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George H. Takei

George H. Takei

Clever People Imagine How A Make-A-Curse Foundation Would Get Revenge On Their Enemies

You know how the Make-A-Wish Foundation helps less fortunate children? The Make-A-Curse Foundation would exact revenge on your enemies. For a nominal fee, someone will curse an unfortunate soul of your choosing - and the hex lasts forever.

Imagine cursing someone with an itch that can't be scratched, or giving the terrifying gift of unlimited, universal empathy. Here's what Reddit had to offer

mrsam12000 asked, The Make-A-Curse Foundation grants evil services short of murder for terminally ill adults. What last act of revenge would you request for your enemy?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, or profanity.

This is the worst.

Giphy

Whenever they sleep, they dream of being at work.

BonerKill64

This is dark.

Giphy

Unfiltered empathy for everyone and everything.

guard_press

Come on we're eating here.

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Someone asks them a question any time they take a bite or sip of something.

aedroogo

It's your job to carry out the curses.

Giphy

They have to work for the Make-A-Curse Foundation having to inflict all of this and ensure it all works.

Hammelj

And life loses all meaning.

Giphy

Their pasta sauce will never cling to their spaghetti.

theconfuserx2

I used to hear phantom bangs when I'd fall asleep.

Giphy

As soon as they fall asleep at night they will be startled awake by a loud scream from inside their home and only they will be able to hear it.

phatblackdude

A paradox for the ages.

Giphy

Get the biggest boner in the most awkward and humiliating situations and only get a half boner when they actually want one.

tobiderfisch

Sounds like a typical day.

Giphy

All critical emails, mail and other indirect correspondence simply wouldn't reach their intended recipients. Mundane stuff would go through as usual though so rather than being able to identify the curse, the target would merely feel alone and ignored in the world.

snave_

So just... normal internet.

Giphy

Their internet connection will disconnect at random. Also when they are going to watch a video, their connection will be slowed so the video stops to buffer often.

PM-ME_SMALL-BOOBS

I'm itchy just reading this.

Giphy

An itch down at the bone that moves through their body in varying intensities.

It can never be scratched properly and it can't be adjusted for. Just a constant itch ranging from inconvenience to straight up agony.

LilithTheSly

make-a-curse foundation

People Are Roasting Trump Over His Mind-Numbing Observation About The Wetness Of Water 😂

People Are Roasting Trump Over His Mind-Numbing Observation About The Wetness Of Water 😂
@realDonaldTrump/Twitter, @)imawoodelf/Twitter

Donald Trump thanked the first responders who came to the aid of victims of Hurricane Florence. The storm devastated portions of North Carolina, dumping massive amounts of rain and damaging millions of dollars in property. Many natural areas were destroyed, some farmers lost everything and more than a few people have been left homeless. The first responders after this massive storm were literal life savers, and Trump was absolutely right to thank them. Unfortunately, the sentiment of his message was lost for many people because he didn't seem to put any effort or preparation into what he was saying. Then, in the middle of his off-the-cuff message, he confused everyone by talking about the wetness of water.

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Kenan Thompson Just Hit The Ice With Other 'Mighty Ducks' Cast Members, And The Nostalgia Is Real Y'all 😍

Kenan Thompson Just Hit The Ice With Other 'Mighty Ducks' Cast Members, And The Nostalgia Is Real Y'all 😍
Walt Disney Picture

A mini-reunion took place over the weekend, as actors from the Mighty Ducks film series met up at an ice rink in upstate New York. Afterwards, they attended an Anaheim Duck's game.

The nostalgia-fest started with Danny Tamberelli, who played Tommy Duncan in the first film, posting photos of the group to his Instagram.

They wore recreations of the bright green jerseys the team wore in the movie.



Watching them, you can almost hear the whine of your old VHS player.






He was joined by Kenan Thompson, Vincent LaRusso, Colombe Jacobsen-Derstine, and Garette Ratliff Henson. All five acted in at least one of the Mighty Ducks movies.

After the fun of skating around the ice rink, the group switched jerseys to the more modern Anaheim Ducks design. They wore personalized jerseys with the names of their characters on the back.

The Anaheim Ducks account posted about it on Twitter.


People were tagging their friends to let them know!




The group got to watch a game the actual sports team started because of the popularity of their movie, played on Sunday against the New York Islanders.

The original film starred Emilio Estevez as Gordon Bombay, a lawyer charged with drunk driving, who has to perform 500 hours of community service. Because of his background as a child hockey star, Bombay is ordered to coach a peewee hockey team. While initially reluctant, he guides the misfits to victory.

Danny Tamberelli, Garette Ratliff Henson, and Vincent LaRusso starred in the first film, while Kenan Thompson and Colombe Jaconsen-Derstine were in the second.

It's unknown at this time why the group reunited, though some are speculating for a Superbowl commercial.

But we have to ask the real questions here.



The Kids From 'Stranger Things' Wrapped Presents For Superfans—And Did A Delightfully Terrible Job 😂

The Kids From 'Stranger Things' Wrapped Presents For Superfans—And Did A Delightfully Terrible Job 😂
Netflix: Stranger Things

When it comes to giving gifts, not all celebrities are as crafty as Taylor Swift, but that didn't stop the adorable stars of Netflix's Stranger Thingsfrom giving it a try.

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Macaulay Culkin Is Having Fans Vote On What He Should Legally Change His Name To—And The Options Are Bizarre 😮

Macaulay Culkin Is Having Fans Vote On What He Should Legally Change His Name To—And The Options Are Bizarre 😮
Andrew Lipovsky/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images

Have you ever wanted to help your favorite celebrity reach their potential by giving them a new name? Fans of Macaulay Culkin will be able to do just that, as he's allowing them to vote and pick his new middle name.

The choices are beyond strange.

In a segment on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, Culkin announced his desire to change his middle name to something else. He allowed people to submit names for the last month, and narrowed those down to the top five.

Some of the suggestions were interesting, to say the least.





The official choices: Shark Week, The McRib Is Back, Kieran (submitted by his famous younger brother), Macaulay Culkin, and Publicity Stunt. That last one was suggested by Culkin's girlfriend, actress Brenda Song, and gives away the game.

Fans are still excited to vote for his new name.







This is all a publicity stunt to drive traffic to Culkin's website, Bunny Ears, launched earlier this year in March. The site bills itself as a lifestyle and holistic health brand, similar to Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop. However, the articles are jokes or satirical.

Good luck finding the site if you tried to go there right after the Fallon segment.

With articles like "A Tour Guide Of The Places Where Men Have Dumped Me" in their 'Travel Guides' section, or "Meditative Things White People Can Do While Black People Attempt To Explain White Privilege" under 'Spiritual Wellness,' it's difficult to imagine the site is wanting for traffic.

Time will tell what Culkin's new middle name will be, but as of this writing, it's looking like he'll be known as Macaulay Macaulay Culkin Culkin. Which is a shame, because Macaulay Shark Week Culkin had such a nice ring to it.

H/T: Huffington Post, Bunny Ears