It'd Be So Easy, Too[rebelmouse-image 18347605 is_animated_gif=
These stories are in no way a strategy guide to follow, a map to abide by, or rules to success. No, they are simple musings from people who've thought up the best ways to sneak their way into any job they'd want.
Absolutely do not follow the answers to Reddit user, u/NBLSS's, question. Seriously. What high level job do you think you could lie your way into with no experience and no one would notice?
Getting That Tenure[rebelmouse-image 18347606 is_animated_gif=
"They asked me how well I understood theoretical physics. I said I had a theoretical degree in physics. They said welcome aboard."
Fake News[rebelmouse-image 18347607 is_animated_gif=
Head of a Newspaper.
Always just be in a rush and yell things at my underlings. Get me that scoop! Do what you gotta do to get me that story kid! I need pictures of Spiderman!
Not Lies. False Truths.[rebelmouse-image 18347608 is_animated_gif=
Not sure if high level but "Paranormal Investigator".
Lying with conviction and charisma is one of the most important qualities one can have in that line of work.
Someone Who Actually Did It[rebelmouse-image 18347491 is_animated_gif=
Lied my way into a tech repair job.
Asked my new boss if he could run me over their operating procedure with an example on the bench and apart from putting my pc together had no real experience at all. But I watched and learned and asked for lots of second opinions in my first month.
Never got noticed and got extra work from him using my software experience. I still freelance software solutions for him and his clients today hahah.
You Are (Adjective) That Likes (Adverb)[rebelmouse-image 18347610 is_animated_gif=
Horoscope writer seems pretty straightforward
That's All It Takes, Right?[rebelmouse-image 18347611 is_animated_gif=
IT guy. Good ol' unplug it and plug it back in
Get The Team Together[rebelmouse-image 18347612 is_animated_gif=
I'm a pretty good cook, but never worked in catering professionally, other than catering a few friends parties.
One day a small but posh cafe near my kids school put a sign saying they needed a head chef who made "foodie" foods rather than classically made food etc.
I walked in, spoke with one half of the owners (the wife ran the retail part, the Italian classically trained soon-to-be-ex-husband ran the kitchen but was leaving soon). Told her I'm possibly what she's looking for, would she like a demonstration etc. This was on a Thursday, she asked me to come back on the Monday with some dishes.
Long story short, came back Monday and had the job by Thursday. Redsigined the menu, ran a team of 5, put all in place, everyone loved the menu and food...
...and 7 weeks after starting I found that they didn't have a license to sell food. I bounced within 10mins of finding out. All in all, I was on the job 8 weeks running stuff I've never done before. Proud achievement but when I asked legit chef friends about it (who were way jealous I'd done that without any training or anything) they told me that at the very least I could be named in documents if the shop got in trouble for selling food.
Does Anyone Really Know Anything?[rebelmouse-image 18347613 is_animated_gif=
I could just make ANYTHING up and people would agree with me.
Set...[rebelmouse-image 18347614 is_animated_gif=
Secretary of Education?
...SPIKE![rebelmouse-image 18347615 is_animated_gif=
Too easy: President.
Art and creativity is subjective.
One person's garbage is another's dream.
So who really knows what makes a bad movie?
I just know I've witnessed a ton of them.
To each their own I guess.
Redditor NuclearWinterGameswanted to compare notes on the worst cinema has to offer. They asked:
"What is hands down the worst movie you've ever watched?"
There are so many bad movies out there who knows where to begin. I do... Jason X (Jason in Space). It's BRILLIANTLY bad. You'll thank me later.
Cringemarble hornets dancing GIFGiphy
"The Slenderman Movie."
"Definitely. I watched it once with my sister and it was so terrible that the only entertainment we got from it was making jokes about the cringeworthy scenes. They could've done so much more with this adaptation."
Oh Meow No!
"A talking cat."
"I loved this movie. A drunk Eric Roberts literally phoning in his dialog for the cat. The very clearly homosexual dad and son talking about girl problems..."
"Then finding out the director usually makes gay porn. I made some friends watch this. They weren't nearly as smitten as I was with it. I don't like cats and they do. I figured this was just some way a rich dipsh*t found to immortalize their cat. If I had that kind of money, I would have done it for my dog."
The Best of Bad
"Birdemic, the definition of 'comically bad.'"
"Birdemic is a masterpiece of ineptitude. No part of it was not the worst it could possibly be. Terrible acting? Woo-boy. Clueless directing? In spades. Ham-handed editing? Hopeless special effects? Sound quality of two tin cans tied with string? Birdemic has it all."
"Dragon Ball Evolution."
"Goku who for whatever reason is a high school student. Imagine getting a character that incredibly wrong. A character that you could google, and learn every single inch of their personality traits, likes, dislikes, speaking mannerisms etc. You would think it's impossible to play or write that character wrong."
Memed OutEmoji Apple GIFGiphy
"The Emoji Movie, I hate it trying to relate to kids today it's like a teacher using dead tiktok memes in their presentation."
I'm strangely fascinated. Oh help me.
Compared to Booksgame of thrones fire GIFGiphy
"Eragon. And the Avatar movie (The Last Airbender). Technically, there are worse. But those two... Are SO bad if you even barely compare them with the original (book/series)..."
Worst of the Worst
"I visited my mom a few weeks ago and I saw this awful piece of crap movie on Lifetime with her, about a disk jockey trying to find love and running into a killer. Horrible acting, horrible story, shi**y writing. Worst movie I ever saw in my life. I don’t know the title. That movie was the first Lifetime movie I saw in full since I was a child living in a house with one television. 😂 Those things didn’t get any better."
"'The Killer Shrews' when I was home after school in the 1950s, I watched black & white movies on TV. (I was probably 9 or 10). This one was so badly done, I kept watching out of fascination. People are isolated on an island, where shrews have grown to enormous size. There's a line like 'shrews had to eat their body weight in food every day,' so the risk is that they will attack and eat you."
"Much of the movie has people just sitting around, saying pointless dialogue, looking worried. That part is so boring. But then you see the shrews. They're dogs with big tails. They walk like dogs, casually, not at all threateningly, while the people shriek. Hand puppets of shrews were also used. The shrew scenes are so poorly done it's really funny. I had to keep watching."
Ho Ho NO!
"Krampus: The Christmas Devil (2013). I thought I'm going for the 2015 Krampus I intended but mixed my movies and... it's just... bad in every aspect. Story, dialogues, scenes, acting, costumes, camera, sound, soundtrack, effects, everything is terrible!"
"Watched it with my girlfriend during the holidays and said all I liked about it (and we didn’t finish it) was the title and I pronounced it Krahm-POOSE… over and over at random times of the day for like a week."
The HorrorIan Mckellen Yes GIF by Cats MovieGiphy
"I've seen Cats 3 times, there is something horrifying and fascinating about it to me. It's a mystifying movie, I don't understand why, it's genuinely extremely terrible. The only part that shatters the glamour and just becomes outright bad to me is James Corden."
Now that is a list of horror. I can't imagine any of that sober.
Life is really tough right now.
It's never been easy, but the world is such a disaster, it's really hard to have faith in humanity.
We need to help one another.
And often times the greatest help comes from a complete stranger.
We all leave an imprint on one another, good or bad.
Some leave a more permanent one than others.
Redditornyxflarewanted to talk about the people from our lives that left a lasting impression. They asked:
"Who is one stranger you still remember?"
So who here still depends on the kindness of strangers?
1986Baby Facepalm GIF by MOODMANGiphy
"I was leaving the hospital in 1986 with my husband and newborn. A lady in the elevator admired the baby and then looked at us and said, 'be good to each other.' We weren’t."
Pay it Forward
"When I was 18 I was at McDonalds trying to get breakfast for all the guys from work, I came up like 5 bucks short and this old guy paid the difference and said 'you’ll have to help somebody out someday too.' So now whenever I get the chance to do something like that for someone that’s what I say. I hope the cycle makes it back to that guy."
"One day I woke up and had a headache. And that headache lasted every day for 2 years. I saw every doctor I could and tried every diet I could. No answers. My quality of life was non-existent and I was on the cusp of losing my job. I was at a restaurant with my mom, I was on one of my specialty diets that was supposed to help with headaches (spoilers, it wasn't)."
"I asked the waitress what was in the salad dressing. She asked 'I know it's none of my business, but can I ask why"' A short conversation later, she mentioned a doctor that worked specifically for people dealing with mold toxicity, otherwise known as MYCOTOXICOSIS."
"That waitress saved my life that day and I don't even remember her name. This was in Superior, Colorado at the now closed CB&Potts. If you happen to read this, you have no idea how grateful my family and I are to have run into you that day. Thank you."
Thanks Sweet Lady
"I had a person like this when I was a kid and I left my wallet next to a vending machine at the mall and when I came back it was gone. I lost a whole 7 dollars and I was devastated. This sweet little old lady saw me having a melt down and I was freaking out about how my parents were going to kill me and this lady legit gave me a 20."
"To an 8 year old who gets 2$ allowance per week a 20 was like getting handed 300$ as an adult. I hope it came back around for her too. Since this was in 1997 and she was probably 70 I don't think she would still be alive today."
"The Sikh man I met on a flight from god-knows-where to London who invited me to their temple to eat for free."
I'm amazed. There are good people in the world. Still jaded.
Thank you stranger...Ufc 205 Thank You GIF by UFCGiphy
"My anxiety was at it's peak and I was walking home from school. Then someone came up to me and just started talking to be like I was a normal person."
"Social skills were @ss, but he didn't seem to care. Gave me the confidence I needed to start doing the same and helping others who were lonely. Thank you, stranger. It was because of him that I was able to help others get out of their Social awkwardness."
"It was around February 2016 and the city got hit with a massive snow storm, I remember waiting at the bus stop with a mother and her child in a stroller. The bus was 45 minutes delayed, it was very cold with the wind chill, when the bus arrived we both got on."
"I chose a seat of the opposite side of the bus and this mother and her now crying child was sitting near the front, I could see that the mother was trying to warm her sons hands but was having no luck while her child kept crying. I moved from my seat and sat next to her and took her child’s hands in my hands. His hands were freezing while mine were toasty from my gloves."
"After about 5 minutes, the child calmed down and the bus was quiet again. I stayed with that mother and child for almost 2 hours on the bus until we finally got to our stop. I never learned of the child’s name or the mothers. I just simple sat there with them warming her child’s freezing hands up."
Stay for Me
"I don’t remember him, just what he did for me. I was 19, got t-boned in an intersection by someone running a red and was knocked unconscious. He was a witness, and I think someone said he was the first person to call 9-1-1. He took my phone while I was out (before the days of locking phones), called my house, no one home, called my dad’s cell, which was answered."
"He told my dad what had happened and which hospital the paramedics said they were taking me to, and somehow managed to avoid making my dad panic about me. I mostly came to before I got loaded into the ambulance, at which point he gave me back my phone and said my parents would meet me at the hospital."
"I gather he then stayed to talk to the cops to speak up for me because I didn’t remember what had happened and the other driver kept saying it was my fault. I never got to thank him for going so far out of his way to help a complete stranger."
I think about her often...
"I believe I was 19 at the time. I worked at Walmart at time and was working in the back that day when a lady that worked in the meat department was walking past me crying, I hugged her and asked what was wrong. She was covered in bruises and she told me her boyfriend beat her. She opened up and told me she was leaving him so I asked if she needed a place to stay that way she's safe and she told me no."
"Turns out he was waiting outside for her during her lunch, I once again asked if she was okay and if she needed help and she said no. After that night I never saw her again. I have no idea if she is alive and safe. I hope she's okay, I think about her often."
CrashCrashing Relapse Records GIF by Red FangGiphy
"This guy that helped me out after I rolled my truck, he was late for work because he stayed with me until the tow truck got there. Really restored my faith in humanity."
Some people just leave a lasting impression. So better. Be kind.
When we hear the words "addict" or "addiction", our mind usually jumps to drugs and alcohol.
But addictive behavior transcends those common vices.
Indeed, people can find themselves becoming addicted to just about anything.
While some pose a less significant threat to one's physical health, they remain no less serious a problem.
Redditor Windsorbear97 was curious to hear which addictions the Reddit community felt weren't given enough attention of concern, leading them to ask:
'What is an addiction that nobody takes seriously?"
Time to cut back on the screen time...
"My phone and my usage of said phone."- VagueViper88
And not the kind you find on stage...
"Some people thrive and are addicted to drama and chaos."- CM_NRS
You can't just have one
"Binge eating."- Loulabee1983
Oh look at that, I must have it!
"Especially if you grew up poor and have more money when you're an adult."
"My mom was so bad with this that when she died it was a disaster figuring out what she had paid for and where she had debt."
"I have a friend who would spend her whole paycheck on Amazon purchases and wouldn't even see this as being an issue, even when she would beg her parents or rich men for money to make rent."
"They usually buy junk they don't even need or clothes."
"So many clothes."
"They always shop when they are not feeling well, it is 100% a coping mechanism."
"I was in my 20s when I realized that no one else had a mom who would go to Walmart with a 100$ budget cause they were feeling sad."
"Such an obviously expensive addiction too." - User Deleted
How "social" is it though?
"Dopamine feedback loop from various forms of electronic entertainment and social media sites."- Clintman
"Went to a counsellor after I had taken any sort of social media app off of my phone in an attempt to stop using it to distract myself from what I'm feeling because I'm currently going through a break up."
"Basically as soon as I got too emotional in the session, she suggested we do this blinking exercise where you look at a nice photo and blink and do that a few times."
"we did this because she 'knew distractions worked well for me'."
"That's why I'm back here as well."
"Seems pointless to distract myself if my 'good' option is to be distracted by someone else sitting across the room."- Glum_Advertising_958
Can't think of getting through my day without it.
"Caffeine, without a doubt in my mind."- No_Relationship9732
Big money... not really
"It’s taken seriously to an extent, but things like the lottery are very glamorized, and there’s so many tv competitions and radio competitions etc out there nowadays and they’re kinda gateways."- Safe-Initiative4266
There's no harm in putting something off... until it's too late!
"It’s embarrassing because I should be able to 'just do it', but then a task that shouldn’t feel too hard will feel so daunting and impossible, I’ll end up doing it late or sometimes not at all, and the whole cycle is the root of so many problems in my life."
"It’s emotionally and functionally horrible when it gets bad enough."
"I’ve read all the advice out there and none of it works for me for longer than a day or two."
"I’m at my wit’s end and feel crazy because it’s so illogical but I can’t stop."- thatbassonist
Indeed, if you find yourself unable to kick a particular habit, it might be worth asking yourself if this is, in fact, just a habit.
And then find the courage to ask for help should you need it.
Banning and censorship is nothing new in America.
Or, in the world at large really.
It all starts on a small scale.
They start stripping us of things at school and work.
You know, all for the greater good.
Redditor t0rnado_thegamerwanted to discuss the items that have been taken out of circulation for ridiculous reasons. They asked:
"What's the stupidest thing your school/work banned?"
I feel the banning has only just begun. But let's see what we've already lost.
FallenGIF by LeannimatorGiphy
"We weren't allowed to build a snowman because it 'might fall on you.' They suggested we build a 'snow forest' instead - snowballs on the ground > 1 meter apart. Nobody built snow forests."
"6th graders and only 6th graders weren't allowed to draw outside of assigned art projects. I heard any number of reasons for the ban--'gang signs,' vandalism, distraction--but never got one for why the ban didn't apply to 5th or 7th graders. My only guess is that one of the 6th grade teachers just really hated seeing children's artwork."
"My primary school (age 5 to 11) in the UK banned talking during lunch. Every single child had to eat lunch in a big room, in absolute silence. No talking to friends or socialising allowed. It was pretty insane now I think about it."
"I was gonna comment this too. My school banned talking at lunch if it got too loud. We had a cup at each table the teachers would make us turn them over and stop talking frequently each lunch."
"The theory was that someone would choke and no one would hear them if it was loud. Incidentally, the only time somebody choked was during a period of quiet and nobody knew because YOU CAN’T TALK WHILE CHOKING!! The person was fine though."
The Rule Book
"The lack of shoes, as in there is an specific rule against it detailing what should and should not be worn in your feet, all this because a friend of mine read the Rule book and it only said that 'Students must always come wearing appropriate pants and shirts that do not break the etiquette code.' He went to school with shoes and took them off at the entrance for a semester just to piss off the principal. I love that guy."
CodeCharlie Brown Snow GIFGiphy
"Anything with a snowman on it. Apparently that was code for cocaine."
Wow, Snowmen really get a bad rap out in these streets.
OuchGo Easy On Me GIF by AdeleGiphy
"We weren't allowed to say anything was easy because it might hurt the feelings of kids who didn't think that thing was easy."
"Back in my high school, they banned water bottles unless they were clear bc people had been sneaking alcohol into school, but like clear alcoholic drinks are a thing?? so it basically did nothing."
"Our school did that, too, after previously banning water bottles altogether. One of my teachers then got really bent out of shape about so many people using disposable plastic bottles but the school was really strict about how clear your water bottle had to be and not everyone had a qualifying reusable bottle on hand so what did she expect?"
in the ye' olden days...
"Bottle flipping when that was a trend in the ye' olden days long since forgotten. I don’t know why, and it’s not like they did a good job telling us about the ban so my first and only detention I’ve ever gotten was from flipping a stupid water bottle. That and the 'fight club' that formed in PE but that’s a different story."
"Probably Yugioh cards.They were banned because a group of moms made up a rumor that in another unspecified country a kid had died while holding a fiend-type monster, so clearly they were satanic. Years later I learned that one of those moms was my friend's mom and she just didn't want to buy the cards for her son."
Ho Ho HoMerry Christmas Reaction GIF by Macy'sGiphy
"Saying Christmas. Had to be called 'the current religious festival.' And no decorations were allowed."
Why are we banning the wrong things? This is nonsense.