Baffled Employees Reveal The Most Ridiculous Thing They’ve Had To Explain To A Superior.

Everyone has gaps in their knowledge. It's only human! There are some occasions when you discover that someone in your circle has a gap that is a little bit of a head scratcher, though. Here, people share the most ridiculous things they've had to explain to another adult, and the answers are oh-so-hilarious. Enjoy!
If you would like to read more of these stories, check out the source on the last page. Comments have been edited for clarity.
Let me set the scene: on top of a mountain in Maui with a tour group, watching the sunset, and I hear the guy behind me telling his kids that "the sun sets in the west so that's the Pacific ocean, so that side over there is the Atlantic." I laugh and turn around and acknowledge his hilarious joke. He was not joking, to which I reply, "You know this is all the Pacific ocean, 360 degrees around." He then rolled his eyes and kept talking to his kids. Poor things don't stand a chance.
"Why doesn't the kite just fly away?"
Um, the string?
I had to tell a guy that his false advertisement suit vs Time Warner wouldn't hold up, because they're not the ones that told him he was the millionth viewer to a website and promised him a prize.
I had to explain to someone on our flight that there wasn't another littler plane trailing us with our luggage when they looked out the window looking for said little plane.
One of my best friends was 21, gorgeous girl, not new to the dating scene at all. One day she was complaining about her boyfriend to me.
Her: "I really like him, but he keeps pressuring me for doggy and I'm just not ready for that."
Me: "Doggy? What's wrong with doggy? Doggy style is great."
Her: "You've done DOGGY?!"
Me: ".... yeah, I'm not sure what the big deal is."
Her: "You let him stick it up your...???"
And that's the day I had to explain to my best friend that doggy style is not anal. I don't let her forget.
I had a renter who was 19 and it was her first time living on her own. She didn't understand that when you send a letter in the mail, you had to put stamps on the letter. It came back due to no postage...
I basically had to confirm to her that she had to do this. Her response: "It must be a Canada thing because I never had to do that back home"...She is Canadian, from Quebec, but her parents sheltered her so much that she couldn't function on her own and thought Quebec and Canada were 2 different countries.
I was twenty years old, and covering the reception desk at a mid-sized law firm on maybe the 14th or 15th floor of a high-rise building. This attorney was apparently good at her job (from what I understood of her reputation; I didnt know her well), but this story often makes me wonder about smart and smart. On this day, as she exited the elevator on her return from lunch, she decided to voice what seemed to be a puzzle that stumped her for a very long time. I dont understand this building. Why is it, when I enter the elevator facing away from the lobby, I exit facing the lobby on the floor above? Its like the elevator turns around!
I stared at her for a few seconds, contemplating time, space, creation, and the giant salary differential between our two positions, before I spoke the last words Id ever say to her. Maam, you turn around to face the doors once you get into the elevator. Youre facing the lobby when the elevator starts to move.
She went out of her way to avoid me after that.
I had to explain that you should not wear your eclipse glasses while driving around during the solar eclipse.
How a loan works. Customers are sitting in my office trying to buy a vehicle and can't understand why their 120 payments of X add up to more than the cost of the vehicle. It took about an hour to get them through it. They had bought things before: cars, a house, and somehow in their mid-50s had no idea how interest worked.
I have repeatedly tried and failed to explain to my coworker to not eat rotting meat.
She'll a) leave chicken out on the counter all day to defrost.
b) cook the chicken and then leave the cooked chicken out on the counter for a week and "pick at it" here and there.
She is out with food poisoning at least once a week. I've never met someone who throws up as much as her and wasn't suffering from a serious medical condition. She will eat her breakfast at 4pm after it's sitting on her desk all day. Eggs with cheese and mayo that she picked up at 7 in the morning. Then she'll call in sick the next day. I have shown her youtube videos of bacteria growing, sent her articles about the dangers of ecoli. She won't listen. She ate potato salad that was sitting in a hot trunk for 24 hours. She said it was liquidy and tasted weird but she doesn't like how refrigerated foods taste. One day, when she is paralyzed from botulism, I guess I can say I told you so?
I had to explain that human babies aren't born with their eyes stuck shut like kittens. He asked me if my 3-week-old daughter's eyes had opened yet.
To an office junior post-graduate in Engineering, after checking his work:
Me: "In the English language, if a word starts with a 'Q', it is almost always followed with a 'U'."
Him: "Oh yeah?!......What about Croissant?!!!" (Defiant smug stare)
Me: sigh
I had to explain that, contrary to her belief, islands are in fact not floating like big Rubber boats (she was asking how with the wind and currents the islands still maintained their position without roaming the Oceans like rocky Icebergs.)
How a telephone works.
Customer "Hey, I need this, this and this"
Me "You need what?"
Customer "This thing right here, this thing here and here"
Me "Excuse me, do you have a part #"
Customer "Man, Im staring right at it, the part "
Me "Sir, I can't see what you're seeing..."
My boss hired an assistant for me from a gentlemen's club he had attended the previous weekend. He told her that she needed to pay attention to everything I did and then he would replace me with her. The things I had to explain/show her how to do: address an envelope, write a business email, read a contract before signing it, stay for the entirety of a client event, show up to work on time, not drink at work, not gossip at work, not have her boyfriend hang out at work all day, and more. Finally she became so upset at how much work my job entailed (and she hadn't touched the surface) that she quit.
I had to explain to my MATHS teacher that you use 'both' when referring to 2 things. If she was talking about a hundred things she would say 'both of them' and wouldn't take no for an answer.
That hurricanes are not named according to whether they are male or female, it is just an arbitrary name, HURRICANES DO NOT HAVE A GENDER IDENTITY!
There was this girl in my French class. I had to explain that France no longer has a monarchy, that England and France are different countries, and that England and France do not share a land border.
A couple of bonus stories about her: One time I was sick and missed school for a couple of days. When I came back she asked if I had the zombie flu. She tried to convince me zombies are real and that it is spread through the flu vaccine. Her "evidence" was a theory about the walking dead. Another time she said she wanted to be a heart surgeon. I asked her if she was taking biology, because our school offers college level bio. She did not know what biology was.
I had to explain to a lady how sliced bread works.
I used to work in a bakery that pretty much only did bread and a lady came in and this conversation happened:
Her: points at a bread Do you have that but like...in a bag of slices?
Me: trying to be polite Oh yeah..we slice the bread...
Her: Oh okay. But do you have it in a bag of slices??
Me: Um...yes we bag it after we slice it..
Her: Okay, but I really need this in a bag of slices...
Me: We put the bread in a machine that cuts it into slices and then we put those slices in a bag.
Her: Okay but do you sell this same bread in a bag of slices?
Me: ... Let me show you.
I take the bread and slice it for her and bring the sliced bagged bread back to her. She looked so excited you'd think she'd never seen sliced bread before.
Her: Yes! That's exactly what I wanted!
I had to explain that if you want baby chicks, your hens will need to get together with a rooster.
This guy was married with one child, I thought he would have figured some things out.
That if they eat a large quantity of fast food it's not unreasonable for them to feel full and bloated and that this doesn't constitute a medical complaint requiring a doctors review.
Back in college, my girlfriend said, "I don't understand how you can find me so sexy first thing in the morning."
I asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, whenever you wake up next to me, you're so... you know... down there..."
Apparently she had no idea what morning wood was, or that it had nothing to do with her.
That "natural" medicines and supplements are not necessarily safe or healthy, especially in huge quantities. Rattlesnake venom is natural, anthrax is natural, e-coli is natural, bubonic plague is natural...
That Tanzania and Tasmania are separate places and that our native Tasmanian Devils don't actually look like Taz from Looney Tunes.
Sort of twisted on its head, but my husband had to explain to me relatively recently that South Africa is not, in fact, just the South of Africa. It's a whole other country by itself.
I call it my awakening.
Steve Jobs did not single-highhandedly invent the home computer, GUI, the iPod, iPhone and iPad--he had Steve Wozniak, Xerox and teams of engineers do that for him.
I lived in Asia for a while. There were multiple people in both Asia and the US who thought that the Western and Eastern hemispheres experience opposite seasons (like the Northern and Southern hemispheres do). More than once, I've grabbed the nearest round object and started saying "Pretend this grapefruit is the earth and this lamp is the sun...."
My friend: "What is Mick Jagger's first name?
Me: "... Mick"
Friend: "His name is Mick McJagger?"
Mom: What's happening?
Me: The movies starting. *5 minutes into movie
Mom: Who is that?
Me: I don't know mom, he never said anything yet.
Mom: I don't like this movie, I don't get it.
The concept of progressive taxes. The number of people repeating that meme of "you get taxed more if you make more, so it's better to earn less" is frightening.
Yeah, I acknowledge the welfare argument, I'm referring to the false idea that if you make more, the entirety of your income is taxed at a higher percentage when it's only the amount made past the previous bracket cutoff. And yeah, marginal tax rates, I get it. While it's not a "progressive tax," it can still be considered progressive by the dictionary definition in the sense that it's not flat.
My casually racist mother asked why a Black family in line ahead of us didn't go to "their Starbucks?"
I had to explain to her, slowly and quietly, that this was their Starbucks. They live here. We're working on it...
That a 1000 metre high mountain wasn't man made. This guy legitimately believed that people piled up all this dirt and rock for no reason, just because the mountain is nicknamed the pyramid because of its shape.
The mountain is Walshs Pyramid in Cairns, Australia for those curious as to the scale of this guys ignorance.
You can open the photocopier to get blank paper out of it, you know.
You don't have to keep photocopying that one blank page you keep carrying around with you.
To a 28 yo female native Californian whose first (and only) language is English...
It's a vagina and not a vergina.
Comedy is in a very tricky place right now.
There is so much to NOT laugh about in this world.
In truth, many of us have forgotten how to laugh.
And certain jokes that are told, make people afraid to laugh.
So what do we do?
We tell inappropriate jokes apparently.
Let's hear some...
Redditor CrewCreation wanted to hear some "risky" comedy. So they asked:
"What’s the best morbid joke you know?"
***WARNING: THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS SENSITIVE MATERIAL. PROCEED WITH CAUTION!***
I can't think of anything hilarious at the moment. Make us LOL.
Lady
"I have this friend, love him to bits, but his wife has a tendency of just constantly showing everyone pictures of their son at every social event. At the start it was understandable, but now I'm just like 'Lady, it's been two years; they're not going to find him.'"
UnoriginalUse
at 9am...
"Not the most morbid but I love Anthony Jeselnik’s story about his neighbor who has Alzheimer’s. 'One of my next door neighbors is a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer’s. And every single morning at 9am he knocks on my door and asks me if I have seen his wife.'"
"'Which means that every single morning at 9am I have to explain to a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer’s that his wife has been dead for quite some time. Now I’ve thought about moving. I have thought about just not answering my door in the morning. But to be honest, it’s worth it… just to see the smile on his face.”
dreagan021
Comedy?
"Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is."
GW2RNGR
"Why can't orphans play tennis? They get confused when they hear love."
JayDub506
People who make comedy are evil. LOL.
The Darkness
"Dark humor is like food; not everyone gets it."
storm_the_castle
God Laughs?
"A Holocaust survivor dies and goes to heaven, where she meets God. To break the tension she tells God a joke about the Holocaust, but God doesn’t laugh. The lady shrugs and says 'I guess you had to be there.'"
“'I guess you had to be there' is a common expression used when someone doesn’t laugh at a joke. It means that the comedy may not translate without the context of the situation."
"In this case the Holocaust survivor is saying it, meaning that during the Holocaust God was nowhere to be found. It’s not really a joke about the Holocaust, but the absurdity of belief in a benevolent God. Hilarious right?"
semimillennial
Oh Baby
"How many dead babies does it take to fix a light bulb? More than 3 cause my garage is still dark."
sirnibs3
I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Because I don't know what it says about us as people if we laugh. Oye.
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Life can change in an instant.
It can always change for the better.
Just ask any lottery winner.
Sadly, life can also take a turn for the worst and leave people shattered beyond repair.
Watching someone's life fall apart in a short amount of time is difficult.
You have to wonder if there really is such a thing as karma, bad luck, or Voodoo.
Redditor OkImagination5852 wanted to hear about the times we've been witness to personal disaster. They asked:
"People who witness a person's life crumble in a single day, what happened?"
I have lived through a lot of bad days. But thankfully they've been one disaster at a time days. So I guess I'm lucky.
Horror
"A friend of a friend had his entire family killed overnight. He was from my college and was home visiting his family. His parents, siblings, and extended family were all there together. One night, while they were all asleep, his father got up, took out a gun, and went on a shooting spree. He then killed himself."
"Everyone except this guy died on the spot. When my friend visited him at the hospital, the guy was still in shock. He had no idea why his father did that. This was more than a decade ago, and I have no idea how he's doing now."
DeadOnDeparture98
The IRS Called
"Knew a guy who had a nice house, wife, 3 kids. Machine shop in his garage, Snap On tool truck, sign out front, great mechanic. Never incorporated, didn't pay taxes on his business, cash only. Took nice vacations, bought a boat, then a camper. Five years later, the IRS came. I don't know what they estimated he owed but they seized everything. He lives alone in a trailer now."
Nobody_Wins_13
2 at Once
"My mom’s dad and dad’s mom both died on the same day. Completely unrelated. We were pretty messed up for awhile. It was 2010. Mom's dad had emphysema (lifetime smoker) and was pretty sick for a few weeks. I was in college at the time and came home to be with him, because we knew he was about to pass. Dad's mom was in the nursing home, as she had had a stroke and also had dementia (she often thought I was my dad, she thought we were in the 70s, etc.)."
"She took a turn for the worst, and so my dad left the hospice my grandpa was at and went to be with her. The towns they were in were about an hour apart, so I stayed behind with my mom to comfort her when her dad passed. A few hours go by, and he passes peacefully (huge thanks to the hospice workers for their respect and grace during this time)."
"Within an hour or so of his passing, we get a call from my dad saying that his mother had passed as well. It was a terribly dark day in our family, and the next couple years for me in college were pretty much a blur. Thankfully, things got better in time and we are all doing well now."
She lost everything...
"Her husband left her after previously persuading her to remortgage their house to save his business and he's already made her take multiple credit cards out in her name. She lost everything. He did it the week after their youngest turned 18 so he wouldn't have to pay child support. He'd obviously been planning for years."
Ieatclowns
a black sheep...
"My cousin was in a motorcycle accident with her boyfriend. Her boyfriend died. She broke her back. When she was in the hospital she learned she was pregnant. It's been 16 years and we're still trying our best, she took an all too familiar path of drugs, burning bridges and more pregnancies."
"At this point she's fairly stable and clean as far as I know but a bit of a black sheep. Her mother has custody of all one of her kids. She has her youngest and seems to be doing good by her, but who knows. It's been hard on everyone, especially her mother and her brother."
Paradigm6790
Well this is the stuff of nightmares. I'm grateful for every moment I have alive.
Several lawsuits are filed...
"Here is multiple lives ruined in an instant. A friend was over at some other people house, drugs were involved. They had been playing with a gun. My friend points the gun at a girl, pulls the trigger and shoots her in the head. Girl dies, friend gets locked up until he turns 18. Parents at the house get arrested because they knew what the kids were doing. Friends mom goes into a depression and ends up getting evicted from her house. Several lawsuits are filed."
sentondan
Gone Forever
"It was me... got in a car accident and suffered a traumatic spinal and brain injury that I had no chance of surviving... a 7 vertebrae spinal fusion, yrs of physical and mental therapy... 18 yrs later and the pieces, though many forever gone, are finally coming back together."
2boneskuLL
A Bad Night
"He trashed his fathers vacation house with an axe before setting it on fire, stabbed the neighbor nearly to death, stole their car and then crashed it into a cop car so bad the cops were injured. He also got his girl pregnant, so once he is out of prison they're gonna start a family."
Dumbing_It_Down
"dangerous"
"Pregnant friend found out husband (43) was having an affair with young woman (19) who was a volunteer at their ecolodge. Friend had 'dangerous' pregnancy and had to spend a lot of time in bed. This betrayal destroyed their marriage, split the little town where they lived and caused two employees to quit because witnessing the affair going on was just too painful."
"She had a beautiful baby girl (to go with her other two girls, lol) and after the breakup was clinically depressed. Worked hard and got a divorce (she had a great lawyer); got the business back on track; beat her depression and now is planning a great vacation trip with her girls."
"Meantime, Dad has generous visitation but just 'hasn't gotten around to' buying a car seat so he can pick up the baby and for a long time asked my friend, 'Can you drop the girls off at my Mom's?'"
NoBSforGma
Lost it All...
"Recently, I know of a guy that had borrowed all his family’s life savings for the most part to participate in the whole game stop stock thing happening… he lost every penny of his money (credit card advances), and his parents retirement, and every other dime he could get… it makes me sick to even think of it."
Bangbangsmashsmash
Well those are A LOT of bad days. Good luck to all of you.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
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Those who are wealthy have the luxury of acquiring the best of the best–whether it's dinner at a Michelin-starred restaurant or status-identifying clothing from Chanel or Yves Saint Laurent.
But even the rich have their limits when it comes to frivolous spending before casting judgment on friends or colleagues.
Curious to hear examples of this, Redditor Sasquatchfl asked:
"Rich people of Reddit, what's the craziest/most unethical thing you've seen people in your circle spend money on?"
Expensive experiences were a priority over prized possessions.
Live Sushi
"An ex worked for Dell in the late 90s/early 2000s. He was pretty high up and there were lots of partiers in his work circle. Went to a party hosted by one of the dellionaires and there was a body sushi girl. I don’t know what was paid to her, but it was one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever seen."
– 5hrs4hrs3hrs2hrs1mor
Pissing Contest
"Paid a group of homeless guys to only use the bathroom on a competitors business. Eventually bought that place for a massive discount."
– Haboobalub
Let's Work Out
"My mother woke up one morning and said she felt she was way too fat and she wanted to get a treadmill. The treadmill wouldn’t be a problem, but then she saw where it would be and didn’t like the lighting. Fast forward 2 months later there’s a 40k outdoor gym built and connected to the house. She hasn’t used it once."
– Herrera5449_
Taking A Leap
"Travelled with a bunch of ex 'friends' all fairly wealthy."
"First trip to SE Asia together and as an ex-local I was a de-facto tour guide (despite not being there in over a decade)"
"They somehow found and offered a bunch of kids diving off cliffs to jump for spare change."
"They increasingly challenged each other to land their coins as close to the cliff base and small surrounding rocks for the kids to dive for."
– Satakans
It's about the finer things in life.
Expensive Party Gag
"A 3k ouija board from Gwen Paltrow's store. I didn't even know it was a thing until the dude brought it out. I really wanted to cut it up and see what it was made from. Looked nice don't get me wrong but the thing is basically a party gag. For 3 grand, it better summon a demon that's all I'm saying."
– con_this
Slow Burn
"$600 USD for a candle."
– Jeffranks
It's not always about the things you acquire.
Minor Inconvenience
"I know a guy who went to get a new drivers license and had to pay ~$100k in back parking tickets, then joked about it after."
"Apparently he couldn't get a permit to park in front of his house, so he just did anyway, and accepted like a $200 fine everyday."
– melodyze
For A Successful Election
"Not me, but I know a guy who crowd funded (read: threw a bunch of money into, then solicited more at a flea market) $80,000 toward his friend's DA election campaign. The guy won. So far, this has paid back at least $120K in avoided legal fees. I know some rich people. Most of them are more boring than you think. Hell, most of them drive Hondas, Toyotas, and Nissans."
– KP_Wrath
The Lance Corporal
"I was stationed with a Lance Corporal who was wealthy beyond means after selling some of his patents. He owned and piloted four helicopters. Lived in a palatial waterfront house in Jacksonville, NC."
"The cheapest one cost 400K. That's the one he trained on. The most expensive was about 1.2 million. That's 1.2 million 1981 dollars. The two he's got now are about 5 million each."
"Had a floating landing pad out back moored to his dock and another landing pad in the back yard. Kept two helicopters and a Rolls inside his custom-built hangar at Norfolk International Airport."
"He drove a pair of Rolls-Royces. He also toyed with a 900K Miami-Vice type speedboat. He also housed and transported his squad to Camp Lejeune and back in a custom mini-bus."
– ApplicationConnect55
The dude was very giving and lived a very clean life. He'd fly us to Norfolk, pickup the car and we'd do our shopping and eating. Hop in a chopper and return home. He'd fly his fire team down to Miami on weekends. He kept a Limo there and wore a chauffer's outfit and did all the driving.
He bought a full-service and licensed pub in Northern Ireland. He lives there with his wife. Does a lot of charity work there. We still keep in touch."
– ApplicationConnect55
When there's plenty of money going around, there's no need to worry about a single thing.
That peace of mind is a luxury in itself.
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When marriages or relationships fall apart, infidelity is not always the cause.
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor Liam_Tang asked:
"People who've divorced, aside from adultery, what were the irreconcilable differences that ended the marriage?"

You think you know a person when you walk down the aisle.
These Redditors were in for a rude awakening.
Pet Neglect
"My wife divorced her ex for many reasons, but the final straw was when she went out of town for a few days, and when she got back he had not fed or given water to the dog. The dog lived a long and happy life after that."
– StrangeCrimes
Obsessed With A Crush
"Not me, but I had an old coworker that divorced his wife for spending their entire savings on candy crush and games of the same type."
– Hexis40
Compatibility Musts
"ITT: Intimacy (sex/romance), beliefs (religion/spirituality/politics), kids, and I haven’t seen it yet but it’s coming: finances."
"The big four. You REALLY need to discuss these things in detail BEFORE getting married."
– rabbiskittles
Physical violence is a legit reason for people to peace out of a relationship.
The Flattening
"She threatened to hit me with a hammer."
– michaelrohansmith
Hitting The Bottle
"She became an abusive alcoholic. It was sad but I had to get out."
– diegojones4
Emotional pain is too damaging to recover from.
Truth Hurts
"She told me as we stood in front of the judge ending our 7 year marriage, 'I never loved you, I just wanted kids.'"
– Pinch_Dogs
Can't Fix Angry
"She was beautiful/smart but an angry angry person. I thought I could be sweet to her and 'fix' that. Heh. She kicked the crap out of me emotionally. Wife II has been a walk in the roses for 32 years now :)"
– lowlandr
A change of heart is worthless if comes too late.
"We Could've Had A Nice Marriage
"He could not understand that my wants and needs were as important as his wants and needs. We tried to make it work for 7 years. During that time, for things that were really important to me, I tried explaining logically, asking nicely, begging, crying, yelling, passive aggressiveness... cycled back through all of these options multiple times."
"(If I knew something was important to him, I would do that. For example, he was really into sports, so I went to all his events, even though that is not at all my thing.) When I finally threw up my hands and told him it was time to get a divorce, he suddenly panicked and said 'What can I do? Do you want me to do half the chores? I'll do it! Do you want me to get a job? I'll do it! Do you want me to buy you presents for your birthday? I'll do it!'"
"So, in other words, he could have been doing that all along, but just couldn't be bothered. That made me so angry. We could have had a nice marriage that we both enjoyed, but no, by the time he saw the light, that ship had sailed."
"We are both happily remarried now (to different people) and I joke that his new wife owes me a thank you note. It was his experience with me that taught him to listen to her and take her needs seriously."
– Bluebird-True
"What Can I Do?"
"My ex was exactly like this. I didn't marry him but when I told him let's break up, he went all like, what can I do? Let's get engaged, let's look at houses, etc. Basically all the pre-marriage topics that we should be discussing about after being together for 7 years."
"I got so angry and straight up told him it's too late... I don't need you anymore."
– gudetarako
As much as a couple wants to stay together, unforeseen circumstances can eventually tear people apart.
Very few people can maintain healthy long-distance relationships.
When a new job opportunity takes a significant other away, would you begrudge them for wanting a better position to earn more money? Or is it better for them to reluctantly turn down the opportunity so they could stay with you? Do either scenarios breed resentment?
These were questions I've often asked myself with past relationships, and my answers varied depending on the person I was with.
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