Let's face it we've all done things we'd rather our parents didn't find out about. Well these brave souls share some secrets they would NEVER tell their parents.
1/24. I shot myself in the leg when I was 8 and fixed the hole with a wad of toilet paper and some duct tape. There's still metal in there 20 years later.
2/24. As an adult I was visiting my Mom. She was divorced from her 2nd husband and at the time she had a "roommate". One day they were at work and I answered the phone in my Mom's bedroom since it was the closest phone to me at the time. I needed to take a message and opened the top drawer of the nightstand on instinct to find a piece of paper. Big mistake. Right on top was a double sided dildo, a Hustler magazine on top of a stack of Hustlers, and a love letter to her roommate. Trust me when I say that I only read the first sentence or so and put it back in the drawer. Here we are almost 20 years later, lives with a different woman now, she's never come out of the closet, I've never outed her and never will. It's her decision. I love her no matter what and I think I'll call her today because it's been a couple weeks.
3/24. My grandmother had a collection of fairly expensive rings and when she died she left one to every woman in the family. I was 13 and told not to wear mine out of the house because it was a bit loose on me. I did and lost it within a month of her death. Every now and then my mom asks about it and I'm just like "yeah it's in a box in one of my drawers, I don't wear it because I don't want to lose it."
4/24. Stole my dads car when I had no licence and then had to race him home so that I didn't get caught with it. Made it in time. I will never tell him this. Ever.
5/24. Less than a year after my brother bought his house (with considerable help from our parents), he and a friend were looking at a gun in his living room. Being young and careless, his buddy pulled the trigger, blowing a nice, big hole in the refrigerator our parents bought for bro. It was a nice fridge, too. After promptly sh*tting himself, he and the friend hauled a** to a local second-hand appliance store, and bought a reasonably similar-looking fridge, which stands in his kitchen to this day.
6/24. I didn't slip in the shower. I fell through the wall while my girlfriend and I were banging.
More confessions on the next page!
7/24. I used to play my game boy advanced every night for about 2 years, never told my parents and certainly don't plan on it.
8/24. When I was like 10-12 I threw a soccer trophy at my door during a tantrum. It put a hole in my side, but not all the way through.
I stuck a bumper sticker for my favorite college team over it.
I'm 28 and it's still there.
9/24. I stole my moms earrings to give to my girlfriend in 3rd grade. She never found out...
10/24. Burnt a portion of our fence down when I was 14 by putting out a cigarette on it. Told my parents it just spontaneously caught fire and I heroically helped our neighbour put out the fire before our house burned down.
11/24. When I was in primary school I was playing tag and thought it would be a good idea to go through the out-of-bounds area. Unfortunately there was a small rabbit hole or something that I tripped on and then fell and cut my forehead on a rock just on my hairline. Unaware of how bad the injury was, I just continued playing and at some point I ran past a teacher on duty and she said I had to go to the nurse (there was apparently blood dripping down my face). Turns out I had to get three stitches. Naturally, Worksafe were all over this sh*t. They had to know how something so serious could have occurred, and asked me to take them to where it happened. I was really scared and couldn't tell them I went out of bounds because I couldn't get in trouble. So I told them that I didn't really remember but would have a look anyway. Turns out that I found a bolt sticking out of a pole and blamed that. Worksafe audited the whole school and found several more, so we were not allowed outside at lunchtime until it was fixed. The only problem was that the people who came to fix it, couldn't start for a week. So every day for a week we were stuck in classrooms at lunch and recess time, all because of me. Still haven't told my parents.
More unbelievable stories on the next page!
12/24. I got lost in the woods hiking. The police had to rescue me. It was a whole big scene. I texted them with the little battery life I had on my phone and told them I was staying at a friends, so that they wouldn't worry. The police eventually found me, and I got home at 5AM. They thought I was at a friends, and I've never told them the story.
13/24. When I was 8 I used to like sleeping in my grandmas bed with her because she was over 90 and had the most comfortable bed in the universe. One night I peed the bed having one of those dreams where I pee during the dream (don't fall into the trap kids). When we woke up, my grandma was under the assumption that she had peed the bed and not me. I just acted like I was super understanding because of her old age. I'm sorry Mama Nene.
14/24. I put my foot through my bedroom door after I lost an online match on UFC 09. The guy kicked my a** and then pm'd me abuse so I went bezerk. I told my dad it was over a girl who faked pregnancy with me and that she was phoning me. Truth is I hadn't spoken to her in months and didn't want to admit it was over a video game.
15/24. That the month I was "living a month in Spain" was actually spent in jail. I had friends to post fake Instagram pictures for me too.
16/24. When my dad and I lived with his then fiance years ago, her oldest daughter and I used to fool around.
17/24. I skipped college for like 4 months.
I was studying to become an english translator. The first month there was so f*cking bad, I couldn't stand the subjects, and as I hadn't finished high school yet (exams left), I couldn't keep going to college anyway.
So I spent the next months pretending I was going to class, while actually taking really long bus trips back and forth and reading books near the river.
Its the douchiest thing I've done and I can't let my parents know.
18/24. My dad recently asked me how I paid for my college when he knows I don't have a job. I'm never going to tell him that I became a local drug lord for 24 months and moved hundreds of lbs of pot through frat houses and cashed out when I was free of student loans.
More unbelievable secrets on the next page!
19/24. When I was 13 and my little bro was 11, we stayed at the mall WAY past when we were supposed to come home, like a few hours. This was the time before cell phones.
On the way home we hatched a scheme. We devised a lie that involved us being detained by a mall security guard for running down a back hallway of the mall.
We even came up with a real person to base this security guard on, in case we were questioned separately. We pretty much described to our mom the pro wrestler Dean Malenko. It was perfect.
Little did we know, there was a guy in our area posing as a cop and abducting children. Mom called the cops. My brother and I separately had to give statements about what happened.
The thing is, the lie held up. The cops told Mom that there was a good chance this was the guy. IIRC there may have even been a little blurb in the news about a sighting of this guy at the mall we frequented.
We threw a wrench in an investigation, caused a minor local scare, scared the sh*t out of our Mom, and ruined our freedom to walk to the mall by ourselves for 6 months, all because we didn't want to get into trouble for being 3 hours late getting home.
20/24. I broke my moms waterbed having sex, the same night she came home really drunk and when she woke up in the morning, she thought she did and didn't remember.
21/24. When I was a junior in college, I lived off campus with five other guys in a shady neighborhood. One Tuesday night while a few of us were high and watching tv, a couple thugs busted our door, broke in, and robbed us at gunpoint. They were looking for a drug dealer. It turns out they had the wrong house; the dude from whom everyone at school bought their weed, coke, and pills lived one house over. (None of us ratted him out because that would've brought more trouble)
These guys tore our place apart looking for our nonexistent stash, and when they couldn't find anything, they grabbed some random worthless decorations, getting antsy to bounce. One of my roommates- big, burly, but usually reserved- grabbed one of the guys as they were leaving. He must've snapped. The thug turns around and lets two shots fly that both hit my friend: one in the leg, the other in the gut.
He lived but was in the hospital recuperating for a month. None of us were able to recover from what happened, so after the short, fruitless investigation was over, we withdrew from school and went home.
I stayed until the end of the semester. When I went home, I just told my parents that I wanted to transfer to a school closer to home. I never told them why I made that decision. I have two younger brothers. I didn't want my parents to be afraid to send them away to school; I didn't want my brothers to be afraid to leave home and explore.
22/24. I found their "home movie" when I was looking for something to enjoy alone...
23/24. My dog ate a whole pot cookie left out once. My mom thought the neighbor tried to poison my dog by throwing something in a Ziploc bag over the fence since the poor pup was falling over and 'fainting'. In reality the pup stole my Friday night from me.
24/24. I went on Disney channel's website without their permission. I'm gunna burn for that one.
Some people were more hesitant to share their most personal stories.
"Nice try mom."
Redditor ChrisVIII wanted to discuss the best ways to make living better, in the most simple of ways.
They asked:
"What improved your quality of life so much, you wish you did it sooner?"
Pay attention in school.
Don't drink and drive.
Two very small and life altering decisions I wish I could've done better.
Walk Away
"Walking. After years of trying to run, I simply started walking. 5-7 miles a day in good weather. It is literally life changing in terms of mental and physical health." ~ Merlin560
GiphyAdopt...
"Adopted my block. (adoptoneblock.org) Instead of being sad about trash everywhere, I go out a couple times a week with a grabber and a bucket and just clean it up. Fresh air, a chance to connect with neighbors in a positive way, eyes on the street, neighborhood looks nicer and feels safer, zero downside."
"Adoptoneblock might only be in Oregon, but a picker is like 20 bucks for a good one (I recommend Arcmate brand; they're metal inside and last forever) and 5-gallon buckets are everywhere. Even if you only do the block around your house, it makes a huge difference. Imagine if every block got adopted." ~ binkkit
"helping people out"
"I stopped saying yes to things I didn't want to do." ~ VinnyRuns
"Holy sh*t me too! I used to do hair and eventually once I was working for myself I would say yes to literally everything all the time. Including 'helping people out' and stuff like that. I loved making people happy but I eventually got more and more miserable and ended up with a pretty heavy drug addiction."
"A bunch of years later and some really helpful therapy and I work a job that I actually love and no longer do hair for anyone other than my girlfriend or very close family. Only took 16 years of doing something I didn't really love to finally break and make the changes I needed to get what I want out of life." ~ arcaneresistance
Sail Away
"Taking a yearly vacation. My family never traveled growing up so I didn't know what I was missing out on but I have a good paying job with time off benefits and my wife and I have been taking a vacation every year since we got married, even if it's just something simple the time away from the usual day-to-day does wonders." ~ brshimp
Push No
"Turning off all push notifications except for essentials like financial apps or important contacts." ~ cyan_reynolds
GiphyI'm learning so much already.
And HOW do I turn off those notifications?
Swallow
"Swallowed my pride and got a blue collar job. For almost 20 years I followed my mother's advice, work inside so it's warm when it's cold outside and cool when it's warm outside. Now I deliver packages outside and the weather doesn't bother me. I have no boss on my shoulder and I can do my job however I want." ~ veldrinshade
Restful Nights
"CPAP machine. If you snore at all, you owe it to yourself to get a sleep study and see what is going on. It literally changed my life getting one. I went from constant caffeine throughout the day just to function to feeling rested for the first time in years. Especially if you are overweight like I am, your heart is stopping multiple times an hour as you struggle to breathe while snoring."
"It sucks getting used to the machine (especially if you have to wear the full face mask), but man that first night of actual deep sleep will be life changing. I cannot recommend it enough and I have convinced at least 5 people that I know to get one and they all say the same thing, should have done it years ago." ~ bonez59054
The Top View
"Quit my job and moved to the mountains. I realized I cared more about what I did with my free time than whatever work I did, so I got a job where my SO and I wanted to live. We live in a cute mountain town now and every day watching the sunrise at home gives me 1000% more happiness than anything ever in Illinois." ~ starciv14
Water and bedding are essentials to happy living.
Don't be afraid, you can always start doing better now.
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