
Anonymous Relatives Of Murderers Share The Tell-Tale Signs They Noticed
[rebelmouse-image 18345994 is_animated_gif=Guess somebody has to be related to a murderer, right? Still, it's frightening to think about.
You have to wonder what the relatives went through, or what they thought when the major drama was going down.
deliriousplays asked Reddit:
Relatives of murderers, what memories stand out as red flags?
Here were some of the answers.
He Kept His Promise
[rebelmouse-image 18345995 is_animated_gif=My uncle said he would kill his wife if she ever cheated on him, and then killed her when she cheated on him. He now says he regrets what he did (not because of the jail time, he is actually out of jail), but because he destroyed a life instead of just walking away.
So Many Red Flags
[rebelmouse-image 18345996 is_animated_gif=My mother's ex husband is in jail for murdering 2 people.
I've not seen him (or my mother) for years, but was not surprised in the slightest when I heard.
broke several of my bones on a couple different occasions, choked me until I passed out, cheated on my mother constantly. Gave her numerous STIs. Crashed 2 of our family cars, totaling them each time and always had severe drug problems
I could go on but you get the idea. Complete piece of s***. 'Luckily' he has multiple priors so he won't be getting out for a long time if he ever does. Society is better off.
No Signs
[rebelmouse-image 18346000 is_animated_gif=I have a large family. One of my second cousins is doing 50 or so years for a double homicide. I didn't see him often, but he seemed completely normal. I talked to him the week of the murder, and he was fine. I actually was setting up my best friend to babysit for him. He had a girlfriend and two kids with her. Seemed like a normal good ol' country boy.
One night a couple in the area went missing after camping by the river. The girl was found shot in the back of the boyfriend's truck not far from the campsite. The boyfriend was nowhere to be seen and had just recently gotten back from Iraq. It was also known that he had a wife in another state, so the whole town thought the boyfriend had a psychotic break, killed her, and skipped town.
Then the police found my cousin's bumper near the crime scene and followed up on it, hoping to find the boyfriend. My cousin acted super suspicious, and after hours of interrogation, he broke down and confessed and told them where to find the boyfriend. He was a couple counties over, well hidden. It's likely that the case never would have been solved if he hadn't confessed. They used the confession to get a warrant for a DNA sample and matched it to the DNA left behind on the girl.
It still haunts me because there just weren't any signs, and it was the most heinous thing to happen in my tiny hometown. I knew the guy he murdered better than I knew him, and he was a great guy. It just makes me sick to think about it.
How Horrible
[rebelmouse-image 18346001 is_animated_gif=My Cousin tried to kill his girlfriend after doing a cocktail of drugs on a night out. He came home and got into bed with her and told her he loved her then repeatedly stabbed her- once in the neck too. Luckily she survived the attack and he is serving time in prison where he belongs.
He was always a naughty kid. One memory that stands out when we were really young is him kicking a hedgehog full force like a football - I was mortified.
I didnt have much to do with him after childhood but I know he was always in trouble with the police (court orders, arrests) for one reason or another.
Although not technically a murderer- he 100% attempted it. Glad his ex partner and child are ok.
Telltale Signs
[rebelmouse-image 18345358 is_animated_gif=About a month ago, I heard that my brother killed his old boss. It was surprising, to say the least. I hadn't talked to him in a long time- but when i heard, I instantly knew he was guilty.
There was a night when we were young, I'd say around 11-12 years old. It was maybe 4 in the morning. We shared a room, and for whatever reason, I woke up. Not that burst awake with random energy wake up, just sorta opened my eyes. He was standing in the middle of the room, with a kitchen knife, spinning it in his hands and running his finger down the blade. I watched him do this for about 5 minutes, then he left to go put it back, I assumed. I went back to sleep.
A few years later, I told my dad about it. It turns out, it didn't end there. That night, he went into my parents room and just stood over their bed. My dad woke up, asked him what he was doing, and he just replied "watching you sleep."
There were other signs, but this is the biggest.
Everyone Knew
[rebelmouse-image 18346002 is_animated_gif=The husband of one of my cousins went to prison for a very long time for murder. His entire existence was a red flag. He abused alcohol and drugs. He abused my cousin during their thankfully brief marriage. He was a monster so no one was surprised to learn he'd beat and stabbed a woman to death and was arrested with her body in the trunk.
A Total Surprise
[rebelmouse-image 18346003 is_animated_gif=Guy I Worked with (Only for a few months). This guy was amazing. We worked with people with disabilities, he was kind and legitimately compassionate. Was enrolled to start med school in the fall in hopes of supporting this same population. Get a call from my supervisor one day saying he'd been arrested for murder. Turns out he was a massive drug dealer. No details are official obviously but by the sound of what came out at trial he was meeting this guy to buy 20kg of Marijuana. Something went wrong and he ended up killing the guy. No body was ever found.
Worst part was I worked a shift with him after the murder but before he was arrested; didn't seem to have a care in the world.
Greed
[rebelmouse-image 18346004 is_animated_gif=I have a cousin currently serving life in prison for trying to murder her parents. Didn't like her new stepmother & wanted their $$$, recruited some friends to help her kill them. Stepmother died, father lived.
I was never super close to her, but saw her fairly regularly. She was always kind of the stereotypical 'spoiled rich kid' - thought she knew everything, always wanted her way - but still friendly enough & could be fun sometimes. After her parents divorced & her dad remarried the stepmother, her behavior changed completely. Every time I saw her after that, she was either angry or sulking. I remember her ranting about her stepmother to a bunch of us with this look of pure malice & hate on her face. That was maybe 8-10 months before the murder.
Maybe An Accident
[rebelmouse-image 18346005 is_animated_gif=I had a Nanny as a child. Nice latino woman that my parents had grown up with, about their age. Her husband was a convicted murderer, in and out of prison for parole violations at the time. Really nice guy. Taught me how to draw when I was around three and it remains a very vivid memory. (This wasn't exactly a violent murder. He and his buddies at work were on the scaffolding, drunk as hell, and got into a fight. The other guy fell and died but they charged him like he pushed him.)
Deathstyles Of The Rich
[rebelmouse-image 18346006 is_animated_gif=When I was 8 my uncle shot my aunt and then shot himself. There were a few red flags but not many. They were incredibly well known in my small town and everyone started noticing they weren't coming out as much. They started spending incoherent amounts of money. Don't get me wrong they always were pretty wealthy and spoiled me and my cousins rotten, but they were buying new cars, incoherent amounts of nice jewelry etc. Turns out they were in millions of dollars worth of debt because of credit card fraud and my uncle knew they were about to lose everything and killed them both.
Unhinged
[rebelmouse-image 18346007 is_animated_gif=I had a high school friend that I spent quite a bit of time with. He drove a tricked out Mustang with a major stereo system, and was very popular. He was an only child and probably would be considered spoiled, but he lived in a modest home with very nice parents. He was always kind of flaky and after school went through lots of jobs. He was an expert stereo installer though and could always find work doing that. He was pretty well liked and even admired by many.
I came home to visit from the Navy and read in the local paper while eating breakfast that he had been stalking his girlfriend and went to her work and laid in wait in the parking lot. When she came out he shot her after a brief argument. He then went to his car and shot himself.
The first thing that came to mind when I found out was how quickly this guy would fall in love with girls he liked. He was handsome and had a lot going for him and I never understood this about him. I remember one night at his house we were drinking and he had passed out. There was a cute girl there that we had met earlier that night. We were talking and she was weirded out because he had already told her he loved her and was making plans for their relationship. I assumed at the time he was doing it to get laid, but I guess not.
Mental Illness
[rebelmouse-image 18346008 is_animated_gif=I have a good friend from high school, let's call him Jim, who is now awaiting his trial for aggravated assault, attempted murder, and a few counts of murder.
Growing up he had a great group of friends and was well known, mostly because the town was small and his parents were upstanding people in the community. But he had extreme anxiety and a slew of other mental issues that have yet to be diagnosed.
There were several occasions Jim would invite people over and then avoid them when they arrived, which was the start of it all.
Later on in high school he began to ask questions regularly like "are y'all really my friends? Are you sure?"
He would begin to fight if he drank, or climb super tall buildings if he smoked, or text us nonsensical words or phrases
Then one night we were at a party the night before everyone was supposed to leave for college, so it was a big night. Everyone was drinking and smoking and having a ball except for Jim.. Jim was sitting on the couch, beer in hand, and staring into nothingness. I asked him what was up and he looked at me and began speaking slurred gibberish. I immediately went and got my buddy, Chris, and told him that Jim may go into an episode soon. We came back to find him in the same spot, looking at the tv. Out of nowhere, he got up jumped on a chair and grabbed an old clock off the wall and said "time is isn't real.. none of this is real... if it was real, I would bleed." And he punched the glass in on the face of the clock. He held his hand up to look and blood began flowing everywhere. He looked at a girl on the couch who he had had a crush on for a while and jumped on her. At this time Chris tackled him and Jim began screaming. Several of the guys in our friend group were able to restrain him, calm him, then call his parents. When his parents arrived he took off running across the neighborhood stripping his clothes off screaming about how he needs help. It was a rough night, and he had no recollection.
About 2 months later I got a call from Chris, my friend from that night, and he said "sit down, I've got some sh-t to tell you" he then explained that Jim had run his car into a building killing 3 people and injuring another 2. On the video from the security tapes it shows the car running into the building, the people being hit, him getting out of his car and looking at everything he had just caused and then began trying to help the people he hit.
He didn't know what he had done or why he had done it.
In his first cell he wrote gibberish all over the walls, wore a paper jumpsuit, had a padded cell. Nobody was allowed to see him except his parents and lawyer. We are just now allowed to send letters.
I check in on his family regularly and they are absolutely distraught, but maintaining composure. Right now we are awaiting the trial.
Mental illness is not a joke, this has changed my perspective on life and how others see it.
Money Ends
[rebelmouse-image 18346009 is_animated_gif=Dunno if it's a red flag as such, but a distant relative-in-law (who murdered his wife). He never talked about his work, he'd always just stop talking and just leave the room. He was also really weird with money, wouldn't trust banks etc, always carried rolls of cash and refused to pay, because he'd 'forgotten' his card. Later turned out he was dealing in arms and was massively in debt. So murdered her for the insurance pay out.
Time Passed
[rebelmouse-image 18346010 is_animated_gif=My great uncle is in prison for multiple murders. He's been in prison my entire life. When I was young my family went once a year to see him - it was an "honor visit." We'd board the ferry with all kinds of goodies he wasn't typically allowed; the one that sticks out was buckets upon buckets of KFC.
Nothing stood out when I knew him. He was pleasant, charming even; he's both frank and remorseful about what he's done. Every year he tries for parole and every year the victim's son shows up. The parole board denies him each time, despite now being morbidly obese and wheelchair bound.
I completely believe he's reformed, but I don't think it's such a bad thing he's in prison. It's been 30 years. My grandmother and the majority of his siblings are dead. What's out here for him now?
Anyway, sorry if this is too far from the question. Just wanted to share.
Just A Little Jerk
[rebelmouse-image 18346011 is_animated_gif=I was friends with a kid in junior high who murdered someone and then killed himself many years later as an adult.
He was one of my best friends for a brief time and I would hang out with him almost every day for about a year. Weren't any red flags I can remember, other than him being a little bit of a jerk, but nothing too out of the ordinary for a teenage boy. Seemed like a normal kid.
I heard he got very into drugs later in life though.
Subtle Malice
[rebelmouse-image 18346013 is_animated_gif=So my mom was definitely trying to have my dad killed while they were divorcing. Long story, but she was sleeping with several young (19-20yr old) boys, told them he beat, stole his gun.. anyway she wasn't very good at this plan and it didn't work.
But she probably (?) did kill her little sister a long time ago, when I was a baby, they were in their early 20s. So this is the info I have from my grandparents and dad. Sister got a mysterious 'blood disease', never was a real diagnosis, her hemaglobin just stopped working so her blood wasn't carrying oxygen properly, resulting in multiple organ failure. It was her kidneys, I'm told, that finally did her in. It all took a few months. And it started just when my mom went for a visit. So I'm thinking poison.
Obviously I can't prove anything, but knowing - now, and for the last couple of decades, that's also a long story - that my mom's a total sociopath, the timing, lack of diagnosis, is highly suspicious. The red flags, which we totally didn't see because we (my 3 younger sisters and I, and I guess my dad) weren't looking for them were the ways she talked about her sister. Never anything about them growing up together, never anything positive. The only things she told us about our aunt, her sister, was that she was a junkie and probably was one of the first undiagnosed AIDS cases, that she got it from sharing needles. Well.. turns out no one else thought she was on heroin. And as a member of the LGBTQ community I've learned a good bit about the 80s/90s AIDS crisis in my adulthood. Dying from AIDS doesn't look anything like what I've been told about my aunt's illness and death. And how fucking weird is it that as a mother, who's lost her only sister, would have nothing good to say about her to her kids? I mean even if she was a junkie, don't you talk about something good about growing up with her? Anything?
And there are just as many grievances for which we are not at all sorry.
Curious to hear about people's track record of their questionable behavior, Redditor NanoPKx asked:
"What is something bad you have done with no regrets?"
Is it petty theft or flat out stealing? You decide.
The Parting Gift
"'Forgetting' to bring back a company ipad after they forgot about me having it. Actually they never asked for it back so I still have it and use it."
– Koetjeka
Furry Companion
"I stole a barn kitten while delivering packages for FedEx. He kept climbing my legs and getting into the van, sitting under the wheel when I tried to back out (it was a steep driveway, no way to swing the van around). I called the number on the package, looked the name up on facebook, called the local non-emergency to get contact info, all failed."
"So I took him. Now, if you're not from a rural environment, you might not understand that barn cats like that are 'no-man's-cats.' For all the owners know, he got sick or got got by a coyote. And he would have died, because when we got him to the vet he had a nasty upper resp infection and some other nasties."
"Now, one deformed nasal passage and the cutest snore later, we have a bonkers little orange cat with the heaviest penchant for snuggling I've ever seen (his name is Monty btw)."
"Edit: I forgot to pay my Cat Tax: https://imgur.com/a/HIXS4us"
"Edit Part 2: Monty loves the attention. Thank you for loving him as much as we do :3"
"MmmmMMMMRrrrrrrrrrrAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW" -Montgomerey Valentine, 2022
– SonOfSkinDealer
The Dirty Treat
"A housemate of mine kept eating mine and my girlfriends food and even though I asked him to stop the only thing he would ever say is 'I thought it was mine' then keep eating it."
"Well I bought my girlfriend some ice cream she really enjoys and she put the half she didn’t finish back in the freezer. Well when she want to get the rest it was gone and it made me madder than I think it probably should have."
"The very next time I saw him and somehow keeping a straight apologetic face I told him how he accidentally ate our sex ice cream and that bits of it had been on our parts etc. I told him I felt guilty not to tell him and that I had to apologise for him to eat such a thing."
"I will never forget the face he made when I told him. A face of pure self disgust and shock to which all he had to say was 'I wish you never told me that' and proceeded to move out around a month later."
"Although he didn’t actually eat sex ice cream, like why the f'k would you put it back after use anyway? Sometimes I wonder if I went to far but in that moment I just did not care at all. He still doesn’t know it isn’t true and I’ll probably never see him again."
"F'k you Vitas buy your own food."
– SpicyDolphin74
Vengeance is sweet.
Payback Time
"A drunk driver hit my parked car, left a huge dent in the front driver’s side door, and then drove away. I happened to be looking out the window at the time and saw the whole thing, including his plate number. Cops got there not long after and took my statement. After a couple days and a couple phone calls, I found out nothing was going to come of it because he was the son of the sheriff the next county over."
"Fast forward a couple months, I see his car parked behind a local bar within walking distance of my apartment. I got out my hunting knife and sliced all four of his tires, and made a couple trips around it destroying the paint job. Yellow Pontiac Sunfire, and I still remember the goddamn plate number even after almost 20 years."
– IgnoreMe304
For The People
"I was a GM for a retailer that was going out of business. During the liquidation I let my employees that worked until the end store product they wanted to buy in a closet I claimed I didn't have a key to. Oh the final days I sold them all the items they requested for 95% off. 70" tvs, ipads, gaming laptops whatever they requested."
– Midnights606
Surreptitious Swap
"Years ago I worked for a wealthy dude who was married to someone semi-famous. He would waltz in every morning and talk about the fantastic dinner he had the night before, how he hung out with some other famous person or whatever else."
"He paid me peanuts. I had a hard time making ends meet."
"I was the office assistant and IT guy. So it comes time to get a new computer for one of the designers. I spec something out, and show it to him. It was a ripper of a machine for the time (early 2000s). But it wasn’t expensive enough for bossman."
"So I added a really high end graphics card. Boss was happy then. The card added nothing for the designer: they only did illustrator and photoshop."
"So I came in that weekend and swapped the graphics card for my aging one from home."
"No one ever knew. Or cared. And I got a new graphics card."
– Dudeinairport
When times are tough, people had to do what it took to survive.
T.P. Crisis
"In college I was so poor I would steal toilet paper from the supply closet in our major building."
– Business_Loquat5658
Hungry College Buddy
"I stood watch for a college friend who was going hungry because he’d been disowned and his roommates had made living with him intolerable after he came out."
"I was loosely affiliated with an off campus program with local churches that gave free student dinners on Thursdays. We would go to church to eat, then bring dishes into the kitchen."
"Anyway, he would go in there and steal stuff like peanut butter, literal bread (not an allegory), granola bars etc. while I watched out for the pastor."
"Eventually we both got caught, the pastor for the college students got a bit mad because he was responsible for us while we were there to eat. And I think it was offensive on some level to steal from church. But then he saw what my friend was taking, and asked him if he had enough to eat. My friend shamefacedly said no, not usually."
“'Okay, fine. Put the food back, and come with me.' Took my friend grocery shopping instead, got him connected with the food pantry and community garden at church instead."
– SchnarchendeSchwein
Based on these examples, people didn't twice about their actions in the heat of the moment.
Within reason, we all gotta somehow get by.
But do you think their actions deserve punishment?
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When a person sees someone they care about going through a struggle or crisis, their instinct is to uplift them with positive advice.
But sometimes, the wisdom imparted by friends isn't always helpful or relevant to the situation.
Curious to hear from strangers online who could do without specific knowledge, Redditor Saibotnl1 asked:
"What life advice can just f'k off?"

These Redditors have a problem with how certain people have on outlook on life.
Time To Rest
"Sleep when you’re dead."
"Cool, but you’re going to be dead a lot sooner."
– Tag2graff
Irrelevant Sadness
"People have it so much worse than you so don’t be sad!"
– notrachelmar
"To that I like to say, 'people have it so much better than you so don't be happy!'"
– ___jupiter____
Your Life Path
"Almost anything relating to what age you must be in order to buy a house, have children, marry, have a profession, or do anything else. Seriously, everyone's life is different from everyone else's. Make your life the way you want it to be. If you so desire. Up to you."
– Frn071
On The Contrary
“Cheaters never prosper”
"Yes, they f'king do."
– waqasnaseem07
People can get out of any situation they find displeasing.
But others feel people should just "stick it out."
Ignoring Bullies
"Just ignore bullys or get someone else to handle it for you. I have never seen this work, only makes it worse. The only effective way I've seen to deal with them is by not making yourself an easy target and make them scared to f'k with you again. If going psycho on their a** is the only thing they'll respond to that's their fault. Also want to add in schools they will punish you for self defense but that punishment is only sitting around a few hours in detention or sitting around at home with a suspension. The punishment is temporary boredom, it's absolutely nothing compared to being bullied and when it's over the important message will still stand that you will not tolerate being a victim."
– User Delted
Remain to be Miserable
"Stick it out"
"Whether that's sh**ty jobs, shi**y relationships, shi**y living situations..."
"By all means don't just give up on things when you face challenges, but if something feels wrong or is wrecking your peace then take some control and change it if you can!"
– petitezoey
"Easy for you to say," might be an auto-response to these suggestions for many people.
Invitation For Recklesslessness
"Live like everyday was your last"
Yall know what people do when they learn they have a single day left to live?"
– LimeGrass619
A Possible Consequence
"I did that as a teenager and ended up homeless and addicted to heroin. Didn’t pan out for me too well."
"19 years sober though today."
– Open-Section-7263
A Practical Approach
"If I knew with certainty that I had one day left, I'd double-check all my financials, my will, and my insurance policies, make sure my wife had all of my passwords and knew where all the money was, spend the rest of the day with her and the kids, then call the medical examiner and ask to lie down on the gurney so that when I die they won't strain their back moving my remains out of my house."
– Asteriad
Nose Stuck In A Book
"Work while they sleep. Study while they party"
"That's not a recipe for success, that's a recipe for a lot of white hairs, burnout syndrome and a stroke before your 40s..."
– Khomuna
Doesn't Apply To Everyone
"Do what you love and money will follow"
"I love walking my dogs and grilling food for my friends but That sh*t doesn't pay the bills as well as my engineering degree!"
– Elons_android
While people's intentions are good, they're better off keeping their two cents in their own pockets.
Not everyone likes to hear platitudes.
Sometimes, people just want to know they're not alone with their problems over listening to unlikely solutions that are nothing more than superficial pick-me-ups.
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Kids start going to school from the age of five, and for the most part, they spend more time at school than at home. Because of that, teachers can become very important figures in the lives of their students.
Some students don't have the best home lives. Some keep it to themselves, but others confide in their teachers.
Curious about various situations, Redditor Delicious_Mastodon83 asked:
"teachers of reddit what is the saddest thing you found out about a student?"
In Need of Parents
"Not a teacher but was a school-based therapist. Had a student (7 -8 y/o) I didn’t know knock on my office door and ask if I’d adopt her and “if you have room, my brother too, but if not, that’s ok, we can be split up. We’re split up now. And I don’t take up space. I just need a sleeping bag”. Broke my heart."
– secretkpr
Heartbreaking, But Industrious
"My mom taught at a school in a bad neighborhood in Chicago in the mid 90’s. There was a second grader that would save his milk and ketchup packers from lunch for his mom so she had something to eat when she got home from work."
– PowerstrokeMe
Big-Hearted Mom
"Not a teacher but a parent with a 9 year old son. Every day I pack extra in my sons lunch because he tells me he has a friend that never has anything to eat. It's winter and my son came home and told me his friend was turning up with shorts and shirt and holes in his shoes. So I sent in a jumper and long pants for him to wear and some slightly used but good condition shoes. I have been up to the school recently and the teacher pulled me aside and thanked me profusely for helping this child. Apparently teachers are not allowed to aid kids they teach here in Australia and they have already reported the issue 3 times to child welfare without results so I was the only one helping this child. The teacher told me before I started sending in more food and clothes, this child would steal others food from their lunches and look through the bins because he was so hungry. They doubt he gets fed at home. So now I make sure to always send an extra lunch and some school clothes/supplies when I can. I can only hope child welfare eventually does something but it breaks my heart."
– spetzie55
Amazing Big Sister
"It was right after winter break and before class started I was just talking with some students and asked if they got anything fun for the holidays. One girl said on no, I don’t ever get presents, my mom is a drug addict. But I went out and got some stuff for my little sister so that she can have a real Christmas."
"She just said it so matter-of-fact. She was so used to being the parent to her little sister that she didn’t even care about her own childhood. It totally broke my heart."
– tonydanzascaulk
The Importance Of Human Affection
"Second hand story from my mom, elementary teacher for 30ish years. She had a hug or a handshake out the door policy, just some small contact and a proper goodbye, and had this young boy who always picked the hug. She wondered why he always went for it, most kids would go back and forth depending on their mood that day, so she asked him why he was always so excited for the end of day hug? His answer, "It's the only one I ever get.""
– needsawholecroissant
Coming Out The Other Side
"Two teenage boys (16/14) with learning disabilities were on my caseload, they never missed school but often ditched class. They were homeless mid-year after they went home from school to find the locks changed, their Mom had abandoned them for a new boyfriend. She didn't leave an address for them to find her."
"*Edit: both eventually dropped out, however a couple of years later the younger brother came back to visit. He and his brother were both working construction, and his brother had gotten married, had a child, and was living with his wife’s family."
"The younger had roommates and was saving for a car. He told me it was a shame I didn’t have kids, because I would make a good Dad."
"People often persevere, even with the odds stacked against them."
– Kursch50
True Parentification
"Not me but my daughter is a teacher, she has lots of stories but one that stands out for me is one of her kindergarten kids saying she was tired and her asking why, the little girl explained that she had been up all night with her mums newborn baby. She did this every night, fed her bottles and everything."
– lb47513343
Luckily, He Was Resilient
"This year I had a 17 year old kid enroll at my school. He was sitting in my math class and I could tell he was struggling. After class I took some extra time to go over a concept with him. I asked him to read the question to me, and he sat there silently. He then looked at me and said “I’m not going to lie to you, I cannot read. I have no idea how to say these words""
"Turned out at age 17 he was illiterate and had been kept out of school by his very religious, controlling parents. Over the past few months he has worked very hard! Now he can finally read at an 8th grade level and he is STILL improving!!"
– User Deleted
A Heroic Teacher
"I worked in an inner city charter school. One of my students (`M10) had a sib (M8) in a lower grade. The mom was there every day in the beginning of the year encouraging them, helping them and generally being very supportive... until a CPS agent spoke to me asking about her behavior. After CPS left things went downhill. The boys showed up late to class even though they lived a half block away from school. When in school both boys were tired from sleeping in the car while their mom "went fishing". She also had two very young girls which she dragged around making the boys take care of them. One day the boys didn't show up and their teacher walked over to the house to find the mom had loaded up the fridge, paid the rent for the month and abandoned them. The teacher (a candidate for sainthood btw) took them in, adopted them and grew them up to be great men."
– mopedarmy
This is really heartbreaking stuff! Luckily, teachers aren't just another adult in your life; they can be your saving grace as well.
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TRIGGER WARNING: This article contains sensitive content about depression and mental health.
As the stigma around mental health lessens (however slowly), people are more forthcoming about the problems they are facing. One of the most common mental health issues is depression.
Depression can affect many different types of people. Factors such as gender, race, nationality, and even age have no bearing on whether someone suffers from depression or not.
According to the World Health Organization (WHO), globally, "...an estimated 3.8% of the population affected, including 5.0% among adults and 5.7% among adults older than 60 years..."
Depression displays in certain patterns, such as mood changes, physical difficulties, and social isolation. However, depression manifests differently in different people and feels different to different people.
Reddit users divulged what depression felt like to them when Redditor iodineseaspray asked:
"What does depression feel like to you?"
Some of this is sure to sound familiar.
The Worst Kind Of Boredom
"Like being more bored than you could imagine but also not wanting to do anything at all, even breathe. So you want to do something, but you can't imagine anything that you would like to do so you're just sort of stuck."
– BuddhistSlater
"So you then spend literally hours staring at a blank wall hating yourself, your life, and everything around you. Well, as much hate as you can summon in the absolutely mentally numb state you find yourself sat in day after day."
– merryman1
Lack Of Motivation and Energy
"Complete lack of motivation."
"Ignoring people that I love, and who are trying to help."
"Just sh*t"
– HatFromStraw
"I feel it extra at work. Letting things slide until you either get into trouble or trying last minute to prevent it."
"Funny those times when I'm working to save my butt, the depression goes away and i feel super focused and motivated."
"I try to carry that energy over but no, it's rinse and repeat."
– ExtraBitterSpecial
Powerful Insecurity
"Insecure about absolutely everything, no hope for the future, dissociation from society and not knowing how to “act” anymore, feeling like I’m not as good at the things I always thought I was good at or that the “talent is wasted on me”, only food cheers me up and sometimes even that doesn’t work"
– tenamonth
Loss Of Creativity
"This. It's like some numb fuzziness you feel in your brain. It's the worst thing ever for an artist who just wants to create but your brain comes up dry with a dense fog that wants to just lie down for a few hours"
– FinnProtoyeen
A Mental Inability To Breathe
"For me, it feels like I’m in a lake with a ball chain tied to my feet, desperately swimming up for air, the only problem is the chain isn’t long enough. I can only get an inch of my head out of the water to breath, and as soon as a high tide comes, the water just floods over me and I feel like I can’t breath again. I live like this, constantly feeling like I’m struggling to breathe, weighed down by my own mind. It’s a struggle and I can’t really describe it in any other way, I’m jealous of people who don’t worry about depression"
– DrowningInBrokeness
"Like suffocating under a heavy cloak"
– kmartfreak
"Like being crushed. Like if the air was crushing my muscles and bones and I can’t breathe because I’m being crushed…"
"Kinda like that."
– Afreshnewsketckbook
Listlessness
"Scrolling thru your steam library. Thinking you want to play something, either not settling on anything or not wanting to put the effort into the game. Going back to the scrolling."
– Aistadar
"It feels like you're forced to play a game of Monopoly (represents life) and your just rolling the dice to appease everyone but you genuinely don't care about where you go, where you land, what you pick up, what you pay, what you gain."
"You kind of just watch it happen without interest and while people are cheering or oh no-ing for you, you genuinely don't care. Everyone is a piece on this board that hardly matters and you feel like we're all just running in a circle over and over again and it's boring and disinteresting as hell."
"You lose all curiosity for everything and just let everything happen and pass by you. No motivation, hardly any love, hardly any care. Feels like the world is in black and white and your waiting for the game to end became it's so absolutely boring and disinteresting, but it never does."
"You come to resent the game and eventually hate it because it feels like you're being forced to play it and suffer it's consequences when you never asked to play it in the first place."
"That's what depression felt like for me. Since then I've been medicated and recieved therapy. I'm doing a lot better now and I don't feel this way anymore, thankfully."
- KnlghtLlghts
A Relation To Fantasy
"You know that scene in the Lord of the Rings where Bilbo is describing to Galndalf what having the Ring all those years felt like? "I feel thin. Like too much jam spread over too much bread." That's honestly the best way I've seen to describe it."
– Electrical_Age_336
"I always say the closest thing to compare it to is a dementor in harry potter. It sucks every ounce of happiness out of you until there is only darkness left."
"Side note: chocolate always helps"
– sunfacer
Fear Of Lack Of Justification
"Like someone close to you died yesterday. Expect no one has, and nothing has happened to justify how you feel."
– AlterEdward
A Physical Pain
"Physical pain in my heart, will start crying just by attending to the physical sensation in my body."
– sagieday
Help Yourself
"I've always described it as having a shadow fixed to your brain which fuels things like indecision and negativity. You can do things to temporarily help but you can't truly shift it. Previous normality is forgotten. But it's amazing how much you can mask it."
"I found I didn't realise how bad I was until I started to get better"
"For anyone suffering with depression. Please, please speak to someone. Best thing I ever did"
– DavosLostFingers
Depression isn't something you can just deal with or get over. Learning to cope is not easy. However, as Redditor DavosLostFingers pointed out, talking to someone can literally save your life.
If you or anyone you know is struggling with depression, contact the American Psychological Association by phone at 800.374.2721 or 202.336.5500.
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