Computer Technicians Share The Most Bizarre Things They've Found On A Customer's Computer[rebelmouse-image 18347491 is_animated_gif=
Ever wonder what the weirdest things computer technicians stumble across on a client's computer?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
Apparently, he was f_cking serious.[rebelmouse-image 18344959 is_animated_gif=
I have a buddy who works IT. One of the best stories he has ever shared was about a person who didn't know there was an eject button for floppy disks and ended up pouring liquid butter into the disk drive so that he could lubricate it enough to rip it out with a pair of pliers. As the guy was explaining all this, my friend snatched the floppy from his hand and popped it into the drive. The guy immediately started freaking out since it took him like two hours to pry the fucker out. My friend just hit the eject button and stood there holding the floppy disk right in front of his face as the guy looked back and forth between the disk and the computer like "...Are you f_cking serious?"
Important, quality content.[rebelmouse-image 18347492 is_animated_gif=
User departing the firm, recent manager in her late twenties, asks to retrieve her personal images. She traveled a lot to tropical places and had an entire folder dedicated to candid photos of guys in swimsuits.
Laptops + rain = fail.[rebelmouse-image 18347493 is_animated_gif=
I do IT support for a school and had a teacher call me one day as 17 of the Laptops the students use all stopped working at the same time, the teacher claimed that we must have rolled out an update that had broken all the machines so was irate that we fix what we did now!! As she couldn't teach without them.
Only when I got ahold of the Laptops which did I learn the teacher had them all working outside on a rainy day studying weather etc.
To each their own I suppose.[rebelmouse-image 18347494 is_animated_gif=
Soooooo much hentai. Hentai desktop, hentai videos, hentai games, hentai manga, hentai pictures. He brought it in because he thought he had a virus. I was polite and didn't really react or say anything when I first saw the desktop wallpaper. I still can't believe somebody can be so nonchalant about such a massive porn collection.
This is just impressive.[rebelmouse-image 18347495 is_animated_gif=
This was back in the late '90s and the dude had a folder marked "Jerks, Douchebags, and A**holes" so I had some free time and investigated. He literally kept files on every piece of celebrity misconduct he unearthed. Thanks to him, I learned John Lennon beat his wife way ahead of everyone else.
Mud. In a laptop that supposedly treated normally. Okurrrr[rebelmouse-image 18347496 is_animated_gif=
Mud. A student brought in a laptop that wouldn't power on. I removed the bottom of the laptop and found a thin layer of mud in it. The student couldn't provide any explanation as to why it was there of course, because she swore she treated just as she was supposed to.
Grab the Purell...[rebelmouse-image 18347497 is_animated_gif=
One of my older customers had a saved bookmark for 'Dungeon porn'. The laptop was always overly greasy. Went through a bottle of hand sanitizer every time I delt with him
No.[rebelmouse-image 18347499 is_animated_gif=
The absolute worst was when I was at my first job. I was around 16 and worked with an older 21-year-old girl who was teaching me a lot. One day a customer walks in with an old PC that looked heavy, I took it to the back of the store and went back to the customer to ask a few questions when we suddenly hear my coworker scream really loud. There was a cockroach but it didn't look normal, look up a Madagascar cockroach and ugh, disgusting thing but whatever killed it and moved on with work. A few minutes later there was another one but we couldn't figure out where they were coming from until we opened the PC and we found it infested, there was this huge nest of them...
Still have nightmares about it, disgusting.
I'd have cut it off at the dolls. Creeper level: Jedi.[rebelmouse-image 18347501 is_animated_gif=
- Thousands of photographs of creepy dolls. Like, tens of thousands, and of different creepy dolls;
- Hundreds of tiny postage-stamp sized pictures of women's toes. (Assuming female toes; they all had scarlet-red toenail polish.)r;
- Enough bookmarks to white supremacy and anti-Semitic sites to choke a Clydesdale;
- Several hundred GB (back when disk space wasn't cheap at all) of gay porn. It's bizarre only because the person that owned the PC was loud, virulently anti-gay. (Obviously, later, I realized he was one of those self-hating types -- he later did come out, but when I found the files it was a serious WTF moment. Especially since it was on a work pc.)
When you find evidence of a murder...[rebelmouse-image 18347502 is_animated_gif=
I've got a good story for this one. Not something I found on a customers computer so much as the events surrounding the situation. Years ago, in my consulting days, a customer brought in two desktops. They were covered in dirt; Inside, outside, everywhere. It looked like someone had literally shoveled dirt into them. He was pretty blunt about what happened: he said his wife had been having pretty explicit chat sessions with some guy on the internet.
In a rage, he took his and her computers out and buried them in the backyard. He then thought better about it and brought them to us in hopes of having them fixed. That was pretty much the last time we saw him. We cleaned both workstations up and actually managed to salvage them. They sat on the shelf for a good year and a half waiting for their owner to come pick them up, but he never came.
We eventually disposed of them since they had been there for a long time and repeated attempts to contact the guy had failed. One day, probably about 2 years after the guy showed up and 6 months after we had scrapped his pc's, a couple deputies from the local sheriff's office showed up with a warrant to seize his equipment; which we no longer had possession of. They were surprisingly unconcerned when I told them we didn't have it.
Turned out his wife had "disappeared" and when the guy was questioned about it he confessed to killing her. They found her buried in his backyard.
Ahhh, the pain Olympics.[rebelmouse-image 18347503 is_animated_gif=
From a friend who was working in a computer shop a few years ago. Guy had an issue with his computer running slow. My friend looks through it, discovered there's a fair number of movies (I hesitate to call it porn) on the guy's machine.
Oh yeah?[rebelmouse-image 18347505 is_animated_gif=
We once had a couple that came in. They were rude a**hats to us and completely whiny that their repair might take up to three days (we were a busy repair shop). The husband was the worst. He screamed at us that he ran a business and yaddayaddayadda. Anyway, we end up having to restore their computer because it's just riddled with infections and we want it up and running as quick as possible. They have 2 locked user accounts. Wife has... maybe 500mb of pictures and documents, mostly business related. Her husband? 320gigs in a secret folder named affectionately "gay porn." In the interest of time, when we set up their restored windows we set up just 1 user account: Admin. And dumped everything on the desktop.
Why tf would you store everythi... you know what it's best not to ask.[rebelmouse-image 18347506 is_animated_gif=
I learned that emptying the trash is a bad idea after working on the computer of a person who stored literally everything in Trash.
Just... how?![rebelmouse-image 18347507 is_animated_gif=
A guy who didn't speak English brought his computer into me. It wouldn't turn on. Like any regular repair tech, I popped open the side cover of his desktop to find a fried roach on his board. I'm not a squeamish person by any means so I pointed to it. Funny thing was, about 50 more crawled out of every nook and cranny on the board at that point. I slammed the cover back on and handed the PC back to him. He looked at me confused so all I could think to say was: "El fuego???????."
Is consultant-client privilege a thing? It certainly should be.[rebelmouse-image 18347508 is_animated_gif=
Work as a consultant, CEOs computer who we knew very well, was a client for years, beautiful wife and family. Mounds of gay porn. He used to bring in his computer at least once a month [due] to viruses. Every time we would back everything up and reformat. We always [put] the gay porn in a folder called "\__ stuff" in my documents. He knew we knew. We knew he knew we knew. Probably one of the reasons they were our client so long.
Pretty sure this counts as sexual harassment, but ok[rebelmouse-image 18347509 is_animated_gif=
I set up a webcam for a guy. The next day he brings it back in saying it never worked, except when I opened the webcam application there were about 25 stills of his junk, I also noticed when he came back in to get it he was wearing the same shirt he was wearing in the pics. Needless to say, the camera worked fine, I think he just wanted someone to see his junk.
Having a dope supportive partner is seriously a game changer, fam.
I'm not suggesting that a person can't achieve success without a relationship. Not at all. What I'm saying, is if you're going to choose to do a team project, it helps when your teammate doesn't suck.
But a moment of honesty - a lot of us have no idea what an amazing partner looks like. If relationships of obligation or convenience, are all you've ever seen, then how could you?
Amazing doesn't look like that at all.
Reddit user Sylva_Glow asked:
"People with an amazing partner, what makes them so amazing?"
Here's what people had to say.
"She is self aware."
"Says things like, 'I may have been being selfish', 'You have a good point', and 'I’m sorry'. I do the same and try to admit my faults, and stop on a dime in an argument and say 'I’m sorry, I’m being unreasonable, let’s back up'. "
"In essence we both are pretty good at admitting and accepting each other’s and our own frailties. It’s rare to be with a partner like that."
"Also, she has a hilarious laugh and sense of humor, and though she doesn’t feel so, she’s hilarious."
"This is huge, same with my wife an I. We can argue about a subject and politely disagree, but we both take turns listening to each other's opinions and 9/10 we both start cracking jokes."
"This is so vital. I'm so glad you found someone who does this with you."
Together CrankinessParks And Recreation Time GIFGiphy
"When we're both cranky for silly or small reasons, but we're cranky together, not at each other."
"It reminds me we're always partners, never adversaries."
"How do you achieve this together-crankiness? Sounds way better than being cranky at each other."
"I’m not the person you asked, and it certainly doesn’t work automatically with everyone, but in a relationship, every issue can be an 'us' issue. Even if it’s leaving the toilet seat up."
"If you have a complaint about your partner, think of it more as a discomfort you’re feeling that they can help you with, and approach it as a problem you can both solve together."
"Have an open and honest discussion about the disconnect and what you bring to the table that is causing the tension as well as what you could bring to help. Therapists often actually suggest visualizing it as sitting side by side at a table, looking at the problem on the table together."
"In hindsight I kinda talked about conflict resolution instead of 'together-crankiness' but it’s kind of the same thing."
"We’re all just doing the best we can with what we’ve got. If you’re cranky about something, let your partner in. Give them a seat on your side of the table and tell them that you’re cranky, why, and whether or not they can help and how."
"The best part about a loving relationship is feeling like you’re teamed up with someone against the world."
"Simple: because no matter what, I never doubt in my mind that he loves me more than anything."
"I never worry about him leaving/cheating on me. I can be my complete, authentic self around him. Even when we fight, I know it's just a temporary tiff that we'll talk about later when we've cooled down."
"But, most of all, I know that whatever he's doing or wherever he is, he'll always stop it to drive however far to come help me if I'm in a bad situation/mood."
"Not many people have a partner like that, so I'm sincerely grateful that I lucked out in finding mine 😇❤"
"This is really cute, happy for you :)"
"Yay! This is me and my partner too! I love to hear when people have found 'their person' too. Everyone should feel as cozy and loved by their partner as we do!"
"My husband is genuinely interested in everything I do, no matter how mundane it is."
"When I dragged him to 3 different stores to find a specific mascara, he asks about what makes it so great & then will geek out & read up about cosmetic formulations."
"When I told him a certain lip patch helped heal my cracked nipples from breastfeeding, he started reading up over other potential breastfeeding injuries & how people handle them."
"He doesn’t do it to lord his 'expertise' over me or anything, he’s genuinely excited to just ask me about everything."
"Oh & he started giving me daily massages when I was pregnant & I still get them now. Our daughter is 3."
Perfect MatchChefs Kiss Reaction GIF by Nick JonasGiphy
"The way he still looks at me."
"When I get out of the shower and there's lunch waiting for me."
"How some nights he wakes up in the middle of the night and pulls me closer to him because I've moved too far away or even when he pulls me closer in all situations."
"How he lays in bed with me every morning even though he'd rather go sit on the couch and wake up."
"The sacrifices he makes for me everyday."
"That he tries his best to make sure I am smiling. He's always there when I need him no matter the time or place. There are so many things that he does every day to let me know he loves me."
"Ah. He is just..a perfect match for me. We have our rough times and we get frustrated with each other, but he always treats me with kindness, respect, and love no matter what mood he is in."
"We always make sure to communicate our problems and at the end of most days we go to bed with a smile on our faces."
Charming Little Things
"Omg, I have a list of notes as to reasons why I love my boyfriend all saved up in my phone. Someday I'm going to gift them to him somehow."
"While the big things matter very much, like how our whole relationship he has helped and stuck by me thru a disability, it's also all the little things that matter every day."
"He prefers Onion Rings over French Fries. However, when we go out to eat together, he will pick fries as a side with his meal so he can share them with me since I don't like onion rings."
"In the mornings, he will block my hand with his so the dog can't lick my hand and wake me up."
"He sees when my phone charge is low and will bring me a charger even when I didn't realize it."
"Whenever he has the cheese out, he sets aside a slice for me."
"When he gets out of bed, he turns his pillow towards me knowing I'm going to steal it."
"If I pour myself more milk then I can finish, he drinks the rest so I don't feel bad about wasting it."
"I couldn't go out in the snow once, so he went out and drew hearts in the snow that I could see from the window."
"He'll sing songs to the pets, dance around the kitchen, squeak when he laughs, use the oven mitt like a dinosaur, and say "aww" while playing Animal Crossing."
"He sends me memes, and twirls the same piece of hair in the front of his head when he's distracted."
"He's amazing! I'm charmed by him every single day!"
Name That Tune
"I randomly whistle a 4-6 note tune while doing tasks."
"And lately she's been guessing them with about 60-70% success rate. It's cute when she tries hard and she lights up with this glow when she gets it right."
"No one gets me but her."
"Married in our teens and about to celebrate our 14 yr anniversary."
Meow90 Day Fiance Flirt GIF by TLC EuropeGiphy
"Accepting me for every. single. quirk."
"I was pretty pessimistic about relationships when we went on our first date so I am lucky that I have never faked one situation or personality or even had to present 'my best self.' "
"Small example - I had an ex that I thought was perfect for me. I'm a f*cking weirdo so once I meowed at him. He told me not to do that."
"I meow at my now fiancé and he meows right back."
"F*ck your ex. I can tell what my wife wants from the type and tone of her meows. My wife is very much human and yes, we are both weird."
"And yes, I do meow right back to her as well."
"Meowed at my partner today and he booped me. That’s when you know it’s real"
Her Brilliant Mind
"When I met her 30 years ago there was fierce physical attraction between both of us, but what won me over was her brilliant mind. She is the smartest person I have ever met."
"Quick witted, a great conversationalist, and turned out to be the best mother to our daughter that I could have ever asked for. She is very loving and caring and puts family before almost everything."
"Two years ago I lost my father to the delta variant of Covid-19. It was the worst experience of my life. I don't know what I would have done with her strength and support. I didn't think I would make it through the funeral, but having someone you trust completely walking with you step by step makes a huge difference."
"I hope you all have a partner as good as mine to share your lives with."
Just Do It
"My wife is just a go getter."
"She wanted to learn carpentry, so she did."
"Wanted a better job and she got it."
"When she wants to achieve something she just does."
"Mine rolled her eyes at me for wanting a macramé owl. I don't know why I wanted one, but I always did."
"Some people think they're tacky, and maybe they are."
"She's from a country that didn't have them. She never understood why I wanted one."
"Last year, in secret, she watched a bunch of YouTube videos, taught herself how to make a macramé owl and then made me one for our house and we put it up by the front door."
Well that was all painfully adorable.
What about you, dear readers? Do you have incredible amazing partners who show you how dope partnership can be?
Tell us about them!
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Have you ever gotten ready to do something that you think will only take a minute or two, but end up taking a lot longer?
Like when you try to print a paper at the library before class, only to find out several other students had the same idea. Or when you decide you can finish the Powerpoint for your work presentation during your lunch break, only to realize it needs to be way more in-depth than you first thought.
Chances are, you've been in this situation before. I certainly have! I can't even count the number of times I have given myself two minutes to microwave a meal only to realize my roommate needs it too (and got to it first) and I don't actually have the meal I planned to eat, meaning I need to spend some time figuring out what to eat instead.
Redditor hungrytiredandbored was curious about what other things take longer than they should, and asked:
"What always takes way longer than it should?"
As If Standing In Line Isn't Annoying Enough
"People buying lottery tickets ahead of you in line at the convenience store/gas station. 'What's number 5? Hmm... what's number 8? Okay, I'll take a number 13, and straight box on the daily 4.'
"They should have a separate line for that. It's so damn annoying."
Worst Printed Ever
"Printing a document on an HP printer."
"oh you'd like to print a document? You have to create an account with HP. Now let me tell you about our subscriptions services."
"HP. I don't want to create an account. Just make my printer work with my laptop and phone. This is why nobody over 40 owns a printer anymore. You make trash products, HP."
It's Not That Hard!
"Doing anything at the counter of the post office. I have no clue what takes everyone in front of me so...long..."
"Love when you go there to drop off one (1) pre-labelled package and the dude in front of you has never mailed a damn letter before and won't listen when the clerk tries to explain it to him. I hope they introduce self-service machines here at some point so I can just skip the entire thing."
Chew, Chew, Chew, Swallow
"My kids eating dinner. Just F**KING EAT IT."
– User deleted
"My 2 year old, an hour before dinner: I'M HUNGRY, I WANT SNACKS! SNAAAAAACK!"
"My 2 year old, with dinner on the table: I'M NOT HUNGRY / I DON'T WANT IT! GIMMIE PB&J!"
"My 2 year old, when it's time for bed: BUT I GOTTA EEEEEEAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTT!!!"
Not So Fast Food
"The fast food order of the car in front of me. This menu hasn’t changed in years - what could you possibly be talking about? Do you know the person taking orders? Is this a personal conversation? Did you not know what you wanted to eat before pulling into the line?"
The Longest Line On Earth
"The DMV. I'm 37 years old and somehow I STILL haven't learned it's never a quick in and out."
"Im 26 and have been on line for 32 years"
"Standing at the door waving your in-laws goodbye"
"My family will be like, "Ok well we should probably go" then immediately stand up, gather their sh*t, thank us for having them over, and leave."
"My in-laws say they should probably leave soon, start a conversation about something, ask if I can take a look at a laptop that isn't working, etc - 45 minutes later their putting their shoes on to go."
"Like, if you're going to stay - then stay, that's totally fine. But I hate waiting in limbo to see if they are going or not. It's unsettling."
No Such Thing As A Quick Meal
"Meal prep. I often underestimate how long will take to make dinner by 50+%."
"I came here to say this. Recipe says prep will take 15 minutes, actually takes 45. 30-minute meal? Definitely over an hour."
Just Need A Bit Of Cash
"People at ATM booths"
"Yup. If you're in a hurry and just need to take out a twenty guarunteed the person in front of you is a 70 year old who is apparently using the ATM to put a second mortgage on their house"
Get Me Out Of Here!
"Getting away from an unwanted conversation."
"I've Uh'huh'd 5 times and am looking at the door. Take the hint."
Life is a journey, and slow and steady wins the race. Of course, all the clichés in the world don't change the fact that some things should go quickly but don't.
You can't always make things move faster, but you can control how you react to the low speed. If we learn how to cope, we may just find a little more zen.
It's a fact of life that people can be brutal. Whether it's because a person is downright cruel or because he or she is drunk or angry, they can say some awful things.
My Indian aunt once mistakenly thought a cousin of mine was my daughter and told me American teenagers were trashy and stupid. I don't talk to that aunt anymore...
There is never an excuse to be that cruel, but that doesn't stop people from behaving that way.
Curious about this, Redditor Brilliant-End9428 asked:
"What is the most f*cked up thing someone said to you?"
No Excuse For Cruelty
"Mum's (59) boyfriend got mega drunk a few weeks back, told her that he was "only with her because he pitied her""
"Drunk or not, she wasn't having that. Back to being single."
Worst SIL Ever
"My sister-in-law was joking about how there aren't any male children that will "carry on the family name" when she knows full well that I lost my son at birth."
Wrong Reason To Have A Child
""You were our last attempt to save the marriage""
"Thanks, mom. Glad to know I was a failure straight out of the gate."
""You're too ugly to buy ice cream from." - Some b**ch to me @ 15"
Undeserving Of Being A Father
"When I was 11 my father (who I hadn't seen in 5 years b/c of divorce) showed up at a family Christmas and calmly asked me to not call him 'dad' b/c his new kids didn't know I existed."
Grandmas Shouldn't Have Favorites
"I was 7 or 8 and I told my grandmother I wanted to be a doctor when I grew up. She told me I would never be smart enough and that I'd be lucky to one day be my cousin's house cleaner."
"My cousin was her favorite grandchild."
"I'm 32 and I still remember it so vividly."
"I hope you realize I'm only using you for your money"
No Good Reason For Saying This
"My grandmother and grandfather told 7yr old me if my mom kills herself and my dad dies in Afghanistan they would rather see me rot on the streets than taking me in"
That's Not How It Works
"Just dont be depressed. Like bro..."
No matter who it was that said something that cruel to you, know that you deserve better (and that it might be time to cut someone out of your life).
Communication isn't always easy. Sometimes, you say something you didn't mean to say, whether it's because a joke you made fell flat, or someone overheard something they weren't supposed to hear. And some people are just plain careless.
However, mean comments they make can be explained away and are usually followed by an apology.
Of course, some people are just plain nasty and want to deliver an insult that will shake you to your very core. The things people say to you can be mean, hurtful, and sometimes even soul-crushing.
Redditor Embarrassed-Host-949 was curious about the most soul-crushing thing Reddit users have ever heard someone say, and asked:
"What was the most soul crushing thing someone told you or you heard?"
One Daughter Over Another
"My dad and step mom adopted a baby girl, and my step sister overheard my dad talking about how excited he is to adopt a girl because he’s never had a daughter"
"Absolutely crushed my step sister, she thought of my dad like her own father. He’s been all she’s known."
"My husband and I took our teenage son and his friend (I’ll call him Alex) to an amusement park recently."
"My husband is a really funny guy and was making both boys laugh on the car ride home."
"Alex told my husband, “You’re really funny, Mr. D! You remind me of my Dad, except your jokes aren’t hurtful.”"
""My family just gave up on me.""
"-A 10-year-old that just got the news they had been unadopted by their family of the last 5 years."
""How can she be my wife? I have no idea who she is. " said my husband of 8 years after a bad car wreck and 4 weeks in a coma. He lost about 12 years of memories. Including our whole relationship. We got divorced 2 years after as his memory never returned."
Maybe This Mother Shouldn't Have Been A Mother
"My mum once told me “You wouldn’t be a very good mother, your sister would be much better”. I always loved and worked with children, my sister is more of an animal person. It crushed me because I always dreamed of being a mother and I still think about that comment made years ago when my boyfriend brings up the children topic."
All Work And No Play
"I saw a documentary.... I don't even recall what it was about, but they were focusing on this family in a rural part of eastern Europe or southern Asia. There was a little girl in this family and all she did was work. She couldn't go to school, and she just assisted her mother in doing all the necessary drudgery around the house."
"One of the film makers asked the girl what her secret dream was."
"She said, "To play.""
The Wrong Response To A Loss
"My (now ex) wife and I had just lost our unborn daughter at 22 weeks and my (now ex) best-friend offered her thoughts: “You wouldn’t want a baby that obviously had issues to begin with. God doesn’t make mistakes.”"
"I’ll leave it at that."
"When my grandpa told me I wasn’t good enough. I was always never a girly girl but not quite a tomboy. I was really close to him but he was old school. As I grew up he started to realize that I wasn’t changing in the right way. He kept telling me to use my lady voice, to sit ladylike, eat lady like, and do ladylike things. He had enough when he saw me with my animals being not gentle when they were stubborn and getting dirty and liking it. He got mad and yelled at me after when no one was around. It hurt because always thought he would love me no matter what then I found out that there were conditions to his love."
Love All Your Kids Equally
""Mom and Dad have been telling people they only have two kids" from my sister. They have three kids. All because I didn't go to the religious college they wanted me to go to"
"My dad is a pastor and he's always treated me differently. He used to say from the pulpit while preaching, "I have 2 kids I'm proud of...""
"He has 3 children, but he wasn't lying."
Not A True Friend
"When I was ten years old, one of my friends at School, told me If I died he wouldn't go to my funeral. That still hurts 20 years later."
People can be cruel, and sometimes you will have to hear the worst of insults. The important thing is how you react.
Remember that few people are evil enough to bluntly say the negative thoughts that roam around in their head, and people who are that cruel don't deserve the time of day.