Things Parents Do That Unknowingly Screw Their Children Over
Reddit user RunningInAHurricane asked: 'What do a lot of parents do that unknowingly screws their children over?'
Ioann-Mark Kuznietsov on Unsplash
Parenting isn't a simple job.
The health, safety and well-being of another human being is on the line. Eventually that human will enter society with all the lessons or traumas of their childhood shaping them.
That's a lot of responsibility.
But even the most well-meaning parents can mess up.
Reddit user RunningInAHurricane asked:
"What do a lot of parents do that unknowingly screws their children over?"
Because I Said So
"Not taking the time to explain themselves on certain topics."
"The whole 'do as I say because I said so' or 'because I had you' is not effective."
~ LiteLit
"Yes! Rules should always have valid rationales behind them. Ones that you can explain fully."
"'Your room must be clean: building habits and routines makes life way easier and keeping a clean house can help reduce the chance of injury from tripping or pests'."
"Bedtime is 8: sleep is very important for our health. If we dont get enough, we het cranky and dont function as well'."
"Yadda yadda. Adjust for age."
"And you can build in safe phrases for times when your kids need to listen and follow directions without question. These are used like this: 'if I ever grab your arm and say "apples aren't oranges" you need to do as i say because it is a matter of your own safety. Once we are safe, I will explain'."
~ Lostintranslation390
Selective Memory
"Forgetting what it was like to be that age, and expecting their kids to react differently to things than them when they were that age."
~ MunkRubilla
"People are quick to forget what being a teenager is like."
"It's hard on the body physically and mentally just from the hormones, all of their friends are going through the same sh*t, and they're also desperately trying to find their place in the world at the stage in between childhood and adulthood."
~ Cautious_Hold428
Critical Thinking
"Not teach them to think for themselves."
"They need to think independently from other people."
"My favorite thing my parents taught me was to not have a hive mind mentality and think things through before believing and using them."
~ GimmiwCoconut
"I'm 24 and recently visited family for a week.
"It's amazing how my mom immediately started trying to make my choices for me regarding what I do, wear, and eat."
"It's not malicious on her part, it's just a force of habit. But my God is it infuriating."
~ DisposableCharger
Failure Is An Option
"They fail at letting their kids fail and figure out how to recover."
"It prevents the kids from becoming resilient."
~ BS623-902
"This starts when they're little."
"You have to let the 2 year old struggle with the toy or puzzle and not just do it for them when they start to cry and get frustrated."
"It's okay for your kids to cry about being frustrated, you don't need to immediately stop it."
~ lexrp
Inside Voice
"Shouting at them instead of having a conversation."
~ therapoootic
"My husband is incapable of just having a conversation with our 15-year-old son."
"He's always shouting because he doesn't like the way our son looks at him or because he feels he's not being shown respect."
"This all boils down to him projecting his frustrations, as he can't shout at people at the office or on the street."
"So he does it at home. It's annoying."
~ DisastrousGarage9052
Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word
"Not apologize when they’re wrong."
~ Mlaer7351
"I’ve never heard my mum apologise to me ever."
"She’s said many hurtful things to me in the past that I’ve never let go of because she never came to apologise for any of the things she said."
"If she had simply apologised and admitted that what she said was wrong and hurtful, I think that things between us would be so much better."
~ ellie_wxbster
Control
"Might sound a little contradictory but either not disciplining them or disciplining them way too much."
~ RandomRamblings99
"The disciplining too much hits hard."
"I know so many kids with strict parents that became druggies the second they left for college."
"Nobody taught them to have self agency because their independence never existed until they left their homes."
~ Redacted_G1iTcH
"I never had chores to do around the house. I never had a curfew. I was rarely told no."
"I was spoiled to the point where my parents would be willing to pay for my Ubering everywhere because they were too afraid I would get in an accident if I drove a car. I'm 29 and don't have a license and pay for that almost every day."
"Basically grew up like a princess. My mom came to my doctor's appointments and even sometimes made said appointments for me (cause I couldn't make phone calls) until I finally moved out."
"And by that, I mean moved out of the house, country, continent."
"I've been living on my own for over two years now. I'm still alive. They made fun of me, saying I grew up like a princess and because of it, I wouldn't last a day without my family."
"Yes, I'm still very much codependent and talk with them more than anyone else even now—but I proved to myself that I can take care of myself. I'm a different person, and that's the first thing my sibling said to me when we spent some time together recently."
"I'm a full-blown grown-up now. And I'm glad I jumped into it. It was so hard, but I'm getting better at it. Slowly but surely."
~ Ancient_Reply4583
Gimme Shelter
"Over sheltering them."
"You can't protect your kids 24/7 for their whole lives."
"It leads to naive adults that get taken advantage of."
~ Chosen_of_Nerevar
"I think some parents confuse 'trauma' with 'adversity'."
"Trauma can lead to long lasting emotional, social, mental, and physical issues. Consequently, trauma should be avoided at all costs."
"However, adversity can lead to personal growth, perseverance, and confidence building."
"Parents (and society as a whole) need to be able to distinguish one from the other."
~ triton2toro
Parenting is hard work and no one will get everything right all the time.
All anyone can do is try their best.
Anyone who doesn't have children yet will be told by someone how magical and beautiful being a parent is. Some will even argue that a person's life has not begun until they have kids.
But as some parents will point out, life as a parent is not made up of all unicorns and rainbows, and it certainly doesn't always smell like roses.
Redditor Roxane-Rose asked:
"What is the worst part of being a parent?"
The Constant Worry
"The worry that something horrible will happen to them. Sickness, kidnapping, getting lost, etc."
- MelbaToast604
"Which never, ever goes away. Ever."
- marvelous_much
"Honestly, that's all I ever think about. I have four kids (8, 7, 5, and 1.5), and all I want is for them to become good people."
"I let my fianceé know all the time, our kids will be adults longer than they are children, so we gotta make sure we establish manners, morals, and empathy. We also gotta make sure they have fun."
"I love those little monsters, even tho they're a headache sometimes."
- bafeom
Overrun with Illness
"Being sick as an adult f**king sucks. Being sick and having a sick kid, takes it to a whole new level of suck."
- axron12
"Kids have an incredible ability to get really sick during the most inconvenient times."
- jgiffin
"Four years ago before Christmas, my wife got sick and it turned into pneumonia. She was in the hospital for three days."
"Very scary. I guess. I wouldn't know, I had the flu combined with a stomach bug and both of our boys had strep throat. They were 13 and 8 at the time. They took their meds well as I had alarms set. But I was down and out."
"Day two, I went to a clinic that said stomach bug. On day three, my father (I'm 35 at the time) came and took me to the ER and my sister took my kids."
"It was a nightmare. I couldn't visit my wife in the hospital. My kids called my dad cause I was laid out on the floor. Just a f**king nigtmare. Being sick when your kids are sick makes you feel like the most useless parent in the world."
- normaldeadpool
Inconvenient Injuries
"Kids getting injured at the most inconvenient times. My wife and I had the flu this winter and my three-year-old decided she was going to help us feel better at 3:30 AM by making us tea."
"She got out of bed, went to the kitchen, and dropped a glass teapot on the floor, lacerating her feet."
"So I got to have the flu at the hospital while my daughter got stitches."
- pavorus
Staying Safe
"Always having to be extra careful so that you don't cause them to experience the consequences of losing a parent too soon."
"Sometimes I just want to be dumb and impulsive, and having to always be responsible puts a damper on that some days."
- AJSawASquirrel
"I stopped all of my hobbies because of worrying about my kids well being. I used to ride motorcycles and dirt bikes. I used to play in an adult hockey league. I used to love going to see a concert or sporting event and having a few and taking public transport back."
"Not anymore. And not again until they are fully… like 100% capable of living without my support. I’m 42 and my four sons range from 10 to 19. It’s gonna be another 20 years before I get on a bike again."
"I love them, but it sucks."
- Jcholley81
School Safety
"The worry of picking a preschool that has 'enough' security and safety measures in place has wrecked me."
"We toured the school my toddler will go to this fall and the first thing I asked about is security: locked doors, escorting the kids individually into/out of the building, etc."
"It makes me sick to the stomach that I have to worry about that."
- vk2786
Constant Meal Planning
"Figuring out three meals, 8,000 snacks, 1,000 activities, and settling for the fact they won’t like, want, or do any of them."
- BurThe___Down
"The meals and snacks exhaust me. Constantly having to bring snacks everywhere when they are toddlers, and now that they are almost teenagers they are hungry all of the time. It never stops. I'm always at the grocery or planning meals or cooking meals. It's insanity!"
- Feetyoumeet
"I love to cook, but trying to keep a family fed is exhausting. Once I became a mom, I really started to understand why some people hate cooking."
- KatieCashew
Minimal Me-Time
"No or little free time."
- MissingCalifornia-
"I'm an introvert, I really need my me time to recharge."
"And I have a five-month-old baby that needs me at every moment of the day. I can sometimes get away with leaving him alone during the last hour of his afternoon nap (with the baby monitor on, as he's started rolling and it frightens me), but that's it."
"He needs his mama at all times and throws a fit for anyone else. He won't even really eat or sleep when his grandma takes care of him. I foresee his first month of nursery school being very unpleasant."
- ClancyHabbard
"I find myself staying up a lot later than I used to just because of the fact that I've always enjoyed solitude, and these days, I have very little. So once everyone falls asleep I often lose track of time as, 'Just a few minutes,' to myself turns into two hours before I know it."
- Pristine_Interview86
A Child's Persistence
"Relentlessness. Kids don’t stop, they don’t go away, they always need to be fed, and cleaned, and entertained. They are always there, for 21 years+, they are always there. Every single day, every single hour. Kids are always there."
- Rkozlow
"'Raising children is like getting pecked to death by ducks.' I don't know who first said it, but they knew parenting."
"When the kids were young, my wife and I used to quietly say, 'quackquackquack,' to each other when the relentlessness got a little too stressful."
- PaulsRedditUsername
"I call my child 'The Terminator.'"
- Greatbrandino11
"'That kid is out there. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. it doesn't feel pity or remorse or fear, and it absolutely will not stop… EVER, until you are dead!' - Kyle as a parent, probably."
- PaulClarkLoadletter
What Is Sleep, Again?
"Lack of sleep impacts your ability to do everything else so that’s going as number one."
" Number two, for me, is that sometimes, when they’re having a full-on breakdown because they don’t want to get in the bath they have literally every day on the one day you actually have to be somewhere, I look at them and really miss only taking care of me."
"I still love them, do not regret them, and would never ever tell them, but they make things so much harder than it needs to be because they do not give a crap about any priorities other than their own."
"When that happens I do some deep breathing and remind myself that they’re just little kids, of course, they don’t care about making other people wait."
- LastLadyResting
"The sleep deprivation."
"I'm serious, it wrecked me. I was already suffering from postpartum depression, and I was both breastfeeding and dealing with an unhelpful partner. I didn't sleep much until the baby was about a year old."
"Cognitively and emotionally, it destroyed me. I made stupid mistakes at work and as a parent. I didn't trust or like myself, or the baby."
"That's the number one reason he's an only child. I can't handle the lack of sleep."
"He's an amazing, creative, hilarious 15-year-old now; I love him and I love being the mom of a teenager. For one thing, he sleeps through the night."
- insertcaffeine
An Intro to Death and Grief
"Right now, for me... explaining the concept of death to my three-and-a-half-year-old."
"My MIL (Mother-in-Law) is having their senior dog put down this week, and we have to explain, gently, that kiddo is going to go to Grandma's this week and the dog who has been there her whole life will be gone, and Grandma is going to be sad."
"Also the constant worry and anxiety. That s**t eats you alive."
"(But then you look at them and snuggle them and realize you BUILT A PERSON and my god is amazing. It's a love you will never be able to explain.)"
- vk2786
Excess Funds
"Not me, but my best friend told me the thing he hates the most about being a parent is just not having any money for him to spend on his wife."
"Before they had kids, he would surprise her with little gifts every now and again and it would make her so happy. Now he's starting to feel bad now that he can't do that anymore."
- Author_Story_Teller
Disciplining Them
"The guilt when you have to stand up to your kids and discipline them. It's never fun to see them sad."
- AlwaysNipping
The Imperfections
"The worst part of being a parent is realizing that you're never going to be perfect for them. You're only human yourself. You're weak, you're tired, you're fallible, just like them."
"And as such, you'll do/not-do something and you'll blow it out of proportion and crucify yourself, and you forget that you're just still human too."
"And in that moment, in that lapse in judgment, you'll regret yelling at them, you'll wish you played with them a little bit better, you'll regret getting frustrated and impatient, and you'll regret criticizing them. You'll miss them, wherever they are, whoever old they are."
"The worst part of being a parent is that you can't save them from yourself. It's all in the game of life, and every second of it takes effort and thoughtful energy."
"Some days will be better than others. This too, shall pass."
- Rpark888
Trying to Relate to Them
"As a father, when they were too young and I couldn't connect with them."
"When they are sick, need to undergo an operation... even a blood sample or a vaccine, it really breaks my heart to watch that."
"When you think you are doing that parenting thing right, but somehow your kid does the opposite as you expected."
"When your partner and yourself are not on the same page in terms of parenting and it creates conflicts in the couple."
- borsky
All of the Above
"It depends on what you are already lacking in life."
"Don't have a lot of money? Wait until daycare bills add up."
"Don't have a lot of free time or get much sleep? Welcome to being a zombie for a few years."
"Don't have much patience? You will be tested with every fiber of your being to shake your baby when it won't stop crying. You absolutely CANNOT do this by the way. It's better to put it down in a safe spot for a few minutes till you can do a few deep breaths and calm down and come back a bit more level-headed."
"Have a difficult time agreeing with your spouse on plans or values? Get ready for divorce or for eternal resentment."
"Not much of a sex life? Welcome to celibacy."
"My daughter is the light of my life and I have so much joy with her now that she sleeps through the night and has a personality, but being a dad is hard and I occasionally find myself in a panic attack because I'm nervous for what the h**l I'm gonna do in August when the new one is born. We are privileged in many ways but it's still so hard!"
- GMaharris
Parenting can be a beautiful, life-changing experience, but that does not mean that it's perfect, and it's absolutely not for everyone.
Conversations like this are important for people to have before they decide to have kids, so they can make the best decision for themselves and avoid those situations where uninformed people have kids, only to resent their children for the rest of their time together, which likely would lead to going no-contact.
People Confess The Real Reason They Don't Want To Have Kids
There are people who spend their adolescence and early adulthood dreaming of being a parent.
And those people should have every opportunity to achieve that dream for as long as it remains a life goal.
Then there are people who never feel the pull to be a parent.
But society tends to only ask one group "why."
Repeatedly.
While asking any person that question is rude AF—seriously, don't ask people why they don't have/want children—the anonymous realm of AskReddit is a different environment where people can be honest with few repercussions.
So Redditor Ekudar asked:
"What made you not want to have kids?"
So much work...
"To be honest, I'm too lazy to be a parent."
"Plus I'm terrified of the idea of pregnancy and labor."
- _elisheba_
GiphyKnow your limitations...
"When I realised that having a kid would mean that kid would have me as a parent."
- WhyDoIHaveRules
Not ready...
"This lowkey scared tf out of me. Made me imagine myself being responsible for another human being… and all of their life experiences, and providing for all of their needs, and wants?
"Oh my God. No."
"Kids are an amazing treasure, but you have to be mentally, financially, and emotionally sound for them. Because it’s no longer YOUR life. You can’t transfer your bullsh*t onto them—because they’ll end up dealing with that when they’re older."
Giphy"In an ideal world, I’d love to have a kid. But pregnancy/labor scares me, I’m not mentally ready, not financially prepared, I like my alone time, I do NOT have the patience, I’m far too selfish, I can’t cook, and honestly—I love my cat more."
"In my head it seems nice. But that’s not reality. And that’s not fair to a human life. The maternal instinct is there, but my own selfish wants/needs right now outweigh any want for a kid."
- Abandoned_Asylum
Never my dream...
"I never decided to not have kids. Kind of assumes I wanted some then something changed my mind."
"I don't want kids because I never have wanted kids. I've never felt any longing or fondness for babies. No part of having children ever appealed to me."
"I don't feel the need to force myself to have kids despite all the pressure from family and friends, so I made sure I never had any."
- LakotaGrl
Giphy$$$...
"I'm broke and I hate noise."
- quantum_ice
Sssshhhh...
"The sheer fact that I enjoy peace and quiet is enough.
"I love my godson and would die to protect him but I don’t want him living with me (godfather responsibilities aside)."
- HellfireKyuubi
So much to worry about...
"Lack of freedom especially to travel, constantly worrying about someone else/being responsible for them, the state of the world, my own mental health stuff that can be genetic, knowing pregnancy is incredibly dangerous, having 4 friends very recently have their first children and seeing them miserable, the idea of forever being a mom."
"It's all overwhelming.
"Plus I see kids everyday with behavioral and mental health problems. I kinda just don't want to risk that being my kid."
- AmeslJ55
...when people who probably shouldn't have had kids do...
"Ugh. Teaching them to read, acting as a lifeguard any time we were around water, trying to patch their wounds or reassure them school isn’t so scary…"
"My brother is dyslexic and my sister has a learning disability. I taught them both to write their names and would always help them with homework before working on my own."
"I don’t recall my parents being anywhere nearby in 95% of my childhood memories."
"I love kids but the stress of raising kids as a kid has deterred me from ever even considering that sort of responsibility again."
- livelaughween
"My mother's mental illness left the lion's share of supervision and housekeeping to me at the expense of my own education (we also had not nearly enough resources for the number of children)."
"The despair of those years turned me off ever being responsible for a child again. I love my siblings with all my heart, but they nearly broke me."
- PixieDrifter
Not my dream, Part 2...
"Honestly, no idea."
"Just never envisioned a future with children."
- MultipleHipFlasks
...and Part 3.
"The idea of having kids never entered my mind, unless other people brought it up.
"I married a woman who had mostly grown kids, so it was just a couple years of taking care of them and that was it."
"I have grandkids now, and every time they visit, I'm grateful I never had kids of my own. My stepkids are exhausted, broke financially, and always on the go."
"I'm more than happy to sit in my chair, watch movies, play video games, and max chill."
- Jeremy_Smith75
Society pressures people to procreate, but if it's not for you, then you do you.
Just say no to unwanted children.
I've known many people who grew up in happy and stable families. I also know plenty of others who did not have the best upbringing or who don't get along with their parents one bit.
A while back, someone confided in me that they do not feel their parent were meant to have children. This was a lot for this person to take in. What would their parent's life have been like if they had felt comfortable or had been able to make a different choice?
It's a lot to think about — having a child is one of those singular events that can change the trajectory of your entire life.
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor idkwhatoput_111 asked the online community:
"What are your views on having kids?"
"If you want them..."
"If you want them, raise them right. Discipline them, but be kind, don't provoke them to wrath. If you don't want them, that is valid. If you create something in this world, take care of it."
Nomadic_Narwhal
Agreed. Also understand that the world they are going to live in might be very different than the world you grew up in.
"Being firm but still reasonable..."
"Being firm but still reasonable and kind is so important. I'm as anti-authoritarian as ever existed, but if you're a parent you gotta RAISE a human and that's fundamentally different from being their buddy who they give easy love to because you let them do as they please."
Ffleance
You'd be authoritative, then, instead of authoritarian. Significantly better parenting style.
"I have a daughter and a stepson."
"I have a daughter and a stepson. I love them, and I love being a father, but if you don't want kids you shouldn't have them."
MeringueInternal563
Indeed. You should not have a child till you want one, and feel you are ready. They are a lot of work, and expensive.
"More people..."
"More people should ask themselves whether it’s really for them before having them."
CIsForCookie
Indeed. Sex education matters.
"I'm all for..."
"I definitely had friends who swore they weren't having kids just wind up pregnant. Some of them have grown into it and some haven't."
"I'm all for people changing their minds. We grow up. Follow your heart. But be careful it's not just FOMO or boredom or something."
Nonplussed2
Such introspection is definitely valued! More people should think like this.
"This could all be prevented..."
"I feel that if more people actually paused and took a second to ask themselves, “Is this really what I want? Or is it because society/family members expect me to?” there would be a shift in the number of people having kids - for the better. It isn’t good for anyone involved to have kids and then later realize it’s not for them, after the kid is here."
"Those people likely won’t be great parents, and they risk their kid feeling unwanted. That could all be prevented if more people just stopped to think about what they actually want in life, whether or not they are suited to handle the challenges of raising another human being, and cared less about what society or family expects of them."
zzz06
It should be presented as a choice rather than an expectation.
"I had parents that..."
"I am not neurologically suited to the role of being a parent. I had parents that should not have had any kids, let alone 5, so I am firm on this point. I cannot be a good parent, and in my opinion if you can't be a good one you shouldn't be one at all."
TemporaryProduct928
And if you grew up in a home with apathetic parents you don't want to live out that same apathy with your own children.
"Make sure..."
"Make sure you can afford them."
No-Consideration6589
Important point that it's more than just affordability — children can be emotionally taxing and you have to be capable of dealing with that.
"I wish people didn't see it..."
"I wish people didn't see it as "the next step" in life but just as a thing you can do if you have the desire and means to."
itsmyfrigginusername
That, and not seeing it as somehow being selfish when you choose not to have kids.
"Too many people..."
"Make sure you healed your trauma and generational trauma before even thinking about them. Too many people get children to fill an emptiness… turning the child into their own doll/therapist and then get upset when it becomes a person and not a mirror image."
kamalaophelia
Understanding and facing generational trauma is so important. Being able to have the courage to heal yourself can then make having children something you might consider.
As you can see, having kids is not an easy decision — and no easy task. It's always worth doing some soul-searching before you decide to have one, but life is of course much more complicated than that for some.
Have some suggestions of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!
People say parenting is one of the most rewarding things in life. That all of the lack of sleep, constant crying, and stress is worth it when you see your baby smile. And all of that is true, for the most part.
However, being a parent is hard, and it's not always easy to give that unconditional love. Sometimes, you do your best for your kids and they still turn out to be people you can't really reconcile with.
You'll always love your kids, but sometimes it's near impossible to like them.
Redditor eyriesistable asked:
"At what point did you realize you don’t like your own kid?"
Some Reddit Users Talked About Momentary Dislike
These are parents of young, cute toddlers and are mostly joking about disliking their kid.
Laughing At Pain
"My 2 year old just yanked my hair and laughed when I said 'ouch!'. I still love him but he's a little f*cker sometimes."
– Beansinside
The Classic Toddler Offense
"My two year old got sent home from daycare today because he bit three different kids, unprovoked, before noon."
– Brandonjoe
My Pet!
"He stole my cat."
"Only 18 months old the little prick and he's always had a fascination with animals, any time he sees one he points, starts walking towards it going "aaaaaaaww""
"Anyway, me and my cat used to be best buddies but currently my cat is sat in his lap whilst he's stroking him going "aaaaaaaww""
"And it's the same every day"
– IIPESTILENCEII
A Drinking Problem
"I walked in to her room and caught my kid sitting on her bed drinking a Pepsi. She has always known we are a Faygo household. I can look past some things but when you disrespect me in my own house I just don’t know how you get past something like that."
– thebreon
Waiting To Get Her Back
"Every time the lil' f*cker wakes us up before 5 am. Can't wait untill her teenage years, I will be up at dawn every day asking why she isn't getting out of bed and make some of her day instead. Revenge is only 10 years away."
– Redlax
I Know What It Really Means
"My Boomer Uncle and his millennial son have been having the same nasty argument about the word "privilege" for 20 years. Twist. The son is the conservative one."
– Radiant-Elevator
When You Gotta Go...
"When I'm desperate to go to the bathroom and my baby won't stop crying."
– Smiling_Piano
"It'll pass. I promise. But in the meantime, get some headphones. It is okay to let the baby cry for a few minutes."
– RedtubeRepresentativ
Please, Take Them
"I don’t not like them, but I am the current owner/operator of a 15 yr old gay son and a 12 year old hetero daughter and tbh if the fox and the cat from Pinocchio showed up and offered them tickets to Pleasure Island, I’d pack ‘em a bag quick as."
"What a terrible age. Hormones + Opinions + Advanced Height Above Your Parent = every day I’m rolling my eyes and biting my tongue."
"And yes, I feel their sexuality and gender identity come in to this. Until you’ve raised a middle class white male who’s hell bent on telling you, a woman with no education who worked in heavy, male dominated industry in her 20’s, that you HAVE NO IDEA WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE MARGINALISED you have simply not lived! Apparently i have no idea what it’s like to live like these poor kids who’ve lived in the same home since they were born, have parents who give them literally everything they need, and have minimum expectations."
"But I suspect this will pass. It’ll pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass."
– kaytee1023
I Can't See Without My Glasses!
"A toddler smashed my expensive ass glasses don’t have them"
– Alone-_traveler
Others Talked About Issues That May Never Be Resolved
These are parents who don't like their kids' personalities and don't see anything ever changing.
The Laziness
"When he dropped out of Job Corps and has refused to do anything else"
– Mr_Frible
Her Nose Keeps Growing
"When she lied to me at every turn, even for stupid little things when lying wouldn’t make a difference. Sadly, she’s over 40 and still constantly lies to me."
– sashton18267
Protecting Myself
"He started hating on me from an early age. He would literally give me the cold shoulder - monosyllabic responses to me while not looking up from his games, then become open and chatty when anyone else entered the room. I ate it for years - he's just a kid, right?"
"I ended up leaving his dad. He blamed me for everything and called the cops on me after yelling at me over the phone."
"I talked to his brother after the cops left. He was so frustrated on my behalf and only then told me all the low-key things younger brother had done under the radar; he was more mean than I realized; I thought it was only directed at me. My older son was sympathetic and made me feel better. He said his younger brother had a lot of issues."
"I really don't give my younger son an option to call the cops on me again."
– IntheCompanyofOgres
He Changed, Man
"I was best friends with this boy for a long time. We went to the same school since first grade, so our families watched the both of us grow up. He became a complete d*ck sophomore year of high school and so I stopped being friends. In the years since, he’s gotten worse. I wonder if his mom likes him (I do not doubt that she loves him completely). She’s disappointed in him for not going to college, but if she knows half the sh*t he’s done to me and other girls, I wonder how she would answer this question."
– Pleasebenicetome3
A Missing Bond
"For real, I used to have an issue for several years with my three daughters. I didn't feel the parental love that one would expect. I would still protect them from harm and all that but I did not have the emotional connection I thought I would with my kids. I spoke out of concern with my wife about it several times and she suspects that it was how I was raised by an abusive father figure. Nowadays the love is there but I feel that I missed out on too many things when they were growing up. I did not bond when I was supposed to I guess. I never really went out of my way to hold them when they were little. I just pray that I hid that fact well enough from them that they don't find out. I don't want them to think I don't care..."
– BentheWarlock
Some Of Them Want To Use You
"When they became a narcissistic adult-trash talking everyone for attention, me included. They are a user (of people) like I’ve never seen before. I still love them, but do not like them."
– 6moinaleakyboat
0 for 3
"My grandmother had 3 kids and doesn't like any of them. Loves all three but doesn't like them. The first is just an a-hole who used her for money and her house like a hotel. Second... they just don't click, total opposites. Third is a needy lil mooch/hoarder who throws tantrums over stuff like the frosting color on Easter cookies because "that's not how daddy did it when I was little""
– allhailqueenspinoodi
He Is Mean
"He started hating on me from an early age. He would literally give me the cold shoulder - monosyllabic responses to me while not looking up from his games, then become open and chatty when anyone else entered the room. I ate it for years - he's just a kid, right?"
"I ended up leaving his dad. He blamed me for everything and called the cops on me after yelling at me over the phone."
"I talked to his brother after the cops left. He was so frustrated on my behalf and only then told me all the low-key things younger brother had done under the radar; he was more mean than I realized; I thought it was only directed at me. My older son was sympathetic and made me feel better. He said his younger brother had a lot of issues."
"I really don't give my younger son an option to call the cops on me again."
– IntheCompanyofOgres
Lie, Lie, Lie
"I think it's kinda sad how I know that my stepfather (who had his own daughter) wished I was his kid instead of her. To be fair, the girl kept making stories up about what we did to her and she was alienating him from the rest of his family. I think I can even pinpoint the day he realised that this wasn't miscommunication but rather her just lying about everything."
"She ran away from home and after years of fighting it was finally calm. And honestly, screw her, she didn't have to lie to anyone about us, she didn't have to steal from me or my mum to the point that a gift for my birthday was a lock on my door."
"I hope she doesn't screw over whoever is taking care of her now but I doubt it."
– Aggressive_Tear_769
These are some intense stories! Parenting is hard, and the truth is, when it's good, it's good, but when it's bad, it's really bad.