Reddit user, KingTonza asked:
"What would be your Main reason to go back in time?"
and long-story-short, we're all greedy curious saps who clearly could never be trusted with a timeline.
*stares in Ashton Kutcher face*
Pets
"I had a cat that died in 2018. He was the best little guy. I’d like to go back and sneak into my old apartment after past me left for work for the day and just hang out with him sometimes."
-BatmanandReuben
"Huh I like that. Wholesome and also side-steps the problem of running into past selves."
-nairbeg
"I never had cats but will do this with my dogs."
"I just lost my boy last year. Even though I still have my little girl, I still miss him so much. I will visit all the pets I've lost throughout the years."
-enigma1021
Jurassic Nope
Confused Jurassic Park GIF by VidiotsGiphy"I really want to see dinosaurs."
"I know, I know, odds are high it would end badly for me. I just really love dinosaurs."
-VinnieMcVince
"I'm sure they want to see you too."
-Caperdiaa
Lesbians?
"The Libyans chasing me in a mall parking lot at 2am with an RPG."
-JellyCream
"That's heavy."
-JustDeleteSystem32
"I'm sorry but I really really misread this and missed the movie reference because I thought you said lesbians"
-duuckyy
"Now THAT'S heavy"
-Strong_Comedian_3578
The Necessary Nerd Answer
"To stop the burning of the library of Alexandria"
-thetomahawkkid
"When I was an adolescent and reading porno mags, I can still remember reading one of the models saying that the burning of the library at Alexandria was the greatest crime in history."
"Quite an intellectual that model was."
-YoteViking
"This would make the year 2000 be the year 2500 technologically"
-Lo23co7mcpe
"So. Much. Lost. Learning."
- [Reddit]
Best. Party. Ever.
happy homer simpson GIFGiphy"Stephen Hawking’s time travel party."
-childeroland79
"The only appropriate reason to time travel."
-Riverrat423
"I wouldn't go. Or if I did I'd swear him to secrecy."
-rydan
"For all we know the place could of been packed with time travelers, and he took that info to the grave."
-DARTHDIAMO
Money
"Buy bitcoin when it first came out..."
-emvaz
"Kicking myself for not buying some back in 2016."
"I worked with a guy who had a sizable amount and I would make fun of him for it. I was stupid and knew pretty much nothing about investing back then."
"I had about $50k just chilling in my savings. I could be a pretty rich man right now, instead I'm broke and saddled with student loan debt. Fml."
-ParticularBiscotti66
"I wanted to buy some back in 2009 but had no idea how. Probably would have been scammed in the end anyways."
-Ferndawg69
"Imagine the guy who spent thousands of bitcoins on a pizza"
-Biz_Consultant305
Overlord
"With the knowledge I have now, travel 20 years in the past and avoid a lot of mistakes... and become overlord of the whole world obviously."
-Goodcopbadcop33
"I don't know. That seems like a lot of responsibility."
"Can I be overlord of like 50 acres in the woods and a dope cabin?"
-wrecktus_abdominus
"Overlord is good. Me? I prefer All-Being, Master of Time & Space!"
-DavidSkywalkerPugh
"Most mistakes are healthy and are what shape us. I wouldn't have fixed any mistakes if I got a million dollars for it."
-WonderfulAirport4226
Curiosity Killed The Redditor
"Honestly just to see how everyday life was in like the 1400's for the average person. Feel like that's not something we know a lot about, or maybe just I don't know about."
-ThebigGreenWeenie16
"This seems like a bit of a foolish wish."
"I want it too."
"I'd want to bring along a bottle of antibiotics and a bar of deodorant soap, though."
-Bekiala
"It was probably crap. Working long hours of hard labour is pretty much your only option. Unless you are born into aristocracy and live on an estate."
"So like ... you'd probably already be dead, depending on how old you are."
-AxeellYoung
"This is a great choice, but I'm afraid that the diseases that you carry will be destructive for the people in the 1400s"
-bountyhunter205
"Wait, what if a time traveling Redditor was the real source of the plague?"
- [Reddit]
History's Mysteries
"To witness firsthand important events from the past and see how accurate our history books are"
-EezyRawlins
"Let me know who actually killed JFK."
-BigTuna0890
"I wonder if we were there as eyewitnesses maybe it would just seem like chaos . . . hmmm . . . what event would you like to witness."
-Bekiala
"Too many to list, honestly, but definitely the battles of Alesia, Cannae, and the siege of Orleans, as well as the sermon on the mount, and the (start of the) Hijrah."
-EezyRawlins
The Paradox
back to the future great scott GIFGiphy"I want to go back in time to prevent myself from going back in time"
-darth_shinji_ikari
"This is the true time travel paradox"
-bountyhunter205
"Are you implying that you have already travelled back in time?"
-Realistic_Analyst_26
So yeah ... maybe let's just not.
I have a sneaking suspicion we'd get ourselves in a lot of trouble and end up jumping way more than sharks.
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I love facts and statistics. It's always good to know the popular averages.
How Much?
jesus GIFGiphy"If you earned $180,000 per day since Jesus was born, you still wouldn’t have as much money as Jeff Bezos."
water_fountain_
Teeth
"Of the 335 million people living in the United States, approximately 23 million adults are completely edentulous (have no teeth)."
toothfixingfiend
"My guess is it's become quite common to get full dentures, including pulling out teeth for them. That's like 8 percent of the population, and I basically never ever see people with visibly no teeth. But I know several who have full dentures and probably see a lot more without realizing it."
Ok-Control-787
Speed Racer
"Racing car drivers in the 1950s, 1960s and even into the 1970s had a lower survival rate than WWII fighter pilots. Meaning those racing drivers were statistically more likely to die than those flying in battle. Crazy."
Haunebu52
"To add to this my interesting statistic is that there’s still around 240k WWII vets still kicking. But 234 die on average every day."
thegrandpineapple
100 Trips
"I'm an Uber driver with around 750 trips, so statistically I've been alone in a car with around 7 or so psychopaths."
KeyParticular8086
"I did Uber a few years back, maybe did 100 trips. I often wonder what is the worst thing ever done by any of those passengers. Aside from the drunk girl who peed herself on St Patrick’s day."
420buttbabies69
DUI
drunk drivers GIFGiphy"The average drunk driver drives under the influence more than 80 times before being arrested for the first time."
Sleepy_potato21
I feel 10X smarter already!!
"don't go there"
Fishing Fail GIF by ConesulfozGiphy"Protected fishing zones in Europe are more overfished than unprotected zones. People hear 'don't go there' and then go there."
let-123
Right and Left
"My favorite statistic, as a left-handed person myself, is that southpaws die, on average, 13 years younger than right-handed people. I had always heard this attributed to the fact that power tools are generally designed for right-handed users, making many of them awkward and dangerous for left-handed people."
"But the real explanation is far more interesting. See, until the middle of the 20th century, being left-handed was heavily stigmatized, and often viewed as a sign of the devil. Teachers would not allow their left-handed students to actually use their dominant hand."
"This actually proved to be somewhat effective. So as left-handedness became more accepted, lefty children were no longer forced to use their right hand, but older people who were naturally left-handed but forced to use their right hand continued to identify as right-handed."
"Because of this, the average age of self-described left-handed people was significantly lower than it would be if not for the previous generation being forced into right-handedness. And when the average age of a group of people is lower, the average age of death tends to follow suit."
Daniaghju
1% to 27%
"Some EMS agencies in Arizona and Nevada have been using CCR (cardiocerebral resuscitation) instead of the standard CPR (cardiopulmonary resuscitation). Basically starting by doing 200 chest compression non stop instead of 30 with 2 rescue breaths."
"Within a year of implementing it, EMS providers reported that their save rate went from 1% to 27%. This last year that number has gone up to around 50%. Furthermore, the saves are no longer just getting a pulse/heartbeat back, the people are now more often neurologically intact."
poizunman206
On the Waves
"The most dangerous world record to attempt is the water speed record, with an 85% mortality rate. The reason being that at the speeds they reach (300+ mph), air resistance is so strong that if the boat tilts even slightly too far up, it will completely flip and crash into the water at insanely fast speeds. And as you can imagine, it's pretty easy to tilt too far up when you're constantly bouncing on waves."
AppleEnslaver
Drainage
"It would take 1.2 million mosquitoes, each sucking at once, to completely drain the average human of blood."
ofsquire
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People are just creepy in general. So this should be weird.
Call Dateline NBC
Keith Morrison Chin Touch GIF by Dateline NBCGiphy"'Enjoy the rest of your night at the dance. When you go out to the parking lot, I'm going to kill you.'"
"Didn't see him again for the rest of the night and had an escort to my car, but dude was creepy as f**k."
ThePhiff
Old Navy Issues
"I was 7 years old and in Old Navy with my mum and sister. They went to try on clothes and I didn’t know that and had a panic attack trying to find them. Some older woman said she’d take me in and raise me and not to worry. For some reason I thought it was better than being alone forever at least. I was with her for a bit until I saw my Mum walk out of the dressing room. To this day I think about what if I left with her…"
Still_loading_1
I gave him one...
"I was on my way to my friend's house when a man(probably homeless) walked over to me and said 'Give me some money, I am hungry.' I said I don't have any money to which he replied 'you have two $5, give me one.' I don't know how he did it but I had exactly two $5 bills in my pocket, I gave him one."
SuvenPan
Dead Eyes
"As a child, I lost track of my mom while walking around after spotting a friend. It was a tiny town; the kind where you know everybody at least by sight, so I didn’t freak out, just went looking for her. I asked an arcade owner if he had seen her, and he said: 'Yeah, she went inside to the back. Why don’t you go in to look for her?'”
"My stranger danger alarm went off like crazy inside my head. I just said ‘no!’ and ran away. I swear this dude had dead AF eyes. Turns out she was just about a half a block ahead and was walking back to me. I never told her about the creepy man, and I regret it to this day thinking he might have actually lured a poor kid in."
Ihlita
Ya hungry?'
Cookie Monster Eating GIF by Sesame StreetGiphy"I'm walking through a parking lot between cars when right by my ear I hear an adult man ask in a syrupy-sweet voice 'Hey, cookie, ya hungry?'"
"I turn in shock/disgust to see he's sitting in a car with a little girl, sees me and says incredulously 'I was talking to my daughter.' My sister who witnessed this laughed til she cried."
Amish_Cyberbully
It's like humans can't hear themselves. Have we no censor?
'do you want any chips'
chips GIFGiphy"I feel bad, there’s some legit scary stuff here, by comparison mine seems significantly less 'eerie.'"
"Walking home from work and a bloke screams Up in a car, slams the brakes and gets out. I assume I’m already being done over and accept my fate (it was a long day at work, I didn’t have fight back in me). Anyway, the bloke jumps to his boot (trunk?) swings it open and just screams 'do you want any chips' I said no thanks mate, and off he angrily sighs jumps back in his car and buggars off."
davetrials
my family needs me!
"Not a stranger, but my brother stood up in the middle of a catatonic seizure and said these 3 things: 'Where am I? I have to get back to work in a few hours. My family… my family needs me!' - while looking around the room confused, and as he said that his eyes rolled back and suffered a second attack."
"He was 12 when this happened, and no, he didn’t have a job or a family of his own. I was there in the ER room when it happened while he was being attended by nurses. When he finally recovered consciousness a few hours later, he didn’t remember a single thing that happened that night and had no idea of the things he said."
AndyVilla14
Tuck and Roll
"I was in an Uber and the driver asked if had any kids and I said no. He was shocked and I asked why? And I kid you not he said 'I’m shocked no guy has ever tried. You’re a beautiful girl, I know I would have.' In that moment I was considering tucking and rolling out of the car but we were about to hit the highway and I didn’t want to be late for my flight 🙃."
Brilliant-Divine
Hey, you’re a great person!
"One day in high school, I was walking to Burger King and thinking about how much I didn’t like myself. When I got to Burger King, this homeless man inside yelled out to me across the restaurant 'Hey, you’re a great person! You’re a great person.'"
"I casually said thanks and left, like I wasn’t both stunned and creeped out. Reading through the comments, I see a lot of similar experiences with homeless people knowing what you’re thinking or details of your past. Amazing and creepy."
7Birdies
there was nobody there...
anatomy preach GIFGiphy"I'm a doctor. When I was working in psychiatry, a schizophrenic patient in the Emergency Department who I was clerking in asked me who the man in the turban behind me was (there was nobody there). I asked him to describe man and he described my grandfather who had been dead for several years perfectly."
amarghir1234
People really need to read the room before speaking. Good night.
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