Or at least you would think.
There is always the reckless child who is left unsupervised and "accidentally" destroys a precious tchotchke, or the clumsy friend who spills red wine all over your white couch while mildly tipsy.
And owning a white couch is neither here nor there, so don't ask me why I'm still bitter about that "hypothetical" party foul.
Wondering about the manner in which house guests have made messy exits, Redditor itzzyoboijg asked:
"People of Reddit, what was the worst way a guest left your home?"
Deep Fried Floor
"Had a friend who stayed over after a drunken night out, he decided in the middle of the night that he wanted some potato waffles (fair enough) and he wanted them deep-fried (fair enough), but somehow he managed to knock the fryer off the counter and tip the manky oil all over the kitchen floor. He then left without telling anyone what had happened."
"First I knew of it was when I nearly broke my ankle slipping in the grease the next morning. It took hours to clean and the kitchen smelt like a chipshop until we moved out."
– taversham
Permanent House Guests
"The worst guests are the ones who don't leave."
– dr_timon420
"I have a friend who does this. He's a good friend and understands when you say "i gotta go". But he doesn't know when he should go home. Once he stayed in my place until 12. I was tired af and just wanted to sleep, and kept making hints as to not directly say it. But he didn't take the hint lol
– RicoooSteeZ
Disrespecting Property
"Personally, it was when family members' children broke items in my home. Every time, the children didn't say a word about breaking anything, so my siblings and I would find them after they left. When confronting the children, they usually admit to breaking them, but the parents still denied responsibility and that their child could do no harm."
"It seems minor, but it can get really annoying finding broken toys/glass/objects/etc. in your home, worrying about if it's all of it, and not being able to show sadness/anger when some of the items that were broken had sentimental value to you."
– TraumatizedChild100
The Keurig Cup Incident
"College student here who lives in a pretty nice house with 4 other people."
"One of my roommates would consistently have friends over who would trash the place. Track dirt through the house cause they didn't take their shoes off, would drink and leaves cans and bottles all over the floor, left McDonald's half eaten burgers on the couch. Basically treated the place like a garbage can."
"The final straw for them coming over was hiding my other roommates Keurig cups around the house. They never let us know where they all were so one day we went to heat the oven up not knowing there was one in there and the plastic melted all in the oven."
"The house smelt like sh*t for the rest of the day. They were not allowed over after that."
– royalsunflower
Puke-Soaked Mattress
"Had some people over for a small party, including the new guy at work. All's good, everyone has fun, including new guy who gets behind quite a few drinks and by 1:00 AM is down for the count. No problem, happy to have him stay, we get him moved into the spare bedroom to sleep it off."
Next day I'm up cleaning up and new guy comes out of the bedroom, looking a little rough. I ask him how he is, he mumbles that he's okay but has a headache and needs to leave. Offer him breakfast, he says no, he has some important stuff to do and splits. I glance in the bedroom, see he's kind of made the bed, figure I'll get the sheets off it and wash them later. I get dressed and head out."
"Come back a few hours later and go into the spare bedroom and notice a smell - peel back the covers to see that dude had puked all over the bed, I mean he f'king painted it. Then he just pulled up the covers and left. No f'king responsibility, didn't even tell me, just left my spare bed and mattress to ferment in his raunchy puke."
"Got to work on Monday, told him he's a total f'king a**hole and he owes me for new sheets, in front of the whole department. Made him pay up, then told him not to talk to me again. It pretty much killed his relationship with the whole team, he left a few months later."
– dbradx
"Fast Food Bathroom Blowups"
"Less a voluntary guest and more had a company guy over to look at one of my appliances. He asked if he could use the bathroom and I was a little wary but I'm not a monster who forces techs to drive up the street to the gas station to take a crap so I said go ahead."
"I'm pretty sure after he went back outside to finish working, I could hear the toilet softly weeping from behind the closed door. My guy just completely demolished my porcelain with doodoo. It was early morning, so I guess me being the first appointment of the day meant my bathroom was on the receiving end of some morning coffee stomach distress. It was like one of those fast food bathroom blowups you sometimes walk into when you go there for lunch and have to pee. Just...in my personal bathroom."
"I just kind of...quietly backed out and closed the door. He finished working and after he left I put some gloves and a mask on and solemnly went in to clean up because it's the only bathroom in my house. When I got the bill I kind of wanted to ask if there was a 'toilet destroyer' discount I could get but I didn't want to embarrass anyone."
– beepborpimajorp
Lost Cat
"The worst was a house guest of several days who let our indoor cat outside while we were at work."
"We had told him that the only 'house rule' was never to let the cat out as he's an indoors only cat (has never been outside on his own)."
"This guy actually thought it was somehow 'amusing' that we were so upset over our lost cat. The guest was ushered out immediately, never to be heard from again."
– Back2Bach
Thief
"With my debit card. Seriously just 3 nights ago a friend I had met when I moved to this neighborhood last year took it out of my wallet and left while I was in the bathroom. Thank God for text notifications and the allow card transactions button in my bank's app."
– inoculum38
Unsanitary Store Guest
"Once a motherf'ker didn't wash his f'kin hands after using the bathroom, i sent him to do so but refused to by saying his d!ck was cleaner than most of my stuff, then he went on to touch everything, he went from friend to customer to a customer i charge extra because after he comes i have to deep clean."
– Bndr9803
Old Enough To Know Better
"A friend of a now-ex gf was down on his luck and I decided to throw him a few bones. We wanted to go to renfest and go on a weeklong mead fueled bender, so I asked him to housesit for a week. I paid him cash up front, loaded the fridge with good food, gave him a generous Walmart gift card to help him with his wardrobe (his clothes were in tatters), and even paid to get his acoustic guitar fixed."
"After a week we came back to find the house was strewn with clothes, all of the food in my fridge was untouched and going bad, and he and his buddies had spent the money on hot pockets, soda and video games. barely any of the wrappers, boxes, and cans made it into the trash because he didn't empty the garbage when it filled up. There was a new stench in the house that took a carpet steaming session to get rid of. The dude was in his mid thirties."
– yesitdooms
Cigarettes And Sh*t
"My mom's brother and his wife came to stay with us for a few months when we were kids. It was already shitty that my sister and I got forced out of our room to make way for them, but these motherf****** completely trashed it. After months of sleeping on the couch we come back in and it's almost unfit to inhabit. The walls are stained with nicotine, there's cigarette burns in our mattresses, ash and mummified cat shit was embedded in the carpet! We had to sleep in the living room again for an extra month while our room aired out and it still smelled like cigarettes and shit for the rest of the year."
– SquilliamFancySon95
Damage Done In An Hour
"I have a buddy who takes no responsibility for anything he does. We don't invite places. He is funny and charming but literally insane when it comes to his own fault in things.He came over to my house once with his dog while I was out. I was gone for maybe an hour and I came back and he had accidentally thrown a baseball through my window and his dog chewed up a couch cushion. When I asked if he was going to pay for the window or fix my couch and he said it was my fault for inviting him over and left."
– Pencilowner
Hard To Hate
"A friend of mine brought a new friend over. Who proceeded to run around into rooms he shouldn't have been in. We caught him eating leftovers off the table. He left trash everywhere. And even ripped up my tennis ball. Needless to say he eventually became my best friend and is a good pupper."
– holyguacxxx
Why We Stay Away From Meth
"I Invited a distant friend into my house for a few weeks while they were moving to my state. Instead of finding a place of his own, his tactic was to find a vulnerable woman who would let him move in with her for free. (D*ck & drugs was rent $ in his mind)"
"He started bringing strange women into my home without my knowledge, to have sex. I caught him abusing one of these poor women in a drug rage. Reason: She refused sex after he got her high. I told them both to leave my house and not come back. He decided this was a great moment to tell me that 'his room' was 'his domain.' I disagreed. I threatened to call the cops on them both and they left quickly. His room was disgusting.
"I ended the friendship immediately with no remorse. I casually monitored his social media and watched him breeze through four more unfortunate women. Using them up completely until they upset him. A con man in the truest sense."
"He died a few months after I kicked him out, in a drug influenced auto accident..."
– SqAznPersuasion
