It's easy to get angry over little things. Being late for work, your phone not holding a charge anymore, or your favorite ice-cream shop closing early on a Monday for no reason. However, most people can think back to that one time when the anger was too much and they became a living ball of fury. These are those times.
Reddit user, u/Nacho36, wanted to hear about the most angst-filled anger ever when they asked:
Parents Being Awful
My parents forcing me to intervene and pick sides in their divorce even though I feel like I'm too old for that drama. And if dont pick a side, I'm disowned from both.
That sh-t got me so mad I started crying
Stand Up For Yourself
My dad was once being an a--hole to my mother. I told him to stop. He threatened to break my jaw.
I told him to do it then.
Adulthood started early for me.
From One Brother...Giphy
This boy literally almost threw my brother over a bridge after school.
Over f-cking Fortnite.
When my brother stole $700 from me when I was 16.
That was years worth of savings.
Standing Up For Those Who Can't
My dad has Parkinson's and some cognitive difficulty and a few years ago I was over and found out that a guy conned him into paying $100 to "fix" a spot on his bumper by spraypainting it silver. He didn't understand and had taken the money out of his wallet and given it to the guy.
I completely lost my sh-t and cursed him out on my lawn in front of my parents. My blood was boiling, they had never heard me speak like that before. I think it struck a nerve for me because he was fairly high up in the NYPD for 25 years and involved in a lot of heroic situations, so it was really hard to see him unable to deal with this simple crook.
Ugh, Kids, Again...
Background: When I was young, my family was in a car wreck. A horse had gotten out of its pen and tried to jump over our car. Landed on my dad's side and broke his neck. He's fine now, but that really screws up a kid.
Fast forward: I'm a freshman in high school. Class jerkoff decided to start giving me crap about horses and how my dad should've died. I started across the classroom at him, for the only time in my life fully intending on killing someone.
I'd been in martial arts for several years at that point and knew exactly what I was going for. The asst. football coach tackled me while the jerkoff was pulled out of the room.
In hindsight, I'm really glad the coach did that. This guy was a lawyer's kid, and it scares me to think how my life would have been wrecked by that outcome.
Just Tell Me!
My gf cheated on me. Not a once-off, but over months with many guys.
What made me mega-angry is that pretty much everyone in my friend group knew, and it was so funny that they managed to keep it from me for so long.
When You Know They Did It...An Can Do Nothing
My moms crackhead girlfriend stole most of my pain medication after I had emergency surgery and sold it. She also sold a bunch of my other belongings like a skateboard and bass guitar.
When I confronted her she guilt tripped me and told me I was f-cked up for even thinking it was her because my mom died of drug related issues and I "know what she went through" with my mom.
Probably Won't Be The Last Time He Doesn't Get A Date
I was suspended 4 days from school based on false accusations from a guy because I didn't want to date him. Extremely abusive and manipulative person. Administration didn't believe a word I said and also suspended people who supported my side. 100% the angriest i've ever been.
Sounds Like You Need Better People In Your Life
When my ex cheated on me twice,acted like she never did that to me,and then I went into a blind rage for the whole day.
That and when my best friend of 4 years started to pretend like I and our other mutual friend didn't exist.No explanation,nothing.
She just pretends like we don't exist.
When I was in high school I was big into Warhammer.
For those that have never heard of it, Warhammer is a tabletop game played with armies of hand-assembled, hand-painted models. They are very expensive and take hours of personal work to be "finished." Now, as a high school student my army cost about as much time and money as I had. I kept it all in a foam-packed case that by itself cost about $90. The army itself cost about $350, and a good amount of it was a gift from my parents. I had spent dozens of hours painting them.
So imagine my reaction when I caught my twin sister trying to throw my case out my bedroom window. I'm not saying it was totally unwarranted - we had had an argument prior that I was totally complicit in - but I had just walked in on her trying to destroy months of work and money, and she was DRASTICALLY escalating the kind of tit-for-tat we had started. In that moment, to my reptile brain, she wasn't my sister - she was a threat.
I slammed her to the ground and pinned her by the neck. Not hard enough to choke her, but she wasn't going anywhere. I fixed her dead in the eyes and told her if she ever came into my room again, I would murder her. I didn't say "kill," I said "murder," and as far as I'm concerned that makes it worse. Then I blinked, took a look at myself and what I was doing, and let her go.
Not my proudest moment. She didn't know how much the models were worth, she thought they were simply toys, and I can only imagine I scared the sh-t out of her. To my parents' credit, they handled everything very well when they got home and heard what happened. I fessed up myself, I didn't want them to hear it from her. They were sympathetic about me protecting my property, but I was sternly reprimanded for using physical force to threaten anybody, however briefly.
No One Touches My Siblings
Found out a friend of my friend slapped my little sister for not giving him her number while my "friend" laughed, I went nuclear and knocked both of them out.
I've always been really protective of her since my dad was abusive to my mum, sister and myself.
A Big Bullet Dodged
The time that I found out my ex was looking at child p*rn and his family didn't find out he had been doing this until the cops came to his door.
At the time we were dating, I was hoping to get married one day and start a family.
He told me either the day after it had occurred or something. I still remember being so disappointed at the time, screaming and crying towards him.
Dodged a bullet with that one.
Why Do You Think I'm Here???Giphy
Went to the financial aid officer at uni and they spoke to me as if I was about to steal their money and treated me like sh-t the entire time.
I lost it when the lady said 'if your father couldn't afford it why did he send you to college'
SO THAT I LIVE A BETTER LIFE SO THAT MY DREAMS COME TRUE YOU CHEWED UP PIECE OF GUM UNDER MY SHOE
League Of Legends Is The Worst
A few months ago i broke my chair cuz of fkn league of legends
It was at that point I realized that sh-t aint healthy
Anger Needs To Be Discussed
Teacher here. Was on a sub assignment before earning credential. Middle school. Kid I knew had a sibling in Highschool commit suicide just days ago. Found her sobbing between bells, asked if she wanted to step out and talk, or if she wanted some privacy, or anything.
She doesn't say anything for an uncomfortable minute and slowly passes me a balled-up paper. I unballed it and read it. Someone who had been bullying her left her a note gloating over the death and all the reasons why they deserved to be dead and burning in hell.
Three things happened that day after reading that paper. The first is that I scared a cluster of incoming students and some faculty after slamming the door behind me loud enough to trigger a seismic event. The second is that I ran, literally ran into the principal's office, closed the door behind me and laid out the paper on her desk with a quiet, "look at this sh-t." The third is that the final straw was laid for said student to receive an expulsion.
I was upset during the next period and ignored the sub plan for the first time ever, and I talked about it with the students. They seemed relieved to be able to address recent events and talked about how jarring it all was, going through school assignments like nothing happened.
The affected students were not in the class. The bullied girl was prioritized for counseling services. I hope she's okay, I still think about it a lot. I was told later the letter writer was expelled and several other students received serious consequences. I appoligized for being unprofessional with the principal, but she took it in stride. I was hired a number of times after that incident, so I am guessing it was forgiven.
Days like that can change how one looks at humanity.
Everyone has a bucket list, even if we haven't written it down. We all have a few ideas in the back of our minds about the things we want to do or see before it's lights out on life.
That's why the Make-A-Wish foundation is so special. They are often able to gift children extraordinary life highlights in the midst of tragedy and sorrow.
And every once in a while some of those requests are a bit surprising and off the wall. Hey, to each their own. Who knows why any of us love the things we love.
Redditor u/The_King123431 wanted to hear all about the wishes that have made people go... "Hmmmm!" By asking:
Make a wish employees, what was the strangest wish a kid asked for and actually received?
If tragedy had struck me at 5, I know I would've asked to meet ALF. I thought he was real...and Kermit & Piggy. Like I would've loved a tea and ice cream party with them. Actually... I would still ask for that now.
MulanChina Oops GIFGiphy
"I had cancer when I was very young and I was able to get a Make-A-Wish. Without hesitation, I said I wished I could eat Butterfingers with Mulan."
"It was my favorite candy and my favorite Disney character at the time so it made sense to me. But they didn't really know what to do, so they just sent me off to Disney World lol. Every time I go to Disney, I always bring Butterfingers with me & I always try to find Mulan in hopes my wish can come true. Maybe one day!"
"Ayo. Wish higher."
"I shot an internal promotional video for Make a Wish once. I got to read through a big book of wishes they had granted. Some of them were so extravagant and amazing. Family vacations, celebrity meetings. And then I saw a 3 year old who wished for a banana split for breakfast. And that's what they gave him. No one was like "Ayo. Wish higher."
"I helped host a visit to a planetarium by a kid whose wish was to go to the moon. The front office folks thought I could just give her a personal tour of the planetarium and show her some nice high-resolution visuals, but I thought she deserved better than that. I commissioned a jeweler friend and meteorite enthusiast to make a silver crescent moon necklace, which he graciously donated to the cause, and I donated a small lunar meteorite from my own collection."
"It was a gorgeous necklace very much to the credit of my friend's artistry and generosity. We couldn't take her to the moon so we gave it to her instead. She was thrilled, but later said her real highlight of the trip was the astronaut ice cream. Ah, kids."
A Few Ideas...
- "To be a "merman" (a boy mermaid). He got a tail and swam in the giant tank with other mermaids at the aquarium.
- To play football with "the red team" (no pro or college preference - just had to be red). USC made it happen."
"3) To be a "cool kid": Got a limo ride to the mall.. red carpet entrance with cheering fans, signed autographs, shopping spree for clothes. 5 years old- So cute- and very "cool."
"4) To be Robin (not Batman... he said he wasn't ready for that). Went on an epic adventure fighting crime with Batman."
Thanks VlasicBig Deal Sunglasses GIF by Dietz & WatsonGiphy
"There was a Make-a-Wish kid in a class I taught once and their wish was to tour a pickle factory. Pickles were their all time favorite food and they wanted to see how the sausage was made so to speak. Apparently Vlasic rose to the occasion in a major way and she had the time of her life."
Now I want a pickle and I think I need to rewatch "Mulan." At 12, I def would've asked to meet Madonna. No, I would've asked to go on tour with Madonna. And I would've wanted an endless supply of Fun-Dip. Remember that?
2 of a Kindbaby delivering GIFGiphy
"I know someone who was granted a wish. Of all things they could choose, they asked for 2 tiny birds, 2 budgies."
What up LEGO??
"I worked at a LEGO retail store in the 2000s and Make-A-Wish approached us for a child with terminal Osteosarcoma who wanted to be in the store for a day. LEGO unfortunately denied the request (which surprised myself and the rest of the staff because LEGO was a pretty great company)."
"Staff decided to honor the request ourselves. We closed the store early on a Sunday, then invited the kid and family in. He had a full run of the store, we collectively paid for like $1000 worth of toys for him to take home, and just spent the entire evening building w/e he wanted. He died a few months later 😭."
"In wizard 101 there's a quest with an NPC named Brandon, named after a make a wish kid who played the game, and his request was to design a side quest for the game. You meet Brandon and go help him clear out this dungeon with 2 really freaking hard bosses, was a lotta fun. At the end you get a gem you can socket that lets you summon Brandon into battle as a follower, pretty cool. Not sure what ended up happening to Brandon, but it's really cool that thousands of ppl have gotten to enjoy being a part of his wish tbh."
The Doc is In...
"I was approached by a similar organization who wanted to arrange a day for a kid to shadow a veterinarian. I'm just a small animal veterinarian with a small hospital so I found it odd that I'd be approached. I said yes (who tf would say no?) and we picked a day and had our regular patients in the hospital and the kid got to watch us do our thing for a day."
"We gave him a lab coat and a stethoscope and let him tag along and see x rays and ultrasounds and watch surgeries. I brought my dog in so he could try the ultrasound on her. He seemed to enjoy it. It wasn't a terribly strange request really, it just seems like my day-to-day isn't something anyone would consider their dream experience."
FORE!!golf swinging GIFGiphy
"My cousin was a Make a Wish kid. He loved golf, like had a scholarship to go play college, he loved it so much. He got to meet and play a round of golf with Payne Stewart. Unfortunately, he died not too long after that. I hate you cancer!"
I love these stories when I hear them. They make me believe in humanity, briefly. At my current age... I'd still want to meet ALF and Madonna but also, bourbon and tea with Adele. And you?
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Cities. Those things we live in.
What city would you never, ever, EVER live in?
These places, while inhabited by a good number of people, aren't exactly the kind of spots you would want to go back to on a repeat visit.
Transformed Into Something Unsettling
"For me, it's Mecca. It's beautiful, but it's just not for an openly gay Western dude like me."
"Same with Tehran."
"Im surprised you think Mecca is beautiful lol. I, along with almost every Muslim I know, hates what has happened to that place. The skyscrapers are extremely ugly (especially that goddam clock tower) and overshadow the beauty of the mosque. Almost all historical sites are gone except for the Kabah. I know they need infrastructure to handle all the people but they did it in the worst way possible."
"Mecca like almost every other Arabian city has turned into places for rich Saudis to show their wealth and almost nothing else."
"Irvington, NJ - My friend told me to run through every red light and not stop at any cost after I dropped her off at her apartment. Her wise words phased me as I stopped at the first red light. 3 seconds later a huge motherf-cker with a crowbar starts heading in my direction. 3 red lights all while screaming toward McCarter Highway."
"The following week my car was stolen while I was attending classes in Newark and they used my car to rob a liquor store in Irvington, NJ. Literally only owned my car for 2 weeks."
"F-ck Irvington, NJ."
The Literal Fast And The Furious
"Cairo, Egypt. 19 million people, 23 million cars, no stoplights. On a 3 lane road, you have 5 lanes of traffic, left shoulder, straddling first white line, middle lane, straddling 2nd white line, and right shoulder! When we visited, our tour guide told us we needed 3 things to drive there…"good brakes, good horns & good nerves!"
Cars are bumper to bumper, and then people are crossing the street in between the cars, walking, in wheelchairs, pushing baby strollers! Then along beside our bus, comes someone riding a donkey! Crazy. Soldiers with machine guns on the street corners, we even had an armed guard on our tour bus."
Then there are some cities, some you might never have visited, which have generated enough discussion and gotten enough publicity to be actively awful in your mind. You don't have to have gone there to know you never want to be there.
A Place To Skip Completely
"Mumbai. Even if I was financially secure, I couldn't stand seeing all the poverty and squalor all the time. It would weigh on me."
"A friend of a friend spent six months riding his motorcycle from London to Chennai. He recorded everything in his journal in excruciating detail except for Mumbai. There was only one sentence about Mumbai. It was about driving around Mumbai. He did everything you could imagine on the way, but decided to skip Mumbai completely."
Not All Of It. Just Some Of It.
"Paris. I used to hate all French people because of my experiences there, and then I met one who explained that there's basically two Frances; Paris and everywhere else, and then we bonded over bad mouthing the place and now my antipathy is more precise."
It's All In The Family
"LA, if you want half quality people, air, and living for double the price and problems, it might be for you"
"I have friends who live in LA, and swear it's awesome. But they actually live in Rancho Palos Verdes, in their parent's mansions."
And then there's cities like these.
Cities so bad an introduction isn't required.
What's Your Excuse?
"The Simpsons summed it up perfectly: "We were born here, what's your excuse?"
"I can laugh at this because I'm from Thunder Bay"
Booze. Sex. Sin. All The Best Family Values.
"Las Vegas. Fun to visit, but not where I'd want to raise my family."
"I think my first realization that people grow up and live in Las Vegas was at 16 or so when watching Criminal Minds and hearing that Spencer Reid grew up there. It was that record scratch moment. Wait, people LIVE IN and raise their babies in the city of sex, sin, and gambling? I felt stupid, of course, upon realizing that all the casino workers and strippers have to live somewhere, and might fall in love, and might marry and have kids."
"And then I had a second life-changing revelation when I realized people probably feel the exact same way about my home city, Miami. I was raised there and lived there for 2 decades. A lot of people have no concept of Miami outside TV and probably think my parents are horrible people who raised me in a den of yachts, Pitbull, cocaine, dirty money, bad boob jobs, and spring breakers. Meanwhile I actually lived in a very normal and boring suburb."
A Slow Decline Over Time
"Gary Indiana. Went through there when heading to O'hare & was not impressed. heard multiple gunshots when driving through."
"So I literally learned about Gary, Indiana from these threads where it always pops up as one of the worst places to live or be. Could you explain why it is so sh-tty?"
"Long story made short, Gary was a good place to live. Nice paying steel industry jobs. That went away. High crime rate, high poverty rate, and empty, falling down buildings everywhere. I used to live in Chicago and would avoid Gary when traveling at all cost."
Each city is different. What works for some might not be what works for others.
However, it does feel like some of these cities need to be at the top of your "Never Visit" list, don't they?
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Sex is fun. Sex is healthy. Sex should be enjoyed and always consensual. But often, sex can be dangerous, especially when you're trying out new things, like a new location.
Who hasn't thought about upping the adrenaline ante when it comes to sexytime? We've all been there. But some ideas really should just stay ideas.
Why break a hip or an arm just to make things a little more saucy? Just try a different room in the house, or the backyard, but bring bug spray.
And some areas in public are safety hazards for a reason.
Redditor u/playfulinvestment01 wanted to know about all the places we need to avoid when it's sexytime, by asking:
What is the worst place you had sex?
I can tell you from experience that airplanes are not a good idea. Don't ask me how I know. A lady never kisses and tells, but highlights are ok. There will never be enough room and the movies are lying.
Like Glue...Melissa Mccarthy Falling GIFGiphy
"I lived in Australia for a bit and our studio had this black pleather couch. It looked exactly like that casting couch meme so we tried it for fun once. My ex sweats a lot even when it's not 40C out, but it was and we stuck to the couch like glue."
"On a hike in a wildlife refuge. We went off the trail to a more remote area. Was all fun and games tell I got stung on the penis. Was after the event had ended when I was briefly exposed, the little moron went right at me. We joke about it regularly, I'd say it comes up monthly. Just out of the blue she will say "hey remember when you got stung on your penis?" Yes, I remember and will never forget."
Up a Tree
"A "treehouse" that was actually a plywood shack on 6' stilts. It was pretty old and the plywood was splintery, so he laid down an old towel for me (you know, like a gentleman.) Also it was too small for me to fit in any direction, so my head stuck out the door. I stared at the sky and just... And that's the story of how I lost my virginity! A close second would be the bed in his semi-abandoned house full of the semi-abandoned hoarded belongings of his mother. But that's a different story."
"Met a girl online and we tried to do it at the park. A cop showed up before we started and told us we had to leave. We went back to our cars which was at a small shopping mall. We went behind the shopping mall and got it on behind a dumpster. It worked out well so we met up there again a week later. Except that time, as we were walking away, a dump truck picked the dumpster to empty the trash. Was hilarious at the time but frightening looking back on it. This was about 10 years ago."
Keyed OffPiano Performing GIFGiphy
"I don't recommend on top of a piano. Very uncomfortable and not at all the experience we envisioned."
Scratchy...Screaming The Voice GIF by NBCGiphy
"Bottom of cliff next to the ocean. Turns out I have an allergic reaction to coral and my back was scratched the hell up from it. It was windy, wet, and itchy. Runner up is a movie theatre."
"In a literal smoke house... lost my virginity with about 50 rings of deer sausage hanging around to dry. My friend and his dad were gone and we were like "this seems like a great place!" At least when I went home I smelled like venison instead of sex."
"I'm not sure if this counts because we didn't get very far. But In a Burger King parking lot… He had a car, so we would park it someplace and hook up in the tiny little two-seater. I was sitting astride him and most of my clothes were off when he froze. I looked over my shoulder and the once abandoned parking lot was abandoned no more. A family of four were just staring at us through the windshield. We didn't know what to do so I just put my shirt back on and we drove away."
"we can hear everything"
"My childhood house had an enclosed porch that was level with my parents' bedroom window (it's hard to explain). You couldn't see into the porch from the window, but if the porch windows were open and the bedroom windows were open you could hear everything from either room."
"So my now husband and I were trying to have sex in that porch, having opened the windows cuz it was hot AH. My parents usually never opened their window and it was past ten, when they usually went to sleep. We weren't trying to be loud, but apparently we were."
"After we were done, I checked my phone and I had 5 missed calls and a text from my mother saying "we can hear everything" and "please at least use a condom". We didn't acknowledge it at the time but my mom got drunk a few years ago and told my aunt the story and said she was worried she was hearing the conception of her grandchild."
Ivy!jerry seinfeld help GIF by HULUGiphy
"After a drunken night on 6th st in Austin, girl and I were walking down red river st, she drags me in this bushy grassy area, we go at it, finish, call an Uber to west campus, continue going at it. The next day, we are super itchy, come to find later it was poison ivy, got it all over our genitals. Fun times. 10/10 would do it again though."
Also, be careful when and if you do it on a bus. You're never fully out of the driver's line of sight. Don't ask me how I know, I just do. Be careful out there but have fun.
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Being a parent is one of the greatest challenges you'll face.
What did your parents do to you that made you promise that you would never do that to your own children?
You won't be in charge of your child forever. At some point, they're going to go out into the larger world, interact with other people, and suddenly all those little tics and quirks they developed at home will start to hamper their social progress.
Never Able To Hit The Pick-Up Time
"They always had me late or last minute to everything. I'll never do that to my kids because, having it done to me, I know it's all the parents fault."
"That feeling, when you are the last kid to be picked up after a school event that they didn't attend, and my teacher asking if I called, and if she said she was on her way, and how far away we lived, and then a big sigh while we continued to wait, in the dark, outside school, after everyone else has gone home, and me just wanting to disappear."
Forcing Them To Miss Out
"I was never allowed to hang out with friends outside of school. I had to go straight home and couldn't stay and hang out or go over to friends houses after school or on weekends. This went well into my senior year of high school. It sucked constantly feeling like I was missing out growing up."
Definition Of Overprotection
"Isolate them from the world."
"Growing up I see now that they wanted to protect me from how sh-tty things were, but now I feel a useless idiot. If I would've known as a kid that I had violent gang-related family, addicts, or that we were on welfare I could've found a desire to do better."
Taking on the care and responsibility of raising another human being to be a smart, compassionate, and well-meaning member of society shouldn't be easy. It should be a challenge.
Downplaying Their Accomplishments
"My parents never thought anything I did was a big deal. I LOVED art class but I remember showing my mom artwork and she'd tell me she could make that herself, ok thanks."
"Ouch, this brought back a painful memory. I always loved to sing but I was shy. I was also bullied and made fun of quite a bit. In highschool I finally joined choir and it helped me come into my own. I won first place awards at State Solo and Ensemble competition, student of the year in choir and even the Directors Award which was the highest honor given. My mom came to none of my performances. Not until Senior Night when I was the only performer singing a solo. I did the cliche song...Memory from the musical Cats. I got a standing ovation!"
"People who would typically refuse to speak to me approached me to tell me that they never would've dreamed I had that big, powerful, voice in me. I was just about floating with happiness and pride when I walked up to my mom and asked her what she thought. Her face twisted like she'd bit a lemon and she wiped out all my good feelings with the words, "Well, it probably isn't a good song for you. You sound like you were ATTEMPTING to sing opera and it's not supposed to sound like that."
Saying They Don't Quite Stack Up
"Compare them to other kids!!"
"This needs to be higher up. It's soooo insidious. Undermines so much about you, engenders the tendency for you to compare yourself to others, makes you needlessly resent the people they compare you to, but most of all, creates a sense that you'll never measure up or be 'good enough', not just for them, but in general."
Unable To Keep Their Minds At Peace
"The amount of anxiety I have/had from money related things is ridiculous. We were never poor, we were broke they just made bad decision after bad decision putting us in a stupid amount of debt"
Perhaps the most important part to remember when raising a child some adults might forget: You are the adult. Deal with your adult matters and let your child be a child. Don't bring them into your petty squabbles or unresolved affairs.
"My parents refused to address issues between my sister and myself. They hate conflict, so it was easier for them to guilt me into doing whatever my sister wanted and then praise me for being "good" than to ever put her in line. Being praised for always giving up what you want can really mess you up."
Lashing Out At The Other
"My parents were divorced since before I can remember. They did not get along very well when I was a kid. There was one weekend in particular where on the way to drop me off my Dad told me "whatever you do, don't end up like your Mother." Get home to Mom, she tells me "whatever you do, don't end up like your Dad." Best advice either of them ever gave me."
Asking The Child To Be The Adult
"They made their problems into problems for the whole family."
"They pulled us into everything. That's not fair to a kid. F-ck, I was straight out asked to fix things between them sometimes. No kid should be even the remotest bit responsible for their parent's relationship or fixing things that are wrong between them. That's f-cked up."
"We all have problems. We're human. No one expects perfection. But if you have a problem with your wife/husband? Don't bring the kid into it. Don't make it the kids' problem. Don't make the pain of the household -- which they're going to feel anyway -- somehow the kid's fault."
Don't want kids? Don't have kids.
Want kids? Be prepared to do everything you can to make sure that child has a supportive, strong upbringing. Don't let the mistakes of the past become the present.