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People Share Their Craziest 'Oh F***, I'm Gonna Die' Experiences

People Share Their Craziest 'Oh F***, I'm Gonna Die' Experiences
Photo by Anne Nygård on Unsplash

Some of us have experienced near-death experiences that haunt us to this day.

The moment I thought, "this is how I'm gonna go," was when I got "certified" for scuba-diving in Cozumel, Mexico, and went underwater following a guide.

He took a small group of us through a TUNNEL. On our first-ever scuba-diving excursion. I was not informed about how we can adjust our buoyancy and I was starting to panic about why my body was dragging along the ocean floor.

I remember forcing myself to swim up higher – while inside the dark tunnel – and I bashed my head on the cave's ceiling so hard I blacked out for a second.

Curious to hear about near-death experiences Redditor spider_takerr asked strangers on the internet:

"What was your 'oh f'k, I'm gonna die' moment?"

Scenes From A Hospital

The institution meant to save lives can also be a grim place.

What The Nurse Missed

"My mom gave birth to me at a teaching hospital and one of the new nurses didn't catch that I was positioned incorrectly. Doctor didn't notice until it was too late and my mom had to have an emergency c section that almost killed us. She says the doctor chewed the absolute hell out of that nurse."'


Giving Life

"When my daughter was born, I had a caesarean and lost too much blood. I got cold and really tired and the people around me suddenly got busy and kept saying 'stay awake, stay awake', I heard my daughter cry and they held her up and I thought since she's been born safe and while it was ok for me to let go. I wasn't frightened, just so so tired."


The Last Breath

"I can't breathe through my nose due to a birth defect. I had surgery and it was at a teaching hospital. The doctor messed up and tried to run tubes up my nose, causing everything to swell and cutting off what little breathing I can do through my nose. Then they ran the tube down my throat, when all was done my jaw was wired shut. My throat swelled. I woke up trying to breathe and not being able to get much breath, I panicked and passed out. I remember thinking this is how I die. I woke up to my main doctor unwiring my jaw and cussing out the trainee doctor."


En Route To The Hospital

"When the ambulance attendant yelled to the driver to hit the lights & sirens 'her heart rate's dropping, we're losing her.'"



Nature can be cruel at times. Or just horrible at pranking.

Scary Wipeout

"Was surfing on a day I shouldn't have gone out and got pummeled by some heavy waves. Became disoriented underwater and couldn't tell which way was up. Getting dragged by my board when I felt like I was starting to black out and felt like I was pretty close to reflexively gasping for air, which would have been bad to do underwater. I don't even remember how I reached the surface and I don't really even remember taking a big dramatic breath like you'd see in a movie...I just remember my vision and hearing coming back while I was laying on my board, and then looking around for the next set of waves to see if I could reach the shore. Fortunately I had been pulled closer in by the prior wave(s) and was able to lay on my board and get back safely."


Wind In My Sails

"Walking home from school carrying an art portfolio case -- basically a 2.5-foot by 4-foot by 1-inch briefcase. In other words, a hand-held sail."

"Strong wind gusts. Crossing a busy highway on an overpass."

"A very strong gust hit me straight from the side, and the portfolio caught it like a damn galleon sail. I felt myself nearly lifted off the sidewalk for a split-second, and I was pushed a couple steps towards the safety rail. I wasn't airborne or anything, but I would have tumbled over it if I were just a bit less lucky."


The Hero

"Had two buddies get stuck in a rip tide on a very remote black sand beach on the north part of big island hawaii. One of their girl friends realized they couldn't get back in because one cramped up too badly and ran to get me for help. It was the perfect storm for a few reasons, I was the only guy on the beach besides and grandfather and his two grandchildren, it was about a .5 miles down a cliff with no cell reception, and there was only one house on top the cliff. I ran to the water and when I got to chest level, the water was pulling so hard, the only thought in my mind was 'I'm not getting out of this if I go in' I go in with a foot long floating thing we found on the beach, I tell my one friend to get in of he can and he does. We either drift along the cliff line where there is no beach for miles or we drift out to open ocean.

So I'm out there with a guy who is 5'8, 230lbs, I'm 5'7 at 170 who just had shoulder reconstruction surgery 7 months prior, and he is freaking out, swallowing water from 8-9 foot waves and yelling me to leave him. I remember in the moment when he was yelling at me to 'leave him because he didn't want two of us to die and to just let him' all I could think was 'lie and make him think this is possible' (which I didn't even truly believe). So after him losing grip 3 separate times and the flotation device, I am finally able to get us to shore. Ironically, after being in the current for 50 minutes, a rescue helicopter got there 5 minutes after we got out because one of the guys grandkid ran to the top of the cliff to get a call out."

The sh**tiest part was I was going to propose to my girlfriend on that beach that afternoon, but she instead watched me almost drown trying to get our friend out. It still gets me worked up recalling it because seeing a grown man beg you to let him die so you can live is something you never forget."


Being Cooked Alive

"I work on TV broadcast towers, including some of the tallest structures ever built. I don't even count the hundreds of little things that make your butthole pucker when you're 2,000' up on a tower. The time I actually came closest to dying was several years ago while working alone in a remote area, performing a plumb and tension on a cell tower. This requires walking to all the anchor points, measuring the tension of the guyed wires, adjusting the wire tensions to the specified ranges while ensuring the tower structure remains plumb (the vertical equivalent of level) by viewing it through a transit. It was July or August 2018 in the US southeast so fairly hot and extremely humid outside. Not wearing a shirt I could see my heart pounding pretty hard in my chest and knew I should rest but I was making good time on the project and decided to press on and go finish the farthest anchor from the tower before resting. A few minutes later I smashed my finger in the tension measuring device and despite having a high pain tolerance it definitely needed some attention. While walking back to the truck I realized I was in trouble- way too hot, and several hundred yards uphill to go."

"My hearing faded out and my vision started tunneling in like it does when you're about to pass out. Had a very clear understanding of what was happening to me, I was having a heat injury and if I passed out before I made it to the truck I could die there. It wasn't a panic but a calm understanding that 'oh, paidtogethigh, your body is shutting down and you may die here today.' Thankfully I managed to reach the truck, blast the air conditioning, and recover. Was a crazy week thinking back on it, 2 or 3 days later my boss sent me to do another job at the CIA headquarters in Langley without sending the CIA my info so when I showed up at the gate they were not expecting me and of course wouldn't let me in until everything was in order."


Watch For Falling Objects

"Train derailed bc a boulder fell on the track and the whole first car was hanging down the side of a very steep hill. I was in the fourth car, it was a full 20 minutes before we could get out safely."

"Thankfully only a couple were hospitalized, and only one was seriously injured. But , dude. I'll never forget the sound the breaks on that train made."

"Edited to add bc my phone was dying when I first saw this: specifically, the oh-f'ck-im-gonna-die moment came when the E-break was pulled. I had to catch an early train out of town to get back home after visiting my now-husband at college, and so I was sleeping when I was suddenly woken up with a loud screech and my face hitting the seat in front of me as I fell on to the ground. Looked out the window, saw the first car down the mountain side, and straight panicked."

"It all turned out fine though."


Sand Storm

"While deployed I was crew on a test flight as a sand storm was moving in. The co-pilot was on the sticks, got disoriented and the ground was quickly growing closer. Luckily, the pilot was aware and took control and swiftly brought us out of the dive and into safety well before disaster struck. One of only two times I was scared during my time away."


Alive To Tell The Tale

The following Redditors could have perished at the hands of a sibling, a cab driver in another country, and meatballs.

Fortunately, they're with us to tell their story.

Delicious Disaster

"When I almost choked to death after inhaling too many meatballs without chewing enough"


"Ikea almost claims another victim."


Murder Attempts

"When my sister's friend pushed me off a dock into a deep spot. I was too stunned to realize what happened & started drowning. I'm still not sure what happened after I started sucking down water & flailing... don't remember anything after that point."

"Or even the moment my sister pushed me in front of an oncoming car for stepping on the back of her shoes repeatedly. Had a split second moment where I thought that I might as I was plummeting into the road off the side walk & then saw the car mere centimeters from my face as it screeched to a halt."


Wild Ride

"For some reason I was separated from the group I was traveling with in Mexico, and the cab driver started going in the exact opposite direction of where I told him to go. I was pretty confident of my Spanish language skills at that time, so I repeated the directions again, and he kept going, giving some flimsy, not quite coherent explanation for going the wrong way. At this point, I was terrified, but I got this paradoxical reaction where I sat forward, and very loudly - in English - told him to turn the f*!#ing cab around and go the other way. He didn't say another word, just turned the cab around and went exactly where I told him to."


I count my lucky stars I did not pass out right there underwater inside the cave that day I went scuba-diving.

I managed to make my way out of the tunnel without the useless "guide" and made it to shore and joined my friends.

I was so happy to see them.

A part of me thought at the time I was Sixth-Sense-ing and interpreted my interactions with my friends as a fabrication in my after-life...

...until I tripped over my flipper and I got a mouthful of sand after face-planting on the beach, snapping me back to reality.

The Weirdest Animal Facts People Know

Reddit user FunChemical3182 asked: 'What is the weirdest animal fact you know?'

Michael Jerrard on Unsplash

People accumulate facts throughout life on a wide variety of subjects.

Some are mundane while others are weird, wild or wonderful.

One subject a lot of people focus on is animals. Most people have a favorite animal that fascinates them that they want to know all about.

Keep reading...Show less

Content Warning: Mental Health, Suicide, Domestic Violence

We all know that we technically can't make anyone else do anything, and we certainly can't "fix" other people. Other people will only change or do something if they choose to; the only person we can really control is ourselves.

But some people really love to try, often to hilarious and terrible results.

Already cringing, Redditor Dapper_Algae6280 asked:

"People who entered a relationship thinking 'I can fix them,' how did that go?"

Time for an Upgrade

"There is a weird thing that happens when you 'fix' someone. They tend to think if you liked them broken, then they deserve better than you now that they are better than they were."

- TheRealLifePotato

"As horrible as it sounds, to have a happy, emotionally healthy relationship you need two happy, emotionally healthy people. If you want to be in that sort of relationship, you need to fix yourself first."

- inactiveuser247

"This right here. After three sh*tty relationships in a row, I realized this is a me problem. I took a few years off from dating to reflect and really learn to see red flags and understand myself so I wouldn't make that mistake again."

- MikoSkyns

No More Spark

"My now ex had PTSD, depression, and a variety of other issues she claimed. After two and a half years of dating (being my first and only relationship), she became more social, less suicidal, and overall happier as a person."

"She decided to cheat on me with someone else due to 'lack of communication' and us 'no longer having a spark". The irony."

"For context, we were 17 at the time, in high school, and I worked full-time hours with initiatives to hang out, which were refused. Red flags everywhere."

- elteragxo

"Your situation is eerily similar to mine, what the f**k?"

"I met a girl with mental and emotional issues and decided to fix them through a healthy relationship. She recovered and found someone else because 'the spark was gone.'"

- Aimlessdrifter8778

Misery Loves Company

"Now we are both broken."

- Brave-Butterscotch76

"The same thing happened to my sister-in-law. She married a very negative and miserable guy while saying 'he will get better' or 'we’re working on it,' and now she’s a very negative and miserable person."

- Moreofyoulessofme

Getting to Watch a Partner Grow

"At first we were only f**king. I don't know if I ever thought I could fix her, but I did fall in love with this beautiful lady with severe anxiety, depression, and trust issues after being in a domestically violent relationship."

"We were f**k buddies for about six months and I got a glimpse of her issues but I still went ahead and asked her to be my girlfriend The heart wants what it wants."

"We dated for a year and a half (two years since meeting), and I actually got to see her at her worst a few times, but I was finally able to get her therapy with a great psychiatrist and treatment, this is when I asked her to move in with me. We've been living together for six years."

"Four years ago, she had the worst breakdown I've seen. She went full-on paranoid, wall-scratching nervous, she was even doubting me and my motives to be there. It was a very difficult week, and she left the house and went to her mom's house in the middle of the night."

"Eventually, her therapist was able to get a hold of her and get her back to her senses. Her doctor then suggested that I also should go to a counselor or at the very least we should do couples therapy so we had strong bases for our relationship and we did."

"I now look back and won't change her for anything in the world, she has grown so much, and she glows right now. I now see her smile and it's glorious. She's achieved a great position too and it's amazing just to see how much happier she looks."

- Spiritual-Narwhal666

Not a Match

"I fixed what I wanted to fix, but that still didn't make us right for each other. In the end, I think she's in a much happier place than she could have been, so I think it was worth the time invested."

"We were wrong for each other, but at least we both came out better positioned to receive the happiness that would come to us later."

- MrWeb20

In Their Nature

"A couple of months into the relationship, I fixed him."

"After some irritation, he stopped peeing on the carpet. Now, my cat still brings mice, but I guess, that's just his nature."

- mobileJay77

The Importance of Boundaries

"I don't know if I would say that I 'fixed' her (and I wasn’t trying to), but I definitely taught my last ex the importance of being able to set boundaries and to stop going out of her way to please people who consistently hurt her."

"Eventually this would lead to us breaking up, but I have no regrets. I have issues of my own that were wearing her down and she did what she had to. Same rules apply. We’re both better off because of it."

- TylerTexas10

Happily Ever After

"She fixed herself and I fixed myself with each other's support, and we are living happily ever after, it seems, with ongoing work on ourselves and our relationship."

- DonPronote

An Uncommon Ending

"I didn’t fix them. But I tried my hardest to be patient and supportive while they fixed themself. Sometimes I was better at support than other times. Sometimes they were better at fixing than other times."

"It ended up being worth the patience. Things have been great with us for years now. I know this isn’t the normal outcome though, and I feel incredibly lucky."

- I_Invented_Frysauce

A Little Help from Our Friends

"Usually I'm the one people try to fix.. I think the repeated attempts definitely helped me. Now my current partner gets to enjoy the previous hard work."

"...I think I just got tired of hurting the people who love me and fixed myself, though."

- addrien

All Their Idea

"You can't fix anyone. You can only fix yourself, but if you really want to try and fix someone, you have to make it seem like it's their idea."

- BuhrZap

A Helping Hand

"I don't think you can fix anyone. You can only help them fix themselves, which is very different."

"If someone is actively trying to fix themselves, and you can actually be the person to support them through it, then it can work, but it could also not work."

"I do think there should be a distinction between the two. I mean, trying to fix someone is a bad idea, but if you like someone and are willing to support them in their journey to fix themselves, it's probably not the worst idea in the world."

- brooksie1131

Lesson Learned

"It went so well that they managed to cure me of the desire to 'fix' anybody."

"I’ll toss you a life preserver if you’re trying to save yourself. But I’m not jumping in the water with anyone so they can drown me on their way out."

"People who need to hit rock bottom in order to better themselves will use you to soften their landing if you let them."

- GlobalPermit5428

Best Friends Forever

"It went well but it didn’t work out."

"So we kind of fixed each other we were both at very weird points in our lives and we only dated for about one and a half years. We didn’t need a romantic partner but we did need a friend in each other."

"We’re both in better places now and the best of friends. We both want each other to be part of our lives just not as lovers."

"All and all, I say we got the best outcomes in our lives."


So Worth the Investment

"He was an Uber driver with only a high school diploma."

"I married him anyways and bankrolled his education because he was fun as f**k to be around, was the smartest person I’ve ever met, and loves me like I’m the only woman on Earth."

"Now, he’s a computer engineer and we are landlords together and have bought investment properties. We are very happy together."

"Partners work together to create success. I think selfish people ask, 'what’s in it for me?' Marriage is about selflessness."

"I’m glad I sacrificed for his education. His mind would be wasted otherwise and he’s a genius."

- BabyElephantWalks

In most of these cases, the situation went poorly after a Redditor tried to change someone, and for good reason. If that person isn't ready or doesn't want to be fixed, it's only going to damage the relationship.

There's also something to be said about unconditional love. If you don't want to date the person exactly as who they are right now, why are you even trying to date them?

If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.

To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at

Guy at the gym
Anastase Maragos/Unsplash

Tough guys put on a facade that indicates to others that they always know what's going on.

But their confidence doesn't always match their intellect, which is probably why they cover their insecurities by walking around and trying to show everyone who's really the boss.

If that's the case, they should keep their mouths shut because not everything that comes out of their mouth needs to be heard.

Yet, it can be amusing to everyone else.

Curious to hear examples of these, Redditor PrototypeShadowBlitz asked:

"Reddit, what is the stupidest thing you've heard from the 'alpha male' community?"

You might find these guys at a bar.

The Dude Must Be Hungry

"Had a run in once with a group of young lads about something in a bar and one of them said we are top of the food chain bro and you will be the prey."

– insertitherenow

"'Whatever, mall ninja" -proper response."

– TheEighthLord

If The Shoe Fits

"That they were an alpha male."

– I_Have_A_Name37654

"The use of 'Alpha Male,' unironically is every indication that you're dealing with a child's understanding of manhood."

– 88Dubs

Brat Pack

"Me and my bros are all alpha males."

– SonOfDadOfSam

"I was skiing one time and rode the lift with a guy that said, 'I don't feel no pain. I live with 5 roommates and none of us feel any pain.' Okay, bud. That's a really interesting coincidence."

– NicPizzaLatte

They sure thrive on making sexist comments.

Contagious Femininity

"A coworker said, 'I don't spend too much time with my girlfriend because I'll become too feminine.'"

– Lazy_Natural6154


– aliebabadegrote

Sexist Categorization

"I have been called a beta for saying that my wife makes more money than I do. She works in a more lucrative field and is more educated than I am, so it makes perfect sense that she makes more than I do."

"So I came back, and this post has really blown up. There's just a few things I want to clarify."

"1- I have only ever been called a beta online."

"2- I work full-time in project management. I have a master's degree. I have a 6 figure salary."

"3- My wife has a PhD and works in finance. She also has a 6 figure salary, it's just a higher salary than my own."

"4- I'm sorry to anyone who might feel as though my original post misled them."

– ExaminationDouble240

It's Teamwork

"A real man would be proud of his wife for achieving success, and not fall for that sort of insecure bullsh*t."

"It's not a contest, that's the real joke here. Good on you for seeing the big picture."

– Mrbeardoesthethings

Do these roles about parenting sound familiar?

Childish Things Are Too Girly

"Real men don't take their kids trick or treating is one that I heard recently."

– constructionguy89

"Related. Guys who brag about not changing diapers, not playing 'girly' games, etc. Essentially guys who brag that their only contribution to fatherhood is money and masculine things like fishing or football. Even then some of them brag about not paying a lot of child support to prove they didn't let the system take advantage of them."

"I can't imagine a life so empty my only accomplishment worth bragging about was being a terrible parent."

– Green7000

This Woman's Work

"I was told that taking care of my kids is woman's work. Apparently it's concerning that I try to spend so much of my free time with them. Oddly enough the meatheads at my grappling club think it's sweet I occasionally have my daughters' hair clips on and nails painted."

– MrFunktasticc

People discussed rules in the bedroom.

Never Submissive

"That a man is turned off when their wife/girlfriend seduces them, because if she wants sex and shows it she is a sl*t, also making the man the submissive one…"

– kamalaophelia

Stifling Emotions

"Not the whole community, but was cuddling with a guy once and could tell he was trying not to get emotional over something that was bothering him. He said, quite literally, 'it's not alpha male behaviour.' I told him that I liked that he showed emotions sometimes, and he looked disgusted by the fact that I pointed it out."

– LambLifts

In high school, a classmate who was on the football team said I was a "sissy" for listening to classical music.

The other classmates laughed at me, which was hardly surprising since all of the guys on our unbeatable football team were considered stars on campus.

This kind of mockery was a typical day for me.

I can laugh at their idiotic comments now but back then, I don't know why I ever let them get under my skin.

Man standing behind large flowers
Quinn Buffing on Unsplash

We've all done things, or in some cases, regularly do things that others might consider weird.

Even so, we often feel no shame or embarrassment and embrace how unusual these habits are, and take our friends teasing or laughing at us for doing so in stride.

Sometimes, however, we might not like to advertise some of our unusual habits or actions and make every effort to keep them a well-guarded secret.

As raised eyebrows are much easier to take than blatant judgment from friends and peers.

Redditor Key_Nectarine_1969 was curious to hear all the weird things people have done which they still keep under lock and key, leading them to ask:

"What’s the weirdest thing you’ve done that you could only tell people anonymously?"

The Devil [Dogs] Is In The Detail...

"All throughout middle school, there was someone who tucked unwrapped Hostess Devil Dogs into the toilet paper dispensers in the bathrooms, so that when you pulled some toilet paper out, the devil dog would fall out into your hand."

"We had to have an assembly about it."

"That person... Was me."- bejeweled_sky

Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time

"Was drunk at an escape room with coworkers."

"It was an extreme one where you are handcuffed the entire time."

"I decided in my drunken state that it would be bada** to dislocated my thumb and slip off the cuffs like the movies."

"It wasn't."

"We got kicked out, my coworkers were weirded out and I had to go to the hospital."

"I quit a few weeks later."

"White collar wasn't for me."- Grotesque-penguin

The Bread Of Heaven

"Stole over 1,000 wafers from church because I really liked the communion wafers & didn’t know where else to get them."

"I felt really blessed & cursed for a long time."- hALLIEcinate

catholic the exorcist GIFGiphy

Retracing Steps...

"Once I got off the subway in NYC and I was super early for an appointment."

"So I picked a random guy and just followed him on foot for like 30 minutes, pretending I was like a private detective or something."

"Always kept about a half block behind."

"He turned this way and that, and eventually went into a building I had lived in 9 years earlier."

"It was weird, and so was I."- OKsurewhynotyep

Hygeine Be Damned...

"I found a dead rat in a field when i was younger and kissed it bc I wanted to say goodbye."- qeleia

exercise push up GIFGiphy

Bad Decisions Have A Way Of Getting Back To You...

"We got super drunk and ate a ton of spicy food in New Orleans."

"Back at the B&B, the food started to come out the back side."

"I was sitting on the toilet sh*tting bricks of fire."

"At that moment, the booze decided to hang a u-turn."

"The trash can was out of reach and I couldn't risk standing up from the toilet for even 5 seconds."

"The closest receptacle was the bathtub."

"I managed to turn in such a way that I could keep shi*ting in the toilet while projectile vomiting into the tub."

"Both ended up clogged, and there was no plunger."

"I had to call the owner to explain that I had destroyed both their toilet and their tub simultaneously."- HoopOnPoop

Things Best Left To Professionals...

"My partner is weirdly prone to cysts."

"I had to drain a 3 inch cyst on her back (thankfully she had a dr's appt the next week), then multiple other little cysts on her legs and chest."

"I never told her to her face but that first giant cyst literally haunted me, the amount of pus and blood I saw....good heavens."- SleepyBiologist

uruguay spot GIF by sargentoPezGiphy

At Least A Lesson Was Learned...

"When I was walking to school one morning, I saw a kid (7-8 yo?) kicking a dog."

"I ran over & kicked the kid and asked him how it felt."

"He ran off and no one saw."

"Still not sorry."- sneezyailurophile

All Creatures Deserve Love

"I was extremely socially isolated as a child and tried to make friends with the coyotes who lived in the woods by our home."

'I caught one in a snare and fed and kept her."

"I wanted a friend."- letthetreeburn

That's What Friends Are For...

"My wife and her best friend pick me up from a frat party black out drunk."

"Then they helped me take a sh*t on the toilet, wiped my a** and then gave me a shower and put me to bed naked."

"Don’t remember any of it."- nc3100

Party Love GIF by Chris CiminoGiphy

Not The Right Kind Of Manure...

"One time I went outside at like 2AM and put the garden hose nozzle into my butthole and sprayed some water into it, then farted it out onto the lawn."

"Basically gave myself an enema with a garden hose."

"I did this because I was bored."

"My neighbour saw me and told my dad (lived at home at the time)."- WaspsInMyGoatse

A Little Fantasy Now And Then...

"When I was younger I joined an international dating site that I figured was a scam."

"Put a black square as my picture and gave myself a fake name, and then looked through their users."

"And after about 10 minutes I had like a 100 messages."

"Most of them were messages telling me how handsome I was or how these women fell in love with me at first site."

"Now I knew it was a scam but when ever I felt down or got rejected for a while I would pop back on the site and read a few messages."

'Yeah it’s kinda cringy and probably pathetic but it made me feel better."

"I would just turn off that logical part of my brain that knew it was a scam for awhile and just pretend I was this popular and desirable guy."

"And it honestly got me through the day sometimes."- Demonking3343

dating app GIFGiphy

If anyone says they've never done anything they're ashamed, or at the very least less-than-proud of, in all likelihood, they are lying.

Or, more likely, they understandably want to pretend that it never happened.

Which might be a little easier than harboring a secret.