Bank Employees Share The Most Absurd Reason They've Receive From Someone Requesting A Loan

"Well how else am I supposed to buy myself a trip to Mars?"
1. Work in wealth management, had a client request a 'loan' from her trust fund. She was attending college and flunking out, she wanted to BUY the private school and fire all the teachers who were 'plotting against her'. Sadly that request was denied.
2. A long time ago I had a temp job in the credit dept of a catalog ordering company. This was prior to omnipresent online credit card use, so large orders phoned in from the catalog were treated as loans. We would pull a credit report and assess the situation.
One guy's order tripped the limits and he was sent my way. Hmm he wants to order ... 2000 window air conditioners? That's very expensive, and seemed odd because if you are a home developer or a retail store and need a lot of inventory, you buy bulk. My catalog company sold to the public.
So I start digging and he lives in Georgia. I looked it up on a map, middle of nowhere. His address is something something trailer court. OK. Also not good.
Bankruptcy declared ... yesterday! lol and the history gets worse as you go back.
So I kill his order and send him the standard letter, and think nothing of it. Until a few months go by. The letter I sent him instructs to call with questions, which is silly, because I can't give out any info on the phone, anyway. Regardless, he calls. I answer the phone. He starts screaming. He starts by screaming. I don't know who he is or what he wants yet. But this is par for the course.
I get him simmered down and am talking to him about why he can't order 2000 air conditioners, without really saying why. He's acting all indignant as if he doesn't have no job and doesn't live in a mobile home and didn't just declare bankruptcy, and wasn't trying to sneak in one more order before the paperwork is filed (he wouldn't have to pay back the "loan" for 2000 air conditioners).
So he gets mopey and says, "aw durn. I was hoping to cool off mah yurd. muggy down here. and hot as a anything."
His plan was to plug in 2000 air conditioners and air condition the outside.
3. Once had a guy try to get a loan to start his business of home pharmaceutical sales.
But here's the kicker: he had (Continued)
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But here's the kicker: he had two previous convictions for hard drugs.
At that point it's like he's not even trying to be clever.
4. Kind of an anti-loan but customer comes in saying they wanted to discuss their car loan.
In reality, once we started discussing the customer tossed the keys and said "It's yours, now stop calling" and left.
5. Oh where to start. Had one customer who wanted to borrow funds to start a theme park based Around tents, no where near other people, with projections that between 600,000 -800,000 people would attend per year. Another customer wanted a loan using his ex wife's house as collateral / on the basis that he had paid for it so it was really his money anyway.
Third customer wanting to borrow funds to start a snow manufacturing and delivery business for Christmas (in rural Australia, where Christmas is held in summer and is rarely under 30 Celsius) Fourth customer wanting to buy a Range Rover while on Centrelink (state welfare) with a non-payment period because she "could use the car to meet someone who could pay for It"
The list goes on.
6. I worked at a call center for credit union. I would tell people balances, take loan applications, etc. So, an elderly man would spend hundreds of dollars a week at a liquor store spending everything in his account. He would call up, obviously drunk, wanting his account balance and wanting to know why his debit card was declined. Well, he spent all his money at the liquor store. So, he would ask for a loan for more money (probably to buy more alcohol.) Because of the law or whatever, we were not allowed to decline him for applying for a loan. So, we had to fill out a loan application, just for him to be not be approved for it obviously. He would apply for loans once, even twice a month. Never approved. I honestly think he was drunk all the time and never remembered applying for loans.
Finally, after, I think a year of this, this issue eventually made it's way up to the head people of the credit union and they decided they would have him come in...with a family member, and discuss his account. I think they had an intervention with him and made a family member present just in case this guy was suffering from dementia and needed family to take over his financials from him (a la power of attorney, etc.) From what I hear, it went good. I never heard of him applying for a loan again, to my knowledge. If he did ever call in again, he was suppose to be sent to a manager for another discussion over the phone.
Not really an absurd reason as it is a sad one.
7. I had three guys come in asking for a loan to buy gasoline. They wanted to buy a ton of gas, store it and resell it after the price went up. They had charts with girls in bikinis on it, and I think they (Continued)
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thought they'd be speaking with a man. It got real weird after that but none the less, I declined their loan request to buy gasoline.
8. I had a young male non-client come set up an appointment for a business loan with a teller. The scheduler notes alluded to an engineering firm so I assumed he was a recent graduate looking for startup capital, generally these loans aren't crazy as they're only looking for 10-20M(thousand) to get things rolling. Boy was I wrong. This kid came in probably no more than 20, slicked back hair, full three piece suit carrying a briefcase. You have to be nice to everyone, but I immediately knew that this was going to be a waste of time.
I sit him down in my office and ask him what he's looking for. He calmly lays down his briefcase and asks me for a TWO BILLION DOLLAR LOAN.
First of all, I'm not even authorized to give more than 250M(thousand). When I asked him why he needed this he said that he wanted to buy all the property in our entire city, demolish it, and rebuild it into a "super city". After immediately declining this spectacular deal, he let's me know that he was really disappointed because he was hoping to quit his job at the grocery store that day.
9. My wife once had this guy walk in to the bank very discreetly. Holding onto his backpack like it was a life vest on the titanic. He was in the bank to try and sell his birth certificate.
BIRTH CERTIFICATE
[deleted]
10. I had a guy call up one time trying to get a loan to build a home for his pet monkeys. They were stinking up his living area and he wanted them to have their own place.
11. I'm just a teller, so I don't deal with loans much. There was one guy who said he just needed $50 until he got paid. And I said, well do you have a credit card? We can do a cash advance. He said no, he needs a loan. I said, I don't think there's anyway we can give you a $50 loan. He said, well can you just give it to me and then take it out of my account when my check comes in? I said, that's not really something we do and probably no one to actually record and monitor it. He looked enraged and said (Continued)
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He looked enraged and said BUT YOU'RE A BANK!! and then stormed off. I just gave my manager the WTF look.
12. Elderly lady came to our small credit union to request a multi-million dollar loan to open a water park. Her "business plan" was handwritten on unlined paper.
She also claimed that she was the divorced wife of a country music star.
13. A 20-something dude who just started out a "career" as "area sales manager" for some MLM scam wanted to buy a Mercedes to "adequately represent his profession / position", something in the range of 60k EUR. Needless to say the loan was denied, and since he had his current account with us, I would check it periodically for the big bucks he claimed would be rolling in soon. Didn't even take 2 months until he was on welfare.
14. I'm a teller, but one time a customer asked me to schedule him an appointment with a financial advisor at our branch because he was seriously considering taking out a loan to purchase a pet parrot....
15. I had one customer who wanted to open a restaurant. she had a good deal of experience managing a restaurant which is great. unfortunately she had nothing planned. not even a location. she walked in to ask about a loan with no idea what she was going to use it for.
16. Just last week I had someone want to apply for a loan so she could go eat at Luby's with her friends.
17. Buying a revenge snake.
A customer walks in. He asks for $200. I asked him why as he was filling out the paperwork. He said his Ex has been breaking into his house almost every night, but she is terrified of snakes. He was going to buy a massive snake and (Continued)
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and sleep with it, until she stops breaking in. If she doesn't he is going to release the snake into her apartment. I gave him a mortified look, worrying that his genius will escape him. He gave me a $5 tip and walked off smugly.
And he went to buy his revenge snake
18. I had a guy come in acting rudely to the greeter, who then referred them over to myself. Guy was in his fifties and looked liked he lived in his car. Proceeds to tell me he needs five thousand dollars to fly to Washington to solve the murder of his son and retrieve the body. He does not want to do any paperwork for this and tells me he's a cocaine dealer, and he wants to leave ten thousand dollars worth of coke for the five grand cash without even showing an ID. He assures me he's a professional and in the 26 years he's been doing it he's only been arrested twice. Though he mentioned he did just get out of jail on unrelated-to-cocaine charges. I had to decline his generous and exciting proposal cause ya know, everything.
19. I had a guy who owned his own multi-level marketing business and was looking for a business development loan.
Mostly for me, the absurd part of peoples request are when they want a business loan because they have an idea they think would work. Yet they have no experience, no capital and insufficient collateral. Sometimes it's a legitimate proposal but they don't have the resources or collateral. Barriers to entry is a hard concept for some to understand.
Then there are the requests that just hard to deal with. I had a lady who needed a loan for only enough to cremate her husband who had just passed away (since it was less expensive). She had terrible credit and basically no income... I made the loan anyway.
20. "I'd like to build a giant space station that can destroy a planet."
21. I used to go out with a girl whose mother was a rep for a high interest doorstep loan company. The customers were generally poor and should not be getting involved in such loans, but she did noooot care, sold the loans and encouraged more - which is Ok I guess, somebody has to.
So anyway she had one customer that was obviously mentally deficient to some degree. He never worked, hardly went out, lived alone and had no real interests of note - mostly just sitting around watching TV, and doing housework (he was happy enough with his simple life).
So he used to get a loan, pay his payment every week and when it was finished, he would take out another. One day she asked him what he was doing with the loans, and his answer was that he put the money in his savings account. If he borrowed 200, by the time the loan was done he maybe had 201. In his eyes it was a genius scheme to make money. The fact that he had paid around 60 in interest was lost on him.
Obviously GF's mother did not take the time to explain his error...
22. We had a customer request a loan for a "possible funeral". They ended up being denied so we didn't get any more of an explanation.
23. Not a banker, but I am a pawnbroker. A frequent customer, who happens to be a gambling addict goes to best buy and buys a brand new 1000 dollar tv on her credit card, brings it to my shop and borrows a few hundred bucks on the tv. Proceeds to go to the casino, wins a bunch of money, comes back and (Continued)
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pays back what she owes me for the tv loan which all things considered is very cheap (like 20 bucks to borrow 300) then returns the tv to best buy so she doesn't have to pay the rates for a cash advance on her card. A long crazy process to get extra gambling cash. I am not even sure its cheaper for her to do it that way than to just get cash on her card. She has done that about 5 times though, we see no reason not to do it but I am certain there are more efficient ways to spend your money.
24. Not a request. But it was a question I received after granting a 71 year old man a loan. He said to me that "How can you assure me that my account isn't going to be hacked with one of those Russian decoder machines" Pensioners these days eh?
25. Client wanted a $60k loan to send the funds to her overseas US boyfriend that she had never met because he was going to pay her back as soon as he got his discharge from the marines.
There had been a mix up with his papers supposedly and they were trying to deploy him to Afghanistan when he was supposed to be retiring and somehow because of this all his money was frozen.
She got the loan and I often wonder about her and hope that it was not a complete crock of turd.
I know she definitely sent him the money as when she came to get the loan she had already sent him over $50k in the last week. Couldn't get a clear answer why he needed so much money other than he was trying to sort things out so he can come be with her.
It was an unusual situation and due to responsible lending I was very apprehensive about doing the loan. Got it cleared with management after we got the client to declare that she fully understood the risks etc.
She was adamant that he was legit.
Note: I understand how so many people can't comprehend how we could morally lend this woman the money.
I honestly tried to discourage her, I know how it sounds and many people here now think I'm an awful person but I did everything in MY power to stop her.
She knew what she was doing. She knew the implications. If I didn't give her the loan she would have got it from someone else. We, being my boss and I, spent plenty of time warning her of scams and the risks. She was absolutely adamant he was her boyfriend and we were worried about nothing.
So we couldn't stop her as there was no reason to deny other than our suspicion. There's no way for us to prove that it was a scam despite how it sounded. At the end of the day you just can't stop some people from making poor decisions, no matter how hard you try to tell them.
26. I am an initial reviewer for loans when they first come in for a VERY large bank
I saw a couple that owned a large bag making company.
On every loan you have to disclose how much money you make every month so the bank can set a fair interest rate.
This couple made a combined total of $500,000 a month and were applying for a house that had an appraised value of $600,000
That made no sense to me to be honest... Like in 2 months you could buy that house.
I have seen a lot of crazy things when it comes to how much people make in certain fields.
if you have any questions ask away!
27. I used to be in consumer lending for a credit union call center and a lady called in one time asking for a personal loan. Our policy was to ask what the funds were going to be used for. When I asked, she said, "I need to buy a bell pepper for dinner." I was sure I misheard her and asked her to explain. So she said, "I am trying to make dinner and it requires a bell pepper. I need the loan to get the bell pepper."
28. To film Lethal Weapon 6
29. Had one guy come in trying to get a loan for a car. He really wanted a brand new Dodge Charger but he was unemployed and in the process of applying for Ontario Works (welfare) I was just a teller but I introduced him to the financial representative that could help him. When she pulled up his credit she saw that he had a loan with another bank that wasn't being paid. He told her that was because the interest they were charging him was bull and he won't pay them back. Needless to say he still doesn't have his Dodge Charger.
30. I once had a man in his early 20's take out a $60k loan to pay for traffic violations he racked up in a 9 month period. Upon further probing, he admitted that he pays around 20-50k a year on speeding tickets and reckless driving citations. I was floored at how he almost seemed chuffed by this.
Many of us sometimes fantasize about what we would do to our worst enemies, especially in the moments when they're actively making our lives worse.
While most of us would never actually do any of the things that we contemplate instead of screaming at that super annoying person at the office, we do get pretty creative with the ideas.
Redditor take_me_there_ asked:
"What WOULD you wish on your worst enemy?"
This One Would Hurt
"A conscience. Let her realize the horrific things she’s done."
- Jenny010137
"Seriously. Introspection, self awareness, and empathy are traits that would improve a lot of sh*tty people."
- el_muerte17
"Oh I wish I had thought of this one. If my enemy had a conscience, wow life would be much different."
- Shelbysouth43
No Pearly Whites For You
"I’d like all their teeth to turn really yellow and stay yellow no matter what they do."
- toothfixingfiend
"What did I ever do to you?"
- Spideredd
"I don't even know you! Give me back my enamel!"
- AngryMustache9
Everything You Own Is Orange Now
"Permanent Cheeto fingers. Just orange cheese dust getting on everything."
- cocoapuff1721
"This has to be one of the most evil things I ever heard, yet absolutely hilarious."
-Merk0411
"The Midas Touch: Snack Edition"
- MaryVenetia
Ouch, But Forever
"Stubbing and breaking their toe and right as it’s about to be done healing it happens again over and over for the rest of their pitiful time on this hell we call earth."
- No-Bee-2971
"Sisyphoot"
- Alpha_6
"More of a Toemetheus imo"
- PykeTheDrowned
Self Reflection
"For them to realize how big of an a-hole they are."
- mayhemanaged
"Same for me. The trouble is mine probably knows what a tremendous a-hole he is, and just doesn't care (it's what defines him, is his outlook more than likely), so, give mine a conscience as well, he undeniably lacks one."
- RhoadsOfRock
"a crushing moment of self realization is something that can destroy you mentally. I wish that on them."
- chancetodream
Bury Them Under A Mountain Of Minor Inconveniences
"Always being hungry two hours after eating no matter how large the meal. Slow internet. Traffic jams no matter the location. Self doubt. Allergies. Favorite shows spoiled."
"Nothing major enough to be life altering but constant, low grade inconveniences that wear on your soul every day."
- I_Love_Small_Br**sts
"Every bite of food they eat/drink they drink being slightly the wrong temperature."
"Coffee? Warm but not hot. Cola? Cool, but not cold. Muffin? Ever so slightly frozen."
"Not enough to ruin their life, but just enough to not quite have full enjoyment of anything.."
- HappiHappiHappi
They'll Never Be Able To Use Their Computer Again
"Quick scan with McAfee on their computer."
- halflife_3
"You f**king monster."
- Orion_2kTC
"The constant pop-ups from McAfee is too far."
- _Land_Rover_Series_3
That's A New Level Of Evil
"Bed bugs."
- thrawn1825
"Currently dealing with bed bugs, and I can absolutely confirm this is the kind of thing I would wish upon my worst enemy. It is miserable and painful, and I've tried everything to get rid of them at this point."
"I would easily wish this upon my worst enemy, x10."
- ArbitrarilyStagnant
"Oh hell no, you went there... Hopefully they aren't living in an apartment complex or you've cursed everyone in the building."
- expect_less
Well of course I know him. He’s me.
"$100,000. I sure could use it."
- Sparklesperson
"'It’s no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy'"
- FishyVonFishenHymer
"Lol I thought this was that deep sh*t like 'pray for those you resent to have all the things you want in life….' Then I realized."
- No-Chipmunk9527
Forever Constipated
"That they can never have a satisfying poop. They always feel like they have to go to the bathroom and when they do nothing comes."
- [User Deleted]
"Wow. That's evil. Always feeling the need to pee would be good (as in horrific) too."
- ipakookapi
We definitely don't recommend implementing any of these plans (not that most would actually be possible), but here's some new ideas for the next time you're stuck in a meeting with your most annoying coworker and need a little fantastical escape.
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I grew up poor, and I remember the little things that made me smile when we just happened to have enough that week.
The little things that a truly rich person would not think twice about.
Ah, the luxury of it.
What spells luxury for you?
Redditor ConAir161057 wanted to compare notes about the things in life that feel like items only money can buy. They asked:
"For people who grew up with little money, what always felt like a luxury?"
New clothes. I had so many hand me downs and thrift store clothes... new seemed like a dream.
Anxiety
"After growing up in a home where every unexpected problem was a financial emergency, my idea of wealthy became 'I just want enough money that if something breaks I don't get anxiety about how to deal with it.'"
Obiwan_ca_bl**me
Literature
"Getting to buy something from the scholastic book fair."
Rich*itch3232
"My school, at the end of it a bunch of books were 'donated' and then spread out on a table in the library. We all got to go pick one book. So even if kids didn’t get to purchase a book, in the end they had a chance to still get a book. It’s actually how I got my first Harry Potter book. Was a cool idea for any school staff or parents active in their kids’ schools."
glass_pillow
Christmas
"Getting new clothes at Christmas from relatives. I don't know if that is exactly a luxury or the kind of answer you are looking for, but we never had a lot of money when I was in middle school. I went an entire year wearing the same pants everyday. The funny thing was my parents didn't even buy them for me."
"I got them for Christmas from my Grandparents. All the kids use to give me so much sh*t for wearing the same pants everyday. I always told them that I had 5 of the same pair which made me feel good inside and kind of made them ease off even though I know they didn't believe me."
"I remember I fell on the school bus one day and the jagged floor cut a hole right in the knee cap and the panic that went over me was just insane. It was one of the worst feelings of my whole life because I knew that I didn't have any other pants to wear and that now all of the kids in my school were going to know that I only had 1 pair. Needless to say I could not wait for the last month of school to end."
themagicman_1231
I'm Away
"Summer camp, or basically any school trips that had to be paid for. At my school the kids who couldn't afford to go on trips that happened during school hours still had to come to the school, we just sat in a room and did extra work like it was detention."
Helpful_Yams
"I was lucky. If you taught at the day camp your kid could go for free. That was just day camp though not sleepaway camp. My mom found a camp teacher who had no kids of his own and he signed me up as his kid so I could get free day camp. Did that all through elementary school."
randtcouple
Big Deals
"Going out for pizza was a big deal. Those free mini pizzas for reading books were huge."
Shroom4Yoshi
Food is always an issue when you're broke.
Damage
"Being able to turn on the heat in the cold and pay a professional to fix damaged appliances, plumbing, and other issues."
Liggettef
Spoiled
"When my grandma would come pick me up and spoil me. My parents didn't have much money and were addicts so when my grandma would come get me I would come back with new clothes, video games, toys, etc. I used to think my grandma was rich but she actually just had a stable income."
nawlepen
"I was in this position when I was younger. I always thought my grandma had SO much money… but all she did was go to work everyday. Always made sure I had clothes and all my school supplies. I miss her pretty bad."
Keywork29
Water
"I am from a small island in the Pacific. While I mostly still take cold showers, I have always felt that a hot shower is the finest luxury one can experience. I had my first hot shower when I was 22 years old and I can never forget it."
FSMPIO
"This is the kind of luxury I think people take for granted, I always avoided showers in the winter as a kid since most of the time they where cold showers and the temperature here was around 12c° during those times."
PowerfullDio
Showerware
"Towels. Honestly, I was almost 10 When I realized people didn’t just put back on their dirty clothes after a shower because my family was so large (12 kids total including myself) and extremely poor. I thought towels were just for hotels or were maybe a prop on television. I went to a friends house and she asked for my help folding her towels. I remember laughing and thinking she must be rich."
"Long story short, I wasn’t sure which way to fold the towels, and begged my mom to buy them after I revealed that my friend, Simone, had them. She bought a box of used ones from a local auction and I walked around with them on my head feeling like a frigging empress after that, even though—-let’s be clear… these were second hand towels!"
shakezula1025
Or BK...
"Grew up poor and when I was a kid I used to think you were rich if you had a dishwasher and a millionaire if you had one of those refrigerators that have a button for ice. McDonalds was also a luxury, a couple times a year on our birthdays."
chinderellab*tch
Everyone should have access to all of these things. Why is life unfair?
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And there are just as many grievances for which we are not at all sorry.
Curious to hear about people's track record of their questionable behavior, Redditor NanoPKx asked:
"What is something bad you have done with no regrets?"
Is it petty theft or flat out stealing? You decide.
The Parting Gift
"'Forgetting' to bring back a company ipad after they forgot about me having it. Actually they never asked for it back so I still have it and use it."
– Koetjeka
Furry Companion
"I stole a barn kitten while delivering packages for FedEx. He kept climbing my legs and getting into the van, sitting under the wheel when I tried to back out (it was a steep driveway, no way to swing the van around). I called the number on the package, looked the name up on facebook, called the local non-emergency to get contact info, all failed."
"So I took him. Now, if you're not from a rural environment, you might not understand that barn cats like that are 'no-man's-cats.' For all the owners know, he got sick or got got by a coyote. And he would have died, because when we got him to the vet he had a nasty upper resp infection and some other nasties."
"Now, one deformed nasal passage and the cutest snore later, we have a bonkers little orange cat with the heaviest penchant for snuggling I've ever seen (his name is Monty btw)."
"Edit: I forgot to pay my Cat Tax: https://imgur.com/a/HIXS4us"
"Edit Part 2: Monty loves the attention. Thank you for loving him as much as we do :3"
"MmmmMMMMRrrrrrrrrrrAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW" -Montgomerey Valentine, 2022
– SonOfSkinDealer
The Dirty Treat
"A housemate of mine kept eating mine and my girlfriends food and even though I asked him to stop the only thing he would ever say is 'I thought it was mine' then keep eating it."
"Well I bought my girlfriend some ice cream she really enjoys and she put the half she didn’t finish back in the freezer. Well when she want to get the rest it was gone and it made me madder than I think it probably should have."
"The very next time I saw him and somehow keeping a straight apologetic face I told him how he accidentally ate our sex ice cream and that bits of it had been on our parts etc. I told him I felt guilty not to tell him and that I had to apologise for him to eat such a thing."
"I will never forget the face he made when I told him. A face of pure self disgust and shock to which all he had to say was 'I wish you never told me that' and proceeded to move out around a month later."
"Although he didn’t actually eat sex ice cream, like why the f'k would you put it back after use anyway? Sometimes I wonder if I went to far but in that moment I just did not care at all. He still doesn’t know it isn’t true and I’ll probably never see him again."
"F'k you Vitas buy your own food."
– SpicyDolphin74
Vengeance is sweet.
Payback Time
"A drunk driver hit my parked car, left a huge dent in the front driver’s side door, and then drove away. I happened to be looking out the window at the time and saw the whole thing, including his plate number. Cops got there not long after and took my statement. After a couple days and a couple phone calls, I found out nothing was going to come of it because he was the son of the sheriff the next county over."
"Fast forward a couple months, I see his car parked behind a local bar within walking distance of my apartment. I got out my hunting knife and sliced all four of his tires, and made a couple trips around it destroying the paint job. Yellow Pontiac Sunfire, and I still remember the goddamn plate number even after almost 20 years."
– IgnoreMe304
For The People
"I was a GM for a retailer that was going out of business. During the liquidation I let my employees that worked until the end store product they wanted to buy in a closet I claimed I didn't have a key to. Oh the final days I sold them all the items they requested for 95% off. 70" tvs, ipads, gaming laptops whatever they requested."
– Midnights606
Surreptitious Swap
"Years ago I worked for a wealthy dude who was married to someone semi-famous. He would waltz in every morning and talk about the fantastic dinner he had the night before, how he hung out with some other famous person or whatever else."
"He paid me peanuts. I had a hard time making ends meet."
"I was the office assistant and IT guy. So it comes time to get a new computer for one of the designers. I spec something out, and show it to him. It was a ripper of a machine for the time (early 2000s). But it wasn’t expensive enough for bossman."
"So I added a really high end graphics card. Boss was happy then. The card added nothing for the designer: they only did illustrator and photoshop."
"So I came in that weekend and swapped the graphics card for my aging one from home."
"No one ever knew. Or cared. And I got a new graphics card."
– Dudeinairport
When times are tough, people had to do what it took to survive.
T.P. Crisis
"In college I was so poor I would steal toilet paper from the supply closet in our major building."
– Business_Loquat5658
Hungry College Buddy
"I stood watch for a college friend who was going hungry because he’d been disowned and his roommates had made living with him intolerable after he came out."
"I was loosely affiliated with an off campus program with local churches that gave free student dinners on Thursdays. We would go to church to eat, then bring dishes into the kitchen."
"Anyway, he would go in there and steal stuff like peanut butter, literal bread (not an allegory), granola bars etc. while I watched out for the pastor."
"Eventually we both got caught, the pastor for the college students got a bit mad because he was responsible for us while we were there to eat. And I think it was offensive on some level to steal from church. But then he saw what my friend was taking, and asked him if he had enough to eat. My friend shamefacedly said no, not usually."
“'Okay, fine. Put the food back, and come with me.' Took my friend grocery shopping instead, got him connected with the food pantry and community garden at church instead."
– SchnarchendeSchwein
Based on these examples, people didn't twice about their actions in the heat of the moment.
Within reason, we all gotta somehow get by.
But do you think their actions deserve punishment?
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When a person sees someone they care about going through a struggle or crisis, their instinct is to uplift them with positive advice.
But sometimes, the wisdom imparted by friends isn't always helpful or relevant to the situation.
Curious to hear from strangers online who could do without specific knowledge, Redditor Saibotnl1 asked:
"What life advice can just f'k off?"

These Redditors have a problem with how certain people have on outlook on life.
Time To Rest
"Sleep when you’re dead."
"Cool, but you’re going to be dead a lot sooner."
– Tag2graff
Irrelevant Sadness
"People have it so much worse than you so don’t be sad!"
– notrachelmar
"To that I like to say, 'people have it so much better than you so don't be happy!'"
– ___jupiter____
Your Life Path
"Almost anything relating to what age you must be in order to buy a house, have children, marry, have a profession, or do anything else. Seriously, everyone's life is different from everyone else's. Make your life the way you want it to be. If you so desire. Up to you."
– Frn071
On The Contrary
“Cheaters never prosper”
"Yes, they f'king do."
– waqasnaseem07
People can get out of any situation they find displeasing.
But others feel people should just "stick it out."
Ignoring Bullies
"Just ignore bullys or get someone else to handle it for you. I have never seen this work, only makes it worse. The only effective way I've seen to deal with them is by not making yourself an easy target and make them scared to f'k with you again. If going psycho on their a** is the only thing they'll respond to that's their fault. Also want to add in schools they will punish you for self defense but that punishment is only sitting around a few hours in detention or sitting around at home with a suspension. The punishment is temporary boredom, it's absolutely nothing compared to being bullied and when it's over the important message will still stand that you will not tolerate being a victim."
– User Delted
Remain to be Miserable
"Stick it out"
"Whether that's sh**ty jobs, shi**y relationships, shi**y living situations..."
"By all means don't just give up on things when you face challenges, but if something feels wrong or is wrecking your peace then take some control and change it if you can!"
– petitezoey
"Easy for you to say," might be an auto-response to these suggestions for many people.
Invitation For Recklesslessness
"Live like everyday was your last"
Yall know what people do when they learn they have a single day left to live?"
– LimeGrass619
A Possible Consequence
"I did that as a teenager and ended up homeless and addicted to heroin. Didn’t pan out for me too well."
"19 years sober though today."
– Open-Section-7263
A Practical Approach
"If I knew with certainty that I had one day left, I'd double-check all my financials, my will, and my insurance policies, make sure my wife had all of my passwords and knew where all the money was, spend the rest of the day with her and the kids, then call the medical examiner and ask to lie down on the gurney so that when I die they won't strain their back moving my remains out of my house."
– Asteriad
Nose Stuck In A Book
"Work while they sleep. Study while they party"
"That's not a recipe for success, that's a recipe for a lot of white hairs, burnout syndrome and a stroke before your 40s..."
– Khomuna
Doesn't Apply To Everyone
"Do what you love and money will follow"
"I love walking my dogs and grilling food for my friends but That sh*t doesn't pay the bills as well as my engineering degree!"
– Elons_android
While people's intentions are good, they're better off keeping their two cents in their own pockets.
Not everyone likes to hear platitudes.
Sometimes, people just want to know they're not alone with their problems over listening to unlikely solutions that are nothing more than superficial pick-me-ups.
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