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Veterans Reveal The First Thing They Did When They Came Home From War.

Around the world people sacrifice their own safety so that the citizens of their home country can feel safe and secure. We owe a huge debt to the military personnel who defend freedoms and keep the peace in times of torment and strife. I can't imagine what it must be like to live and work in war-torn countries for years at a time without seeing your own family and having that reminder of what you're actually fighting for.

Veterans on Reddit were asked: "What was the first thing you did when you got home?" These are some of the best answers.



I drank enough alcohol to work up the nerve to call the Soldier's Angel who had been writing me letters and sending me care packages to tell her I had fallen in love with her. Three years later we were married. Some days I'm all but sure I died in the war and this is my blessed afterlife.

ArrowInTheMyst

One thing I do remember more than anything is that first shower I took when I got back to the Barracks in Germany. It was almost surreal, like a dream.. I couldn't believe the fact that I actually survived all that and I was getting out in 3 months after a 4 year stint. Never felt better in my entire life. Finally seeing all my loved ones again after not knowing if you would ever get another chance to. 

My little brother was over in Afghanistan while I was doing my second tour in Iraq. I got back before he did and ETS'd, had the opportunity to greet him and his unit at his base when they finally touched down. It was really emotional, I was crying. Partly because I was happy my lil bro made it back in one piece. The other part was thinking about all my boys that didn't make it back and the pain their families must feel not getting the opportunity to experience what we were experiencing at that very moment. You lose friends that live and die with you, the bond is so close that you feel like they are your brothers, your family. Nothing good comes of war.. except when it ends.

ramadisapper

1st tour: When I got home I made love to my girlfriend at the time and I tried to make sense of what just happened. I would just look at cars and building a lot.

2nd tour: I was pretty shaken up afterwards, I went back to my barracks. I have no family, ate in the club and took a shower and I volunteered for fast turn around. I was back in the field before the end of the year. I remember ordering a burger and a beer, the burger was cold and I went home and stayed in bed for 3 days.

3rd tour: I decided to take a trip to New York, I saw a Broadway show and just walked about enjoying my freedom.

4th tour: Well I got home and I had just been through my worst tour, it was awful ,terrible. I had pretty bad shakes and I cried in a shower, sat on the floor for what seems like an hour. I quit for a while.

5th tour: I asked my CO for a fast redeploy. It was refused. I haven't done anything as of yet. I'm still in my barracks and I don't want to take my leave. I think my field days are pretty much over, sad to think that. My next job will be behind a desk.

I'm 33 next week, I have no family or a SO. This job is all I am and all I have.

Wellies

Drove. You have no idea how good it feels being in charge of something like that after months and months of having to walk everywhere. You want to go left? You turn the wheel and you go left. You want to speed up or slow down? It's all up to you dude, no one else is in charge. It's a powerful feeling, especially if you've only been allowed to go 30 mph tops for half a year.

batholith

The first time I returned from a combat tour in Afghanistan I was married. We had an absolute ton of sex the next few days in a hotel near the airport, starting about 30 minutes after the plane landed. 

The second time I returned I was single, and an officer and I went to the base minimart (we were the ADVON and only people from our unit that returned early) and we stood there in shock for about 40 minutes not sure what we each wanted. I bought Nutter Butters and he bought raisens, and we wound up sharing. When I returned home, I was basically homeless and staying with my cousins, so we had some friends over and drank. 

The third time will be happening in 89 days, and all I want is a hamburger.

Want_Bourbon

My buddy picked me up and took me to his house to get my Mustang and my stuff. I had ordered some new cylinder heads, camshaft, intake, and a Procharger supercharger kit for it and I was excited to put it all together soon after.

It was already assembled, dyno tuned, and ready to drive. I drove the crap out of it for 3 days and then went home for 2 weeks on leave.

[deleted]

Fixed myself three PB&J on fresh, soft white bread. Washed it down with ice cold milk. It was the simple pleasures like fresh soft bread, hot showers, being able to relax after a shower not having to rush to get dressed. These are the things I missed the most.

edallen

Actually, my wife and I made a tradition out of me coming home (4 deployments in total.) She would pick me up at the flight line with a wonderful picnic lunch packed in her grandmothers old wicker basket. She always wore the yellow sundress that I loved, no matter the time of year. We would drive out to a farm near our house, lay out our blanket and picnic basket, and drink a beer.

riveredboat

I was lucky. As a former spook I was stationed shore and only sent out for very short periods of time (most awesome experience of my life was landing on and being launch from a carrier as a passenger).

But, when I was in temp waiting for discharge my wife and our dog went back home three months ahead of me.

Our dog is only about 30lbs, a little sight-hound. She is also extremely passive/quiet -- we've never once even kept a leash on her because she doesn't stray far from either of us, and she never jumps on anyone.

When I pulled up into the driveway and got out of the car, the front door to the house cracked open and out she darted. My wife shouting, calling her back because she'd never "taken off" like that before. There's this little brown blur moving towards me, and then suddenly I'm on my back getting my face licked. My mother in law said she'd never seen the look of love so much in an animal's eyes before. My little princess is now 9 years old, and ever since she has traveled with me wherever I go if it's longer than two days.

toodamnparanoid

Walked down to the shoppette in my PTs and, after overcoming the shock of remembering stateside cigarette prices (Iraqi cigarettes are $1 a pack), bought a 6-pack of Steel Reserve tall boys. I drink like a lumberjack, but after nine months of no booze - period, my tolerance had completely vanished, and I couldn't even finish two. I was so messed up I couldn't even climb into my top bunk so I curled up on a pile of dirty laundry and passed out.

[deleted]

As a single, introverted dude in the Navy, the ONLY thing I wanted to do was to do something ALONE. The stress of constant human contact after more than 13 months underway almost drove me up the wall. So I went to a coffee shop, read a book, hit the beach and stared off into space. BY MYSELF. It was grand. Nobody asking how I was, for me to tell cool stories, or what I wanted to do constantly.

No family waiting on the pier, but that didn't bother me. We had a mini-reunion with Mom, Dad, Sis a couple weeks later and it was great.

Squid_Out_Of_Water

Took a shower and sat on a keg my wife had gotten me. It was a pony keg of Coors Light. I'll always remember that day: sat on it in the shower until the water got cold while she sat on the toilet and talked to me. I drank, we laughed, she cried and I did too. Best day of my life with my wife. I love her.

takindown

The first thing I did when I got back home from a tour in Iraq? Ride the northbound bus to my sisters house in Seattle. Get in a bus accident, have to administer aid to 3 young women who decided to turn in front of the bus. 

UNseleCT

I drank a beer while in the hottest shower of my life. Once I'd finished that beer, I had another, and another.

IM_PROFESSIONAL

After twelve months of combat patrols on the Afghani-Pakistani border, it was time for our unit to finally redeploy back home to Alaska. It was early August and the we knew the temperatures would be beautiful with highs about 70, but it was just as likely to be raining as sunny. A beautiful summer day would be icing on the cake, but honestly it was the least of our wishes at that point.

A few hundred of us boarded the first plane on the final leg of our journey from Kyrgyzstan to Anchorage. It was a commercial jet from 'World Airlines.' I was a 1LT at the time and sat in the front 1/4 of the plane with the other officers in the battalion. The enlisted guys were behind us in coach. (May I digress for just a moment by saying that I happily realize the injustice of that arrangement. My life is forever owed to the greatest men and women I've ever met, our nation's NCO's.)

As we neared Anchorage, we flew over Denali and it was utterly and perfectly clear. I have never seen Denali in such crystal clear visibility. I realized that we were flying into a perfect Alaskan summer day. I knew that I was about to have the greatest moment of my life: Kissing my girlfriend who would be waiting with other family members on the tarmac of Elmendorf Air Force Base, with the beautiful mountains all around us and the beautiful clean smelling air. (Clean smelling air was at a premium in Khost, Afghanistan.) My feeling of anticipation was so great that all of my senses seemed to be utterly on edge. Life felt more than real.

Well, what ended up being the happiest moment of my life happened to come just about 10 minutes prior to that kiss. As the landing gear on the plane dropped and we were about to land, a strange quiet came over the hundreds of soldiers in that plane. One last moment of anticipation. One last chance for everything to go wrong, as it almost always had in the previous twelve months. One last moment of attention and mindfulness.

But nothing went wrong. We touched down smoothly. And as those rear wheels made contact with the runway, the hundreds of enlisted men sitting behind us erupted into wild, joyous, unabashed cheers and applause. Their joy was like none other I have ever heard in my life. There was no filter. I heard and experienced something so utterly pure at that moment -- an unintended gift from my soldiers that I will never forget and can never thank them for enough.

I'll admit the kiss from the girlfriend that followed not long after was pretty great as well.

sheabd01

Oddly enough I came home form Iraq (the first time) 8 years ago yesterday so the memory was on my mind. 

My dad came out to Hawaii. He came to hangout with me. He had rented two rooms in this bed-breakfast style place. We got in the rented car and he had a six pack on ice waiting at the house. My dad is a Vietnam Vet so we talked. We talked and talked about everything that happened on the deployment (early 2004 to early 2005). That short conversation actually lasted about 6 hours. I drank about three beers and was really loopy. 

Still in my BDU's the sun was coming up, I changed and we went out to breakfast. I didn't have a girlfriend, or a wife, I would have felt all alone in the world but he thought it was important to come out and see me. Just my dad and I and a few cold beers. From then on we've been awesome friends as well as father and son, maybe I finally earned the old man's respect.

john_stamos_is_god

Came home from 7 months in the combat zone, spent time with my family, slept in my own bed, and then worried, heart wrenchingly worried about my friends that were still there. Wished that I was back to do everything I could ever do to protect them. When I was there I never wished for anything to be home, once I was there I wished for nothing more than to be back in hell with them.

harveypants

My girlfriend flew down from Seattle (to Palm Springs) and we stayed the night at the on-base motel. The next day I said my goodbyes to a few friends (who were all waiting to EAS as well) and went to the admin center to pick up my DD214.

We did the whole road trip thing on the way back, hitting San Francisco, then we went to Oregon City to visit my roommate and best friend from the marines, and then back home to washington. We took the 101 instead of I5 which I highly recommend if you like pretty scenery.

When we were about to get home she told me that we were going to go see a couple of her friends at a little bar down the road from us. I said okay.

We got home and unpacked my car a bit, she had some of her friends decorate the apartment with balloons and streamers. So we leave for the bar to meet her two friends, I walk in and theres 20 or so of my friends yelling 'Surprise!'. Apparently my girlfriend had orchestrated the whole thing a month earlier with a private Facebook group. Even my buddy from Oregon City was there, he had driven up before we left in the morning and hung out at the bar for like 5 hours.

Anyways, the bar named a $2 specialty shot after me which for the whole bar was able to get all night. I got really drunk, took two puffs from a joint outside the bar and proceeded to pass out in a lawn chair until my girlfriend took me home in a taxi.

Then she made me steak for breakfast.

murderfack

I returned home from both my deployments(Baghdad 03-04,04-05) in the middle of the night. The first time, we had a buddy waiting for us. We grabbed some food and beer. Drank about three and passed out.

The second time I came home as Advance Party (Barracks NCO) and my Smoke's wife met me at the homecoming (which was about twenty exhausted guys at 0300 in a half-empty gym where six band members played the Anthem for us) with a sixer of beer. I wasn't allowed into my barracks because they were still secured and I needed orders to break the seal on the doors even though I was the damned barracks NCO, so I caught a ride home with another guy and crashed on his couch. He told me to make myself at home, so I dropped my bags, took a shower, and sat on his couch drinking in my towel until the sun came up. I was single, but I didn't allow my family to come see me off or see me home because I knew my folks were struggling with cash at the time. The last thing they needed was to spend money on taking a trip to NC from IA.

The most emotional part of both homecomings was calling home. I woke my parents up both times, and each time I was barely able to choke out, "Mom, I'm home. I'm home." It's hard tell them that everything's OK when it wasn't. My homecoming trip took over two years and nearly my life until I was able to get my emotions to come home, too.

krapdaddy

I walked my sister down the aisle. She delayed her wedding until I got home so I could be there.

Bullshthrowawaynam

I drove cross country from California to Ohio with another Marine who just got out. It was one awesome road trip. When I walked into my parents house (who I haven't seen in almost 2 years) my Mom said "Oh good you're here. Can you pick your brother up at school?"

[deleted]

I stopped at store and picked up bath bubbles, bath salts (not the drug) and a new towel. I went home opened up the bottle of mead that I bought in Ireland and enjoyed about an hour long bath while while drinking my mead. After that I went out and rented a black and pink tuxedo and crashed one of my friend's casual parties.

adaytoocala

Source

Some of this material has been edited for clarity.

Infamous Internet Rumors That Ended Up Being True

Reddit user strakerak asked: 'What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?'

boy playing at laptop inside room
Photo by Ludovic Toinel on Unsplash

In 2017, I returned to my office after my lunch break to hear my supervisors discussing Tom Petty. This seemed like a random topic to me until one of my supervisors told me Tom Petty had passed away. He was a huge fan of Petty and spent the next hour or so combing through the internet to get more information.

He came back into the room my other supervisor and I were working in and announced that Tom Petty wasn't dead after all. News outlets had jumped the gun to announce his death, but he was actually still alive.

The next day, I came in to find out that Tom Petty was dead; the news may have been premature, but true.

This is a classic example of the rumor being started on the internet. Sometimes, like with the news of Tom Petty's death, the rumor can run wild and appear everywhere. Other times, the rumor can be seen by just a few people and dismissed. However, a lot of times, these rumors turn out to be true.

Redditors know a lot of internet rumors that turned out to be true, and are eager to share.

It all started when Redditor strakerak asked:

"What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?"

The King Of Pop

"Michael Jackson writing the music for Sonic 3."

"He actually did, but was never credited on the game because it would breach his contract with his record label."

– -WigglyLine-

"He did the same when he appeared on The Simpsons. He appeared under a pseudonym, and the Producers said it was an impersonator."

"Only years later they confirmed it really was Michael."

"His singing voice was actually done by an impersonator, though."

– given2fly_

The Truth Comes Out

"In 1998, US Men’s National Team captain John Harkes was shockingly cut from the team right before the World Cup. The coach claimed it was because Harkes wouldn’t fit into his new preferred formation, but rumors flew on the early internet that it was actually because he had slept with his teammate Eric Wynalda’s wife. The rumor was so well-known in soccer circles that Harkes expressly denied it in his autobiography the next year."

"Fast forward 12 years to 2010 and Wynalda admits it’s true. The coach then came out and admitted it was why he dropped Harkes, but that he’d planned to keep the secret as long as Wynalda did."

– guyfromsoccer

Video Evidence

"The Tim Burton Hansel and Gretel that aired once on halloween in the 80's."

"I heard for years that it was fake but I knew it was real because my dad recorded everything in the 80s and he recorded that. We let a good friend of ours borrow it and switch it over from VHS to DVD and soon after that it made its way on to the internet , and there it is now. I know it's our copy because the tracking in the beginning is screwed up. Still have the VHS."

– Frozenthickness

"There was a similar story with a Nickelodeon movie called Cry Baby Lane. It was supposed to be so scary that Nickelodeon got complaints and denied its existence for years. Someone uploaded a taped copy to youtube about a decade ago."

– PattiAllen

The Movie Business

"That North Korea hacked Sony Pictures because of The Interview movie."

"I worked in the movie business at the time and the account managers at Sony all basically needed to get new identities as all of their personal information got leaked online."

OldMastodon5363

"My partner worked on that movie and the production bought all the crew 1 year of an identity theft tracking service."

CMV_Viremia

Keep Away From The Ears Of Kids

"Some banned episodes or scenes of cartoons."

"For example, I remember there was a Dexter’s Lab cartoon where he clones evil versions of DeDe and himself and they swear like every other word (censored of course), and people debated whether it even existed cause they only aired it like once. Now it’s pretty accessible online."

– Spledidlife

Yes, It's True

"Echelon, a massive electronic espionage system by the US and allies to intercept all electronic messages, especially emails."

"In the mid-nineties it was a topic on conspiracy BBS boards. A lot of people in my bubble at the time (mainly uni students in Europe) were including fake threats to the US in the their email signatures as a way to "protest" and "fill the system with false alarms" (obviously useless)."

"Then, in 1999-2000 came out to be true and a lot of security service agencies from UK and other US allies started to admit they were part of the espionage network."

– latflickr

How The Mighty Fell

"John Edward’s love child."

– ACam574

"A reminder that he was cheating on his wife while she was hospitalized for cancer treatment."

– Fanclock314

Ugh...

"Carrie Fisher's heart attack. Some a**hole who was on the same flight was livetweeting the whole medical emergency and justified it by insisting she was just making sure the family was informed."

– everylastlight

It Actually Happened

"Every year around her birthday there was a rumor that Betty White died. When I heard she died, I scoffed, saying that dumb rumor is back.... then saw it on the news. I was in shock."

– Known-Committee8679

"The fact that Betty died literally right before she turned 100 is such a Betty White way to go out."

– Paganigsegg

Big Actor, Small Roles

"I distinctly remember some rumors about the reason why Bruce Willis was taking so many roles in sh*tty movies before it was announced he has dementia."

– KampferMann

"RedLetterMedia did a deep dive on his recent movie activity to try and work out why exactly he was taking part in basically scam-movies. They noticed he had an earpiece in one of the scenes and joked that the director was feeding him lines. I remember they even disclaimed over the rumours at the time, and possible made a follow-up vid when it was revealed to the public."

– CardinalCreepia

What To Do Next?

"That the writer of LOST were making it up as they went."

"Turned out to be absolutely true."

– homarjr

That last one was kind of obvious!

Do you have any to add? Let us know in the comment below.

Person holding large stack of books
Photo by Jay Lamm on Unsplash

Whether you're naturally interested in fun facts and trivia or not, it's always nice to know a few that you can pull out of your pocket at a moment's notice as a nice conversation starter.

But there are some fun facts out there that are so weird, people become more preoccupied with how the teller found out that information rather than the information itself.

Redditor Dry_Bus_935 asked:

"What is your 'don't ask me how I know' random fact?"

Nuclear Fail Safe

"You have quite a lot of time, certainly more than ten seconds, to turn back on the main pumps of a nuclear reactor once you have accidentally turned them off."

- egorf

"I'm not surprised. The amount of fail safes, redundancies, and emergency scenario planning for nuclear power plants is insane."

"I toured a nuclear plant and wrote my high school senior thesis on the plans put in place to ensure the Fukushima disaster would not happen at that plant."

"I'm sure the secondary pumps are plenty capable of handling the reactor until the main pumps are repaired or just turned back on."

- Borderlandsman

Happy Cat

"If your cat chews on fresh eucalyptus, they might start hallucinating and fall over repeatedly, leading to a $400 emergency vet bill just to be told she’s just kinda high."

- oddidealstronghold

"And, that's part of why koalas love it. Little stoners."

- littlebluefoxy

Archaeology: Do Not Lick

"Old human bones are very porous, so if you lick them, they’ll stick to your tongue."

- clanculcarius

Sharing is Caring

"A pigeon will only eat a Starburst if you chew it up a little bit first. Just to clarify: chew the Starburst, not the pigeon."

- OhTheHueManatee

"Instructions unclear. Pigeon unhappy."

- Wild-Lychee-3312

Intriguing Anatomy

"Everyone is here with the creepy crime stuff, and I'm just like, 'A soft fur rat has 22 nipples.'"

- horroscoblue

"Okay, so either they have really small nipples, their nipples overlap, or they have nipples in places where there shouldn't be nipples."

"(I've never written the word 'nipples' so many times in a singular sentence before.)"

- GdeGraaf

'Don't Ask Me,' Indeed!

"Turmeric can be used as clothes dye. It is capable of permanently dyeing cotton cloth even after it has passed through the digestive tract of an adult male."

- SlefeMcDichael

"You s**t your pants, didn't you?"

- PMmecrossstitch

"I'd prefer not to answer that question."

- SlefeMcDichael

High-Risk Survival Skills

"If you ever trying to survive in the Arctic, don’t eat polar bear liver. It is so high in vitamin A, it will kill you."

- WrongWayCorrigan-361

"It's also surrounded by a lethal amount of angry polar bear."

- horanc2

Real-Life Spies

"TV shows and movies go out of their way to make military/intelligence officers look bada**."

"But real-life 'spies,' by design and training, are boring. They have regular houses and standard second-hand cars, they dress down, and they have vague, boring job titles (accounts receivable) as cover, and they do not draw attention to themselves. Most come from specialized academia."

- Ok_Worth_1093

Haunting Reality

"Your muscles can keep twitching for several hours after you die."

- JustDave62

"Also, beards can appear to grow. This is however not because the beard itself grows but because the skin shrinks."

- RRautamaa

"I worked at a morgue for over eight years. If you grasp the hand of a dead body to move the arm, the hand will grasp back, but that's just muscles and tendons reacting to the tension."

- goneferalinid

The Sneakiness of Drowning

"When a drowning victim is revived, get them to a hospital as soon as possible. Drowning is the leading cause of death of kids from the age of one to seven and is ruled as accidental drowning when it comes to secondary drowning or dry drowning."

"Basically, your lungs are full of water despite being revived. Your lungs will absorb the liquid, but not before your body acidifies from high levels of carbon dioxide. The only chance to survive is to have the lungs pumped with oxygen via CPAP machine and time."

"Also, drowning is extremely quiet. You don’t hear the victim go under. And if you see flailing, do not attempt to save the victim otherwise you’ll become another drowning victim. Throw them a lifeline and hope their amygdala realizes that a rope or something is floating near them and grabs on it."

- Dfiggsmeister

Not Everyone's Favorite Chocolate

"Hershey’s chocolate has the strong smell of vomit or feces to some people (me), and that’s because they use butyric acid as a preservative. Butyric acid is the compound that makes vomit smell so bad."

"Edit: Digging further into it, there are some claims that they may not be “adding” the butyric acid, but rather it is occurring from essentially spoiling the milk in their milk chocolate. Either way, the butyric acid and putrid smell remains a part of their product."

- hefewiseman1

"That explains the weird aftertaste I always get! I don’t smell it but their chocolate always has this super unpleasant sharp/acidic aftertaste that I find repulsive. I assume this is why!!"

- PomegranateNo975

Do Not Lick the Asbestos

"Asbestos tastes like chalk. And if you lick it, it has the texture of extremely gritty sandpaper. Which is actually the feeling of microscopic asbestos needles piercing your flesh!"

- TooYoungToBeThisOld1

Mapping Out the War

"Beginning in 1911 in anticipation of the outbreak of WW1 in 1914, two statesmen, one from England and one from France, began visiting locations in France that they believed would be the settings for a number of major battles that would occur during the great war."

"Long bike rides through these future battle zones in the countryside and weeks spent building a foundation for a French-Anglo codebook that would later prove important in helping win the war."

- fjordperfect123

Avoiding Lawsuits > Protecting Patients

"Doctors, or surgeons more specifically, that make too many mistakes during surgery, ie, leaving instruments in patients, frequently gets ‘quietly traded’ to other hospitals where they continue their path of destruction with the patients not being aware of their past record. Hospitals tend to keep quiet about the matter to avoid lawsuits."

- Kittytigris

Bonus Points: Do This While Having Lunch in Your Car

"If you overfill a fast food gravy cup and then put a lid on, it will create a pressurized gravy stream that sprays all over your face and uniform while your coworker looks on in horror."

- thechaosjester776

This subReddit thread was so a roller-coaster of random facts, we've surely all walked away learning something.

But the biggest takeaway might just be: Maybe don't lick so many things.

Shocked woman covering her mouth
vaitheeswaran Nataraj/Unsplash

When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.

But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.

Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.

It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.

Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:

"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"

These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.

Bleeding Out

"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."

"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."

– DongLaiCha

Tragic News

"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."

– accountnameredacted

Bottom Of The Barrel

"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."

– Crotch-Monster

A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.

Like Father, Like Son

"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."

– psycospaz

Busted

"Flashing blue lights."

– FiddleOfGold

"This sobered me up just thinking about it."

– redmaple_syrup

Losing Sight

"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."

– MissHibernia

Quitting The Bottle

"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."

– omgtater

These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.

Unplanned House Guests

"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."

– Oneinsevenbillion75

Serious Health Warning

"Elevated liver enzymes."

"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."

"So I opted for recovery, instead."

"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."

– Far_Meal8674

The Joyride

"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."

– foxfood9116

The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?

How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.

But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.

Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.

Woman holding multiple shopping bags
Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.

Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.

These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.

From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.

Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:

"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"

"Tale As Old As Time..."

"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","

"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."

"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."

"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."

"Lol!"

"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom

"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."

"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."

"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."

"I think he was a germaphobe."

"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."

"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."

"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.

"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."

"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."

"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000

Money Burn GIF by nog Giphy

Who Wore It Better?

"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."

"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."

"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."

"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'

"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"

"No."- mertsey627

Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...

"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."

"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."

"It was very low key."

"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."

"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."

"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."

"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."

"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa

south park wedding GIF Giphy

See You In Court!

"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."

'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."

"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."

"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."

"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."

"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin

It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!

"I work in a public library."

"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."

"A popular book that just came out."

"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."

"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten

A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!

"My own."

"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"

"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."

"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"

"Unacceptable!"

"This shall not stand!"

"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."

"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."

"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."

"I got over it."- DeathGrover

homer simpson episode 23 GIF Giphy

Holy Matrimony!

"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."

"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."

"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."

"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."

"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."

"It's just a party."

"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree

When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...

"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore

In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...

"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."

"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."

"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."

"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."

"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."

"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."

"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."

"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."

"We don’t offer wrapping services."

"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."

'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae

Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso Giphy

Happiest Place On Earth!

"I used to work for Disney."

"That in itself should tell you everything."

"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."

"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."

"Suddenly got worse huh?"

"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."

"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."

"I'm not kidding."

"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."

"My wife worked booking."

"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."

"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."

"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."

"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."

"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."

"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong

Disney World GIF Giphy

The horror!

Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!

It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...

Said absolutely no one.