Some, however, have experienced their share of sartorial "accidents" not that dissimilar of Janet Jackson's "nipple flash" at the 2004 Super Bowl halftime show.
Curious to hear wild anecdotes from strangers online, Redditor Altaltalt17 asked:
"What's your most embarrassing wardrobe malfunction story?"
These Redditors were distracted or in a hurry and paid the price.
Forgotten Headpiece
"I bought a wireless gaming headset, very comfy and you forget that you have it on.. So I was buying groceries one day and felt an itch on my head and bam there was the headset.."
– Due_Elk2349
Garment Gaffe
"I usually worked nights, but had to go in the next morning for an early meeting (because f'k the night shift, let's have a 10am compulsory in-person meeting.)"
"I went home, crashed for a few hours, then threw the same clothes back on and drove back into work."
"I'm walking into the meeting looking like an angry sleep-deprived hobo, and all the senior management are there. My boss, his boss, his boss' boss. About 30 people, all up."
"As I'm walking across the room, I feel something in the leg of my jeans. I shake my leg a bit. Something falls out. The company COO looks down and says 'um, I think you dropped something.'"
"It's my underwear. They were still in the leg of my jeans, and now they were on the boardroom floor. Bright, eye-catchingly red underwear."
– FormalMango
Some things were better left unseen.
The Cod
"I was wearing shorts sitting cross-legged on the side walk in front of my friends house. His mom said, 'your cod is hanging out.' I looked down and saw that my family jewels were indeed hanging out. I jumped and ran home the most embarrassed I have ever been."
– rustiesbagel
The Hole Story
"When I was in college my truck was stolen. I had several roommates and they often borrowed my it, so I wasn't concerned when I heard it start up and drive off at about 11:30 at night. When it still hadn't returned by 12:30, I threw on a pair of comfy shorts and went to see who had taken it. All my roommates were in the house. Sh*t."
"I called the police, and shortly after I had an officer in my living room. He's taking my report, but being really weird about it. I'm sitting on the couch across the room from him, and he won't look me in the eye. In fact, it's like he's doing everything in his power to not look at me at all. I'm starting to get a little frustrated, but it's almost done... so no harm, no foul."
"Then I look down. My comfy shorts had a relatively small hole in the crotch (which I knew about). What I didn't know is that somehow, my entire package of family jewels had worked its way through the hole and was now dangling like a light pink speedbag. I probably should have stopped, rearranged and fixed my issue.. but I brazened through. He finished the report and was out of there."
"The police never did find the truck, or who stole it. However, it appeared about three weeks later in a bar parking lot about a block from my house with the keys in the ignition and a full tank of diesel."
– BetterOffBrand
Full Moon Rising
"Oh. I have a good one. Ice skating ⛸ in Bryant Park (New York City). I fell on my butt, got back up, kept skating. I started seeing people staring and pointing at me."
"My then-bf came speed skating up to me and told me that my pants and panties ripped and my entire butt was exposed. That explained why my butt felt super cold."
"He took off his coat so I could wear it around my waist and cover my butt. So yeah. Accidentally exposed my butt to the public in near/freezing temperatures."
– hypnobooty
Nothing could prepare these Redditors for what happened.
The Failed Wardrobe
"One year ago when I had just moved into my current flat I was in need of a wardrobe, as I didn't have any places to store my clothes. I found one for super cheap on willhaben (Austrian craigslist) just down the street and managed to fit every piece of it (it's an IKEA wardrobe) on one of those little trolley things. Wheeled it home and assembled it in fifteen minutes. Easy peasy."
"The next thirty minutes were spent hanging my shirts onto hangers, neatly folding my pants, trying my hardest to be orderly. Eventually my folded clothes are stacked neatly in the bottom and i finish hanging up my shirts and coats. I close the wardrobe door and leave my room, only to hear a fantastical crash and knew in an instant what had just occurred."
"My wardrobe failed. More specifically, the little pegs that the middle bar rests on came out and sent all my clothes crashing into a heap."
"Proof: https://imgur.com/o9LgBNr"
– TheMelancholyManatee
The Strangest Superstitions People Actually Observe | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
The world can be a superstitious place. If you've ever knocked on wood or thrown salt over your shoulder then you've run into one or two throughout your life...Unconventional Prom Look
"It was senior prom. My leather shoe's sole decided to abandon me. Had to take a cab home and went back on Nikes. Was given compliments for wearing formal with matching sneakers lol."
– stcloud777
The Crotch Tongue
"I went to a Christian school and we had to memorize a poem and say it in front of the class. If its your day and you are a dude you have to dress up and wear a tie on poem recital day."
"On my day I was super nervous so I ran to the bathroom and went pee and slapped myself in the mirror and said the poem twice before my Freshman English class. When they called my name I went up front and I guess I had forgotten to zip up. My tie was way too long and it went down below my belt, through my zipper and was sticking out my pants."
"The poem was Robert Frost's The Road Not Taken. I started off strong but then everyone started laughing and pointing down at my crotch. I was stuck, it was like there was a hot spotlight shining right on my face. I just kept saying over and over 'And be one traveler long I stood, long I stood, long I stood.'"
"Finally I had to look down and see why everyone was laughing and pointing. I didn't do it slyly, I just bent over and looked right down in horror at my tie coming out of my unzipped pants and I didn't zip up, I just stood there with my hands in front of my pants until the teacher asked me if I wanted to sit down and try again later. I will never forget that horrifying experience."
– Ask_me_4_a_story
Full Exposure
"Mucking around with friends dad's scuba diving gear in her pool. The harness(?) had pulled my bikini off, nipple hanging all the way out. I asked her dad for help adjusting the straps, completely oblivious I had the goods out."
– bugcatche
The wardrobe department in some of the shows I've worked in as an ensemble dancer were none-too-pleased about the repeated work they've had to do on some of my costumes.
I take full responsibility because I would goof off backstage by engaging in interpretive dance maneuvers in between production numbers. Keep in mind the costumes I wore were not designed with elasticity for some of the shows.
So whenever I would do a high kick to my forehead and go into a split backstage for no reason, whatsoever, the garment in the crotch area would, unsurprisingly, come apart to reveal a spontaneous cameo.
This has happened a number of times, I'm embarrassed to admit, when I was waaaay too immature to be working in professional theater.
Now that I'm come to my senses and am a model of professionalism, I'm available once again to take to the stage! Any takers, theater gods?
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