I have always wondered what it must be like to be a driver. You hear all the good gossip. That's why when I'm in a cab or an Uber I talk quietly, just in case. You know someone is always listening. So beware when you are spilling your tea. You know working "behind the wheel" is a fascinating place.Redditor u/Cicallis wanted to get the scolding hot tea from drivers out there by asking... Chauffeurs who drive around rich people, what are some of the weird/shocking conversations you have overheard?
When I do an an Uber share I am always amazed by what people are willing to let people overhear. Like, do you not know you're still in public when in a car with strangers? I keep it jovial and not personal. Let's see what else our driver's witness...
Oh Billy...billy bob thornton christmas movies GIF Giphy
Billy Bob Thornton was doing radio press for a movie about to come out, meaning he had to stop by 6-7 radio stations for interviews.
He wanted to have a cigarette in the vehicle on the way to the next interview but I had to let him know our company has a no smoking policy in our vehicles.
He asked me to call the owner to make an exception but the owner said no and its a $250 cleaning fee if he smoked in the vehicle.
He asked to stop by a bank, Came out and handed me $5,000 cash and said "here's for the whole Goddam pack."
He smoked in the car the rest of the trip. Later I got up the nerve to ask him if that's the most expensive pack of cigarettes he's ever smoked? All he said was "not even close" (never explained it further)
I think about him often...
In the 80's!
Picked up a wedding party: bride, bridesmaid, and bride's boyfriend who was paying for the wedding. They had a magnum of champagne and we drove around for quite some doing drugs in the back. They were using rolled up $50s and $20s, then tossing them to me in the front seat as tip money.
I dutifully brushed off each bill and added them to my wallet, pretending not to know what was going on.
The "couple" argued off and on about showing up to the wedding, apparently she felt weird about getting married and he was trying to convince her it was a good idea.
Finally dropped them off at the church and he slipped me a matchbook with his name and number written on it.
Yeah, it was the late 80s and I was a young woman, one of the only female limo drivers at the time in that city. Scored a sweet leather jacket with the tips from that night.
So many weird stories.
Reddit Users Share Their Best 'It's A Small World After All' Experience
When we were in high school, my friend used to caddy at a local country club. One guy really liked him and asked if he would be willing to drive him around while he went out partying (this was like 2003 and in a pretty rural area), my friend agreed.
He picked the guy up at like 8pm. Right off the bat, the guy handed him $200. He went to a bar for a little bit, my friend sat in the car.
The guy came out, handed him another $200 and told him he had to visit his "friend" real quick. He went and got a bunch of drugs.
They went to another bar, he handed my friend another hundred dollars and told him to look out the window and turn up the radio.
He came out a couple hours later with a girl (he was married with kids). He handed my friend another $200 and they went back to her house. After they screwed around, he came out and asked to be taken to the beach.
At this point it was like 2-3am. My friend said that the guy slowly walked around the beach, went into the water up to his ankles (in his shoes), threw a bunch of rocks into the water and then sat in the sand for about 45 minutes.
He came back to the car and asked to be driven home. When they got out of the car he hugged my friend and gave him $500 and asked him to never tell anyone what happened.
Have you seen Marie Osmond?
Friend of mine worked for an upscale concierge chauffeur service. His most memorable moment came when he lost Marie Osmond. Fairly simple gig, go to airport and pick up Marie Osmond, who was to be the featured entertainer at a private event.
Plane comes in, he meets her, she has carryon bag but her checked suitcase, containing her stage dresses and makeup, is missing.
She is unflappable, though... asks to be taken to the nearest upscale mall. He does as instructed, she goes into a large upscale department store, selects two long sequined cocktail dresses and goes to the fitting room to try them on (without him, of course).
Unfortunately, there are two entrances and exits to the fitting room, and Marie Osmond exits out through the other side and cannot find my chauffeur buddy, who is waiting patiently on the side she'd entered... 20 minutes passes. He thinks something has gone wrong, so he grabs a female manager and asks her to go into the fitting rooms and ask for Marie Osmond. The manager thinks she is being pranked and declines.
Chauffeur buddy is in mini-panic mode now, running wildly around the store asking random customers "Have you seen Marie Osmond? Have you seen Marie Osmond?" Store security is summoned and he is asked to leave the premises right NOW, He calls his employer and tells them he has lost Marie Osmond. The employer doesn't have her cell phone number but has her agent's number and he is not accepting calls.
She has in the meantime taken a cab to the gig, thinking she has been forgotten. Lots of apologies eventually ensued and there were no repercussions.
The Big GuyBig Guy Gym GIF by StickerGiant Giphy
I used to know a Chauffeur, he ended up driving around some big stars. He was big dude, like 6'8" and super muscular.
His best story was when he was driving around a few WWE (WWF back then) stars, and they awkwardly asked him to not get out and open the door for them because he'd make them look smaller.
Lord... that is a handful of mess. People need to get it together. And I knew Marie Osmond would always be a problem. LOL. Who else has some tales?
Buddy of mine ended up picking up a Netflix producer while doing Uber. He said they had a great conversation as he brought him to his hotel. The producer invited him up for a drink and since my friend was a film student he thought it'd be a good idea to go and try to get some good networking in. They hung out for about an hour when he asked my friend if he knew of any massage places with "happy endings".
He didn't but the guy paid him $500 to bring him to the closest massage place which was only a few miles out. Upon dropping him off he gave my buddy a card and said "there's a big party/festival I'm hosting. That's your ticket in. I'll let you know then if I get that happy ending haha!"
In the Car
I've have multiple people pay me handsomely to let them smoke. Heard a French guy yelling at his wife that $10,000 was too much to pay for 2 bracelets that she bought. Also over heard a lot business deals with absurd amount of money referenced. Like 10's of millions.
OH MYSay Word Lol GIF by Desus & Mero Giphy
He thought I couldn't speak French, heard him telling his wife on the telephone where she should order a strapon.
Get a Benz
Not a chauffeur but this happened because of a lack of one. Basically, a guy I used to know back when we were teenagers (17yrs old) had a lot of money. We just never knew how much until I was invited to go on holiday with him and some other friends, all expenses paid of course.
Anyway, we took a taxi to an area where this guy wanted to buy an apartment and wanted to show us so we went with him and ended up spending the whole day walking around the area. We got tired and eventually wanted to go back to the house but we were so far away that walking was not an option unless we wanted to walk for about 3 hours.
Neither of us had enough cash to pay for a taxi, and back then taxis didn't accept cards (this was around 2000 or 2001 btw) so this guy rings his dad and asks if he could send a chauffeur to pick us up, but the chauffeur turns out was busy doing some deliveries for the dad, so instead the dad says "there's a Mercedes Benz dealer shop near were you are, I know the manager there as I've bought several cars from them, just go there and buy a car with the credit card.
You can leave it in the house and we'll figure out how to bring it home later." So we went to this dealer shop and somehow in about 30 min the manager did all the paperwork and we ended up driving back to the house in a brand new Mercedes C class, which we used for the rest of the holiday.
My sister was in a limo once and asked the driver about his most interesting ride. The driver said that he picked up some models who were going to a PETA demonstration, "I'd rather be bare than in fur" or whatever it was. He got to the location, they stripped naked in the back of limo, and he waited until they were done with the photo op.
The Story of John
Not a chauffeur, but seemed like a good chance to remind people of the story of John Boehner (At the time, Speaker of the US House of Representatives, 3rd in line for the US Presidency) not knowing how to use Uber.
As the story goes, one of his aides downloaded the app onto his phone and showed him how to use it. Unknown to him, he'd been stuck on the carpooling option, uber-pool.
That's what he used for years. There are all sorts of tales of commuters hopping into their carpool and bam, there's John Boehner stuck in a middle seat asking to get dropped off at the Capitol Building.
However you feel about his politics, I think that's pretty funny.
I had a college friend whose parents were friends of Elmo Zumwalt, who told them a story about himself. Shortly after he was appointed Chief of Naval Operations, he went out for a jog on a foggy morning when he was new to the DC area, got lost, and had to hail a cab to get a ride home. The cab driver was friendly and struck up a conversation that went something like this—
Driver: So you got lost, what do you do for a living?
Zumwalt: I'm in the Navy.
Driver: I was in the Navy too! What do you do in the Navy?
Zumwalt: I . . . er . . . run it.
Driver: [shakes head].
Where to Begin?
One of my best friends used to drive Uber in a wealthy area of LA. He told me so many stories about drunk celebs and tiktokers in his car.
- Quentin Tarantino and Trisha Paytas were making out in his back seat when they were secretly dating lol
- Mike Tyson is apparently very nice in person and also a giant pothead
- Somebody on Gossip Girl and her friend were arguing about chicken nuggets and tried to get him to go through a Wendy's drive through during the lunch rush when there were 10 cars already in line
- Addison Rae or one of her friends took their shoes off and left them in the car
- Leo dicaprio took more than 5 minutes to find the car. He seemed out of it and was quietly bobbing his head listening to music on his headphones b**chyfuxkjngbltch34
Wasn't exactly a chauffeur but I did have the distinguished privilege of working with a multimillionaire one time for a couple days and I was just astounded at how out of touch he was with people.
One conversation he was talking about how he hated all the new homes they were building and he liked old castles so he was having a castle in Scotland disassembled and reassembled here in the US piece by piece.
On another occasion he asked me why I wasn't in college yet (the job was after high school and I was working as a plumber) and gave me an "Ohhh right" when I told him I couldn't afford to go yet and had to save up.
A Tiphappy drag race GIF by Robert E Blackmon Giphy
A small part of my family was Chicago Mafia.
Grandpa told me a story of a family wedding in Chicago they went to in the late 60's.
In the van
About 25 years ago I had a summer job at a very tony country club. Six figure joining fee, five figure continuing membership dues, and that got you nothing but the privilege of paying top dollar for rounds, food, etc.
I was a porter some of the time, as we had cottages on club grounds for members to stay and make a weekend of it. One of my duties was driving members to and from airports - usually private airports for private jets.
One time I'm driving two guys to the airport, and one of them starts complaining.
Seems he and his wife are always fighting over who gets the jet every weekend, and where they want to go.
Well, the other one replied, my third jet is actually just gathering dust right now, since my son went to college. Wanna take it off my hands?
They shook on it right there in the van.
Not a chauffeur but worked as a caterer for private jets and the insane folks who owned them. Had a huge order from what I knew to be a smaller jet so I really wondered about it. When one of the owner's handlers was training a new flight crew, he ordered $12k of meals for a flight that didn't exist just so the new flight attendants could practice the fine points of checking in a catering order.
I listened outside after the food drop as the handler started explaining what to do to six of the most beautiful humans I have ever seen. We provided food for a lesson! The food was wasted. I found it in the dumpster outside one of the hangars the next day.
Front Seatoscars 2017 laughing GIF by The Academy Awards Giphy
I'll answer for my grandparents.
They owned a limousine business, I believe in the early 2000s, and my grandmother drove Mel Gibson around. She said he was nice and that he had requested to sit in the front passenger seat due to car sickness.
I'm torn... I feel like I want to be a driver just for the writing material but I also fear for my life. How to weigh the options. The crazy is all comedy gold. I do know that for my next taxi ride... I'm gonna be mute.
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If you don't have any experience with construction, it can be pretty interesting to watch those reality HGTV shows (I know I'm addicted at this point). Some of the best episodes can be the one's where they open up the walls to find the builder didn't do anything right, causing a huge blow to the budget. The drama!
As someone who doesn't know much about building, and is dreaming of homeownership, Redditor Vast_Recognition_682 asked a question I wish I had thought of first.
Redditor Vast_Recognition_682 asked:
"Home inspectors of reddit, what are some horrible things that almost went unnoticed?"
Here's some horror stories that shed a little light on the home owner unknowns.
Behind the closet wall.
"Going through a home with [the] home inspector, didn't find any issues, bring my dad in to look through the house too and he was [incessantly] checking everything. Looks at the Zillow listing with the floor plan, measures the basement, finds out the actual measurements smaller than the floor plan which led us to go looking in a closet and realize they finished a wall and closet around the old oil tank, never decommissioned it, never planned to tell anyone about it, and we would have had to rip walls out to get to it to remove it. It was a non starter and we walked away. So happy to have my dad's sharp eye while home shopping."
If you need a good prank idea when you're renovating, here's one:
"I saw a post once, this guy said his dad's house had a diagonal outer wall and he was installing a combination wall and bookshelf to square the room. Since there was a small dead space on one side, the dad (who was a doctor), got a life-size plastic human skeleton from work and tossed it in there."
"So if someone tore the wall out to remodel in 30 years or whatever, they'd see it and freak out."
Man cave mayhem.
"Not a home inspector, but I did ask our home inspector what crazy stuff he had seen over the years. He had two stories."
"He inspected a modest three bedroom house and found that were very strange structural cracks in the walls. The area where the house was built is primarily clay soil which leads to a lot of foundation issues, but these were really abnormal cracks. He headed to the attic to wrap up his inspection; it was located over the garage so there was absolutely no structural support there. He poked his head up into the attic and couldn't believe his eyes: the owner had a fully furnished man cave in the attic over the garage. It had a couch, big screen tv, weight set, and a huge gun safe. He said he had no idea how in the world all of that stuff didn't come crashing down through the garage ceiling or how the guy had managed to get the giant gun safe up there without some sort of elaborate winch system. He said it was only a matter of time before the house collapsed."
"The only other weird thing he encountered was a cistern (an old well) in a crawlspace underneath a house. He said he was crawling along on his stomach when he almost fell into it; it was left uncovered."
A rats nest of wires.
"I'm sure there will be some stories about wiring above drop ceilings. When I was looking at houses, I saw (not the home inspector) one once where like 10 different wires came into one rats nest of a cluster. To make it even better, there was a regular lamp cord that ran from it to power the hanging kitchen light above the table. And if you want whip cream and sprinkles on that.... the power came into that mess through knob and tube."
"I am an apprentice electrician and this comment just made my soul cry."
"I found an uncapped steel conduit with live wires behind my sink while remodeling. There wasn't even a cap on the wires."
"While ripping out our old kitchen we cut the old crappy countertop with a sawzaw, to our surprise saw a spark and blew a breaker. some mother f**kers who previously renovated this kitchen ran the wiring for a new outlet on the wall around the studs in a crevice in the back of the countertop...."
"My family flipped a house a few years ago. There were four ceilings, each a couple inches lower than the one before, and all but one had old wiring in it. It was like cutting into a weird lasagna, trying to find the studs in that house."
"Grandma was shrinking with old age, but her kids didn't want her to realize."
"Not me, but one I spoke to. Place almost passed, until out the corner of his eye... bam... jack stand holding up a beam under the house."
"Same with a house daughter was interested in. The place was a flip and totally redone. Beautiful. And down in the basement was a brick holding up a big beam."
This inspector had a full list.
1. "Furnace exhaust flue inlet at the attic furnace disconnected and a dead bird below it. Would have dumped all the furnace exhaust straight into the attic area. Obvious safety implication."
2. "Long time vacant house in a very secluded area. Reeked of cat p*ss and burnt plastic. No cats or cat feces in sight and no entry point for cats. Found small balloon in the corner of the floor where the fridge would be. Picked it up (with gloves) and white powder came spilling out. We came to the conclusion there was possibly the presence of methamphetamine in the home at some point and in some fashion."
3. "5 year old house, nice neighborhood, great shape, vacant. Everything looked good visually. In the attic, just after it had started raining heavily, a slight but constant drip was noticed from the roof sheathing in one area. Got lucky on that one. Sunny day, there would have been no evidence of any issue whatsoever."
4. "Homeowner DIY replaced the microwave and thought it would be 'clever' to run the exhaust vent into the wall cavity between the kitchen and adjacent laundry room. Just dumped the moisture into the wall. Mold city after a while if you do a lot of cooking while using the exhaust fan."
5. "60s house, well renovated. Range was a gas/electric dual fuel setup. Noticed broiler took forever to even start to warm up and never got hot enough that I couldn't touch it real quick (they usually glow red after like 30 seconds). Found out the range was plugged into a 110v outlet (enough to power the control panel and light) and not the proper 220v outlet (not even present). Oven was essentially useless. That one also had an incomplete drain line from a bathroom sink dumping everything directly into the crawlspace."
6. "New build. Got into the attic and just a quick 360° scan, something was off. Looking closer found a truss web beam that was completely gone, just ripped out (gusset plates bent to hell). Probably knocked out by the framing crews crane or something and they thought no one would notice. Time is money right? Lol"
They saved the day with this good catch!
"I used to work in a hospital, in IT. We were in a back corner of the oldest building. I used an out of the way stairwell, that had a 4 inch cast iron sprinkler main running through it."
"One day when I was leaving, I noticed a little tiny bit of water on the outside of the pipe. I went back to my desk, called maintenance, and asked them to send someone down so I could show them what I noticed. Walked the guy down to the stairwell and showed him, went on home."
"The next day I get to work and there's a letter on my desk. I open it, and it's from the director of maintenance. Seems that they shut down and depressurized the sprinkler line, and when they went to disconnect the section with the leak, the pipe just crumbled. They figured that my call prevented a major flood in materials management (which backed up to the stairwell on the floor below us) as well as a FD call-out, as the alarm would have gone when the pipe ruptured and water started flowing. The director sent me a very nice thank-you, and referred the situation to the cost-saving committee to see if they could get me a bonus based on preventing an accident."
The internet might just save homeowners on a whole lot of money by taking a closer look during the inspection. Thank goodness for this Ask Reddit post shedding light on the horror stories of homeownership and renovation mishaps.
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Unless you've been a member of the armed forces, you may only know drill sergeants as uncompassionate leaders who yell at privates all the time.
War Face GIF Giphy
"Drill instructors, what is the funniest thing you have seen a Private do?"
The following examples were utterly humiliating, but valuable lessons were learned.
"Had 2 guys get in a fight in our bay during basic. The drill sergeant made them hold hands and pretending to be on a date all week. Only time they could let go of each other's hands was rack time. They ended up becoming pretty good friends."
"Ex British Army officer here."
"A corporal went on a nine week mortar course and was accommodated (obviously) while he was away. It turned out he knew one of the DS teaching the course and was invited, regularly, to dine and drink in the Sergeant's Mess."
"The month after coming back from the course, he brought his payslip to me with a puzzled look on his face and, embarrassed, explained he didn't understand what it meant and could I help him?"
"It emerged that the Sergeant's Mess had a chitty system - you didn't pay for your drinks at the time, but signed for them and the total bill was deducted from your pay."
"This legend had managed to drink more than his monthly salary both months he'd been away and his payslip was a negative balance."
"I'm sorry Smith, I'm afraid you owe the Army £235 ($327.50) this month."
Asking For An Advance
"Former European Anti-Air Trainee here."
"Recruit spent his first check on alcohol and sex workers, asked his commander for next months check in advance the next day. Instead of having a good excuse prepared to actually succeed in that proposal he blankly told him in front of 80 other recruits why he'd need it."
"I saw a guy post about how he was like 6'3 and his DS was like 5'2, so whenever he messed up the DS would go up to him face to chest and yell 'Elevator!' and the guy would bend down to eye level with the DS and say 'Ding!' and the DS would proceed to look him in the eye while he chewed him out."
Some experiences were downright hilarious.
"Not an RDC, but in boot camp I was over the laundry crew. One recruit sh*t himself because he thought he couldn't leave his rack after taps. It was funny at the moment before I realized I had to wash it."
"This was the funniest f'king thing I ever read from u/odomotto"
"Recruit fired all his blank ammo during 'ambush training.' He crawled in ditch opposite where the aggressors were, and started throwing rocks at them. DI came running in middle of the road blowing his whistle and screaming 'what the f'k are you doing?' Recruit screamed back, 'throwing hand grenades drill sergeant!' Without missing a beat, the DI screamed 'out f'king standing.' And walked away."
"My sides hurt and I was wheezing laughing so hard at this when I first heard it!"
These punishments made no sense. And that's why they're memorable.
"When I was in basic, a kid we called 'Albino' shot off a blank round accidentally in the field. The sergeants were pissed and took his weapon away and replaced it with a broomstick for the remainder of the week in the field."
"Man I remember some dude didn't put the sheet on his bunk the right way and had to wear the sheet as a cloak and go to all the other barracks dancing around sing about how he was the 'Catch Edge Fairy' or something. It was pretty silly, he owned it though. He was doing twirls the whole time. This was Navy bootcamp."
Despite how they are depicted on film, drill instructors are people who care.
Like, Beals – a drill sergeant at Fort Knox, Kentucky – who said:
"We provide more than just physical, mental and emotional guidance for them. You are a father, a preacher, a financial advisor, a counselor-you provide so many different services to the Soldier that the regular public doesn't see on day to day basis."
"They see what they see in movies and what they hear about by word of mouth. But you are fulfilling so many roles other than just being a trainer and teaching an individual how to be a Soldier in the Army."
And occasionally, they are having a laugh at the crazy things their trainees do.
Sometimes, it becomes extremely clear that it's time to leave.
That goes for short term situations like a bizarre social moment, or longer term commitments like work or relationships.
Whatever the context, there is typically a tipping point moment when all the variables appear to suggest things have become unsafe, wildly uncomfortable, or maybe even a tad illegal.
It's those moments when all you can think about is the door.
Redditor Thotus_Maximus asked:
"What was your biggest 'I'm out' moment?"
Many people talked about the times they went to parties that turned out to be very different from what they had in mind.
"Went to a friend of a friend's 35th birthday party. There were like 3 people there when we showed up. Birthday boy says everyone's in the basement. Okay cool."
"We go down to the basement. Someone's DJing, they've got cool lighting, there's like 30 people dancing. After a minute or 2 we realize everyone in the basement is like 13. Nope Nope Nope."
THAT Kinda Party
"Lived in a hotel for a while when I was 18-19. One day a bunch of people I've met at the pool wanted to go up to this dudes room and party. I thought we were gonna drink, smoke, and have a conversation, but that's not how it went."
"While everyone went up there, I had to go back to my room and change clothes. When I finally went to join them, I walked in and saw this dude injecting hard drugs. I sh** you not, this dude turned completely blue and dropped to the ground like a rock. When I saw that, I just dipped."
"He got picked up by an ambulance and survived. When I saw him in the elevator the next day, he seemed like a completely different person. Seein' stuff like that (that wasn't my first time witnessing od's), I think kept me away from the drugs that can kill you easily."
The Great Escape
"I was at a party when I was a teen. Cops turned up. I was stuck upstairs. But there was a balcony and underneath a pool. And beyond the pool a gate leading to an alley."
"So I jumped in the pool."
"But when I resurfaced there were already two cops standing there looking at me."
Other Redditors recalled the times they encountered strangers that did not appear to have their best interest at heart, to say the least.
"Was approached by someone and we talked about how we went to the same college and I showed him some of my art work, he thought it was pretty cool and offered me an opportunity and wanted to talk more later because I was at work at the time."
"I met up with him and his girlfriend and he told about what he mentioned. As I say there listening, it sounded familiar and BAM! It hit me. It was a pyramid scheme, it had nothing to do with art or any job prospects, I told him I wasn't interested many times in the nicest way possible l, but boy did they look pi**ed."
"I got stuck in an airport overnight as my flight was cancelled due to weather and I was starving because all the stores were closed. Some employee offered to show me where to get food so I followed him."
"He then opened a door to outside in the parking lot and motioned outside. I quickly said 'no thanks' and walked away."
And finally, some talked about when it became very clear that their work situation needed to end, like yesterday.
Quotas Reign Supreme
"I got buried by heavy packages while loading a truck for Fedex. It took 3 people to get me out. I was bloody, bruised, and had trouble lifting my arm."
"My manager came over and chastised me for my package count being too low. Walked out immediately."
Leaving Him a Stressful Day
"I worked in a contact centre several years ago. It was super busy and calls didn't stop coming. For some reason, my stupid boss removed everyone else from the queue for some stupid training, leaving me alone to handle all the calls. I messaged him a few times on Microsoft Teams, asking what was happening with no reply."
"After two hours, I shut down my computer and walked out of the company. I just recently withdrawn my last salary, so no regret whatsoever."
Corruption At Its Finest
"I worked for a blood analysis lab machine company for about 6 months. Hated every minute of it because I was working well over 60 hours a week every week. I wouldn't be leaving some hospitals until after 11pm sometimes. The management would never support the techs, the customer is always right, that BS."
"So one week at during the over the phone team meeting, the manager actually asked on of the younger techs to complete paperwork and submit it. Which is normal, but the manager was having him submit the repair paperwork and schedule the repair when they got around to it. He wanted the tech to pencil whip documentation we submit to the FDA so he could a quarterly bonus."
"Managers who's group hits all the pm's, gets a very nice size check. Had the tech done that and the machine failed before it was serviced, somebody could have died and he might have gone to jail. I left that job the next day."
Out With a Bang
"I walked out of a job two hours into a shift and left them without anyone who could do my job."
"As a parting gift, I threw the manual I'd written in the rubbish and didn't bother removing or giving anyone my passwords to stuff so they couldn't do anything."
Years ago I had a classmate who was a total daredevil... so much so that he would often injure himself. He once drove a bike in the direction of oncoming traffic, just for the hell of it. He got out of that episode unscathed––luckily. By contrast, I prefer keeping all my limbs, and still have them all. I wonder where he is now. Hopefully not too banged up. I did do some stuff unwittingly––like the time I stuck a fork into an electrical socket. I thankfully wasn't shocked too much. I was young and naive.
People told us all about the dangerous things they did when they were younger after Redditor Not-an-Ocelot asked the online community,
"What's the most dangerous thing you did as a kid without realizing?"
"My chore was to wash the floors. I would mix all sorts of chemicals together, not realizing they don't mix. Like bleach and ammonia with other cleaning products."
This is very easy to do––and so dangerous! Thankfully you didn't harm yourself.
"I used to walk..."
"I used to walk on a frozen river when walking home from school. I was about 7 at the time."
Seen too many movies about people stuck under the ice.
"We would sneak up..."
"I used to do parkour. We would sneak up onto the rooftops of condo buildings when they were washing their windows (the staircases leading to the top floor would be unlocked). We would then go roof hopping.
Literal roof hopping like in Grand Theft Auto. We would jump from a 12 storey apartment building's roof to an adjacent 10 storey apartment building's roof, etc."
How are your knees? That's bound to do some damage, no?
"I picked up..."
"I picked up a baby copperhead snake and gave it to my mom as a present when I was 6 or 7."
You must have really hated your mom.
"There was a railway crossing..."
"There was a railway crossing on my walk to school, and the train would often be blocking my path so I would always wait until it stopped moving and then climb on top of it and jump off the other side so I could keep walking and not be late."
"Played inside an old broken refrigerator that was outside….not knowing it could have locked or tipped over."
Yes, it could have! Thankfully it didn't. There's a really frightening scene in The Leftovers involving a character who nearly suffocates in a fridge.
No thank you.
"Like most Florida kids..."
"Like most Florida kids I swam where I shouldn't have and I'm very lucky I didn't get eaten by alligators."
"After seeing videos..."
"Playing with fireworks. After seeing videos of kids blowing their fingers and hands off, I would never let my kids play with them, without lots of supervision."
"We are super lucky..."
"Getting on a boat with my then-boyfriend and not telling our parents where we were going. The boat ended up sinking during a storm and we had life jackets and floated on the ice chest. Only reason we are alive is because a ship that was coming in heard us screaming during the storm and called the coast guard. We were out there for a total of 15 hours and had severe hypothermia. We are super lucky to be alive."
This is pretty terrifying.
Everything that could go wrong, did go wrong.
Yes, thankfully, you're alive.
"When I was about..."
"When I was about 9 or 10 a friend and I rode an air mattress down a river. Neither of us knew how to swim and we didn't tell our parents so when we came back cops were looking for us."
Well... these were a read.
If you'll excuse me, I'll stay indoors and wrap myself in bubble wrap. The outside world is scary.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
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