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Incredibly Satisfying Revenge Stories

Incredibly Satisfying Revenge Stories

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The Wittiest Things People Have Ever Heard Someone Say

People With Disabilities Reveal The Ways They Mess With Society

People With Disabilities Reveal The Ways They Mess With Society
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Having a disability can be empowering, especially once you learn how to screw with able-bodied people. Of course, some disabilities are invisible - so don't judge.

Midolesi asked disabled people of Reddit: What's something you do on purpose to mess with people?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.

15. AWESOME.

I have a friend whose mom has a plate in her head from a tumor she had when my friend was young. She used to sneeze at parties and drop a handful of tiny screws.

MynameisPOG

Something something she had a couple screws loose lol.

GreenTeaDinosaur

14. Quit pulling our legs.

I used to take my prosthetic leg off, turn it around and wear it backwards in school to get out of lessons with a substitute teacher. They'd always look horrified when I said that I'd "sprained my ankle" though.

The teachers caught on quickly enough once they mentioned it to other staff members though lol.

Studio-19

You should do a prank with some friend, play fight. Make sure the substitute sees him twist your leg around, and when he comes to break you up, just discretely put your leg into position and walk. Your friend could also say something like "oh just walk it off!"

Jourei

I'm 27 and work as a web developer now. Unfortunately, I've got to be a little more professional; and nobody would buy it in my office lol.

Studio-19

13. I bet it never gets old.

One of my moms best friends has one arm and uses a prosthetic arm. She likes to unlatch it at bars and then shake hands with men and then they pull off her arm. My mom and her friends greatly enjoy this prank.

kittenkin

This is a nice arm, I gotta hand it to ya.

Water_Glass_

12. Show 'em.

I'm a wheelchair user but not a paraplegic. I also have restless leg syndrome (unrelated). People mention my leg moving in relation to my wheelchair a lot, like a "you can move your legs, so obviously you can walk." I put away my glasses, stand up, take a few steps and fall hard.

Here_I_Pondered

A lot of people don't realize that someone can be in a wheelchair for a variety of reasons. I've met people who could walk fine but still needed a wheelchair because they had a heart condition that caused them to pass out randomly.

Swordfish08

11. Meat.

My friend's father lost his leg just below the hip in a motorcycle accident and always wears a prosthetic; if you didn't know better, you'd think he just has a limp. Occasionally during Halloween he'll participate in the neighborhood haunted house. There was one year that he stuffed ground beef between his stump and the prosthetic and then shackled his prosthetic to the wall. When some kids wandered into his room of the haunted house he chopped through the ground beef with an axe and hopped toward them on one leg. They wet themselves.

TheGrapeBambeano

That reminds me of a story I was told by a re-enactor. Someone he knew lost a leg to a misfiring cannon. They have a realistic prosthetic most of the time, now.

So they would arrange to be carried off the battliefield screaming and with their fake leg covered in fake blood, past the watching crowd and into the medical tent. Then the physician would drop the flaps on the tend and saw through a piece of wood while the guy screamed some more. Then they would open the tent and chuck the blood covered fake leg into a bucket, and the guy would hop out on a peg leg! Apparently people in the audience would faint!

ReCursing

10. Curb your expectations.

Yaaay I finally get to tell this story: not really something I've done multuple times but it still fits here.

I have Cerebral palsy which most noticably affects lower limb function as well as upper limb fuction in a less visible manner. I can still walk short distances with crutches or a walker, but need to be pushed in a wheelchair for anything longer then say 25 meters?.

In any case, a friend and I had been hanging around downtown with me in a wheelchair, having my crutches with me out of habit. When we were just about home I asked if he minded letting me walk for a bit, so I got out and toddled on with my crutches. Not having anything better to do with the wheelchair my friend decides to get in and try some wheelies or whatever.

I don't mind so of we went. For whatever reason we decide to cross the street. I struggle a bit but manage eventually. My able-bodied friend however, did not. In trying to get off the sidewalk, he keels over (presumably spectacularly as my back was turned and I didn't get to see this part, but he landed like a meter away from the wheelchair). Some people who had just come around the corner however did see the whole thing and rushed toward him to help. They had almost reached my friend when he simply (but swiftly) got up on is feet, and started pushing what those people presumed was his own wheelchair, making his way toward me as nonchalantly as he could muster. Needless to say that was not something you'd expect to happen, and this surprise was plain to see on their face

I still remember the look, as I could barely hold in my laughter.

WheelsyGamer

9. I wanna go.

In the town of Pushkar, India there's a teashop off the street coming from the train station. When young tourists walk by with their backpacks, the tea seller comes lurching out of the shadows like f*cking Quasimodo growling, "Chai, chai, chai!" with one eye screwed up, terrifying them. If you go into his shop, though, suddenly he's acting normal - he has a deformity in one leg that gives him a limp, which he massively exaggerates for effect. Once you're in on the joke, it's fun to drink tea there and wait/hope for him to scare more backpackers.

jesteryte

8. Didn't see it coming eh? Also, these are a thing.

I had a blind guy come into the movie theatre and ask for the closed caption glasses. I got them out and handed them to him before I realized he was messing with me.

Byizo

I had no idea these were a thing either. " Sony Entertainment Access Glasses are sort of like 3-D glasses, but for captioning. The captions are projected onto the glasses and appear to float about 10 feet in front of the user. They also come with audio tracks that describe the action on the screen for blind people, or they can boost the audio levels of the movie for those who are hard of hearing. "

fparrzy182

8. Must be immensely satisfying.

I'm hard of hearing (deaf through my left ear), and whenever I meet new people or when I'm new somewhere like school, I don't immediately inform people about my hearing. Then, when they start talking to me or asking questions and I don't hear them, they often get upset/mad and say "What are you? Deaf?" And then I answer "Yes."
You should see their faces once they realize I'm not joking.

MadSmylex

7. Scars tell stories.

I have what they call an "invisible disability" (it's not visually obvious right away.) I've had a lot of surgeries to correct various things wrong with my body, though, and I sometimes worry what people will say when I'm at the beach or the pool.

Usually some little kid will ask me or point me out to their parents, and I try to come up with an excellent reason for the scars. A bear attack, a shark attack, a llama attack (that got some laughs), fighting off 27 knife-wielding criminals, etc.

thefirststoryteller

Same. I have a lotta surgical scars on my lower back/upper ass and a few of the scars poke up above my waist line. So when someone asks about the scars I like to tell them "They gave me a new butt because the one I had a crack in it." Never fails to get a few laughs.

kazu-sama

6. Hero powers.

I have a hearing disability, and I'm a middle school teacher. A lot of my students don't understand that "hearing disability" does not mean the same thing as "zero sound 100% completely stone deaf."

That means that occasionally, students will talk in my classroom about things they wouldn't tell a teacher. Then I can quietly take action on the things I hear, when it's needed. HOW did the assistant principal find out who took that embarrassing video of one girl and started passing it around the school? WHY did the bully's schedule get changed so she's no longer in the same class as her victim?

Magic, that's how, kids. MAGIC.

Digger-of-Tunnels

The hero we need.

Basith_Shinrah

Thank you for making your disability to your super hero power! I know that the bully victims definitely appreciate it!

Cizzubelle

5. Perfect.

Oh man my go to story for this is the first week of Infinity Wars in theaters.

So I have cystic fibrosis, long story short ended up with a port in my chest. It's a device used to deliver medicine, and it leaves a pretty sizeable bump there.

Okay so throughout the movie these two absolute jackholes just keep blabbing, won't shut up after multiple times asking. Probably should have gotten the concierge to kick them out now that I think about it, but hindsight is 20/20. So after the movie ends and everyone is walking out I walked up behind them and coughed really loud on them. They turned to me, I apologized and said "oh my God I'm so sorry. Make you sure you go sanitize right away." I pull down my shirt revealing the bump. "Technically I shouldn't even be out if the hospital, they still don't know what this is."

Brushed past them and left, so I have no idea how they reacted but I like to think I gave em a scare.

JarlMTG

4. The best lessons need only be taught once.

Favorite story about my s.o.b. uncle: He lost his leg above his knee years and years ago. Nowadays, the prosthetics are a bit more comfortable, and can use suction to stay in place - long time ago though, he'd have to wear a special belt, and buckle his prosthetic to it. It was really uncomfortable. If he knew he was going to be sitting for a while, he'd unbuckle his leg to relieve some of the pressure. He'd usually sit on the outside of the table/booth when going out, to stretch it out a bit.

He and my aunt were eating dinner at a diner in their small town, and there was an unruly small child running amok. Kid was running around, getting into things he shouldn't etc, and nobody did anything because: small town diner. My uncle was getting irritated. So, from his spot on the outside of the booth, he stretches his leg a little further than normal, and sure enough the kid takes the bait. He comes over and kicks my uncle's leg... Which flops like 90 degrees to the side, amid my uncle's (fake) screams of pain.

Kid didn't bother anyone else that night.

sagekitsune

3. Might as well.

I am pretty much legally blind in one eye and vision is going in the other, my glasses help a bit but not much. I always have people ask me how many fingers I'm holding up and I always say "I don't know, 23?" because I'm just tired of hearing people ask.

KOI-N

You should flip them off and say "how many fingers am I holding up"

Panzercats

2. Super humor.

When I was in college, I shared a few classes with a guy who was severely disabled. I don't remember what the nature of his disability was exactly, but he was confined to a wheelchair with very limited use of his body and had a caretaker who took notes for him. His outward appearance was no indication of his intelligence, wit, and humor though. The guy was sharp as a tack and funnier than hell. We became great buds that semester. Anyway, in one class we had a very old school professor that ran the class like an angry Catholic nun. In addition to this, the professor constantly treated my buddy as if he was mentally disabled just because he was in a wheelchair. But rather than taking direct offense to the professor's condescending attitude, my buddy saw it as an opportunity to flip the script and just played into it by randomly yelling out, "TIMMAY!!!" every 15 minutes or so. All. Semester. Long. It never didn't get a laugh, and the professor would be seething by the end of every class session with zero recourse.

NorCalShasta

Partied with a similar dude- a college grad but wheelchair bound because of childhood injury who had some vocalizations. But he could communicate better with a text to speech computer that looked like a keyboard (just before smart phone/tablet era). Dude would get hammered drunk (sipping drink via a straw) and then start screwing up his keyboard input so the computer voice would mess up. Imagine a computer voice like from Stephen Hawking but gone drunk and wonky. He was a hoot.

econobiker

1. We are what we are.

A paraplegic friend of mine always makes purposefully awkward handicapped jokes. It would work better if he didn't do it in a discord chat with new people, but the reactions he gets are pretty funny anyway.

JustBuckingham

I'm nearly legally blind/deaf and I do the same. It's always enjoyable to see people's reactions and then get the usual questions. Glad to know someone else does it as well!

Blindguypcs4

Have you ever been disabled?

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disabilities

Jobs That Seem Easy But Are Actually Incredibly Challenging

Reddit user CeleryLover4U asked: 'What's a job or profession that seems easy, but is incredibly challenging?'

Woman stressed at work
Photo by JESHOOTS.COM on Unsplash

When we hear about other people's jobs, we've surely all done that thing where we make assumptions about the work they do and maybe even judge them for having such an easy or unimportant job.

But some jobs are much harder than they look.

Redditor CeleryLover4U asked:

"What's a job or profession that seems easy but is incredibly challenging?"

Customer Service

"Anything customer-facing. The public is dumb and horrendous."

- gwarrior5

"My go-to explanation is, 'Anyone can do it, but few can do it for long.'"

- Conscious_Camel4830

"The further I get in my corporate career, the less I believe I will ever again be capable of working a public-facing job. I don’t know how I did it in the past. I couldn’t handle it in the present."

"I know people are only getting worse about how they treat workers. It is disturbing, embarrassing, and draining for everyone."

- First-Combination-12

High Stakes

"A pharmacist."

"You face the public. Your mistake can literally kill someone."

- VaeSapiens

"Yes, Pharmacist. So many people think their job is essentially the same as any other kind of retail worker and they just prepare prescriptions written by a doctor without having to know anything about them."

"They are very highly trained in, well, pharmacology; and it's not uncommon for a pharmacist to notice things like potentially dangerous drug interactions that the doctor hadn't."

- Worth_University_884

Teaching Woes

"Two nuggets of wisdom from my mentor teacher when I was younger:"

"'Teaching is the easiest job to do poorly and the hardest job to do well,' and 'You get to choose two of the following three: Friends, family, or being a good teacher. You don't have enough time to do all three.'"

"We all know colleagues or remember teachers who were lazy and chose the easy route, but any teacher who is trying to be a good teacher has probably sacrificed their friends and their sleep for little pay and a stressful work environment. There's a reason something like half quit the profession within the first five years."

- bq87

Creativity Is "Easy"

"Some creative professions, such as designers, are often perceived as 'easy' due to their creative nature. However, they may face the constant need to find inspiration, deal with criticism, and meet deadlines."

- rubberduckyis

"EVERYBODY thinks they are a designer, up until the point of having to do the work. But come critique time, mysteriously, EVERYBODY IS A F**KING DESIGNER AGAIN."

"The most important skill to have as a designer is THICK SKIN."

- whitepepper

Care Fatigue Is Real

"Care work."

"I wish it could be taken for granted that no one thinks it's easy. But unfortunately, many people still see it as an unskilled job and have no idea of the many emotional complexities, or of how much empathy, all the time, is needed to form the sorts of relationships with service users that they really need."

- MangoMatiLemonMelon

Physical Labor Generally Wins

"I’m going to say most types of unskilled labor and that’s because there’s such little (visible) reward and such a huge amount of bulls**t. I’ve done customer service, barista, sales, serving, etc; and it was all much harder than my cushy desk job that actually can be considered life or death."

- anachronistika

Their Memory Banks Must Be Wild

"I don't know if I'd call it incredibly challenging, but being one of those old school taxi drivers who know the city like the back of his hand and can literally just drive wherever being told nothing but an address is pretty impressively skilled."

"Not sure if it's still like this, but British cabbies used to be legendary for this. I'm 40 and I don't think most young people appreciate how much the quality of cab service has gone down since the advent of things like Uber."

"Nowadays it's just kind of expected that a rideshare/cab driver doesn't know exactly where you're trying to get and has to rely on GPS directions that they often f up. Back when I was in college, cabbies were complete experts on their city."

"More even than knowing how to get somewhere, they could also give you advice. You could just generally describe a type of bar/club/business you're looking for, and they'll take you right to one that was spot on. Especially in really big cities like NYC."

- Yak-Mak-5000

Professional Cooking

"Being a chef."

- Canadian_bro7

"I would love to meet the person who thinks being a chef is easy! I cook my own food and it’s not only OK to eat but I make a batch of it so I have some for later. So, to make food that is above good and portion it correctly many times a day and do it consistently with minimal wastage (so they make a profit), strikes me as extremely difficult."

- ChuckDeBongo

Team Leading, Oof

"Anything that involves a lot of people skills and socializing. I thought these positions were just the bulls**t of sitting in meetings all day and not a lot of work happening but having to be the one leading those meetings and doing public speaking is taxing in a way I didn’t realize."

- Counterboudd

Not a Pet Sitter At All

"Veterinary Technician."

"Do the job of an RN, anesthesiology tech, dental hygienist, radiology tech, phlebotomist, lab tech, and CNA, but probably don’t make a living wage and have people undervalue your career because you 'play with puppies and kittens all day.'"

- forthegoddessathena

Harder Than It Looks!

"Sometimes, when my brain is fried from thinking and my ego is shot from not fixing the problem, I want to be a garbage man... not a ton of thinking, just put the trash in the truck, and a lot of them have trucks that do it for you!"

"But if the robot either doesn't work or you don't have one on your truck, it smells really bad, the pay isn't what it used to be, you might find a dead body and certainly find dead animal carcasses... and people are id**ts, overfilling their bags, just to have them fall apart before you get to the truck, not putting their trash out and then blaming you, making you come back out."

"Your body probably is sore every day, and you have to take two baths before you can kiss your wife..."

"Ehh, maybe things are not so bad where I am."

- Joebroni1414

Twiddling Thumbs and Listening

"Therapist here. I’ve always said that it’s pretty easy to be an okay therapist—as in, it’s not that hard to listen to people’s problems and say, 'Oh wow, that’s so hard, poor you.'"

"But to be a good therapist? To know when your client is getting stuck in the same patterns, or to notice what your client isn’t saying? To realize that they’re only ever saying how amazing their spouse is, and to think, 'Hmm, nobody’s marriage is perfect, something’s going on there'?"

"To be able to ask questions like, 'Hey, we’ve been talking a lot about your job, but what’s going on with your family?' And then to be able to call them on their s**t, but with kindness and empathy? Balancing that s**t is hard."

"Anybody can have empathy, but knowing when to use empathy and when and how to challenge someone is so much harder. And that’s only one dimension of what makes being a therapist challenging."

- mylovelanguageiswine

Constant Updates

​"For the most part, my job is really easy (marketing tech). But having to constantly stay on top of new platforms, new tech, updates, etc etc is exhausting and overwhelming and I really hate it."

"Also, the constant responsibility to locate and execute opportunities to optimize things and increase value for higher-ups. Nobody in corporate roles can ever just reach a point of being 'good enough.' More and better is always required."

"Just some of the big reasons I’m considering a career change."

- GlizzyMcGuire_

Performing Is Not Easy

"Performing arts and other types of art. People think it’s a cakewalk or 'not a real job,' not realizing the literal lifetime of training, rejection, and perseverance that it takes to reach a professional level and how insanely competitive those spaces are."

- ThrowRA1r3a5

All About Perception

"I suspect everything fits this. Consider that someone whose job is stacking boxes in a warehouse has to know how to lift boxes, how many can be stacked, know if certain ones must be easily accessible, know how to use any equipment that is used to move boxes around."

"Not to mention if some have hazardous or fragile materials inside, if some HAVE to be stacked on the bottom, if a mistake is made and all the boxes have to be restacked, etc."

"But everyone else is like, 'They're just stacking boxes.'"

- DrHugh

It's easy to make assumptions about someone else's work and responsibilities when we haven't lived with performing those tasks ourselves.

This gave us some things to think about, and it certainly reminded us that nothing good comes of making assumptions, especially when it minimizes someone else's experiences.

job description

Things Left-Handed People Deal With That Right-Handed People Never Do

Left-handed person holding a Sharpie
Kelly Sikkema/Unsplash

Many of us who are right-handed never even think about how the world is designed to cater to us.

It probably doesn't even cross your mind that 10% of the world's population is left-handed.

Because of this, there tends to be a stigma for being left-handed since society tends to associate the left with negative things.

For example, the phrase "two left feet" applies to those who are clumsy and therefore, incapable of dancing.

Curious to hear more about the challenges facing those with the other dominant hand, Redditor johnnyportillo95 asked:

"What’s something left-handed people have to deal with that right-handed people wouldn’t even think about?"

If only manufacturers appealed to an ambidextrous world.

Furniture Obstacle

"Those desks or couch chairs that have a small desk attached. They do make left handed/sided ones but they are few and far between."

– Prussian__Princess

"And they’re only on one side of the lecture hall, and it’s never a good seat. There is ONE front row, lefty desk in the entire room and it’s in the far corner, obscured by an ancient overhead projector."

– earwighoney

Everyday Objects For Everyday People

"as a left-handed person myself, one thing we often deal with is finding left-handed tools or equipment. many everyday objects, like scissors or can openers, are designed with right-handed people in mind, which can make certain tasks a bit more challenging for us lefties. we also have to adapt to a right-handed world when it comes to writing on whiteboards or using certain computer mice."

– J0rdan_24

Dangerous Tools

"The biggest risk is power tools. I taught myself to use all power tools right handed because of risks using them left handed."

"Trivial, I love dry boards but they are super hard to write on."

– diegojones4

It's hard to play when you're born with a physical disadvantage.

Sports Disadvantage

"Allright, Sports when you are young. Every demonstration from PE teachers are right handed. You cant just copy the movements they teach you you need to flip them and your tiny brain struggoes to process it. As well, 98% of the cheap sports equipment the school uses is right handed."

– AjCheeze

No Future In Softball

"I tried to bat right handed for so long in gym class growing up because the gym teacher never asked me what my dominant side was and the thought never occurred to me as a child to mention it! Needless to say I never became a softball star."

– Leftover-Cheese

Find A Glove That Fits

"In softball and baseball we need a specific glove for our right hand that's often impossible to find unless you own one, and we have to bat on the other side of the plate."

– BowlerSea1569

"I was one of two left-handers in a 4-team Little League in the 1980s. Nobody could pitch to me. I got a lot of "hit by pitch" walks out of it."

– Jef_Wheaton

These examples are understandably annoying.

Shocking Observation

"Having right handed people make comments whenever they see us write, like we’re some kind of alien."

– UsefulIdiot85

"'Woah! You're left-handed????'"

"I find myself noticing when someone is a lefty, and sometimes I comment on it, but I try not to. I'm primarily left-handed (im a right handed wroter but do everything else left), and every single time I go to eat with my family, someone says, "Oh hey, give SilverGladiolus22 the left hand spot, they're left-handed," and inevitably someone says, 'Wait, really?' Lol."

– SilverGladiolus22

Can't Admire The Mug

"We never get to look at the cute graphics on coffee mugs while we’re drinking from them."

– vanetti

"I just realized…I always thought the graphics were made so someone else could read them while you drink. Hmmm."

– Bubbly-Anteater7345

"I'm right-handed and I often wondered why the graphics were turned towards the drinker instead of out for others to see."

– Material-Imagination

The Writing On The Wall

"Writing on whiteboards is a nightmare. I have to float my hand, which tires out my arm quickly, and I can't see what I've already written to keep the line straight."

– darkjedi39

"Also as a teacher, it means I'm standing to the left of where I'm writing, so I'm blocking everything I write. I have to frequently finish writing, then step out of the way so people can see, instead of just being able to stand on the right side the whole time."

– dancingbanana123

Immeasurable

"Rulers."

"How the f'k is no one talking about rulers? It's from 30cm to 0 cm to me, or I have to twist my arms to know the measure I want to trace over it."

– fourangers

Just Can't Win

"EVERYTHING. The world has always been based around people being right handed. As a Chef, my knife skills SUCKED until I worked with a Left Handed Chef. Then it all made sense."

"Literally, everything we do must be observed, then flipped around in our heads, then executed. This is why Lefties die sooner, on average, than Righties."

"I had to learn how to be ambidextrous, just to complete basic tasks (sports, driving a manual, using scissors, etc). I am used to it now, and do many things right handed out of necessity, as wall as parents and teachers 'forcing' it upon me."

"But, at least we are not put to death anymore, simply for using the wrong hand (look it up, it happened)."

"Ole Righty, always keeping us down."

– igenus44

The world doesn't need another demographic to feel "othered" for being different.

But if you're right-handed and tend to make assumptions about left-handed people, you may want to observe the following.

Ronald Yeo, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of Texas-Austin told CNN:

"We shouldn’t assume much about people’s personalities or health just because of the hand they write with."
"And we certainly shouldn’t worry about lefties’ chances of success: After all (as of 2015), five of our last seven U.S. presidents have been either left- or mixed-handed."

Word.

left handed

People Reveal Whether They Let Their Dog Sleep On Their Bed Or Not

Dog lying down on a bed
Photo by Conner Baker on Unsplash

Not all pet owners have the same relationship with their pets.

While anyone who decides to become a pet owner, or pet parent as some say, love their pets equally, some never ever let them leave their side.

Taking their pet with them to work, running errands, even on vacations.

Many pet parents even allow their pets to share their bed with them when going to sleep.

For others though, this is where a line is finally drawn.

Redditor Piggythelavasurfer was curious to hear whether pet owners allowed their pets to share their bed with them, as well as the reasons why they do/don't, leading them to ask:

"Do you let your pet sleep in your bed? Why/why not?"

The Tiny Issue Of Water...

"Absolutely not."

"I have fish."- Senior-Meal3649

Everyone Gets Lonely Eventually...

"I adopted an eleven year old cat the day before Halloween."

"She has mostly lived in my closet since I got her, and she hasn’t been too interested in coming out."

"Last night, she came out of my closet and jumped up on my bed, and crawled under my covers and curled up by my feet to sleep."

"I was so happy!"- YellowBeastJeep

The Comforting Reminder That You're Not Alone...

"I recently lost my Greyhound but I used to let him sleep on my bed with me."

"The company was nice and he was no trouble to have on my bed."- HoodedMenace3

Hungry Cookie GIF by De Graafschap Dierenartsen Giphy

What Do You Mean Allow?

"I have no choice."

"She is a cat, cats do whatever they want."- Small_cat1412

"He lets me sleep in my bed."- Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way

"I carry my old boy upstairs to bed every night."- worst_in_show

Hug GIF by The BarkPost Giphy

Who Needs An Alarm Clock?

"I let my two cats sleep with me."

"They're so full of love and just want cuddles all the time."

"And so do I."

"We've all developed a lil routine."

"Get to bed, oldest sleeps on my feet to keep them warm, youngest lies in my arm while I lie on my side (she the little spoon), then when I snooze my alarm for work in the morning the youngest paws at my face and meeps loudly to wake me up."- GhostofaFlea_

Whose Bed Is It Anyway?

"Yes."

"They're also kind enough to let me squeeze into whatever space they've left for me."

"Although I do get a few dirty looks off them."- Therealkaylor

"I found this tiny kitten screaming her head off under a car."

"Would not come out."

"Got some food and some water in dishes."

"I stood by the tire so she couldn't see my feet."

"She got curious about the food and water and started gobbling it down."

"I thought she would bolt when I squatted down."

"She was too busy eating."

"I grabbed her by the nape of the neck and all four legs went straight out and she tried to scratch me to death."

"I got her in the door and tossed her toward the couch."

"She ricocheted off the couch as if she was a ping pong off a table and I lost sight of her."

"I put out food and water and a sandbox and did not see that kitten for three days."

"On the third day, I came home and she was on my bed pillow."

"I thought she would bolt when I came near, but she didn't."

"I wanted to sleep so I tried to scoot her little butt off my pillow."

"She would not go."

"I put my head down to sleep and that is the way it was from then on."

"She ran the roost."- Logical_Cherry_7588

sleepy kitten GIF Giphy

Sleeping Is A Prerequisite...

"No, he's a cat and he cannot keep still during the night."

"He walks across the headboard, opens the closet doors, jumps into the windows and rustles the blinds, etc."

"If he would sleep he could stay, but alas, he's a ramblin' man."- Spong_Durnflungle

Saying No Just Isn't An Option...

"'Let'."

"Lol."

"It's a cat's world and I'm happy to be on her good side."- milaren

Felines Only!

"The cat does, the dog doesn't and the horse certainly does not either."- Xcrowzz

Angry Tom And Jerry GIF by Boomerang Official Giphy

Is That My Hair On That Pillow?

"My dog is perfect."

"She comes up, cuddles til we start to fall asleep, then gets down to sleep on her bed so she doesn't get too hot."

"Jumps back up in the early morning for wake up cuddles."

"The hair everywhere is the only downside but she is so cozy, what can you do."- HoodieWinchester

It is easy to understand how some people are able to fall asleep more easily knowing their friend and protector is there, in bed, with them.

Though we can't blame others who don't want to run the risk of being scratched or bitten in the middle of the night either...


pets

Old Wives' Tales People Still Believe For Some Reason

Close up of an owl tilting their head to side, looking bewildered
Photo by Josh Mills

The old wives' tales.

They are the stories of legend.

I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.

Where did they originate?

WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!

You don't hear about them as much anymore.

It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.

But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.

Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:

"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"

"Wait an hour to swim after eating."

What a crock!

So many summer hours wasted.

I want revenge for that one.

Say Nothing

Giphy

"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."

LonelyMail5115

"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."

I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA

Say Something

"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."

Severe_Airport1426

"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."

crappycurtains

"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."

AlbinoShavedGorilla

Body Temps

"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."

chriseo22

"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."

"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."

apocalypticradish

Arms Down

"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."

Fatmouse84

10 Years Actually

Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine Giphy

"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."

REDDIT

"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."

Gecko-911

I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.

This tale is haunting.

High/Low

Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace Giphy

"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."

LeastFormal9366

"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."

IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI

The Cursed

"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."

"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."

SmoreOfBabylon

Stay In

"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."

"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."

worldbound0514

Dreams and Facts

"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."

"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."

mattshonestreddit

"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."

Darthdemented

Cracked

Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office Giphy

"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."

Choice-Grapefruit-44

"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."

MacyTmcterry

I love my knuckles.

Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.

old wives tales