April 9, 2008 Last night was the big night - SHOW TIME! This was the culmination of the weeks of preparation, rehearsals, and anxiety. Throughout, it was a lot of fun working with super wonderful people under the usual pressure of a large and complex production. I had a strange combination of confidence shaded by a slight touch of nervousness.
I arrived at the studio a little past noon and walked down the corridor toward my dressing room. The door next to mine had the name Clint Black on it. This country-singing star was going to be doing stand-up comedy. I was invading his turf as a country singer. This was the wonderful craziness of Hollywood. I walked into my room. My western outfit -- fancy black embroidered shirt, black jeans, boots and all -- were hanging in the closet. I'm an actor used to seeing Starfleet uniforms hanging in my dressing room closet. But this western outfit somehow seemed to me surreal. And my gig tonight was to be singing country wearing it. How bizarre can life get! As it turned out, VERY bizarre.
The network execs had decided the musical interlude in my song was a bit long. So at the last minute, as we were about to go into dress rehearsals, the change came. There was no time for nervousness now. I had to adjust to the new shortened version. We rehearsed it a couple of times and that was it. The in-studio audience was arriving. Show time was fast approaching.
I had just gotten into my western outfit when my relatives came to my dressing room with their friends to cheer for me. Then, my partner-manager Brad Altman arrived with more friends. He told me that there were hordes of friends and supporters gathering outside with signs to cheer for me. Making the final grand and glamorous entrance into my dressing room, Nichelle Nichols, my Star Trek colleague, swept in to wish me well. A production assistant came to usher me to an interview with Entertainment Tonight so I thanked them all and off they went to their seats.
After the interview, I was ushered back to my dressing room to wait for my call to the stage. I was now alone in my room with only the leftover picking of fruits and crudités. I put on my CD for a final round with the instrumental version of my song. And that was it. Any more rehearsals would just be pointless edginess. I waited alone and calmly until Studio Producer Greg Harvey came to usher me to the stage.
There was the bustle of stagehands during a commercial break as I approached the stage. When I stepped onstage, a thunderous cheer from the audience greeted me and a magical thing happened. There is a weird and wonderful power that a generous audience casts. I felt at home, relaxed, and comfortable. The stagehands cleared the stage; I heard the countdown and host John O'Hurley started my intro. I could see every word of John's introduction on the prompter in back. The music started and I got with the beat. The rousing rhythm of Willie Nelson's great hit, "On the Road Again," felt so right. The song joyfully flowed out of my body. I sang my heart out. The cheering, stomping and hollerin' when I finished was tremendous. Signs that read "Beam Me Up" and "This is Takei Country" bobbed up and down. It was truly an exhilarating feeling.
John O'Hurley guided me to the judging panel composed of Hollywood legend Debbie Reynolds, Grammy winner Brian McKnight, and television producer Gavin Polone. First up was Brian McKnight. He loved my "passion." Being judged by Debbie Reynolds was so exciting. When I was a kid, I remember going to a movie palace on Broadway in downtown Los Angeles to see her in "Singin' in the Rain." She was a sparkling bundle of talent dancing and singing with Gene Kelly and Donald O'Connor. I love her. And here was this iconic sweetheart of America in front of me saying she liked ME and saying she needed a "spacey" singer for her opening act! It was dizzying! The only down note was Gavin Polone. He took a cheap homophobic shot that was totally unrelated to anything. The crowd gave him an eminently deserved boo. I think it's fair to judge the judge, and, in his case, I deem him to be an irresponsible and incompetent poop. Polone is a liability on the panel.
The upshot of the evening was that I was not a semi-finalist. The tap-dancing Mya and I were released to go home. Clint Black and Sasha Cohen, the Olympic ice skater, will be going on to the next round. Congratulations to both. I'm now out of the game. That's fine with me. I was competing as a country singer against a contortionist, a standup comic, and a tap-dancer. It was a fifty-fifty shot. I had a great time, met some wonderful people, and had an unforgettable experience.
I am grateful to some extraordinary people who made the experience so memorable. My studio producer, Greg Harvey, a giant of a man at 6'8", is as big in his enthusiasm, energy, and professionalism as he is physically. Edgar Struble, my musical arranger who worked with me from the very beginning straight through to the final musical cut right before the performance, is as affable and supportive as he is a hugely gifted musician. An unexpected gift was to have the hot country duo, Montgomery Gentry, the team of Eddie Montgomery and Troy Gentry, coach me on country singing. They now have a fan forever in me. I felt so honored by the terrific musicians of the all-star band behind me and the trio of fantastic backup singers. They have all become my friends. Singing country on "Secret Talents of the Stars" made me feel for one night like I was Willie Nelson "making music with my friends."
Working With The Pros - Saturday, April 5, 2008
Last night's rehearsal for my country singing debut on "Secret Talents of the Stars" was like a fantasy I'd never even dreamed of. All my life, I had been singing only in the warm, steamy resonance of my shower stall, hearing just my voice and the sound of the water spraying on me. But last night, I sang with an all-star band of seven great country musicians and two amazing back up singers. These artists had performed with some of the greats of country music - Kenny Rogers, Waylon Jennings, Dolly Parton, and on and on. This was my fantasy come true! However, the most astonishing fantasy come true was, not only meeting, but also being coached by the new country sensation, Montgomery Gentry-the two artists, Eddie Montgomery and Troy Gentry! I love their new hit song, "Some People Change." They were doing a gig in Ft. Worth, Texas, but when the producers invited them to come coach me for the show, they flew straight away into Los Angeles. Just for me! It was overwhelming!
Once I got over the initial surprise of meeting them, I learned that both Eddie and Troy are Star Trek fans. When Eddie was guiding me on how to hold the microphone, I said, "Believe me, Eddie, I cling on to it like my security blanket." He guffawed, "Klingon!" With that, he sure enough proved his Star Trek credentials. He then told me to "eat the mike." I had no idea what he was talking about. He laughed and told me to hold the mike real close to my mouth. As baffling as sci-fi techno babble can be, I think I understand it better than country music lingo. Troy helped me stay with the beat. He had the guitar soloist and the drummer emphasize some of my cue beats. It helped. I could use all the help they can give me. And, I'm getting it from the best - the shooting stars of 21st century country music and my newfound friends, Eddie Montgomery and Troy Gentry. I spent the evening jamming and laughing with my country friends. If only all rehearsals could as fun as this. It was a fantastic evening.
I got in the car taking me home exhausted but feeling great. Now for the tough part of preparing for a live television show - camera rehearsals, dress rehearsal and then the BIG night in only three more days, Tuesday, April 8. The excitement mounts.
Into the Studio - Friday, March 28, 2008
What had seemed an exciting opportunity at first with "Secret Talents of the Stars" was now becoming a very real test. The show was providing me with a bounty of backups. I now have had three sessions with a terrific vocal coach, Dave Stroud, a number of promotional interviews, a discussion on wardrobe concepts with the costume designers, and, to top it all off, I met a couple of country musicians who are going to be my backup musicians -- and they've worked with legendary country artist, Kenny Rogers! All this for ME, a mere shower singer!
As the challenges intensified, my anxiety almost became panic. At my first vocal session with Dave Stroud, I was so nervous I was racing past the beat of the song. Dave gave me real insight into singing country. He said that the most important quality of country music is a relaxed enjoyment of the music. Forget everything, loosen up, and give yourself up to the song. Easier said than done. I'm loose and relaxed in my shower stall, but this isn't shower singing anymore. This is going before millions and millions of people all across the country.
Dave gave me supportive compliments about my vocal quality and we forged on. He taught me exercises to relax and loosen my vocal cords. I made ridiculous sounds going up and down the musical scale. I burred, I rolled my rr's, I made round vowel sounds. My nephew's five-year-old kid would be squealing with laughter if he heard Uncle George making these silly sounds. I did feel ridiculous. But, it worked. The exercises calmed me down and the singing became more comfortable. By the second session, I was doing a tad better. I was more relaxed. But I was still dependent on singing with the vocalist on the CD track. Dave's homework assignment to me for the next session was to get off the vocal track and sing only to the accompaniment.
For the following couple of days, I practiced diligently with only the musical track. I no longer had my training wheels. I was now singing solo and it was breathtaking - I kept getting lost. The music did fancy but confusing curlicues. It was exasperating. Over and over again, I practiced and sang to the fancy part of the music. Eventually, I got the beat and the feel of it. I went to my third session with Dave feeling reasonably confident. But then, when I arrived, there was a whole camera crew from the show to film my lesson with Dave. My vocal lesson with Dave was going to be seen by millions across the nation as part of the show! Again, nerves attacked! My singing without the vocal track was hit and miss. I can only hope that they edit the film kindly.
Yesterday, I went to my first studio session. We're now getting closer and closer to the Big Day. I met a part of my musical backup team for the first time. Edgar, the musical arranger, introduced me to the two guitarists - Chuck and John. They were affable, down-to-earth, and immediately seemed like old friends. They were real country people. John was from Georgia and both Edgar and Chuck were from Michigan but all had spent a good hunk of time in Nashville. Both guitarists, John and Chuck, had handsome guitars with beautiful abalone shell inlays. Then Edgar and Chuck told me that they had toured with the celebrated Kenny Rogers! They are part of country legend! I had no idea I would be performing with the greats. Like the true country people they are, however, they brought the conversation right down to earth. They had toured with Kenny Rogers in Japan, they told me, and loved the food there. I could tell from Chuck's generous girth that he enjoyed good eating. From Edgar's lean figure, I could tell he had very good metabolism. The talk of Japanese food made me feel that I would be making music with friends. And we did. We had a great time singing country and laughing through the session. The two hours we had seemed to go at warp speed.
However, I would now have a whole week before I could get together with my newfound musical friends again. Tomorrow, I fly off to New York for my weeklong gig with the Howard Stern Show on Sirius Satellite Radio. I do, however, plan to continue rehearsing with my trusty CD player every day. A week goes fast and I intend to rise to the challenge of my "Secret Talent." I'm publicly coming out of my shower stall to face a national television audience.
Monday, March 24, 2008
For over four decades, I've trekked the galaxies on the Starship Enterprise "boldly going where no one has gone before." I did the Star Trek television series in the 60s, recorded the voice in the animated series in the 70s, the movie series from the 70s to the 90s, and conventions all over this planet. It was no longer "boldly going" on to new adventures. It had become almost tradition.
However, with one e-mail from my agent with an offer from the "Secret Talents of the Stars," I truly felt the sensation of "boldly going" where I had never gone before. It was an offer to do what I do every morning in my shower stall - singing country songs. But the offer was to sing live on stage before an audience of about four or five hundred people in studio AND millions of television viewers across the nation. I'd never done this. I felt excitement, the thrill of a new challenge, but there was also a tingle of anxiety. What if I fall flat on my face? But then, what a great opportunity this is as well! This is what life is about - to try new things and see what happens. I decided I'll do it!
Immediately after accepting the offer, however, I had a scheduled trip to Coventry, England for - what else - a sci-fi convention. After the gig, I was also giving ourselves, my partner, Brad and me, a week of whoopee in London and a quick dash through Brussels and Bruges, Belgium. When we arrived in London, the "Secret Talents of the Stars" production had sent a c.d. player with the song I was to sing to the hotel. So for the rest of our trip through Europe, I was singing country - vocalizing in hotel showers, humming on trains, and body swaying to the beat of the music on the plane flight back home. I'm trekking and I'm preparing to "boldly go" where I've never gone before.
All of us have fears which some might call irrational.
Up to and including ghosts, witches, monsters.
But more often than not, reality can be far scarier than the supernatural.
And there are very few people indeed who don't have a memory of a moment when they were truly and genuinely scared.
And not by an otherworldly encounter, but by things that could quite literally happen to anyone.
Redditor GodhimselfUwU was curious to hear the scariest experiences people have lived through, leading them to ask:
"What’s the scariest non-supernatural thing that ever happened to you?"
"I was 14, alone at my grandmas house around midnight."
"She was across the street at the bar she owned."
"I was playing games on her computer, about 15 feet from one of the windows facing the backyard."
"All of a sudden the glass from that window shatters, and I ran to one of the bedrooms."
"I can hear my name being called."
"Eventually I see my grandma's ex-boyfriend enter the living room where the computer is."
"He keeps saying my name."
"I’m scared sh*tless, but I walk out and confront him."
"He says my grandma stole his ID and that’s what he came for, as he’s taking money from my grandmas purse."
"He looks f*cked up on something."
"I forget how he leaves but when he does I call the bar and people come over looking for him."
"They didn’t find him."
"About a year later he did it again, and I was once again alone there."
"Except this time instead of breaking a window he decides to try to kick the side door in."
"I’m just there chilling when out of nowhere I hear the loudest bangs coming from the side of the house and I instantly knew what was happening."
"I immediately called the bar and they sent a bunch of people over before he could make it in."
"He apparently tried to jump from one of her sheds into the alley next to her house and broke his leg."
"He went to prison."- nfreshn
They're coming right for us!
"Two bison charging right toward me down a narrow wooded path in Yellowstone when I was 12."- pcc2Open Range Running GIF by Reconnecting RootsGiphy
Uncomfortable in new surroundings.
"My sister has mental health issues."
"We were in a foreign country, driving across mountains on a one lane dirt road with no guardrails."
"She had a complete mental breakdown and threatened many times to drive off the edge."
"To this day, my mom swears my sister wouldn't have done it."
"All I say is, 'you weren't in the car'."
"'You have no idea'."- BlorengeJulius
Lost in the woods.
"Getting lost on 350 acres of woods in southeast Georgia."
"Was found about 6 hours later."
The dog found me hours before the people did.- No_Regrats_42Scared Woods GIF by Brat TVGiphy
A near death experience.
"Was working as a linemen tasked to replace a 16m wooden power pole which requires climbing up to untie the lines from the isolators."
"I checked if the pole had any rot beforehand, climbed up, untied the lines, climbed down, as I was packing my tools up , the pole fell from its own."- LimaRadek
He wasn't who he claimed to be.
"A man claiming to be a meter reader was in our yard and tried the back door AFTER trying the front."
"It was unlocked because there was a field behind us and our gate had a lock, that he somehow got by."
"The meter reader man was nearly eaten by our Great Dane who was dumb and peaceful, except for when she laid eyes on him."
"Our other dog also wanted to kill him and he was up on our trampoline begging us to call the dogs off, which we, my then 11 year old sister and I, refused to do and went to get our dad, who worked from home."
"The guy escaped while we got our dad and my dad let the police know what happened."
"The real meter reader man came the next week."- ApplesintheorchardDog Bouncing GIF by AFV PetsGiphy
Had no idea what they were witnessing.
"I guess watching a loved one have a seizure when I didn’t understand what it was."
"Legit thought I witnessed a death."
"Scary stuff."- Peppapigisgodly
Always look both ways.
"I got hit by a car while in a crosswalk a few months back."
"Had a split second where I saw him coming and realized what was about to happen."
"I thought I was going to die."- jolalolalulu
Big Sister to the Rescue.
"Saved my sisters life."
"We were boating and my parents just kinda assumed we’d be ok with them only out a couple hundred feet."
"I was about 17 and she was about 7."
"I’m laying there chilling and see her slip and fall into the water and just straight up sink."
"Ran over, dove in and pulled her to shore."
"She spit up a bunch of water and was fine but that experience rocked me to my core."
"Not a super crazy story but almost seeing a sibling die has always stuck with me."
"I’ve broken almost every bone in my body, I died one time and was in a coma for a little bit but for some reason this one stuck with me."- Present-Trip5231
Often, an experience that left us scared does make for a good story down the line.
Though whether it was a good enough story to make having gone through the experience worth it, is debatable.
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Having to work for a living is hard work.
Some jobs come with difficulty and two extra sides of stress.
So the last thing people need is unwarranted hate.
I'm so glad I work from home. Writing alone.
I have issues with me, but that I can deal with.
I do hate internet issues.
But that is warranted.
Redditor PM_ME_URFOOD wanted to talk about the jobs where a ridiculous amount of vitriol is all part of a days work. They asked:
"What profession gets an unjustified amount of hate?"
Waiting tables was always the bane of my existence. Customers are rude. Staff is rude. It never ends.
Filthy HoursFail Just For Laughs GIFGiphy
"Trash men. They’re looked down on as dirty and uneducated, but they do a hard job that is absolutely critical to our public health."
"Youth sports officials. I umpire baseball as a hobby and the way parents act is deplorable."
"The parents on the other hand deserve loads of hate sometimes. I was a coach for soccer and volleyball while I was in the Air Force. You would have loved to be a sports official for our leagues at our base. If a parent got sh**ty they are immediately ejected, no questions, and reported to whoever is their higher authority. It almost never happened."
Behind the Counter
"Any customer (client/patient) facing job. They get the abuse that stems from managements decisions, mistakes and incompetence."
"I did customer service for automotive companies at a call center for years. People get so unhinged, between dealerships, management, people calling into the wrong department, angry customers who were itching for a fight over a rental car. The job paid for five free therapy sessions a year, but honestly, it would take every ounce of restraint not to break some days."
"You aren't allowed to defend yourself or hang up, you can't transfer them to supervisors for a call, you technically work for a third party company that exists to keep the customer from ever actually speaking to the corporation. It was the worst job I've ever had, and that's coming from someone who used to work at a seafood processing plant."
"Food service. The workers have to eat too, you know."
"Working fast food sucked. Not because the job was hard. But because people were *icks. For like, no reason. Working in an actual kitchen also sucked. Not because the work was hard, but because you never did it quick enough and your boss was a *ick for like no reason. But at least you didn't deal with customers."
Too much stress...Jim Carrey Omg GIFGiphy
"Defense attorneys. People hate them because they defend violent criminals. However, as one lawyer put it, their job is not just to defend these people; their job is also to make sure that the cops did their job correctly."
I've always wondered about defense attorneys. How do they reconcile their morals?
They're Smart Toowill birth control GIFGiphy
"I live in Germany and currently in my (hopefully) last semester of university to become a pharmacist (4 years of university, one practical year and three exams of state required). A lot of people here think pharmacists are only cashiers and don’t know we get a scientific education. And God help me if I question a doctor's decision."
"I usually just lurk as a guest, but I made a Reddit account just for this. Cooks for public schools. They are constantly overworked, underpaid, and disrespected. Most schools have only a few ovens and microwaves, so school chefs have to either jam unsafe amounts of frozen food into ovens and microwaves, which is a giant fire hazard, or work non-stop from early morning."
"Plant breeders and plant geneticists. Imagine you're a plant nerd and you spend your life studying genetics so you can figure out how to improve food crops. Like, to make them yield more, taste better, be healthier, survive drought, etc. But on the internet, you're apparently trying to poison the world and control the food supply."
"Veterinarians. My doctors CONSTANTLY get yelled at or called heartless when, for instance, we refer them to a hospital more suited to care for the animal than us. Like bro we didn't just tell you know we are giving you options and trying to ensure you seek the proper care. Don't call me a heartless b**tard for that crap."
No Fun InvolvedAngry Neil Flynn GIFGiphy
"Janitors. Trash-related work. Sewage workers. Plumbing."'
I feel for everyone in these jobs. They deserve better.
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Short of having a shopping addiction, no one actually likes spending money on stuff.
Why would you ever willingly give it away? It's your money!
Which might be why it feels so bad when you have to spend money of something that should be free from the beginning. People/ corporations are going to chase that cheddar, though, so there's little you can do besides complain, which frankly might be the best thing the internet is for.
"What should be free?"
Let's get these out of the way first...No, let's get this first one out of the way first.
Hidden fees are the worst.
Hidden. F***ing. Fees.
"Transaction/processing fees when you order a digital product online. Such as a concert ticket, where you pay 6 euro extra while you pay online, and have to print the ticket yourself."
"Or processing fees to pay bills that you need. Duke energy charges a $7 processing fee for you to pay your energy bill. Like wtf."
Pay To Pee
"Public bathrooms! The amount of human piles of poop around because the homeless have no where to relieve themselves!"
"Live in a very tourist-y part of the U.K., all public toilets charge and most cafes/pubs/libraries won’t let people use their toilets. As someone who lives here year round it’s really frustrating and doesn’t seem to make sense."
Want A Better Society? Educate Them.
"College. Or at the very least, college APPLICATIONS. If you're gonna require it for most careers, atleast make it accessible for people. And I just think it's stupid that people have to pay to get rejected."
"Oh god I hate that so much. Same with applying to apartments it’s such a waste of money if you don’t get approved. It racks up quickly too."
It does feel grimy when "official documentation" that is "mandatory" has to be bought and paid for not by the people requiring it, but by the people needing it.
Forcing Us To Pay For Something We're Forced To Have
"ID cards issued by the government. Especially since you need them for almost every aspect of daily living."
"I'm not the biggest fan of free stuf but having to pay for a piece of paper that says "I exist" is ridiculous."
It'll never not feel bad having to pay for something we expect to be free, but it feels ten times worse when it's something you need to get by in life. As in, need to live.
Let's All Agree To Take Care Of Each Other
"All base needs up to a level. I mean stuff we need to survive, eg. power, water,... and things we are required to use to be relevant in daily life internet,..."
"Seeing how now power companies are fuel companies are having THE biggest profit in years while more and more families are pushed into bigger and bigger deths just to get by."
"Same goes for internet tbh, poor kids are just not getting by in school becasue they lack the basic stuff every other kid has to get further in life. I am not saying they need the fastest possible internet with unlimited dl, but give them so they can work for school so the vicious cycle can be broken."
We Need It More Than Anyone
"All mental health services. If you don’t have benefits or a VERY good paying job, they are unaffordable for how often most people really need them. At $120-160/ session even once a week is not affordable for most people these days"
A Fine Line Between Need And Want
"Drinking water, sure. But water is an expendable resource and it should honestly be more restricted when we think about cases like people watering their lawns."
Paying To Live
"Insulin. People are dying because of greedy pharmaceutical companies."
"But We're 'Pro-Life'" - Jerks
"Birth control of all kinds."
"For anyone who b*tches about spending taxpayer money, I'd ask whether it costs more to provide condoms or to house prisoners."
"Giving birth (In the us)"
"As a female US citizen the more I learn about the whole giving birth sh*t the less I want kids. My friend just had a baby, there were some complications. She is now paying off a 14k hospital bill! The lowest I have hears is 8k. 8k just to have a f-cking kid! For a country that is gung-ho about forcing women to have kids they have missed the mark completely."
Everyone is looking for their payout, and unfortunately sometimes we're the ones who have to give it to them, whether it makes sense or not.
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The worst part of having breasts is Florida.
I didn't even say large breasts. Just breasts, any breasts. Florida and breasts are mortal enemies sworn to battle one another into oblivion until the end of days.
In other states, you and your ladies can live a more peaceful life. Here in Florida, it's A Song of Sweat And Fire Ants.
Ever get tiny little jellyfish stuck under your side-boob? Happens here all the time.
Bikinis should come with a "Sand Lice, Your Titty Crease, And You" informational pamphlet.
Wanna jog? Hope you accounted for the fact that the air is soup and will chafe and cauterize your nipples.
Know what limits your field of vision, making you more likely to accidentally step on a snake and/or gator? Boobs.
Know what slows you down as you try to escape the angry reptile from the above paragraph? Also boobs.
Reddit user Saibotnl1 asked:
"What's the most negative thing about having boobs?"
Now take all this stuff they said sucked, and then put it inside of a steam oven filled with mosquitos. That's Florida.
And Florida is incompatibile with breasts.
Cardio Is HardioGIF by VIASWEATGiphy
"I love them but running can be a nuisance even in a good sports bra."
"When I go to work, there is a woman that usually runs on the shoulder of the road. I gasp at how much her boobs bounce. Isn't that doing damage to tissue? Painful?"
"Yes! I literally always hold mine when going up/down stairs so they dont bounce. Running is uncomfortable even with a good bra :/ "
"If it's a sports bra that holds you, it's so tight that it's impossible to get into or out of without a whole team of people like a pit crew."
"If you can comfortably get into it, it won't hold the girls for long."
"Cardio is just not worth all this."
"As a kid I wasn't fit enough for jump rope, but now that I'm older and have the big boobies it feels even more impossible to ever indulge in."
Literally In The Way
"They get in the way!!"
"Lately I've been getting frustrated with exercise. My personal trainer will say to hold something a certain way and I'll try but it's so uncomfortable because my boobs are completely in the way."
"She has small boobs so she doesn't account for them being in that space right in front of your chest."
"My English teacher in 10th grade was drinking water one day when a few drops landed on his shirt. He then complained about getting older and how he never stuck out far enough to get his shirt wet."
"I just sighed."
"4th grade. 4th grade is when I stuck out too much to avoid drips."
"So very much this."
"I refuse to do mountain climbers when my trainer suggests it, she started to get mad saying it's a great exercise. My retort was that I'd really rather not knee myself in the breasts as part of my workout."
"The lady has small boobs and replied that she had never thought of that!"
"Probably growing them."
"It hurts, and if you get big boobs young and quickly, it’s both physical and social agony."
"It hurts to grow them, first of all, your chest aches and bumping them against anything really hurts - and since they’re a sudden, large addition to your body, you’re ALWAYS bumping them on stuff."
"But the social aspect is worse."
"Your female family members comment on them slyly and smirk at your response."
"Your male friends look at you weird and you have to realize they see you as more sexual than girls with smaller chests, even though you literally cannot control this."
"Other girls can be nasty and jealous."
"Eventually I learned to manage all this and I like having breasts now; but from like 11-16 I was so frustrated and upset that I had developed them at all."
Two Volcanosrachael ray boob sweat GIF by First We Feast: Hot OnesGiphy
"The sweat and itch!"
"Also that they're like two volcanos, which isn't especially practical during summers or when you're a constantly hot temperatured person anyway."
"No matter what I try, the skin under my boobs never cools down!"
"Boob sweat is the bane of my existence when it's even a little bit hot outside - and sometimes even when it's not lol..."
"I hate the feeling of sweat on my boobs. I just put tissue between and underneath my boobs to hopefully absorb the sweat so it won’t start to itch and drip."
"I STILL am not able to remove them after a long day. Why?!"
"Why can't I just set em aside for the night, all done. Why hasn't technology advanced to this possibility yet??"
"Absolutely they would. The relief we would get ... oh my god it sounds divine."
"Maybe I wouldn’t be so b*tchy."
"I’d honestly probably only wear them for ren faire, and leave them at home the rest of the year."
"The double standard of girls with small chests and big chests."
"If you have a big chest no matter what you wear or do it's sexual. But for girls with smaller chests they can get away with crop tops or v necks or even swim suits."
"Lol the bigger girls who spent their entire grade school years getting sent to the principal's office for breaking dress code will agree with you."
"Loose shirts will tent and billow up in the wind as you walk-- dress coded."
"Tight shirts that don't tent but cling to your chest-- dress coded."
"And don't even think about anything but a crew neckline, or you'll be dress coded again."
"I always got in trouble for wearing dresses in school, but skinny Minnie wearing something even worse gets by no problem just because she doesn't fill it out the way I do."
ExpensiveHappy Music Video GIF by DJ MustardGiphy
"Bras are expensive and you need regular bras, sports bras, probably something special like a strapless or low back if you have a special occasion or something."
"And don't even get me started on women's healthcare ..."
"Stage 4 breast cancer patient here, and it costs me about an extra $5000/yr to stay alive if everything goes well."
"I just stopped breastfeeding and none of my bras fit anymore."
"I’ve just been wearing sports bras every day because I don’t even know what cup size I am anymore and I don’t want to spend a fortune replacing all of my bras."
"Plus if you choose not to wear bras for any number of reasons, you’re treated as deviant or an acceptable target of inappropriate attentions."
"Laying on your stomach can be tricky."
"Laying on your back can be tricky as well."
"And on your side."
"Just laying in general with big boobs is a hassle."
"However women in my life have found it difficult to get a decent back massage because of this. I've seen plenty of massage tables with head holes, but none with boob support..."
"Semi-suffocating yourself on the beach while trying to get some sun on your back is fun."
"The fact that I look like a walking refrigerator if I wear a loose fitting top, as it billows shapelessly around my body in an odd fabric rectangle."
"But if I wear something form fitting, I look like a lady of the night and am treated as such."
"OMG this !!"
"I feel like all my girlfriends around me have such a fashion sense and can wear things with such grace but I always look as you’ve described. Like either I look like a couch pillow or Jessica Rabbit."
"Sometimes I just want to cut them off honestly."
"Yeah I’ve been wanting a reduction since a was a teen because of the back pain and catcalling, and many people I know with a bigger chest feel the same way."
"I had no idea women hated their boobs so much! It honestly is shining a light on an idea I have never thought of."
Attempted MurderBlack Woman Breast Cancer Awareness GIF by Know Your GirlsGiphy
"They might try to kill me."
"Breast cancer runs in my family and I have to have my first mammogram this year at 36."
"My mom was negative for both BRCA genes but there are 6 others they’ve discovered since she had cancer that we haven’t been tested for."
"Insurance won’t cover me to test unless she tests positive for one."
"Fun fun fun."
"My mom died from breast cancer at 46. I started getting mammograms at 34."
"Luckily, I took the BRCA test and was negative."
"Constantly being sexualized."
"I’m the least sexual person but people assume I’m super sexual because of my body. And I hate it"
"Yup, I'm ace and I honestly just want them chopped off to be rid of the constant sexualization of my body."
"It makes me really uncomfortable."
"My friend in elementary school had a condition where she went into puberty super early and had large breasts by 3rd grade."
"We would walk together to elementary school every morning and get cat called a lot, but we were too afraid to tell our parents because we thought they wouldn't let us walk together anymore."
"She would have teachers make comments about them."
"When we were older she talked about how insanely awful and alienating it made her feel growing up. Her younger sister had the same condition, but went on puberty blockers for it."
"These pendulous bags of hell have destroyed my back."
"Even a decade after a reduction surgery, I remain in daily pain. And now as an added bonus they get to be misshapen, scarred horribly, and completely useless for raising a baby."
"I didn’t realize how heavy they are until I got together with girl with big boobs and woooooow they are heavy!"
"I got C cups in fifth grade and those f*ckers went all the way to G by senior year."
"My posture was/is awful and I've felt like an old woman since I was a teenager. I don't even want babies, so they're never actually gonna be useful either."
See what I mean?
They're kind of awful once they hit a certain size, and that size is pretty much ANY size if you're in Florida.
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