People Share The Most Awkward Positions They've Been Put In
If you want people to lie for you, you have to warn them in advance!
My man's got this friend named Chad. Chad isn't his real name, but that's what we're going with for this article. Chad is in a relationship that is ... well ... there's a reason Facebook had to come up with the "it's complicated" status. Nobody is happy, they often go out of their way to avoid one another or are forcing performative affection for the 'gram. One night, Chad decided he was going to hide from LadyChad and told her he couldn't see her because he was spending time with us. He then made up a whole elaborate story about drinking wine (which he doesn't normally do) and overdoing it because he really liked it.
Thing is, Chad never told US that he used us as a ridiculously specific cover story.
So imagine my surprise when I get a message from LadyChad on Instagram (not an app I'm terribly active on as far as messaging and I have literally never spoken a single word to LadyChad at this point) asking what kind of wine I had given Chad because she wanted to go out and purchase several bottles.
Um ... what? So there I am awkwardly staring at my phone already having responded to her "hi" so I can't just ghost the girl. She knows I've read her messages and am actively on my phone. Chad doesn't really talk to me, so I have no idea how I got roped into this, and I'm looking around like "WHAT DO I DO!?!?!"
Babe later assured me this is the sort of thing Chad did to him all the time and LadyChad was probably well aware that he was lying. Still, I didn't appreciate getting sucked into some elaborate Chad-scheme. If you're going to do that to people, you have to give them a heads up! One Reddit user asked:
What's the most awkward position someone's ever put you in?
... apparently the world is FULL of Chads. Get it together, guys. Stop being Chads. Here are some of my favorite responses - edited for clarity when needed. Enjoy the cringefest!
Didn't Know About The Divorce
I'm about to go for supper with my mom's new boyfriend, she's 50. I didn't know my parents were divorced.
The Invoice
My mom sent me an "invoice" for raising me. I hadn't spoken to her in 4 years at this point. I called her to see what was up. She told me that if I don't pay the amount of the invoice, she's going to lose the house she's living in. She lamented that I was an expensive child because I had so many health issues, and how she was owed this money.
I explained to her that I wasn't responsible for my birth or the complications during my birth that she caused. She cried until I hung up, then immediately called me back with stone cold composure and told me I was no longer a part of her family. Big loss there.
Confronted By A Coworker
Was getting a drink at work and when I turned around my female coworker trapped me in a corner. She demanded to know why I don't look at her like the other guys. "I know I'm older than you but am I not pretty?" Luckily another coworker saw us and I just walked away laughing like she just told a joke.
- BigMilk0
Teacher's Erotic Poetry
My high school English teacher read us erotic poetry she wrote about her husband... who happened to be our History teacher.
Five Minutes Of Faking It
I grew up not actively doing religious stuff and I lived in the middle of an aggressively Mormon neighborhood. One day when I was in the third grade I was invited to one of my super Mormon friends house for dinner. I went and her mother asked me to say grace. Being a stupid 10 year old with no idea how to say I didn't know how, I clasped my hands together and mumbled under my breath for five minutes. *five minutes *. I probably would of gone long if the mom didn't stop me.
I didn't have dinner with them again.
Sister or Best Friend?
Right, settle in and grab the popcorn, I've got a story for you. My sister married my best mate from college, it kinda made sense at the time because he had always been around at our house, spending time with my family etc. There were no hard feelings from me, I thought they were kinda cute and a couple. Anyhoo they get married had a huge reception were my parent spent an absolute fortune inviting probably close to 300 people, not just friends of my sister and her hubby but friends of my parents to show off to at how perfect the happy couple were.. Fast forward a couple of years and my sister and her husband had emigrated to a different country and out of the blue she calls me and asks if I can visit. So I pack my bags and go on holiday. When I arrive my sister tells me that she is getting a divorce from my mate and that she has been in a relationship with a lady on the sly for a year. So I've got my sister who now wants me to stay with her and support her through the divorce process and on the other hand I now have my best mate who is absolutely crushed as a male doubting his masculinity (as you would if your wife of 10 years just upped sticks and declared her self lesbian) who wants me to live with him and play video games and smoke pot with him every night.
I went and lived with my buddy. We got high every night, got drunk all the time and shagged everything.
I met my sisters new lady friend and we didn't gel. My sisters partner is almost as old as my mother is and I wish my sister all the best, but I struggle to connect properly with her new wife.
Acquaintance Awkwardness
An acquaintance was crashing at my place for a night. We went out and had a fun night out together, he ends up bringing someone home. I crash while they're enjoy each other's company. I hear the front door open and close in the middle of the night and figure she's gone home.
Around noon the next day, the guest bedroom door finally opens and I hear him walking down the hallway toward where I am in the kitchen. I'm pouring a cup of coffee for him when a FEMALE VOICE says hello.
Turns out it was the acquaintance that left in the middle of the night. He left the hung-over bar-girl in my house. She and I had an awkward conversation while she drank a coffee then left.
- milesmac
A Dramatic Reading
I was waiting in a school office to be interviewed for an Art teaching position in a middle school 7 years ago.
There was another art teacher who already worked at the school in the office and she was trying to be friendly and make conversation with me.
She pulls out her cellphone and asks me my name. I tell her and she immediately logs into Facebook and finds my profile (which I left open to public at the time) and immediately starts reading my profile out loud for everyone in the office to hear.
Grindr Gone Wrong
Talking to a dude on Grindr and he invited me over. He started being way overly affectionate as soon as I stepped in the door. We had the typical "gay dudes about to hook-up chat" where we talk about work and how often we do this, etc. Things soon get hot and heavy. As soon as he was about to penetrate, he had a full on mental breakdown and started sobbing into my chest...
It went on for like 15 minutes and all I wanted to do was to get out of there! All I could do was reluctantly coddle him while he was hyperventilating over his recent breakup. We're both bare-ass naked, I've lost all libido at this point and I just prayed for him to get off me.
As soon as he calmed down, I don't think I've ever moved so fast in my life to get out of that house.
Thanksgiving Dinner
My wife and kids and I were invited to her parents' house for Thanksgiving, along with her two sisters. While we were all around the table and the food had been served, sister number one discovered that sister number three was dating number one's ex. An angry, awkward silence ensued. The kids started asking why nobody was talking. Potatoes were passed really hard. Platters were smacked onto the table. Stink eye was amply provided to anyone over 10 who dared to speak. It was quite a celebration of love and family.
Grandma Is An Addict
My Grandmother is currently addicted to opiods. She frequently and often texts me asking me to take her to the hospital, effectively forcing me to tell her "You need to call 911." Even though I am almost always certain it's purely so she can go in and get her high. What's more, she tries to guilt trip people who won't take her anymore, including me, saying, "Oh I can't walk! It hurts so much I can't stand!" Except we all know it's bullshit because it only ever happens within a few days of her morphine refill. Also, the fact that her doctor recommends exercise and PT really doesn't help her credibility.
It's just so awkward having to tell my own grandmother that she's addicted, that she needs to stop going to the ER for things that aren't actually emergencies, and to actually do what the doctor tells her. It's so awful actually.
"Previous Experience"
The guy I lost my virginity to married a friend from high school. That, in of itself, would have been whatever. The awkward part happened when she reached out to me for advice because she was a virgin and was sort of worried about his "previous experience."
She didn't know that previous experience was with me...
After We've Worked An Entire Shift Together
My boss makes me come in the room with her as a witness when she writes people up. It's awkward as f^ck because its usually after we've worked an entire shift together. I always make sure to tell them I had no idea and have nothing to do with it.
When Only One Of You Knows It's A Date
I was a freshman in college and a dude invited me to his place but worded it in a way that made it sound like other people would be there. I arrive in the same outfit I wore to band practice, and the dude opens the door wearing nice clothes. Shirt tucked in and everything. I chill with him, expecting more people would be arriving any minute, and they never do. Eventually a roommate comes out to get water and then goes back to his room. It eventually hits me that the guy is interested in me and this was some weird "date" thing. I was mortified. And in retrospect, it horrifies me that had he had really bad intentions, I willfully walked into a potentially dangerous situation. Luckily his intentions actually were just to chill with me. But I was BEYOND uninterested, and unskilled in the art of leaving places without feeling like I was rude. I think he could tell that I was caught off guard and he felt awkward as well. I mean he was dressed nice and I was in fucking band practice clothes. It was one of the most excruciating nights of my life. We had NOTHING in common and struggled for things to talk about. Cringing as I write this. Ew ew ew ew.
Grandchildren
Was hanging out with family. It was my 3 older siblings and their spouses as well as my brother who just had his first kid. That made me the only one without children. My mom proceeds to go on about how much she loves grandchildren and that I'm next and that I need to hurry up - while I'm sitting there with my girlfriend.
We had never really discussed kids at this point. I sat there having my family focus on me and ask all sorts of personal questions that I didn't want to be answering in front of everyone. It felt like an interrogation.
Oh, THAT Kind Of Tattoo
Was working at a hospital ER as a paramedic and was starting an IV on this old lady who had a thick Eastern European accent. I was finishing up and she made a comment on my tattoos on my arms and she said something about her just one tattoo and of course being friendly I asked what she got it of. She looked me in the eyes and said "Well it was something I didn't want to get" and of course I start connecting the dots and she was just about the right age to have been held in a concentration camp. It got real cold in that room all of a sudden. I had no idea what to say
"A Foot And A Half From My Genitals"
A friend in middle school accidentally kicked me in the balls, and they swelled pretty badly. This resulted in me not being able to walk properly. This worried my mom enough that she had the doc check my junk out.
This wouldn't be so awkward if he hadn't handled my balls and had his face like a foot and a half from my genitals. I was about 14 at the time, and not the "biggest" dude. That's probably the most awkward situation I've ever been in.
Caught Them Both Cheating
I caught my friend and his girlfriend both cheating with other people on separate occasions. I walked in on him and some chubby blonde girl bent over the toilet at a party - his girlfriend is a slim brunette. I walked in on his girlfriend with some black dude while I was visiting the two of them at their apartment. My friend is white and he was at work while his girlfriend was cheating. I promised both of them I wouldn't tell the other since that's not my place and I know their relationship is dysfunctional as f^ck.
The two of them started arguing one day over, surprise surprise, cheating. The both of them somehow caught wind that each other were cheating and they both started screaming at each other over it. I happened to be nearby so they both called me over. My friend said :
"Yo, you know this b!tch is cheating. Tell me who she's been f^cking!"
and she shouted:
"Don't listen to this as$hole. You know he's cheating on me. I know you've caught him before!" then pointed at me.
Neither of them knew that I had caught both of them cheating on each other.
I decided to maintain the middle ground and told them this wasn't my place to speak up. Then I quietly left while they continued to yell at each other. Knowing the two of them, an all out fist fight would have broken out between them so I decided not to say anything. They both ended up cheating on each other 2 more times, found out about both times and are still together for some reason.
Hacking
Was sent by my boss to some people she knew to help with "internet stuff."
I learned on-site they wanted me to hack into their 13-year-old daughter's Facebook account because they thought she was up to something.
"Just Wheeled Him Over"
I had to assist a friend of the family's grandfather with going to the bathroom. His daughter just wheeled him over to me and said "he needs to use the restroom" then left.
H/T: Reddit
People Are Roasting Trump Over His Mind-Numbing Observation About The Wetness Of Water 😂
Donald Trump thanked the first responders who came to the aid of victims of Hurricane Florence. The storm devastated portions of North Carolina, dumping massive amounts of rain and damaging millions of dollars in property. Many natural areas were destroyed, some farmers lost everything and more than a few people have been left homeless. The first responders after this massive storm were literal life savers, and Trump was absolutely right to thank them. Unfortunately, the sentiment of his message was lost for many people because he didn't seem to put any effort or preparation into what he was saying. Then, in the middle of his off-the-cuff message, he confused everyone by talking about the wetness of water.
As Trump described the storm and the importance of first responders he told the world:
This is a tough hurricane, one of the wettest we've ever seen from the standpoint of water. Rarely have we had an experience like it and it certainly is not good.
The Tweet went out in the middle of the day on Tuesday, September 18th. At the time of this article, it hasn't even been up for 24 hours and already has over 13,000 comments. Many of them pointed out how Trump didn't even seem to try...
and how asinine his description was.
We don't know if Trump will continue to address the public by releasing these kinds of videos, or if they will continue to be as unrehearsed as this one is. We assure you, if they are, Twitter will have plenty to say about it.
H/T: Huffington Post, Twitter
Macaulay Culkin Is Having Fans Vote On What He Should Legally Change His Name To—And The Options Are Bizarre 😮
Have you ever wanted to help your favorite celebrity reach their potential by giving them a new name? Fans of Macaulay Culkin will be able to do just that, as he's allowing them to vote and pick his new middle name.
The choices are beyond strange.
Thanks for having me @jimmyfallon @FallonTonight !!! I'll let you know how the name change works out! https://t.co/iIkTC8OyXH— Macaulay Culkin (@Macaulay Culkin) 1543452222.0
In a segment on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, Culkin announced his desire to change his middle name to something else. He allowed people to submit names for the last month, and narrowed those down to the top five.
Some of the suggestions were interesting, to say the least.
@DevonESawa Weird. I'm about to change my middle name. Any good suggestion? Go to https://t.co/BYXGIWJK3g— Macaulay Culkin (@Macaulay Culkin) 1540529059.0
@IncredibleCulk @FallonTonight @jimmyfallon It should be "Culkin, Macaulay" as a middle name. Will be read as: Mac… https://t.co/xRo5AiR8jd— carmineenimrac (@carmineenimrac) 1543469371.0
@IncredibleCulk @jimmyfallon @FallonTonight How did you miss "Macaulay Skulking Culkin"?!— Caleb DAVIS (@Caleb DAVIS) 1543487990.0
@ComicBook @IncredibleCulk Pls add Cacaulay Mulkin as an option— Matt Michler 🌹 (@Matt Michler 🌹) 1543603411.0
@ComicBook @IncredibleCulk Kevin! Obviously.— Andrew 🐼 🐝 (@Andrew 🐼 🐝) 1543603516.0
The official choices: Shark Week, The McRib Is Back, Kieran (submitted by his famous younger brother), Macaulay Culkin, and Publicity Stunt. That last one was suggested by Culkin's girlfriend, actress Brenda Song, and gives away the game.
Fans are still excited to vote for his new name.
@IncredibleCulk @jimmyfallon @FallonTonight Macaulay “Shark Week” Culkin has a nice ring to it.🐰 Vote on… https://t.co/AS5ce275jl— Shark Week (@Shark Week) 1543526453.0
The moment of joy that hopefully comes to us all during the day just transpired for me and funny enough, it took le… https://t.co/stOVPePmpy— Sia Brooks (@Sia Brooks) 1543606608.0
Macaulay Culkin Needs A New Middle Name https://t.co/HO9ZMUM1O1 via @bunnyearsweb @IncredibleCulk I voted for "Kier… https://t.co/jnVAa6NTlp— Stetson (@Stetson) 1543815411.0
I voted for @IncredibleCulk new middle name, what did you do today?— Catalina F 🇨🇱 (@Catalina F 🇨🇱) 1543801274.0
@IncredibleCulk @jimmyfallon @FallonTonight I like Keiran— Melissa (@Melissa) 1543517677.0
McAuley Culkin is allowing fans to vote on what is legal middle name should be, two of the final 5 is “Macauley Cul… https://t.co/KUPTU0HnKR— YOUAREDEAD (@YOUAREDEAD) 1543620499.0
@IncredibleCulk @jimmyfallon @FallonTonight Just for you to know, I voted Macaulay Culkin!— 🍀 Maria (@🍀 Maria) 1543495868.0
This is all a publicity stunt to drive traffic to Culkin's website, Bunny Ears, launched earlier this year in March. The site bills itself as a lifestyle and holistic health brand, similar to Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop. However, the articles are jokes or satirical.
Good luck finding the site if you tried to go there right after the Fallon segment.
@IncredibleCulk @jimmyfallon Look at the bunny ears website now after @jimmyfallon voted on @IncredibleCulk middle… https://t.co/PFAwxsRB8E— Charles John Kelly (@Charles John Kelly) 1543485190.0
With articles like "A Tour Guide Of The Places Where Men Have Dumped Me" in their 'Travel Guides' section, or "Meditative Things White People Can Do While Black People Attempt To Explain White Privilege" under 'Spiritual Wellness,' it's difficult to imagine the site is wanting for traffic.
Time will tell what Culkin's new middle name will be, but as of this writing, it's looking like he'll be known as Macaulay Macaulay Culkin Culkin. Which is a shame, because Macaulay Shark Week Culkin had such a nice ring to it.
H/T: Huffington Post, Bunny Ears
Time-Lapse Video Shows What A Rocket Launch Looks Like From Outer Space—And It's Dazzling 😮
We've all seen videos of rockets launching from the ground, but what does the event look like from space?
European Astronaut Alexander Gerst, on board the International Space Station, managed to capture time-lapse footage of the Russian Progress MS-10 cargo spacecraft flying through Earth's atmosphere on its way to delivering supplies to ISS.
Very few people will ever have the chance to see an event like this in person.
Russian Rocket Launch Seen by Space Station - Amazing Time-Lapse Videoyoutu.be
Gerst created the video by setting up a camera to take regular photos through the wrap-around Cupola window of the station, which resulted in a video roughly 16 times faster than real life. Watching the rocket launch in person took 16 minutes but, in Gerst's video, the launch, stage one re-entry, and escape from the atmosphere all occur within one minute.
@_TheSeaning @Space_Station That's awesome!— Scott Waby (@Scott Waby) 1542898886.0
The rocket in the video, known as Progress 71, was on its way to delivering 5,652 pounds of supplies to ISS. The next flight, pushed back to December 3 after a sensor malfunction resulted in the cancellation of an October 11 liftoff, will bring replacement personnel for NASA astronaut Serena Auñón-Chancellor and Russian cosmonaut Sergey Prokopyev. Both have been in orbit since June).
If all goes according to plan, the Canadian astronaut David Saint-Jacques will take off from the steppes of Kazakhs… https://t.co/o0LpNWTsJQ— CTV Vancouver (@CTV Vancouver) 1543800600.0
People online were amazed by the footage from space.
@_TheSeaning @Space_Station Seán, thank you for this. THIS is easily one of THE most mesmerising, and exquisitely s… https://t.co/a440XaOEX6— Nathanial_LB - نثنيال (@Nathanial_LB - نثنيال) 1542915054.0
@_TheSeaning @jasonrdavis @Space_Station SO COOOOL— Justin Foley (@Justin Foley) 1542908365.0
@_TheSeaning @Space_Station wow. just...wow. this is incredible— Sarafina Nance (@Sarafina Nance) 1542918245.0
I hardly think I need to hyperbolize this at all, because it’s simply so freaking cool: Time-lapse video of a rocke… https://t.co/lx32324AWv— Phil Plait (@Phil Plait) 1542989889.0
@BadAstronomer I watched this 5 times with my jaw on the floor... And then made everyone around the Thanksgiving ta… https://t.co/iMbSm8nvIO— Marc Leatham (@Marc Leatham) 1542990342.0
@BadAstronomer @LongDogSecurity https://t.co/Yv3YZQI9Oe— MO News DAilY (@MO News DAilY) 1543001454.0
@BadAstronomer I think that’s the most beautiful photo of Earth I’ve ever seen— Ben Migliore (@Ben Migliore) 1543092741.0
@freak1ngawesome Reverse of shooting star— Shivani Jadeja (@Shivani Jadeja) 1543667552.0
@AntonioParis What an inspiring way to begin my day! Thank you! 💫🚀✌🏻— Heather Call-Me-Elf-One-More-Time Hartley (@Heather Call-Me-Elf-One-More-Time Hartley) 1543492212.0
Videos like these are a nice reminder that space truly is the final frontier! If ISS is looking for a soundtrack to put behind their video, we have an idea:
Star Trek: The Next Generation Intro HDyoutu.be
Arkansas High School Suspends Student Paper For Publishing 'Disruptive' Investigation Into Shady Football Transfers
Halle Roberts is the editor-in-chief of the Har-Ber Herald, the school newspaper for Springdale High School in Arkansas. The 17-year-old student was suspended after she wrote an investigative piece criticizing the transfer of five football players to a rival school.
Players are not allowed to be transferred to a different school because they would like to play for a different team. They are allowed to transfer only for academic reasons. So Roberts got to digging. Her paper filed FOIA requests and received official information from the Arkansas Activities Association saying that the students were transferred for academic reasons. However, the students themselves said otherwise.
Roberts quoted one student in her paper saying:
"We just want to go over there because we have a better chance of getting scholarships and playing at D1."
Another student told Roberts:
"I just feel like it's better for my future to go out there and get college looks."
Soon after the report was published, the superintendent of the district, Jim Rollins, asked the teacher advisor for the school paper, Karla Sprague, to take the story down. She obliged.
Rollins wrote a letter stating that the piece was:
"intentionally negative, demeaning, derogatory, hurtful and potentially harmful to the students addressed in those articles."
Roberts, undeterred, is still working on a new edition of the story that includes the school's censorship.
Mike Hiestand of the Student Press Law Center had this to say:
"School officials at this point seem to me to have completely thrown up their hands and said, ‘we’re not going to l… https://t.co/PgVYFlVAlM— Amber Jamieson (@Amber Jamieson) 1543687827.0
And Halle Roberts, who dreams of being an ESPN reporter, stated:
“They are like ‘well you raised an uproar, we’re going to try and silence you,’” said Halle Roberts, 17, the editor… https://t.co/6dKFeF0so4— Amber Jamieson (@Amber Jamieson) 1543690272.0
People were impressed with Roberts.
@hallecole21 @BuzzFeedNews I'm so proud of you! You're not just fighting for yourself, you're fighting for student… https://t.co/hjVIvzstZ1— 🌺Lisa Daily is writing⛱ (@🌺Lisa Daily is writing⛱) 1543718652.0
@hallecole21 @BuzzFeedNews I shared your story on my Facebook page and am so proud of you kids for telling the stor… https://t.co/9gekpHSwey— Derryl Trujillo (@Derryl Trujillo) 1543694164.0
@hallecole21 @BuzzFeedNews Keep up the fight Halle!!— Katie Maner (@Katie Maner) 1543762811.0
Some had harsh words for the school's administration.
@BuzzFeedNews @KatinaParon The principal and the superintendent should be fired, not the teacher. And the students… https://t.co/AfE6JTmowp— Jody Beck (@Jody Beck) 1543754569.0
@ambiej @BuzzFeedNews Abuse of power by the school administration— Lovehersports50 (@Lovehersports50) 1543686742.0
@ambiej Hey @sdaleschools School board members. Why are you allowing Arkansas Har-Ber High School Principal Paul Gr… https://t.co/8pdT0St1FO— Nancy Levine (@Nancy Levine) 1543693785.0
And most had high praise for Roberts and the other student journalists working on this piece.
A great example of investigate student journalism, and why it needs more recognition. https://t.co/s4MBLn0HiN— Gabija Gataveckaitė (@Gabija Gataveckaitė) 1543692451.0
Much to appreciate about @ambiej’s reporting on this Arkansas school district’s effort to suppress a high school pa… https://t.co/fIk5vTaWCZ— Pat Berry (@Pat Berry) 1543688372.0
High school students do real journalism, school district immediately tries to shut them down, despite state law gua… https://t.co/HqOgXTv1bl— Jeff Amy (@Jeff Amy) 1543692270.0
Oh this is the good stuff. I love this editor. Great work. Stand for journalists. https://t.co/QlrTTzrqs8— Scott Lewis (@Scott Lewis) 1543693549.0
And Halle Roberts herself closed by saying:
thank you so much. #freedomofthepress https://t.co/LsjWT7nycD— halle roberts (@halle roberts) 1543685392.0
Fight on, Halle!