"Well how else am I supposed to buy myself a trip to Mars?"
1. Work in wealth management, had a client request a 'loan' from her trust fund. She was attending college and flunking out, she wanted to BUY the private school and fire all the teachers who were 'plotting against her'. Sadly that request was denied.
2. A long time ago I had a temp job in the credit dept of a catalog ordering company. This was prior to omnipresent online credit card use, so large orders phoned in from the catalog were treated as loans. We would pull a credit report and assess the situation.
One guy's order tripped the limits and he was sent my way. Hmm he wants to order ... 2000 window air conditioners? That's very expensive, and seemed odd because if you are a home developer or a retail store and need a lot of inventory, you buy bulk. My catalog company sold to the public.
So I start digging and he lives in Georgia. I looked it up on a map, middle of nowhere. His address is something something trailer court. OK. Also not good.
Bankruptcy declared ... yesterday! lol and the history gets worse as you go back.
So I kill his order and send him the standard letter, and think nothing of it. Until a few months go by. The letter I sent him instructs to call with questions, which is silly, because I can't give out any info on the phone, anyway. Regardless, he calls. I answer the phone. He starts screaming. He starts by screaming. I don't know who he is or what he wants yet. But this is par for the course.
I get him simmered down and am talking to him about why he can't order 2000 air conditioners, without really saying why. He's acting all indignant as if he doesn't have no job and doesn't live in a mobile home and didn't just declare bankruptcy, and wasn't trying to sneak in one more order before the paperwork is filed (he wouldn't have to pay back the "loan" for 2000 air conditioners).
So he gets mopey and says, "aw durn. I was hoping to cool off mah yurd. muggy down here. and hot as a anything."
His plan was to plug in 2000 air conditioners and air condition the outside.
3. Once had a guy try to get a loan to start his business of home pharmaceutical sales.
But here's the kicker: he had (Continued)
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But here's the kicker: he had two previous convictions for hard drugs.
At that point it's like he's not even trying to be clever.
4. Kind of an anti-loan but customer comes in saying they wanted to discuss their car loan.
In reality, once we started discussing the customer tossed the keys and said "It's yours, now stop calling" and left.
5. Oh where to start. Had one customer who wanted to borrow funds to start a theme park based Around tents, no where near other people, with projections that between 600,000 -800,000 people would attend per year. Another customer wanted a loan using his ex wife's house as collateral / on the basis that he had paid for it so it was really his money anyway.
Third customer wanting to borrow funds to start a snow manufacturing and delivery business for Christmas (in rural Australia, where Christmas is held in summer and is rarely under 30 Celsius) Fourth customer wanting to buy a Range Rover while on Centrelink (state welfare) with a non-payment period because she "could use the car to meet someone who could pay for It"
The list goes on.
6. I worked at a call center for credit union. I would tell people balances, take loan applications, etc. So, an elderly man would spend hundreds of dollars a week at a liquor store spending everything in his account. He would call up, obviously drunk, wanting his account balance and wanting to know why his debit card was declined. Well, he spent all his money at the liquor store. So, he would ask for a loan for more money (probably to buy more alcohol.) Because of the law or whatever, we were not allowed to decline him for applying for a loan. So, we had to fill out a loan application, just for him to be not be approved for it obviously. He would apply for loans once, even twice a month. Never approved. I honestly think he was drunk all the time and never remembered applying for loans.
Finally, after, I think a year of this, this issue eventually made it's way up to the head people of the credit union and they decided they would have him come in...with a family member, and discuss his account. I think they had an intervention with him and made a family member present just in case this guy was suffering from dementia and needed family to take over his financials from him (a la power of attorney, etc.) From what I hear, it went good. I never heard of him applying for a loan again, to my knowledge. If he did ever call in again, he was suppose to be sent to a manager for another discussion over the phone.
Not really an absurd reason as it is a sad one.
7. I had three guys come in asking for a loan to buy gasoline. They wanted to buy a ton of gas, store it and resell it after the price went up. They had charts with girls in bikinis on it, and I think they (Continued)
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thought they'd be speaking with a man. It got real weird after that but none the less, I declined their loan request to buy gasoline.
8. I had a young male non-client come set up an appointment for a business loan with a teller. The scheduler notes alluded to an engineering firm so I assumed he was a recent graduate looking for startup capital, generally these loans aren't crazy as they're only looking for 10-20M(thousand) to get things rolling. Boy was I wrong. This kid came in probably no more than 20, slicked back hair, full three piece suit carrying a briefcase. You have to be nice to everyone, but I immediately knew that this was going to be a waste of time.
I sit him down in my office and ask him what he's looking for. He calmly lays down his briefcase and asks me for a TWO BILLION DOLLAR LOAN.
First of all, I'm not even authorized to give more than 250M(thousand). When I asked him why he needed this he said that he wanted to buy all the property in our entire city, demolish it, and rebuild it into a "super city". After immediately declining this spectacular deal, he let's me know that he was really disappointed because he was hoping to quit his job at the grocery store that day.
9. My wife once had this guy walk in to the bank very discreetly. Holding onto his backpack like it was a life vest on the titanic. He was in the bank to try and sell his birth certificate.
10. I had a guy call up one time trying to get a loan to build a home for his pet monkeys. They were stinking up his living area and he wanted them to have their own place.
11. I'm just a teller, so I don't deal with loans much. There was one guy who said he just needed $50 until he got paid. And I said, well do you have a credit card? We can do a cash advance. He said no, he needs a loan. I said, I don't think there's anyway we can give you a $50 loan. He said, well can you just give it to me and then take it out of my account when my check comes in? I said, that's not really something we do and probably no one to actually record and monitor it. He looked enraged and said (Continued)
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He looked enraged and said BUT YOU'RE A BANK!! and then stormed off. I just gave my manager the WTF look.
12. Elderly lady came to our small credit union to request a multi-million dollar loan to open a water park. Her "business plan" was handwritten on unlined paper.
She also claimed that she was the divorced wife of a country music star.
13. A 20-something dude who just started out a "career" as "area sales manager" for some MLM scam wanted to buy a Mercedes to "adequately represent his profession / position", something in the range of 60k EUR. Needless to say the loan was denied, and since he had his current account with us, I would check it periodically for the big bucks he claimed would be rolling in soon. Didn't even take 2 months until he was on welfare.
14. I'm a teller, but one time a customer asked me to schedule him an appointment with a financial advisor at our branch because he was seriously considering taking out a loan to purchase a pet parrot....
15. I had one customer who wanted to open a restaurant. she had a good deal of experience managing a restaurant which is great. unfortunately she had nothing planned. not even a location. she walked in to ask about a loan with no idea what she was going to use it for.
16. Just last week I had someone want to apply for a loan so she could go eat at Luby's with her friends.
17. Buying a revenge snake.
A customer walks in. He asks for $200. I asked him why as he was filling out the paperwork. He said his Ex has been breaking into his house almost every night, but she is terrified of snakes. He was going to buy a massive snake and (Continued)
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and sleep with it, until she stops breaking in. If she doesn't he is going to release the snake into her apartment. I gave him a mortified look, worrying that his genius will escape him. He gave me a $5 tip and walked off smugly.
And he went to buy his revenge snake
18. I had a guy come in acting rudely to the greeter, who then referred them over to myself. Guy was in his fifties and looked liked he lived in his car. Proceeds to tell me he needs five thousand dollars to fly to Washington to solve the murder of his son and retrieve the body. He does not want to do any paperwork for this and tells me he's a cocaine dealer, and he wants to leave ten thousand dollars worth of coke for the five grand cash without even showing an ID. He assures me he's a professional and in the 26 years he's been doing it he's only been arrested twice. Though he mentioned he did just get out of jail on unrelated-to-cocaine charges. I had to decline his generous and exciting proposal cause ya know, everything.
19. I had a guy who owned his own multi-level marketing business and was looking for a business development loan.
Mostly for me, the absurd part of peoples request are when they want a business loan because they have an idea they think would work. Yet they have no experience, no capital and insufficient collateral. Sometimes it's a legitimate proposal but they don't have the resources or collateral. Barriers to entry is a hard concept for some to understand.
Then there are the requests that just hard to deal with. I had a lady who needed a loan for only enough to cremate her husband who had just passed away (since it was less expensive). She had terrible credit and basically no income... I made the loan anyway.
20. "I'd like to build a giant space station that can destroy a planet."
21. I used to go out with a girl whose mother was a rep for a high interest doorstep loan company. The customers were generally poor and should not be getting involved in such loans, but she did noooot care, sold the loans and encouraged more - which is Ok I guess, somebody has to.
So anyway she had one customer that was obviously mentally deficient to some degree. He never worked, hardly went out, lived alone and had no real interests of note - mostly just sitting around watching TV, and doing housework (he was happy enough with his simple life).
So he used to get a loan, pay his payment every week and when it was finished, he would take out another. One day she asked him what he was doing with the loans, and his answer was that he put the money in his savings account. If he borrowed 200, by the time the loan was done he maybe had 201. In his eyes it was a genius scheme to make money. The fact that he had paid around 60 in interest was lost on him.
Obviously GF's mother did not take the time to explain his error...
22. We had a customer request a loan for a "possible funeral". They ended up being denied so we didn't get any more of an explanation.
23. Not a banker, but I am a pawnbroker. A frequent customer, who happens to be a gambling addict goes to best buy and buys a brand new 1000 dollar tv on her credit card, brings it to my shop and borrows a few hundred bucks on the tv. Proceeds to go to the casino, wins a bunch of money, comes back and (Continued)
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pays back what she owes me for the tv loan which all things considered is very cheap (like 20 bucks to borrow 300) then returns the tv to best buy so she doesn't have to pay the rates for a cash advance on her card. A long crazy process to get extra gambling cash. I am not even sure its cheaper for her to do it that way than to just get cash on her card. She has done that about 5 times though, we see no reason not to do it but I am certain there are more efficient ways to spend your money.
24. Not a request. But it was a question I received after granting a 71 year old man a loan. He said to me that "How can you assure me that my account isn't going to be hacked with one of those Russian decoder machines" Pensioners these days eh?
25. Client wanted a $60k loan to send the funds to her overseas US boyfriend that she had never met because he was going to pay her back as soon as he got his discharge from the marines.
There had been a mix up with his papers supposedly and they were trying to deploy him to Afghanistan when he was supposed to be retiring and somehow because of this all his money was frozen.
She got the loan and I often wonder about her and hope that it was not a complete crock of turd.
I know she definitely sent him the money as when she came to get the loan she had already sent him over $50k in the last week. Couldn't get a clear answer why he needed so much money other than he was trying to sort things out so he can come be with her.
It was an unusual situation and due to responsible lending I was very apprehensive about doing the loan. Got it cleared with management after we got the client to declare that she fully understood the risks etc.
She was adamant that he was legit.
Note: I understand how so many people can't comprehend how we could morally lend this woman the money.
I honestly tried to discourage her, I know how it sounds and many people here now think I'm an awful person but I did everything in MY power to stop her.
She knew what she was doing. She knew the implications. If I didn't give her the loan she would have got it from someone else. We, being my boss and I, spent plenty of time warning her of scams and the risks. She was absolutely adamant he was her boyfriend and we were worried about nothing.
So we couldn't stop her as there was no reason to deny other than our suspicion. There's no way for us to prove that it was a scam despite how it sounded. At the end of the day you just can't stop some people from making poor decisions, no matter how hard you try to tell them.
26. I am an initial reviewer for loans when they first come in for a VERY large bank
I saw a couple that owned a large bag making company.
On every loan you have to disclose how much money you make every month so the bank can set a fair interest rate.
This couple made a combined total of $500,000 a month and were applying for a house that had an appraised value of $600,000
That made no sense to me to be honest... Like in 2 months you could buy that house.
I have seen a lot of crazy things when it comes to how much people make in certain fields.
if you have any questions ask away!
27. I used to be in consumer lending for a credit union call center and a lady called in one time asking for a personal loan. Our policy was to ask what the funds were going to be used for. When I asked, she said, "I need to buy a bell pepper for dinner." I was sure I misheard her and asked her to explain. So she said, "I am trying to make dinner and it requires a bell pepper. I need the loan to get the bell pepper."
28. To film Lethal Weapon 6
29. Had one guy come in trying to get a loan for a car. He really wanted a brand new Dodge Charger but he was unemployed and in the process of applying for Ontario Works (welfare) I was just a teller but I introduced him to the financial representative that could help him. When she pulled up his credit she saw that he had a loan with another bank that wasn't being paid. He told her that was because the interest they were charging him was bull and he won't pay them back. Needless to say he still doesn't have his Dodge Charger.
30. I once had a man in his early 20's take out a $60k loan to pay for traffic violations he racked up in a 9 month period. Upon further probing, he admitted that he pays around 20-50k a year on speeding tickets and reckless driving citations. I was floored at how he almost seemed chuffed by this.
There's something seeing a person litter that drives me up the wall. I remember being a kid and being explicitly told to hold on to my trash and not just throw it in the street. As a kid, I distinctly remember being made fun of for not just throwing the bag of chips I'd just eaten or an empty soda bottle into the gutter.
I can't imagine doing that. Why?! We truly treat this planet as if we have somewhere else to go.
After Redditor pnrddt asked the online community, "What small action immediately makes you dislike a stranger?" people shared their observations.
"Playing music..."<p>Playing music or having a 'private' conversation via speaker phone in a public place.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginci58?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">LLCoolBrap</a></p>
"When they exhibit..."<p><strong></strong>When they exhibit a personality trait that I also have, and don't like about myself. Every time I find myself being dismissive or judgemental of somebody, it's just my own insecurity.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginn0g5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3"></a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginn0g5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">iotangle42</a></p>
"When I'm talking..."<p>When I'm talking and they are not listening. Like they are not even trying to pretend that they are listening.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/gincjto?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">eat-the-rich-07</a></p>
"Because one of these days..."<p>A person can treat me like a princess but as soon as I see them mistreating either animals or people, I am out of there. Because one of these days, you'll be on that receiving end.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginpr97?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">starlightradio</a></p>
"It just screams..."<p>Telling people to smile. It just screams condescending and a lack of emotional intelligence.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginovsj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3"></a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginovsj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">3FoolsinaTrenchcoat</a></p>
"When I hear that..."<p>Grown ups using "baby talk" to try to get what they want. I'm not talking about when people goo-goo at babies, but when they use a silly whiney voice to try to persuade people or make people do them a favour.</p><p>"Aww, pwease hewp me wiv dis wittle pwoject."</p><p>When I hear that I instantly lose respect for that person, be it a stranger or someone I know.</p><p>Pet peeve.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginbwb4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">handsahwill</a></p>
"Okay, we get it..."<p>One-upping people. "Yeah, that's pretty good, but one time I..." Okay, we get it, your life is more amazing than everyone else's.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginhrkd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">well-uh-yeah</a></p>
"When out driving..."<p><strong></strong><strong></strong>When out driving, someone who pulls out in front of you, then proceeds to go 5-10+ mph under the speed limit.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/gingjuj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3"></a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/gingjuj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">FuzzMcBeefy84</a></p>
"If you don't..."<p>Talking negatively about anyone who's just trying to have a good time in a fun setting. If you don't have nice to say shut the hell up.</p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/gio4vf5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">intergLACTIC</a></p>
"When people..."<p>When people put other people down to try and make themselves look better. "Oh I'm just playing around with them we're friends." I don't care quit being an @ss you know what you're doing and you should be able to tell you're making them feel bad.</p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/gio9p3c?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">inf303</a></p>
"If it's into a drain..."<p>Spitting on the pavement.</p><p>If it's into a drain, that's fair enough, sometimes you get phlegm and you need to get rid of it. Going for a drain shows you're at least considerate of other, imo. But on the floor where anyone can step in it (or if you're in a wheelchair, get it all over your hands from pushing the wheels) is just gross.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ktpb6p/what_small_action_immediately_makes_you_dislike_a/ginojq3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ghostmadlittlemiss</a></p>
When you're in the market for a slew of very specific facts that all fall under the same general theme, the internet really delivers.
Forget streamlined public health capabilities and revolutionized human communication, the true beauty of the internet is all the random, barely useful information you can find when a bunch odd people decide to assemble and swap info.
Homemade Tarantula<p>"Dental student here. Black hairy tongue is a common condition and it's exactly what it sounds like." </p><p>"It's just caused by buildup of dead skin that becomes hair like because of tobacco use or antibiotic use. Usually combined with lack of frictional forces from brushing"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/giu9tdq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Alarm-Potential</a></p>
Load Em Up<p>"When a patient gets a kidney transplant, they usually leave the old 2 behind unless there's a significant problem with them."</p><p>"The extra kidney is just tucked in the peritoneum leaving the patient with 3 kidneys."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/giu6qjd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">MedicalJargon-itis</a></p>
Come On Mutations!<p>"Every single melanocyte on your skin (you know, the ones that give your hairs color, and your skin its skin color) is connected to your sympathetic nervous system via modified synapses."</p><p>"No-one knows why they're connected that way - but we do know that under stress, those nerves nuke the pool of stem cells that create hair pigment, which is why it makes you go grey."</p><p>"A few mutations and you could theoretically be able to control them and change color like a chameleon."</p><p>"So in many ways, we're basically walking cuttlefish."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/giuyo29?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">PavlovaPalava</a></p>
Play the Long Game, People<p>"Humans can outpace any animal on the planet."</p><p>"No, we're not the fastest, but if we were chasing the fastest animal (cheetah) we would catch it and be able to keep going."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/gisujdr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Bout3Fidy</a></p>
Little Helpful Critters<p>"There are little microscopic organisms living in your eyebrows, eating away at the dead skin."</p><p>"Don't freak out, they are very helpful and completely harmless, just a little gross"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/giud33u?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Vid-Me-BossCheesburg</a></p>
Thankfully That Filter is a Pretty Good One<p>"Saliva is filtered blood. Your tears are too. And if you're too stressed out you can cry blood."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/gitshe5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">mylifeisathrowaway10</a></p>
Imagine It All in a Bottle<p>"I know that the average human churns out between 1 and 2 liters of saliva every day.... oh and we have parasites who are embedded in our hair follicles, and they eat away at our skin, thus causing Dandruff :,)"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/gisrxcc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Throwawayyy123451</a></p>
So Hot<p>"Humans give off so much body heat that in 30 min we can boil a gallon of water" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/giu1ngt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Financial-Ad-6050</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/giu1ngt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3"></a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Rookie numbers" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/giuvqqt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">nopenothappening</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Pshh I can get a gallon of water boiling in like 10 minutes tops" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/giuhji3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ridiculouslygay</a></p>
Oh Dear<p>"Old ladies often have prolapse of their pelvic organs. This means their vaginal walls got so weak that it can no longer support their bladder or uterus."</p><p> -Nurse practitioner"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kum69x/doctors_of_reddit_whats_the_weirdestgrossest_fact/gitopxb?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">vespertinas</a></p>
Working in a doctor's office means helping people when they're at their lowest. Sometimes, that leads to wonderful moments when the patient is thankful for all the advice and care you provided. Other times, it means taking something out of someone's bum.
Turns out, that second one happens a lot more than you might think.
For Fashion And Protection<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQ1MDMwOC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1MjkwNTU2OX0.6D-LIQ26JXH0-7OtPpG93HOtt41wAv62bGHMVvuAYpk/img.gif?width=980" id="7ff06" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="6109fb5baf04f17deade8b58695881d1" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />wound up season 3 GIFGiphy<p>I had a patient come in with lacerations to her fingers. Her blender got clogged and she stuck her hand inside to clear it. She cleared it and the blender resumed....um blending. Luckily, she had long acrylic nails. This helped lessen the impact.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/gitz5l4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">Bornagainchola</a></p>
I'd Rather Go To Sleep<p>Guy came in after being concerned the bed sheet had stuck to his lower leg. Turns out hed been using a petrol mower the evening before and it had exploded. Full thickness burn to his calf. No pain. He wanted to go home to feed his cows instead of being transferred to burns and plastics. Man it looked like white leather.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/gitkqf9?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">DamaskRoses</a></p>
Why Play Typical Catch?<p>Guy was camping with his frat buddies and they were firing air rifles at each other with a baseball glove on.</p><p>The pellet was lodged well into his hand. Like, how did you think this was going to end?</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/gitq7lt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">Milesofstyle</a></p>
Close Eyes Off From The World<p>I was in the ER as a patient next to a guy who was brought in via ambulance because he super glued his eye lids shut.</p><p>He was high as a kite, but so was I from the pain meds I'd been given for my own injury. Whatever meds I was given made me think everything was hilarious. I got yelled at by the nurses for laughing hysterically in the next room. He was being a pain in the a--, ER was on diversion already, and they were not amused.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/githxnc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">brubarbal</a></p>
That's Why It's Called A "Dog" Toy<p>A few stand out. Person somehow swallowed a spiked dog toy.</p><p>Someone tried to reverse his circumcision by cutting more of his d-ck off with a pair of scissors.</p><p>About every object known to man up the bum. 🎵 if you like it then you shoulda put a string on it." 🎵</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/gitnt24?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">bsn2fnp1</a></p>
Yeah, But, How?<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQ1MDMxMi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0MjAyNTM0OX0.Esaobyl7Yq7QltSxli0ZwjggE7j8A4gu0uNRnn1ZwUc/img.gif?width=980" id="95a28" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="f4eb7f0131c0d79db2de93fd2bbdc0af" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />homer simpson GIFGiphy<p>I've seen an internal vaginal laceration from someone climbing a fence while trying to see something happening down the street.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/giss2id?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">midturbinate</a></p>
Again With The Butt...<p>ER Nurse here</p><p>-We had a girl come in and who knows what she was doing but she had one of the thin glow sticks in her bladder, maybe some fun finger/glow play during a concert? I don't know but pretty wild.</p><ul><li>Also I had a Spanish speaking only gentleman explain why a shoe polish bottle was in his bum, we had to use a video interpreter due to the language barrier but it's was pretty wild to hear the interpreter say "I have a bottle of polish in my anus" after expecting him to just explain why he had belly pain. We also proceeded to print out multiple pictures of common types of shoe polish he used to ask him if it was "this one or that one". It was hilarious when he identified what one it was based on the picture, he had to go to the OR</li></ul><div><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/gitqmlm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">AirFryersRule</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/gitqmlm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a></div>
Sounds Like A College Guy Thing To Do<p>Had a university student who ignited a firework in his anus while drunk for the amusement of his buddies. It exploded, causing full thickness burns of his rectum, resulting in him needing a colostomy</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kuld31/er_doctors_and_nurses_of_reddit_what_is_the/giss6l1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">ArcofRiolan</a></p>
Wow...<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQ1MDI4OC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzMDMyMzMyMn0.b42VhIpJrAsaFR19Cf55ZVkWnby5yTIrMhI73HVAImk/img.gif?width=980" id="3ccdf" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="50847094a4e17c16febbb35d2146f14f" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />scared homer simpson GIFGiphy<p>Operating theatre - this woman came in with a frozen chicken stuck inside her lady parts. Apparently she had a habit of buying them, inserting them and then pulling them out, as she really had a thing for going through childbirth, but on this occasion, she hadn't allowed time for it to defrost properly /adequately.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Mike_OxonFaier/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Mike_OxonFaier</a></p><p><em>Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter <a href="https://mailchi.mp/knowable/knowable-newsletter-in-content" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">here</a>. </em></p>
I love movies. The cinema has long been a savior of mine and has given me some of my greatest inspirations. But being an avid film watcher has also made me quite the critic. I can always tell when a movie is worth the money to see in theaters or wait until it's on basic cable with commercials. The signs of mediocrity abound, and sometimes they aren't that difficult to spot.Redditor u/fjv08kl wanted to know what is obvious about mediocre cinema by asking.... What are some subtle 'red flags' that tell you a movie is not worth watching?