Sometimes, life is just too sweet.
1. Stuck in bumper to bumper traffic on the highway. Slow as hell. Some older lady in a BMW is driving like a total jerk. Trying to weave through traffic, cutting people off, driving down the shoulder and cutting back in. Just being super rude.
Finally she decides she's had enough and speeds off down the shoulder and then tries to cut over a median onto the feeder road. Unfortunately for her, the median is just a bit too high and she high-centers herself in glorious fashion and got completely stuck.
And we all got to drive slowly by and smugly stare at her as she stood next her car on her cell phone calling for help.
It was great.
2. My ex and I got into a fight and when I drove off he jumped into my window hanging off the side while I was driving. He lost his grip and I ran over him.
3. A group of ladies I was waiting on at a restaurant were being total turds. They ate all of their appetizer and told me it "Tasted like kaka/was effing nasty" (all of this said in front of their four year old that was climbing over the back of their booth). I didn't give it to them for free, so when they left they dumped their leftover drinks and salsa and stuff all over the table. I didn't catch them doing this, but before I noticed I saw one come back in and pick her phone up off the table.
So she dumped water, margarita, and salsa all over her phone. One that didn't have a waterproof case. That felt good.
4. Outside a venue at a concert, two big tuff guys in a truck were slowly rolling along, obviously bothering two female acquaintances of mine. Finally one of the girls stuck up for the other one and told the dude to piss off. By this point there was a bit of an audience, so truckbro yells something about us guys out there at the show needing to "leash your ladies" (but he used a very rude term instead of ladies), then peeled out toward a four way stop.
Four way stop turned red and they waited. Which was enough time for a very scary dude (and a friend of the girls I found out later) to sprint out of the crowd and after the truck. He reached them at the light, stepped up to the driver side window, leaned in, undid the dude's seatbelt, and ripped him entirely back out the window.
Scary dude proceeded to choke him out and explain to him why it was happening, while truckbro two had to stop the truck from listing out into the intersection. He then got out and whined and orbited, threatening to call the cops over and over.
He let the dudes go, and they got back in their truck, peeled out again, and left.
5. One time I was driving home from work at night during a bad snow storm and these douche holes behind me in a big truck where tailgating me with their high beams on. I just tried to ignore them and focus on driving but... (Continued)
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5. (Continued) I just tried to ignore them and focus on driving, but then they pass me and start flooring it as we're approaching a 4 way intersection. They managed to cut in front of me just in time to make the turn. (Well, sort of) so we're both turning left, and they floor it out of the intersection and lose control, almost take out a fence and mailbox on the right side of the road, spin across the street off the left shoulder, through the ditch and back onto the road again.
They finally managed to stop but were sideways across both lanes in front of me. So I just lay on my horn, until they finally move. Then as they're pulling away they decide to floor it again. At this point, I was right near my house, so I didn't get to see if they crashed, but I like to think they did.
6. Was out for dinner with my then-fiancee (now wife) and her dad, my (now) father-in-law. He's a bit of a dick to her, he got divorced and re-married, loves those kids more than my wife, gives her crap over too many things, etc. etc.
So we're at the end of dinner, father-in-law offers to pay for the meal. OK, that's nice. My wife asks to get her leftovers boxed and she'll take them home. He starts with "well, you'll just leave them in the fridge, then they'll just get thrown out, blah blah". I tell him "Listen, it's not your fridge, leave her alone". (She and I live together at this point).
He gets all mad, "Don't tell me how to raise my daughter!"
I reply "Then don't speak to my fiancee that way!"
He literally throws the bill & folder thing at me and says "FINE! YOU EFFING PAY THEN" and storms out.
OK, now everyone is pissed. I am, my fiancee is saying "Why did you have to start something??" etc. So I pay the bill and I'm just waiting for the receipt. Like we're waiting 10 minutes here, what the hell is going on? Tensions are rising, her dad is waiting outside, just building up steam and ready to blow once we get out there. I ask the waiter, "Can I just get our bill and go?" "Oh no sir, you have to wait for the manager".
Turns out they have a contest running where "every bill is a winner". Normally you'll win a free drink, or appetizer with your next meal. Well we won the GRAND PRIZE, a trip for 4 to Florida.
Whoever pays gets the prize. WELL GUESS WHAT? I PAID BECAUSE YOU STORMED OUT LIKE A JERK. KARMA'S A WITCH.
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7. I was merging on the highway yesterday and this person in a bright green Porsche cuts me off and wouldn't let me in. I almost got into an accident, but luckily nobody was merging behind me, so I managed to merge onto the highway going 20 miles per hour.
He zipped ahead going about 90-95
About 30 minutes later, I slow down because I see a state trooper pulled someone over. I noticed it was a bright green Porsche. Suck it.
8. Negative experience: Well, it wasn't negative for me.....
I was coming on to a freeway with my big rig, signalling and smoothly switching lanes while keeping half an eye on a car behind me that had been crowding me pretty hard. It was raining. As soon as he hit the merge ramp that he happened to be following me up, he gunned it in an attempt to pass me -- cutting into the no-drive zone (clearly marked as such. It's called the "gore point", btw. Trivia). Problem being: My cab is 60' ahead of him. I'm already legally merging, and 50% of my whole rig already occupies the lane he wants. I guess if you have your head in your ass, it's easy to assume that the truck in front of you consists of nothing more than just the final 10' of the trailer. I don't know why, but this dude (and it's almost always a dude that does this) FLIPS OUT.
He screeches so hard back into his lane that I (Continued)
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8. (Continued) He screeches so hard back into his lane that I can literally feel the road tremble. He's blaring his horn, flashing his lights -- and I'm just cruising, calm as anything. I watch traffic in my drive-side mirror and when I see a break, I suspect what's coming.... Yep. He jerks in to the left lane, floors it, gets beside my cab honking the whole way. He serves at me (It's wet out, I do not react. Too dangerous.) and then cuts me off. Meh; expected. Here's the delicious surprise: He jerks into place in front of me, jams his brakes and just totally loses control of his vehicle. It is suddenly sideways at 45mph. I'm nowhere near him, having already slowed. As I watch, his car continues to spin until it's facing me, then it whips back forward while heading straight into the ditch, where it plows earth like a farm tool. In front of all of us there on the freeway. I'm stopped, the left lane has stopped and we're just watching as this guy slowly gets out of his car, which looks pretty damaged -- or at least really stuck. I see that other drivers are getting out to render aid, and some are on their phones.... So I just gear up outta there nice and calm. Insta-karma. Felt awesome.
9. A few years ago, my infant son couldn't sleep, so we walked out to my local supermarket to get some basics and blow off steam. I look terrible: Sleep deprived, grumpy, disheveled and bedraggled. Yes, just like any other new parent. My son was in a sling on my belly. I don't remember what I was purchasing, but as I was checking out, the woman behind me stepped forward and said: "Please let me pay for this. I've always wanted to help out like this." Now, I was actually pretty well off, despite my appearance -- but she wanted this, and I didn't have very much to buy so I graciously thanked her and walked out, both of us smiling. Was a beautiful night, my son was finally asleep so I just loitered and eventually noticed someone trying in vain to start a car. Yep -- it was the lovely young woman who "helped" me out. :) I'm a decent mechanic, happened to be toting a multi-tool around with me, and it was a fast and easy thing to get her running. Felt awesome.
10. A woman was 70 cents short on her purchase, so I let it go.
When counting her change I noticed a 1960 silver dime.
11. I still don't understand how it happened.
I go through periods of insomnia, and I have stayed up through countless nights over the years. One such night probably about 1.5 years ago, I went to 7-11 at like 6:30 a.m. for I don't remember what. On the way out I see this homeless guy called Joe. I've seen him around my city (Norfolk, VA) for years. Anyways, I see him and as usual he's asking for change. I don't mind helping this guy out, as he legitimately needs food. So I go back in and buy him 2 microwave 7-11 hamburgers, and heat them up. I give him the burgers and proceed to Tropical Smoothie which opens at 7 a.m. I park the car and open the door, look down and what do I see? A fresh $20 on the white line of the parking spot. Nice. So that's cool but then this is the really crazy part: I come back out of Tropical Smoothie and as I approach my car, what do I find? Another $20. In the exact same spot. I checked my pocket, the first one was still there. A glitch in the matrix?
12. I'm an old guy (46) and I use to buy newspapers
One day I paid for one, but took two papers (because I was sick of co-workers rifling through MY paper). As I walked off with both newspapers, I noticed that (Continued)
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12. (Continued) As I walked off with both newspapers, I noticed that my shirt tail got stuck in the newspaper box when it slammed shut. I had to put in another $0.25 to get my shirt out.
13. My brother and I were stuck in a friends house because they had a wild guard dog that broke its chain. My brother pushes me out, so I have to run to the gate as the dog chases me. I managed to escape and went home. My brother got home 30 minutes later and went to bed crying because I told my mum he was sleeping over and I ate his dinner.
14. In line at Wendy's and a gentleman realize he had misplaced his wallet. He ran to and from his car very flustered and jumped on the phone with his wife to have her look for it and drive to the Wendy's. While he wasn't paying attention I stepped in front of him and payed the $8 bucks for his food. We were both obviously on our lunch breaks and it was just a lame situation for the guy, so I felt bad, even though he drove a Lexus.
Guy insists that I don't, I said too late bro. Patted him on the shoulder and said pay it forward with a smile.
He approached my table and told me that was one of the nicest things he had ever witnessed, then he told me to come across the street after I get off of work the tailor/suit shop. So I paid 8 bucks for a guy's lunch and got a custom 800 dollar suit.
15. I was pulled over by police for speeding (2nd time in 30+ years driving). Before the officer got out of his car I made sure my window was rolled down, shut my truck off, turned on interior light (it was night time), and put both of my hands on the steering wheel. He told me how much he appreciated this and sent me on my way with a verbal warning to pay attention to speed limit.
16. I saw this lost dog sign in the neighborhood... the dog had a distinct face, so when I saw it, only a few blocks away, I picked it up and took it home... the whole famn damily was there, and they all cried and thanked me. The next week when I started a new year of high school, the husband/father was my english teacher. I didn't do zilch and made an A in that class.
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17. Me, my brother, and our friend decided to be funny and get on an elevator ahead of our other friend so we could get to the hotel room first and lock our other friend out for pitz n giggles. We got trapped on the elevator for an hour and a half while our other friend that we ditched got to chill by the pool for that time. I guess we deserved it.
18. I work at a summer camp with several local kids and one day we took a field trip to the zoo. As we were getting ready to leave (Continued)
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a boy from a troubled family went through the gift shop and wanted a souvenir stuffed monkey. He had 5 quarters which was not nearly enough for this monkey (which for the record was incredibly overpriced anyway). He went to the checkout and the lady was unable to sell him the monkey for the mere $1.25. The boy, broken hearted walked out and boarded the bus. I felt the need to buy the monkey for him so I did, and I gave it to his mom to give to him when she picked him up. The boy and his mom are not very close for unknown reasons but I felt this token from her could help their relationship. The boy was ecstatic when he was presented the monkey. It's things like that why I work at the camp. Every kid deserves to be happy.
19. I found a purse left in a cart outside a store I used to work at, against policy I opened the purse and found a name and then contacted the lady, and it was her purse and she was frantic looking for it. So I waited at the store after hours for her to come by and get the purse, and she gave me an envelope, also to open when I got home, which turned out to be almost exactly how much I was short on rent. $120.
20. I used to be such a dick of a 6-year old.
One time I was on a bus with my older brother coming home from soccer practice. We were seated at the back right next to the big rear window. For some odd reason I thought it'd be funny to show traffic behind us all the angles of my middlefinger while staring at them with the most obnoxious facial expressions. I would wait until the bus got to a stop and proceed to do my thing when the bus shut it's door and accelerated away.
I was getting bored as most people would just ignore it and the reactions weren't as amusing. I decided my game needed more thrill. Instead of flipping off oncoming traffic my main target changed to pedestrians.
Here's where it goes wrong...
The bus got to a stop, picked up the waiting people and I had found my new target; a very buff man. As I hear my "cue" which was the noise of the doors closing I proceeded to up my game by showing him both of my fingers and sticking out my tongue. This guy however, built like an athlete, looking mad as heck, didn't think it was all that funny. He sprinted alongside the bus, matching it's speed for at least a block until the bus arrived at the next stop. The bus was not that packed but the people who were in it witnessed this big chunk of rage giving chase and getting on to the bus. I cowered behind my brother's back in tears who had until now been oblivious to my shenanigans.
Turned out the guy was pretty cool about it and just told me not to do it again. He even gave me a piece of bubblegum afterwards.
21. Adopting a greyhound. Wherever we go, dog people tell us how great we are for rescuing a greyhound.
Truth be told, we (Continued)
just got him because we heard they were lazy and we didn't want a hyper pup. Rescuing him was just a bonus.
22. One time when I was about 8, me and my older sister were fighting over a seat. This seat was godlike and was the softest and coldest in the summer heat. She won the arguement with brute force and sat down on it in victory. There was a wasp lodged into the cushions stinger exposed, right where she sat. She is allergic and was crying the whole day.
23. I was a $10/hr. employee at a ski resort, found a wallet with $500 in it which I turned in. Later I was called to the office to meet the man who owned the wallet. He gave me $100 as reward.
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24. Back in high school I was a cart boy for a grocery store, one afternoon it was really crappy out, pouring and windy as heck. This new black Escalade pulls up next to me while I'm pushing about 10 carts. The guy gets out and yells at me saying I better not scratch his truck because, "Heads will roll", I'm not in any way endangering his new car, but he proceeds to yell and warn me. Just as he finishes yelling at me, a sign from the Pizzeria next door crashes into the side of his truck. That made my night a little better, even if I was soaked.
25. One day Im walking out of a 7-11 after I just bought a double gulp and cookies (yes I was a little chunker) and put it in my backpack, just to realize that my bus is coming. So to get across the street I jaywalk through cars stopped at a red, only to get clapped by a Suburban.. So I fly a couple feet, roll on my back, land on my feet and run like hell to my bus stop. I jump on the bus only to remember that I ROLLED ON MY BACPACK.. when I open it up, the double gulp and cookies are there unharmed, calling my name.. This story isn't really an instant karma type but to heck with it, wanted to share.
26. Pulled into a parking lot to go pick up a little kitten we saw curled up on the ground. Immediately ran out of gas, If we hadn't pulled in there, we would have run out of gas in the middle of a busy, traffic-heavy road. Bonus: kitten!
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27. My personal favorite is when a car comes speeding past you, but 30 seconds later, you meet them at the traffic lights. This never ceases to entertain me...
Redditor Infinite_Werewolf395 wanted to hear about how things can change over the course of a decade when it comes to sexy time, so they asked:
"What is the biggest difference between sex in your 20s and sex in your 30s?"
I guess I was maybe little more confident in my 30s.
That was a plus.
Never Settle
"I gained the confidence to ask for what I actually want and say what feels good to me and what doesn't. Too many people just go with what they usually do in the sack, instead of talking about what each individual actually enjoys."
"Basically, I no longer settle for bad sex."
mynamecouldbesam
Continue
"20s: It didn't really take a lot to get me going, just 1. being in my bed, and 2. being mostly nude was enough."
"30s: I really need them to be into it, too. Like... if they act like they're only doing this to make me happy, I pick up on it and I just can't continue. I also need them to like, show some interest in me too, or it takes some monumental effort to be in the mood. I'm more particular, and more aware of what the other party is doing and how they're reacting, etc."
We1tfunk
Real Struggle
"The amount of time you have available."
frenix5
"Not necessarily. In general, life just gets busy. My husband and I are in our 30s with no kids and still find this a struggle. Life just gets busier the older you get. We have to work hard on prioritizing our relationship."
TheSilentBaker
"There’s a hell of a lot more planning involved. Gotta schedule that crap out in advance."
KosstAmojan
Learning
"I'm 35 dating a 27 yr old. I tried the pills and all kinds of different things. Eventually, we had this one time where I was really Into it (never happens anymore really. Can't keep it up so it's hard to comply when it's initiated cause I know it'll just end in disappointment for both of us) and It was the best sex we'd had in years."
"I'm still not sure what factors were different that day but I honestly think it was probably mostly emotional reinforcement. Usually, she just starts grabbing at me and there's no romance so it's hard to get... hard. I think that day we actually did some foreplay. Anyways this has really helped me a lot reading all the responses. I figured I was just freakin' cursed. Never got much action in my prime."
"It just seemed appropriate that when I was finally getting some my sh*t would stop working lol. Good to know that I'm not the only man who puts importance on the emotional component of sex. Thought that was my problem for a while too. Guess I just have emotional needs that aren't being met and it's bleeding into other facets of my life."
MurphNastyFlex
Still Hot
So Excited Reaction GIF by OriginalsGiphy"Sex in the 30s are about a million times better. Still very very horny but also experienced, skills, more willing to try things."
probablyurprofessor
I didn't find this to be true.
That's me though.
The Process
Bored Season 5 GIF by The OfficeGiphy"Sex got better. I finally figured out what my wife likes. Though a long tedious trial and error process."
SaiyanGodKing
Ruts
"Exploration is difficult once you’ve fallen into a rut. Routines become commonplace. I’m such a sub these days that I don’t mind bad sex for me as long as I can make my partner climax. It’s easy to tell with men, but with women partners I'm always afraid they’re faking or acting, so there definitely needs to be established trust first."
pissoff1818
Decades of Learning
"Teens: did it like a nympho, but sex was mediocre. 20's: did it like a nympho, sex was a little better. 30's: started figuring out what I wanted. Did it a little less, but better quality. 40's: best and most frequent sex yet. Hornier and more experimental now than ever before."
"(Edited to add: had kids in late 20's, early 30's. Kids consume so much time and energy. Kids are getting older now, so more time and energy for sex again. Honestly sex in 40's has been the freakiest, wildest, most fulfilling yet)."
ChristyCurious
Let's Sleep
"20s: sex?? Yeah!! I’ll have sex!"
"30s: sex? Hmmm okay but it’s already 8:30pm and so if we start now and stop by 9:30 we should still get a full nights sleep but also we could wait until Friday or Saturday night that might be better because if we are up too late it won’t really matter much the next day but sure yeah let’s do it! F**k it who cares wait what was that oh one of the kids is at the door."
Hopeful_Jello_7894
Perfection
"Oh man, it's so much better in my 30s than it's ever been. Multiple reasons but primarily finding a partner (my perfect wife) who has helped break down my walls through conversation and experimenting together. I feel so much less guilt about sex now and I can actually enjoy it. Not sure if it was being raised with Catholic guilt or my first gf being just the wrong partner but wow did I ever feel awful about anything sexual before."
Leebollomew
Learning and Growth
Think Winnie The Pooh GIFGiphy"I’ve got something I haven’t seen yet..."
"20s: As a dude, I’d sleep with almost any woman even if they were a horrible person or I hated their guts."
30: Anything considered a red flag or something I don’t want to deal with causes me to go limp and I lose all interest."
Slappyhandz
A decade can really change everything.
Farewell youth.
These were explored when Redditor Fronzie7 quoted a famous music icon to ask:
"Frank Sinatra said, 'The best revenge is massive success' What's a real-life example of this?"
Everyone loves a good Hollywood ending.
You Know You've Made It When You're On A Lunchbox
"Michael J.Fox has a great story about when he started out. Some big wheel at the network didn't like him for the role of Alex P. Keaton on Family Ties. He was too short, not cute, not heart throb enough, you're never going to see his face on a lunch box. But the producer cast him anyway and the show shot to number one and stayed there."
"Fox sent him a Family Ties lunch box with his face on it and then Back to the Future 1,2,3 lunch boxes."
– Hazelsmom64
A Rocky Start To An Amazing Career
"Sylvester Stallone as well. Casting agents told him he was too stupid looking and he'd only get small roles as the thug who got beaten up. He said he literally went to every casting agent in NYC and got rejected by all of them."
"Even after he wrote Rocky and found producers, they didn't want him to star in it."
– YounomsayinMawfk
The Dreamgirl Who Never Stopped Dreaming
"Jennifer Hudson lost American Idol and became more successful than the winner."
– Stashdragon
"She is a recent EGOT winner and the youngest woman to do it. 7th Place looks fantastic on her."
– jdmccoy
Against all odds, the end result was a victory for these accomplished individuals.
Home Surveillance Home Run
"The guy who invented Ring cameras went on Shark Tank and was rejected by everyone. They all thought it would fail….we’ll you know the rest."
– Ruzzthabus
"He went back on Shark Tank after that, but this time as one of the sharks."
– 1Land_1Keep
The Skies The Limit
"Ron McNair had the police called on him when he was little because he was black and reading in a library. He grew up to be an astronaut and the library he was kicked out of was later named after him."
– sperdush
"For those who may not be familiar with his name; he was one of the Challenger crew members on January 28, 1986."
– This-Marsupial-6187
Emerged From The Shallow
"When Lady GaGa was in college, some of her classmates had a Facebook group called 'Stefani Germanotta, you'll never be famous.'"
"Pretty sure she proved them wrong."
– NotHisRealName
Now these are smart business moves.
Recipe For Success
"Erin French, chef-owner of restaurant The Lost Kitchen in rural Maine."
"Co-owned a restaurant in the town of Belfast with her husband; a very tumultuous relationship ended with him changing the locks on the building with all of her equipment inside."
"She licked her wounds, leased space in an old mill building in her tiny hometown of Freedom, and built from the ground one of the best restaurants in the country, with a coveted reservation that is fabled for its difficulty to get a table. Has her own multi-season documentary on TV and is absolutely killing it in the culinary world now."
– Girhinomofe
A Toy Story
"George Lucas got the ownership of the toy rights to star wars because they don’t think it would be successful. He made an absolute killing on those."
– Birds-aint-real-
"Not just the toy rights, he got the entire IP in exchange for waiving is salary."
– xdert
Lamborghini Origin Story
"Italian industrialist, builder of tractors, made a mint out of it and rewarded himself with a new Ferrari."
"Ferrari broke down. Needed a new clutch. Wealthy industrialist waited patiently for his new clutch to arrive, and after many weeks it finally showed up - same clutch he was putting in his tractors, more than twice the price."
"A little bit annoyed at this, he rang Ferrari to complain. They told him 'go back to building tractors, leave supercars to us.'"
"And Lamborghini was born..."
– RaffiaWorkBase
Gaming Victory
"Sony and Nintendo were working on a console together before the N64 came out, intending to utilize Nintendo's gaming hardware combined with Sony's sound tech to create games with more immersive sound capabilities than have been seen before. Partway through development and immediately following Sony's announcement of their partnership, Nintendo backed out of the deal, which if you're not aware of Japanese business etiquette, is kind of a d*ck move."
"Nintendo backed out to work with Philips to put Nintendo games on the CDi, which resulted in the worst-received Nintendo games of all time."
"Sony, out of spite, went on to make the PlayStation, one of the best-selling consoles in gaming history, and cement themselves as a massive player in the console wars to this day."
– Critical-String8774
Be Kind And Rewind
"Blockbuster laughed baby Netflix out of the room with their idea. Then later, grown-up Netflix killed blockbuster."
– ChurroForSure-o
"Best thing for Netflix, really. Blockbuster would have driven themselves and the Netflix rent model out of business through mismanagement."
"I don't know about you, but I can't live in a world without Voltron: Legendary Defender."
– Tobias_Atwood
So what's the moral of the story?
Basically, always be kind and never make anyone feel less than they deserve. You never know what the future brings, and you putting down someone for your own fleeting gain will come back to haunt you.
Also, remember that karma works in mysterious ways.