The Debunked Parenting Myths That People Still Somehow Believe
Reddit user BITE_AU_CHOCOLAT asked: 'What's a disproven parenting myth that way too many people still believe?'
Some haters will disagree, but parenting is hard. Every parent is going to experience their journey differently from the next parent, and it stands to reason that they're going to make some differing decisions, too.
But some decisions are made based on facts while others are made based on old wives' tales and myths, some of which have long since been debunked.
Because that's how Grandma did it and how Mom did it, some of these myths are trying their best to stand the test of time!
Redditor BITE_AU_CHOCOLAT asked:
"What's a disproven parenting myth that way too many people still believe?"
Allergy Prevention
"To prevent allergies, avoid giving your child these foods until they are much older…"
"It has been proven over and over again that exposing your child to traditionally allergy-prone foods in very small amounts when they are younger drastically reduces allergy potential. Even to the point of doing so in utero."
- UsesCommonSense
Instant Maturity
"Having a kid will cause someone to step up or straighten out or grow up or mature, etc."
- Exploding_Muffin
"I have a family member that tried this. He and his girlfriend were addicts. They specifically decided that they should try to get pregnant as motivation to stop doing drugs. It didn't work."
- HoopOnPoop
Nonverbal, Not Deaf
"That nonverbal kids don’t understand what you say. This one is common in the autism community."
- Kwyjibo68
"I work in dementia care. Lord knows this isn’t the truth for either population."
"A lady I took care of several years ago was thought to be nonverbal and beyond the ability to understand speech. We were changing her one night, and she looked at me and said, 'When does school start back?'"
"Clear as a bell. I was in college at the time."
- bookishkelly1005
No Spoiled Newborns
"You can not spoil a newborn. Their brain is still quite underdeveloped, and actually, by refusing to answer their calls, you can give them self-regulation issues as they develop without that safety in processing new stimuli."
"Edited to Add: I said newborn because I meant newborns. Not babies that need to be practicing lifting their head, etc. There are people who start fussing at parents about this as soon as they bring their newborn home, forgetting that this baby is experiencing everything BRAND NEW, and needs a safety system."
"And also I did raise two humans, and I very much remember being a new mom."
- TinyGreenTurtles
The Power of Multilingualism
"That a child shouldn’t be exposed to a second (or third) language until having mastered their native language. I’ve heard this so many times from people who have no idea about multilingualism."
- lrbdad626
"My sister's first language is English, and her husband's is Spanish. They're both bilingual and speak both languages in their household."
"My sister remembers her daughter noticing when they switched between languages when she was well under a year old. She'd be watching them intently and do a little startle when they switched. Kids' receptive language develops earlier than a lot of people realize."
- dorky2
Dads Are Parents, Too
"Dads are more than babysitters."
"It's been 20+ years since I was a single father, but the attitudes towards men and parenthood haven't changed as much as they should have."
"Don't ask a dad if he is giving mom a break today. Don't assume dad doesn't know how to settle down their child. Don't stare at Dad at the park when Dad is there with his kid(s). And for god's sake, can businesses install a change table in the men's washroom!"
- keiths31
"Oh yeah, this p**ses me off to no end. And no matter how many times we tell the school not to, they will ONLY call my wife if there is some issue during the day. She is 100% unavailable during the day, while I WFH (work from home) and can come deal with anything at a moment's notice."
"Once, my poor kid sat in the infirmary for two hours because they were waiting for mom to return their call. Finally, she herself piped up and said, 'Can you try calling my dad instead?' and I was there five minutes later. You would think they would eventually learn but nope... still happens to this day."
- dcmcderm
Why Is Comfort So Taboo?
"Picking up your baby too much will spoil them. For f**k's sake… pick up a crying child and meet their needs. Sometimes it's just a need for comfort and bonding with their caretaker."
- laurenderson
Disturbing Gender Norms
"Daughters are nightmares and sons are so easy to raise."
"The really disturbing part is women seem to believe this more than men."
- lilymunsterisaqueen
Best Practices, Who?
"That there is anything even remotely approaching a consensus on best practices when it comes to raising a child. I've only been a parent for five months and the sheer volume of confident, authoritative, and completely contradictory advice I've received has been staggering."
"As best as I can tell, just work on keeping them healthy, secure, and loved, and try to muddle your way through as best you can on rest."
- liebkartoffel
Don't Let Regret Run the Show
"I'm an older parent. In my opinion, a lot of who the kids grow up to become is simply them. For the kids who turn out well or don't, people will look back and think, 'If I had only done this more often!' and pass it off as advice."
"Parents shouldn't beat themselves up. Don't traumatize the kids. Don't spoil them. Support them in their interests. Outside of that, just let them become who they will become and enjoy the ride. It's a shorter run than you think at the time."
"At some point, we as a society may find that electronics are bad, something in our food is a problem, lack of interaction is an issue, etc. but as an individual parent, it's really hard to swim against the stream. It's fine to research and take reasonable steps to avoid this but I see too many young parents totally overwhelmed with advice and data."
- fish1900
Breaking the Cycle
"That all parents, specifically mothers, have an instinct that will kick in eventually and your child will be your world."
"Mine told me from a very early age that I wasn't the kid she'd wanted, I was ugly, fat, whatever. I finally ended things completely this year when she told me she's always hated me and never wanted me. I needed the closure."
"She made my life h**l, especially since she had two kids after me that she loves."
"My daughter hasn't ever been shouted at (by that, I mean raising my voice), hurt, or made to feel like less than the wonderful person she is. I suppose I can thank my mother for showing me how not to be."
- earthtomanda
Not the Same AT ALL
"That love, respect, and fear are the same thing. They're f**king not."
- LaliMaia
"'Is it better to be loved or feared?"
"'I want my kids to be afraid of how much they love me.' from Michael Scott's School of Parenting (on 'The Office')."
- Millerisabast**dMan
Not In Debt
"This destructive myth that we are OWED respect and love from our kids. NOPE!"
"They are attached to us, yes, but love and respect are earned. Fear is not respect; guilt is not love; we chose to have kids, they had no say in the matter. It is incumbent upon us to reach them by mirroring the behaviors we value."
- I_wear_foxgloves
"This goes hand in hand with some parents thinking their kids owe them anything in return for meeting their basic needs. You see this especially when children become adults."
"Parents telling their adult children, 'You owe me X because I fed you and gave you a roof over your head.' It’s utter bulls**t. Your child never signed a contract saying that in order to be born, they owe you something in the future."
"Keeping a child safe, providing food and water, a roof over their head, etc… those are basic needs that your child deserves. If you aren’t prepared to provide those things, don’t become a parent. Your kids don’t owe you anything, not as children and not as adults. Respect is earned and not bought. A child’s relationship with their parent(s) is not transactional."
- CatmoCatmo
Public vs. Private
"That you can tell if a stranger is a good parent by how their kid behaves in a random instance you happen to observe."
- JuniorPomegranate9
Resilience as an Excuse
"Kids are resilient and will get over stuff without it correctly being addressed."
"No, we remember everything In our tiny and impressionable brains."
- Pleasant_Tooth_2488
The misconceptions presented here are truly heartbreaking in some cases and mind-boggling in others.
It's hard to unlearn behaviors and what we thought were facts, yes, but if we want to be better people, and better parents, we absolutely have to figure out how to do it.
Regrets Of Parents Who Raised Jerks
Reddit user hurricanehershel asked: 'Parents who tried their best to raise their kids to be good humans but they turned out to be jerks, what do you wish you did differently?'
It seems reasonable enough to assume that most parents would do their best to raise children who would grow up to be kind, contributing adults.
But not every kid will turn out to be the sweetest person, and hindsight can only help so much.
Redditor hurricanehershel asked:
"Parents who tried their best to raise their kids to be good humans but they turned out to be jerks, what do you wish you did differently?"
Dynamic Issues
"I'm speaking as a teacher... but I've seen wildly different siblings. I think parents need to get a handle on that dynamic. A lot of perfectionist older siblings and younger ones who can't achieve at that level and act out instead to find how they can earn attention."
- big_nothing_burger
Individual People
"People need to stop treating kids as carbon copies of their older siblings. And I say this as the eldest child who differs greatly in personality and interests from my younger sibling."
"It’s not fair to anyone, least of all the kid who has to deal with being measured by someone else’s standard."
"Everyone is their own person, including the twins I’ve known had different personalities and interests if one cared to observe."
- UnknownCitizen77
Coparenting Troubles
"Be very careful WHO you have kids with. If I could do it all over again, I would have chosen better. They ended up with one responsible parent who was completely overwhelmed trying to do the job of two people."
- heatherLovesbrandon
Get On Their Level
"I have a son who just turned five, and I can see all the hallmarks of ADHD (which I have, and most people in my family have)."
"He behaves so much like my younger sister did when she was young, and I found myself going through the cycle of bad behavior to punishment to worse behavior to worse punishment, just like my parents did with my sister."
"Recently I’ve been trying to connect with the person who I was when I was younger, when I wasn’t 'in charge,' and my sister would calm down for me and listen to me."
"It’s helping so much. I still need my kid to stop throwing s**t (makes my blood absolutely boil), but we are making progress."
"Kids are f**king exhausting and I hope I don’t end up accidentally raising an a**hole."
- embrielle
Resentful Parents
"In my opinion, the one defining characteristic of bad parents is being resentful of their own children. Resentful that they took some of their freedom, resentful of their youth, resentful of their opportunities, resentful of their intelligence, resentful of their beauty, resentful of their possessions, resentful of their education, resentful of their accomplishments, resentful of their happiness, etc."
"I think this is FAR more common than most people realize. These parents may consciously 'provide' for their kids while they unconsciously sabotage them. The kids pick up on this and end up aspiring to their parents’ unspoken expectations."
"Good parents want their kids to exceed their own achievements and, most importantly, to be happy. Good parents are empathetic to their children. They’re happy when their kids are happy. They’re sad when their kids are sad."
"Resentful parents don’t really want their kids to be happy unless they credit the parents for their happiness. No achievement belongs to the kids, but every failure does."
- scsuhockey
Going No Contact
"I wish I knew that some grandparents shouldn’t be allowed to have a relationship with a vulnerable, easily manipulated child. I wish I knew it was okay to cut people out of your life."
- comeupforairyouweirdo
Good Models and Boundaries
"I worked with youth for a while in a poorer rural part of America and in my anecdotal experience, there are two types of kids that can turn into bad humans."
"One, they've just had tough lives and no good role models. If you get to know them, you realize they are just normal kids that have never been given the tools, opportunity, or encouragement to act any differently. If no one figures out how to intervene, it becomes a pattern of life for them that spirals out of control."
"Two, kids that never suffer the consequences of their actions. They tend to have really 'nice' caregivers who have a knack for getting their kids out of trouble. When I say they don't suffer consequences, I mean literally. Their parents do their homework, their parents lie for them, their parents don't ever tell them 'no.' Their caregivers also don't supervise them but whenever anything happens, they are easily manipulated by their child and take whatever their child says as gospel truth without question."
"And although the parents don't supervise their children, they seem all too willing to give them everything their child asks for (within the confines of their economic class). The caregivers are somehow both emotionally neglectful but also always there to help their child out of a jam. In a way that feels like they want to be manipulated by their child."
"Kids in the first category will do something bad and you go, 'How could they be so stupid?'"
"When kids in the second category do something bad, your reaction is, 'It's only a matter of time before they kill someone.'"
"I knew a lot of young adults that got in trouble with the law, but it was only people from category two that got tried for murder and manslaughter."
- JamesVogner
Practice What You Preach
"Generally speaking, If you try to teach your kid something and ARE NOT the example, you might as well not have wasted your time."
- forex__1911
"'The best field anthropologist in the world is a kid watching the grownups.'"
- BobMacActual
Giving Up Control
"Ugh. We talked to our son about everything under the sun. We had an open forum. We talked extensively about money management, sexuality, dating, how to treat other people, drug use, alcoholism, and its consequences."
"He and I also watched a ton of documentaries together on all of the above topics. I have a thing for shows like 'Underground Inc,' 'Drugs Inc,' 'Broken,' and mini-series like 'Dopesick.'"
"Once he turned 18, he began to do literally everything we advised against. It's been a hard few years. After losing his girlfriend, losing his job, and spending some time in jail, I think he's starting to listen."
"He's been doing a very good job lately. We love him and we support him despite how hard it's been. I feel bad even typing this..."
"It's really tough to look back and legitimately say what could have been done differently. What I can say to upcoming parents is:"
"Don't give up on your kid."
"Do the best you can."
"You can't control everything."
- YamahaRyoko
The Confidence of a King
"I have one child, the youngest, who I'm starting to worry about. He's tall, athletic, attractive, and very charismatic. I feel like it's a constant battle between teaching him respect and humility and the worship he gets at school."
"At his age, he's not prepared to deal with all these peers who want his attention, tell him how great he is, and the girls lining up to talk to him."
"Yeah, don't we all wish we had this problem as teens? Anyway, it's a struggle. He's gotten cocky and thinks life will just keep on treating him like a king."
"And maybe it will, he's got the type of personality that makes people want him around. But he needs to treat others with the same respect he expects for himself. Confidence is good but it needs to be combined with kindness."
"Our other children are very level-headed and what we feel are good people. I hope we get to properly teach this to our youngest and that he takes it to heart and chooses to be a good person."
- KelvinGauss
Letting Them Fail
"We wanted our kids to be happy so I think we coddled and spoiled them. They aren’t ready to function independently in the adult world."
"In retrospect, I think learning some hard lessons growing up helps prepare them and is less damaging than learning those lessons as adults."
"Edit: to clarify, they aren’t jerks, just not ready to be adults."
- albygolfer
Keep Teaching Them
"The only thing you can really do is teach them. They will become who they will become eventually."
"Also, when I say 'teach them,' I don’t just mean to preach things. Lead by example. Do you want to teach them to be kind and generous? Then do those things YOURSELVES. If they watch you serve others in need and get joy from that or love those around you, they may grow up wanting that joy themselves."
"You want them to be responsible with alcohol? SHOW them how to be responsible."
"Do you want them to learn from their mistakes? Then when you make a mistake, own up to it and apologize. Show them no one should be too prideful to admit they were wrong and do better the next time."
"If you preach kindness and such, but your actions show otherwise, it will come off as hypocritical. Kids know when you are sincere."
- -You-know-it-
Equal Treatment
"My mom once told me that she wishes she treated my brother the way she treated me. I was the oldest and her first so she pushed me and gave me high benchmarks, but she realized too late that because she was the youngest and her baby she forgave him too easily and let him do anything he wanted."
"That by the time she realized that he was an entitled jerk, it was too late (his mid-20s). 'It’s my fault he’s a narcissist. I gave him everything he wanted and made him believe he deserved it because he was my precious little boy.'"
- SeattleTrashPanda
Good Humans Raise Good Humans
"The idea of 'tried their best' is so subjective. Every circumstance is so different. You get the full spectrum of what 'trying' is defined as."
"Some parents say how hard they work and how good of a parent they were, but then you find out they were abusive thinking that it was good parenting. Or vice versa. Parents who say they failed and their kids are all good kids."
"The bottom line, with so many factors and external variables, it's hard to know what the true formula is. My only advice is to try and be a good human and your kids will most likely follow suit."
- Forward_While_4411
While all of these parents wished they had known or done something sooner, at least these are actions they can continue to improve on during their relationship with their children or adult children.
And hopefully parents reading these insights can avoid making the same mistakes.
Things People Learned From Their Parents That They Didn't Realize Were F**ked Up Until Later In Life
It's always nice to think that parents are doing everything they can to raise their children, but as humans, they're all going to make mistakes.
But as many people will discover, their parents also taught them some terrible lessons when they were young.
Redditor timdood3 asked:
"What did your parents teach you as a kid that you didn't realize was actually f**ked up until you were older?"
What Is Self-Love?
"In an effort to teach me to be considerate, or not selfish, I guess, my dad said, 'Love yourself last' more than a few times to me. That’s a mess I’ve been untangling for about 35 years."
- Eauxddeaux
Guard Birds
"My mom told me that, on some buildings, there weren’t guard dogs but rather guard birds. These birds were trained to peck your eyes out if you trespassed. I believed this till I was 16 and have been afraid of birds ever since."
- GudatPickinUsernames
Desensitized
"My grandparents were morticians... I remember sitting on an embalming table, swinging my legs back and forth off the table, while watching my grandfather embalm someone and talk to me about what he was doing. I was seven."
"It's honestly a great memory and the many times I had with him like that taught me a lot about how to deal with death, how life is cherished, how different grief can be from person to person, and how to be emotionally strong for others."
"Good guy... Just was very desensitized to his work's more macabre parts."
"To add to this story, my grandparents were morticians for work, owning their own funeral home, but magicians as a hobby, frequently traveling with and training other magicians."
"When my grandfather passed away, we had a special service just for his magician friends. Some of the most famous magicians in the world showed up for the wand breaking, where my grandfather's wand was broken in two."
- Lord_Blackthorn
The Extensive Scapegoating
"For me, it was after they'd duped a child psychologist. I was in what? Second or third grade?"
"But I realized that they were so good at pretending to be the best people in the world that they could act as if I was the terrible one. They would always find a way to pass me as the monster instead of them."
"It didn't matter who I would have told."
- ThrownToDiscard
"As a former scapegoat child, I can tell you, unequivocally, that you were never the problem. They were the monsters."
- ResultJolly7112
The Truth Behind Child Protective Services
"My mom somehow convinced me that 'child protective services' were the bad guys."
"Finding out (well into adulthood) that they take children away from biological parents' care only as an extreme last resort was a bit of a shocker."
"It also makes me wonder just how much she was doing, that she knew was f**ked up, and I just didn't bother remembering because it had always been that way for me."
- DisposableTires
Don't Be a Burden
"Do not ever be a bother to anyone. Solve all your problems by yourself."
- Soobobaloula
"I feel this one. My parents paired it with 'always be accommodating to others.' Made it so I had very few boundaries and always tried to help others even when I didn't want to, but could never ask or accept help when offered. Not a great mix for the abusive relationships I faced as I got older."
- joyfall
"It really hit me when we were walking on a wide sidewalk. A group approached and my mom shoved me off onto the grass, even though the group had plenty of room. Your own kid gets body-checked so you don’t even have the appearance of slightly inconveniencing strangers."
- Soobobaloula
"My oldest kid asked me once, just out of curiosity, 'How come you always have to hop off the path when people are coming? But they never do?'"
"That hit me like a sack of bricks. That it was that noticeable for my kid to pick up. I never made him move, but I always do. Even now. Hard habit to break."
- ahalfdozen6
Intellectual Awareness
"They made me distrust my own intelligence. They talked down to me and treated me like an airhead, giving me a smirk every time I tried to be serious about anything."
"It wasn’t until I was an adult that I learned that I am intelligent and gained self-confidence despite the negative self-esteem they had instilled in me."
- Kelbel2525
Drinking and Driving
"My Dad told me he could drink beer in the car if he drank it while the car was stopped. It’s only drinking and driving if the car is in motion. I was like makes sense. I was around four."
- Diggler149
"My dad got me a job when I was 18, so I'd drive in with him. On the way home, he would beeline for the liquor store. He'd drink a half pint and two Budweisers on a 30-minute ride home, three to five times a week. I thought this was just what people did after work on the way home. Crazy."
- dolo_ran6er
Building Credit and Credit Debt
"I was told, 'Don’t get a credit card.'"
"No one ever told me there’s no interest if you pay on time."
"I could’ve built my credit earlier, but they just didn’t want me to spend money I didn’t have and fall into debt with interest."
"Student Loan Debt, however… yeah that was highly encouraged by every adult around me…"
- LetsJerkCircular
"My dad was 'teaching' me about credit cards and said you can just make the minimum payment every month. It blew my mind, and made it seem like free money. Thank god I didn’t take that advice. I pay my credit card off every month and he’s drowning in credit card debt."
- lilmrs-t
Grief is Unacceptable
"If you’re sad, that means the devil is inside you and you need to pray for forgiveness."
"I was six, and my cat had just died."
- AngstyRacc00n
Hold Grudges
"After arguing with a girlfriend and not speaking with her for a few days, BOTH my parents told me separately to hold onto my beef with her like a grudge and use it against her later."
"I've been married to the girlfriend now 25 years this year, never once took my parents' advice, and have NO IDEA how my parent's marriage survived, lol (laughing out loud)."
- mcbrian67
"I have a couple in my family like that. Any time I was at their house, without fail, they would be making passive-aggressive comments, sniping at each other, bringing up all sorts of past s**t, etc..."
"As a kid, I never looked forward to going to their place, because it was always incredibly awkward. Yet, they've been married for close to 50 years. It's like bitching at each other nonstop is their love language."
"My mom always said she was so happy the two of them found each other, if for nothing else than that it spared two other innocent people from having to put up with them."
- DisturbedNocturne
Exposure Therapy
"I always had anxiety as a child, and my mother said the only way to get over it is to deal with the situation head-on. Sounds great until I told her my fear of escalators and she pushed me down, and I fell and almost got my hair caught."
"Another thing she loved to teach me is how self-defense is necessary. Great! Where do I take lessons? There were no lessons.. she said being with my abusive ex was enough of a lesson. I should have learned then."
- throwrathebagelway
Debilitating Perfectionism
"My dad instilled crippling perfectionism in me, which I realized was insane when I got older and people told me to just 'do my best.'"
"When I was in grade school, I would come to my dad with A’s all super excited. But, if it was anything less than a 100%, he would ask for the missing percentage. So, when I had a 98%, he’d say, 'Well, where’s the 2%?' And now, if I do anything less than perfect, I beat myself up."
- Gremlin-o-Chaos
Make It Make Sense
"I was scolded for pouting, stomping my feet, and being sad. I ended up avoiding all of those when I grew up and became secretive about my emotions. Then, they would get mad at me for not opening up."
- sword_of_gibril
While we all like to think the best of our parents, many people have come to terms with the mistakes their parents made, including the false information they were given.
The problem with so much of this information is how hard it is to unlearn, and how deeply traumatizing it can be to discover we were traumatized.
A tough realization that most of us have to process and accept at some point is the fact that our parents lied to us when we were kids.
But the tougher fact to process may not be the lying itself, but some of the lies that were told along the way.
Redditor Fearless-surfur-ee asked:
"What was the biggest lie you believed?"
Adulting 101
"That adults knew what they were doing."
- yukipurple
"Maybe not ALL adults, but I definitely thought that adults with responsible jobs have their s**t together. Then I realized they do not have their s**t together at all."
"Which in turn makes me feel somewhat better about being an adult with a responsible job who does not have their s**t together."
- kjhwkejhkhdsfkjhsdkf
Moving Violations
"It’s illegal to turn on the dome light while the vehicle is moving."
"Nope. Turns out it’s just annoying as h**l."
- OstrichMan975
A Lottery Trick
"When I was a kid, my cousin convinced me for, like, an hour that her mom had won the lottery. I can still feel the loss of millions of dollars two decades later, and that s**t hurts, bro."
"WHY, JESSICA, WHY?!"
- iforgotwhereiparked
That Truth Hurts
"I’ll fill up my car with gas before work tomorrow morning."
- hoangtudude
"I will do stuff like this for my fiancé in a heartbeat, but if I need to fill up my own gas tank to avoid doing it tomorrow? That sounds like a problem for future me."
- robbviously
When That Grief Hits Seven Years Later...
"My mom told me when I was five and my favorite dog died that it doesn't matter that dogs die, because in seven years, they respawn."
"So I was like, 'Oh, fine. See you then, bud, I will be older, and we will play again.'"
- josevilla7
Replacement Pets
"My hamster died while I was in school. Went back home, and I instantly saw he was a little bit different."
"My mum tricked me into thinking it was the same hamster and he hadn't changed a bit."
"Mom told me the truth a few years later. I was so p**sed off."
- changethename7
"My mom has done the same thing with my nephew’s parakeet. One day, Pickles #1 flew into the pantry, somehow got stuck in a case of Diet Coke, and got crushed by a can avalanche."
"He was immediately replaced by Pickles #2. My nephew asked why Pickles was so mean to him now. Pickles #2 is an a**hole."
"I’m suspicious that we are on Pickles #3 now but I don’t want to know for sure."
- Brotox123
"My mother's cousin did that with her little boy's rabbit."
"The new rabbit was a psychopath. Having his previously loving rabbit now hate him and repeatedly attack him was almost certainly more traumatizing than learning about death."
"I always wondered if stories like that were part of the inspiration for 'Pet Sematary.'"
- victoriaj
Just in Case
"The microwave will explode if I put my face too close to it while it’s heating food."
- ezzysalazar
A SUPER Secret Affair
"That my parents were married."
"The truth is, my father was, just not to my mother."
- left_over_croissant
A Creative Story
"That my dad moved out and rented a room in the house of a female friend for tax reasons."
- Eldhannas
Such Good Friends
"Outside of dumb lies your parents tell you as kids, my friend who worked at a gas station with a big food station that has some ground beef items told me they use kangaroo meat for their ground beef because it was cheaper than cow."
"I am gullible with my friends."
- _Goose_
The Lie That Keeps Going
"When I was 15, over my summer break, one day my mom called and said she was gonna pick me up and we were gonna go to my stepdad's for the weekend."
"I didn’t understand why I had to go when she would leave me at home by myself for the weekend all the time. I was old enough that I knew the rules and she could trust me."
"She told me there was a mixup at the electrical company and they seem to think we didn’t pay the bill and so the power was gonna be shut off, so we were gonna go to my stepdad's until that got sorted."
"That was a lie."
"A weekend turned into two weeks, which turned into a month, and then the entire summer. We hadn’t been home in over two months. I kept asking when we could go home and she’d always have an excuse."
"We reached September, she’s driving me from one city to my hometown to register for the following year of school, which started up in a week, and this was the closest I had been to home in two months! After I registered, we bypassed my house and started heading towards the highway to go back to my stepdad’s."
"It was at that moment I snapped and started freaking out! I knew something was wrong."
"She pulled the car over and started crying. Apparently, my brother had been helping her pay the bills and when he moved out, she could no longer afford the place on her own. So my stepdad was trying to help but he had his own house and kids he had to look after, and he couldn’t keep it up. We had been evicted."
"We stayed with my stepdad for the summer while my mom tried to work something out with the landlord, but they couldn’t come to an arrangement. Because she never told me, and in order to buy herself time to work something out, she had to be comfortable with potentially leaving EVERYTHING behind…"
"Well, she couldn’t work it out with the landlord and we lost EVERYTHING. The only thing I got out of that house was the shoes on my feet and a few outfits and pajamas enough for a weekend stay."
"My mother wanted to keep the lie going for as long as she could to buy herself time that she had to leave behind everything to keep it going. She never went back for anything, so eventually I can only assume it was all thrown away."
"So not only did I lose material belongings like my computer, my video games, and all my clothes, but I lost basic things like my own bedroom… and privacy as a teenager! I slept on my stepdad’s couch for almost two years until his daughters moved out and I took over their old room."
"But I also lost sentimental things like childhood pictures/videos, the memory box I started when I was seven, and the porcelain dolls my dad had given me over the years, he bought me two per year (birthday and Christmas,) and now that my dad is dead, those are things I wish I still had."
- Neikitia
An Elaborate Tale
"When I was very young, we had a pet hamster. He got out of his cage, so my dad put the cage in the basement, thinking he might get hungry and get back in."
"One morning I woke up and there was the hamster in his cage in the usual place. I asked my mom how they found him and she told me she opened the door to the cellar and there he was dragging his cage back upstairs."
"It wasn't until I was a teenager and remembered the exchange that it occurred to me she obviously made that up."
- censorized
Too Real
"That acne would only be a problem when I was a teenager."
- McGamers56
"I started breaking out in the third grade and haven't had clear skin since. I'll be 27 pretty soon. This one hits home."
- bayleenator
Part of the Family
"When I was like 16, I found out that one of my sisters wasn’t actually my sister. She was actually just best friends with my oldest sister growing up, and she lived with my family from when she was 12 or 13 through 18 (she and my oldest sister are 15 years older than me)."
"Unfortunately, her parents wouldn’t sign her over for adoption and didn’t contribute anything to my mom raising her for six years."
"The weirdest part is that my family is predominantly fair-skinned, blonde with blue eyes, but the girl I thought was my sister was traditional Hispanic with darker skin, dark hair, and brown eyes. My mom was always very tan and had darker skin and hair throughout my childhood, so I thought that my other two sisters and myself were the odd ones out."
- Schleeeeeem
The Deepest Betrayal of All
"On April Fool's while I was getting ready for school on a cold winter day, my mom told me, 'School is canceled! It's a snow day!'"
"I ran around for a good two minutes celebrating before she told me, 'April Fools!'"
"I've never felt so betrayed in my life."
- samivat
"You better be a mastermind supervillain by now."
- T_WREKX
"Thank you for sharing your Joker origin story, lol (laughing out loud)."
- JulienS2000
These lies have a wide range from the hilarious to the absolutely diabolical, maybe even with a few villain origin stories thrown in.
A common thread throughout most of these was someone telling a lie in order to avoid a tougher conversation, which only led the younger person to have a lot more to process later.
Anyone who doesn't have children yet will be told by someone how magical and beautiful being a parent is. Some will even argue that a person's life has not begun until they have kids.
But as some parents will point out, life as a parent is not made up of all unicorns and rainbows, and it certainly doesn't always smell like roses.
Redditor Roxane-Rose asked:
"What is the worst part of being a parent?"
The Constant Worry
"The worry that something horrible will happen to them. Sickness, kidnapping, getting lost, etc."
- MelbaToast604
"Which never, ever goes away. Ever."
- marvelous_much
"Honestly, that's all I ever think about. I have four kids (8, 7, 5, and 1.5), and all I want is for them to become good people."
"I let my fianceé know all the time, our kids will be adults longer than they are children, so we gotta make sure we establish manners, morals, and empathy. We also gotta make sure they have fun."
"I love those little monsters, even tho they're a headache sometimes."
- bafeom
Overrun with Illness
"Being sick as an adult f**king sucks. Being sick and having a sick kid, takes it to a whole new level of suck."
- axron12
"Kids have an incredible ability to get really sick during the most inconvenient times."
- jgiffin
"Four years ago before Christmas, my wife got sick and it turned into pneumonia. She was in the hospital for three days."
"Very scary. I guess. I wouldn't know, I had the flu combined with a stomach bug and both of our boys had strep throat. They were 13 and 8 at the time. They took their meds well as I had alarms set. But I was down and out."
"Day two, I went to a clinic that said stomach bug. On day three, my father (I'm 35 at the time) came and took me to the ER and my sister took my kids."
"It was a nightmare. I couldn't visit my wife in the hospital. My kids called my dad cause I was laid out on the floor. Just a f**king nigtmare. Being sick when your kids are sick makes you feel like the most useless parent in the world."
- normaldeadpool
Inconvenient Injuries
"Kids getting injured at the most inconvenient times. My wife and I had the flu this winter and my three-year-old decided she was going to help us feel better at 3:30 AM by making us tea."
"She got out of bed, went to the kitchen, and dropped a glass teapot on the floor, lacerating her feet."
"So I got to have the flu at the hospital while my daughter got stitches."
- pavorus
Staying Safe
"Always having to be extra careful so that you don't cause them to experience the consequences of losing a parent too soon."
"Sometimes I just want to be dumb and impulsive, and having to always be responsible puts a damper on that some days."
- AJSawASquirrel
"I stopped all of my hobbies because of worrying about my kids well being. I used to ride motorcycles and dirt bikes. I used to play in an adult hockey league. I used to love going to see a concert or sporting event and having a few and taking public transport back."
"Not anymore. And not again until they are fully… like 100% capable of living without my support. I’m 42 and my four sons range from 10 to 19. It’s gonna be another 20 years before I get on a bike again."
"I love them, but it sucks."
- Jcholley81
School Safety
"The worry of picking a preschool that has 'enough' security and safety measures in place has wrecked me."
"We toured the school my toddler will go to this fall and the first thing I asked about is security: locked doors, escorting the kids individually into/out of the building, etc."
"It makes me sick to the stomach that I have to worry about that."
- vk2786
Constant Meal Planning
"Figuring out three meals, 8,000 snacks, 1,000 activities, and settling for the fact they won’t like, want, or do any of them."
- BurThe___Down
"The meals and snacks exhaust me. Constantly having to bring snacks everywhere when they are toddlers, and now that they are almost teenagers they are hungry all of the time. It never stops. I'm always at the grocery or planning meals or cooking meals. It's insanity!"
- Feetyoumeet
"I love to cook, but trying to keep a family fed is exhausting. Once I became a mom, I really started to understand why some people hate cooking."
- KatieCashew
Minimal Me-Time
"No or little free time."
- MissingCalifornia-
"I'm an introvert, I really need my me time to recharge."
"And I have a five-month-old baby that needs me at every moment of the day. I can sometimes get away with leaving him alone during the last hour of his afternoon nap (with the baby monitor on, as he's started rolling and it frightens me), but that's it."
"He needs his mama at all times and throws a fit for anyone else. He won't even really eat or sleep when his grandma takes care of him. I foresee his first month of nursery school being very unpleasant."
- ClancyHabbard
"I find myself staying up a lot later than I used to just because of the fact that I've always enjoyed solitude, and these days, I have very little. So once everyone falls asleep I often lose track of time as, 'Just a few minutes,' to myself turns into two hours before I know it."
- Pristine_Interview86
A Child's Persistence
"Relentlessness. Kids don’t stop, they don’t go away, they always need to be fed, and cleaned, and entertained. They are always there, for 21 years+, they are always there. Every single day, every single hour. Kids are always there."
- Rkozlow
"'Raising children is like getting pecked to death by ducks.' I don't know who first said it, but they knew parenting."
"When the kids were young, my wife and I used to quietly say, 'quackquackquack,' to each other when the relentlessness got a little too stressful."
- PaulsRedditUsername
"I call my child 'The Terminator.'"
- Greatbrandino11
"'That kid is out there. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. it doesn't feel pity or remorse or fear, and it absolutely will not stop… EVER, until you are dead!' - Kyle as a parent, probably."
- PaulClarkLoadletter
What Is Sleep, Again?
"Lack of sleep impacts your ability to do everything else so that’s going as number one."
" Number two, for me, is that sometimes, when they’re having a full-on breakdown because they don’t want to get in the bath they have literally every day on the one day you actually have to be somewhere, I look at them and really miss only taking care of me."
"I still love them, do not regret them, and would never ever tell them, but they make things so much harder than it needs to be because they do not give a crap about any priorities other than their own."
"When that happens I do some deep breathing and remind myself that they’re just little kids, of course, they don’t care about making other people wait."
- LastLadyResting
"The sleep deprivation."
"I'm serious, it wrecked me. I was already suffering from postpartum depression, and I was both breastfeeding and dealing with an unhelpful partner. I didn't sleep much until the baby was about a year old."
"Cognitively and emotionally, it destroyed me. I made stupid mistakes at work and as a parent. I didn't trust or like myself, or the baby."
"That's the number one reason he's an only child. I can't handle the lack of sleep."
"He's an amazing, creative, hilarious 15-year-old now; I love him and I love being the mom of a teenager. For one thing, he sleeps through the night."
- insertcaffeine
An Intro to Death and Grief
"Right now, for me... explaining the concept of death to my three-and-a-half-year-old."
"My MIL (Mother-in-Law) is having their senior dog put down this week, and we have to explain, gently, that kiddo is going to go to Grandma's this week and the dog who has been there her whole life will be gone, and Grandma is going to be sad."
"Also the constant worry and anxiety. That s**t eats you alive."
"(But then you look at them and snuggle them and realize you BUILT A PERSON and my god is amazing. It's a love you will never be able to explain.)"
- vk2786
Excess Funds
"Not me, but my best friend told me the thing he hates the most about being a parent is just not having any money for him to spend on his wife."
"Before they had kids, he would surprise her with little gifts every now and again and it would make her so happy. Now he's starting to feel bad now that he can't do that anymore."
- Author_Story_Teller
Disciplining Them
"The guilt when you have to stand up to your kids and discipline them. It's never fun to see them sad."
- AlwaysNipping
The Imperfections
"The worst part of being a parent is realizing that you're never going to be perfect for them. You're only human yourself. You're weak, you're tired, you're fallible, just like them."
"And as such, you'll do/not-do something and you'll blow it out of proportion and crucify yourself, and you forget that you're just still human too."
"And in that moment, in that lapse in judgment, you'll regret yelling at them, you'll wish you played with them a little bit better, you'll regret getting frustrated and impatient, and you'll regret criticizing them. You'll miss them, wherever they are, whoever old they are."
"The worst part of being a parent is that you can't save them from yourself. It's all in the game of life, and every second of it takes effort and thoughtful energy."
"Some days will be better than others. This too, shall pass."
- Rpark888
Trying to Relate to Them
"As a father, when they were too young and I couldn't connect with them."
"When they are sick, need to undergo an operation... even a blood sample or a vaccine, it really breaks my heart to watch that."
"When you think you are doing that parenting thing right, but somehow your kid does the opposite as you expected."
"When your partner and yourself are not on the same page in terms of parenting and it creates conflicts in the couple."
- borsky
All of the Above
"It depends on what you are already lacking in life."
"Don't have a lot of money? Wait until daycare bills add up."
"Don't have a lot of free time or get much sleep? Welcome to being a zombie for a few years."
"Don't have much patience? You will be tested with every fiber of your being to shake your baby when it won't stop crying. You absolutely CANNOT do this by the way. It's better to put it down in a safe spot for a few minutes till you can do a few deep breaths and calm down and come back a bit more level-headed."
"Have a difficult time agreeing with your spouse on plans or values? Get ready for divorce or for eternal resentment."
"Not much of a sex life? Welcome to celibacy."
"My daughter is the light of my life and I have so much joy with her now that she sleeps through the night and has a personality, but being a dad is hard and I occasionally find myself in a panic attack because I'm nervous for what the h**l I'm gonna do in August when the new one is born. We are privileged in many ways but it's still so hard!"
- GMaharris
Parenting can be a beautiful, life-changing experience, but that does not mean that it's perfect, and it's absolutely not for everyone.
Conversations like this are important for people to have before they decide to have kids, so they can make the best decision for themselves and avoid those situations where uninformed people have kids, only to resent their children for the rest of their time together, which likely would lead to going no-contact.