People Divulge The Craziest Baby Names They've Ever Heard
Wes Hicks/Reddit

When it comes to naming children, there are all kinds of different approaches.

Some parents like to honor the legacy of a late relative, while there are those who prefer naming their baby after a revered fictional character–"Luke" (Skywalker) being one of them.

But let's be honest. Baby naming can get way out of hand, and it's the child who becomes a victim by having to live with a name they might get teased for...like "Blanket."


Curious to hear examples of what some of those might be, Redditor Sarah_Trekkie asked:

"What are some of the craziest baby names you’ve personally been witness to?"

Pity these children with these unfortunate names.

The Three Hs

"Well they weren't babies, but at the summer camp where I worked this summer. 3 brothers: Honor, Heritage, and believe it or not, Henceforth. I felt a little bad for those kids."

– fabook

It's Satisfying

"The manager at a shop near me is named Goodenough."

– Pagan-za

In Case You Missed It A Second Time

"Coworker grew up with a girl named Kelly Kelly Kelly."

– Jimbo---

Metal Head

"Jam Metallica for a baby girl."

– wordofmouthrevisited

S'No Joke

"Sno White, 9th grade classmate."

– cmac1425

Drugs and babies just shouldn't mix.

Pharma Baby

"I work in child welfare and it’s actually more common than you would think for someone to name their child after a drug or strand of drug they were using at the time. So with that information, MF Pitbull and Knucklehead were the two that I saw that were pretty bad. Another sad fact is when a child is immediately removed from a family (they have already been proven not to be fit parents) they’ll give them the name Baby Boy/Girl or Infant until they’re adopted."

"Edit: at the time = time of conception"

"Edit edit: 'they' as in the nursing staff, the birth parents often aren’t coherent enough or don’t care to give a name."

– spacecowboy203

Out With The Old In With The New

"I summer nannied for two kids, siblings who had been adopted by a wonderful woman who immediately changed their given names, which were Crystal and Rocky."

"Edited to add that both babies were born addicted to meth. Forgot that little nugget."

– checkitbec

It's A Choice

"Went to school with a guy named cedar and his last name was post. I always wonder what his parents were thinking."

– jellyschoomarm

It gets worse.

Going By A Gender

"Boy. True story."

– _mybloodyvalentine

What A Pair

"Noodles and papoose."

"I heard these 2 magical names uttered in a single sentence by a woman. 'Noodles! Put papoose down!'"

– MrScribz

Fantasy Household

"Thunderbird, Winter Star, Rainbow, Baby Girl."

"Culturally not that weird, but day to day life outside of the Rez, strong names to live with."

– ghastlyglittering

How Super

"I met a young man named Jor-El."

"Yes, as in Jor-El, father of Kal-El who became Superman on Earth."

– CowboySpencer

Copy That?

"Xerox."

– hand-pic-appreciator

"Were they a clone?"

– jonsconspiracy

"Nah, just a carbon copy."

– iamevilcupcake

The Pressure Is On

"I was at the park with my nephew last week and a woman started calling for her son to get off the swings. His name was Messiah. That seems like a lot to live up to!"

– BatmansKhaleesi

Getting Royal

"King and his brother Prince."

– Shynerbock12

Raising Alarm

"My friend's sister, named her twins Danger and Fury."

– domestic_omnom

Naming Or Labeling

"These girls at my Korean church were named one and two in Korean. It wasn’t that bad since they went to school here but any time a Korean person heard it it was like wtf."

– Kimchiandfries

I would have to say one of the craziest names I've heard of was Otis Payne.

The names individually are actually pretty cool, but when you slap them together and say the full name, well, I can only imagine the amount of jokes this person had to endure.

He probably lost track of the number of times they saw someone doubling over in fake distress–clenching at a problematic part of their body–and saying his full name in jest.

We get it, we get it, "Oh this pain!"

Poor guy...