People Reveal The Most Memorable 'IDGAF' Moments They've Ever Witnessed
Some people have just mastered the art of "Meh." Or "Peace out." You know those moments when you just refuse to let life or a nefarious ne'er-do-well get the better of your rational mind. It can be that perfect movie moment in reel time we witness and think "Wow that was something." Teach me your ways friend.
I WOULD'VE JUMPED SHIP!
Was on a ferry one day, standing next to a guy on the ledge. Guy was texting, dropped his iPhone into the sea. He just looked over for a second and pulled out some gum from his pocket and chewed on it and continued looking at the islands passing by. I looked at him once and he just shrugged briefly.
SOMETIMES YOU TRY TO FIND A TEACHABLE MOMENT.
Back when big screen LCD TVs were still expensive, I came home from work one day to find mine shattered. My ex girlfriend's 3 year old son had broken it with a plastic lightsaber on accident, and we had rules about swinging toys around in the living room.
I looked at it for a minute and then calmly sent him to his room, while his mother eyed me warily. She was ready to beat his ass over it, but I told her that would not be necessary. After he was in his room for a bit, I went back there and explained that we no longer have a TV because he was not following the rules and was not careful, regardless. He lost a couple privileges for a week or two, but mostly I just refrained from buying a new TV for a few months so he could experience the loss. He would ask me about the TV, and I would remind him that he broke it. When we finally did get a new one, he was much more careful.
I think it has something to do with the magnitude of the loss. If it were something less important to me, I might have yelled at him or his mother for not watching him. But somehow, it being expensive as it was and how often I used it as a gamer and Netflix addict, made me realize how useless that would be. Skipped past anger straight to acceptance and used it as a teaching moment for the boy.
ALWAYS STAND TOGETHER! I AM SPARTACUS!
Senior year in high school, we had to take a second standardized test, sort of a beta for a future version they were rolling out. Before the testing week, they gathered my class together and told us that no administrators could check our tests, and that we would not be getting individual grades. Instead, how well we did would determine how the test was handled next year.
Our class as a whole decided to mark C for every question. They were so proud we finished the test 2 days ahead of schedule, we got Thursday and Friday off that week. The next year, we screwed up their figures so bad, they had to do another beta test.
OLD LADIES ARE SHIFTY.
One day at my old job, my old boss called everybody together because the upper management decided to cut some people out. This old lady overheard it from the bathroom, and then she zoomed out of there, grabbed her stuff and left before she could get properly fired. She then called the HR to tell them she was getting her paid vacation that was on hold, and hung up the phone before the HR could respond. And she turned off all possible contacts, like cellphone and e-mails.
Then she took 30 days of paid vacation + 4 days of paid sick leave + 29 days of absence (in my country, the law says you can be absent for 29 straight days without being fired for just cause). When she came back, she was properly fired without just cause and got all benefits like unemployed insurance etc.
ALWAYS HAVE A BACKUP!
I was driving behind a person wearing a hat driving their convertible with the top down on a nice summer day. For some reason they leaned their head out the car and their hat flew right off in the wind. Without missing a beat they reach over to their passenger seat and put another hat on their head. Kept driving like nothing happened.
EXIT WITH YOUR BIRTHDAY SUIT!
At a New England boarding school: there was a kid who can best be described as a modern Mark Twain character (ex. he grew up living on a boat, didn't wear shoes to places if he thought he could get away with it, etc.). He was expelled just a few days before he graduated (I think for drug use but possibly one too many alcohol infractions).
With nothing to lose, he took off all his clothes and walked stark naked from the deans' office back to his dorm.
I'm in IT, and I was a network administrator for much of my career. I was the new guy on a team of two, me and the senior network engineer. I had only been on the job a short time, and our employer was planning a massive upgrade of our campus wide network.
Early in the planning, our employer thought our engineer didn't have the experience to handle a project of this size, so they wanted to bring in an outside consultant. Our engineer said this was a waste of time and money. Anyway, at a kickoff meeting, they were laying out the timeline, budget, etc, and we found out that they had contracted the consultant.
The engineer asked why, and they told him they thought he couldn't handle a project of this size. He calmly said "OK. Your consultant can do the whole project by himself.", and walked out of the meeting. They then looked at me and asked if I could lead the project. I told them that if they thought he couldn't handle it, there was no way in hell I could.
ALWAYS KEEP IT CLASSY... NO MATTER WHERE YOU DWELL.
It wasn't me but my wife who spotted this legend.
At this time she was in living Paris. She was enjoying a nice summer walk near Hotel du Ville (The main council building in France). There she spies a homeless guy. Normal right? Wrong.
There was this dude full on bathing in a fountain in the heat of the day, with a napkin draped across his forehead. On the side next to him was a checkered cloth with a wine bottle and a single wine glass.
The most French homeless dude ever.
Once while working at Macy's I saw a dude using moon shoes as actual shoes. Totally not practical in anyway. He was Taking big awkward steps but was totally rocking it.
YOU CAN'T HIDE RACCOON!!
There's a lot of homeless people around me who live behind the Home Depot across the street from me. There's a chained off pond and some heavy vegetation there so it harbors a lot of wildlife as well: raccoons being the primary residents. My friend works at the Italian restaurant next door to Home Depot and parks behind the building so I sometimes hang out with him on his lunch breaks since the restaurant is literally a 45 second drive from my house.
He and I were bullshitting around over a cigarette when one of the homeless guys emerged from his tent and walked up to us. He asked if he could bum a smoke so I obliged. He lit it up, thanked me and started walking back to his tent. My friend and I continued talking for a minute when we heard "that's my cigarette!". We both turned around to see a raccoon skitter across the back parking lot followed by the homeless guy chasing it. The raccoon stole his cigarette from him and tried running away with it.
The raccoon ran up a stack of mulch bags and turned around but it was too late. The homeless dude launched his shoe at the raccoon and hit it square in the face. The raccoon got knocked off the mulch stack and ran away while the homeless guy walked over, picked up his cigarette, walked back up me and said_"Mind if I get another light?". _I asked if he didn't just want another new cigarette but he insisted he was fine. My friend and I were dying laughing after realizing what had just happened.
Few years back a friend of mine was working retail with me just moving skids to the floor and stuff like that. At the time we had a huge a-hole of a GM constantly demanding more work and a harder hustle just being a idiot in general.
Well my pal was leaving for a new job and was already past his time just helping out with extra work we had when he could have just gone home. Coffee in one hand pallet jack in another dragging skids around when our GM stops him and asks him "where are you taking that skid? Dont warehouse it put it on a top shelf out in one of the aisles"
Essentially what he was asking was for my friend to take maybe 60+ boxes of small product off a skid and up on a shelf out of reach on the retail floor. And to top it off he also wanted him to unbox them all first. Literally the most tedious redundant task you could be doing.
My friend just dropped the skid where he was and said _"you do it" _and left the building.
WE ALL NEED MORE LITERATURE.
I heard a story from a friend of mine who is an engineer. He was on the site when a new younger supervisor came on site (young guy trying to prove himself) and the young supervisor sees the crane operator reading a book in his crane (it's his break time) , they were high up in the building and could see him reading the book. Supervisor asked why he's allowed to do that and trying to make a point decided to send the guy home and make a point of him costing the company money to work not read books even though he explained he was taking his lunch break and that's what he enjoys, just reading his book and sipping his coffee it also doesn't make sense to climb however many many feet down for his lunch break. Anyways the supervisor sends the guy home and the high up boss comes on site an hour later and sees the crane operator isn't there he asks and the other people explain what happened... turns out that crane operator is one of 3 people in the country at that time that can operate that crane, apparently the supervisor got fired, crane guy got a raise and is allowed to read his damn book whenever he wants.
I CAN WAIT ALL DAY!
My dad's a pretty reasonable guy. Right up until the point where he meets someone who isn't so reasonable. Then he has absolutely no problem sinking to their level just to mess with them. So we're pulling out of a parking lot. I want to say we were at Bass Pro, but there is a Chipotle in the same parking lot and it was lunch rush. So we're pulling out of the parking lot and a woman was trying to get to chipotle and was in waaaaay more of a hurry than she needed to be. My dad had the right of way, but she tried to sneak in before he came around a corner. I assume she thought he would brake and let her through. He did not. So what we're left with is two cars, her big SUV and his big Ram, which together take up all of the space in this turn, so neither one can get passed the other. So she starts honking at him and he's just giggling. And I mean giggling like a little girl. He thinks this is hilarious that she was being so rude and is now so pissed off. So he starts by waving at her and smiling. It just makes her honk more. Eventually she just lays on her horn, so naturally he does the same. From an outside perspective, there are two cars that are now just in a constant song of honk at each other. I asked him what his plan was and he told me that he was just wasting time until she realized that she could just back up. There was nothing behind her, and she could have gone back at any point in time, but I assume she was so mad that she wanted him to back up instead. Now like I said, my dad had the right of way. And he will stick to his principles until he dies if he has to. Or until he has to pee really bad. We were literally there for close to 10 minutes before she finally backed up, at which point my dad decided he wanted to go the other direction and got out of her way. She started honking at him again...
YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING WITH OTHERS.
Several years ago when I was in college I was at one of the approved smoking sections of the campus I went to having a cigarette. A guy I recognized from one of my classes who was also there smoking got an important phone call, so he moved to the edge of the approved area to talk in privacy. One of the campus security guards (who was notorious for having a superiority complex) happened to be walking by at this time and told him to get back in the approved smoking area, which he was hardly six inches away from. The guy refused and politely tried to explain that the call was very important, personal and he didn't want anyone else to hear. The security guard continued hassling him to get back in the approved area. This went back and forth for about half a minute or so. The guy finally got frustrated and said "Dude, blow me". The security guard, very surprised, with snark responded _"Excuse me, what was that you said, baloney!?"and the guy yelled _"No, I said blow me you a-hole!!" REALLY loud. The security guard's eyes got big and he stood there for a few seconds, then quickly walked away without saying anything.
It turned out dude's mom was hit by a car the day before and was getting an update from the hospital about her condition.
SOMETIMES IT'S ALL TOO MUCH.
Engineer was getting a lot of pressure put on him, lots of OT the last couple of months. Had a meeting and was getting bombarded with questions and a lot of hostile comments from management. He stopped for a few seconds and said "I am outta here" and walked out of the meeting. The project came to a screeching halt which lasted 2 months until people came up to speed.
I FEEL THE NEED FOR SPEED.
Motorcycle rider is out having a ride on a beautiful morning.
Vapid dingbat swerves into him, actually contacting his handlebar before noticing that there is a bike there. Rider didn't have time to slow down enough to avoid being hit. He manages to stay on this wheels, and the car speeds away.
I get to a stoplight, and I'm just in time to see our hero ride up to the light, put down his kickstand, walk over and twist the mirror off the car. He drops it on the ground, mounts up, blows the light (No traffic at this time of day on a Sunday) and is gone.
GIVE YOUR BROTHER A RIDE ALWAYS.
I was driving down the street one day and saw one grown man give another grown man a piggy back ride down the sidewalk. They were both laughing.
RIDE IN STYLE!
I was waiting at a bus stop on my way to school and I saw a guy in a suit skateboarding down the street. In downtown Cleveland. At 7:00 AM.
JUST TEXT ME.
I heard from one of the managers, the boss was planning to fire me after I came back from lunch. So I just didn't come back after lunch.
YOU. BETTA... WERK!!
The other day I saw an old man with his wheelie cart trying to cross the street at a busy intersection. He had the walk signal but was walking so slowly that the light changed when he was in the middle of the crosswalk. Drivers started honking at him, but instead of hurrying across to the other side, the old man stopped, turned to face the line of cars and did a little old man dance, blocking traffic until the light changed back. Then he carried on walking like nothing happened.
Any engaged couple looks forward to the big day when after months of planning, they get to tie the knot and declare their love in front of family and friends.
What could possibly go wrong?
It turns out there are so many variables that can contribute to making the bride and groom's celebration a major matrimonial miss.
Curious to hear examples of weddings gone wrong, Redditor lolf**kno asked:
"Those who have been to a ruined wedding, what happened?"
Dramatic brawls and speeches plagued these weddings.
Catty Attendees And Booze
"Very beautiful wedding in a huge barn at this apple orchard. They must have spent a ton of money on the decorations and catering because it looked like something out of a magazine. The ceremony was great, the flower girl did her thing, the vows got everyone choked up. Everything seemed to be going well. Not even 15 minutes into the reception the mothers of the bride and groom getting into a full out brawl, hair pulling, red wine being thrown. Their sons jump in to defend their honor, chairs start being throw, tables are flipped, parents are grabbing children and running for their lives."
"The bride and groom are horrified and leave immediately and head back their honeymoon suite. My fiancé and I left after this as well but we heard from some other friends that most people ended up staying and getting wasted at the open bar on the bride and groom's dime. Apparently, the fight started because one of the groom's sister complimented the bride's grandmother's dress. The bride's mom thought she was being sarcastic and called her a b*tch, then the drama ensued. Mind you they had all been pregaming the wedding pretty hard."
Playing For The Drunk Uncle
"I played a wedding where as we started playing the set, everyone ran outside and nobody was to be seen for the rest of the night."
"I originally assumed it was because nobody liked us but the bride came in afterwards and said there was a huge fight involving multiple members of both families and everyone basically went home upset, injured or in a police van."
"We couldn't stop playing since we were payed and it was our job, and the only person watching was the drunk uncle dancing on his own asking for requests we didn't know."
Maid Of Honor Speech Goes Off The Rails
"Was a guest of friend of the bride, did not know anyone attending. Very expensive over the top place, several hundred guests of this very Italian wedding. Maid of honor grabs mic at the cocktail hour begins her speech, rambling, drunk. Quickly devolves to stating the recently deceased mother of the bride was against this wedding and that's basically what killed her. Plus Vinny will never give up sex workers. She is tackled by several people and dragged away."
"The happy couple is separated and divorced within a year."
This is what happens when bad luck crashes weddings.
Tumbling Into The Sunset
"I work at a golf course with a lot of history behind it. We do wedding venues inside the clubhouse and the actual ceremony is held outside by the historic water fountain and large pond."
"First problem was the weather. I live in the high desert and it was very warm. A solid 90 degrees that day and it was also pretty windy. So everyone's outside, no umbrellas, no ezups."
"The next problem, and probably the worst, was the golf cart incident. The bride and groom wanted to 'ride into the sunset' on one of our golf carts. Drive around a little bit on the golf course. To be fair, it is beautiful on the course during sunset. However the cart had somehow gotten a nail in the tire, tire went flat, battery on the cart went crazy and the cart ended up freaking out. It came to an complete stop from 15mph to zero. The wheels and mechanisms locked up, almost seizing. Both the bride and groom (fairly overweight mind you) both fell out and rolled over a few times. They were totally okay, just a few bruises and perhaps a bruised ego or two. So retrieving that cart was fun."
"And last but not least, the power inside the clubhouse went out to do the high winds. There was no after party available. Only the cake was cut, hardly any food was given out. Yeah, not a great day to cover for someone on your day off."
"I was not born yet, but my parents rented the observation deck on the Hancock building in Boston for their reception. Tallest building in the city, beautiful view. My dad pored over historic weather charts to figure out what day was statistically most likely to be nice out. Day of the wedding comes and of course, thick fog unlike anything they'd ever seen before. Couldn't see a thing out the windows of the room they had picked specifically for the view."
"Worked out well though, they were happily married for nearly 30 years before cancer took my dad's life a few years ago."
"There's one other funny anecdote from that wedding: The wedding was held in Kings Chapel, which is an incredibly historic church here in downtown Boston that's somewhat of a major tourist attraction. To close that on a weekend afternoon for a wedding, it turns out, was not very expensive. The tourists waiting outside to see the church didn't know that, though, and someone started the rumor that my parents were incredibly wealthy, maybe even Kennedys. As a result, there were tons of people taking photos of them when they left the ceremony. Not sure if any of them ever figured out that my parents were most certainly not rich or famous."
"I was best man at my sister in laws wedding (stepped in for the brother of the groom, that's another story entirely)."
"For a whole year of planning all the bride (SIL) wanted was a dove release while they said handwritten vows to each other. Very small, non denominational (most of the family are atheist anyway) wedding."
"Day arrives (early summer) and something is off with the bird handlers. They show up a bit late and are sourcing help from the wedding party to get everything in line. When the time comes to say their vows I help the handler carry the chest with the doves in it over to what is to be the altar where the bride and groom are standing."
"Vows are just about wrapping up and the handler gives ME the signal to open the chest. I open it and see 20-30 DEAD DOVES IN THE CRATE!!!! I immediately close it to try and limit who knows what happened. Too late. The look of horror on the bride's was all that was needed. We spent the next few hours trying to cheer everyone up but by the end of the reception the entire wedding party had organized and filed animal cruelty complaints on the handler. It was all anyone could focus on."
Tragic losses unfortunately befell leading up to or at a couple's nuptials.
The Wedding Guest Who Left Too Soon
"When I was 6 or 7 I went to a cousin's wedding. Everything was fabulous for little me, so much sugar everywhere, basically heaven. The reception was in a big community center that was reserved for the occasion. Went to the girls' bathroom, passing by the men's room to see my uncle on the floor. Went back to the main room to tell my dad my uncle was looking weird. Well, uncle had a stroke and had died."
"The bride spent the rest of the afternoon crying, and everyone except close family left."
"Bright side is the mariage is still going strong 20 years later, despite what happened that day."
A Terminal Diagnosis
"Leading up to my friends wedding his father had been battling cancer after a terminal diagnosis. And it was touch and go whether he would be well enough to attend the wedding, in the end he was too unwell to attend despite wishing that he could."
"Just as we got to the wedding reception my friend was informed that his father had just passed away. It was devastating."
"Happened to my classmate. He is successful middle level manager, divorced, about 35yo or so. Found a girl of his dreams but from a provincial poor town. The girl insisted to have the wedding in her town to show off her 'success.' The wedding is crashed by her old friends including male friends who are not that sophisticated and have some tense feelings towards the successful groom from the city. Somebody starts a fight in the middle of wedding, groom is trying to stop it and got stabbed in the back. Died right there. And he was my classmate."
An Unfortunate Trespassing
"The wedding was at a state park that's famous for its giant gorge/waterfall. I don't know whose idea this was, but someone suggested a photo overlooking this gorge and everybody was game. The wedding party went around a stone security barrier and the maid of honor literally fell off the cliff to her death. It was like 500+ feet."
With a lot riding on a wedding to go off without a hitch, the mounting pressure is one where something is surely to buckle.
And because wedding guests are usually inebriated and high on the buzz of celebration, they throw caution to the wind and make some choices they wouldn't make under normal circumstances.
People's ill-advised actions can have regretful consequences, but no one expects death to be an outcome.
Fortunately, the weddings I've attended or heard about from friends were not as catastrophic as the anecdotes mentioned above.
While the Redditors' stories are sorrowful, it gives me a sense of relief these devastating examples are rare occurrences.
Sometimes I think back to a teacher I had when I was a kid who demanded to know whether any of us were "raised in a barn" in response to crappy behavior. Namely littering. She hated littering. Can you blame her? It's a horrible habit and some people do it with no sense of shame. She dedicated much of her time to telling students to pick up after themselves and dispose of things properly. For that, I'm thankful.
But why didn't anyone else get the memo? The trash I see on the streets is obscene.
People had lots of thoughts to share after Redditor SneakyStriedker876 asked the online community,
"What seemingly uncivilized thing is commonplace in society?"
"We delight in the deaths of others as long as we feel it was justified. But when the reverse happens we act all high and mighty like we wouldn't engage in the same behavior."
"Slaughtering each other..."
"Slaughtering each other via warfare to solve political differences. It's standard policy worldwide."
Indeed it is. And it seems impossible to stop.
"Littering. Especially dropping cigarette butts on the ground/flicking them out the window.
The world is not your personal ashtray/garbage bin."
Every now and then I find new trash in my yard and I am constantly amazed by how nasty people can be.
"Mobbing someone because of their opinion or for a comment they made a long time ago, even if that time was yesterday."
"Xenophobia. The fact that racism and racial violence still exist is an indicator that we're still tribal primates in fancy clothes."
And it makes no sense! It's not based in reality. We are truly a tribal species.
"Shouting while arguing, refusing to listen to the opinions of others, basically the inability to debate and maintain proper communication."
"Letting people die..."
"Letting people die of curable conditions simply because they can't afford healthcare."
Probably the biggest reason why much of the Western world looks at the United States with shame in their eyes.
"Parents forcing their kids to hug family/friends despite the kid being uncomfortable doing it. They feel uncomfortable for a reason."
"During the holiday season..."
"During the holiday season, customers take products off of our online fulfillment carts. Y'all have legs. Get your own."
"Using phone speakers..."
"Using phone speakers in public. I don't care what you and your friend think about that restaurant, or how much that Spotify jam speaks to you. Nobody else wants to hear it."
We truly need to stop all of these, don't you think?
Have some opinions of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
I love presents. I try to hide my enthusiasm, and I do my best to appease the greater public by saying "it's the thought that counts." But that is a WHOLE lie. I don't just love gifts, I love great gifts. And if you go rogue from my lists, please keep a receipt. It's just plain rude to divert from what the recipient has requested.
This thought process has emerged from experience. I have received some trash presents over the years and now I'm too old to pretend you just went crazy while shopping. Like... "do you even know me?!"
Redditor u/sulemannkhann wanted to hear all about the presents some of us have received that we prayed, came with a receipt, by asking:
What's the worst birthday gift you ever got?
Have we met? That is an actual question I asked a gift giver once. (Who shall rename nameless) Football tickets. FOOTBALL TICKETS?! Who? What? I can't.
Looks FamiliarBroad City Wow GIF by Comedy CentralGiphy
"My own scarf. Yes, that's right, my mother went into my room took my only scarf, wrapped it and gave it to me like it was a new scarf."
"Thought I was getting a bike for my 15th birthday but my foster parents announced that they were sending me to a group home after living with them for 11 years. Devastation! That place was a wake up call. More independence then at my foster home but those kids had it really really bad, 12 year old heroine addicts, abuse... what the entire hell! I hurried up, graduated from high school at 16 and got the hell out of that place. I turned out ok, work in the legal field, live in Las Vegas. I did forgive my foster parents before they died."
The Forgotten One
"My brother and I worked for a farmer one summer, and he paid us with a used car. At the end of the next year, my brother graduated high school, so my parents paid me out for my half of the car, and that was his graduation gift. I gave them all a big discount compared to what it was worth. So like $500 for my share of a $2500 car."
"2 years later, and I needed $50 for some graduation fees, so I borrowed it from my mom until I could get to the bank. (Before mobile banking and ATMs everywhere.) Later, when my mom is telling me they invited all their friends over for a 'graduation' party, I asked if they had gotten a gift for me. "Well I gave you fifty bucks."
"I paid it back the next day, and she didn't blink. The 'graduation party' was just my parents friends, who said congratulations to me, but it wasn't really for me. A few years later, my little sister graduated, she got a car. They bought a used car for her, and our other little sister got the same when she graduated. My parents are mostly nice, and I never felt like they singled me out at birthdays or anything. Just my graduation seemed like I turned invisible."
Office Party Fail
"HR complaint from two subordinates fighting over how to throw me a surprise birthday party."
"I've never worked in an office environment, but the stories I've heard of people being required to buy a cake for the whole office and to celebrate their birthday with their coworkers would be enough to keep me in blue collar work for life, were it not for the fact that I love being active and working with my hands and could never sit at a desk all day anyway."
Basicslaw school finals GIFGiphy
"My Asian mom's gift was "no extra Kumon homework after school homework" so my birthday gift was that I didn't get extra homework from her."
Regifting is trash behavior. Do better. I'd rather you just say I forgot. Or... I just don't care for that much. But regifting? No.
"Stomach flu and my first ever period, at the same time. I think it was my 13th birthday."
"Omg, exact same story for me. It was my 13th birthday and my family took us kids to visit our relatives in Subsaharan Africa for the first time. I was sick, jetlagged, overheated and riding down a bumpy road in a Jeep driven by my dad in the complete darkness. We had just eaten at a restaurant where I found a giant scarab beetle in the bottom of my soup bowl. I have flashbacks to this day."
"My grandparents have been gifting me (and my brother) the same set of three vice grips for almost 10 years. Collectively we have 60 vice grips. I don't know if they bought a pallet of them, or where they are coming from. GET A GRIP GRANDMA!"
"I had a friend who's father was famous for doing Christmas shopping at the last minute. One year she complained that she went downstairs on Christmas morning and found, sticking out of her stocking, a spatula. Her birthday was a few days after telling that story, so myself and her friends all decided to get together and get her spatulas for her birthday, as a gag gift."
"Well, when it was our birthdays she retaliated. Which lead to a counter-offensive. And soon a new tradition was formed. And guys, I have so many spatulas now. Everything from dollar store cheap plastic, to hand-carved spatulas, a golden spatula, and even a replica of the famous Malaysian fighting spatula."
"I've got seasonal spatulas. As in, today it's time to pack away the Christmas spatulas and bring out the heart-shaped Valentine's day ones, followed by the bunny-shaped Easter ones. We've also been passing around this clip from the Weird Al Yankovic movie UHF. "Spatula City, we sell spatulas, and that's all!"
Their ultimate whack-a-doo move...
"A pair of homemade custom pajamas. Only problem was that they weren't made yet. It was just the fabric and a promise to make them for me. I had to give the fabric back and I never got the pajamas."
"Nothing legal just at our wedding they gave us a card that basically said 'have some land.' When the dust settled I asked what they thought we would do with it, they said build a home. I said ok, gonna need legal ownership for like building a house. They said sure we will get right on that. Then they decide to sell out and retire and never mentioned our wedding 'gift' again."
Gross...Disgusted Steve Carell GIFGiphy
"My grandma got me a hairbrush with a plastic horse head handle. The horse head was all chipped up and there was hair in the brush."
"My Godfather sent me a Birthday card each year which said, he paid 100 bucks to a bank account which I was supposed to get, when 16yo. He then got into alcohol, used all the money and died."
Oh for God sake, why even bother giving anything at all? Lint rollers, used brushes, homemade pjs... y'all ever hear of a gift card? Just put five bucks on it and call it a day. You can't hide cheap, so stop trying.
I'm still on the fence about this whole extraterrestrial situation. I need more proof. Now I'm not naive enough to think that in this vast, endless universe only the human race exists. I just need proof, tangible, solid, didn't see it from my trailer through beer goggles proof.
I also need proof about the afterlife, another out there topic. Truth be told, I've never been that into this whole conversation. I've got enough daily problems on this planet, let alone worrying about making Will Smith's biggest hits into documentaries and not just popcorn/comedy space farce.
But let's compare thoughts...
Redditor u/ValencikHannibal197 wanted to discuss life beyond this planet, what do we really think? They asked:
What's the best theory on UFOs or aliens you've ever heard??
I definitely wouldn't turn down an excursion to AREA 51. I'd like to poke around and get a sense of the place. I've never personally been up close and face to face with a "non-Earther." Not sure I'd like to be...
TV Truthx files monkey pee GIF by The X-FilesGiphy
"UFOs/Aliens are a cover for all of the secret projects that the government is working on. Actually stole that from the X files."
"How human birth parallels alien abductions:
- Babies are taken from their home (womb)
- They still developing sight, so they see bright lights and grey figures.
- They hear an "alien" language they don't understand.
- They suddenly feel cold after leaving their womb.
- They are in a surgery room being poked with tons of instruments.
Long story short: some people suggest that abductions are just people who had memories of their birth."
In the Mind
"I just don't think anyone will ever see this. But I think that UFO's are the projection of our unconscious collective mind. Everything that exists in reality, also exists, in our immaterial mind. Is it possible that the insides of our mind are also just one drop in the ocean of consciousness... and together we create the material reality were in, simply by experiencing it in a real way, inside-out through our senses."
"My father was an aircraft mechanic and fabricator for test and spy aircraft for the USAF. He spent 75-85 working with test aircraft. He said that when they were going to do a test, that could possibly be seen by the public, they would make a betting pool on how many UFO reports local authorities and flight towers received."
Under the Seasci-fi ufo GIFGiphy
"I like the idea that some UFOs aren't machines. Instead they are some sort of Upper-Atmosphere Jellyfish. I found the issue of Fortean Times that had this article. Here's the cover: http://ft.gjovaag.com/q/images/a/ae/FT291.jpg"
Interesting. There are some ideas we can look into. None of it proof, but possibilities. There are certainly plenty of future film ideas.
"We are like that un contacted tribe and everyone agrees not to bother us."
"I've heard it explained from a channel (idk if you know what channeling is) kinda like this. First of all, we as a species tend to freak out, shoot first and ask questions later. Most humans would have a literal psychotic break. You have to believe in vibrational energy as it relates to our consciousness."
"The aliens (certain ones) are at such a higher level that it would be jarring for us to come in close contact with. We are slowly getting there but it's a process. Like 2012, end of the Mayan calendar, wasn't the end of the world it was the end of an energy cycle that we as the human race had never made it past before."
"Previous civilizations have been destroyed or destroyed themselves before they got this far. We passed a point where we are very unlike to destroy ourselves anymore. This doesn't mean we won't see some real bad hardships yet but we will keep progressing."
"train your eyes"Dancing GIFGiphy
"I was a firm believer in t em when I was in high school and kept googling theories and info in my spare time and during my study halls. They said their bodies were so lightweight or something that the reason why you can't see the evidence is that they disintegrate before hitting the ground."
"And then LOL it was so funny, some people would swear you could "train your eyes" to see rods... HhhahAHAHAHA. Like there were these experts. Video showed him walking around with a serious face, then pointing. And he's like, "that was one just there." "You can't see them, you have to be used to them... like me."
"I've spent many years immersed into hunting them finding them. That's why I can see them." And then one day China, who loves occult stuff, had like a lab that set up a nighttime camera to capture footage of rods at night... then realized they were normal bugs at overexposure. lol"
"The Dark Forest theory. Basically the theory that the reason we haven't made contact is because all the other civilized life in the universe/galaxy knows not to broadcast their location. They've learned that there's something awful or predatory lurking in the dark forest of our galaxy, and that it's better if they keep to themselves."
"That the universe is so vast that we haven't been discovered yet."
"This makes sense to me because traversing the distance to or from even our our stellar neighbors would require technology that is not known to us now or likely to be known by us anytime soon if it's even possible at all. To assume without evidence that aliens could possess this technology and have visited us does not meet my skeptical standards."
Back and Forthback to the future great scott GIFGiphy
"Time travel exists, and UFO sightings are actually future humans coming back to our time. That is why they are so discreet, and never openly make contact."
I hope time travel exists. Now that I'm onboard for. If aliens do exist... just come on out guys. We could probably use your help.