Kids Reveal The Most Dad Thing Their Fathers Have Ever Done

[rebelmouse-image 18347451 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Dad jokes are having their well-deserved moment in the sun right now. The wholesome, corny, giggles that only dads can provide are just the kind of thing we all need right now. One reddit user asked:

What is the daddest thing your dad has done or said?

The responses were a master class in cheesiness and commitment to a joke. To the dads about to rock puns, we salute you. Here were some of our favorite lame and loveable dads.

Swishy Pants

[rebelmouse-image 18347452 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Mine wears Swishy Pants. Like, I could probably count on one hand the amount of times I've seen him in something else in the last five years and two of those times were funerals. The swishy athletic pants, an inexplicably beat-up pair of New Balance sneakers (he literally just bought them, how do they look like that already??) and a jacket with a (insert name of local sports teams) logo. Oh, and a baseball cap. He has one for our hometown team, and all four of our major regional sports teams' various championship years.

"They Didn't Say"

[rebelmouse-image 18347453 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

My dad picks up the phone and answers "Hello...?" before taking a long pause. His expression widens and grows very worried and surprised. My sister and I are already fucking baited and hooked.

"You don't say..." He says, with a light gasp. "You dont say!?". My sister and I are trembling at this point with curiosity.

He then clears his throat "Well, okay then... goodbye" before hanging up.

In unison, my sister and I ask "Who was it?!"

"He didn't say..."

Hunting And Gathering

[rebelmouse-image 18347454 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

**"I have hunted and gathered and I have returned victorious!" **... Yes Dad, I'm sure ordering pizza was quite the ordeal.

My Newt

[rebelmouse-image 18347456 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Cleaning out the massive pond they have in their garden, he comes in all wellie'd up holding a small newt is his hand and scares my mum with it.

"What the HELL are you doing?!"

"Just showing you we have newts in the pond. It's a sign of a healthy pond, look at him, he's so cute. I'm going to call him 'Tiny' I think."

"What? What a rubbish name, why?"

Then he goes for the pun on the word "minute" like super small and goes:

"Because he's my newt."

Oh the dad jokes were strong that day, many eyes were rolled and groans were had. I chuckled and felt ashamed.

Lady Gaga

[rebelmouse-image 18347457 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Lady Gaga's "Poker Face" came on in the car when he was driving me somewhere and he poked my face multiple times during the "Popopopopopo popopoker face" parts.

He also loves Lowes and Home Depot.

Bagel Shop Contest

[rebelmouse-image 18347458 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I was at my local bagel shop with a friend and a we needed a dad joke for a contest they were having so I texted him asking for a dad joke and he responds with:

"A fish swims into a wall and says dam."

Proud Of A Pun

[rebelmouse-image 18347460 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

My dad got into a terrible accident where his foot became severed and was only hanging on to him by a flap of skin.

There was no way to re-attach the foot while retaining full mobility. If the foot would be re-attached, his ankle bones would have to be fused together, making it impossible for him to bend his ankle. The nerves would be pinched and he would be in a lot of pain. Every doctor he spoke to recommended amputation.

"No," my dad stubbornly said, "I've grown attached to my foot."

And that is the story of how my dad has been living in daily pain for almost two decades because he was proud of a pun.

Al Pacino

[rebelmouse-image 18347461 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I was on the phone with my mother talking about wanting a frappucino and my dad busted in the room like "what about Al Pacino?"

The Gang Way

[rebelmouse-image 18345811 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Not my dad, but I kinda wish he was.

My husband and I were on a cruise this past New Years and the captain came over the intercom with instructions on how to exit the ship. He said something about the "gangway" and the kids next to us asked their dad what the gangway was.

"You can't explain the gang way. You just live the gang way."

The kids looked confused but my husband and I were cracking up.

Hanson

[rebelmouse-image 18347462 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Couple of years ago I got stuck at train station when buses from station were cancelled.

Called Dad to ask for a lift, I'm standing in the waiting pick up bay with tons of other people in the same situation, Dad drives up with MMMBOP blaring out of the car speaker system.

A Bath Towel And A Loaded Gun

[rebelmouse-image 18347464 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

After reading all these replies I think my dad is crazy... I remember him screaming from inside my closet "POWER TOOLS" then seeing a drill bit go through the door. Or when I saw him in our front yard in this dying pine tree pouring gasoline down the truck from his unsafe perch in the top few branches. And most recently... I had texted him that there was a possum on the porch (I had just gotten home from work it as like 11pm) and he comes out wearing just a towel and asks me where it went. I said it's under the porch and he goes inside and comes back out still in a bath towel with a .22 in hand laughing like a madman.

I love my father.

Buzz Cut

[rebelmouse-image 18347465 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

My Dad has long hair, whenever he is in a long line of people he likes to wait until the person behind him complains so he can turn around and say "Tell me about it, I had a buzz cut when I got here."

Overboard

[rebelmouse-image 18347466 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Its just a really typical dad thing to take their hobbies overboard.

If he brews beer he wants a full brewery setup in the basement. If he likes fish he wants a 500 gallon saltwater zoo exhibit. If he likes to grill he wants the brand new Weber Genesis 4-Burner.

Personally my dad was into high end audio equipment. My basement was completely acoustically dead, he had interconnects worth more than my bike, I wasnt allowed within like 2 feet of the stereo.

My husband's dad went to the hardware store for a saw to cut down a couple small trees. Came home with a chainsaw that was the most expensive they sold, and that they actually warned him against buying since it was generally only used by professional lumberjacks.

Next time I visit, he pulls me outside to his brand new grill that cost as much as some cars. He looked at me, took a long sip of wine and said:

"This is the grill I don't ever have to worry about again."

A Guy Named Cliff

[rebelmouse-image 18347468 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Dad (to screaming sister in the back seat): "If you don't stop yelling I'm going to drive this car off a cliff!"

Brother: "Dad, there are no cliffs in this town."

Dad: "I'm sure there's a guy named Cliff somewhere in this town!"

The Baker

[rebelmouse-image 18347469 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

My dad is a baker. We were walking in a busy area on a family outing, we are passing this really short guy, and my dad says:

**"Haha that guy needs some yeast" **

It was so bad it was funny...

Has A Mustache

[rebelmouse-image 18347470 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

He wears socks with sandals. Has a mustache. Starts a lot of conversations with:

"I'm not paying for anything."

Hot Dog Hand

[rebelmouse-image 18347471 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

My dad called me to ask if i wanted to eat a hot dog. I said no.

Later he comes home, and i see my room door open slightly. Only his hand slips into my room with a hotdog container. He leaves it on my desk thats right by the door, hand slips out, and the door closes.

It was so quiet. So quick lmao.

Oh and the door opened slightly again for a moment for him to slip some ketchup packets onto the desk too.

Cashiers Cringe

[rebelmouse-image 18347476 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Makes cringey comments to the cashier like:

Cashier: your total is $202.76

Dad: Easy for you to say!

Grandpa

[rebelmouse-image 18347477 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

My grandpa once asked me what I was up to. I casually replied:

**"Not much, what are you up to?" **

He said: **"Oh, about 5'9" **

The Waitress

[rebelmouse-image 18347478 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

When we're out to eat, after he finishes his food, the waitress asks if he enjoyed his meal. My dad with empty plate in front of him:

"Oh, no, we didn't like it at all!"

Every. Single. Time. Help.

H/T: Reddit

People Divulge The Work-Related Accidents That Haunt Them To This Day
Monty Rakusen/GettyImages

Depending on the job, non-office employees work tirelessly to push through with their physically-demanding tasks despite their fatigue to earn that paycheck.

But in their exhaustion, judgments can be impaired and exhausted workers can be vulnerable to workplace hazards.

And when an accident occurs while on company property, it's a devastating predicament that can have long-term effects.

Keep reading...Show less
People Explain Which Things Would Be Better If They Were Slightly Shorter
Krists Luhaers/Unsplash

They say you can never have enough of a good thing, but we all know there's plenty of stuff that you'd like to just go, "Oh, no thank you" about and that would be that.

Unfortunately, that pretty much never actually works.

Try telling the electric company "no thanks" when the way too high bill comes, or just putting up a hand to decline work for the next week or so because you're just kind of over it.

Consequences and repercussions, folks. But you've got to admit some stuff would just be better if it was... less.

Keep reading...Show less

Life is a mystery full of mysteries.

Some we'll finally get, some will stay a conundrum forever.

Sometimes no matter how much we study or agonize over a piece of information, it just doesn't click.

But that's okay, we're all here to commiserate.

Keep reading...Show less
People Break Down How Attractive They Believe They Are
Photo by Andre Mouton on Unsplash

Beauty.

We all want to attain it.

Some people dedicate their lives to having it.

But who can say what is and is not attractive?

The older you get, the more serious and realistic you get with the topic.

And grapple with whether it really matters.

Keep reading...Show less