Sometimes, life is just too sweet.
1. Stuck in bumper to bumper traffic on the highway. Slow as hell. Some older lady in a BMW is driving like a total jerk. Trying to weave through traffic, cutting people off, driving down the shoulder and cutting back in. Just being super rude.
Finally she decides she's had enough and speeds off down the shoulder and then tries to cut over a median onto the feeder road. Unfortunately for her, the median is just a bit too high and she high-centers herself in glorious fashion and got completely stuck.
And we all got to drive slowly by and smugly stare at her as she stood next her car on her cell phone calling for help.
It was great.
2. My ex and I got into a fight and when I drove off he jumped into my window hanging off the side while I was driving. He lost his grip and I ran over him.
3. A group of ladies I was waiting on at a restaurant were being total turds. They ate all of their appetizer and told me it "Tasted like kaka/was effing nasty" (all of this said in front of their four year old that was climbing over the back of their booth). I didn't give it to them for free, so when they left they dumped their leftover drinks and salsa and stuff all over the table. I didn't catch them doing this, but before I noticed I saw one come back in and pick her phone up off the table.
So she dumped water, margarita, and salsa all over her phone. One that didn't have a waterproof case. That felt good.
4. Outside a venue at a concert, two big tuff guys in a truck were slowly rolling along, obviously bothering two female acquaintances of mine. Finally one of the girls stuck up for the other one and told the dude to piss off. By this point there was a bit of an audience, so truckbro yells something about us guys out there at the show needing to "leash your ladies" (but he used a very rude term instead of ladies), then peeled out toward a four way stop.
Four way stop turned red and they waited. Which was enough time for a very scary dude (and a friend of the girls I found out later) to sprint out of the crowd and after the truck. He reached them at the light, stepped up to the driver side window, leaned in, undid the dude's seatbelt, and ripped him entirely back out the window.
Scary dude proceeded to choke him out and explain to him why it was happening, while truckbro two had to stop the truck from listing out into the intersection. He then got out and whined and orbited, threatening to call the cops over and over.
He let the dudes go, and they got back in their truck, peeled out again, and left.
5. One time I was driving home from work at night during a bad snow storm and these douche holes behind me in a big truck where tailgating me with their high beams on. I just tried to ignore them and focus on driving but... (Continued)
Continue reading on the next page!
5. (Continued) I just tried to ignore them and focus on driving, but then they pass me and start flooring it as we're approaching a 4 way intersection. They managed to cut in front of me just in time to make the turn. (Well, sort of) so we're both turning left, and they floor it out of the intersection and lose control, almost take out a fence and mailbox on the right side of the road, spin across the street off the left shoulder, through the ditch and back onto the road again.
They finally managed to stop but were sideways across both lanes in front of me. So I just lay on my horn, until they finally move. Then as they're pulling away they decide to floor it again. At this point, I was right near my house, so I didn't get to see if they crashed, but I like to think they did.
6. Was out for dinner with my then-fiancee (now wife) and her dad, my (now) father-in-law. He's a bit of a dick to her, he got divorced and re-married, loves those kids more than my wife, gives her crap over too many things, etc. etc.
So we're at the end of dinner, father-in-law offers to pay for the meal. OK, that's nice. My wife asks to get her leftovers boxed and she'll take them home. He starts with "well, you'll just leave them in the fridge, then they'll just get thrown out, blah blah". I tell him "Listen, it's not your fridge, leave her alone". (She and I live together at this point).
He gets all mad, "Don't tell me how to raise my daughter!"
I reply "Then don't speak to my fiancee that way!"
He literally throws the bill & folder thing at me and says "FINE! YOU EFFING PAY THEN" and storms out.
OK, now everyone is pissed. I am, my fiancee is saying "Why did you have to start something??" etc. So I pay the bill and I'm just waiting for the receipt. Like we're waiting 10 minutes here, what the hell is going on? Tensions are rising, her dad is waiting outside, just building up steam and ready to blow once we get out there. I ask the waiter, "Can I just get our bill and go?" "Oh no sir, you have to wait for the manager".
Turns out they have a contest running where "every bill is a winner". Normally you'll win a free drink, or appetizer with your next meal. Well we won the GRAND PRIZE, a trip for 4 to Florida.
Whoever pays gets the prize. WELL GUESS WHAT? I PAID BECAUSE YOU STORMED OUT LIKE A JERK. KARMA'S A WITCH.
[deleted]
7. I was merging on the highway yesterday and this person in a bright green Porsche cuts me off and wouldn't let me in. I almost got into an accident, but luckily nobody was merging behind me, so I managed to merge onto the highway going 20 miles per hour.
He zipped ahead going about 90-95
About 30 minutes later, I slow down because I see a state trooper pulled someone over. I noticed it was a bright green Porsche. Suck it.
8. Negative experience: Well, it wasn't negative for me.....
I was coming on to a freeway with my big rig, signalling and smoothly switching lanes while keeping half an eye on a car behind me that had been crowding me pretty hard. It was raining. As soon as he hit the merge ramp that he happened to be following me up, he gunned it in an attempt to pass me -- cutting into the no-drive zone (clearly marked as such. It's called the "gore point", btw. Trivia). Problem being: My cab is 60' ahead of him. I'm already legally merging, and 50% of my whole rig already occupies the lane he wants. I guess if you have your head in your ass, it's easy to assume that the truck in front of you consists of nothing more than just the final 10' of the trailer. I don't know why, but this dude (and it's almost always a dude that does this) FLIPS OUT.
He screeches so hard back into his lane that I (Continued)
Continue reading on the next page!
8. (Continued) He screeches so hard back into his lane that I can literally feel the road tremble. He's blaring his horn, flashing his lights -- and I'm just cruising, calm as anything. I watch traffic in my drive-side mirror and when I see a break, I suspect what's coming.... Yep. He jerks in to the left lane, floors it, gets beside my cab honking the whole way. He serves at me (It's wet out, I do not react. Too dangerous.) and then cuts me off. Meh; expected. Here's the delicious surprise: He jerks into place in front of me, jams his brakes and just totally loses control of his vehicle. It is suddenly sideways at 45mph. I'm nowhere near him, having already slowed. As I watch, his car continues to spin until it's facing me, then it whips back forward while heading straight into the ditch, where it plows earth like a farm tool. In front of all of us there on the freeway. I'm stopped, the left lane has stopped and we're just watching as this guy slowly gets out of his car, which looks pretty damaged -- or at least really stuck. I see that other drivers are getting out to render aid, and some are on their phones.... So I just gear up outta there nice and calm. Insta-karma. Felt awesome.
9. A few years ago, my infant son couldn't sleep, so we walked out to my local supermarket to get some basics and blow off steam. I look terrible: Sleep deprived, grumpy, disheveled and bedraggled. Yes, just like any other new parent. My son was in a sling on my belly. I don't remember what I was purchasing, but as I was checking out, the woman behind me stepped forward and said: "Please let me pay for this. I've always wanted to help out like this." Now, I was actually pretty well off, despite my appearance -- but she wanted this, and I didn't have very much to buy so I graciously thanked her and walked out, both of us smiling. Was a beautiful night, my son was finally asleep so I just loitered and eventually noticed someone trying in vain to start a car. Yep -- it was the lovely young woman who "helped" me out. :) I'm a decent mechanic, happened to be toting a multi-tool around with me, and it was a fast and easy thing to get her running. Felt awesome.
10. A woman was 70 cents short on her purchase, so I let it go.
When counting her change I noticed a 1960 silver dime.
11. I still don't understand how it happened.
I go through periods of insomnia, and I have stayed up through countless nights over the years. One such night probably about 1.5 years ago, I went to 7-11 at like 6:30 a.m. for I don't remember what. On the way out I see this homeless guy called Joe. I've seen him around my city (Norfolk, VA) for years. Anyways, I see him and as usual he's asking for change. I don't mind helping this guy out, as he legitimately needs food. So I go back in and buy him 2 microwave 7-11 hamburgers, and heat them up. I give him the burgers and proceed to Tropical Smoothie which opens at 7 a.m. I park the car and open the door, look down and what do I see? A fresh $20 on the white line of the parking spot. Nice. So that's cool but then this is the really crazy part: I come back out of Tropical Smoothie and as I approach my car, what do I find? Another $20. In the exact same spot. I checked my pocket, the first one was still there. A glitch in the matrix?
12. I'm an old guy (46) and I use to buy newspapers
One day I paid for one, but took two papers (because I was sick of co-workers rifling through MY paper). As I walked off with both newspapers, I noticed that (Continued)
Continue reading on the next page!
12. (Continued) As I walked off with both newspapers, I noticed that my shirt tail got stuck in the newspaper box when it slammed shut. I had to put in another $0.25 to get my shirt out.
13. My brother and I were stuck in a friends house because they had a wild guard dog that broke its chain. My brother pushes me out, so I have to run to the gate as the dog chases me. I managed to escape and went home. My brother got home 30 minutes later and went to bed crying because I told my mum he was sleeping over and I ate his dinner.
14. In line at Wendy's and a gentleman realize he had misplaced his wallet. He ran to and from his car very flustered and jumped on the phone with his wife to have her look for it and drive to the Wendy's. While he wasn't paying attention I stepped in front of him and payed the $8 bucks for his food. We were both obviously on our lunch breaks and it was just a lame situation for the guy, so I felt bad, even though he drove a Lexus.
Guy insists that I don't, I said too late bro. Patted him on the shoulder and said pay it forward with a smile.
He approached my table and told me that was one of the nicest things he had ever witnessed, then he told me to come across the street after I get off of work the tailor/suit shop. So I paid 8 bucks for a guy's lunch and got a custom 800 dollar suit.
15. I was pulled over by police for speeding (2nd time in 30+ years driving). Before the officer got out of his car I made sure my window was rolled down, shut my truck off, turned on interior light (it was night time), and put both of my hands on the steering wheel. He told me how much he appreciated this and sent me on my way with a verbal warning to pay attention to speed limit.
16. I saw this lost dog sign in the neighborhood... the dog had a distinct face, so when I saw it, only a few blocks away, I picked it up and took it home... the whole famn damily was there, and they all cried and thanked me. The next week when I started a new year of high school, the husband/father was my english teacher. I didn't do zilch and made an A in that class.
[deleted]
17. Me, my brother, and our friend decided to be funny and get on an elevator ahead of our other friend so we could get to the hotel room first and lock our other friend out for pitz n giggles. We got trapped on the elevator for an hour and a half while our other friend that we ditched got to chill by the pool for that time. I guess we deserved it.
18. I work at a summer camp with several local kids and one day we took a field trip to the zoo. As we were getting ready to leave (Continued)
Continue reading on the next page!
a boy from a troubled family went through the gift shop and wanted a souvenir stuffed monkey. He had 5 quarters which was not nearly enough for this monkey (which for the record was incredibly overpriced anyway). He went to the checkout and the lady was unable to sell him the monkey for the mere $1.25. The boy, broken hearted walked out and boarded the bus. I felt the need to buy the monkey for him so I did, and I gave it to his mom to give to him when she picked him up. The boy and his mom are not very close for unknown reasons but I felt this token from her could help their relationship. The boy was ecstatic when he was presented the monkey. It's things like that why I work at the camp. Every kid deserves to be happy.
19. I found a purse left in a cart outside a store I used to work at, against policy I opened the purse and found a name and then contacted the lady, and it was her purse and she was frantic looking for it. So I waited at the store after hours for her to come by and get the purse, and she gave me an envelope, also to open when I got home, which turned out to be almost exactly how much I was short on rent. $120.
20. I used to be such a dick of a 6-year old.
One time I was on a bus with my older brother coming home from soccer practice. We were seated at the back right next to the big rear window. For some odd reason I thought it'd be funny to show traffic behind us all the angles of my middlefinger while staring at them with the most obnoxious facial expressions. I would wait until the bus got to a stop and proceed to do my thing when the bus shut it's door and accelerated away.
I was getting bored as most people would just ignore it and the reactions weren't as amusing. I decided my game needed more thrill. Instead of flipping off oncoming traffic my main target changed to pedestrians.
Here's where it goes wrong...
The bus got to a stop, picked up the waiting people and I had found my new target; a very buff man. As I hear my "cue" which was the noise of the doors closing I proceeded to up my game by showing him both of my fingers and sticking out my tongue. This guy however, built like an athlete, looking mad as heck, didn't think it was all that funny. He sprinted alongside the bus, matching it's speed for at least a block until the bus arrived at the next stop. The bus was not that packed but the people who were in it witnessed this big chunk of rage giving chase and getting on to the bus. I cowered behind my brother's back in tears who had until now been oblivious to my shenanigans.
Turned out the guy was pretty cool about it and just told me not to do it again. He even gave me a piece of bubblegum afterwards.
21. Adopting a greyhound. Wherever we go, dog people tell us how great we are for rescuing a greyhound.
Truth be told, we (Continued)
just got him because we heard they were lazy and we didn't want a hyper pup. Rescuing him was just a bonus.
22. One time when I was about 8, me and my older sister were fighting over a seat. This seat was godlike and was the softest and coldest in the summer heat. She won the arguement with brute force and sat down on it in victory. There was a wasp lodged into the cushions stinger exposed, right where she sat. She is allergic and was crying the whole day.
23. I was a $10/hr. employee at a ski resort, found a wallet with $500 in it which I turned in. Later I was called to the office to meet the man who owned the wallet. He gave me $100 as reward.
[deleted]
24. Back in high school I was a cart boy for a grocery store, one afternoon it was really crappy out, pouring and windy as heck. This new black Escalade pulls up next to me while I'm pushing about 10 carts. The guy gets out and yells at me saying I better not scratch his truck because, "Heads will roll", I'm not in any way endangering his new car, but he proceeds to yell and warn me. Just as he finishes yelling at me, a sign from the Pizzeria next door crashes into the side of his truck. That made my night a little better, even if I was soaked.
25. One day Im walking out of a 7-11 after I just bought a double gulp and cookies (yes I was a little chunker) and put it in my backpack, just to realize that my bus is coming. So to get across the street I jaywalk through cars stopped at a red, only to get clapped by a Suburban.. So I fly a couple feet, roll on my back, land on my feet and run like hell to my bus stop. I jump on the bus only to remember that I ROLLED ON MY BACPACK.. when I open it up, the double gulp and cookies are there unharmed, calling my name.. This story isn't really an instant karma type but to heck with it, wanted to share.
26. Pulled into a parking lot to go pick up a little kitten we saw curled up on the ground. Immediately ran out of gas, If we hadn't pulled in there, we would have run out of gas in the middle of a busy, traffic-heavy road. Bonus: kitten!
[deleted]
27. My personal favorite is when a car comes speeding past you, but 30 seconds later, you meet them at the traffic lights. This never ceases to entertain me...
Love. Did it. A few times. Moving on.
Stay Still
Travel GIF by Grish MajethiyaGiphy"Jump off a moving train."
DenseDriver6477
"My dad used to jump on a train when he was little to go to school. He broke his nose like twice doing it. He also would not recommend."
Darphon
“vaportini”
"Smoke alcohol. Me and my friends bought something called a 'vaportini' in college where you could pour alcohol into a bulb and after low heat separated the alcohol from the liquid, you could inhale it thru the glass straw you inserted into the bulb. Basically you got drunk directly into your bloodstream/brain and it never hit your stomach."
"If you did too much, your body wouldn’t make you vomit or something, there wouldn’t be a simple self regulation/safety measure. You’d just get alcohol poisoning. Felt very dangerous, the drunk wasn’t a regular drunk feeling. We used it once and were like okay, never again. I’d be surprised if you could still buy it, although it would be incredibly easy to replicate at home."
michelangelho
It’s heartbreaking...
"Fall in love with a drug addict."
Rains_Lee
"Good call, don’t do it. The drugs will always come first. Can’t go out unless their 'ok' with how much drugs they have and money left over if any, cant make love unless they have their fix for the night and even still it never feels normal, can’t trust them after the lies to get drugs and the manipulation they put you through, and you can’t change them no matter how much you try and wish they would. It’s heartbreaking."
Cvilla411
More me time...
"Give up my life for work. F**k going the extra mile for a place that doesn't value you and pays you crap even though you go the extra mile for them. You have 1 life with only so much precious time to enjoy it and slaving away at some job is not worth it. Do what you can to reduce your workload and find better employment, or hell try to change the working conditions at your current job to improve things for everyone if you can."
Mrhappytrigers
Well Obvi...
"Donate a kidney."
ToffieMonster
"Well, you could donate the remaining one. You just won’t be around to say anything about it."
shavemejesus
This is definitely list I can relate to. No thank you on a lot of this!
I Quit
Smoke Smoking GIF by OriginalsGiphy"Smoke cigarettes, it's been two years since I quit."
SuvenPan
Forget It
"Climb mount Kilimanjaro. Toughest thing I've done and it's not worth it. I'm all about tough treks and camping but to put yourself under tough conditions and suspectable to altitude sickness only to get to the top for 10 minutes for a picture. No thank you."
Monks_
"I agree, it was memorable. Once was enough for my husband and I. Thankfully we stayed at American style hotel run by the US Navy with a hot tub and bar. Alcohol was definitely needed after all that."
Whatsherface112
I'm living alone!
"Sign a lease with a stranger without hanging out with them a few times beforehand. My past roommate experiences in college were terrible. Roommates either ignored me, hosted parties til 3 AM on weeknights, made the house the hangout and drug-den for them and their buddies. Meet up once and they'll put on an act for you. If you can, try to see how they act drunk or frustrated."
"Try to hang out with their buddies too so you can see the type of people who could be coming into your future place of residence. As soon as I can afford it, I'm living alone! Now, I investigate a potential roommate's social media and hang out at least twice before signing a lease with them."
fleursdefer
Stay Away
"Take back a cheater. Know your worth my brothers and sisters."
santichrist
"Ughhhhh going back and forth on this one. My boyfriend of 5 years has cheated on me. Several times, actually but says he’s really changed and is ready to settle down and wants me to move in with him. I’m on the fence. So they never change???"
madlecroy
Sleeptime
Tired Good Night GIF by HBO MaxGiphy"Take a laxative and sleeping pill at the same time."
karmaredemption
Once, twice, three times... I'm out. Bye.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
I say I'd be ok with it, but I'm remembering my last relationship and I feel like I'm not a "put my $ where my mouth is type" on this issue.
Bye
Jimmy Fallon Reaction GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy FallonGiphy"Wish her well and spend the next 2 years getting myself back to a place where I am ready to get hurt again."
wickedblight
It's Time to Roll On...
"Personally I would leave them."
"I think they're the ones leaving you. I don't think the relationship changes at that point; I think it ends. If you have a monogamous relationship, they are telling you they want to end that. They might be suggesting starting a new, non-monogamous relationship, but that is a separate thing. The original relationship is over."
octopoddle
ethical non-monogamy...
"OP, it's no different than anything else they want: you either agree and stay together, disagree but stay together, disagree and break up, or even agree and break up. What you're talking about is called 'ethical non-monogamy.'" The seminal book to read is called The Ethical Sl*t."
"It basically boils down to be whatever you want, just don't lie about it. The tricky thing is that this is something that was not present before, but is present now. So it's a potential fork in your road. If you're against it, it's up to your SO to decide if sex with other people is more important to them than a life with you."
Tokugawa
a different story...
"I think it depends too how intently they're interested. If it's a thing they bring up because they're curious but it's not a dealbreaker for them, I'm fine with that even if I don't want to proceed. A solid relationship involves open communication, and it'd make me happy if my partner trusted us and our bond enough to voice that curiosity with me."
"If it's something their heart's absolutely set on, then it's a different story. Either way, it's kind of strange to me how these posts always assume simply asking your partner how they feel about opening the relationship means they're now wholey invested in the poly lifestyle and they'll resent you or cheat if you say no."
donkeynique
Others
Sexy Jessica Alba GIFGiphy"Happy that we have common interest, sad that it's different 'other people."
i_lick_icicles
Sex is always an issue. Remember when it was just fun?
Mine
angry youre mine GIF by Team CocoGiphy"Leave her. I’m far too possessive and jealous to be able to mentally accept polyamory. If she has a desire to be with other people I’m not going to stand in her way but I’m not going to be there when she gets home either."
Thiek
Not Me...
"Break up. My parents were poly and it's just not for me. I've been honest with every relationship I've been in that I'm not interested in any type of open relationship. If they want to be with someone else that's fine but we'll be over. My husband is aware of this and on board (and has been for over twenty years!). So if he came to me with this yes I would be heartbroken but I'm not willing to budge on this and it would be the end of our relationship."
GoldDustWitchQueen
Let's Talk
"Counseling time! We're married. I'm chronically ill (stage 4 breast cancer) and have no libido. We try to make intimacy work, and obviously in that case it wouldn't be working. So. Time for a pro to sort out the marriage, and possibly a sex therapist for me."
insertcaffeine
Awkward Positions
"I’ll put myself hypothetically in this position. My partner and I only want each other. We’ve made this abundantly clear to each other. However, if she came to me with desire to open our bedroom and she wanted to sleep with people outside our marriage."
"I would simply express how I vehemently do not an open bedroom and that it would kill any desire I have to want her, be with her, love her, etc. Our couple dynamic has been working well through our ups and downs. Involving some stranger in the ONE thing I find most sacred with my partner is the best way for me to lose any interest or passion for the relationship."
RedFlaim
Farewell
Love You Goodbye GIF by truTV’s At Home with Amy SedarisGiphy"Break it off, because they definitely already have someone in mind and you telling them no won't change the fact that they were only one step away from following through with it."
Caressticles
Well it feels like a lot of people still believe in one partner, happily ever after. Good for y'all. But big props to these couples who have open and honest conversations about their wants and needs.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Redditor take_me_there_ asked:
"What WOULD you wish on your worst enemy?"
This One Would Hurt
"A conscience. Let her realize the horrific things she’s done."
- Jenny010137
"Seriously. Introspection, self awareness, and empathy are traits that would improve a lot of sh*tty people."
- el_muerte17
"Oh I wish I had thought of this one. If my enemy had a conscience, wow life would be much different."
- Shelbysouth43
No Pearly Whites For You
"I’d like all their teeth to turn really yellow and stay yellow no matter what they do."
- toothfixingfiend
"What did I ever do to you?"
- Spideredd
"I don't even know you! Give me back my enamel!"
- AngryMustache9
Everything You Own Is Orange Now
Snl Cheetos GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"Permanent Cheeto fingers. Just orange cheese dust getting on everything."
- cocoapuff1721
"This has to be one of the most evil things I ever heard, yet absolutely hilarious."
-Merk0411
"The Midas Touch: Snack Edition"
- MaryVenetia
Ouch, But Forever
"Stubbing and breaking their toe and right as it’s about to be done healing it happens again over and over for the rest of their pitiful time on this hell we call earth."
- No-Bee-2971
"Sisyphoot"
- Alpha_6
"More of a Toemetheus imo"
- PykeTheDrowned
Self Reflection
"For them to realize how big of an a-hole they are."
- mayhemanaged
"Same for me. The trouble is mine probably knows what a tremendous a-hole he is, and just doesn't care (it's what defines him, is his outlook more than likely), so, give mine a conscience as well, he undeniably lacks one."
- RhoadsOfRock
"a crushing moment of self realization is something that can destroy you mentally. I wish that on them."
- chancetodream
Bury Them Under A Mountain Of Minor Inconveniences
"Always being hungry two hours after eating no matter how large the meal. Slow internet. Traffic jams no matter the location. Self doubt. Allergies. Favorite shows spoiled."
"Nothing major enough to be life altering but constant, low grade inconveniences that wear on your soul every day."
- I_Love_Small_Br**sts
"Every bite of food they eat/drink they drink being slightly the wrong temperature."
"Coffee? Warm but not hot. Cola? Cool, but not cold. Muffin? Ever so slightly frozen."
"Not enough to ruin their life, but just enough to not quite have full enjoyment of anything.."
- HappiHappiHappi
They'll Never Be Able To Use Their Computer Again
"Quick scan with McAfee on their computer."
- halflife_3
"You f**king monster."
- Orion_2kTC
"The constant pop-ups from McAfee is too far."
- _Land_Rover_Series_3
That's A New Level Of Evil
"Bed bugs."
- thrawn1825
"Currently dealing with bed bugs, and I can absolutely confirm this is the kind of thing I would wish upon my worst enemy. It is miserable and painful, and I've tried everything to get rid of them at this point."
"I would easily wish this upon my worst enemy, x10."
- ArbitrarilyStagnant
"Oh hell no, you went there... Hopefully they aren't living in an apartment complex or you've cursed everyone in the building."
- expect_less
Well of course I know him. He’s me.
Animated GIFGiphy"$100,000. I sure could use it."
- Sparklesperson
"'It’s no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy'"
- FishyVonFishenHymer
"Lol I thought this was that deep sh*t like 'pray for those you resent to have all the things you want in life….' Then I realized."
- No-Chipmunk9527
Forever Constipated
the powerpuff girls bubbles GIFGiphy"That they can never have a satisfying poop. They always feel like they have to go to the bathroom and when they do nothing comes."
- [User Deleted]
"Wow. That's evil. Always feeling the need to pee would be good (as in horrific) too."
- ipakookapi
We definitely don't recommend implementing any of these plans (not that most would actually be possible), but here's some new ideas for the next time you're stuck in a meeting with your most annoying coworker and need a little fantastical escape.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
New clothes. I had so many hand me downs and thrift store clothes... new seemed like a dream.
Anxiety
Nervous Anxiety GIF by blackbearGiphy"After growing up in a home where every unexpected problem was a financial emergency, my idea of wealthy became 'I just want enough money that if something breaks I don't get anxiety about how to deal with it.'"
Obiwan_ca_bl**me
Literature
"Getting to buy something from the scholastic book fair."
Rich*itch3232
"My school, at the end of it a bunch of books were 'donated' and then spread out on a table in the library. We all got to go pick one book. So even if kids didn’t get to purchase a book, in the end they had a chance to still get a book. It’s actually how I got my first Harry Potter book. Was a cool idea for any school staff or parents active in their kids’ schools."
glass_pillow
Christmas
"Getting new clothes at Christmas from relatives. I don't know if that is exactly a luxury or the kind of answer you are looking for, but we never had a lot of money when I was in middle school. I went an entire year wearing the same pants everyday. The funny thing was my parents didn't even buy them for me."
"I got them for Christmas from my Grandparents. All the kids use to give me so much sh*t for wearing the same pants everyday. I always told them that I had 5 of the same pair which made me feel good inside and kind of made them ease off even though I know they didn't believe me."
"I remember I fell on the school bus one day and the jagged floor cut a hole right in the knee cap and the panic that went over me was just insane. It was one of the worst feelings of my whole life because I knew that I didn't have any other pants to wear and that now all of the kids in my school were going to know that I only had 1 pair. Needless to say I could not wait for the last month of school to end."
themagicman_1231
I'm Away
"Summer camp, or basically any school trips that had to be paid for. At my school the kids who couldn't afford to go on trips that happened during school hours still had to come to the school, we just sat in a room and did extra work like it was detention."
Helpful_Yams
"I was lucky. If you taught at the day camp your kid could go for free. That was just day camp though not sleepaway camp. My mom found a camp teacher who had no kids of his own and he signed me up as his kid so I could get free day camp. Did that all through elementary school."
randtcouple
Big Deals
Pizza Pizza Pizza Dancing GIF by Domino’s UK and ROIGiphy"Going out for pizza was a big deal. Those free mini pizzas for reading books were huge."
Shroom4Yoshi
Food is always an issue when you're broke.
Damage
Summer Ac GIF by MashableGiphy"Being able to turn on the heat in the cold and pay a professional to fix damaged appliances, plumbing, and other issues."
Liggettef
Spoiled
"When my grandma would come pick me up and spoil me. My parents didn't have much money and were addicts so when my grandma would come get me I would come back with new clothes, video games, toys, etc. I used to think my grandma was rich but she actually just had a stable income."
nawlepen
"I was in this position when I was younger. I always thought my grandma had SO much money… but all she did was go to work everyday. Always made sure I had clothes and all my school supplies. I miss her pretty bad."
Keywork29
Water
"I am from a small island in the Pacific. While I mostly still take cold showers, I have always felt that a hot shower is the finest luxury one can experience. I had my first hot shower when I was 22 years old and I can never forget it."
FSMPIO
"This is the kind of luxury I think people take for granted, I always avoided showers in the winter as a kid since most of the time they where cold showers and the temperature here was around 12c° during those times."
PowerfullDio
Showerware
"Towels. Honestly, I was almost 10 When I realized people didn’t just put back on their dirty clothes after a shower because my family was so large (12 kids total including myself) and extremely poor. I thought towels were just for hotels or were maybe a prop on television. I went to a friends house and she asked for my help folding her towels. I remember laughing and thinking she must be rich."
"Long story short, I wasn’t sure which way to fold the towels, and begged my mom to buy them after I revealed that my friend, Simone, had them. She bought a box of used ones from a local auction and I walked around with them on my head feeling like a frigging empress after that, even though—-let’s be clear… these were second hand towels!"
shakezula1025
Or BK...
ronald mcdonald yes GIF by McDonald's CZ/SKGiphy"Grew up poor and when I was a kid I used to think you were rich if you had a dishwasher and a millionaire if you had one of those refrigerators that have a button for ice. McDonalds was also a luxury, a couple times a year on our birthdays."
chinderellab*tch
Everyone should have access to all of these things. Why is life unfair?
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.