People Reveal The Most Memorable 'IDGAF' Moments They've Ever Witnessed
Some people have just mastered the art of "Meh." Or "Peace out." You know those moments when you just refuse to let life or a nefarious ne'er-do-well get the better of your rational mind. It can be that perfect movie moment in reel time we witness and think "Wow that was something." Teach me your ways friend.
I WOULD'VE JUMPED SHIP!
Was on a ferry one day, standing next to a guy on the ledge. Guy was texting, dropped his iPhone into the sea. He just looked over for a second and pulled out some gum from his pocket and chewed on it and continued looking at the islands passing by. I looked at him once and he just shrugged briefly.
SOMETIMES YOU TRY TO FIND A TEACHABLE MOMENT.
Back when big screen LCD TVs were still expensive, I came home from work one day to find mine shattered. My ex girlfriend's 3 year old son had broken it with a plastic lightsaber on accident, and we had rules about swinging toys around in the living room.
I looked at it for a minute and then calmly sent him to his room, while his mother eyed me warily. She was ready to beat his ass over it, but I told her that would not be necessary. After he was in his room for a bit, I went back there and explained that we no longer have a TV because he was not following the rules and was not careful, regardless. He lost a couple privileges for a week or two, but mostly I just refrained from buying a new TV for a few months so he could experience the loss. He would ask me about the TV, and I would remind him that he broke it. When we finally did get a new one, he was much more careful.
I think it has something to do with the magnitude of the loss. If it were something less important to me, I might have yelled at him or his mother for not watching him. But somehow, it being expensive as it was and how often I used it as a gamer and Netflix addict, made me realize how useless that would be. Skipped past anger straight to acceptance and used it as a teaching moment for the boy.
ALWAYS STAND TOGETHER! I AM SPARTACUS!
Senior year in high school, we had to take a second standardized test, sort of a beta for a future version they were rolling out. Before the testing week, they gathered my class together and told us that no administrators could check our tests, and that we would not be getting individual grades. Instead, how well we did would determine how the test was handled next year.
Our class as a whole decided to mark C for every question. They were so proud we finished the test 2 days ahead of schedule, we got Thursday and Friday off that week. The next year, we screwed up their figures so bad, they had to do another beta test.
OLD LADIES ARE SHIFTY.
One day at my old job, my old boss called everybody together because the upper management decided to cut some people out. This old lady overheard it from the bathroom, and then she zoomed out of there, grabbed her stuff and left before she could get properly fired. She then called the HR to tell them she was getting her paid vacation that was on hold, and hung up the phone before the HR could respond. And she turned off all possible contacts, like cellphone and e-mails.
Then she took 30 days of paid vacation + 4 days of paid sick leave + 29 days of absence (in my country, the law says you can be absent for 29 straight days without being fired for just cause). When she came back, she was properly fired without just cause and got all benefits like unemployed insurance etc.
ALWAYS HAVE A BACKUP!
I was driving behind a person wearing a hat driving their convertible with the top down on a nice summer day. For some reason they leaned their head out the car and their hat flew right off in the wind. Without missing a beat they reach over to their passenger seat and put another hat on their head. Kept driving like nothing happened.
EXIT WITH YOUR BIRTHDAY SUIT!
At a New England boarding school: there was a kid who can best be described as a modern Mark Twain character (ex. he grew up living on a boat, didn't wear shoes to places if he thought he could get away with it, etc.). He was expelled just a few days before he graduated (I think for drug use but possibly one too many alcohol infractions).
With nothing to lose, he took off all his clothes and walked stark naked from the deans' office back to his dorm.
I'm in IT, and I was a network administrator for much of my career. I was the new guy on a team of two, me and the senior network engineer. I had only been on the job a short time, and our employer was planning a massive upgrade of our campus wide network.
Early in the planning, our employer thought our engineer didn't have the experience to handle a project of this size, so they wanted to bring in an outside consultant. Our engineer said this was a waste of time and money. Anyway, at a kickoff meeting, they were laying out the timeline, budget, etc, and we found out that they had contracted the consultant.
The engineer asked why, and they told him they thought he couldn't handle a project of this size. He calmly said "OK. Your consultant can do the whole project by himself.", and walked out of the meeting. They then looked at me and asked if I could lead the project. I told them that if they thought he couldn't handle it, there was no way in hell I could.
ALWAYS KEEP IT CLASSY... NO MATTER WHERE YOU DWELL.
It wasn't me but my wife who spotted this legend.
At this time she was in living Paris. She was enjoying a nice summer walk near Hotel du Ville (The main council building in France). There she spies a homeless guy. Normal right? Wrong.
There was this dude full on bathing in a fountain in the heat of the day, with a napkin draped across his forehead. On the side next to him was a checkered cloth with a wine bottle and a single wine glass.
The most French homeless dude ever.
Once while working at Macy's I saw a dude using moon shoes as actual shoes. Totally not practical in anyway. He was Taking big awkward steps but was totally rocking it.
YOU CAN'T HIDE RACCOON!!
There's a lot of homeless people around me who live behind the Home Depot across the street from me. There's a chained off pond and some heavy vegetation there so it harbors a lot of wildlife as well: raccoons being the primary residents. My friend works at the Italian restaurant next door to Home Depot and parks behind the building so I sometimes hang out with him on his lunch breaks since the restaurant is literally a 45 second drive from my house.
He and I were bullshitting around over a cigarette when one of the homeless guys emerged from his tent and walked up to us. He asked if he could bum a smoke so I obliged. He lit it up, thanked me and started walking back to his tent. My friend and I continued talking for a minute when we heard "that's my cigarette!". We both turned around to see a raccoon skitter across the back parking lot followed by the homeless guy chasing it. The raccoon stole his cigarette from him and tried running away with it.
The raccoon ran up a stack of mulch bags and turned around but it was too late. The homeless dude launched his shoe at the raccoon and hit it square in the face. The raccoon got knocked off the mulch stack and ran away while the homeless guy walked over, picked up his cigarette, walked back up me and said_"Mind if I get another light?". _I asked if he didn't just want another new cigarette but he insisted he was fine. My friend and I were dying laughing after realizing what had just happened.
Few years back a friend of mine was working retail with me just moving skids to the floor and stuff like that. At the time we had a huge a-hole of a GM constantly demanding more work and a harder hustle just being a idiot in general.
Well my pal was leaving for a new job and was already past his time just helping out with extra work we had when he could have just gone home. Coffee in one hand pallet jack in another dragging skids around when our GM stops him and asks him "where are you taking that skid? Dont warehouse it put it on a top shelf out in one of the aisles"
Essentially what he was asking was for my friend to take maybe 60+ boxes of small product off a skid and up on a shelf out of reach on the retail floor. And to top it off he also wanted him to unbox them all first. Literally the most tedious redundant task you could be doing.
My friend just dropped the skid where he was and said _"you do it" _and left the building.
WE ALL NEED MORE LITERATURE.
I heard a story from a friend of mine who is an engineer. He was on the site when a new younger supervisor came on site (young guy trying to prove himself) and the young supervisor sees the crane operator reading a book in his crane (it's his break time) , they were high up in the building and could see him reading the book. Supervisor asked why he's allowed to do that and trying to make a point decided to send the guy home and make a point of him costing the company money to work not read books even though he explained he was taking his lunch break and that's what he enjoys, just reading his book and sipping his coffee it also doesn't make sense to climb however many many feet down for his lunch break. Anyways the supervisor sends the guy home and the high up boss comes on site an hour later and sees the crane operator isn't there he asks and the other people explain what happened... turns out that crane operator is one of 3 people in the country at that time that can operate that crane, apparently the supervisor got fired, crane guy got a raise and is allowed to read his damn book whenever he wants.
I CAN WAIT ALL DAY!
My dad's a pretty reasonable guy. Right up until the point where he meets someone who isn't so reasonable. Then he has absolutely no problem sinking to their level just to mess with them. So we're pulling out of a parking lot. I want to say we were at Bass Pro, but there is a Chipotle in the same parking lot and it was lunch rush. So we're pulling out of the parking lot and a woman was trying to get to chipotle and was in waaaaay more of a hurry than she needed to be. My dad had the right of way, but she tried to sneak in before he came around a corner. I assume she thought he would brake and let her through. He did not. So what we're left with is two cars, her big SUV and his big Ram, which together take up all of the space in this turn, so neither one can get passed the other. So she starts honking at him and he's just giggling. And I mean giggling like a little girl. He thinks this is hilarious that she was being so rude and is now so pissed off. So he starts by waving at her and smiling. It just makes her honk more. Eventually she just lays on her horn, so naturally he does the same. From an outside perspective, there are two cars that are now just in a constant song of honk at each other. I asked him what his plan was and he told me that he was just wasting time until she realized that she could just back up. There was nothing behind her, and she could have gone back at any point in time, but I assume she was so mad that she wanted him to back up instead. Now like I said, my dad had the right of way. And he will stick to his principles until he dies if he has to. Or until he has to pee really bad. We were literally there for close to 10 minutes before she finally backed up, at which point my dad decided he wanted to go the other direction and got out of her way. She started honking at him again...
YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING WITH OTHERS.
Several years ago when I was in college I was at one of the approved smoking sections of the campus I went to having a cigarette. A guy I recognized from one of my classes who was also there smoking got an important phone call, so he moved to the edge of the approved area to talk in privacy. One of the campus security guards (who was notorious for having a superiority complex) happened to be walking by at this time and told him to get back in the approved smoking area, which he was hardly six inches away from. The guy refused and politely tried to explain that the call was very important, personal and he didn't want anyone else to hear. The security guard continued hassling him to get back in the approved area. This went back and forth for about half a minute or so. The guy finally got frustrated and said "Dude, blow me". The security guard, very surprised, with snark responded _"Excuse me, what was that you said, baloney!?"and the guy yelled _"No, I said blow me you a-hole!!" REALLY loud. The security guard's eyes got big and he stood there for a few seconds, then quickly walked away without saying anything.
It turned out dude's mom was hit by a car the day before and was getting an update from the hospital about her condition.
SOMETIMES IT'S ALL TOO MUCH.
Engineer was getting a lot of pressure put on him, lots of OT the last couple of months. Had a meeting and was getting bombarded with questions and a lot of hostile comments from management. He stopped for a few seconds and said "I am outta here" and walked out of the meeting. The project came to a screeching halt which lasted 2 months until people came up to speed.
I FEEL THE NEED FOR SPEED.
Motorcycle rider is out having a ride on a beautiful morning.
Vapid dingbat swerves into him, actually contacting his handlebar before noticing that there is a bike there. Rider didn't have time to slow down enough to avoid being hit. He manages to stay on this wheels, and the car speeds away.
I get to a stoplight, and I'm just in time to see our hero ride up to the light, put down his kickstand, walk over and twist the mirror off the car. He drops it on the ground, mounts up, blows the light (No traffic at this time of day on a Sunday) and is gone.
GIVE YOUR BROTHER A RIDE ALWAYS.
I was driving down the street one day and saw one grown man give another grown man a piggy back ride down the sidewalk. They were both laughing.
RIDE IN STYLE!
I was waiting at a bus stop on my way to school and I saw a guy in a suit skateboarding down the street. In downtown Cleveland. At 7:00 AM.
JUST TEXT ME.
I heard from one of the managers, the boss was planning to fire me after I came back from lunch. So I just didn't come back after lunch.
YOU. BETTA... WERK!!
The other day I saw an old man with his wheelie cart trying to cross the street at a busy intersection. He had the walk signal but was walking so slowly that the light changed when he was in the middle of the crosswalk. Drivers started honking at him, but instead of hurrying across to the other side, the old man stopped, turned to face the line of cars and did a little old man dance, blocking traffic until the light changed back. Then he carried on walking like nothing happened.
There is a world full of mysteries to explore right at our very feet.
Do we engage with it on a level that might make us more uncomfortable? Well, if we really want to learn everything there is to know about our planet earth, we have to engage in the unsettling facts. They appear across every discipline.
The Easier Way Out<p>During the French Revolution, where the guillotine was introduced, the people to be executed fought to be first, as the blade would dull after multiple uses and wouldn't cut a head clean off at the first attempt.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Back2Bach/" target="_blank">Back2Bach</a></p><p>And the last execution by guillotine in France was the same year Star Wars came out.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/CaptainPrower/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">CaptainPrower</a></p>
At LEAST One?!<p>You have probably unknowingly encountered, or walked past at least one murderer in your lifetime.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/theprettyunicorn/" target="_blank">theprettyunicorn</a></p><p>For sure encountered. Worked night shift at a convenience store, guy pulled in to put gas came in the store used the atm and left. 3 min later swarm of cops surrounded the store. He had just murdered his family a couple states over and cops got a hit when he used the atm machine.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Cool1Mach/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Cool1Mach</a></p>
WELP<p>For a long time it was believed that babies were too underdeveloped to be able to feel pain, and as such, did not need anesthetic for any kind of surgeries.</p><p>Up into the 1980's.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/FartKilometre/" target="_blank">FartKilometre</a></p>
Internet History<p>Eventually, most of the content on the internet will have been created by dead people.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Phaesporic/" target="_blank">Phaesporic</a></p><p>Now I'm imagining a class like English literature but for internet culture and picturing a bored class with some kids sleeping while the teacher is saying some shit like "Okay class this meme is 100 years old and it says Me and the Boys going out to get some B E A N S what do the B E A N S symbolize and how does it reflect what was going on in society ? " lmao.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Cheshire_Cat8888/" target="_blank">Cheshire_Cat8888</a></p>
Awful, Awful<p>There are estimated to be at least 25 active serial killers in the United States alone at any given time. Very few will be detected, much less apprehended.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/brideofchuckydoll/" target="_blank">brideofchuckydoll</a></p><p>Derrick Todd Lee and Sean Vincent Gillis were both active serial killer in the same city from the late 90s to early 2000s. For most of this time, law enforcement did not realize they were trying to catch multiple individuals, much less that they were acting completely independently of each other. On top of that, there are additional unsolved murders that neither was ever linked to whose evidence raises the possibility of a third active serial killer in the area during the same time period.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/see-bees/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">see-bees</a></p>
Viewer, Beware....<p>National parks are not all swings and roundabouts. Over 1600 people have gone inside Yellowstone National Park and never come out.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/I_Am_A_Master-Baiter/" target="_blank">I_Am_A_Master-Baiter</a></p><p>Yellowstone is known for boiling water and pools of acid. People on this earth put gorrilla glue in their hair. I don't have any questions about what happened.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/MCqStep/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">MCqStep</a></p>
Statistically....<p>If you end up being the victim of a violent crime, you probably know the perpetrators. You probably trust them, most likely, you love them.</p><p><span data-verified="redactor" data-redactor-tag="span"></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Double-Kicks/" target="_blank">Double-Kicks</a></p><p>People find it weird when the police declare most family members and close friends of murder victims to be suspects, but this is precisely why. You are FAR more likely to be (deliberately) killed by someone you know than a stranger. Also, in most countries and demographics, the most likely person to deliberately kill you is you.</p><p><span data-verified="redactor" data-redactor-tag="span"></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/kutuup1989/" target="_blank">kutuup1989</a></p>
Our Brains Are Unsettling, Too<p>There is a rare genetic degenerative brain disorder called Fatal Familial Insomnia. FFI starts as a mild inability to sleep followed by short bouts of intense nightmares/dreams and progressively deteriorates until the sufferer is completely unable to sleep, at all. Eventually impacting the human ability to microsleep as a last ditch effort of self preservation. There is no cure for FFI and eventually sufferers lose their minds and die of sleep deprivation. But it gets so much worse.</p><p>Due to the degenerative nature of the condition as it progresses you begin deteriorating mentally and physically. You lose the ability to regulate body temperature and may swing between freezing and sweating, you develop severe memory problems, confusion, agitation, weight loss, paranoia, hallucinations, speech problems, double vision, loss of motor controls (similar to parkinsons), inability to swallow, increased blood pressure and production of tears as well as many other unpleasant symptoms. The combination of your mind going and your body shutting down eventually kills you.</p>
Rise Of The Machines<p>There so far at least two fatalities as a result of robots, both of industrial type.</p><p>The first was in Flat Rock, Michigan in 1979 when an engineer was killed when he was hit in the back and crushed while retrieving parts at an automobile factory. It was due to a malfunctioning industrial robot he was fixing. The second was in Akashi, Hyōgo, Japan where a maintenance worker was fixing a broken-down robot when it came to life by mistake. Both locations happened in factories that are well-known for manufacturing vehicles.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/MissSara101/" target="_blank">MissSara101</a></p>
So Can We Fix The Justice System Now<p>One to five percent of the US prison population is estimated to be innocent.</p><p>Combine that with the fact that one percent of the US population is incarcerated and your chance of being wrongly imprisoned in the 21st century is around 1 in 1000 in America.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Crocoshark/" target="_blank">Crocoshark</a></p>
Let's be honest, most of us don't read the Terms and Conditions before we click that little "I Agree" button. Most of you probably aren't even going to read this intro.
A huge chunk of you are going to open this article and immediately scroll to "the meat" because we're all about getting to the good stuff. But that rush can sometimes mean missing out on some seriously important tidbits of info.
The Catch Was...<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4OTYxNy9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0Mzg2NjM3N30.Zr6T7LGuuXaTr7NKBFfaCTwEc0Fvu3yJ-KdYO-Xk_No/img.gif?width=980" id="c41a3" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="f677f014d9104effd3b059212c9af24c" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270" />Giphy<p>I financed some furniture when I was young and getting established in my first professional job. It was interest-free financing for the first 12 months. </p><p>The catch was that if you paid late, they would charge you a fee, back-interest from the beginning of the loan period, and you would lose the interest free status for the rest of the loan. The APR was 29.9%, compounded monthly! </p><p>I couldn't imagine getting to the 11th payment and having something go wrong so a payment is late, then pay basically double what I had financed on the furniture.</p><p>I paid it off in 6 months, and I never did in-store financing again.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnx5tr1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">EngineeringQueen</a></p><p>This is most interest free gimmicks. Educate your friends. Usually the young ones fall victim to this.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny23jj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Chimmiii</a></p><p>I sold furniture and we had financing like this and I made sure to always tells my customers this so they couldn't come at me later on down the road. Others didn't and it just seemed so shady and f*cked up to me.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxldnd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Piccolo_known</a></p>
Get It From The Next Owner<p>I almost signed a contract that granted 50% of profits to the previous owner of the business for 3 years. It was a restaurant that used a conventional microwave instead of an actual oven.</p><p>This was back in the early 2000's and this place had a wonderful 50's vibe. From the bar, to the stools to booths - but it was empty because the food was SO bad and there was fast food up the road.</p><p>We were going to get a pizza oven in there and turn it into a Pizza/Shake place with soup in the winter. </p><p>When the law STUDENT we paid $500 to look over everything (DO THIS!) asked the seller about it for us, they said that they had sunk so much money into the business, the only way to make the money back was to get it from the next owner somehow.</p><p>Good luck with that.</p><p>We could not get them to remove that clause, the owner was hellbent on making the next person be the one to make the business successful and pay them.</p>
18 Months<p>A realtor once gave me a contract that said she would be the only person allowed to represent the property for 18 months.</p><p>That means that they were the only person that could try to sell the house. For <em>a year and a half</em>. We could not work with a different agent if we felt that this one wasn't doing enough, not responding, if we weren't happy, etc. </p><p>If we did, this agent would still get commission from the sale that that other agent actually made.</p><p>Nope. No way was I going to agree to being attached to someone for a year and a half like that. We found a different realtor with a 3 month term (which is much closer to standard), told the first one that her terms were ridiculous, and was under contract within 10 days.</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny1hbr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Tricky-Garden</a></p>
Idol Entitlement<p>Canadian Idol auditions when the first show was announced. Read the contract to the very end after signing it.</p><p>"you agree to being filmed 24/7. We can enter your room at any time and record personal phone calls and interactions with anyone." </p><p>That received a hard no for me. Ripped up the contract and never looked back. Thank god I read that before submitting it.</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny2yf4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">jenskal</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny2yf4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>Tell the camera crew to get out or get weird.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnz2mr7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WielderOfDaNWordPass</a></p><p>Fine want to record me 24/7? Congrats, I have IBS.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnz0d4s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">wanderurlyy</a></p>
Phone Privileges<p>To be able to link my phone's outlook reader to my university account, I would had to give the IT-department permission to wipe my phone clean "if needed."</p><p>No thanks, I'll just use browser instead.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxdc3z?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">craftaliis</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxdc3z?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>I saw an employment contract where, if you did any company business on your cell phone, they could go through your phone and delete/restrict basically whatever they wanted. </p><p>I advised my friend to make a company-provided phone part of her contract.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxq6pc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">EngineeringQueen</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxq6pc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>Yeah. Someone at my old company had a commonish name, and someone lost their phone... and the company wiped the wrong phone.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnye6z8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">blargh2947</a></p>
The Good Ol' US of A<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4OTYxMi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyOTA1MDM5M30.A1BqwoI_FExTt3jqON2xJbJN1qt62txRrTsJ8V5Ybs8/img.gif?width=980" id="99844" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="9236d4a9b82c22589577961a2a710924" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270" />Season 3 America GIF by Broad CityGiphy<p>Any health and safety terms and conditions in USA. </p><p>I was working on adapting a US one for a charity event in the UK run by the same people and oh boy you cannot get away with that here. One line said if an employee harmed you in any way (even intentionally), you could not sue... </p><p>What!? </p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnydf7s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">lt52-</a></p>
Keep It<p>Free ceiling insulation. </p><p>The catch? You allowed a company to install temperature sensors around the inside of your house, and they can do that at any time. And you have to allow access for them to check the sensors and get readings, adjust things, and remove the sensors. Everything belongs to the company. </p><p>This means letting randos into your house potentially over and over to get their readings from the electrical crap they put in your house. </p><p>Nah I'm good, keep your insulation.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnyrbn7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">bumpequalsbump</a></p>
Airlines<p>Was going to post this as a response on another thread, but I want people to actually see it.</p><p>When you book a flight, in the terms and conditions (especially for basic and econo fares) you agree that in the event of your flight getting canceled due to an act outside of the airlines control they don't have to refund you unless they offer you a travel credit.</p><p>That includes a world spanning virus.</p><p>Don't be cheap, get travelers insurance or pay for the higher fare that has a refund clause.</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxyb4e?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">bpanio</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxyb4e?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a></p>
Crepes<p>I worked for a meat pie company that moved over from Australia that made me sign a contract that I would never work for another meat pie company or open an establishment that sells similar food. I didn't read the fine print. </p><p>They also sold a few other things ... like crepes. Sure enough, I wanted to open a food truck and my partner had her sights on crepes as she made them in her previous food truck and it just happened a truck we were buying was set up to make similar things. </p><p>I gave 1 month notice because they were busy and I didn't want to leave them stranded in high season. I told the owner we were working on a food truck we bought, it was a dream coming true, and that it happens we are doing crepes as my partner is French and had done them before.</p>
This Sparks Joy<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4OTU2NS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxOTY0OTgxM30.takzFO7X_vx_UzNvPeNEvpcYSGho5_AZNX-itkNSdOE/img.gif?width=980" id="d78cf" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="09a8efb07fb739ec04f38de1406639f5" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="276" />Giphy<p>I'm pretty sure I gave google the rights to all of my Spotify data when they gave me a free google home. </p><p>On one hand, RIP privacy. </p><p>On the other hand, knowing some poor algorithm has to figure out some possible way to advertise things to me based on listening to Knock On Wood 57 times in a row and the soundtrack to Starship Troopers on repeat gives me great joy.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnywvs7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">OakNogg</a></p>
Claim $100<p>Back when the internet really started being a thing, some company/website put something in their terms and conditions about the first person who reads it, can contact them to claim a $100 prize. </p><p>Took five years for somebody to claim the prize.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny3g6s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">RubyShooz </a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny3g6s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>I wonder how much of that is people not reading it and how much is people reading it and thinking "surely somebody's already claimed this by now, why bother?"</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnyj0gy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Novaseerblyat</a></p>
Amazon ... Should We Be Worried?<p>Not really an example of the worst thing, but you're not allowed to use Amazon's game engine (Lumberyard) for military/nuclear applications normally, but that restriction is suspended specifically if there's a zombie apocalypse</p><p><a href="https://aws.amazon.com/service-terms/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://aws.amazon.com/service-terms/</a> Clause 47.10: "<em>this restriction will not apply in the event of the occurrence (certified by the United States Centers for Disease Control or successor body) of a widespread viral infection transmitted via bites or contact with bodily fluids that causes human corpses to reanimate and seek to consume living human flesh, blood, brain or nerve tissue and is likely to result in the fall of organized civilization</em></p><p><em></em>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny3skb?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">OldGodsAndNew</a></p>
Most Ridiculous<p>I recall a major airline in the pioneer days won an award for most ridiculous TOS to simply look up a flight arrival time on their web site.</p><p>If I recall, it was a 22,000 word document that an analysis said was written at a post graduate reading level. It states that you would, in perpetuity, never use that computer to connect to any other airline's website.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnyb3lm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">NightMGR</a></p><p>What were they planning on doing about it if you broke the contract? Send a hitman after you or something?</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/go1hpi5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ChungusFungus303</a></p>
Citibank Is Serious Business<p>When I started work for Citibank, they asked me to sign two documents;</p><ol><li>promising I would never use encryption for any purpose other than Citibank's for as long as I live.</li><li>promising to obey the laws of all 196 countries on earth that Citibank operates in.</li></ol><p>So obviously I looked at my cubicle mate and stoned her to death for exposing her wrists, and I can no longer use HTTPS.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnyy0u3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">beachbbqlover</a></p>
Death is scary. It brings the unknown of the great beyond, whether that's heaven, some other afterlife, or total nothingness, depending on what you believe.
But there is one perk that comes with death: total control of your funeral.
Let the Games Begin<p>"I got a request for the deceased to be dressed up in a Where's Waldo costume and to have 12 other identical caskets in the room so the guests could try to guess where he was by opening coffins randomly."</p><p>"Each guest was to play this guessing game and then sit down before the next person could enter so everyone could play the game."</p><p>"Problem was not everyone wanted to play the game.....super odd but they paid a lot for it."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnylmi3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ramontgomery</a></p>
Dead In a Faraway Galaxy<p>"The deceased was a huge Star Wars fan and left explicit instructions for his funeral."</p><p>"As funeral organist, I was requested to play Star Wars principal themes on the grand pipe organ for prelude music, processional and recessional."</p><p>"As I once described, pall bearers were dressed in main characters costumes and "Obi-Wan Kenobi" gave an inspired eulogy, drawing upon memorable moments from the series."</p><p>"Using 'full organ' (all the stops out) for climatic moments, I played the <em>Imperial March</em> at the conclusion of the funeral before those in attendance departed for the cemetery for the committal."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnxielt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Back2Bach</a></p>
A True Celebration of the Life He Lived<p>"I'm a florist, and I've created some unique tributes out of fresh flowers, and more."</p><p>"I made a putting green two feet across, complete with ball, tee and a club for an avid golfer. I constructed a fish out of various blooms and leaves, placed by a lakeside foliage spray. I've made rainbows and black and white themed arrangements. I put a lot of heart into memorial pieces."</p><p>"A few years ago, I was helping a family decide on their tributes for a much-loved man. The wife stressed he was known for his big blue Giant Eagle truck, and most of their friends were from the driver's union."</p><p>"I volunteered myself for a watercolor picture of the truck around which I would design a floral spray. It took four attempts, but I was finally happy, and framed it."</p><p>"Two days later, I received the most wonderful letter from his wife, and said that everyone agreed it was the most appropriate and important statement about his life. It will sit on her mantle for the rest of her life."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnyf7h2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">cavepainted</a></p>
Friends Til the Very End<p>"My family owns a grave digging business as well as lawn and garden statues, someone purchased an 8ft tall gorilla statue."</p><p>"My dad delivered it and asked what they were going to do with it and where they were putting it, the guys said their friends dying wish was to be stuffed up this concrete gorillas a**, and that's what they did."</p><p>"They drilled a whole in the a** and put their buddies ashes inside"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnytm2i?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">hayhay428</a></p>
Always Watching<p>"My husband found out they can make gems out of cremains, and now he wants to be reduced to 2 jewels seated in his own eye sockets."</p><p>"I don't want a skull! I don't want to own his skull! I don't want him to watch me with his evil gem eyes!"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gny5vcy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ParadiseSold</a></p>
For Science<p>"My own will requests that my right eye be removed, preserved and delivered to my oncologist in Miami for him to do with whatever he sees fit."</p><p>"Hopefully as a teaching aid to new optometry students, but if he wants to use it for pranks I'm totally fine with that too."</p><p>"I survived a very unusual eye cancer and they had to do all kinds of experimental things to repair it when all was done. I jokingly suggested I donate it to science when I went and he said that was an amazing idea. So, here you go."</p><p>"I hope whoever deals with my corpse has fun with that request."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnxp6ri?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">zerbey</a> </p>
One Last Look<p>"My wife's uncle asked the funeral director when he dies he would like his eyes open in the casket during his viewing."</p><p>"His entire life everyone commented on his big baby blue eyes and he wanted them open for people to see one last time."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnycdzg?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Agreeable-Scratch424</a></p>
One Last F-You<p>"One rich guy hated his kids and didn't want them to get a cent of his wealth. He therefore wanted all his money to spent on a mausoleum for his coffin with a rose garden around it and the eternal upkeep thereof."</p><p>"He had the city council-approved architectural plans for the mausoleum included in his will and testament."</p><p>"He demanded in his will that the remaining funds, after construction, must go to a gardening service to maintain the rose garden and clean off the bird poop from his mausoleum in perpetuity until the money runs out in a few centuries."</p><p>"The mausoleum is in Cemetery de Saint Rambert outside Lyon, France."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnxnk4q?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">JingoisticJeremiah</a></p>
Utter Indifference<p>"My coworker was meeting a client who was picking up his mother's cremains. My coworker has the client sign a release, then hands him the urn."</p><p>The man immediately turns around and drops the urn into the trash can."</p><p>"My coworker is a 40 year funeral director veteran, and without missing a beat, he says, 'Sir, I can understand your strong feelings about your mother, but I cannot allow you to leave that here. What you do once you get out the door is up to you and God.' " </p><p>"Dude picked up the urn and left without a word."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnybff8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">keliez</a></p>
To Reflect What She Was Like, Or Never Did?<p>"My mom asked the embalmer to put a few stitches in my grandma's cheeks to give her a faint smile. </p><p>"At the time it seemed like an odd, even slightly morbid request, but 20+ years on, it's one of the only things I remember from her funeral. It was kind of lovely, actually."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnx79mi?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Fearless_Lab</a></p>
After we've watched a movie, it can be difficult to imagine the film as a project that took months or years to finally culminate into the product we see at the theater or on our television.
But it was built and hacked together, piece by piece.