People Reveal The Most Memorable 'IDGAF' Moments They've Ever Witnessed
Some people have just mastered the art of "Meh." Or "Peace out." You know those moments when you just refuse to let life or a nefarious ne'er-do-well get the better of your rational mind. It can be that perfect movie moment in reel time we witness and think "Wow that was something." Teach me your ways friend.
I WOULD'VE JUMPED SHIP!
Was on a ferry one day, standing next to a guy on the ledge. Guy was texting, dropped his iPhone into the sea. He just looked over for a second and pulled out some gum from his pocket and chewed on it and continued looking at the islands passing by. I looked at him once and he just shrugged briefly.
SOMETIMES YOU TRY TO FIND A TEACHABLE MOMENT.
Back when big screen LCD TVs were still expensive, I came home from work one day to find mine shattered. My ex girlfriend's 3 year old son had broken it with a plastic lightsaber on accident, and we had rules about swinging toys around in the living room.
I looked at it for a minute and then calmly sent him to his room, while his mother eyed me warily. She was ready to beat his ass over it, but I told her that would not be necessary. After he was in his room for a bit, I went back there and explained that we no longer have a TV because he was not following the rules and was not careful, regardless. He lost a couple privileges for a week or two, but mostly I just refrained from buying a new TV for a few months so he could experience the loss. He would ask me about the TV, and I would remind him that he broke it. When we finally did get a new one, he was much more careful.
I think it has something to do with the magnitude of the loss. If it were something less important to me, I might have yelled at him or his mother for not watching him. But somehow, it being expensive as it was and how often I used it as a gamer and Netflix addict, made me realize how useless that would be. Skipped past anger straight to acceptance and used it as a teaching moment for the boy.
ALWAYS STAND TOGETHER! I AM SPARTACUS!
Senior year in high school, we had to take a second standardized test, sort of a beta for a future version they were rolling out. Before the testing week, they gathered my class together and told us that no administrators could check our tests, and that we would not be getting individual grades. Instead, how well we did would determine how the test was handled next year.
Our class as a whole decided to mark C for every question. They were so proud we finished the test 2 days ahead of schedule, we got Thursday and Friday off that week. The next year, we screwed up their figures so bad, they had to do another beta test.
OLD LADIES ARE SHIFTY.
One day at my old job, my old boss called everybody together because the upper management decided to cut some people out. This old lady overheard it from the bathroom, and then she zoomed out of there, grabbed her stuff and left before she could get properly fired. She then called the HR to tell them she was getting her paid vacation that was on hold, and hung up the phone before the HR could respond. And she turned off all possible contacts, like cellphone and e-mails.
Then she took 30 days of paid vacation + 4 days of paid sick leave + 29 days of absence (in my country, the law says you can be absent for 29 straight days without being fired for just cause). When she came back, she was properly fired without just cause and got all benefits like unemployed insurance etc.
ALWAYS HAVE A BACKUP!
I was driving behind a person wearing a hat driving their convertible with the top down on a nice summer day. For some reason they leaned their head out the car and their hat flew right off in the wind. Without missing a beat they reach over to their passenger seat and put another hat on their head. Kept driving like nothing happened.
EXIT WITH YOUR BIRTHDAY SUIT!
At a New England boarding school: there was a kid who can best be described as a modern Mark Twain character (ex. he grew up living on a boat, didn't wear shoes to places if he thought he could get away with it, etc.). He was expelled just a few days before he graduated (I think for drug use but possibly one too many alcohol infractions).
With nothing to lose, he took off all his clothes and walked stark naked from the deans' office back to his dorm.
I'm in IT, and I was a network administrator for much of my career. I was the new guy on a team of two, me and the senior network engineer. I had only been on the job a short time, and our employer was planning a massive upgrade of our campus wide network.
Early in the planning, our employer thought our engineer didn't have the experience to handle a project of this size, so they wanted to bring in an outside consultant. Our engineer said this was a waste of time and money. Anyway, at a kickoff meeting, they were laying out the timeline, budget, etc, and we found out that they had contracted the consultant.
The engineer asked why, and they told him they thought he couldn't handle a project of this size. He calmly said "OK. Your consultant can do the whole project by himself.", and walked out of the meeting. They then looked at me and asked if I could lead the project. I told them that if they thought he couldn't handle it, there was no way in hell I could.
ALWAYS KEEP IT CLASSY... NO MATTER WHERE YOU DWELL.
It wasn't me but my wife who spotted this legend.
At this time she was in living Paris. She was enjoying a nice summer walk near Hotel du Ville (The main council building in France). There she spies a homeless guy. Normal right? Wrong.
There was this dude full on bathing in a fountain in the heat of the day, with a napkin draped across his forehead. On the side next to him was a checkered cloth with a wine bottle and a single wine glass.
The most French homeless dude ever.
Once while working at Macy's I saw a dude using moon shoes as actual shoes. Totally not practical in anyway. He was Taking big awkward steps but was totally rocking it.
YOU CAN'T HIDE RACCOON!!
There's a lot of homeless people around me who live behind the Home Depot across the street from me. There's a chained off pond and some heavy vegetation there so it harbors a lot of wildlife as well: raccoons being the primary residents. My friend works at the Italian restaurant next door to Home Depot and parks behind the building so I sometimes hang out with him on his lunch breaks since the restaurant is literally a 45 second drive from my house.
He and I were bullshitting around over a cigarette when one of the homeless guys emerged from his tent and walked up to us. He asked if he could bum a smoke so I obliged. He lit it up, thanked me and started walking back to his tent. My friend and I continued talking for a minute when we heard "that's my cigarette!". We both turned around to see a raccoon skitter across the back parking lot followed by the homeless guy chasing it. The raccoon stole his cigarette from him and tried running away with it.
The raccoon ran up a stack of mulch bags and turned around but it was too late. The homeless dude launched his shoe at the raccoon and hit it square in the face. The raccoon got knocked off the mulch stack and ran away while the homeless guy walked over, picked up his cigarette, walked back up me and said_"Mind if I get another light?". _I asked if he didn't just want another new cigarette but he insisted he was fine. My friend and I were dying laughing after realizing what had just happened.
Few years back a friend of mine was working retail with me just moving skids to the floor and stuff like that. At the time we had a huge a-hole of a GM constantly demanding more work and a harder hustle just being a idiot in general.
Well my pal was leaving for a new job and was already past his time just helping out with extra work we had when he could have just gone home. Coffee in one hand pallet jack in another dragging skids around when our GM stops him and asks him "where are you taking that skid? Dont warehouse it put it on a top shelf out in one of the aisles"
Essentially what he was asking was for my friend to take maybe 60+ boxes of small product off a skid and up on a shelf out of reach on the retail floor. And to top it off he also wanted him to unbox them all first. Literally the most tedious redundant task you could be doing.
My friend just dropped the skid where he was and said _"you do it" _and left the building.
WE ALL NEED MORE LITERATURE.
I heard a story from a friend of mine who is an engineer. He was on the site when a new younger supervisor came on site (young guy trying to prove himself) and the young supervisor sees the crane operator reading a book in his crane (it's his break time) , they were high up in the building and could see him reading the book. Supervisor asked why he's allowed to do that and trying to make a point decided to send the guy home and make a point of him costing the company money to work not read books even though he explained he was taking his lunch break and that's what he enjoys, just reading his book and sipping his coffee it also doesn't make sense to climb however many many feet down for his lunch break. Anyways the supervisor sends the guy home and the high up boss comes on site an hour later and sees the crane operator isn't there he asks and the other people explain what happened... turns out that crane operator is one of 3 people in the country at that time that can operate that crane, apparently the supervisor got fired, crane guy got a raise and is allowed to read his damn book whenever he wants.
I CAN WAIT ALL DAY!
My dad's a pretty reasonable guy. Right up until the point where he meets someone who isn't so reasonable. Then he has absolutely no problem sinking to their level just to mess with them. So we're pulling out of a parking lot. I want to say we were at Bass Pro, but there is a Chipotle in the same parking lot and it was lunch rush. So we're pulling out of the parking lot and a woman was trying to get to chipotle and was in waaaaay more of a hurry than she needed to be. My dad had the right of way, but she tried to sneak in before he came around a corner. I assume she thought he would brake and let her through. He did not. So what we're left with is two cars, her big SUV and his big Ram, which together take up all of the space in this turn, so neither one can get passed the other. So she starts honking at him and he's just giggling. And I mean giggling like a little girl. He thinks this is hilarious that she was being so rude and is now so pissed off. So he starts by waving at her and smiling. It just makes her honk more. Eventually she just lays on her horn, so naturally he does the same. From an outside perspective, there are two cars that are now just in a constant song of honk at each other. I asked him what his plan was and he told me that he was just wasting time until she realized that she could just back up. There was nothing behind her, and she could have gone back at any point in time, but I assume she was so mad that she wanted him to back up instead. Now like I said, my dad had the right of way. And he will stick to his principles until he dies if he has to. Or until he has to pee really bad. We were literally there for close to 10 minutes before she finally backed up, at which point my dad decided he wanted to go the other direction and got out of her way. She started honking at him again...
YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING WITH OTHERS.
Several years ago when I was in college I was at one of the approved smoking sections of the campus I went to having a cigarette. A guy I recognized from one of my classes who was also there smoking got an important phone call, so he moved to the edge of the approved area to talk in privacy. One of the campus security guards (who was notorious for having a superiority complex) happened to be walking by at this time and told him to get back in the approved smoking area, which he was hardly six inches away from. The guy refused and politely tried to explain that the call was very important, personal and he didn't want anyone else to hear. The security guard continued hassling him to get back in the approved area. This went back and forth for about half a minute or so. The guy finally got frustrated and said "Dude, blow me". The security guard, very surprised, with snark responded _"Excuse me, what was that you said, baloney!?"and the guy yelled _"No, I said blow me you a-hole!!" REALLY loud. The security guard's eyes got big and he stood there for a few seconds, then quickly walked away without saying anything.
It turned out dude's mom was hit by a car the day before and was getting an update from the hospital about her condition.
SOMETIMES IT'S ALL TOO MUCH.
Engineer was getting a lot of pressure put on him, lots of OT the last couple of months. Had a meeting and was getting bombarded with questions and a lot of hostile comments from management. He stopped for a few seconds and said "I am outta here" and walked out of the meeting. The project came to a screeching halt which lasted 2 months until people came up to speed.
I FEEL THE NEED FOR SPEED.
Motorcycle rider is out having a ride on a beautiful morning.
Vapid dingbat swerves into him, actually contacting his handlebar before noticing that there is a bike there. Rider didn't have time to slow down enough to avoid being hit. He manages to stay on this wheels, and the car speeds away.
I get to a stoplight, and I'm just in time to see our hero ride up to the light, put down his kickstand, walk over and twist the mirror off the car. He drops it on the ground, mounts up, blows the light (No traffic at this time of day on a Sunday) and is gone.
GIVE YOUR BROTHER A RIDE ALWAYS.
I was driving down the street one day and saw one grown man give another grown man a piggy back ride down the sidewalk. They were both laughing.
RIDE IN STYLE!
I was waiting at a bus stop on my way to school and I saw a guy in a suit skateboarding down the street. In downtown Cleveland. At 7:00 AM.
JUST TEXT ME.
I heard from one of the managers, the boss was planning to fire me after I came back from lunch. So I just didn't come back after lunch.
YOU. BETTA... WERK!!
The other day I saw an old man with his wheelie cart trying to cross the street at a busy intersection. He had the walk signal but was walking so slowly that the light changed when he was in the middle of the crosswalk. Drivers started honking at him, but instead of hurrying across to the other side, the old man stopped, turned to face the line of cars and did a little old man dance, blocking traffic until the light changed back. Then he carried on walking like nothing happened.