Police Officers And Detectives Explain Their Creepiest Unsolved Mysteries Of All Time.

Police officers and detectives have it hard enough. If they're doing their job right, they are protective servants of each and every citizen that crosses their path. They're adding up pieces to a puzzle, plucking answers from what seems like thin air. Sometimes that job is rewarding, sometimes it can be draining, and sometimes it's downright freaky. Thanks to these detectives and police officers for sharing the stories that keep them up at night, staring at the ceiling and thinking, "Why did that happen?"
1. I'm a retired police officer, and the weirdest mystery that I ever encountered still haunts me to this day. There was a period of a couple weeks where people began calling in in sheer panic to tell us that they thought someone was caught under the sewer grate. The weirdest part? They would always say it sounded like someone singing an old love ballad. Sometimes a couple of people would contact us about the same sewer grate. Every time we would respond to the call, we would get there, open up the grate, and just as we cracked the lid off, the singing would stop. More than a couple of us officers said they thought they saw parts of a woman's body drifting away in the sewage below (eyes, flipping feet, long hair) but even after a long investigation, nothing was found. The frequency of the singing is far less frequent now, but people still say sometimes, and now that I'm retired I never have to deal with it, but I still hear from the crew that they get the occasional phone-in.
-[deleted]
2. I'm not a detective, but when I was an RA in a freshman dorm, there was a rash of poop-microwavings. Now, I don't know if you've ever smelled an area in which a turd has been microwaved, but if you ever do, it's not really something you can forget. It happened, I want to say, four times in a month or so. We never caught the culprit.
My theory?
It was one of the freshmen who lived in the dorm.
3. I do a lot of ride-alongs with police officers, and one time we got called to a gas station for a stabbing call. We arrive at the gas station and there is blood everywhere outside by the pumps. We go inside to talk to the manager and he said no one called, so we couldn't figure out what was going on. Another squad car stopped at the other gas station just to the north (both gas stations have the same name) and it was the same thing...blood everywhere by the pumps. So in the same night, we have two gas stations within a mile of each other that have blood everywhere outside.
My thought was that he got stabbed at the south one (first one I described) and had his buddies drive up to the north one to get him help because the north one was closer to the hospital.
Ended up that someone just had an extremely violent bloody nose at the south gas station after the officers reviewed the tapes. The guy actually did get shanked at the north one and his buddies drove him to the E.R., but it was unexplainable for about a week until they reviewed every bit of the footage and interviewed the victim.
4. The initial call was two dead, one with apparent gun shot wounds. Upon arrival we find a man in his sixties with half of his face missing, a gunshot to the chest, and a 30-06 rifle next to him laying in the kitchen. In the living room we find a female of same approximate age, deceased with no visible injuries or signs of death. In the back yard we found a shotgun laying in the grass.
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It took a huge amount of investigating to figure it out, but long story short... the man had attempted suicide with a shotgun. It's not uncommon for people that try to kill themselves with shotguns to soon realize that holding a shotgun under your chin and being able to reach the trigger is no easy task. Due to the length of the shotgun, the man blew the front of his face off and he didn't die. He walked into the house where his wife saw his injuries, she then went into cardiac arrest and died. The man then went to his bedroom, grabbed the high powered rifle, and shot himself in the chest.
5. My old religion teacher used to be a detective here in Aussieland - weirdest story we ever got out of him was about an abandoned church which they got called out to. The place was just COVERED in blood. The walls, floor, ceiling in parts was just painted with it! Said there was so much that it would have at least had to have been from 6 or 7 people.
They never ever found any bodies, or anything of the like. It was related to a cult that they were chasing ... but as far as that particular story goes, he said there was never any closure or answer for him.
6. I was in a Junior Police Academy and one of the Cops told us about a call they got awhile back. And this is true, no joke. I'll tell it like a story with the details I know... A wife and husband had just recently got married and everything was all fine and dandy, they were just working towards the American dream-house with white picket fence, 3 cars, 2.5 kids, you know how it is.
Anyway, the husband and wife wake up one day and go about their usual routine, the husband kisses his wife goodbye and heads off for work. Nothing strange, except the wife notices the husband left his glasses which she knew he really needed for his work. So she tries calling him, he doesn't pick up.
She figures, "Ahh what the heck I'm not doing anything today" so she decides to drop off his glasses to him, his work wasn't that far anyways. So she gets in the car and heads off to her hubby's work, but as she's driving she see's a car pulled off on a dirt road and recognizes it as her husband's car. So she pulls off the main road and down the dirt a bit to see if she sees her husband. Sure enough, she sees him standing off to the side of the road a bit. She gets out of her car and calls out his name. He turns his head to look at her, lights a match, and instantly engulfs in flames... The cops showed us a picture of his body on fire in the fetal position all charred. They never found out why he did it. No suicide note, no indication, nothing.
-[deleted]
7. Former police dispatcher... that said, this wasn't something I was involved with. Sorry.
A lieutenant at my old department likes to tell the story of when he was a beat cop in Northeastern Ohio in the 80s. They got a call of car parts floating in a lake. Fearing someone was trapped underwater, they called in a dive team who found 15 cars parked in a row, all from the 1950s era, about 25 feet below the surface.
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Due to water damage and rust, they appeared to have been sitting there for quite some time. It appeared that when they were left there they had been in perfect working order. All identification had been stripped off. The lake was natural and had been there forever.
They never did figure out who put the cars there, how, or why. The lieutenant thinks it was a high school prank, albeit a very expensive one.
8. I live in WA state, and the police still don't know why feet keep washing up on the shores around here. I can't remember how many, but one looked like a child's foot and possibly a younger woman's. It's just the foot. No one can figure out where in on earth they come from, and it's frightening/irritating. My guess? Pirates.
9. We busted an illegal meth operation and were able to take 10 people people into custody. None of them would talk but were all mysteriously murdered in prison within 2 minutes of each other.
10. When we first moved into our house someone left a bag of meat in a plastic bag on our back porch. I was home. No one knocked or rang the doorbell. I just went outside and there was a bloody bag of raw meat on a chair with a picture. We called the police and they said it looked like some sort of food and threw it away for us. None of my friends or family did it. No one fessed up to it. It never happened again. Now we joke about it but at the time I was pretty freaked.
11. One of my colleagues (a journalist) has been working with a Social Security Administration to figure out the true identity of a Jane Doe who stole the name of a deceased 2-year-old then changed her name to another fake name.
Apparently this woman was an expert. She stole the name of a baby born in California but who died in Washington, then changed her name in Idaho and went to college in Texas. The more states you jump between, the less likely you are to get tripped up by state databases. But keep in mind she did this in the '80s, before you could simple google "identity theft."
The family found all the evidence in a box labeled "crafts" in the back of her closet after her death. She was twice removed from the person they thought she was.
Was she running from an abusive relationship? Did she murder someone? A cult? We haven't a clue.
12. I live in mexico and I had distant family in Ciudad Jurez. (they moved now) which we kept small contact with. But the city is a ghost town right now, most people don't go out, women especially are not seen on the streets. It's depressing and shocking, everything is desolate and everyone is fearful.
But the strangest part of the city is a streak of feminicides. Women that work on the many factories or maquilas are the usual targets. The killings began in the 90's but they were sparse and the media was silenced easily, but in 00's with the advent of social medias the game changed and a phenomenon began. People realized that way too many women were missing or found dead, the official reports state that about 4000 women were killed or missing during 1993 and 2003. That's not the only problem with the city, because the city is heavy on cartel activity because it connects to El paso, and therefore the US. If a cartel controls Ciudad Jurez, it controls one of the greatest pathways to drug trafficking in the world as a small system of underground tunnels connects Mexico and the US. So killings and other niceties such as shooting sprees, bombings and kidnappings are everyday hazards.
The thing is that her daughter "Laura" was working in a factory and was 18 years old (inside the victims age group). My aunt's neighbor told her that Laura felt many times that she was being followed by a luxury car, usually a Mercedes or BMW.
(Continued on the next page...)
In a city where drug cartels are about, you try to avoid luxurious environments or things because nobody wants to upset the sicarios or cartel gunmen. Laura had to brush off the feeling, she needed to work and having no car she had to rely on walking or public transportation.
The day before she went missing she told her mom that a handsome man in a suit approached her, apparently accompanied with someone else but the man was out of place, since she was leaving the factory in a slummy neighborhood. Her mom had a hunch and insisted she not to go to work, but Laura was saving for a car and she went anyways. She didn't came back. My family and their once-neighbor insist that it had to be someone from the factory, but no one saw any suited man that day. Nobody.
The police returned the body after "investigations" and didn't have much to say about it. Most people believe that they're in on the whole thing. The question remains to be answered: why women? and more importantly why nobody is doing nothing about it?
13. In the early 70s, my dad's best friend went missing from Red Wing, MN early winter and was later found by my best friend's mom (freak coincidence) floating in Lake Pepin, Wisconsin, dead. Cause of death and any details of the investigation were never released. I've always wondered.
14. My dad spent 30 years as a cop in California. He told me about a time when he got a call to a building alarm at about 1am, and arrived to find that the building had indeed been broken into, but inside everything looked as if the people working there just up and left years ago; phones and papers on desks, coffee pot and water cooler still on the counter - only everything was covered in a thick layer of dust. After a few minutes of checking out the scene, the "owner" of the property (a female dressed in business attire, in the middle of the night, mind you) arrived. She provided identification, and everything checked out. She then promptly walked to the nearest telephone in the building, picked it up, dialed a number and said, "We've been compromised," and hung up. She thanked my dad and said she'd take it from there. My dad's best guess was it was a front for some kind of higher-up government operation, or maybe some corporate espionage. To this day the story gives me chills.
15. I'm not a cop, but I've done a fair amount of detective type work on this case in my life, and it still boggles my mind to this day. When I was 21 the love of my life fell off the Grid. She graduated from AUP and the last I had heard she was going to weekend in Germany. All of her internet presence disappeared 5 days later. Her phone was disconnected within the week. I contacted her parents and they said they were troubled by the phone thing but had received a letter about an exciting opportunity in her handwriting. After a year I got a postcard apologizing for disappearing but everything was okay. Five years pass and I would every now and then try to find a digital trace of her. Just because of curiosity. Her dad emailed me saying they hadn't gotten a letter in a year. I spent most of my free time for 9 months digitally tracking her, piecing things together, then I found a Europeon credit agency who would work with me to get a credit report. They take the info and 200 euros and never respond, but I got an email from an anonymous addresses saying "I am alive, I am fine. You searching for me is making certain things problematic, if you love me you will stop."
I never stopped and have started digitally tracking missing loved ones for people probono. I have some leads on C, and am going to Europe in 2014, to follow up on them.
16. I'm not a detective/cop (though I am trying to become one) but this happened to a good friend of mine, and her case was never solved.
On her birthday July 14th 2012, her and her boyfriend went out to celebrate her acceptance into the college she wanted and her 20th birthday. Her boyfriend's account of the story was that they were walking around after having a few drinks and they got separated. He walked around and looked for her and figured she went ahead to their apartment as she had the keys. He got back and she's not there, had to have landlord let him in and he tried calling her, no answer. So he goes out looking for her, finds her shoe in a back alley and calls the cops to report her missing.
Next day she falls from a parking garage naked and according to witnesses extremely out of her mind. The cops talk to the boyfriend, he explains a few things, tells them she was an avid drug user. Family confirms the body, I found out at like 3 am and went over to family's house next day, they were absolutely crushed.
Eventually they tried to put a case against the boyfriend but that fell through, all the evidence they had was circumstantial and nothing was super solid, they eventually had to call it and ruled it an accidental.
So, here are the holes in the boyfriend's story and why I believe he was the murderer:
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1) One set of keys seems a tad fishy
2) How did he not notice her missing? I knew her quite well and while she was known to go wandering she never just disappeared, she would always come back or be in a really obvious spot
3) Witnesses saw him slip something into her drink at one of the places they went to
4) He claimed she was an avid/heavy drug user, and while this was somewhat true in her high school years, she quit when she got a medical condition and had to have routine blood tests which would have shown any drug use, the records showed she had been clean for quite a while.
5) Before she fell, witnesses heard her and a male voice arguing over something
6) Her body showed some signs of a struggle
My guess is that they had an argument, most likely over her drink being spiked and ran off, he wasn't able to find her that night so went out searching the next morning. They ran into each other the next day, most likely by him searching for her. She tried to escape, went to the parking garage. He caught up to her, physical struggle resulting in her loss of clothes, the end result being him shoving her off the parking garage, taking her clothes and dumping them somewhere (no clothes found at or around scene) then making up an alibi. All witness statements supported a similar timeline, nothing supported his story.
I'm not the only one that believes he killed her, however it sadly will probably never be reopened and properly solved. Nothing can bring her back, but eventually she will be brought justice.
17. From Pennsylvania.
About 4 years ago I was working the dispatch desk. Around 11pm I received a call from a resident that stated he had just seen 6 diamond shaped objects fly over his house at only a couple hundred feet, making no noise and had mirrors of thousands of lights glowing from underneath.
No big deal I think. Another alien conspiracy theorist calling in. But he prefaced his whole call by saying, "listen, I'm not nuts, I know you get calls from crazy people but I'm not one of them. I have this on video and my whole family saw it." He gave me their approximate height, their travel direction, the times. It was weird and it sounded unbelievable but there was something about it that sounded different so I decided to dispatch someone out and check this guy out, and more importantly, to see the video.
So the officer goes out, sees the video and writes a report. He comes back to the station and I jokingly say as soon as he walks in, "So how crazy are they over there?" And with a straight face he goes, "That was something."
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I had to then call the nearest military air base and ask to speak to a supervisor at their flight control center. I gave her the time and area it occurred and she stated that nothing had been in that grid for hours. Then, feeling like a complete fool, I had to tell them that I had to report a UFO. They took the information and I faxed them a copy of the report and they said they'd look into it.
I didn't think anything of it for two years since we only got that one phone call and I hadn't heard anything about it. Sure enough though, two years later, I had a friend going through county wide training who called me and asked if I had been the one who had dispatched that call. When I said yes and told him the story he explained that at his training they had gone over how to handle unusual events and calls and that my dispatch had been played and he recognized the voice. He told me that later that night that exact report was called in over 6 times throughout the county in various areas.
To this day I have no idea what those lights were. The investigation was out of our hands.
18. This isn't my story but it's about a constable and it gets me every time.
At approximately 5:00 AM on November 28, 1980, Constable Alan Godfrey of the West Yorkshire Metropolitan Police Force was investigating a report about a missing herd of cattle near the town of Todmorden. While driving on a country road, Godfrey encountered an unidentified diamond-shaped flying object. After being blinded by a bright flash, Godfrey experienced his own missing time episode. According to Godfrey, the flying object just disappeared without explanation, and his patrol car had somehow traveled over 20 meters (60 ft). Even though it was raining, there was a large unexplained large dry spot in the middle of the wet road. Godfrey was also surprised to discover that approximately 30 minutes had passed, but he had no memory of what happened.
A lot of strange events surrounded Godfreys encounter. The missing cattle were soon found in a field behind a locked gate, but there was no sign of any hoof prints. Five months earlier, Godfrey had discovered the body of a man named Zygmunt Adamski in a Todmorden coal yard. Adamskis official cause of death was heart failure, but he had disappeared without explanation for five days, and since his whereabouts were never accounted for, there was speculation that Adamski was abducted by aliens. Shortly after Godfreys alien encounter, he had sex with his wife for the first time in years. Even though an injury had rendered Godfrey incapable of conceiving children, his wife miraculously became pregnant.
Like Herbert Schirmer, Godfrey agreed to undergo regression hypnosis and described meeting with alien beings inside a spacecraft. The notoriety behind Godfreys story eventually forced him to resign from the police force, but he continues to maintain that the events actually happened.
-Anonymous
This Store Clerk's Reaction To A Stolen Sneaker Prank Should Earn Him Employee Of The Month
Twitter user @HarvinthSkin decided to give a sales associate as his local shoe store a heart attack with a silly prank. All over the internet, people are sharing the prank and sending their well-wishes to the poor worker who experienced a moment of pure panic!
I had to give it a try? ๐๐คท๐พโโ๏ธ Instagram : @harvinthskin https://t.co/Am45kGWYLQโ Harvinth Skin (@Harvinth Skin) 1543237039.0
Don't worry too much about the unfortunate sales employee, howeverโit turns out he was given a raise as a consolation shortly thereafter!
I apologised and gave man like Martin a hug after that! ๐๐๐ JD Sports, give him a raise! ๐ต Do not try this unless youโre Zizan โ๏ธโ Harvinth Skin (@Harvinth Skin) 1543238141.0
The owner of the shoe store made clear to Skin that his employees were not to be messed with.
IM SO HAPPY THAT MAN LIKE MARTIN IS SEEN HERE WITH THE BOSS OF JD SPORTS ASIA AND IS GETTING A RAISE FOR HIS VALIANโฆ https://t.co/vL5QO2xCB5โ Harvinth Skin (@Harvinth Skin) 1543300966.0
The Big Boss of JD Sports MY! Fuck me ๐๐๐๐๐๐ https://t.co/nq3O0bdS92โ Harvinth Skin (@Harvinth Skin) 1543239495.0
On Twitter, people loved the sales clerk's reaction to Skin running out of the store.
@harvinthskin That sales be like https://t.co/0i27D7vIWKโ Ignasius Kurniawan (@Ignasius Kurniawan) 1543239042.0
@harvinthskin Best one yet cause he went out the store lmaoโ Andradรฉ (@Andradรฉ) 1543265867.0
Some thought they may have reacted differently in the same situation...
@harvinthskin @thirdeyescribe Me watching you run out of the store like https://t.co/31kkJcHjOVโ The Count ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ (@The Count ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ) 1543370777.0
But everyone got a good laugh out of the innocent prank.
@harvinthskin @kxsxhh This shit was so funny....it made my dayโ Manvir (@Manvir) 1543247327.0
@harvinthskin @queenb0414 ๐๐๐๐๐๐ https://t.co/bejrX57i6wโ ๐ (@๐) 1543275269.0
@harvinthskin @iced_coffeee https://t.co/bqP08ZK3r9โ Manuel Jr. (@Manuel Jr.) 1543358200.0
The incident also gave us some priceless reactions!
@harvinthskin โwhew my bruce lee almost came outโ https://t.co/SOUOZ4IzBEโ Nyree. (@Nyree.) 1543344926.0
@harvinthskin @ClassyyMocha ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฆโโ๏ธSaw his whole life n last paycheck that fast!!โ โFZA of FUPA-Tang Clan๐ง๐ฟ (@โFZA of FUPA-Tang Clan๐ง๐ฟ) 1543288463.0
@sofarhangone @harvinthskin @ChiSupreme @llma95_ Run up? More like run out!! https://t.co/HwHu2TT4vOโ Desi Kubrick (@Desi Kubrick) 1543320755.0
Remember, everyone: it's important to try before you buy!
@harvinthskin @mjcz1 @LeeODell84 @reevesyboi93 try before you buy. why notโ 494949494949 (@494949494949) 1543512590.0
High School Administration Under Fire For Breaking Into A Bathroom Stall While Transgender Student Was Using It
Cece is a 16-year-old transgender girl from Maple Grove, Minnesota.
She is a student at Osseo Senior High School and recently had a traumatic experience at school.
On Wednesday, Cece posted two videos, one of which is very disturbing, to her Facebook regarding an incident she experienced.
While Cece was using the bathroom at school, staff forced their way into the stall she was in.
Again, Cece is 16 years old.
Her post reads:
"SCHOOL OSSEO SEINOR HIGH ๐จ
I Guess I Can't Use The Girls Bathroom Just Because I'm Transgender ๐ Share This & MAKE IT GO VIRAL โผ๏ธ I Been Violating By Principal and Admin and Hallmonters
This Was Today 11/28/18 ๐ Ms Smith Had Nothing To Do With This"
One video showed all of the school officials she wanted to publicly name who participated in the incident.
The other showed the actual incident.
Cece's self-recorded video shows her sitting on the toilet with her pants down while a school official uses a makeshift device to reach over the stall to unlock the door.
A spokesperson for Osseo Schools stated:
"Social media posts are significantly misrepresenting the incident and that staff works very hard every day to help ensure an inclusive school where all students feel welcome, respected and safe."
They refused to comment further saying:
"We wish we could provide additional details about this incident but are committed to protecting the student's right to data privacy."
Some reports claim that Cece had previously been told not to use the women's restroom.
However, in 2017 the Minnesota Department of Education (MDOE) ruled in favor of students like Cece.
MDOE guidance states:
"Transgender and gender nonconforming students should be afforded the opportunity to use the restroom of their choice."
People also can not help but note the fact that at age 16, Cece is a minor.
Adults forcing themselves into her stall while she used the bathroom is even more appalling.
Moriah Skai Kiskaden (Facebook)
Look, guys, when a kid is in the bathroom stall with their pants down, and you pry open the stall, exposing them toโฆ https://t.co/rzMktZEkEBโ Thomas Page (@Thomas Page) 1543690840
This should be sexual assault assault of a minor. Anyone involved should IMMEDIATELY be relieved from their positioโฆ https://t.co/M5ByUSBvBPโ CrystalshineMarie (@CrystalshineMarie) 1543626160
Regardless of the unknown circumstances, the internet is outraged over the adult school staff's actions.
1st thing I saw this AM & now I canโt stop thinking about it. Unless she was assaulting another student, there isโฆ https://t.co/nkeudm8mANโ BadAssGrandma (@BadAssGrandma) 1543679009
Transphobic adults literally busted the bathroom door open on a trans high school student today in Minnesota bc theโฆ https://t.co/rojArsFW9Qโ mother sister (@mother sister) 1543465561
Look at the face of the woman who has unlocked the bathroom door!Arrogant assholes https://t.co/X98JSgHgMxโ Teresa Culhane (@Teresa Culhane) 1543698568
Cece's video and story has indeed gone viral. But what happens now remains to be seen.
H/T: Pink News, Facebook, Daily Dot, Bring Me The News
Kendall Jenner Wearing A Massive Winter Coat Is Like Lenny Kravitz's Scarf 2.0 ๐
We all love a good meme, and the best memes often imitate life. Model Kendall Jenner is the latest target of the Instagram account @itsmaysmemes, which photoshops celebrities in hilariously oversized outerwear.
At least it looks cozy...
Soon, Vogue France tweeted the image and all hell broke loose.
Winter is coming ! https://t.co/obJe6bO87Bโ Vogue.fr (@Vogue.fr) 1540199684.0
The caption reads:
"Winter is coming !"
Indeed.
People made their own versions.
@VogueParis @KendallJenner oh okay... https://t.co/Willu5LSlNโ ูleah (@ูleah) 1540383130.0
@VogueParis @KendallJenner Fixed it! https://t.co/ThTnfVSfvkโ sleepy jorge (@sleepy jorge) 1540480172.0
@VogueParis @KendallJenner https://t.co/p5CTJDEiqJโ Ty ยฉ๏ธ (@Ty ยฉ๏ธ) 1540502215.0
Some compared it to other strange fashion choices we've seen over the years.
@VogueParis @KendallJenner https://t.co/hnLvEvRJABโ Bouzid Van Der Woodsen (@Bouzid Van Der Woodsen) 1540230561.0
@VogueParis @KendallJenner New couple with @LennyKravitz?? https://t.co/oCS3WAi3Xdโ ใใใฐใ! (@ใใใฐใ!) 1540248515.0
@VogueParis @KendallJenner https://t.co/zAB6xKmu8Tโ TheBowLeggโdOne (@TheBowLeggโdOne) 1540471862.0
And there were those who had some pretty interesting ideas about what this looked like.
How your girl looks when she says she's cold and you give her your coat https://t.co/louipQI66kโ Jack Skellington (@Jack Skellington) 1540405914.0
This is what P.E. teachers would be wearing during winter while shouting at students to stop complaining that itโsโฆ https://t.co/5qDubio0mXโ ุงููุดุจุง (@ุงููุดุจุง) 1540392391.0
Perhaps we loved it because it did seem just avant garde enough for Jenner to actually wear. Turns out we all can! Well, sort of. The jacket is a digitally enlarged version of The Super Puff jacket at Aritzia. Even the non-Photoshopped version looks pretty cozy!
H/T: Huffington Post, Twitter
This Brand's Tweet History Is A Hilariously Fitting Representation Of A Brand's Life Cycle ๐
Carl's Croutons tried their hand at social media to advance their brand.
But their objective got derailed when their tweet ignited a confusing thread that sent everyone down the rabbit hole.
@topherflorence captured highlights from the thread that received over three thousand retweets for its zaniness alone.
Can you follow?
the history of every brand on twitter somehow https://t.co/fWVXsElCvrโ D๐CFUTURE (@D๐CFUTURE) 1540403954.0
The bread crumbs company endeavored to stir excitement for the brand by encouraging participation with the following tweet:
"Taking our first steps on the www!! tell us your favorite crouton recipes! #croutons #yum"
Harmless, right?
But somewhere along the way, the brand mixed business with politics. @religiousgames noticed that Carl's Croutons issued a one-word directive: vote.
The Twitter user asked, "What does it mean?"
@topherflorence What does it mean? https://t.co/IKifvva7baโ Vincent Gonzalez (@Vincent Gonzalez) 1540408943.0
Did the Carl's Croutons account manager get his social media account wires crossed? Possibly. But then we're not sure.
@topherflorence responded by saying, "lol that wasn't me i would posted something way dumber."
@religiousgames lol that wasn't me i woulda posted something way dumberโ D๐CFUTURE (@D๐CFUTURE) 1540409220.0
The following tweet from Carl's Croutons attempted damage control:
"Carl's Crutons [sic] regrets the inappropriate tweet from earlier and we sincerely apologize to the people of The Republic of Malta."
So how did Carl's Croutons insult the Republic of Malta?
@topherflorence @oggborbis ...how did they insult Malta? I need to know.โ astronaatti (@astronaatti) 1540405285.0
@Bestorb shed some light on why the Southern European island country may have been insulted by sharing a YouTube clip of episode 1008, "Final Justice," from Mystery Science Theater 3000.
Did it have something to do with the country's dominant population of women?
@astronaatti @topherflorence @oggborbis https://t.co/9imm31y8cMโ Nick Bestor (@Nick Bestor) 1540429565.0
The thread spun off in all different directions.
@topherflorence @xoxogossipgita laughing hardest at crouton recipesโ super normal internet (@super normal internet) 1540492558.0
@topherflorence That last one is life ๐๐ฝโ Rich F. Santiago (@Rich F. Santiago) 1540418084.0
@topherflorence WOW this was a ride.โ Jackal's Husband, Yuko (@Jackal's Husband, Yuko) 1540405005.0
@ItsBobberto @topherflorence @austin_walker Late stage social media.โ Mr. Jackpots (@Mr. Jackpots) 1540435914.0
There were many takeaways from the esoteric thread, but the one directive really stood out.
@topherflorence @MaxKriegerVG Haha, you got me. But seriously, vote.โ Benoit Doidic (@Benoit Doidic) 1540414697.0
@topherflorence @zoebread Clever girl. https://t.co/i5VB74s8F9โ brott rambler but spooky (@brott rambler but spooky) 1540478919.0
@topherflorence @NoraReed This was a wild ride.โ Queer Eye for the Animorphs Reboot (@Queer Eye for the Animorphs Reboot) 1540412903.0
@topherflorence @seangentille Iโm experiencing a new level of cringe right nowโ Helle Hansen ๐ธ (@Helle Hansen ๐ธ) 1540423182.0
@topherflorence @ZaaackKoootzer This is the greatest thing I've seen all dayโ your very own monica bellucci dream (@your very own monica bellucci dream) 1540406700.0
@topherflorence @spacetwinks Optimistic engagement. Regret. 'How do you do, fellow kids.' Unity through shared outrโฆ https://t.co/6VGrLNPZVpโ Ink-stained @ MFF 2018 (@Ink-stained @ MFF 2018) 1540405582.0
@topherflorence @spacetwinks 2 is where they decided to hire a social media manager. 3 is when they decided to hire a different one.โ Ink-stained @ MFF 2018 (@Ink-stained @ MFF 2018) 1540412100.0
@LaserBlade @topherflorence yeah i actually think they're pretty good croutons but then again they pay me to say thatโ cool dog mowing lawn (@cool dog mowing lawn) 1540436982.0
@topherflorence @mattfx This is magically funny like Goofy doing an unannounced set in a small black roomโ M๐R (@M๐R) 1540482697.0
@topherflorence @ZaaackKoootzer This is the greatest thing I've seen all dayโ your very own monica bellucci dream (@your very own monica bellucci dream) 1540406700.0
There's still an unanswered question.
@topherflorence I need to know the Malta story thoโ NeoSorosbot (@NeoSorosbot) 1540423045.0
So who is Carl's Croutons anyway? Nobody knows. Just vote.