The world is full of traps for us to injure ourselves upon.
Everything you own has the potential to injure you. And if you're not careful enough...boom.
Here were some of those answers.
Threw a grape in the air to catch it in my mouth. It fell on the floor and I bent down to pick it up and smashed my face into the window sill
Bad, But Could Have Been Worse
Showering at a hotel in a small stall with a slippery tile floor. Bent over to wash my feet, my butt hit the tap handle. I slipped, put my hands out to save myself and violently slammed the glass shower door open. I bashed my forehead and bridge of nose on the tile floor, had a major nose bleed and a giant goose egg on my forehead. I don't have bangs to cover that up. I thought I had escaped without the black eyes I expected after bashing my nose, but 2 days later I woke up with deep purple swollen eyelids. Luckily I had packed my seldom used makeup to cover the worst of it and I wore a hat in the day time. I'm still shocked the shower door didn't shatter when it hit the wall.
Are We Human Or Are We Kangaroo
I was in the 4th or 5th grade but I jumped down an entire flight of stairs. Landed hard and hurt my foot. Walked on it for a day or two afterwards turned out I shattered my heel and broke my ankle.
My Own Force
I live in Minnesota so I am used to kicking snow off my boots by slamming my toe part of the boot down on the ground. Well, it was summer and I happened to get my running shoes absolutely covered in mud, so I instinctively slammed my toes down on the pavement and broke 4 toes.
I found my dad's EpiPen one day while looking for mouth spray for sore throats. It obviously wasn't what I was looking for but I wanted to figure out how it worked. I ended up shooting the needle clear through my thumb. I then hid the evidence of my stupidity and never told my mom until years later.
I'm Hooked And Torn
Was helping husband replace the bathroom fan, so I was standing on the side of the bathtub. I had this plastic hook glued to the shower wall to hang a loofa on. I went to get down and slid down the wall and hooked my butt cheek to the wall. It hurt so bad but was also hilarious. I'm in my 40s and this happened recently.
Fabric Be Dangerous
I got out of a long, hot shower and noticed a thread dangling off of my shirt, and when I tried to pull it out it just neatly sliced through several millimeters of my finger. It was so minor I can hardly even call it an injury, but getting cut by a shirt is definitely the stupidest I've had.
The Cheap Laugh That Cost It All
To try to get a cheap laugh out of my ex, I threw a hammer as hard as I could at a tree.
The hammer bounced off the tree, and I turned just in time for it to hit me in the small of my back.
Miracle I'm not paralyzed.
Don't Mess With The Prosthess
When I was a kid, maybe 10 or so, I had recently discovered that the feet on my prosthetics could be unscrewed and moved into different positions, so I "borrowed" and Allen key from my dad and took it to school so I could unscrew my feet and show my friends at recess...non of them were as blown away by this as I'd hoped, pretty sure they were just used to this kind of thing by now haha.
Anyway, the bell went to tell us to go back to class and I very quickly tightened the feet back onto the prosthetics, put my shoes back on and started making my way back to class. As I was walking with a group of my classmates I started to notice my legs felt wobbly. I looked down and with every step my feet were turning outwards slightly. A normal person would have come to the conclusion "oh, I didn't tighten the screws up enough". But not me, I jumped to the conclusion of "HOLY HECK I CAN CONTROL MY FEET LIKE A ROBOT".
My excitement quickly turned to dread when I realised I don't know how to control feet (been an amputee since I was a baby) and they kept turning until one was pointing sideways. Despite this I kept trying to walk and after a few more steps the foot just fell off and I managed to slam the now footless prosthetic down, which jarred my knee and hips and caused me to slip over and face plant into the corner of a cement mini wall (one of those waist high walls).
Being a self respecting 10yo I started bawling my eyes out, which caught the attention of the new teacher. It's her first day and the only disabled student is in pieces, (the foot got thrown backwards when it fell off) with a bloodied nose, screaming like a banshee. She didn't really know what to do since I couldn't get back up, so she gave me some tissues for my nose and made a very confused call to the maintenance man asking if he knows how to fix prosthetics so I can get to the school nurse.
Not The Big Man On Campus
Riding my bike home in 5th grade slowly alongside my walking friends.
Friend : Drew look where you're going
Drew : naw dude I'm good at biking I can do it with my eyes closed
Friend : no really dude, look out
Drew : naw man, I'm good
Instantly crashes into a parked car, mess up my bike chain, have to drag my bike home in shame and explain to my mom why my knee and lip are bleeding.
Evil walks among us.
That is a difficult fact of life.
Not everybody is a good person.
I'm trying to not be one of those people on the news who "never would've thought!"
But now and again, we're gonna end up surprised and sad.
So let's discuss the people who shooketh us.
Redditorrentinghappinesswanted to know about times we've all faced down darkness. They asked:
"Who is the most evil person you’ve ever met?"
I have met too many evil people in my days.
See! ALWAYS BRUSH!!steve martin laughing GIFGiphy
"My 3 cousins went to a dentist that they found really unsettling but couldn’t pinpoint why."
"Fast forward a while, my older cousin of the three was working as an ER receptionist a few years back when a patient was rushed in very close to death after a dental appointment. My cousin found out quickly he’d come in from their old dentist for a standard tooth removal, i think 2 teeth, that should’ve taken 30 mins."
"He was in the back for TWO HOURS with his wife constantly checking in before she demanded to go back and found the dentist had completely snapped and removed ALL OF HIS TEETH and he was very near death after being under way longer than he should have. Still scares me to this day."
"Not sure about the most but my father is definitely up there spent my childhood with me my mother and older brother being beaten. Then when my brother got older and he was too big for my father to hit he started putting my brother down making him feel worthless which led to him leaving at age sixteen."
"Then my mother and I started getting the brunt of his moods and there was nothing I could do about it because he was bigger than me. But then one day when I was seventeen I realised that I was now bigger than him. I didn't hit him but being able to finally shove him away from my mother made me feel like a horrible darkness had subsided."
Good for You
"My mum had an awful ex boyfriend after she divorced my dad. He used to hit her and once he came round our house where we (me and my four brothers and sisters - all very little at the time) lived and threw a brick through our window. After she left him, he used to stare out the window at me when I walked to school and shout really gross things at me."
"I’d never done anything to this man ever. One time I was in town after school with my friends, and he saw me and shouted ‘sl*t’ at me. I flipped him the finger and walked off. He called my school and told them I’d given him the finger whilst I was in my uniform. I got called into the heads office the next day."
"She was known to be very strict and formidable and really scary. I told her what happened and how he was constantly harassing me and this stern, super posh old lady said ‘good for you, If he comes near you again let me know and we’ll call the police together’. I was stunned because I was terrified of her."
Leave me Alone...
"My sister's recent ex-boyfriend is a huge narcissist and after stabbing himself in the leg as a manipulation tactic, my sister left him and filed a restraining order. Somehow he managed to steal ALL of my sisters stuff including our deceased Grandpa's sweatshirt that got given to my sister and took her dogs ashes as well. He managed to do all this avoiding even going to her house because he paid somebody else to (showed up on the ring camera)."
"He did this to avoid any evidence. He keeps texting and calling my sister in hopes to have her talk to him which would then void the restraining order. He got in with somebody at her work and had him tell her that 'He's closer than you think.' All of this has made my sister genuinely fear for her life so she moved back in with our parents."
"My ex-step father. Put my family through hell. Abusive in every manner. A total piece of sh*t. He managed to flee the country before he was arrested. To this day he is the only person I've ever met where I truly hope he dies a slow agonizing painful death. And that's all I'm going to say about it."
We are truly living amongst demons. Good Lord.
"One of our regular customers at the grocery store where I used to work. Really cold guy. Never smiled. You'd try to engage in small talk with him at the checkout and you'd get nothing back. It turned out later he'd turned his family into a kind of cult."
"He had multiple kids with his own daughters and nieces. When the cops came to his house to take his kids away from him, he barricaded himself inside and killed nine of his kids. Just an absolutely evil man."
"Jonathon Bruce. He killed 2 kids with a pitchfork in Merced California back in the early 2000s. I went to high school with his little sister, and shared a room with him at a big church event my freshman year."
Finally he left...
"I spent a long time working with young offenders, I've also spent 4 years working in a children's home. All in I think I've worked with about 10 children who went on to commit murder. Only 2 would I say were truly evil. One lad I worked with in a children's home took a real disliking to me. Was always making threats to kill me. Not that unusual in this line of work and something I would normally shrug off."
"But this lad I believed he meant it. Thankfully he was moved on quite quickly. A few years later this teenage girl went missing, turns out she was his girlfriend at the time. As soon as I heard this I knew he had killed her. Turns out he did some pretty horrific stuff to her before murdering her. I won't go in to detail."
"A woman I used to know was complaining that when she went to a child's funeral the mother was crying too much and too loudly and it was 'embarrassing.' Said the mother didn't deserve to cry because she (only loosely connected to the family) was not scheduled to give a speech during the funeral."
The Bill Collector
"Was a bill collector for a department store. Called on an overdue account, well-dressed guy and lovely lady came and paid cash. A few days later I saw his photo in the newspaper. He killed his wife and kids by burning down the house. Woman who came in with to pay the debt was not his wife. Later found out he was a serial killer but was amazed at how cool and attractive he was. Why he paid that bill was a mystery."
Well that is all disturbing. Evil never dies.
Being an emergency responder is a high-stress job.
It's a career with long, laborious hours.
There is always a hint of danger. And death is always around the corner.
So we as a society could try to help these people out and not put ourselves in unnecessary danger.
Redditor Diligent-Log6805wanted the rescue workers out there to tell us about the times they rescued people. They asked:
"Emergency responders of reddit, what are some dumb things that have lead to an emergency situation?"
These workers and the world already has enough trouble without my stupid.
"So... was she impressed?"Idiot Reaction GIFGiphy
"Kid driving his new truck down a residential street, wet from a recent rain, lost control and hit a parked car, overcorrected and rolled it once back onto its wheels up onto a lawn. He told the fire chief he had gunned it to impress his girlfriend and the chief just looked at him and asked 'So... was she impressed?'"
"I had a client once who was basically Ricky from Trailer Park Boys, loud, obnoxious, hilarious and every second word was some Maritime slang or a derivative of 'f**k.' He has been on daily eye drops for decades for dry eyes, sure ok cool. I hear screaming down the hall and run in and he's wedged against the wall and the bed just screaming 'I f**ked up boys, I dunno what the f**k is f**king happening but It's f**ked."
"Turns out he mistakenly put Jublia which is an antifungal ointment for toenails in his eye thinking it was his eye drops. The strangest part was the bottle has this miniature sponge at the end so you soak the sponge then paint it on like a gel...he painted this antifungal ointment onto his eye which immediately went red and angry then proceeded to do the other one."
"So he's at the eyewash station and I'm talking to poison control and they are pretty stunned because they have zero data on what happens to a human eyeball when it's painted in antifungal. I can hear the staff at the other end kind of snickering under her breath and she asks can you compare and contrast the eyes? Well... he put it in both eyes. The line goes silent because I can tell she is howling. Guy was totally fine but it was a standout for sure."
Will they show?
"Responded to a call of two minors being kidnapped and their parents being beaten in front of them and then taken someplace else. One was around three years and the other one was six. They were held captive in an apartment out of hundreds of residential apartments which not easy to locate, upon reaching there we found out that the boy six was just playin' with us to see if we would actually respond. Their parents were so embarrassed by all of that and vowed to not give them mobile until they are adults."
"When I was an EMT in NYC years ago we had a call for a man 'unresponsive.' We entered an upscale apartment that was a hoard: floor to ceiling newspapers and magazines, just a mess. The woman who called said her brother was in his bedroom sick."
"We entered his room and it was pretty obvious that he had already passed away. She had placed a bowl under his mouth because he had hemorrhaged which had coagulated the day before it was crazy. We asked her why she hadn’t called sooner and she said thought he’d get better?!"
"The joke around the house was 'if you have to put a bowl under a relative who is bleeding from the mouth, call 911. Don’t wait.' Never thought we’d have to advise anyone to do that. But there ya go. Also, it was Thanksgiving. Didn’t eat any cranberry sauce that year."
God Only KnowsMarried At First Sight Lol GIF by LifetimeGiphy
"Had a guy call because he had the cure to Covid and needed a ride to the local education hospital so he could share it. Dude was so high on meth He ended up having 4 or 5 binders worth of scientific looking notes. God only knows what was actually in them."
Wow, people really need to get a grip. Of their minds.
"Sparky"on fire GIFGiphy
"One of my old bosses once built a new shed in his back yard, to replace his old, worn-out one. He moved everything from the old one to the new one, then decided that the best way to remove the old one was by burning it down. He ended up with no sheds and the nickname 'Sparky.'"
Dead in the living room...
"Paramedic here. We responded to this 54 year old having chest pain. Man was having a heart attack. Dude didn't want to go to the hospital because it too early in the day. That's it. We tried to convince him to go. Got the ER doc to talk to him and he wouldn't budge. He signed a Refusal. Later that same night, his family found him. Dead in the living room. We got to him and started CPR, meds, everything. Dude didn't make it. When we advise you to go to the hospital, go."
"Got called to a shooting. A guy says he received a text message from an anonymous number saying his brother has been shot. He checks all the hospitals with no luck. He goes to his brother's apartment but gets no response at his door but sees his car and can hear the TV on. We get there, attempt to get an answer at the door."
"Eventually we kick the door in to make sure he wasn't dying in his apartment. We boot the door, announce police, and find him asleep in his bed. The guy tells us that he got a new phone number and decided to mess with his brother by texting him he had been shot. He then fell asleep and forgot about the text and was woken up by us. So many wasted resources on his idiotic prank."
"Got called to a priority job. The caller was kayaking in a lake and said that there was an unresponsive male in the water. So off we went, lights and sirens. We requested paramedics and fire to attend as well for the rescue operation. There were about 6 emergency vehicles attending including a rescue boat. We got there within minutes and met the caller who showed us where the guy was."
"He was just swimming, minding his own business. The caller said he was unresponsive, but really he was just ignoring her. Had a chat with the guy, he seemed alright, said he swims here every day and likes the quiet. No issues. Would have been nice if the caller told the operator that he was still conscious and swimming rather than 'unresponsive.'"
Chew SlowlySnl GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
"Well, I was taking a lady home from dialysis and she decided to eat a snickers in the back of the ambulance, and she started choking. Had to do the heimlich, and tell her to finish her food at home."
If it's not a true emergency dial 311. Please.
I hated science classes.
As soon as I could I ran.
But it follows me.
Because science can be downright disturbing.
That's why I blocked out so many of the details.
Redditor Flimsy_Finger4291wanted to compare notes on all the frightening facts that are a definitive. They asked:
"What's the scariest thing that science has proven real?"
As if knowledge isn't scary enough, let's her more...
Hello Terrypaint surgery GIF by gifnewsGiphy
"Some tumors have teeth, hair and even eyes."
"My sister had one minus the eyes! It was cantaloupe sized on one of her ovaries before it was found. She named it Terry the Teratoma."
"My best friend and bunk mate from summer camp died from one of those when I was in 7th grade. Happened so quickly, we were a week into camp and he got really sick. They gave us all heavy meningitis shots because they didn’t know what it was and within a few days he was dead. Turned out to be a brain eating amoeba."
"Edit: strangely enough on the same day he started getting sick one of the lifeguards that was sitting out in a boat waiting for the next group of kids for what we called Trojans Vs. Spartans day had a seizure, fell off the boat and drowned. Only deaths they’d ever had in the 50+ years the camp had been open."
Far Far Away
"The size of our galaxy, how many other galaxies there are and how far away they are. When you can actually see something that incomprehensible.."
"The nearest star to us would take the Voyager 70,000 years to reach. The nearest galaxy to ours would take the Voyager 749,000,000 years. If we some how managed to take on the monstrous task of speed of light travel it would still take 25,000 years to reach the nearest galaxy. And it's even further apart after you read this. Wild stuff!"
"How the brain is literally rewired and chemically altered by childhood neglect and abuse."
"It's genuinely kinda freaky, playing a puzzle game, and noticing how quickly you're getting better at it. The kind of puzzles that were a real blocker in the beginning become baby-easy after like an hour of playing puzzles like it."
"My sister faced horrible abuse at the hands of our father, and she has been working through it with multiple therapists over the last 10 years and she is only now starting to get her life back. I feel like she was robbed at a fair chance at life because of our a**hole father."
AwakeBill Murray Im Here GIF by Groundhog DayGiphy
"Prions, horrific and totally unpredictable."
"Fatal familial insomnia is a prions disease where you can't sleep anymore, you just stay awake until your brain deteriorates and you die."
Now I can never UNKNOW about prions. Perfect.
Days gone by...Aging Matt Damon GIFGiphy
"Ageing. I'm content with death but the idea of my body growing old, frail and eventually falling apart before the end game gives me goosebumps."
"Gamma ray bursts. No warning, no escape, no defense, no survivors."
"If you're talking about supernovas if the star isn't too close the gamma burst would probably only destroy some part of our ozone layer. And gamma radiation is actually the least lethal out of all types of waves."
"Entropy. Time shall consume all things. Inevitable heat death of the universe."
"I personally want the 'Big Crunch' to be true. That instead of fizzling out it all gets sucked back into an infinitely small/dense particle and then another Big Bang happens. It’s my explanation for the multiverse. It’s all one timeline. Just infinitely long."
"More like a theory, the 'orangutan paradox,' when we film a documentary on orangutans, they can’t realize that we are observing them, yet they are the most intelligent species of their category, so aliens might be watching us and we are as oblivious as an orangutan."
Fade 2 SilentListen Scooby Doo GIF by MashedGiphy
"That hearing is the last sense to leave, when dying."
Well that is the antithesis of comfort. Life is so fun.
Ever since Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope opened on May 25, 1977, a devoted fanbase developed.
And that fanbase has opinions.
Lots and lots of opinions.
Redditor Ebo8000 wanted to know:
"What is your most controversial take on Star Wars?"
"LASERS LOCK DOORS. LASERS OPEN DOORS. LASERS KNOW WHAT YOU WANT THE DOOR TO DO."
"But if you get past the door and close it behind you and you don’t want anyone to follow you through it…"
"…you shoot the bloody door panel!"
"Also, f*cking hell, we're in the future (or in the past), whatever, and people have better technology."
"Why put the door control RIGHT NEXT to the door? Put the door control system in a breaker box."
"Build every door so in case of malfunction they all shut closed (after all, they're in space and you don't want to lose air in decompression, do you?)"
"Shoot the breaker box, now the whole floor is closed until someone can figure out what happened."
"Almost look like those doors just exist as dramatic elements..."
"I’d like a film about when the Republic was at its height. 1,000 generations is 25,000 years and we’ve had 9 movies about the last 60."
"Not sure if controversial but they need to take the franchise and yeet it 200 years in the future."
"I'm tired of the Empire era where they need to justify why more than 2 Jedi and 2 Sith exist at one moment alongside knowing everything is pointless until Luke leaves the farm."
Design Fail? No!
"The Death Stars weren't badly designed they were just badly managed."
"Yes, designing them assuming large scale assaults was stupid given the political state of the galaxy but the second Death Star wasn't even finished so that doesn't count, it's all Palpatine's fault. As for the first one that was finished, the Alliance made three runs on the exhaust port."
"The first was called off before they made it to the trench, the second failed and the third was carried out by space Jesus which isn't exactly fair."
"All in all it sounds like a fairly effective defence when you consider the design philosophy."
"The entire universe has a cool factor that outweighs the atrocious storytelling."
"Bro imagine the following movies, but if they were in Star Wars universe."
"Magnificent 7 - A Jedi, Bounty Hunter, Ex-Imperial, Pilot, Wookie, a Droid, and Lawman team up to defend a town against pirates"
"Dredd - Two Jedi climb up an apartment block to confront a new dark side user who has mental control of the entire apartment block"
"Supernatural (T.V. Show) - A Jedi and their apprentice go around and solve and defeat Dark Side Force spots—where the Force consolidates from emotions and creates foul creatures to fight"
"Top Gun - But it's you know, Wedge or something"
"Ford versus Ferrari - But it's podracing or swoop racing"
"Something about the ships in the original series always felt more like real ships than in any of the later movies, despite the objectively better effects of the later films."
"Some of this is probably the use of models (i.e. actual three dimensional objects), but I think there is some critical difference in the design that makes them feel more real (probably because they were designed to be things that would actually work as models)."
"Whatever it is, I LOVED the ships in the original series and never really liked any of the new ones."
"The original trilogy changed the world by showing a universe in space that was dirty and lived in. The special effects from the later movies did not recognize this."
"Boba Fett is an oddly overrated background character, and even after watching The Book of Boba Fett, I don’t really care about him."
"He was never a character. He was a cool helmet."
"He was a cool jetpack too."
Time for the weather...
"Han is actually older than Obi-Wan due to Time Dilation."
"Time dilation in a universe where every planet and moon has the same gravity and atmosphere?"
"And just 1 biome."
"That way they only need one Weather Channel per planet."
"And over to Klaatu for the Tatooine weather report. Klaatu?"
"It's still sunny."
These are the droids we're looking for.
"Star Wars is actually the life story of C-3PO—think about it."
"I disagree. I think its R2-D2's story. He had a much greater presence in Episode 1, 2 and 3, and got the same amount of screen time as C-3PO in 4, 5 and 6."
Fan is short for fanatic.
"Fans ruined the whole franchise."
So, did your controversial Star Wars opinion make the list?