The Quickest Ways Someone's Coworker Ever Got Fired
Reddit user mango-chocolate asked: 'What's the quickest way you saw a co-worker get fired?'
We've all made our fair share of mistakes; it's in our nature, honestly.
Sometimes we mess up so badly, it can ruin other things in our lives, like important relationships or our jobs.
But some people have messed up so badly at work that they lost their jobs in record time.
Ready to hear the tea, Redditor mango-chocolate asked:
"What's the quickest way you saw a coworker get fired?"
Check Your Pride
"In my old law office, a firm-wide email was sent out announcing the arrival of a new employee. We will call him Paul."
"So Paul decided to reply-all to let all of us know that he was aware of our recent legal defeats, that many people should be fired for these failures, and that his hiring was the first good thing our firm had done in years."
"The dude was a legal assistant right out of college with no experience."
"A minute after the email went out, I heard a crazy shout and then watched one of the senior partners run past my office towards HR (Human Resources)."
"And five minutes later Paul walked past with the HR manager and a security escort. He lasted less than 45 minutes."
- Left_Apparently
Lotto Fraud
"I worked at a lotteries company. A guy working in testing got access to production data and printed off some test tickets with some unclaimed winning numbers."
"He only did low amounts, like 500 dollars, and claimed three of them in three completely different locations around town."
"Of course, the company was interested in the story of someone who found a six-month-old lottery ticket and claimed it, but they were even more interested to find it was the same person going to three locations."
"Needless to say, when they realized the guy actually worked in the company, he got pulled into a room with cops a-waiting him."
- ThroughTheHoops
Weird Brag
"I worked at a bank, we were robbed at gunpoint. One of the tellers was quick to tweet out, 'Woooo, got the rest of the day off!! Feel free to visit me at work with a gun and ski mask anytime!'"
"They were fired upon walking in the next morning."
- seastrat
Totally Stopped Production
"An id**t pressed the emergency stop for fun on his second day at work."
"The emergency stop that he hit switches off all drives on the 100-meter-long paper machine. This means there is a loss of production for three to four hours for the entire paper mill."
"He was immediately escorted from the factory premises by two colleagues."
- daHawkGR
No Point Taking That Test
"I had a coworker get picked for a random drug test. She went back to her desk to grab her purse, and just left the building, never to return."
- brytewolf
Yes, That's What We Meant
"The boss sat her down to talk about her recent behavior at work."
"She whipped out her phone and started taking a video, saying that it was her right to record for 'when it goes to court.'"
"The boss said, 'Okay, this is the kind of stuff I’m talking about, you’re fired.'"
"This was at a Domino’s Pizza."
- kenb99
New Definition for "Side Hustle"
"Evidently, they robbed a bank on their lunch break."
"They came back like nothing happened, and then the cops showed up and took him down. It was crazy."
- Bob_the_Brewer
Quite the First Impression
"Pulling into the parking lot on the first day, she ran into a light pole that took out electricity to the whole site."
"She wasn't wearing a seat belt and was thrown into the front window."
"When we went out to see what had happened, she reeked of booze and there were empty liquor bottles in the back of the car."
"She never even made it to the front door, got a guest badge, or started her orientation training."
- LowBudgetViking
Haunting Upcharges
"When I was in high school, I used to do seasonal work at haunted houses which I did for four years."
"A new guy that they hired was supposed to help with parking. Now, in the three years that I worked at this haunted house, they never once charged people for parking (it was a very dark parking lot off of a cliff so had to make sure no one drove off of it trying to park)."
"This cheeky son of b***h started charging people five dollars to park."
"It was only found out after someone complained because they didn't have the money to go in with their friends because they had to pay for parking. I think the guy was only there a couple of hours before he got fired."
- rpgmomma8404
Missed the Training
"They got hired and then fell asleep during a meeting their first day and were asked not to come back."
- Snowstorm-3
"Same here. At a tech company, they hired a new developer, and the owner caught him napping at a desk on day one when he was supposed to be reviewing training materials."
"The owner had a chat with him, and told him whatever the reason, it was really bad form to fall asleep on the job on the first day."
"The new hire apologized, understood, and went back to the training materials. Not 20 minutes later, the owner walks by again and the guy is passed out once again, so he walked over, woke him up, and told him he was fired and to get out."
"I don't even think he made it to his fourth hour of employment."
- badtz-maru
Highly Questionable Explorations
"Early in my career I was an engineer at a refinery in the UK, and I was in charge of the QC lab. By law, we had to have external independent testing on the refinery fuel products to confirm they complied with government regulations."
"It seemed getting a job for the testing company was that you had to be an adult and had a driving license. The lab had a lot of very nasty chemicals either being tested or used in the testing or cleaning of the oil products."
"A new young girl turned up for the testing company and was dipping her finger into a chemical called phenol and stating that 'it makes your hand and arm go numb.' Phenol is a severe muscle relaxant (including your heart) and can kill you at very low concentrations."
"One hour into her employment we had paramedics on the scene monitoring her vitals and was released after eight hours. She didn't last the first hour of the first day and the testing company was fined pretty heavily."
- Nerdymcbutthead
AKA: Paid to Advertise
"A guy got hired in the first firm I ever worked for. He turned up for his first morning at work, and within an hour he had emailed the entire company (6,000 people) about his band and their availability for birthdays, weddings, etc."
"He was dismissed by lunchtime."
- BDATriangle001
"So he got paid half a day's wage to advertise his band to 6,000 people?"
"Man's a freaking genius."
- Oakcamp
Not-So-Quiet Quitting
"One day, Tim announced that he wasn’t paid enough and was going to basically sit at his desk doing nothing until he was paid what he wanted."
"20 minutes later, the boss walked in and asked Tim if he could have a word with him."
"Five minutes later, the boss walked back in and announced that Tim no longer worked there and if there were any questions."
"There were no questions."
- Few_Horse4000
Don't Be That Guy
"Interviewed a guy that was replacing someone who was leaving. Offered the job and was supposed to start the next day."
"Just so happened that we were having a going away party for the leaving dude that night so new guy was invited as a chance to 'get to know the team.'"
"The new guy shows up and proceeds to get absolutely s**t-faced and asked the head of HR if she wanted to go back to his place because he 'got a vibe' during the interview process."
"Next day, the new guy was a no-show so we were thinking bullet dodged. He showed up just before lunch clearly hung over making up some excuse for being late."
"The big boss came out and told the guy to get the f**k out."
- tizod
Optional Hours? Optional Employment.
"I fired someone who decided her second day that she was going to go out to lunch and not come back. The next morning she told everyone all about the shopping she did. She seemed confused about the expectations."
- dunwerking
Some of these stories are absolutely worth shaking our heads over, while others are truly shocking.
It's crazy the lengths people will go to in the workplace, despite the expectations that had already been clearly set.
If you view the rules as optional, your boss might view your employment as optional, too.
Clever Dog Tricks McDonald's Customers Into Feeding Her By Pretending To Be A Stray 😂
It's a dog eat dog world out there and sometimes a girl has to do what a girl has to do. At least that's what one dog owner realized when she caught her pooch trolling the streets looking for an easy meal.
Facebook user Betsy Reyes busted her dog Princess who was out moonlighting as a stray in order to play on the sympathies of strangers. It seems Princess likes to wander off to her favorite hangout, the local McDonald's, and work the drive through lane like a pro.
And that's what she did right up until Reyes busted her scam. Reyes, who lives in Oklahoma City, took to Facebook and outed Princess in the most hysterical way, saying:
"If you see my dog @ the McDonald's on shields, quit feeding her fat ass bc she don't know how to act & be leaving the house all the time to go walking to McDonald's at night. She's not even a stray dog. She's just a gold diggin ass bitch that be acting like she's a stray so people will feel bad for her & feed her burgers."
Lots of scammers out there.
It's an adorable story, but maybe get the dog a collar with identification?
Not everyone thought the story was cute.
Of course, when a girl's gotta eat, a girl's gotta eat.
Let's hope Princess has learned her lesson and stays home.
H/T: Huffington Post, Mashable
This Creepy Robot Phone Attachment Moves Just Like A Real Human Finger
Tapping on and swiping your mobile device just got a whole lot creepier thanks to an unnecessary invention. But there's clearly a market for these kinds of things, amirite?.
Introducing – MobiLimb, a finger-like attachment to your phone or tablet that aims to make your life easier and give you nightmares in the process.
The MobiLimb was created by researchers in France and is made up of "five servo motors, an Arduino microcontroller and a sensor, and it can do a number of unsettling things that are straight out of nightmares," according to Engadget.
Marc Teyssier, a PhD student and one of the researchers behind the project for the dismembered limb, legitimized its existence.
"In the spirit of human augmentation, which aims at overcoming human body limitations by using robotic devices, our approach aims at overcoming mobile device limitations (static, passive, motionless) by using a robotic limb."
Th MobiLimb can prop itself up so you can watch a video, or provide an alternate way to grip your device.
But there's one function that is really disturbing.
The articulated digit can be skinned to resemble a human finger, and it can stroke your wrist while you're using your phone.
Someone implied that single people could benefit from this invention as a companion.
What would the next-generation MobiLimb offer consumers?
The attachment could come in handy should an unfortunate life-changing incident were to occur.
But the gadget is still giving people goosebumps.
Others saw a more erotic potential.
Now here's a function not advertised by MobiLimb's creators.
Feelings are mixed. But the jury is in.
As to why such a creepy gadget was invented, we can't quite put our finger on it. But then, when it comes to consumers' needs, these guys may be out of touch.
Scotland Tackles Transphobia and Homophobia In Brilliant New Billboard Ads ❤️
The Scottish government has had enough of hate crimes and is moving forward with a gutsy campaign.
According to Pink News, Scotland is launching a new initiative to combat intolerance with messages respectively addressing "bigots," "disablists," "homophobes," "racists," and "transphobes" in a series of ads circulating across the country.
Each message is signed on behalf of Scotland.
The campaign is part of the Scottish government's One Scotland project in an effort to reduce hate crime.
One letter reads:
"Dear transphobes, do you think it's right to harass people in the street? Right to push transgender people around in clubs? Right to humiliate, intimidate and threaten them online? Well we don't."
"That's why if we see you doing harm, we're reporting you. We believe people should be allowed to be themselves. Except if they're spreading hate."
"Yours, Scotland."
In another letter, the country says it has a "phobia" of homophobic behavior.
"If you torment people because of who they love, shout word that we are not going to write, or use violence because you don't like who someone is holding hands with, you should be worried."
"If we see or hear your abuse, we're calling the police. That's because love lives in this country, not hate."
"Yours, Scotland."
One Scotland's website describes the organization as one that aims to continue building an inclusive society while recognizing the significant strides made so far towards equality.
"One Scotland embodies the inclusive society we want in Scotland, where equality and human rights are respected and every individual and minority group feels valued."
The website defines hate crimes as abuse that "can be verbal or physical and has hugely damaging effects on the victims, their families and communities, and we all must play our part to challenge it."
"Police Scotland takes hate crime very seriously. In the last year there were over 5,300 charges of hate crime reported to the Procurator Fiscal in Scotland1."
"However, there are many more incidents that go unreported. We all have a responsibility to report hate crime if we witness it – it's the only way we can challenge it, and put an end to it for good."
Justice minister Humza Yousaf is familiar with being a victim of a bigotry and is encouraging people to call out and report any incidents involving harassment.
"As somebody who has faced Islamaphobic and racial abuse over the years, I know how upsetting being a victim of hate can be. Hate crime and prejudice are completely unacceptable and we are absolutely committed to tackling it."
"We all have a role to play in stamping out prejudice and I would ask anyone who witnesses a hate crime to play their part and report it. Justice agencies such the police and Crown Office will deal sensitively with reports made and people should have confidence in how they will be treated. Last year there were over 5,300 charges of hate crime reported to the Procurator Fiscal in Scotland but there are still many incidents that are going unreported."
Henrietta Mochrie identifies as transgender and has been the victim of repeated harassment and abuse. She emphasized the importance of speaking out against the hatred.
"I'll often get street harassment, sometimes this has escalated to the point where I've been followed by people shouting abuse at me, just because of who I am."
"It makes me feel really down and scared to leave the house. It's important that if you witness hate crime that you report it to take a stand against hate."
One Scotland's ad campaign officially launched on Wednesday.
Hopefully, it won't take too long before other nations follow suit in this bold, yet necessary fight for equality.
H/T - OneScotland, PinkNews, Twitter
Feminists Slam Man Telling Them They Can't Have Both Chivalry And Equality
A man on Twitter informed feminists they had to choose between chivalry and equality.
He was promptly raked over the coals for even assuming an antiquated concept would be considered as a viable option.
Twitter user @Rich_Cooper stated:
"Dear feminists. You either get equality or chivalry. You can't have both."
One user responded:
"I'll take equality. I don't need special treatment."
Cooper's rhetorical question did not go over so well. Both women and men expressed their disdain for his message.
One male user observed that chivalry was irrelevant and treating everyone with kindness and respect was compulsory.
"What people care about is caring, empathic [sic], considerate, thoughtful people, NOT whether THEIR door is held for them or THEIR meal is paid for them."
"Are there gender stereotypes in het[erosexual] dating? Sure. But that's separate from being a warm, giving, caring, grounded person."
Some women got right down to the point.
The notion of chivalry and equality are mutually exclusive and not a lot of people thought it was a major priority for feminists.
Common courtesy is not chivalry.
This user pointed out the fact that chivalry stems from a history of men outdoing other men. The concept had very little to do with women.
"Chivalry is a medieval concept of men dressing to impress other men. It has little to do with equality."
"Some men were on top, other men were beneath them. Historically, women were rarely invited into the process."
Neil Bradley described the outdated concept of chivalry as one that implies men being superior to women in a September 8, 2017, article for Medium publications.
"Examples: opening the door for a woman, paying for a woman's meal, gesturing for a woman to go first. The justification is either that women are not physically as strong (to open the door), able to provide (pay for their own meal), or are more deserving of compassion than men (allowing women to go first)."
Bradley also added that he wants to treat others the way he wants to be treated and asked if that approach should be motivated by chivalry or equality.
"If the genders are to be considered equal and treated equally, how a man treats a woman will essentially be the same as how a man treats a man."
"The obligation to open the door, pay for the meal, and let women go first vanishes. Men do not do this to other men, therefore why do it for women?"
His final take was that the two concepts can't co-exist. Either one is chivalrous or treats everyone as equals.
At the end of the day, people were happy to show chivalry the door.
H/T - GettyImages, Twitter, Indy100, Medium




(
(
