We brace ourselves if we fear the worst, but oftentimes, we end up being comforted by a minor diagnosis.
But all the medical degrees and years of education can't teach doctors to practice empathetic, yet professional, doctor-to-patient interaction on a basic human level.
That has to come naturally.
Curious to hear from patients who have had disappointing or distressing interactions with their physicians, Redditor TheSpasticSheep asked:
"What’s the most out of line thing a doctor has every said to you?"
It's horrifying when even doctors don't have a clue about your condition and, even worse, they gaslight you.
Dismissed Diagnosis
"A gentleman I worked with showed up to work one day looking extremely sick. He was incredibly feverish, had muscle and joint aches, very lethargic and was looking very jaundiced."
"we insisted that he go to the doctor, as he looks like he is on deaths door. He told us that he had been to 2 separate doctors and the ER, letting them know that he has Malaria, and can they please give him some anti malarials. Both doctors and the ER insisted that it 'was impossible to have malaria, as Australia doesn't have malaria,' and that he probably just had the flu, or some other viral infection. And they are correct. We don't have malaria here. But, what they failed to grasp was that this gentleman was an expat who worked in Africa for a number of years, and has had malaria 5 times already. So not only is he an expert in what malaria 'feels' like, but he is also at risk of developing malaria again, even if he hasn't been to Africa in a few years."
"He ended up having to go back to the ER, and basically force them to run a test for Malaria, after which they were like 'oh wow, you do have malaria.' And he was like 'no sh*t, i told you that 2 days ago.'"
– PanzerBiscuit
Not Going Mental
"I had smashed my face on my steering wheel during a bad car accident and was experiencing intense pain. I teared up when he put the scope in my nose and was told I obviously have psychological problems and if I went on medication it might not help my pain, but I wouldn't care as much."
"Finally found a good doctor and surgery removed the chunk of nose bone that was stabbing into a nerve in my face."
– coldbloodedjelydonut
The wrong treatment after a misdiagnosis can be a doctor's serious mistake.
Almost Scalped
"I had a growth on my scalp a few years ago and went to see a skin cancer specialist. Who said it was a malenoma and I was going to need most of my scalp removed. Without even having a biopsy. He starts telling me to prepare myself for this surgery that will disfigure me. I was about 19 at the time with long hair. He started saying ill need to wear a wig and my hair may not grow back and the skin above my eyes will need to be removed."
"I was petrified. Went home in tears and absolutely petrified."
"Then my dad took me to his doctor, who took a biopsy."
"It was just a random skin growth and she cut it off then and there."
"Far out."
– catsandalcohol13
Wrong Medication
"Years ago, one of the sexual health nurses at my work told me she just saw a woman who very clearly had a scabies infestation around her genitals. She said the treatment was simple and that a cream was applied with almost instant relief. She said what upset her about that patient was that almost a year earlier she’d been to a doctor about the infestation, the doctor didn’t even inspect her and just prescribed her antidepressants. I was horrified and still am over 7 years later. So much medical gaslighting."
– syberburns
"Too Young" For Cancer
"Not one, but two doctors to my dad- 'you’re too young to have prostate cancer, no need for a biopsy, it’s just a bladder problem.'”
"He died 15 months later from an aggressive prostate cancer that spread to create tumors all over his body."
– OHManda30
The "Sad" Pill
""While teaching abroad in Vietnam I was struggling with depression. The doc diagnosed me with homesickness and prescribed a box of 160 hydrocodone to take 'when I feel sad.'"
"I was 21 and this was 2007, way before pill use was talked about mainstream. Subsequent boxes were $12 each at a walk up pharmacy, no script needed. I became addicted for 6 years."
"Edit, as I have many people stating that pill use has been discussed forever: I’m talking about the point we got to where most people knew about the dangers of opioids, what the main ones were, the fact that they were being overprescribed etc. Had I heard the word hydrocodone and been exposed to the world and media like I have over the last decade with the spotlight on the opioid crisis, I would never have taken them. That’s the main point I was attempting to make."
– dogislove99
It's even more unsettling when someone you entrust your life to crosses a line.
Assessment Or Pick-Up Line?
"Mental health doctor told my daughter, 'You're too pretty to be depressed.'"
– geeleedickert
A NSFW Observation
"Not a doctor, but a dentist. When I was like 13 or 14 he commented on my lack of gag reflex, telling me that I’m going to be 'very popular with the boys.' It took me a few years to realize what he meant by that."
– goldmarigold
Mom To The Rescue
"I was the opposite. My dentist said, 'If you always gag like that, you're never going to find a good husband!'"
"I didn't understand why my mom yanked me out of the dentist's chair, but I'm proud of her for that. I think I was 6 or 7 years old."
– NeedsMoreTuba
The Gynocologist's Love Advice
"Mentioned that my sex drive was abnormally low to my gyno, and she said my husband just needed to be more forceful when initiating and I’d get into it. Immediately switched doctors and never looked back!"
– SpinningBetweenStars
The Gyno Who Jumped To Conclusions
"Mine was the opposite. Moved and went to a new gyno that several women raved about. I expressed concern over my low sex drive (especially since I was only 25). The next thing I know she is giving speeches and pamphlets and trying to give me info on women’s shelters. I was so confused."
"She just jumped to the conclusion I must be a battered woman. No matter what I said, she was convinced I was being abused. I tried to reassure her no, my husband was definitely NOT the problem and he was actually quite good in bed and extremely attentive to my needs. It was clearly a physical problem."
"Never went back. She even called several times to 'check' on me. I get that some women may need this, but I mean there was literally no red flags, quite the opposite. It was weird."
– Drachenfuer
Going to the doctor's office for any reason can cause a lot of anxiety.
Patients should never have their stresses exacerbated by an unqualified doctor giving them a false analysis or downplaying their concerns.
Hopefully, you're in good hands with a physician who is professional, as well as compassionate.
Our vulnerability leads us to accept what they have to tell us.
But what happens when our expectations about doctors are suddenly turned upside down because of something they said.
Strangers shared their off-putting experiences when Redditor MCKlassik asked:
"What’s the most unprofessional thing a doctor has ever said to you?"
As if these patients hadn't suffered enough anxiety, their heart rates increased following these rude interactions.
Bullied
'Heart surgery is an out-patient procedure.'
"My insurance companies board certified doctor on justifying why no intensive care or recovery would be authorized."
"In the end, at least on paper my unconscious self, with multiple chest drain plugs and on oxygen had to be wheeled out onto the curb, then wheeled into ER and readmitted on account of being in critical condition after heart surgery."
"Blue Cross really upped the ante on bullying me into dying instead of going though the bother of trying to live without bankrupting myself."
– Foxbatt
Evil Descriptor
"Had a bad head injury when I was a kid (12 or 13) and saw a bunch doctors trying to figure out what was wrong. Got a little snippy with one of them over something I don’t even remember. Pulled up the medical record years later and she referred to me as a 'child of the devil' in her report. Had to make some phone calls to get that 'diagnosis' removed from my record."
– DuckSkrol
Nurse Wretched
"Not a doctor but a nurse."
"And it just happened recently."
"I was hospitalized with due to a pretty bad car accident. Unfortunately due to the surgery and general trauma while I could feel the urge to urinate I could get the muscles to relax so I could urinare on my own. For the first day they were just doing in an out catheters whenever I said'"hey I got to piss and I can't please help' it was uncomfortable but I managed till I got to the night nurse."
"Told her at 8:30, hey need help with this, she does a bladder scan says 'not enough urine right now,' 10:30 rolls around and I tell her again and she's like I did the bladder scan you're fine, 12:30 'I did the bladder scan at 10 its not enough urine' so now she lies to me."
"I finally get her to do the catheter at 4 in the morning where she proceeds to take out 1.3 liters of urine out of my bladder"
– jayjude
Abandoned
"It wasn't what was said, but I did have an appointment where the doctor just never showed up. I was in the examination room for about 45 minutes when an MA walked in and asked me what I was doing there. When I said I was waiting for the doctor, 'the doctor already left! We're closing.' Instead of calling the doctor back they made me schedule another appointment. I found a new office instead."
– quafflefalafel
Confidentiality Breach
"Not to me, but about me. I went to see the family doctor over a minor thing. I was an adult at the time, and didn't tell my parents because they freak out about anything medical-related. My mother went to see him a few weeks later and he told her I'd been to see him. I was so angry."
– peon47
Pediatrician's Analysis
"Pediatrician looked at our toddler, standing with a swayback (lordosis) posture, then without considering anything else turned to my wife and said, 'she stands like that because you baby her too much.'"
"That was only our first clue that the doctor was a f'king moron."
– rhesusfecespieces
The Neurologist's Recommendation
"I took my mom to see a neurologist as her PCP suspected she had Parkinson’s. After waiting almost an hour, the neuro came into the room, took a look, told us she had Parkinson’s, then told us to watch some YouTube videos describing what Parkinson’s was, then left the room. The whole encounter was under a minute."
"[Edit This seems to have struck a nerve, so I added some info:"
"Yes, I’m in the US. Bad clinicians can be anywhere, so I don’t think this apathy is due to location. He was also private practice."
"We found a much better neurologist who has been treating Mom."
"Yes, they still charged insurance. Mom is on Medicare, so it didn’t become crippling debt."
"I did not report the doctor because I just didn’t have the bandwidth.]"
– sesamesnapsinhalf
Consultation Fail
"During a consultation told me he refused to consider a surgery on the basis that he has the same condition and can exercise just fine."
"He then proceeded to actually tell me I didn't need to pursue physical wellness as I looked okay, 'Especially compared to the average person from your town, you know?' with a wink. Iike bruh you have me leave work to drive an hour to refuse to help me out and then insult my hometown."
"I disputed the $300 consultation bill on the premise that there was no service given and they dropped it."
– RONINY0JIMBO
These women shared their uncomfortable moments in the examination room.
Unsettling Assessment
'"i went to the doctors' to get my breasts checked (he basically just held and caressed them in a manner he wouldn't have had a chance to feel anything potentially dangerous) and due to them causing me a lot of physical pain i asked him about my options regarding breast reduction surgery. he got visibly angry and told me to never even think about it, and called them 'beautiful and tender.' he was well in his 50s and i was 18-19. i paid like 50 dollars for master roshi to ignore my health issues and make me find another doctor who actually wanted to help people."
– bratsbane
A Little Humor
"Unprofessional, but funny. I had taken my 92 year old mother to a recheck appointment to her PCP."
"An apparently new medical assistant was dutifully getting her history by reading off a checklist. When she asked when Mom's last period was, I looked at Mom a little nervously: she was VERY old school, very dignified and would typically never acknowledge to her sons that she had female parts."
"I saw a rare twinkle in Mom's eyes as she calmly replied, 'well, I can't give you an exact number of months, but I'm pretty sure it was sometime in the late 1960s.' The assistant had the good grace to laugh with us, apologize, then read the next question."
"do you think you might be pregnant?"
– jakobedlam
Some doctors are terrible at trying to make patients feel better.
Doctor Had Questions
"Had a doctor ask me why it took so long to come in for a UTI, I said I just got insurance, haven’t had money, taking care of my kids first. She said rather flippantly 'You some kind of martyr? Did you leave your cross outside?'”
– mmsdiscard
Just Fatigue
"You're not depressed, you don't look sad. You must just be tired!"
"Here, take these sleeping pills, but don't take them all at once!"
– Nicxll
Not Onboard The Fitness Journey
"I had a doctor comment on how I’ve lost weight (fine, I get that), but when I told him I started going to a gym he told me not to try to build muscle because it will just turn to fat someday anyway 😳"
– FkMyWorkLife
Too Much Faith
"I was looking for a surgeon for my gallstone operation and he asked what meds I was on. I mentioned my antidepressants and he started saying I didn't need to take them I just needed to pray. I was pissed and replied 'I guess I'll just pray my gallstones away too then.' Needless to say, I went with a different surgeon."
– maggyta10
Imagined Pain
"When I was 21 I dislocated my shoulder and it continued to hurt for weeks. Went to a specialist, he suggested the pain was all in my head! After an MRI he realized I had a SLAP tear in my shoulder, so I said, looks like it's not all in my head, and he looked at me with such contempt, I never went back to that a**hole."
– feral_philosopher
Lacking Faith
"My mum had some symptoms that resulted in a scan of her brain. It sort of looked like she might have a tumor or water on the brain or something."
"When giving her the results the doctor said, 'Maybe this is God's way of saying it's time.'"
"My Mum, who was in her 50s at the time, went absolutely off on them - God has nothing to do with this etc."
"Turns out she was fine. Symptoms were related to something else, and the ambiguous scan results could have been machine or human error."
– queenirv
Unfounded Claim
"Grown ups can't be autistic."
– LannisterZ94
"What did they think happens when autistic children grow up??"
– imawriterokay
While everyone has varying levels of rapport with a primary care provider, the last thing a patient needs to hear is that they're overreacting when they're genuinely concerned about their health.
A little care in the care profession could go a long way.
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