The kitchen is a sacred place for many. If you merely dabble in the art of cuisine you must be careful. Those who live by fires of the chef, they can't afford mistakes. But we all make them. So let's put a list together of all the secrets the kitchen holds.
Redditor u/thepapumemes wanted to talk with all the cooks out there who are trying to do new things and maybe shouldn't by asking.... What's a big No-No in cooking?
Go with Wood.
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Please don't use hard cutting boards like glass. Go with plastic or wood. Melissa-Crown
Mom is mad.
Don't leave anything on a hot stove, melted a whole plastic spatula. Mom is mad. dr302
Years ago, I had two housemates who, less than a week apart, both managed to melt Tupperware containers onto stove elements that THEY had just been using (so they both KNEW the element was hot), did half-fooled jobs of cleaning it off, and were then surprised I noticed.
I'd literally never known anyone do anything like that ever before, and it's never happened again since. I am still dumbfounded at how they managed to do it, especially the second one, because... Well, the first had just happen happened. nipaka
=/=
High heat =/= faster cook time you'll just burn the outside and inside will be raw. ReasonableBeep
I'm not sure I like this as general advice. I think people cooking with too little heat is a far more common problem than people really cranking up the temps. 454trltljrlj
Do Better.
Don't do what my wife did and put hot bacon grease in Tupperware. Had to have a long conversation with her on that and why you don't put knives blade side up in the dishwasher after one went an inch into my finger. I love her. Krigsgaeldr
Rules.
- Not sharpening your damn knives
- Not storing your tools in a clean place. If you got it out of a dirty drawer and didn't wash it, guess what, it's dirty
- Overcooking pasta
- Undercooking rice
- Using cheap or substandard ingredients. If you cook something yourself, you have control over everything that goes in. So don't use something like a sad, tasteless tomato in a salad or chocolate chips that don't melt because they contain barely any real chocolate. Taman_Should
Fluff It.
Stirring rice. When you're cooking rice on the stove and you bring the rice to a boil, just stick the lid on and turn the heat down the loan and don't touch it. Take it off the burner after 15 minutes and fluff it with the fork. If you stir it it'll make it sticky. OnlyPopcorn
Mamma Mia....
My mother doesn't time pasta she just tosses it in the water and "It's done when the sauce is done" which means whenever she happens to walk by and see the sauce is boiling. It never occurred to me until I moved out and started cooking for myself that her pasta is criminally over cooked.
She asked me why my pasta always tastes so much different than hers and I told her I cook it the amount of time the package says to. She had never thought to look on the package for cooking instructions, and I think that really explains why a lot of her meals turn out the way they do. Vixenstein
Dashed.
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A "dash" of salt is NOT a "dish" of salt. esquemo
This is why so many recipes say season to taste. Obviously not possible for raw meat, but after a while you'll gain a pretty good sense of how much to use. PiesangSlagter
Be Free.
Don't be stuck in your ways. Every moment is a learning experience, sure... you can have that go to recipe, but taking input, criticism and just being generally aware... you can pick up new tricks and ideas like a new download app. Different situations can be rectified by different solutions, varying on time, equipment and care. discordia39
Hold the Water.
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Don't use water to put out a grease fire. IAmAChronicLiar
Better options are to suffocate the fire if it's small enough to cover completely with a lid, or using a lot of baking soda.
If it's a big fire you might get in a commercial kitchen you probably have a dry chemical extinguisher on the wall near by. Retired_cyclops
Oh the Fat.
Don't pour hot fryer oil down the drain. Especially if you have pvc pipes. m31td0wn
I usually pour all my fats and oils into a separate dish, where I refrigerate it and throw it out as a solid with the trash.
Problem is, each time I do this, I go "I'll pour a little more in so I save some water and not wash this dish now".
Basically, I have a bowl full of solidified grease and fat in my fridge at home. fantastictechinique
The Meat.
Don't store raw meat with cooked meat. ParadoxXYZ
One time this fool who I was seeing decided to put cooked chicken shish kebabs on the same plate as the uncooked ones. They were just all touching each other and mixing their spices and things. I couldn't tell there were uncooked ones because they were coated... Until I took a huge bite out of some raw two day old chicken.
For various reasons, including this one, I want that man's diving tank to have structural instability. Soggy-Job
Dairy Issues.....
Not paying close attention when you're boiling milk. One second there's no bubbles, a couple seconds later it's boiling all over the place. DeathSpiral321
Oh yeah. You can usually tell when it's about to boil with how the surface changes. arrowowl
Knives Out....
catching a falling knife. don't even TRY to catch it. step back, and let it fall my guy. novaizawave
This is what killed the night king. AtheistCreationist
Click.
You have to click the tongs several times each time before you use them. Otherwise they won't work. Terror_Beer
You also have to take 1 pair in each hand and pretend you're zoidberg for 5 minutes before actually using them. Fruitbat3
taste test....
Not seasoning as you cook, not tasting as you cook. ukexpat
Made onion rings the other day. They were so good and I ate so many from the paper towel where they were cooling that I couldn't even eat my burger. Forget me they were delicious, though. naranjaspencer
For the love of God.....
For the love of god, you will keep your metal utensil away from the non stick pan.
I will take that utensil from you an poke you with it. JoeHappy
Mix it....
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Not mixing your thickener (flour, corn starch, arrowroot, etc.) with something (usually water) before adding to the liquid, unless you like unexpected spaetzle. Horatio_ATM
Yep. Saw a chef do this and I was absolutely dumbfounded. I told this story on reddit and a bunch of people argued with me calling it a roux even though a roux is supposed to be made with butter in another pan. Never put raw flour in a sauce. Iceehawk
But sometimes, the wisdom imparted by friends isn't always helpful or relevant to the situation.
Curious to hear from strangers online who could do without specific knowledge, Redditor Saibotnl1 asked:
"What life advice can just f'k off?"
These Redditors have a problem with how certain people have on outlook on life.
Time To Rest
"Sleep when you’re dead."
"Cool, but you’re going to be dead a lot sooner."
– Tag2graff
Irrelevant Sadness
"People have it so much worse than you so don’t be sad!"
– notrachelmar
"To that I like to say, 'people have it so much better than you so don't be happy!'"
– ___jupiter____
Your Life Path
"Almost anything relating to what age you must be in order to buy a house, have children, marry, have a profession, or do anything else. Seriously, everyone's life is different from everyone else's. Make your life the way you want it to be. If you so desire. Up to you."
– Frn071
On The Contrary
“Cheaters never prosper”
"Yes, they f'king do."
– waqasnaseem07
People can get out of any situation they find displeasing.
But others feel people should just "stick it out."
Ignoring Bullies
"Just ignore bullys or get someone else to handle it for you. I have never seen this work, only makes it worse. The only effective way I've seen to deal with them is by not making yourself an easy target and make them scared to f'k with you again. If going psycho on their a** is the only thing they'll respond to that's their fault. Also want to add in schools they will punish you for self defense but that punishment is only sitting around a few hours in detention or sitting around at home with a suspension. The punishment is temporary boredom, it's absolutely nothing compared to being bullied and when it's over the important message will still stand that you will not tolerate being a victim."
– User Delted
Remain to be Miserable
"Stick it out"
"Whether that's sh**ty jobs, shi**y relationships, shi**y living situations..."
"By all means don't just give up on things when you face challenges, but if something feels wrong or is wrecking your peace then take some control and change it if you can!"
– petitezoey
"Easy for you to say," might be an auto-response to these suggestions for many people.
Invitation For Recklesslessness
"Live like everyday was your last"
Yall know what people do when they learn they have a single day left to live?"
– LimeGrass619
A Possible Consequence
"I did that as a teenager and ended up homeless and addicted to heroin. Didn’t pan out for me too well."
"19 years sober though today."
– Open-Section-7263
A Practical Approach
"If I knew with certainty that I had one day left, I'd double-check all my financials, my will, and my insurance policies, make sure my wife had all of my passwords and knew where all the money was, spend the rest of the day with her and the kids, then call the medical examiner and ask to lie down on the gurney so that when I die they won't strain their back moving my remains out of my house."
– Asteriad
Nose Stuck In A Book
"Work while they sleep. Study while they party"
"That's not a recipe for success, that's a recipe for a lot of white hairs, burnout syndrome and a stroke before your 40s..."
– Khomuna
Doesn't Apply To Everyone
"Do what you love and money will follow"
"I love walking my dogs and grilling food for my friends but That sh*t doesn't pay the bills as well as my engineering degree!"
– Elons_android
While people's intentions are good, they're better off keeping their two cents in their own pockets.
Not everyone likes to hear platitudes.
Sometimes, people just want to know they're not alone with their problems over listening to unlikely solutions that are nothing more than superficial pick-me-ups.
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Stealth killers.
"A polar bear will calmly stalk up to you and start eating you alive without roaring or charging."
"Like how you would just walk across the kitchen to pick up an apple and start eating while going about your day."
"No drama, no theatrics, just murder."- Malphos101.
Polar Bear Food GIF by BBC AmericaGiphyOne way to blow off a date.
"Female dragonflies fake their deaths and crash to the ground and play dead when stalked by an unwelcome lover."- SuvenPan.
Body and soul
"Put simplistically, male angler fish bite into and get absorbed by the female during mating."-tagibear.
They call them "killer whales" for a reason.
"Orcas are one of the very few apex predators of the ocean."
"They’ll actually hunt great white sharks, rip them open and eat their livers (and sometimes heart) as a sort of ocean delicacy."- TheRestForTheWicked.
"Killer whales will slap a seal into the air resulting in them dying from the fall just because."
"Not to get food or defense, but just because they’re bored."- FuzzyRoach642.
Killer Whale GIF by Nature on PBSGiphySomething to keep in mind before kissing...
"Lobsters pee out of their faces."- NotACyclopsHonest.
Something that weird looking can't be real.
"The Royal Society thought that a taxidermied platypus was a prank when they saw the first one."
"Apparently naturalists would frequently send each other frankenstein'd abominations for goofs."- bjanas.
Speedy emasculation
"Camels have specially evolved canine teeth for the express purpose of biting off balls of other male camels- OneNastyJaguar.
wildlife camel GIFGiphy"Let's get ready to rumble!"
"In Tasmanian Devil mating season, the male has to beat the female into submission."
If he fails, the female beats the male up."- bugboyjohnny.
A very brief time on this earth
"The honeybees you see in your yard are in the last 2 to 3 weeks of their lives."- Fit-Environment-8140.
Fascinating facts indeed.
Though, after learning some of these facts, best to behold these creatures within the safety of a zoo or aquarium.
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