Being part of a healthy, fun, committed couple is honestly one of the coolest things in the world. You and your partner get a bunch of inside jokes, you've got a built-in sidekick for shenanigans, and even the really boring or terrible things are a little bit better because you're not alone. Your partner will probably be the person who makes you laugh the most, knows your secrets, and is right there by your side for all of those nights that turn into stories.
One Reddit user asked:
What's the weirdest thing you've done with your partner?
Honestly... this is all love. Some of it is really gross or probably illegal (both?) but it's all love. Here are some of the more epic responses.
Just Get It Out Of Your System
One time we went on vacation in a coastal town and got absolutely sh!tfaced together. Our hotel was in a walking distance so we went back after our shenanigans. We both hopped in the shower together and I sat on the floor because I wasn't feeling well.
I jokingly said that she should help me throw up so I could get it over with, and without missing a beat she shoved her finger down my throat and I threw up all over both of us.
Best place to be at that moment was the shower so it all worked out.
We are getting married. I can't wait!
- collurad
Goodnight Kisses
We've been married for 4 years, every night after we are done cuddling and turn opposite ways to sleep we press our butts together and make kissing noises. Like our butts are kissing each other goodnight.
- mossyfox
Her Cup Runneth Over
My husband and I have a ritual where every night after he gets out of the shower he approaches me naked and allows me to cup his balls for 10-30 seconds. It's completely non-sexual and I cant even remember when we started it.. but it's a nightly occurrence now and I get upset if he doesn't let me :)
Ok, I Help
My boyfriend let me aim for him while peeing once. I asked if I could help as a joke while I was in the bathroom for something else and he's like 'uhhh..?' it wasn't a no and I'm the type to play chicken in the 'how weird will you let me get' sense. So I took hold while quietly repeating 'I help? Ok, I help' periodically.
It's a lot harder to aim than it looks.
- kjipg
Cheesecake Factory
We got super high one night and downloaded the PDF of the Cheesecake Factory menu and then continued to laugh for hours at how many pages and options there were.
HOURS.
Knee Nibbles
I had to the urge to lightly bite her knee. Found out it's a very weirdly placed erogenous zone for her and she feels weird now. I do it from time to time and it's only gotten more sensitive, so now it tickles her, but only if I lightly bite it.
An Unfair Advantage
My ex and I had a weird little competition that endured 6 long years.
Whenever we showered together, we'd try to sneakily start peeing on the other one without them noticing. Bonus points for finishing completely, or getting them while they're facing you.
I could only really get him while he was shampooing - but his parts gave him an unfair advantage.. so he def won.
FBotY
We compete for First Boop of the Day (but neither bed boops nor car boops count because bed boops are too easy and car boops are dangerous), and we compete annually for First Boop of the Year (FBotY) (Edit: a boop is when you poke a nose softly with your index finger)
FBotY is very important & prestigious -- if you lose First Boop, you have to wait til next year for a chance -- no best 2 out of 3 or any of that nonsense. I have won FBotY 4 out of 6 years that we have been playing. The first year we did FBotY, we practically fought for the boop and almost tripped over ourselves/poked our eyes out in the process, plus it made the new year's kiss very tense because we each wanted to win first boop immediately after the kiss. So now we have enacted a rule that FBotY can't actually be on Jan 1st or any day in the beginning of January that we are officially celebrating New Year's because it makes New Year's ultra competitive immediately.
Merry Christmas
We dressed up in shitty 70's sweaters and took photos in front of the Christmas tree holding our cats like babies and looking slightly to the left. It was...hideous. So we sent them as our Christmas cards. Now we have a tradition of doing really sh!tty photos.
That Bright Green Smell
My wife and I went shopping for a new perfume. My wife can't smell. Or at least every smell and taste is muffled. I try to communicate smells to her in a way that she can understand - like colors. We forget how weird that must sound to other people. So I was tasked with deciding which perfume she should buy.
At the store the perfume lady took a tester, sprayed perfume on it, handed it to my wife who directly handed it over to me. I sniffed on it and declared: "No, that's not you. That's too pink." The perfume store lady seemed a little bewildered, but went on to the next bottle.
The next one was too fruity - or "orange or red" - and we finally settled for a "bright green and blue" smell (fresh, herbal fragrance).
Meanwhile the perfume store lady was totally confused and asked in all politeness if we were screwing with her. So we told her how I always describe smells with colors to my wife so she can have a sense of it.
Target Stalker
Whenever we'd go to Target we'd play "stalker." We'd split up, and i'd go about my shopping, and my boyfriend would follow me around at a distance and kind of peek at me from the end of the aisle. If i caught him looking at me, he'd awkwardly pretend he was looking at whatever he was standing next to. This would go on for a while until i needed to talk to him about something, (or vice versa) and one of us would text the other and he'd come walking over like nothing happened. It would always crack us up and it was only at Target.
A Crab's Uncle
My partner gets really tired and will say the most random ass things when she's a certain level of sleepy. For example:
Her: I have a... starts making crab claw motions with her hands
Me: You have a what now?
Her: You know, a...continues to crab
Me: I don't understand.
Her: You know! It's...it's a crab's uncle.
Me: ...a lobster?
Her: YES!
(She does not have a lobster.)
The Wal-Mart Rescue
I was 8 months pregnant and my husband and I were in Wal-mart, I accidentally sneezed and peed all over myself (almost thought my water broke) I started to cry out of fear that someone would see and all of a sudden my husband grabs a bowl off of the shelf sticks it on the floor between my legs and starts making ambulance noises circles me rips his sweatshirt off which he wasnt wearing a shirt under wraps it around my waist, picks me up, and runs out of the store shirtless, yelling her water broke her water broke clean up on isle 6 we get to our vehicle almost dieing from laughter and I look at him and say my water didnt break and he says i know sweetheart and reaches in the back and grabs a pair of pants from a bag... I guess he packed me what he called an emergen(wee) (pee)ants bag. He's my hero.
...And It Worked
My boyfriend's ears were blocked and he kept trying to pop them himself (by blocking his nose and breathing out) but it wasn't working. So I, being a concerned girlfriend, suggested maybe they had to be popped by air going IN through his nose. Long story short, he closed his mouth and I clamped my mouth around his nose and blew in AND IT WORKED.
Urethral Broadway
This is very weird and I've never told anyone. Sometimes when we're bored in bed I'll hold his dick and play with it so it looks like his penis is singing via the urethra. Just lightly opening and closing. I'll do weird broadway vibrato songs and whatnot. I think he just tolerates it lol
Holy Havoc
Does buying 34 porcelain nun figurines at the dollar tree and sneaking into a convent to hide them in strange places count?
1Kg
My girlfriend and I went to high school together and many years ago when we had a physics class together, she somehow left the lab with a 1 kg weight hooked on her backpack and made it all the way home with it. We both laughed about it and I broke the news to her that she is a theif now. She proceeded to secretly hide the weight in my bag to pawn her crime off on me. You can guess what I did next when I found it.
7 years later we are still hiding this 1 kg weight in the most unsuspected places we can think of to prank the other.
A few spots that come to mind: Jacket pockets, sock drawer, winter clothes in storage, purse, dress shoe, bag of rice, pillow case.
She doesn't know but right now I've got it hidden in an antique camera bag under some film capsules. Could be year(s) before she finds it.
Interpretive Poop Dances
Each of our dogs has a distinct way of pooping. Our sheepdog mix will hunch over and walk as she poops, scattering it. While our pom-pug will ninja it and then kick dirt you into the other dogs face. So my husband and I created interpretive dances of their poops and performed it for our friends... several times.
Life In Harmony
We're both musicians, so we like to practice our harmonies by singing directly into each other's mouths while lying in bed. I especially like to sing a really close harmonies so the vibrations are really strong.
- hoolie94
Scientifically Accurate Dinosaur Noises
Cuddling while making dinosaur noises. My now-fiance got back from one of her lectures, during which she learned what dinosaurs may have actually sounded like based on their anatomy. I asked her what they believed dinosaurs really sounded like and she slowly looked up from her laptop and proceeded to scream (almost similarly to Dory in Finding Nemo during the whale calling scene) and I quote: "HHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHH".
We went on making these odd dinosaur noises for about a couple of months, sometimes either one of us would go in for a kiss only to be greeted by a very loud dino HHHHHHHUHUUHUHHUHUUUHUUUUHUHUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
H/T: Reddit
Scientists Have Developed A New 'Planetary Health Diet' That Could Literally Save Lives And The Planet At The Same Time
In an attempt to help curb worldwide issues such as climate change, and malnutrition in poverty stricken areas, a joint commission by EAT, a non-profit seeking to transform the global food system, and The Lancet, an old and respected medical journal, has released a recommended guideline for dietary and planetary health.
The report recommends cutting back meat consumption to at most, a burger patty or equivalent a week, and supplementing your protein intake with nuts, legumes, and beans. An increase in veggies and fruits would make up the bulk of your meal plate.
The dietary guideline was established by a coalition of over 30 scientists, researchers, and doctors designed not just with human nutrition in mind, but also sustainability. With estimations that the planet will reach 10 billion people by 2050, scientists are working to figure out how to feed them all.
Additionally, the red meat industry has for a long time, been known to be a contributor to greenhouse gasses, while land conversion for food production is the greatest factor in biodiversity loss. The report from the EAT-Lance commission estimates that through nutrition and agricultural changes from this diet, we can save 11 million lives every year.
That sounds pretty great.
The EAT-Lancet commission lists very specific macronutrient ranges for their proposed diet, from 300g of veggies per day, to only 7g for red meats. However, it's this specificity that is drawing criticism.
John Ioannidis, the chair of disease prevention at Stanford university has praised the growing attention to how diets can affect the environment, but states the commission doesn't represent the scientific uncertainty between health and nutrition.
Dr. Georgia Ede, who writes for the site Diagnosis: Diet, took issue with the report's specific recommendations. Dr. Ede's website makes the case for low carb and paleolithic diets.
She points out the commission says,
"We have a high level of scientific certainty about the overall direction and magnitude of associations described in this Commission, although considerable uncertainty exists around detailed quantifications."
And yet, they recommend 0 to 58g per day of poultry, with a 29g midpoint. This seems very specific.
People are not willing to give up meat so easily.
Still, the report is a good starting point for the discussion we need to have about food's connection to not just our health, but the planet's well-being.
As Dr. Howard Frumklin, head of the Wellcome Trust which helped found the EAT foundation says himself,
"The links among diet, health and the environment are well-documented, but, until now, the challenge of attaining healthy diets from a sustainable food system has been hampered by a lack of science-based guidelines.
"While this report does not have all the answers, it provides governments, producers and individuals with an evidence-based starting point to work together to transform our food systems and cultures."
What should be a discussion is turning into an argument.
If we're going to be able to feed everyone, ensure their diet is nutritionally balanced, and try to curb climate change, it's important that people start talking about the positives and negatives of their current diet. The report provides a sense of context to which people can compare and share their ideas and study.
'Captain Marvel' May Have Just Introduced A New Black Female Superhero Right Under Our Noses
Warning: Minor spoilers ahead.
Nothing is a coincidence in the complex Marvel Cinematic Universe.
Now that Marvel Studios and Disney finally gave a female superhero her own movie, we realize Captain Marvel may have introduced a young character who takes on a more significant role in the future of the MCU.
The '90s-set origin story is led by the dual personalities of Carol Danvers — a U.S. Air Force pilot; and Vers, a Kree from the planet Hala in another life — and becomes Captain Marvel, expertly played by Brie Larson.
Without sounding too cryptic, Captain Marvel is the sum of Carol and Vers, and the complex narrative revolves around Vers finding out about her past.
Captain Marvel introduces us to a varied ensemble of personalities, including a young Nick Fury, played by Samuel L. Jackson, with whom she teams to fight off shape-shifting aliens called skrulls.
Instead of relying on a male love interest, Danvers has a best friend in Maria Rambeau, played by Lashana Lynch, giving the genre a refreshing feminist twist on the buddy action flick.
But it's Maria Rambeau's daughter Monica (Akira Akbar) who is making ardent fans giddy with anticipation about the character's future.
the future is beautiful and your name is monica rambeau https://t.co/HtNuXrWaZL— captain carol ︽✵︽ (@captain carol ︽✵︽) 1551819911.0
The precocious 11-year-old is, for all intents and purposes, just an adorable, "normal" kid who has ambitions of flying in the Air Force to emulate "Auntie Carol."
Monica's bravery belies her age as she encourages her mother to flee into space at the risk of never seeing her again for a mission involving the skrulls.
But there is more to her intelligence and inherent altruism, and those familiar with the comics are aware of her exciting destiny.
Refinery 29 revealed that the adult Monica Rambeau is just another iteration of Captain Marvel, and she is expected to come into prominence during the supposed 24-year time gap between Captain Marvel and Avengers: Endgame.
T'Challa is in the MCU Carol Danvers is in the MCU Monica Rambeau is in the MCU Y'all we are so close! https://t.co/rilnRAoErT— Raymond X (@Raymond X) 1552076618.0
Monica's origin story includes being a lieutenant in the New Orleans harbor patrol who comes into contact with "extra-dimensional energy" while preventing the creation of a powerful weapon.
As a result, she is able to manipulate, absorb and create energy.
Give Monica Rambeau her things!!!!— Ira Madison III (@Ira Madison III) 1552331197.0
According to the Hollywood Reporter, Monica is the second of six characters to take on the name of Captain Marvel and becomes the leader of the Avengers. She eventually adopts the codenames: Photon, Pulsar and in 2013, Spectrum.
✴️ monica rambeau: captain marvel | photon | pulsar | spectrum reading guide ✴️ https://t.co/etPruwZfbA— val saw captain marvel (@val saw captain marvel) 1552160876.0
The multifarious identities are complex for the uninitiated, for sure.
This might help:
In #captainMarvel they introduce the daughter of Monica Rambeau. Her name is also Monica Rambeau. In 2019 she would… https://t.co/MZMR6Cjcqm— Marc Dirix (@Marc Dirix) 1552071449.0
Fans are keeping their fingers crossed in the hopes that we'll be seeing the black female superhero's destiny realized.
Is anyone hoping that little Monica Rambeau is all grown up and busts into Avengers headquarters to show up the Sci… https://t.co/T56AX95nOC— Liz Nicole (@Liz Nicole) 1552015405.0
I know they didn’t give me all those heroic closeups of baby Monica for no reason. @ Marvel GIVE US MONICA RAMBEAU https://t.co/ECp8TlrPpQ— Eartha Snit (@Eartha Snit) 1552011810.0
Monica Rambeau and all of her code names getting ready for the next phase of the MCU https://t.co/o87qOdsoBo— Child of Hazel and Smoke (@Child of Hazel and Smoke) 1552257376.0
fun fact: maria’s daughter monica rambeau actually becomes captain marvel in the future and becomes the leader of t… https://t.co/pzzVyfHMf7— natasha ☾ | SAW CAPTAIN MARVEL !!! (@natasha ☾ | SAW CAPTAIN MARVEL !!!) 1552208712.0
The #CaptainMarvel trailer didn't do a good job. With this piece, I wanted to be clear that this film is for Black… https://t.co/3hckZUDltH— Jaleesa Lashay Diaz (@Jaleesa Lashay Diaz) 1552069934.0
I want a sequel yesterday. I just don’t know where they will have it. Will it take place in the past? (So much more… https://t.co/taq2pR4NyN— RoboFan (@RoboFan) 1552018976.0
@MarvelStudios Monica Rambeau! #CaptainMarvel I can't wait for her to get her powers! https://t.co/CCQ9P3iFFV— Jason (Captain Marvel did THAT) (@Jason (Captain Marvel did THAT)) 1551802986.0
I also freaked when Maria finally called her daughter Monica and I was like THERE SHE IS, MY GIRL, MY STAR MONICA RAMBEAU— Becca 💛 ECCC Q8 (@Becca 💛 ECCC Q8) 1552063569.0
As we've seen in Black Panther, the emergence of more black female superheroes is encouraging, and the seed planted with Monica Rambeau in Captain Marvel augurs a bright and exciting future for the MCU.
People Are Roasting Trump Over His Mind-Numbing Observation About The Wetness Of Water 😂
Donald Trump thanked the first responders who came to the aid of victims of Hurricane Florence. The storm devastated portions of North Carolina, dumping massive amounts of rain and damaging millions of dollars in property. Many natural areas were destroyed, some farmers lost everything and more than a few people have been left homeless. The first responders after this massive storm were literal life savers, and Trump was absolutely right to thank them. Unfortunately, the sentiment of his message was lost for many people because he didn't seem to put any effort or preparation into what he was saying. Then, in the middle of his off-the-cuff message, he confused everyone by talking about the wetness of water.
As Trump described the storm and the importance of first responders he told the world:
This is a tough hurricane, one of the wettest we've ever seen from the standpoint of water. Rarely have we had an experience like it and it certainly is not good.
The Tweet went out in the middle of the day on Tuesday, September 18th. At the time of this article, it hasn't even been up for 24 hours and already has over 13,000 comments. Many of them pointed out how Trump didn't even seem to try...
and how asinine his description was.
We don't know if Trump will continue to address the public by releasing these kinds of videos, or if they will continue to be as unrehearsed as this one is. We assure you, if they are, Twitter will have plenty to say about it.
H/T: Huffington Post, Twitter
Arkansas High School Suspends Student Paper For Publishing 'Disruptive' Investigation Into Shady Football Transfers
Halle Roberts is the editor-in-chief of the Har-Ber Herald, the school newspaper for Springdale High School in Arkansas. The 17-year-old student was suspended after she wrote an investigative piece criticizing the transfer of five football players to a rival school.
Players are not allowed to be transferred to a different school because they would like to play for a different team. They are allowed to transfer only for academic reasons. So Roberts got to digging. Her paper filed FOIA requests and received official information from the Arkansas Activities Association saying that the students were transferred for academic reasons. However, the students themselves said otherwise.
Roberts quoted one student in her paper saying:
"We just want to go over there because we have a better chance of getting scholarships and playing at D1."
Another student told Roberts:
"I just feel like it's better for my future to go out there and get college looks."
Soon after the report was published, the superintendent of the district, Jim Rollins, asked the teacher advisor for the school paper, Karla Sprague, to take the story down. She obliged.
Rollins wrote a letter stating that the piece was:
"intentionally negative, demeaning, derogatory, hurtful and potentially harmful to the students addressed in those articles."
Roberts, undeterred, is still working on a new edition of the story that includes the school's censorship.
Mike Hiestand of the Student Press Law Center had this to say:
"School officials at this point seem to me to have completely thrown up their hands and said, ‘we’re not going to l… https://t.co/PgVYFlVAlM— Amber Jamieson (@Amber Jamieson) 1543687827.0
And Halle Roberts, who dreams of being an ESPN reporter, stated:
“They are like ‘well you raised an uproar, we’re going to try and silence you,’” said Halle Roberts, 17, the editor… https://t.co/6dKFeF0so4— Amber Jamieson (@Amber Jamieson) 1543690272.0
People were impressed with Roberts.
@hallecole21 @BuzzFeedNews I'm so proud of you! You're not just fighting for yourself, you're fighting for student… https://t.co/hjVIvzstZ1— 🌺Lisa Daily is writing⛱ (@🌺Lisa Daily is writing⛱) 1543718652.0
@hallecole21 @BuzzFeedNews I shared your story on my Facebook page and am so proud of you kids for telling the stor… https://t.co/9gekpHSwey— Derryl Trujillo (@Derryl Trujillo) 1543694164.0
@hallecole21 @BuzzFeedNews Keep up the fight Halle!!— Katie Maner (@Katie Maner) 1543762811.0
Some had harsh words for the school's administration.
@BuzzFeedNews @KatinaParon The principal and the superintendent should be fired, not the teacher. And the students… https://t.co/AfE6JTmowp— Jody Beck (@Jody Beck) 1543754569.0
@ambiej @BuzzFeedNews Abuse of power by the school administration— Lovehersports50 (@Lovehersports50) 1543686742.0
@ambiej Hey @sdaleschools School board members. Why are you allowing Arkansas Har-Ber High School Principal Paul Gr… https://t.co/8pdT0St1FO— Nancy Levine (@Nancy Levine) 1543693785.0
And most had high praise for Roberts and the other student journalists working on this piece.
A great example of investigate student journalism, and why it needs more recognition. https://t.co/s4MBLn0HiN— Gabija Gataveckaitė (@Gabija Gataveckaitė) 1543692451.0
Much to appreciate about @ambiej’s reporting on this Arkansas school district’s effort to suppress a high school pa… https://t.co/fIk5vTaWCZ— Pat Berry (@Pat Berry) 1543688372.0
High school students do real journalism, school district immediately tries to shut them down, despite state law gua… https://t.co/HqOgXTv1bl— Jeff Amy (@Jeff Amy) 1543692270.0
Oh this is the good stuff. I love this editor. Great work. Stand for journalists. https://t.co/QlrTTzrqs8— Scott Lewis (@Scott Lewis) 1543693549.0
And Halle Roberts herself closed by saying:
thank you so much. #freedomofthepress https://t.co/LsjWT7nycD— halle roberts (@halle roberts) 1543685392.0
Fight on, Halle!