Wealthy People Reveal When They Knew They Were Spoiled As Kids[rebelmouse-image 18355313 is_animated_gif=
You truly do grow up in a different world. Other options are available to you immediately, and you very rarely don't get what you want. So then how do you know you're rich?
Let's ask Reddit. lilsunflowers wanted to know:
Here are some of the luxurious answers.
Poor Unfortunate Souls[rebelmouse-image 18361894 is_animated_gif=
Not so much the same, but didn't realize until way later in life that the reason our neighbors kids had dinner with us every night was because their parents couldn't afford to feed a family of 5 and keep the power on. My dad did their taxes and it was his way of helping them without ruining their pride. We also had the parents over for BBQ almost every weekend and sent them home with all the leftovers. Didnt find out until I took a college class with one of the kids years later.
A Full Childhood[rebelmouse-image 18361895 is_animated_gif=
My parents put me through so many classes, I just thought it was a normal thing that everyone did (although not necessarily as many as I did).
When I moved out and discovered that I had to budget to be able to afford to replace my violin strings and bow hairs, it hit me that my parents must have been spending an actual fortune on me. On top of the actual classes (of which there were many) and getting there, they were buying equipment (my instruments and music books), maintaining/upgrading/replacing as necessary, paying for me to take music exams, paying for me to travel with my youth music group, I think a year of my extracurriculars in high school must have cost at least as much as a year of an undergrad degree in Canada.
I owe my parents so much money if I ever get rich.
Different Strokes[rebelmouse-image 18361896 is_animated_gif=
Some kids make more money than their parents, even when they don't make a lot of money.
My coworker and I make the same salary. She took her parents out to eat for her birthday because to them she makes a lot of money. My parents take me out to eat for my birthday because to them I don't make a lot of money.
Suburban Staples[rebelmouse-image 18361897 is_animated_gif=
When I was 13 I brought over a friend who was really, really impressed by my parent's automatic garage door opener. That was a huge shift in perspective for me
Find Your Silver[rebelmouse-image 18361898 is_animated_gif=
Early on in our relationship, my empathetic, socially aware, and compassionate wife said off-hand "Well, but you must have had SOME silver growing up, right? I mean, everyone has SOME silver."
Renting[rebelmouse-image 18361899 is_animated_gif=
Pretty middle class, but lived in an expansive suburb with almost zero apartment complexes. Always just assumed everyone had a house and didn't really understand the concept of renting a house or an apartment until I was 13-14 when I heard them talking about it on friends or something.
Spare A Dime?[rebelmouse-image 18351162 is_animated_gif=
This is going to sound silly but, money. Like spare cash. I didn't realize until i went to college that everyone doesn't have extra spending money to spend on silly things like movies or a non cafeteria lunch.
Toy Budget[rebelmouse-image 18361900 is_animated_gif=
My family was never overly wealthy, but my parents provided an abundance of toys for me and my sister. I had a huge imagination, and I played with every single one of them. But I would be flabbergasted when I went to my friends' houses to see that they didn't have as many toys, or any toys at all. I used to think that some kids just didn't like toys.
Costs Of Living[rebelmouse-image 18355312 is_animated_gif=
I teach teens whose father makes millions a year. They were very upset that a doctor only makes $200k a year and they weren't sure that was enough to live comfortably on. We did the math one day and realized he makes more in a day than a minimum wage earner does in a year.
To be fair, it's pretty hard to understand how money works when everything is done for you. Most of the kids I've taught have no concept of income and cost of living. Parents! Teach your kids how to pay for things and what life costs!
Airport Limo[rebelmouse-image 18361901 is_animated_gif=
I thought it was standard to take a limo to the airport or funerals. I actually thought my friend was lying when she told me she had never been in one.
One Flight[rebelmouse-image 18361902 is_animated_gif=
When I was like 10 or so, the airline screwed up our tickets flying home from England. My dad was pissed, but he went and bought 4 tickets for us home on the Concorde. I had an idea we were well off, but didn't realize until I was older that our flight home cost almost $50k.
Extra Homes[rebelmouse-image 18361903 is_animated_gif=
I thought everyone had a vacation home somewhere, and had a maid who cleaned the house. I came home from college my first year and looked around my neighborhood and saw it through different eyes. Suddenly I realized how big the houses were, and how most had three car garages. That just felt normal to me until I went to school with people who didn't have those things.
Perspective[rebelmouse-image 18361904 is_animated_gif=
Can I answer for someone else?
A past partner grew up much more privileged than I did. His house was one-level and he warned me that his family was poor before we went in and my response was, "Oh, it's okay, I grew up in a trailer." I walked into this beautiful, completely renovated house with all new furniture and one of those fridges that was touch screen. He thought he was poor because he was technically low-income for the neighborhood he lived in. The whole thing looked like a Rooms-To-Go magazine. It even had skylights.
He also apologized for his family's cars. They were older but they were both Volvos and they still were pristine. I grew up with a 2001 Monte Carlo that didn't have AC and smelled like cigarettes.
The main thing that bugged me was he kind of chastised me for not being in sports or activities when I was younger. I so wanted to play soccer like he did when I was a kid but my family couldn't afford the uniforms.
Also, music lessons like he had, I really wanted a piano and a violin as a kid but, again, my parents couldn't afford a piano like his family's beautiful Yamaha. Nor could they afford the lessons for violin or piano.
His mom ended up making me feel bad for my "diseased" thrift store clothes and eventually it got to him too and one of the many reasons he broke up with me was because his parents had convinced him that me having grown up poor, I was going to be a leech on his future finances. It made me really insecure about my social status that rich people would look down their noses at me because I had no choice in how I grew up.
Live-In Maid[rebelmouse-image 18361905 is_animated_gif=
House servants. Seriously, they do all your chores and EVERYTHING around the house.
A friend of mine had a maid who lived with them as a fulltime job and had a room in their poolhouse.
Eating In[rebelmouse-image 18349469 is_animated_gif=
It was only until later in life that I realized going out to restaurants, daily, isn't typical.
I just figured that is how people normally ate. I thought home cooked meals were the special ones.
Jet-Set[rebelmouse-image 18361906 is_animated_gif=
A private jet. We would always charter a private jet when flying for vacations or to visit relatives in other states. I would see all of the other jets at the airport, but just assumed that they were just much bigger private jets. I would actually be pretty jealous as I would imagine my family flying in such a large plane and having all that room. Turns out those were commercial flights with very little room at all. I was 15 when I finally realized this.
Never Feeling Discomfort[rebelmouse-image 18354713 is_animated_gif=
At college I asked my pre-med roommate if it was safe to go to sleep hungry.
Safety[rebelmouse-image 18361907 is_animated_gif=
Growing up, my family was considered by the government to be below the poverty line - my siblings and I qualified for free school lunches. But, we lived in a safe part of town. We would often put a fan in the window to bring in cool air on Summer nights. One evening, I was giving a ride to some teenagers from church to another youth leader's house who lived in a similar neighborhood to mine. One of the youth commented, "This is one of those neighborhoods where people don't lock their windows at night." I was in my early 20s at the time. I was ashamed that I'd never realized leaving my window open to enjoy a cool Summer breeze at night was something people a couple miles away from me couldn't do.
Cruises Ain't For The Weak[rebelmouse-image 18361909 is_animated_gif=
For years and years when I was a kid I would look down on people who hadn't traveled well, particularly people who did the same Disney cruises every year. In my mind I was thinking, "Expand your horizons! Go to Europe or China or Peru like my family does!" \
Financing The Stone[rebelmouse-image 18980259 is_animated_gif=
I had a roommate once. His father was a multi millionaire. Anyway so I was sitting at the table paying my bills. He asked what I was doing and upon mentioning I was making a car payment his mind was blown away. The idea of financing a car was very foreign to him. he asked so many questions and he could just not understand why anyone would do that. When we got to the topic of car insurance that was another thing he could not get.
He always paid cash for vehicles and he was self insured, everyone in his family and all his friends did this.
I felt oh so very small.
The key to any successful relationship is communication.
The ability to be open and receptive to what a significant other has to say, as well as the ability to be able to convey something weighing on one's mind, can be healing.
But depending on the circumstance, some things are better left unsaid.
Curious to hear examples of what those might be, Redditor FamiliarFarmer8356 asked:
"What's something you wish you could tell your partner without upsetting them?"
If there is conflict, there is a way to discuss and address the issue in a civil and respectful manner.
Things Just Happen
"Every bad thing that happens doesn't require someone to be blamed for it. And that someone doesn't always have to be me."
A Cornerstone Of A Successful Union
"One of the cornerstones of a good marriage, is knowing how to argue. I’d actually say that before a couple get married, they should check how their potential partner behaves in an argument. What are they like when they get angry. It’s important because no two individuals are going to agree all the time. And on those occasions, it’s important to remember not to belittle the other. Deal with the issue at hand. And especially, don’t argue in front of the kids. You have no idea how much lasting damage this causes."
"All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest - never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principles of equal partnership."
It's Not That Deep
"please stop complaining about everything."
"If you keep seeking out reasons to be miserable, you will find them."
"I'm tired of being dragged down with you."
There's no need to get defensive when there's something to discuss.
It's Not About You
"That some days I’m just tired from class and work and just want some me time, it’s not that I hate you my social battery is just running out."
"Her first reaction to something adverse doesn't have to be anger."
In The Words Of A Pirate
"In the wise words of captain Jack Sparrow sometimes:"
'the problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude toward the problem.'
It Takes Two To Tango
"That I wish she’d be more independent so she didn’t need my help for everything outside the house."
"That it’s a little disturbing how aggressively he drives when he’s grumpy… heavy on both gas and brakes, zooming in and out of traffic, swearing at people who make mistakes… very unlike him."
Sometimes the truth hurts when talking about members of the family.
A Real Assessment
"That her mother is not a good person."
"I told my husband that it's not that his family is nosy and overbearing, it's that I hate watching him cave and negotiate as if they have a right to behave like this, and I really hate when I'm the bad guy for wanting reasonable limits."
"It got worse, then it got better, FYI."
"His parents are greedy, selfish people and treat him like an atm."
There's definitely a fine line between withholding your thoughts to protect the person you love and being brutally honest.
If coming clean isn't going to resolve an issue, then it might be better to suck it up and deal with whatever frustrations you have about the other person.
It's up to you, but make sure the delivery doesn't come from a place of rage if you do decided to be totally transparent about your negative thoughts.
Every family has a black sheep or every family in its entirety are black sheep.
What is a "black sheep" anyway?
It used to mean a person who brought shame or embarrassment to a family, but it's more often used now to mean the member who is just very different from everyone else—sometimes in a good way.
Redditor Frozen_yoghurt123 asked:
"Who is the 'black sheep' of your family?"
I'm the black sheep or at least I'd like to think so.
"Probably my dad's cousin, who went to prison for murdering his lover's husband."
DW_555Oh My Wow GIFGiphy
"My Dad. He is the only one of 6 siblings who wasn't a huge f**k up. And yet, before my Grandma died she stated that he was her 'biggest disappointment.' He is estranged from his surviving siblings... not by his choice. It honestly blows my mind."
"Toxicity is often a group mindset thing; people don't want you to leave because they are dysfunctionally co-dependent on each other and need each other to justify their own shortcomings in life. A lot of the 'family loyalty' stuff is typically shouted loudest by those who are the least good idea to stay loyal towards."
"My great uncle who stole my great grandfathers identity, stole a couple million dollars, and ran off. No one even knew he was alive until my great grandfathers funeral in 2009. No one has seen him since. My grandma started to cry because she honestly thought he was dead."
"Everyone else just kind of nodded on his direction and went on with the rest of the funeral. I just remember being very confused because I was 9 and I had never met this guy who my dad pulled me aside and told me he was my great uncle. It was a few years later that I got the full story."
"According to my mean aunt, the 'matriarch' in her own mind, it's my twin brother because "he doesn't care about family now that he's a doctor." (He's a resident. Chief resident. He works ridiculous hours and spends the rest of the time recovering from work.)"
"According to my ex-MIL (who still counts because she's Son's grandma), it's me, for divorcing her son."
"According to everyone else, it's Mean Aunt. The rest of us are warm and caring and compassionate. We have our moments; all of us have been accidentally thoughtless or done something selfish once in a while, but we're not deliberately mean and snarky all the time."
"My immediate family are the black sheep of the entire family."
DarthDreganJohn Stamos Cheers GIF by GrandfatheredGiphy
Sounds like everyone has a little black sheep in them.
"By now, my brother for cutting off everyone because he prefers his rude, selfish, paranoid, narcissist wife over all of us."
"My wife is the black sheep of her family in the sense that she's the only one who isn't a rude, selfish, paranoid narcissist."
Lvcivs2311Joe Dirt Brother GIFGiphy
"Me. My granddaddy told me 'I’ve only had the sheriff knock on my door two times in my 80 years, and both times he was looking for you! 'I did some dumb sh*t, caused a little trouble, burned a few bridges but always managed to stay out of jail. Partly because my sister has kept an attorney on retainer for me since I was 16."
"My younger brother (2nd of 4) is a compulsive liar and it got him in a lot of little trouble as a teen, then he told his wife he graduated a big college when we're not even sure if he got his GED because he failed to graduate HS, went to some GED school and eventually just stopped going."
"IF he graduated college, he never mentioned he was going in the 4+ years it takes nor mention graduation or have a diploma. He's not a bad dude, but now family time is super awkward when he and his wife are talking about 'their' college team."
The NOT good girl...
"My aunt's daughter. She’s been in jail for drugs, stolen money from my aunt and other family members to use on drugs and physically abused my aunt. My aunt has tried getting her help, but nothing has worked. She’s just not a good person, and everyone in my family, except my aunt, doesn’t want anything to do with her. I haven’t seen her in 8 years now, and I’m happy about that."
"A former nun - my great aunt - left the religious life and got married. She called herself 'the black sheep of the family' because her habit was black."
Back2BachExcited Julie Andrews GIF by The Rodgers & Hammerstein OrganizationGiphy
Well the black sheep sound like the most interesting family members.
Sex is great, but there are more ways than one to accomplish that euphoric feeling without sex.
There are so many small, ordinary aspects of life that can just send a person and we come across them daily.
A good steak.
A home repair.
The things that make you say...
"I tingle all over."
Redditor OldAboba asked:
"What is the best non-sexual physical feeling you’ve ever felt?"
Adele. Adele live. She sends me.
FloatingRelaxed Exit Strategy GIF by Hannah Bronfman Giphy
"I got a professional full body (everything but my man parts) massage a few years back for the first and so far only time at a spa after the recommendation from a coworker. I felt like I was floating on a cloud for the next few days."
Through your nose...
"Sneezing when you're sick. Then you get that about 20 second feeling of breathing through your nose again and you like ahh that's what I aspire to at the moment."
"Or the very last sneeze of your illness. During a fire drill in high school, I was ambling out after fighting a head old for a few days. The alarm was killing my head which was already throbbing from the sinus pressure."
"I was nearing the field, well away from my classmates, when I cough/sneezed out a huge, green loogie - cleared it about three feet, no icky trail - and by the time I was walking back to the building I was feeling pretty much back to normal. No more head cold after that. Never had something like that ever happen again where there was such an abrupt end to the head cold."
"Right after a migraine goes away. It's almost a spiritual experience."
"This was going to be my answer. I was in the ER one time for a really bad migraine. They gave me what they called a 'migraine cocktail.' When they pushed it through the IV I could feel the cold liquid make its way through my body, up to my head. Once it hit my brain, the migraine was gone. It was pure ecstasy. Even better was that cocktail had Benadryl in it so I fell asleep not long after and slept so good."
"That stretch til you shake when you wake up."
"I once stretched too hard in the morning and got the worst calf cramp ever... it looked like a prune and I thought I would die from the pain. Couldn't stretch in bed for months afterwards out of fear it would happen again."
"When you move over 50, it turns into that stretch til you put your back into a muscle spasm that lasts days."
The ItchScratching Feel Good GIF by 60 Second DocsGiphy
"I had a cast and splint on both my legs for 2 months. When they cut it off, they scratched my legs for me and the itch was just top notch! Yeah."
Itching an itch can change a life.
YUM!Emma Stone High Quality GIFGiphy
"When you're starving all day and devour a bomb a** meal."
Sleep for Life
"When you’ve been up for 20 hours+ and finally get into bed and you just know it’ll be the best sleep of your life."
"But man, after 36+ hours, the body sort of aches and it's hard to fall asleep despite being completely exhausted. Then the restless legs kick in... ugh. I do agree that a 20hr-ish stint is amazing to cuddle into, especially if you don't have to get up at any specific time the next day."
"Makes it better when you’ve been sleep deprived for weeks and know you have NO PLANS tomorrow and can sleep as much as you need."
"When you're absolutely busting for a pee and you can finally go!"
"Apparently there’s a thing called a 'pee-gasm' that people (usually women) have that causes an orgasmic feeling when you pee after holding it for a while! I’ve definitely experienced this and I’ve intentionally waited a while so I could have that good feeling... lol."
I Can Hear!!
"The feeling of water leaving your ear after being there all day."
"I had some impacted earwax for a week in one ear, and when it finally got removed it was the best feeling in the world. Initially it was like having a tv or radio in my ear that only had static, but then I could hear. Good god, I could hear. It was amazing."
"Oh man, and it’s WARM from being in your head, and the warmth makes the sensation of leaving even better."
A Good Restdog puppy GIFGiphy
"Sleeping in a warm blanket in winters."
"Or sleeping in a cold blanket in summer."
I am enthralled by all of those things.
People need to stop throwing out unwanted advice.
And when it is requested, think before you speak.
People with mental disorders don't need everyone telling them they have a fix like "exercise" or "herbal supplements."
Redditor Gold-Ad-2827 asked:
"People with mental disorders: What do you hate being told the most?"
I hated being told to just smile. You smile and go away.
Duhseth meyers GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy
"It's all in your head. Where else would it?! My colon?"
"Everybody goes through that."
"This saying makes my blood boil. Or the 'I was that age once too ya know' yeah no sh*t you were that age once. And just because you were that age once doesn’t mean we have the same experience."
"They try to minimize it."
"You're worried? Just stop."
"You're sad? Just don't be."
"You're compulsively binge eating? Eat less."
"Thanks for that stellar advice."
"Or even better, 'Just do it!' As if ADHD paralysis can be stopped with a can-do attitude."
"I get so frustrated when people treat the idea of 'holistic medicine' as some kind of woo. How does it escape so many people that the body works holistically? Even a lot of doctors seem to ignore this. It's very frustrating when you have 2 or 3 or 4 illnesses that are all affecting each other, and your 'physical health' is held distinct from your mental health, and nothing anyone is doing to treat you works because no one's looking at the whole system."
"I just got a lecture from a psychiatrist I am seeing about nutrition, and he apologized to me for doing so but I told him, 'No, I appreciate it. Do it for all your patients.' because it told me he's trying to look at the whole picture and actually fix what's wrong. It gave me faith in him."
RelaxCalm Down Golden Girls GIF by TV LandGiphy
"You need to calm down."
"Never is the history of calm down has calm down ever caused anyone to calm down."
Calm down. I hate that one. You calm down.
TipsSeason 23 Reaction GIF by Law & OrderGiphy
"When they try to give me tips on what to do, like bruh as if I didn't already try that."
"You don't look sad. No crap... that's so I can avoid having this conversation. Also depression isn't 'being sad' like people think."
"God, I hate this. It's because saying 'I'm depressed' has been standard for people expressing that they're slightly unhappy about something dumb like not getting enough croutons on their salad or some crap. Now that's just what everyone assumes you mean when you say you have depression."
"'Stop being lazy.'"
“'Lazy' is when you don’t want to do anything at all. 'Executive disfunction' is when you can do everything at all, but that one easy quick thing that you do want to do just makes you and your brain freeze completely days ahead. I’m tired of people not understand that even when I explain and look at me like I’m bullshitting instead."
Ways to Cope
"Maybe you should try praying harder. I did, He prescribed medication."
"Praying is a way to cope for a lot of people, I think. That's totally fine, but insisting on praying in lieu of getting real help or actually addressing the issue is when it is not only unhelpful, but dangerously detrimental."
"Religious people will bypass everyone’s cultures, identity, views, and feelings just to be right and make a point. it’s disgusting. I read somewhere that real so called Christianity is all wrong. The real faith is from the Aramaic history and all the meanings were misinterpreted and the stories and all were made up by Catholics wanting to control their people. Yuck."
'contamination'Disgusted Season 6 GIF by Brooklyn Nine-NineGiphy
"As someone with OCD with a lot of attention to 'contamination', having someone try to explain contradictions in why I'm doing something that is technically unclean when I wouldn't do something that is technically clean due to OCD. There are a few doorknobs that I will not touch no matter how much you clean them in front of me and I know it makes no sense, if it made sense I wouldn't have OCD i'd just be cleanly."
Stop trying to be an armchair therapist. Be empathetic to people first.