Computer Technicians Share The Most Bizarre Things They've Found On A Customer's Computer

Computer Technicians Share The Most Bizarre Things They've Found On A Customer's Computer

[rebelmouse-image 18347491 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Ever wonder what the weirdest things computer technicians stumble across on a client's computer?

HeiroglyphicFad asked, Computer technicians what's the most bizarre thing that you have found on a customers computer?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.

Apparently, he was f_cking serious.

[rebelmouse-image 18344959 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I have a buddy who works IT. One of the best stories he has ever shared was about a person who didn't know there was an eject button for floppy disks and ended up pouring liquid butter into the disk drive so that he could lubricate it enough to rip it out with a pair of pliers. As the guy was explaining all this, my friend snatched the floppy from his hand and popped it into the drive. The guy immediately started freaking out since it took him like two hours to pry the fucker out. My friend just hit the eject button and stood there holding the floppy disk right in front of his face as the guy looked back and forth between the disk and the computer like "...Are you f_cking serious?"

Important, quality content.

[rebelmouse-image 18347492 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

User departing the firm, recent manager in her late twenties, asks to retrieve her personal images. She traveled a lot to tropical places and had an entire folder dedicated to candid photos of guys in swimsuits.

Laptops + rain = fail.

[rebelmouse-image 18347493 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I do IT support for a school and had a teacher call me one day as 17 of the Laptops the students use all stopped working at the same time, the teacher claimed that we must have rolled out an update that had broken all the machines so was irate that we fix what we did now!! As she couldn't teach without them.

Only when I got ahold of the Laptops which did I learn the teacher had them all working outside on a rainy day studying weather etc.

To each their own I suppose.

[rebelmouse-image 18347494 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Soooooo much hentai. Hentai desktop, hentai videos, hentai games, hentai manga, hentai pictures. He brought it in because he thought he had a virus. I was polite and didn't really react or say anything when I first saw the desktop wallpaper. I still can't believe somebody can be so nonchalant about such a massive porn collection.

This is just impressive.

[rebelmouse-image 18347495 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

This was back in the late '90s and the dude had a folder marked "Jerks, Douchebags, and A**holes" so I had some free time and investigated. He literally kept files on every piece of celebrity misconduct he unearthed. Thanks to him, I learned John Lennon beat his wife way ahead of everyone else.

Mud. In a laptop that supposedly treated normally. Okurrrr

[rebelmouse-image 18347496 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Mud. A student brought in a laptop that wouldn't power on. I removed the bottom of the laptop and found a thin layer of mud in it. The student couldn't provide any explanation as to why it was there of course, because she swore she treated just as she was supposed to.

Grab the Purell...

[rebelmouse-image 18347497 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

One of my older customers had a saved bookmark for 'Dungeon porn'. The laptop was always overly greasy. Went through a bottle of hand sanitizer every time I delt with him


[rebelmouse-image 18347499 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

The absolute worst was when I was at my first job. I was around 16 and worked with an older 21-year-old girl who was teaching me a lot. One day a customer walks in with an old PC that looked heavy, I took it to the back of the store and went back to the customer to ask a few questions when we suddenly hear my coworker scream really loud. There was a cockroach but it didn't look normal, look up a Madagascar cockroach and ugh, disgusting thing but whatever killed it and moved on with work. A few minutes later there was another one but we couldn't figure out where they were coming from until we opened the PC and we found it infested, there was this huge nest of them...

Still have nightmares about it, disgusting.

I'd have cut it off at the dolls. Creeper level: Jedi.

[rebelmouse-image 18347501 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

  1. Thousands of photographs of creepy dolls. Like, tens of thousands, and of different creepy dolls;
  2. Hundreds of tiny postage-stamp sized pictures of women's toes. (Assuming female toes; they all had scarlet-red toenail polish.)r;
  3. Enough bookmarks to white supremacy and anti-Semitic sites to choke a Clydesdale;
  4. Several hundred GB (back when disk space wasn't cheap at all) of gay porn. It's bizarre only because the person that owned the PC was loud, virulently anti-gay. (Obviously, later, I realized he was one of those self-hating types -- he later did come out, but when I found the files it was a serious WTF moment. Especially since it was on a work pc.)

When you find evidence of a murder...

[rebelmouse-image 18347502 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I've got a good story for this one. Not something I found on a customers computer so much as the events surrounding the situation. Years ago, in my consulting days, a customer brought in two desktops. They were covered in dirt; Inside, outside, everywhere. It looked like someone had literally shoveled dirt into them. He was pretty blunt about what happened: he said his wife had been having pretty explicit chat sessions with some guy on the internet.

In a rage, he took his and her computers out and buried them in the backyard. He then thought better about it and brought them to us in hopes of having them fixed. That was pretty much the last time we saw him. We cleaned both workstations up and actually managed to salvage them. They sat on the shelf for a good year and a half waiting for their owner to come pick them up, but he never came.

We eventually disposed of them since they had been there for a long time and repeated attempts to contact the guy had failed. One day, probably about 2 years after the guy showed up and 6 months after we had scrapped his pc's, a couple deputies from the local sheriff's office showed up with a warrant to seize his equipment; which we no longer had possession of. They were surprisingly unconcerned when I told them we didn't have it.

Turned out his wife had "disappeared" and when the guy was questioned about it he confessed to killing her. They found her buried in his backyard.

Ahhh, the pain Olympics.

[rebelmouse-image 18347503 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

From a friend who was working in a computer shop a few years ago. Guy had an issue with his computer running slow. My friend looks through it, discovered there's a fair number of movies (I hesitate to call it porn) on the guy's machine.

Oh yeah?

[rebelmouse-image 18347505 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

We once had a couple that came in. They were rude a**hats to us and completely whiny that their repair might take up to three days (we were a busy repair shop). The husband was the worst. He screamed at us that he ran a business and yaddayaddayadda. Anyway, we end up having to restore their computer because it's just riddled with infections and we want it up and running as quick as possible. They have 2 locked user accounts. Wife has... maybe 500mb of pictures and documents, mostly business related. Her husband? 320gigs in a secret folder named affectionately "gay porn." In the interest of time, when we set up their restored windows we set up just 1 user account: Admin. And dumped everything on the desktop.

Why tf would you store everythi... you know what it's best not to ask.

[rebelmouse-image 18347506 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I learned that emptying the trash is a bad idea after working on the computer of a person who stored literally everything in Trash.

Just... how?!

[rebelmouse-image 18347507 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

A guy who didn't speak English brought his computer into me. It wouldn't turn on. Like any regular repair tech, I popped open the side cover of his desktop to find a fried roach on his board. I'm not a squeamish person by any means so I pointed to it. Funny thing was, about 50 more crawled out of every nook and cranny on the board at that point. I slammed the cover back on and handed the PC back to him. He looked at me confused so all I could think to say was: "El fuego???????."

Is consultant-client privilege a thing? It certainly should be.

[rebelmouse-image 18347508 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Work as a consultant, CEOs computer who we knew very well, was a client for years, beautiful wife and family. Mounds of gay porn. He used to bring in his computer at least once a month [due] to viruses. Every time we would back everything up and reformat. We always [put] the gay porn in a folder called "\__ stuff" in my documents. He knew we knew. We knew he knew we knew. Probably one of the reasons they were our client so long.

Pretty sure this counts as sexual harassment, but ok

[rebelmouse-image 18347509 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I set up a webcam for a guy. The next day he brings it back in saying it never worked, except when I opened the webcam application there were about 25 stills of his junk, I also noticed when he came back in to get it he was wearing the same shirt he was wearing in the pics. Needless to say, the camera worked fine, I think he just wanted someone to see his junk.

People Divulge What Makes Their Significant Other So Amazing
Maya GM/Unsplash

Having a dope supportive partner is seriously a game changer, fam.

I'm not suggesting that a person can't achieve success without a relationship. Not at all. What I'm saying, is if you're going to choose to do a team project, it helps when your teammate doesn't suck.

But a moment of honesty - a lot of us have no idea what an amazing partner looks like. If relationships of obligation or convenience, are all you've ever seen, then how could you?

Amazing doesn't look like that at all.

Keep reading...Show less
People Break Down Which Things Always Take Way Longer Than They Should
Photo by Aron Visuals on Unsplash

Have you ever gotten ready to do something that you think will only take a minute or two, but end up taking a lot longer?

Like when you try to print a paper at the library before class, only to find out several other students had the same idea. Or when you decide you can finish the Powerpoint for your work presentation during your lunch break, only to realize it needs to be way more in-depth than you first thought.

Chances are, you've been in this situation before. I certainly have! I can't even count the number of times I have given myself two minutes to microwave a meal only to realize my roommate needs it too (and got to it first) and I don't actually have the meal I planned to eat, meaning I need to spend some time figuring out what to eat instead.

Redditor hungrytiredandbored was curious about what other things take longer than they should, and asked:

"What always takes way longer than it should?"
Keep reading...Show less
People Break Down The Most F**ked Up Thing Someone's Ever Said To Them
Photo by Tom Pumford on Unsplash

It's a fact of life that people can be brutal. Whether it's because a person is downright cruel or because he or she is drunk or angry, they can say some awful things.

My Indian aunt once mistakenly thought a cousin of mine was my daughter and told me American teenagers were trashy and stupid. I don't talk to that aunt anymore...

There is never an excuse to be that cruel, but that doesn't stop people from behaving that way.

Curious about this, Redditor Brilliant-End9428 asked:

"What is the most f*cked up thing someone said to you?"
Keep reading...Show less
People Confess The Most Soul-Crushing Thing Someone's Ever Told Them
Photo by Anh Nguyen on Unsplash

Communication isn't always easy. Sometimes, you say something you didn't mean to say, whether it's because a joke you made fell flat, or someone overheard something they weren't supposed to hear. And some people are just plain careless.

However, mean comments they make can be explained away and are usually followed by an apology.

Of course, some people are just plain nasty and want to deliver an insult that will shake you to your very core. The things people say to you can be mean, hurtful, and sometimes even soul-crushing.

Redditor Embarrassed-Host-949 was curious about the most soul-crushing thing Reddit users have ever heard someone say, and asked:

"What was the most soul crushing thing someone told you or you heard?"
Keep reading...Show less