Working in HR is no picnic. The warning about the job is in the title... "Human Resources." You know right away that you'll be dealing with people, constantly. That can be a bit much, as most workplaces are wrought with drama. Of course the HR department is an essential branch of a business, and the people who run it are supposed to be a safe place for employees to go for questions. So it is unfortunate when one discovers the department whose purpose was designed to look after the little guy is actually a viper's den.Redditor u/ceowin wanted to hear why the HB department is s place where we all need to watch our backs most by asking... What's the worst "HR is not your friend" story you've witnessed/experienced?
I know that some HR departments are overseeing a large number of people, but that doesn't mean you aren't supposed to be able to identify the person you need to seek out. You can't just pull a rando employee in and give them the what for. At the very least know with whom you are scolding or praising. How embarrassing.
And you are...Excuse Me Reaction GIF by Bounce Giphy
Pulled into a meeting with two HR reps in the middle of my shift. Taken to this really nice boardroom, which was confusing because I was just a grunt and this is literally floors above where I should ever be.
They sat me down and said basically what do you have to say for yourself. Me, still confused, tells them I have no idea what they're talking about. Everyone is really quiet and serious and I'm scared. And they say you know what you did, this is cause for termination, blah blah. I'm literally thinking this is really excessive for being a few minutes late sometimes.
I insist I don't know what's going on. One of them maybe realized something was wrong and flips open a file and says you're xx right? Turns out they got me mixed up with someone else who has the same name. On the elevator ride down by myself I was still sweating. Don't know what that other person did but man, HR does not play.
I had the Air Force Office of Special Investigations do that crap to me back in like 2002 or so. I got told OSI called and wanted me to go over to their office. I got interrogated for about 10 minutes, them accusing me of doing cocaine and hanging out with some other dude I barely knew. After me arguing with them for those ten minutes or so, they finally said "aren't you this Airman super common last name?"
And I was like, yeah but there's multiple Airman super common last name in my shop alone. Yeah turns out, they meant a different person completely. They saw my last name and never checked my ID or asked my first name. I had to get read into the investigation because they messed up.
Once you survey the terrain and understand the dynamics of the job, you can devise a plan. If you know HR is full of jackals, then you know you're on your own. So never let them leave you hanging. Keep proof. Beat them at their own game.The proof is all you'll ever need. And be ready to be sneaky about it.
Show the Logs
I went to HR to report that my team's manager was illegally shorting all of our paychecks. HR's response was to adopt a new, company-wide policy addressing the paycheck issue and back-paying most people for a certain amount, and also to frame me for work avoidance. HR and IT disabled part of my login account to a tool we used, and then fired me a few months later after failing to fix the problem and allowing me to actually do my job.
They tried to deny my unemployment claim afterward. Told the unemployment rep that they "had logs" showing that I did something to break the tool I don't even have access to break in the first place. They also didn't think to disable my email access in a timely manner, so I was able to back up all my emails with IT documenting exactly what went down. Unemployment approved my claim and hit them with a major penalty to their insurance.
I have receipts...
HR ordered me to downgrade my three excellent employee reviews to satisfactory because management didn't recognize their names. I got written up for telling my employees this.
HR denied that they told me anything, even though I had the emails from them documenting it.
Totally worth it. My employees were excellent and got the raises they deserved.
You gotta watch out for the little things. That is how they get you. See they know you're staying on top of the big things. That is exactly what throws us off our game. We miss the small details being blinded by the elephant in the room. Trust me when I tell you, they've been plotting your demise and it'll be for something you never thought possible. Be prepared.
Take my Badge...Im Out Shark Tank GIF by ABC Network Giphy
The HR/Payroll manager at a small hospital I worked at had a bad habit of not paying out the sign on bonus that was paid out incrementally in three payments through the course of a year and sign on bonuses for picking up extra shifts.
After repeated request to be belatedly compensated, I took it to corporate who addressed my issue immediately.
A couple weeks later I was terminated on what amounted to a technicality where I forget my badge one shift and my relief was late to take over sitting with a patient, causing me to receive more points against me than if I had called out for that shift.
When I was called in to receive my notification, the director of nursing was shocked but ultimately not much she could do.
Overall I've been able to get along with HR departments with one exception. I was working a help desk job for a company during college and the head of HR called in for help. He was making an Excel spreadsheet and couldn't figure out how to make a formula do what he wanted. I offered to come take a look as we were in the same building and he told me I couldn't because the spreadsheet was full of confidential information. So I asked then if he could describe what exactly he was trying to do without giving away any specific info, and he told me that what he was trying to do was confidential.
So I clarified that he wanted me to tell him how to do something but I couldn't see it and he wouldn't even tell me what it was he was trying to do. At that point he agreed that I wouldn't be able to assist him since he couldn't divulge anything. As soon as we hung up he called my boss to complain that I was useless.
Of course some people are just straight up dumb, or rotten to the core. In a perfect world people in positions of power deserve to be where they are, or they're at least competent. Well, competent enough where you're not wondering... "how did you get here?" And rotten people can be movie villain level, true story.
A Quick 6
I worked at a smallish company that grew big enough to hire a hr person. Her office was down from mine so in the mornings I'd swing by and say hi. That turned into grabbing a cup of coffee she had just made, the into having a pastry and talking about life. I found that if I mentioned someone's name in passing, a few minutes later she would spill the beans about that person's life. What work issues they had, health issues, family issues etc. I learned really quick any issues I had not to take them to her. She made it like 6 months before she got fired.
The HR supervisor of my former company. She didn't have formal training in HR but still got the job because of connections. She would tell anyone she was close with confidential details about certain employees like their health and family issues. She would also divulge information that only the management should know like business negotiations. And it was all voluntarily done. Anyone with formal training who worked under her never lasted a year. Last I heard, they finally hired an HR manager she would report to.
HR hired consultants to run morale building employee input sessions. Basically saying "We're not from the company. You can tell us all the things you don't like about working here and would like to see changed and we'll put it all into a report for management. Don't worry, everything is anonymous, we just need material for our report and you guys get to have your say in improving things around here."
Turns out HR and the consultants recorded all the sessions and played the highlights for management. People were disciplined for criticising the company or their immediate superiors and any shred of faith or trust in management that the employees may have had was instantly incinerated.
Managers now complain that they don't know what's going on in their teams because nobody tells them anything. I wonder why.
Villainess...the little mermaid villain GIF Giphy
HR person used her position to collect intel to get people she didn't like fired.
Bad Performance Issues
The company has a policy where 10% of the workers had to get bad performance reviews which meant no raise that year. What the company didn't take into account is that some teams are small and hyper specialized. You can imagine what happened next, a bunch of crucial employees quit and that policy was cancelled (but the damage was done).
Edit: wow people really enjoy corporate incompetence, let me tell you another. The company has a policy that limits an intern to 5 years. I started there somewhere during my bachelor's and now near the end of my masters, it took over 5 years so now they are letting me go. My boss doesn't want to let me go and his boss doesn't want to let me go, but you can't argue with corporate.
At the "Real" Job
At my last "real" job before striking out on my own I had an exit interview with the HR lady. Who was actually just someone who was friends with the company president who was filling in because the actual HR lady with a degree in HR and everything quit.
A lot of people at this place quit. It was a terrible place to work with out of touch management and delusions of grandeur limping along building websites for a business niche that was mostly old people who thought the Internet was magic.
During the exit interview she asked why I was leaving. I told her I liked my coworkers a lot, but hated the company. She got this exasperated look and got genuinely upset, and told me that she'd been getting that same line from everybody else who quit and had their exit interview recently.
It boggled my mind that they could hear the same thing over and over again from so many people putting in their time until they could go on to something better and not stop to think they should change something.
Being a JuniorFed Up Reaction GIF Giphy
Our entire IT department get tested based on our skills level.
Turns out, more than half of us were suited for higher categories (meaning we were getting under-paid - I was not a junior but a semi-senior, for example). Suddenly the test doesn't matter and HR basically forgets about it, but now you have a bunch of employees that know they're being played. Everyone left eventually.
I Dare You
After 4 years on the job, I was given a first and final warning for asking why the hell HR was behind a locked door and now dominated over half the first floor, filled with new furniture that was unused after 6 months, meanwhile, my chair was taken by another employee and I was told to use the chair without padding.
An executive from another department heard my complaint, stole one of the unused chairs from the HR expansion, and gave it to me, explaining that if I did it, I'd be fired, she did it daring them to fire her.
I worked in a call center for a cell provider when I was younger, let's call them Sprint Mobile. We had a bonus structure that was based on our call metrics; hold time, handle time, call resolution and all that. A lot of the metrics were obtainable but one was hard, call resolution. Some times people had to go to stores, wait for replacement devices, or needed software updates that required follow up calls.
But they got surveyed right after the call and asked if their problem was resolved. Well my last year there we got our metrics at the beginning of the year and by November about 60% of the floor hit them. Two weeks before bonus time they changed the metrics and only 20% of the floor got their bonus.
Not HR but heed my warning: don't type ANYTHING into your work computer that you wouldn't say directly to your company's HR person's face. I have seen people had cases built against them for poor work and ultimately fired for the crap they say over Skype.
I worked in a warehouse that regularly concealed the shipping of dangerous goods to save money. This went on for years. As time went on, I bubbled up though the ranks and was eventually made manager of the warehouse. I outright refused to ship anything anywhere until we started to claim our dangerous goods shipments properly. Their solution? The boss started to sign his name instead. This went on for a few weeks until HR found out. (They obviously knew how much trouble the president could have got in to).
So the next time a shipment had to go out, the got the newest guy in the warehouse to start signing his name instead, claiming they were training him how to do paperwork but the poor kid had no idea.... so when the driver showed to pick up his shipment I told him that there were a bunch of dangerous substances concealed in the shipment. So he refused it and left. I got told later that my actions were "damaging to the company image" and it had to stop.
I told HR exactly what was going on and how I would not be a part of it. Less than a week after that, I was removed from my position due to "company restructuring" and laid off. Some of the most crooked shit I've ever seen. My rough estimates ballpark the money they saved at about $250,000/year. Scumbags... the whole family.
The next 2 weeks...
Upon giving two weeks notice, I get this stupid rant about millennial snowflakes, how we can't take the stress of a real job, and how we think we're so important and unique, but in reality the only thing that would happen, is that they would find another engineer to fill in for me, and things would be like I never existed.
After the initial shock, I replied with a "you are absolutely correct. Me staying or not is meaningless. Consider my resignation immediate from this moment, please give me the paperwork to sign."
The Gaslightercrazy nicolas cage GIF Giphy
HR was the bosses sister and the boss was a narcissist.
The sister/HR had very little actual life experience because they both came from a big pharma family and never really had a sense of what working a real job was like. Boss could do no wrong in his sister's eyes, so complaining about anything just got you gaslit. Glad I'm not there anymore.
Out of lIne
At my job we used to hire a few special needs individuals who would do some cleaning and light duty things. One day one of them did something wrong (it was very minor but I can't remember the specifics) and the manager said out loud, right next to this guy, "why do we keep hiring these retards?"
And referred to his job coach as his "handler". One of the girls that saw it happen was rightfully pissed off and reported it to HR. The next day she was put on unpaid leave for "creating a hostile work environment". Same manager is still here... she is not.
Luckily, I myself have had very few encounters with people from an HR department, and the few times I did they were quite lovely. In the end, no matter the job, no matter the company, the position, title or department we must realize, everyone is out for themselves. You sort of have to be. Everyone wants their share of the pie. It would just be nice if everyone didn't play the villain to do it.
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Society definitely teaches men some really cruel and unrealistic things about women. It ends up warping their attitudes and later affects the relationships they develop (or try to develop, in other cases). Men are also taught that women are crappy communicators, or simply don't communicate at all. Perhaps that contributes to men's behavior around women, which can come off the wrong way. It can seem entitled at best, frightening or violent at worst.
After Redditor rocketbot99 asked the online community, "Men who used to be creepy around women and stopped, what made you change your ways?" men shared their stories.
"Once I got sober..."<p>It took me recognizing I was addicted to alcohol, tobacco, pornography, and sex. I had been aggressive toward women and objectifying them since I was a child. I think this happened because I was exposed to sex at such a young age. I thought all relationships were supposed to be how movies and shows were so I just emulated what I saw.</p><p>Once I got sober I realized how much of a monster I was and took the necessary steps to really implement change in my life. Lots of therapy. Lots of crying. Self-reflection as to why I was emulating that specific behavior, and quitting my addictions. It's been a journey, but I'm happy to say I've been in a loving committed relationship with proper boundaries for a year now.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqeygf/for_men_who_used_to_be_creepy_towards_women_and/gohjqu6?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Ghetto_Pinnochio</a></p>
"Talking to women..."<p>Talking to women, becoming friends with women, changing my circle of friends, growing up, learning empathy, and the final nail in the coffin was sobriety.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqeygf/for_men_who_used_to_be_creepy_towards_women_and/goh73o1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ruberusmaximus</a></p>
Yes...<p>...it can be as simple as that.</p><p>And to those of you out there tackling your issues and facing the long road of sobriety: You're rockstars.</p><p>Let's continue.</p>
"That was decades ago..."<p>Growing self-awareness that I wasn't the centre of the goddamn universe.</p><p>Went through a chasing-potential-girlfriends-too-hard phase in my earlier adult years, including mistaking simple offers of friendship and work colleague status for actual interest. It wasn't "stalking" level and it never reached the point of discipline (or even commenting), but it was probably to the point of being a little unprofessional and uncomfortable for the girl involved.</p><p>That was decades ago and I'm now with a company that doesn't tolerate that sort of thing.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqeygf/for_men_who_used_to_be_creepy_towards_women_and/gog2i1f?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">theoriginalretro</a></p>
"I would always get really close..."<p>In middle school, I was a mid-puberty, horniness-stricken, little perv. I didn't do a good job of concealing it either, I would always get really close to my one friend because I liked her at the time, and looking back it was so wrong to do.</p><p>It took me looking at what they were thinking and how my behavior affected them to really stop being creepy. Hindsight helps a lot as well.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqeygf/for_men_who_used_to_be_creepy_towards_women_and/gog299h?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">userone1</a></p>
What's that saying?<p>Hindsight is 20/20? You bet.</p><p>Let's continue.</p>
"This sounds weird to me now..."<p>I'm guilty of this, though naively and innocently so.</p><p>This sounds weird to me now, but I actually grew up in a household that valued back, neck. and shoulder rubs.</p><p>I did this for a long, long time to people I was friends with, men and women. In my head, it was just a way of saying I cared.</p><p>In retrospect, it undoubtedly gave of a super-creepy vibe.</p><p>I stopped once I saw it in context of someone else doing it to a woman, and her facial reaction to it. Then it just clicked. "Oh...OHHHHHhhh...wow, that's inappropriate..."</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqeygf/for_men_who_used_to_be_creepy_towards_women_and/goh7h4q?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">virgilreality</a></p>
"They aren't laughing..."<p>They aren't laughing because I'm funny, they're laughing because they're scared.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqeygf/for_men_who_used_to_be_creepy_towards_women_and/gogz9hr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">kirixen</a></p>
"Then I got married..."<p>When I was in my late teens and early 20s I was constantly "chasing girls" as the expression goes. Nobody ever seemed to take offence to it, that kind of behaviour seemed expected. Plus, I always seemed to be able to find someone who was interested in hooking up.</p><p>Then I got married so obviously I stopped. I found myself single again 10years later and quickly reverted to my old ways. It wasn't long before I realized that things that I could get away with at 21 no longer worked at 32. In fact, based on the reactions of a couple of women, I realized I was being creepy. Of course, the women I was pursuing were also older too.</p><p>I realized I had to take a more mature approach. Things went much better after that, but I still cringe to think of some of my early attempts to get back in the game.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqeygf/for_men_who_used_to_be_creepy_towards_women_and/gogz1kt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WYMYZR</a></p>
"When I broke up with..."<p>When I broke up with my first serious girlfriend, I was totally heartbroken.</p><p>I called her all the time, cried on the phone. I even threatened to kill myself and told her so. This went on for some time.</p><p>Eventually, I threatened again to kill myself and went to bed drunk. I woke up to a voicemail from her crying her eyes out begging me not to do it.</p><p>I was so ashamed about my behavior. I realized in that message what I had become. It was absolutely her right, as it was mine, to end a relationship at any time for any reason, without being hounded and traumatized by the ex. I was evil and toxic.</p><p>I apologized and promised never to do it again. After that, I left her alone. I was still heartbroken, but I found comfort in my friends, and in activities and hobbies instead. I had several failed relationships after her, but I never again treated a woman this way. This was over fifteen years ago and now I am married. I have been tempted many times to contact her and apologize some more for my behavior, but the truth is, she is better off without me in her life. I hope she is well.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqeygf/for_men_who_used_to_be_creepy_towards_women_and/goh7rja?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Fire_TheTorpedo2011</a></p>
"I realized..."<p>I realized that I wasn't a knight in shining armor, and they weren't princesses to be adored and saved.</p><p>Rather than trying to ingratiate myself with them, I just started casual conversations. If they gave curt responses and standoffish body language, I politely exited the conversation and moved on.</p><p>By caring less, I succeeded more.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqeygf/for_men_who_used_to_be_creepy_towards_women_and/gohlz04?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">DancinginAshes</a></p>
"That single event..."<p>Maturity finally caught up with me.</p><p>I had one particularly bad experience with a girl "A" who I think was genuinely interested in me at one point, but I was super awkward and didn't have a clue how to act right, so I never really made a move beyond sad attempts at flirting, and so I think she eventually just thought I was a weirdo who wouldn't leave her alone.</p><p>Then one day we were both in a big group of people just talking and a mutual friend completely out of the blue suggested that A should ask me out, and what followed was possibly the single most uncomfortable moment of my entire life to date. "A" pretty much turned white and she was <em>out of there.</em> I'm sure she believed that I had put our mutual friend up to it. I had not. If anything I was just as horrified.</p><p>That single event shattered my self-confidence so completely that I spent the next year and a half actively avoiding any kind of conversation or interaction with girls, because I had concluded that I must be a Creep and therefore the right thing to do was to protect girls from my Creepiness by isolating myself.</p><p>Eventually, I kind of figured myself out and by my early 20s I was still awkward as hell but I managed to have a couple of relationships and plenty of platonic female friendships.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqeygf/for_men_who_used_to_be_creepy_towards_women_and/goh3brx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Granxious</a></p>
We certainly appreciate all of these candid replies.<p>Self-reflection is <em>not </em>easy. Self-reflection is difficult and uncomfortable. It's supposed to be. We're happy to see more men out there owning up to their behaviors. It's a relief. Attitudes now are not even the same attitudes of 10 or 20 years ago. The more men come to terms with the reality of how their behavior can and does affect women, the better off we'll be as a society.</p><p><span></span>Have some stories of your own to share? Feel free to sound off in the comments below.</p>
Parenting is a lifelong commitment.
My mother still marvels at how fast I grew up, and I know she was very much taken aback by the (first) time I moved out. I was 20 then and honestly, she would have been fine if I'd stayed indefinitely. Did she ever think, watching me take my first steps, that the years would fly by and that one day she'd be helping me move across the country? I'm sure she did. But that doesn't mean she was entirely prepared.
After Redditor amberarmy1912 asked the online community, "Parents, what surprised you the most when your child moved out?" people shared their stories.
"Or just grabbing something..."<p>That's hard.</p><p>One thing is how much I do miss my kids. I enjoy them not being here (even more once the last one moves out and my MIL is gone) but I miss the f*** out of them. I was so tired of living in one room (the master bedroom was also my office and I work from home) and I enjoy the extra room, but I hate not stopping by and joking around when I see something weird or funny online. Or just grabbing something I know they like when I am at the store and just kind of dropping it by their room as I go past. All those little things are gone now. I hope they realize how much those little things really meant.</p><p>The other is some of my own personal issues. I want to hear from my kids but I don't want to bother them so I don't contact them as often as I would like. I have never been much of a just shoot-the-s*** person so that hurts me in communications. I see a lot of my dad in me that way, he rarely ever calls me except when there is a death in the family or something. I used to not call him when he worked because I could never remember when it was safe to call.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lnb5qd/parents_of_reddit_what_surprised_you_most_when/go07ean?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">CrustyBatchofNature</a></p>
"The difference..."<p>The difference between peaceful quiet and sad, lonely quiet.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lnb5qd/parents_of_reddit_what_surprised_you_most_when/go0381j?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">factchecker8515</a></p>
My mother told me this...<p>...after I left. It must have been quite the adjustment.</p><p>Let's continue.</p>
"The moment our son moved out..."<p>The moment our son moved out to live on his own he became vegetarian. He never gave us any indication he was planning to or wanted to be vegetarian.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lnb5qd/parents_of_reddit_what_surprised_you_most_when/go056ha?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">LaoBa</a></p>
"I was cooking recipes..."<p>We have one kid. I was cooking recipes for 6 every night thinking that the portion counts were misleading because we never had any leftovers. Nope. Our grocery bills are now about a third of what they used to be.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lnb5qd/parents_of_reddit_what_surprised_you_most_when/go0a4kd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">pro_ajumma</a></p>
That's always nice!<p>Tell me: Who doesn't love saving money?</p><p>Let's continue.</p>
"I also realized..."<p>That we talk more now that he lives on his own. We seriously play games at least twice a week for four to six hours. I also realized I was the safe mom that all his friends felt comfortable with. They still call to talk or stop by for a socially distanced catch-up.</p><p>I also realized that my water bill was only a 1/4 of what it used to be. I wasn't imagining the super long showers.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lnb5qd/parents_of_reddit_what_surprised_you_most_when/go020yp?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">backartigain</a></p>
"I found out..."<p>Mom here. I was worried that I would be sad and heartbroken. I found out that was not the case. I was excited to see where her path took her. It's amazing to see her making her own world and dreams come true. I now have more money, so I travel a lot more.</p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lnb5qd/parents_of_reddit_what_surprised_you_most_when/go09zmu?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Mindy76131</a></p>
"I'm sorry, mom." (From a child.)<p>How many kitchen utensils you actually need to make basic meals.</p><p>I'm sorry mom. I will never make fun of your crowded cupboards again.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lnb5qd/parents_of_reddit_what_surprised_you_most_when/go07ya4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ersin23</a></p>
This is so true!<p>My kitchen cabinets are so cluttered. In a way, I am thankful. I know I am always prepared in the event I want to make something new. It's a great feeling.</p><p>Let's continue.</p>
"God knows I love them..."<p>It's an instant pay rise. God knows I love them, but even when they have been working and contributing to the household, me and my wife have still fronted most of the bills and purchases. Going from providing for a family of five to just me and the wife.... let's just say we eat better cuts of meat and our savings accounts have never been healthier.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lnb5qd/parents_of_reddit_what_surprised_you_most_when/go0guld?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Iloathewinter</a></p>
"The possibility to spend much more time..."<p>The possibility to spend much more time with my wife, which wasn't a surprise, but to sort of rediscover her as the amazing individual I once fell in love with. I never lost sight of it, but the roles of mother and father took up soo much of our time, so our "we"-time had always been on the back-burner (I know I haven't worded this very clearly, but I hope you get what I mean).</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lnb5qd/parents_of_reddit_what_surprised_you_most_when/go0guld?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Iloathewinter</a></p>
"They have their own, thoughtful opinions..."<p>When they move out, they also take a step towards adulthood, which means our relationship also changes for the better. We can take a step away from "parent-child"-relationship to "two people who love and respect each other" and we can talk about many issues much more as equals now. They have their own, thoughtful opinions on many topics, an I love having these discussions because more often than not they'll surprise me with a different perspective, and make me re-think my own opinions.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lnb5qd/parents_of_reddit_what_surprised_you_most_when/go0guld?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Iloathewinter</a></p>
"I'm a dad..."<p>The dad identity I adopted isn't who I am.</p><p>I'm a dad, but I used to be more than that and still want to be.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lnb5qd/parents_of_reddit_what_surprised_you_most_when/go09gkr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">wedeservebetter</a></p>
That last one hits me something fierce...<p>...and I'm not even a parent! </p><p>It must be incredibly difficult to accept these kinds of changes after so many years of sacrifice.</p><p>If you'll excuse me, I'll go hug my mom. (Thankfully we've been able to see each other during this pandemic!)</p><p>Have your own stories to share? Feel free to share them in the comments below.</p>
Students who have not prepared for an exam somehow have the energy to devise a plan to cheat.
Ploys<p>These Redditors witnessed answers being relayed to students by an unassuming accomplice.</p><p>While the tactics may have looked good on paper, they failed to fool anyone. <br></p>
Using A "Translator"<p>"At the test center I used to work candidates were allowed to bring a translator of their choice as long as it got approved by the state. Most of the time it was a family member and we would listen in on the conversation using a headset and record it. Once in a while, while replaying the recordings we would hear signals and patterns given by the translator telling the candidate which option to choose. Busted!"</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqkhsq/exam_proctors_of_reddit_what_is_the_most/goh177j?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Csuz9022</a><br></p>
Braiding Hair<p>"Not an exam proctor, but a student who heard of this afterwards. It was two girls, and the one who knew the answers sat behind the other. During the test, she started braiding the other girl's hair. When the teacher wasn't looking, the one in the front would make a number with her fingers on the side of her thigh (the question), and the other responded by pulling her hair on specific spots (A, B, C, D)."</p><p>"They made a habit of braiding each other's hair everyday days before the exam so the teacher wouldn't find it weird. I was the goody two shoes who never cheated, but even I had to respect them."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqkhsq/exam_proctors_of_reddit_what_is_the_most/gohx322?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Leticia_the_bookworm</a><br></p>
Notes To Self<p>Some students used their own bodies to scribble down the answers – including on thighs, arms, and even mixed among freckles.</p><p>All that work disguising the answers could have been spent on studying.</p><p>Yet, here we are. <br></p>
Notes On Thighs<p>"I'm not an examiner but my mate once wrote out loads of notes on his thighs then went to the toilet during the exam- the examiner led him to the toilet to check the cubicle out first etc then waited to listen for papers rustling etc. He wasn't very smart but that could well be the smartest idea he's ever come up with. Absolutely do not condone though!"</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqkhsq/exam_proctors_of_reddit_what_is_the_most/goguirq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">sophloopyP</a><br></p>
Camouflage With Freckles<p>"I have a lot of freckles on my arm, which would turn lighter if I put pressure on the skin, which gave me an idea. If I used a marker with a similar color as my freckles, I could make dots that formed letters or numbers, and when I pressed my arm just right, the freckles would fade for a second or two, but the ink would remain dark. Couldn't write a lot like this, but enough for notes on more difficult concepts. Never got caught."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqkhsq/exam_proctors_of_reddit_what_is_the_most/gohqb1h?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">FourRosesVII</a><br></p>
Two "BUSTED" Students<p>"Not a proctor but I witnessed two students get caught cheating while we were taking exams."</p><p>"One girl wore cheap/thin leggings that were slightly too tight. When she sat down, they would stretch out further and would basically become see-through over her thighs. She had a bunch of equations written on her thighs that one of the proctors noticed as they walked around the testing room. BUSTED."</p><p>"One guy had a bunch of stuff written on the insides of his arms, near his wrists . He wore a long-sleeved shirt that he would pull up/down. One of the proctors noticed him messing with it across the room and had him pull his sleeves up. BUSTED."</p><p>"Don't cheat, kids. You really don't want to have to explain to future employers or grad schools why you have an academic suspension or worse on your transcript."</p>
Tricks Up My Sleeve<p>Instead of relying on accomplices or their own flesh canvases, the following students devised ingenious ways to cheat. </p><p>One proctor was astonished while watching one particular student who, like a magician, produced slips of paper from "everywhere."</p>
Printing Personalized Labels<p>"I knew a guy who would make his own labels for soda/water bottles, but change the nutrition info to be useful equations for the test. The labels' material was identical to regular ones, even down to the gloss of the paper. Seems like if he spent the time studying, instead of making perfect labels for cheating, he wouldn't need the labels in the first place." </p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqkhsq/exam_proctors_of_reddit_what_is_the_most/goi5cta?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Helldiver-xzoen</a><br></p>
So 2020<p>"My friend came up with the realization that you can slip a paper into your mask and then pull it to see what you wrote."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqkhsq/exam_proctors_of_reddit_what_is_the_most/gogvb4u?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Disposable_baka404</a><br></p>
The Pen<p>"In high school, circa 1996, I somehow obtained the answers to a 20 question test. I proceeded to go to the computer lab and type the answers and then printed them in size 3 font. Then I cut them out and taped them on one side of a white Bic pen. During the test I could roll the pen so the answers weren't visible, and then when I need to look I could tilt the pen slightly and see the answer. I missed two on purpose so the teacher wouldn't figure I cheated."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqkhsq/exam_proctors_of_reddit_what_is_the_most/gohmm4p?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Flip17</a><br></p>
So Many Slips Of Paper<p>"Guy came in to sit an exam (along with one or two dozen others), wearing an eyepatch and with one arm in a sling with a prosthetic hand. Pretty unusual, but whatever. But I got suspicious when he started fiddling with his eyepatch, pulling it way away from his face and then putting it back. So I pressed the button on my desk that turns the cameras on (not sure why they didn't just record all the time, but this was back in the mid-eighties). I wasn't actually supposed to intervene in these cases, so I just sat there and watched, astounded, as this guy proceeded to pull little slips of paper from all over the place -- the sleeve of his supposedly injured arm, <em>under his tongue</em>... incredible. I don't know how he fooled himself into thinking nobody would notice."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqkhsq/exam_proctors_of_reddit_what_is_the_most/goiemw8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">super_aardvark</a><br></p>
Sometimes the things that come out of peoples' mouths are truly astounding. It makes you wonder, where did things go wrong? Why are they like this? As Forrest Gump once said, “stupid is as stupid does".
Here are a few of the most jaw-dropping lay stupid things that have been said by actual human beings. Not aliens trying to figure out how humans communicate--ACTUAL human beings. Thanks, Reddit.
First up, what better people to hear ridiculous claims from than children? Here are some people that even teachers couldn’t help.
Well, that’s awkward.
I was in 5th grade like 20 years ago, and I am a male which is important later. My school changed an extra girls locker room into a computer lab. When my class got to go check it out, I say "wow, it looks so different!".
Everyone looks at me like I'm a creep. What I meant to say was "wow it looks so different that the boys locker room!" I still think about this when trying to fall asleep more often than I'm comfortable with.
....no. No it’s not.War Guy GIF Giphy
In my Spanish class where they were talking about Spanish countries
"What about Syria...isn't Syria Spanish?"
Worst part... NOBODY called her out on it to the point I was questioning myself. The professor had good English but it wasn't her first language and she dodged her question saying she's only going over countries in south america. I had to literally write myself a note that she literally asked that question. Then I got paired up with her like 10 minutes later for a group activity and I still wasn't over this question lol
Fake but also real but also demonic?
A kid in high school tried to convince me that men had an extra rib and that the earth is only a few thousand years old. Same kid said that ouija boards were full of magnets and gears which made them fake, yet they were simultaneously completely real and needed to be burned on sight to prevent demonic possession.
But sometimes it’s the parents of children who say the dumb stuff.
Back in 2014 I still vividly remember we were eating dinner, and my brother is chewing with his mouth open while my sister is talking. My dad, still thinking about her talking but talking to my brother said "Talk with your mouth closed." and my sister just went silent immediately.
Stupid can turn into ignorant really quickly. Here are a few examples of the not-so-harmless kind of dumb statements.
Fun fact: they don’t use the US Constitution in New Zealand. Who knew?angela rye guns GIF by Third Rail with OZY Giphy
After the church shooting in New Zealand, they banned guns. My coworker said that they can't do that since it violates the second amendment. We live in California.
Everyone knows New Zealand is the state below New Canada.
Uhhhhh that’s racist af.
Not to me but my husband.
He had to take an uber home from the Naval Base in San Diego (car was getting fixed) and the guy who picked my husband up was from Pakistan and they had small talk, telling him how he moved over here etc, dude was pretty cool.
My dumbass half sister whom we were staying with for a bit told him straight to his face, "Oh since you're military he probably wanted to like... murder you."
...What a f*cking ignorant, racist thing to say.
Just gonna leave this one here....
"And then I see the disinfectant where it knocks it out in a minute. And is there a way we can do something like that, by injection inside, because you see it gets in the lungs, so it would be interesting to check that out."
Well that’s a new one.
A trans friend got "You're registered as a man here, so I need to hear a male voice to complete the verification of your acount."
Not the first time the cable company pulled this 'female' account 'female' voice / 'male' account 'male' voice crap. But that one time was on a whole other level.
But most of the time, dumb statements are harmless, and make for a good story down the line.
I wouldn’t be able to keep a straight face either.alvin and the chipmunks GIF by 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment Giphy
A few questions I've heard come to mind, I'm not sure which is the best/worst.
A few years ago my mom, in her 60s at the time, asked me if chipmunks grow up to be squirrels. Have you ever tried to keep a straight face while explaining to the grown-ass woman who was responsible for keeping you alive for ~18 years that chipmunks and squirrels are different animals?
In high school during a Spanish class as student asked "Do Spanish-speaking people think in Spanish?" After being told yes, her follow-up question was "Are they born speaking Spanish?" The teacher kept a straight face explaining that foreign language speakers learn their language the same as the student learned English, but there were a lot of other students laughing and brutally mocking her.
Ah yes, the two types of guitars.
Dumbest thing I ever asked was, "do you prefer playing electric or air guitar?" I really meant to say acoustic, like my dad's.
Air guitar. I don't know how to play the acoustic or electric guitars, but I never get a wrong note on the air guitar.
Did you change your birthday?
At the bank.
Teller: Is your phone number still 123-4567?
T: Is your address still 123 Easy st?
T: Is your birthday still 01/01/2000?
M: laughing I sure as hell hope so
I can't even make fun of these. One time I asked my husband where the Newport Ferry sailed to.
I think we all have slip-ups in our brains sometimes. It's part of being human, and hey, they stay alive as inside jokes for generations to come