great service, but it was clear they were trying to get something free. When they asked for my manager I couldn't hear what they were telling him but the couple seated at the end of the bar near their table spoke up and told my manager they were lying.
We ended up calling the police when they refused to pay their tab which was over a hundred dollars. They ended up paying it then my manager comped $10 off so I could get a tip. I tried to buy the nice couple at the bar a round and my manager comped that too.
aquintana
2. A friend of mine was having really bad stomach pains around our sophomore year of high school. Like most guys do, we made fun of him and told him to suck it up. He told me he wasn't messing around so I told him to man up and gave him a quick but light punch in the abs. He crippled over in pain and started crying. He left school in an ambulance. His appendix burst because of me, and he spent three weeks in the hospital. We are now 20 and he is my best friend.
daveywavy
3. Whenever my friends brag about the cool stuff their parents bought them I say "I wish I had parents." My parents are dead so it's a downer for everyone.
code_reuse_boss
4. I was at an Apple service provider waiting for an iPod Nano replacement when this guy who was talking to another Apple employee started threatening her.
He was furious because she wouldn't replace his iPad. She was extremely (and unbelievably) patient and repeatedly tried to explain to him that the store was just an authorized service provider and not an Apple store and that they would need approval from Apple's regional office to replace his iPad. (continued...)
He asked for a piece of paper, scrawled his Twitter handle on it and repeatedly told the girl to check it to see how many followers he had. "You'll be surprised," he said.
"I'll be tweeting about this. Show your manager and maybe they'll change their mind."
He also said his number of followers "will put a dent on Apple" and that he'll never buy another Apple product again. He also repeatedly threw down his iPhone onto the counter to demonstrate that he couldn't break it. He was still at it when I left. Nuts.
Wonderturkey
5. Retail manger here.
My store has a really crappy price match policy. There are a few things we will not match, one of those is when you need to use a loyalty card to get the deal.
I had an older gentleman come in to price match 5 bottles of Pepsi. We sold them for $1.50 and a competitor sold them for $1. Couldn't price match because the competitor deal needed their loyalty card.
This is where it went from zero to ludicrous in 3 seconds. The guy grabbed one of the bottles, starts to open it and says "Well, if you won't match it I guess I have to pour this pop over your register, what are you going to do then?" followed with a smirk. I kept my cool, didn't miss a beat and stated "OK, I am going to have to call the cops then."
He got super upset and couldn't understand why I would call the cops for him and I tried to explain that he just threatened to vandalize the store's property. After he understood, he walked out.
All over $2.50.
jivesukka
6. A friend of mine had his appendix taken out, and couldn't eat solid foods for a week afterwards. He absolutely loves grilled cheese sandwiches, and after a few days of hospital food all he was talking about was eating a grilled cheese sandwich. So, just to be a dick, I made a grilled cheese sandwich for myself every night for dinner. I took detailed pictures of preparing the sandwiches, cooking them, stuffing them in my face, and sent them to him every night just to be a dick. In fact, we refer to grilled cheese sandwiches as 'dick sandwiches' now.
The best part? I'm severely lactose intolerant. The sandwiches tasted awful, and I spent hours in the bathroom after each one. But it was worth it just to be a dick.
stormkeeper
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7. When I was 18, I worked at a Toys R Us, and a lot of people thought that it was a fun job because we're surrounded by toys. It wasn't. People get wild about their toys and games for their brat kids. But one guy always stands out.
I was working the customer service desk which entailed returns, check outs, answering phones...One day I was working the desk and there was a long line of people. Everyone was being very patient with me answering phones and helping everyone check out, but this one guy had an attitude right away.
He kept mumbling loudly about how horribly rude I was, and that I wasn't working fast enough. He bought his crap and walked away. I thought it was over, but he quickly came back into the store, and cut the entire line. He started telling me to find him a pair of scissors so he could open his purchase. I calmly explained that I didn't have a pair of scissors (and I really didn't). He then proceeded to come around the desk, physically push me out of the way, and start opening all off the draws. My manager witnessed the whole thing and came over and told him to get out of the store.
The guy then screamed at my manager to call the police and see if he cared. We didn't have to call the police, because there was an off duty one in line, and he quickly explained to the man that he was being detained until police arrived. He quickly shut up, and was subsequently arrested for disorderly conduct and harassment. Enjoy your toys.
CatLadyofNY
8. I once worked at a little gaming store next to a big retailer. I don't get commission or anything, just helped kids pick out games and whatever. Sell the odd Xbox here and there. Some guy comes in asking me to match the retailers deal on a Nintendo DS, for whatever management reason, I couldn't do it. He starts to get pissed off, and there's nothing I can do, my hands are tied. So he leaves. I think nothing of it, then he walks past about 15 minutes later and screams from the door "I GOT IT FROM (big retail store) FOR (whatever price) AND I'M NEVER COMING BACK, YOU LOSER".
...I was a 15 year old girl.
DrinkingCoconut
9. I worked at a local Cold Stone when I was a kid. This shop was owned by a family who had kids in my high school, so I was pretty close with the owners. On a particularly busy afternoon I was whipping up someone's ice cream when I overhear things getting heated at the cash register. (continued...)
One of our owners Lynn was working there and an upset woman was complaining about the price of her order. Lynn broke down each item and how much tax was to which the customer responded that she deserved a discount and if she didn't get one that she would be calling her good friends, who owned this establishment. Lynn calmly said, "I'm Lynn and I own this establishment. Please leave." I've never seen someone turn red so fast.
apfeif
10. Anytime anybody says "don't you know who I am?!" ...ugh...
GiantSquidd
11. I was in the gas station waiting behind this woman who just started freaking out because when she asked for "20 on 7" the man replied "premium or regular?".
This woman went berserk. Spouting racial slurs, asking why he needed to know what type of gas she wanted, and all sorts of things. She threatened to tell the manager that the man was harassing her and he would be fired. I stepped up and said "Lady, it's his job to ask. He needs to know so he can activate the pumps. For you."
She just looked at me and then stormed out. I got a free snickers bar from the employee.
ViolentOctopus
12. I spent the past couple of days on a Greyhound that was going across the country (Canada) and we pulled into Quebec. The security guard spoke fluent English (Overheard a cell phone conversation) but seemed to be a massive jerk.
People who asked him if he spoke English usually did so in French, and he responded with yes and helped them out. A little girl who couldn't have been more than 15 came up and asked him if he spoke English. When I chatted with her later I found out her English was pretty raw and she moved to Canada from Taiwan about 3 years ago. (continued...)
The security guard said No English repeatedly and she looked distressed. She had asked a few others but no one had really responded and he looked like the only person working at the terminal at that moment. The ticket counters were closed, and no janitors or anything similar.
She went around asking others but the people who responded didn't know the answers she was looking for. She promptly started crying. I went over and helped her as best I could. When the Security guy walked past he simply laughed at her and called a friend on his phone where he spoke nothing but flawless English.
Anonymous
13. First one was just about a perfectly healthy 65 year old who decided to deprive a mother and her severely mentally handicapped child from parking in a handicap space. He went on to just scoff and walk away when she called him out on it. No justice was done, sadly. :(
xBrutalSandwichx
14. I was drunk at this dive bar. Everyone was dancing and there was this table full of open beers. I sat on the table and it collapsed.
All the beers crashed to floor as I grabbed mine, a Guinness. The music stopped, everyone stared at me with anger as I took a swig... And said, "I still got mine."
I walked right out.
Anonymous
15. Not sure if this is good guy or dick move. Half half I suppose. The story begins with my best friends girlfriend - later wife. She got pregnant, and they got married because he thought it was his. They latter separated on terrible terms. She won custody, and would not let my mate see "their" son.
We were roommates at this time. I eventually told him the truth, and while he was angry at first, he eventually asked me to sue for custody, as he felt that she was not taking proper care of the child. Long story short, I won the suit and ending up living with my best friend, and what we eventually decided was "our" son.
myl1ls3cret
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16. When I was in grade school, there was a girl in my younger brother's class whose family was quite poor. One winter day while waiting for the bus home, I noticed that she was wearing these old, ugly, hand-me-down mittens and I made fun of her. A lot. In front of other people. I thought I was somehow being cool and funny, but my brother saw it for what it was and told our parents. I ended up getting a big scolding and had to publicly apologize to the girl the next day.
Looking back on my life, I have done some stupid things and some mean things, but this moment is probably one of the things I am most ashamed of in my life. And I'm ashamed that it took my brother and my parents for me to see that I was being a horrible person and needed to apologize.
stcompletelydiffrent
17. As someone who was a waitress for a long time and also worked in retail, I can't beg people enough to say something when you see a customer acting like a total douche to an employee.
The employee can't do anything without risking his/her job, but you have the power to put jerks like this in their place and the employee will (most likely) be forever grateful.
Also, real life karma!
linds360
When it comes to electing a leader, the choice is an easy one if a potential candidate shares the same values as yours.
And while a candidate is fit to lead remains to be seen, we rely on our instinct to choose someone with whom we can relate.
But sometimes, our options are limited and we inevitably go with someone who is the lesser of two evils.
Curious to hear from strangers online about a hypothetical, Redditor Cashmeresquid2309 asked:
"Americans of Reddit, would you vote for an openly Atheist presidential candidate? Why or why not?"

Redditors were quick to point out the answer was a no-brainer.
We Already Know The Answer
"Asking Reddit if they'd vote for an atheist..."
"I feel like the answer would be obvious."
– sarahmagoo
Sci-Fi Analogy
"Americans of Reddit, would you vote for a Star Wars fan who heckin loves doggos?"
– WitnessChemical
For The Atheists In The Crowd
"Atheists of atheistville, would you vote for an open atheist?"
– nixcamic
Others weighed in with a range of opinions.
About 45
"What's funny is how many of them would probably say no, even though they voted for Trump and would do so again. Say whatever else you want about him, but I seriously can't understand how anyone could genuinely believe Trump is a Christian. He's so obviously faking it and is undoubtedly the most atheistic president we've ever had or are likely to have for a long time."
"This is a guy who's never even so much as read the Bible or attended church, who told a conservative radio host his favorite Bible verse was 'an eye for an eye', who told evangelical interviewers that he's never asked God for forgiveness because he's never done anything wrong, and who routinely commits all 7 deadly sins (pride, greed, wrath, envy, lust, gluttony and sloth) without remorse."
– empfindsamkeit
From A Different Perspective
"Not an american but interestingly according to this survey on 1006 people from 2007, being atheist was the worst thing you could be as a candidate (of the things asked) with only 45 % of people saying they'd vote for one."
– ilovecatfish
An atheist candidate isn't necessarily a big strike.
Double Negative
"I wouldn’t not vote for someone just because they were atheist."
– HabitualEnthusiast
Credibility First
"This is it. If they’re running on platforms I support with a history to back up those campaign promises, I don’t care if they belong to the church of the flying spaghetti monster. They could literally be a member of the satanic temple and I, an actual practicing Christian, would give less shi*s than a constipated sloth."
"Edit: yes, I realize the Satanic Temple does not actually worship satan. I used it for that purpose. The Church of Satan has some…problematic views and I probably would not vote for someone who literally holds a platform of eugenics."
– Phoenix_of_Asclepius
Some view the role of religion in politics as important.
It Depends
"Religion can be relevant: I would have strong reservations about voting for a Scientologist, even if I agreed with the policies they proposed. I would have strong reservations voting for a member of an apocalyptic cult or, possibly worse, a follower of the (highly heretical) 'prosperity gospel,' which unfortunately includes more and more so-called 'evangelicals' — I didn't vote for George W. Bush, but it's not because he was an evangelical."
"It depends on the role: I'd probably be more flexible with a legislator than an executive (mayor, governor, president), as their character is IMO more important than for a legislator and their policy stances somewhat less important relative to a legislator."
"Satanic temple — well, that's just an organized group of atheists and humanists with an intentionally inflammatory choice of name. They're generally fine people."
– alyssasaccount
A Bad Rap
"The Satanic Temple is an excellent organization that every decent person should be able to respect. A Church of Satan member, not so much."
"There's a huge difference between them!"
– StarsEatArtBooks
And Redditor boganvegan said it best.
"Better an open atheist than a fake Christian."
It all boils down to trustworthiness. Without full transparency, how could anyone put their faith in a candidate who spews nothing but lies?
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Being home alone isn't always the most tranquil thing.
No one is there to help or protect you.
And things that go "bump" in the night... sometimes they do more than bump.
Redditor ag9910 wanted to hear about the times home felt like an unsafe place to be. They asked:
"What is the scariest, strangest, most unexplainable thing that has happened to you while home alone?"
I'm always freaked out when I'm home alone. Lights on. Yeah, my electric bill is high.
Dorothy?
"I dreamed the front door blew open at the exact time the house alarm went off... I hopped up and sure enough, the front door was open. No intruder."
fatowl
I See You
"Not home alone but only one in right side of the house. Went to my mom's bathroom to wash my hands and saw a pair of feet behind the half open door. Laughed and said 'very funny Ma, I see you.' then finished up and left. Bumped into my mother in the kitchen unpacking, nobody else was in the house. I'm glad whatever was behind the door didn't peek out."
SatanWithFur
“It’s Doug!”
"One night I had forgotten to lock my apartment door and woke up in the middle of the night. My bedroom door was about 2 feet from my front door, as you walked into the apartment. First a big dog ran by, then a person. Holy crap I was so scared and I screeched 'Who is it?!?!!'"
"A man said 'It’s Doug!' As I was thinking to myself, who the f**k is Doug, he said 'oh, crap.' He turned around to go back out the front door saying 'Sorry.' I asked 'Didn’t you have a dog with you?' He said 'Oh, yeah. Hey, c’mon!.' He left, his dog ran out after him and I locked my front door."
"Edit: glad you all thought this was funny, because I did too, once my heart quit trying to beat right out of my chest! The next day the girls at work thought I was crazy for not being upset, but eh, done is done. Peace!"
scarletohairy
Confused...
"My sister and I were home alone and we heard someone big running up the stairs. The stairs make lots of noise with slight pressure so when there’s someone big on them you can tell. I went out of my room to check but saw no one anywhere and my sister also came out of her room and she asked if that was me I said no and we both looked around to see if there was anyone but found no one in the whole house. We were confused and called our parents and just waited until they got back and that was that."
JtSudbury04
I See You
"I very clearly saw a guy walk into my room. But when I went after him there was nobody there. I checked in the closet, under my bed, everywhere one could hide in my room."
HighlyOffensive10
This is why home video surveillance is key.
"NO"
"My parents were on a road trip, just left, and I sat down at my desk. I thought 'Weekend alone by myself' and a voice yelled into my right ear 'NO' so loud it hurt."
Th4ab
Wild
"I managed to lock myself out of my house on my birthday during a tornado while trying to bring my cats to the basement for safety. I later found out that the tornado was approximately a couple miles or less from me at that exact time. The sky was green and it got weirdly calm and then I could hear what sounded like a train coming before I found an unlocked window to climb through. Wild times."
SilverGnarwhal
Saturday morning in the 80s...
"I wasn't home alone but I was awake by myself one Saturday morning in the 80s when I was around 7 or so. I believe my mom was the only one home because my dad went to the lake to go fishing that weekend, and I'm not sure where my older brothers were, maybe they went with him, idk."
"Anyways, my mom's sleeping in, and I'm in the living room by myself, watching Saturday morning cartoons and making a fort out of sheets and cushions. Something made me turn around and I saw my dad in his pajamas standing in the hallway entrance with his hands on his hips, looking the mess I was making and shaking his head."
"He then turned around and walked into my room, which was just off the hallway entrance. Dude. I didn't even look, I just booked it to my parents room and woke my mom up. I don't remember what happened after that, this was around 35 years ago. And yes, my dad was fine, nothing had happened to him."
smriversong
Get the Bat...
"I was at home by myself on a call with some friends when all of a sudden my dog begins to bark like crazy, which was odd since it was the middle of the night and he's usually sleep. I go downstairs to check on him and find him barking at our hall closet, terrified I grabbed my bat that I keep in my room just in case and open the door. There was nothing out of usual at first at then I look down and notice a familiar looking object at the bottom of the closet."
"It was my mom's necklace she had lost when I was 9, (i'm 15 now just to put in perspective how long it's been). I showed it to my mom at breakfast and she was just as shocked as I was. I still have no clue how it got there or how my dog knew it was in there, definitely one of the oddest occurrences of my life."
SomeRandomIdiot14
Meow
"Many years ago, I was 14 or so, my first night alone in the house when my parents were out. Lying on the living room floor reading, my cat sleeping next to me."
"Suddenly, cat wakes up, stares intently into the dark corner of the room behind me, hair on end, growls and then bolts out of the room and upstairs. I look behind me and see nothing, but follow cat upstairs and hide under the covers. Freaked me out."
LairdofWingHaven
Thank God for alarms. I hate being home alone.
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The human body is still such a mystery.
How much do we really know?
Not a lot apparently. We're learning more all the time.
And most of it is gross.
Redditor BathNo7713 wanted to discuss the ick factor of anatomy. So they asked:
"What is the most disturbing fact about the human body?"
The body freaks me out. But it's all I've got. So teach me some things.
Minutes...
"The fastest killing virus takes around 4 days to kill you. That would be Ebola. Your immune system can kill you in 15 minutes."
will477
'locked-in'
"If your brainstem (the part of the brain that mediates most motor control for all of the body) is damaged, you can get 'locked-in' syndrome. That means you're fully conscious and aware of your surroundings but unable to move or speak. The only muscles that remain unaffected in most people are the muscles that move they eyes and the eyelids."
"You're essentially trapped within your own body with your only way of communication being blinking or moving your eyes It can be caused by toxins, blockage of the basilar artery which is the main artery of the brainstem, or other brainstem damage."
4oodler
Explosions
"Some people suffer from Exploding Head Syndrome, which causes them to hear a loud bang when they wake up."
ToraMix19
"When I was younger I believe I experienced this a few times. Sounds I heard were: about a million people talking and laughing all at once, a train that irl would've been about a foot away from me based on the volume of the sound, and a door slamming loudly."
aliaisacreature
Pain
"Not sure if this is by design, but I totaled my car once, almost completely uninjured somehow. Then I looked down to my right hand which I remember jabbing into my dashboard at 55mph. Luckily (unluckily?) only my pinky took the blow. But instead of a floppy-udder full of bone-sand, my pinky was 0.5 inches long."
"Broke no bones, but instead perfectly stacked my phalanges, or finger bones, INTO my hand. This is fixed by a muscular Russian murse grabbing your pinky with both hands and pulling very hard. God I wish they gave me more lidocaine."
TelevisionOlympics
Functions
"If you have a surgery where they need to move your organs around they might not function for a day as the body assumes that they are dead."
tonythebutcher13
Move things around? You mean that's not fake when it happens on "Grey's Anatomy?"
"The only reason you are not aware of it is because the ambient noise kind of drowns it out because your ears focus on it. If you go to one of those super-silent rooms that absorb all sorts of sounds, it is a really weird way to reacquaint yourself with your body."
Black_Handkerchief
The Mouth
"Idk about the most disturbing but how bad human teeth are. We’d think it’s our sugary and processed diets these days that cause it, but even Otzi the iceman discovered in Italy was found to have terrible teeth, mouth diseases and cavities. It’s odd that even with the most basic of diets our teeth are so bad."
Dorianisconfused
In the bowels...
"I noticed this after my abdominal surgery. When I turned over in bed my guts seemed to fall from one side to the other. Mentioned to my doc and she confirmed it was my bowels rearranging themselves."
squatter_
"Apparently the doctor just throws your intestines back in there higgeldy-piggeldy because there isn't a correct way to pack them neatly."
LostDesigner9
A Quick Burst
"There are a vast number of ways that your body can malfunction and kill you with little or no warning. An aneurysm can go undetected until it bursts and kills you. Getting hit in the chest just the right way can stop your heart. You can encounter an allergen that never previously provoked an immune response that freaks out your body so badly that you die. You literally just never know if your body will just... die."
Unsolicited_Spiders
The body is such a conundrum. Sexy and gross all at once.
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Being overweight comes with numerous challenges.
And not only challenge's to one's health.
Unfortunately, overweight people are far too often a target for judgment and ridicule, often owing to misconceptions.
Even worse, sometimes simply being bigger than other people leads others to assume that they must also be less than or inadequate in general.
Redditor Rude_Guarantee_1479 was curious to hear what people felt is the worst part, or most common misconception about being overweight, leading them to ask:
"What is the worst part about being a fat person?"
Since I'm fat, I must also be stupid.
"For some reason people always assumed I was simple minded/stupid when I was obese."
"Now that I've lost weight people just talk to me like I'm a regular person."- batyablueberry.
No comfort to be had.
"Feeling uncomfortable all the time."- Keithninety.
Not being seen and always being noticed.
"I have a fear that nobody is ever going to fall in love with me because I don't feel visible and I am fat
Also, going to the pool or beach and you have to put on a swimsuit. I feel like a seal stranded on the beach.- mango_0111.
Inadequate clothes.
"My belt trying to stab me in my belly when I sit down."- jimjohn2017.
"Nothing seems to fit nicely or still look nice in your size."- OutlandishnessNo1950.
"The amount of pants you go through."- Cmonredditalready.
"Putting on a shirt, walking into the backroom, seeing how it makes me look, and then never pulling out my favorite shirt ever again."- YeaItsaThrowaway112.
Never feeling good about yourself.
"Feeling guilty while eating your favorite foods, not looking good in photos/clothes."- pissed_at_everything.
Mobility challenges.
"My thighs rubbing and chaffing."
"I'm so raw right now."- HeavyBreathin.
Unwanted nicknames.
"Not the worst part, but the most constantly sh*tty part is constantly being called 'big guy' by every kind of person other than other 'big guys'."- Professor-ish.
As the old saying goes, true beauty comes from within.
And the way someone looks should never be one's first impression.
Nor does anyone need to go through the day facing unwanted judgment when simply walking down the street.
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