A date has to be pretty bad - if not completely horrible - to want to get up and leave right in the middle of it. Here, 19 people who left in the middle of a date share their crazy stories.
1/19. Had been on a couple of dates with this guy. At his place, watching a movie. He climbs on top of me. I tell him I'm not comfortable. He does it again, adding, "I like shy girls."
Date over.
2/19. He turned up drunk, and brought pictures of him during his time in Iraq. he took me through painfully slowly, one-by-one. I politely excused myself to go for a cigarette and he lost it - accused me of being rude, shouting about how no wonder I was single, and then sat on my coat so I couldn't run away. He said that even if I left, he would follow me and make me sorry.
He went on a rant about how all graduates are entitled dickheads and that he doesn't agree with women going to university. He had insisted on paying for my drink, so when I came back in I said I wanted to go, and he insisted that I OWE HIM a drink, because he was going up Camden to meet his mates and didn't want to be behind on the drinks front. Fine, whatever, he's CLEARLY insane, I'll just buy him one to shut him up then I can leave. At the bar, he begins throwing ice at the barmaid when her back is turned, then when she turns around accusingly, points at me and says 'she did it'. The barmaid and I both know that it was him. After he has his pint in his hand he goes back to the table, and I confess to said barmaid that I'm on the worst date of my life and want to run away. She pours me a shot of tequila, tells the bouncer to distract him, then helped me run away, as he banged on the window and shouted, "I'll find you."
3/19. She was from a "nuclear family" with lots of money. In itself, not a bad thing. However, she proceeded to go on a rant about "trashy" people from divorced/remarried and single parent families, and how those people would never amount to anything, that sort of thing. She also mentioned how she could tell I was from a traditional family with wholesome values, not some loser raised by a single mother or influenced by a runaway, deadbeat father (her words) because I was clearly raised right.
At this point, I get up from the table, track down the wait staff, and ask for separate checks. As she proceeds to call me an a**hole for not paying for her meal and acts confused about why, I tell her not to contact me again, but that I'll be sure to pass on to my single mother that people are noticing how well she raised me.
4/19. She would not stop talking about babies. Her friends had them, her sisters had them, her brothers had them and made sure it was perfectly, crystal clear, she did not have one.
Yikes.
Continue reading on the next page!
5/19. I met a gorgeous girl at the gym but we didn't talk too much before I invited her out. Next day we're having drinks and appetizers and she had to be the most shallow person Ive ever met. The whole half hour or so she kept telling me what a "guy" should be doing for her and what she expects from her man and how she should be treated, and so on.
So I get up to go to the bathroom and have a moment of silence to think about it. After leaving the bathroom I told the waitress to bring the check and went back to the table.
Another 5-6 minutes of her telling me what she expects, and needs, and wants, the waitress drops off the bill.
Startled and surprised by the sudden unsolicited bill she finally shuts up for a moment and I get to say something.
So I asked her, "So you want and expect all this from the guy but what do you offer, what do you bring to the table?"
She looks at me like a sheep would look at the computer and says, " Well, I bring myself, isn't that worth enough?" I look at the bill, 24 bucks, drop off $15 at the table and tell her, "No, you're not worth the 12 dollars, and walk off.
6/19. Met a guy online who lived about an hour away. We agreed to meet up closer to me and he told me he was just going to stay in town that night. I figured he had friends here or whatever. He gets to the date and he is clearly about 15 years older than his pictures represented. I figured I would finish the meal then GTFO. After dinner he insisted on walking me to my car and then said, "Ok, so I'll just follow you back to your place then?" I was quite shocked and a little scared for my safety so I said ok and then ripped out of that parking lot before he could get to his car.
7/19. I didn't realize I was on a date! My coworker mentioned we should grab dinner while finishing up a project we were working on, which seemed like a good idea, because it was after work, and I was hungry. While I was reading over his draft, he asked me ''how serious are things with you and (your fiancee)?'' Well, we've set a date, and I have a dress fitting coming up, so pretty f*cking serious.
8/19. He brought another girl with him.
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9/19. I had joined a new sports club and there was one guy who was quiet and kind of just hung around the periphery of the group. I felt kinda bad for him so was always trying to bring him into conversations and talk to him. One night we all went out for drinks after the game and I talked to him for awhile. Conversation was hard work but he seemed like a nice guy. He texted and asked me if I wanted to go out for coffee. I wasn't really interested but knew given how quiet he was that it probably took a ton of nerve to text me that and I thought maybe in a 1:1 environment he would be more comfortable and I could get to know him a little more.
We met at the coffee shop and he had a big backpack with him. We ordered drinks then chatted, with me again doing most of the talking - he rarely initiated but would answer questions. About a half hour in he said he had a few things to show me to let me get to know him better. He then did a show and tell from his backpack pulling out various items and pictures and telling me about them.
Some were kind of interesting (a family trip) and some I had no idea how to respond to (here is a picture of how I had my hair cut in grade 8). He had stuffed animals and lots of items from his childhood. I kept trying to bring the conversation to the present to find out if the item linked to a current interest or hobby but he kind of had the story about each item rehearsed and he would go right back to the show and tell. Eventually the table was full of stuff and I tried to politely say that I had seen enough and change the topic. He told me had still had more to show me. I ended up saying I felt sick and left. I felt kinda bad but it was just getting too weird.
10/19. I told her I was color blind, she recoiled and said it was "gross" and sat there looking at me like I had the plague or something. I just sort of got up and left. It was really odd.
11/19. She brought up politics & religion, attacked my stance on both then pestered me about my financial stability all before they brought out the bread.
12/19. OKCupid date - emailed back and forth, had some common interests, seemed like we would get along. We met up and got food, a couple drinks, seemed to be getting along well. Then he starts talking about how good he is at Karaoke. He's been in contests and won first place, he and his friends go all the time, etc. I tell him I've only done karaoke a few times, when very drunk and with a big group of friends. I also mention that I'm pretty sure I'm tone deaf. He tells me there is a Karaoke place only one block away!!! I tell him I'm not interested. He tells me you get your own little booth. No one else will even hear you. You can pick whatever songs you want!!! No waiting while other people sing!!! It's clear he's not giving up, so I grab two shots of vodka and say fine, I'll try it. We go to the karaoke lounge and get our booth and he does three or four songs perfectly. I start my first song and he starts criticizing me, and pointing out what i'm doing wrong WHILE I'm trying to sing. Then he picks up the other mic and starts singing over me. I say f*ck this and just get up to leave. He chases after me and tells me -" I need you to pay for half of this". It's $60. I look in my wallet, take out the only cash I had and said, "Here's 20 dollars, and you can go f*ck yourself". Then he follows me to the bus stop and tried to make idle chit chat while I wait to get the f*ck away from him.
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13/19. I took a girl once to my favorite Mexican restaurant.
She proceeded to pretty much give me a run down of her past 5 boyfriends, why the relationship failed, how each was in bed, what they all did for a living, where they all took her for vacations. My eyes started to cross, and my blood was starting to boil. I was relegated to "un huh's" and "wow, that guy is an asshole" responses. She seemed very disinterested in anything I had to say, and I was fucking done.
As I was about to get up and walk out, the waiter brought my fajitas. So you know what...I just rolled with it. Started asking questions about her ex boyfriends. All the while, I was stuffing my face with tasty tasty fajitas. Honestly, most of the dudes sounded like pretty good guys, but I put on a brave face and shit talked them in between bites.
Once I was full, I got up, said I needed to go to the bathroom, paid for my half of the meal at the register, and just left. She was busy texting someone, and didn't even notice.
On my way home, she texted me and asked me where I was. Told her that I left, and that maybe she should ask one of her ex boyfriends to come and pick her up since she spent the last 45 minutes doing nothing but talking about them.
Got a couple f*ck you's, you're an a**hole texts on the drive home...but its been radio silent ever since.
14/19. Blind date, Indian restaurant. First thing he does is produce a folder of photos of him and various celebrities. Shows me them, one by one. He keeps...clutching at me.
After about 15 minutes of this, I say, "This isn't really - I don't think we're compatible. I think I should go" and get up to leave. He stood up too, and shouted at me as I left. No, I did not look back.
15/19. Picked up a girl for a first date. On the drive to eat she's tapping away on her phone a few times. Get to the place to eat, sits down, tapping away texting. A few minutes later, texting again. I excuse myself to use the bathroom....and leave.
16/19. Yes, we met at a nicer restaurant, sat down and had a decent conversation.
We started to look over the menu and the wine list. I asked if she had a preference regarding the wine. She said no. I ordered a bottle of Pinot Grigio, since I didn't know her preferences or what she might order: kind of a nice middle of the road selection.
When it came, the waitress brought two glasses, did the usual tasting and, when she went to pour my date a glass, she quickly declined. The waitress poured me a glass and left. I asked her if she'd prefer another drink.
She launched into what I can only describe as a Temperance Lecture. She was stridently anti-alcohol and my ordering wine had clearly upset her.
This was a first date, so I had no way of knowing any of this and had she let me know her thoughts ahead of time, say, when I asked her preference or when I was ordering, I'd have gotten something acceptable to her. Instead, I was getting a lecture that would. not. stop. I got called a drunk and rude and insensitive repeatedly by someone I just met in the course of about 5 minutes.
After a few minutes the waitress came over and asked if everything was OK. I told her "No." Told my date that our date was over, and asked the waitress if I could be re-seated at the bar.
The waitress and my date both looked shocked. My date picked up her sweater and purse and stalked out. I picked up my glass. The waitress picked up the bottle and led me to the bar.
Continue reading on the next page!
17/19. It was an OkCupid date and we met for coffee after talking awhile. He had a sour look on his face when I got there, so I wasn't expecting too much. When our coffee came out, he said "I'm glad you didn't ask me to pay for that, because I don't think you should be drinking something with that many calories." I was prepared to roll my eyes and let it go, but then he ranted for about 15 minutes about how women were getting too fat and how they should be pressured to lose more weight. Eventually I stopped him with a, "You saw my picture! Why did you even agree to coffee?" His answer was, "I was hoping you had lost weight since the picture was taken, because no one would put themselves on a dating app in that condition."
18/19. It was the second date. He was complaining because I wasn't wearing a low-cut top. So f*ck him, I straight up left.
19/19. Got set up with a guy. I knew he wasn't my type but figured what the f*ck, let's try something new. He took me out to the standard date restaurant in my city, which is boring but the food is good. Then all he could talk about is how amazing his Alma Mater (Ohio State) is and how much Michigan sucks. Miraculously, at some point, he asked about my family.
I gave him a quick rundown and mentioned my female cousin was married with a couple kids. He asked what her husband did and I said her WIFE stayed at home with their children....and he responded with, "Oh she's a lez? Was she sexually abused as a kid? I mean, that gay shit isn't normal so that sucks you have to deal with it." Instead of arguing and questioning him, I just got my ass up and left - I didn't even say a word. The look on his face was incredulous. To this day, I can't hear or see anything about Ohio State University without thinking about that piece of shit.
I'm best when I'm at my laziest. Ok, that's a lie, but I don't care.
Zzzz...
Donald Duck Sleeping GIFGiphy"On weekends I sleep for 12-14 hours. I usually wake up a few times but I dream so much during those long sleeps that it’s basically become a recreation type thing and I love it."
HouseOfZenith
Warm it up...
"When I use the microwave, I’ll heat food for 1:11 or 2:22 because I can’t be bothered to move my lazy fingers."
fysicks
"I figured out that my microwave's turntable rotates once every 12 seconds. So, everything I cook is on a multiple of 12 seconds so that it always ends up at the front of the microwave when it's done cooking, and I don't have to reach all the way to the back of the microwave to get my food out."
unittwentyfive
Bang
"When I was a kid on a school day, I had this routine where I'd stick my legs out of the bed and bang around on the floor so it sounded like I got out of bed and then just lie there for a few more minutes."
bewarethechameleon
"Did you also get your toothbrush wet and squirt a wee bit of toothpaste in your mouth rather than actually brush your teeth? If so I may be your mom and you weren’t fooling me or the dentist and you sure weren’t fooling the plaque that attacked."
TigerLily98226
Pockets
"Whenever I clean the house I put on my housecoat with really big pockets. I just walk from room to room and put things in my pocket that don’t belong in that room. Once my pockets are full I go to each room and empty my pockets putting what is from each room in that room."
kindhearttbc
"That's not lazy... that's productive AF."
throwaway92715
Toss It
Pippi Longstocking Chaos GIF by ZDFGiphy"I don’t fold the fitted sheet. Just ball it up and place it in the closet."
SpaghettiSquash33
I just see people human. Don't he so hard on yourselves.
12 Hours
Tired Fight Club GIFGiphy"I once watched 12 hours of the golf Network because the batteries were dead in my remote control. I don't know if that's lazy or depressed."
sadbirdfox
I swear I was...
"I was taught to make a bed properly as a child, I swear I was. Hospital corners and everything. I even know how to fold a fitted sheet, thanks to my auntie, who's an Air Force nurse and therefore doesn't consider little problems like 'non-Euclidean geometry' to be a reason not to do it properly. The second I found out about duvet covers, that was over. Sure, it doesn't look as tidy, but five minutes a week plus 10 seconds in the morning instead of 10 minutes a day? I can live with that."
katie-kaboom
The System
"I don't fold laundry anymore. I have a system of laundry baskets like this where clothes gets sorted by type (pants, t-shirts, sweaters, etc). Most of my clothes is wrinkle free, and for the few pieces that aren't I just throw them on a hanger in the bathroom while I take a steamy shower."
User deleted
Genius!!
"Before I get out of bed in the morning, I will grab the top corners of my sheets with my hands and prop up the bottom two with my feet and move it into place. Then I slide out of bed without ruffling anything. Just like that, my bed is made."
Markymark142
"My sister has to do this before she goes to bed at night, even is she made the bed that morning. It's an odd little quirk and mostly harmless."
mel2mdl
Yummy
andrew huang pots GIF by SoundflyGiphy"Just eating food straight out of the pan."
refrshmts_N_narcotcs
None of that sounds so bad. That sounds... like my life. Don't judge!!
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Did you check the forecast?
"We sure are having a lot of weather"- r_Ju_Tacular.
"As a British person, the conversation usually starts like this:"
“'You alright?'"
”Yeah you?”'
“'Yeah not too bad, weathers a bit sh*t innit?'”
“'Yeah”'.
"The end."- chelstippins
Cloud Storm GIF by Weather UndergroundGiphyWhy beat around the bush?
"Straight to politics and religion."- Turd_Ferguson009.
Just let it happen.
"Make an observation."
"Literally anything."It helps if it’s something about them like an article of clothing that catches your eye, something they’re doing, anything that you can relate to or are interested in but it doesn’t have to be."
"It can be something in the environment that is drawing both of your attention."
"People bullsh*t about the weather all the time."
"Make a comment about it, gauge their willingness to talk about it to you and build off of what you get from the response."
"If all you get is 'haha yeah', leave it."
"No shame in silence."
"Some people just don’t want to talk."
I"f you’re talking about the weather, 'Man it’s a great day out today!'"
“'Yeah absolutely! I drove here with my windows down all the way here!'”
"Boom, you’ve got something to latch onto."
"They probably enjoy getting outside for some fresh air. "
"They probably enjoy driving."
"Ask about their car."
"Ask if they go on drives a lot."
"Ask if they do outdoor stuff."
"What kind of outdoor stuff?"
"Once you’ve got something to work with, the key is to ask."
"Let them do the talking."
"People love talking about themselves."
"You learn some light hearted things about the stranger, they feel more comfortable, and you can add bits and bobs of your own experiences in response so they get to know you too."
"It works in literally any situation."
"From an elevator ride to a first date."
"It’s so easy to personalize small talk and it makes it so much less uncomfortable."- 1arrocknroll.
"But enough about me, what do you think about me?"
"Usually people love to talk about themselves, so a few questions about them and some follow up questions to their answers usually does it."- I_can_see_the_music.
For Me GIF by Liz HuettGiphy"Food, glorious food..."
"Food."
"People typically love food."
"I mention I’m new/newer to an area."
"And ask them what they like, where they eat out."
"Usually works and people have their choices validated and I always know where to find good local snacks."- TheProfWife.
Pluto Flyby GIFCan you believe it?
"Did you see that ludicrous display last night?"- housemuncher.
Nothing!
"As a Norwegian - we leave strangers alone."
"No need to bother them."- neihuffda.
No Idea Reaction GIF by BounceGiphyThe sky's the limit.
"So, do you like stuff?"- Bwon669.
All of these seem like surefire ways to get a conversation started.
But use cautiously, as who knows how long it will take these conversations to end.
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